#Ly's unneeded commentary

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Do you think you might eventually provide a track by track review of Lover? The fandom needs your thoughts! Also, how is that 1989 review going? I mean, Pitchfork finally got around to theirs...

OH MY GOD THIS CUTS DEEP F*CKING PITCHFORK. 

I answered this on my most recent Frequently Asked Friday on Instagram so I’ll relay it here again: 

I say this with no intention of shade to anyone who works/organizes their brain in this fashion or to sound like an ancient grandmother. BUT ... I think that in this age of information oversaturation that speed and gut instincts are prioritized over long-form, developed, critical, thoughtful ... thoughts. Lol. You all may have even seen it recently at the Teen Choice Awards when my posts were published with absolutely zero commentary. There was an assumption that it was because I hated the look. When the reality is that I was working to get the posts up so quickly that my state of mind was on MUST BE ACCURATE. MUST POST BRAND. that it hadn’t even entered a state of “Let’s take a look at this outfit and think about what we actually think of it”. 

As a self-diagnosed Type A person who is overly critical and is an innate people pleaser, I can actively feel my blood pressure RISE IN MY BODY and my heartbeat QUICKEN LIKE AN ARMY OF THUNDERING TINY MICE FLEEING A FOREST FIRE when I feel like I am failing people or not producing content that is being requested. I feel like a failure. That I am not living up to expectations (both from others, and myself). Through this blog, I have been given and granted so many amazing things. SO many opportunities have been gained. But the loss that I feel the most innately is the opportunity to process and enjoy new developments like a normal fan. I can no longer simply enjoy things. New things = work. I’m beyond grateful for that and have found SO MUCH FUN and JOY and fulfillment through TSS. But it is also work. With the release of “ME!” I told myself that I would give myself the opportunity to enjoy the new lead single like a normal fan. 

... That literally lasted 11 minutes. 

Because after the second time I watched the music video, the Monique Lhuillier dress ID was up. And soon after that were dozens of other posts for all the other outfits in the video. 

I’m not ungrateful for this. Because this is something that I still love with ALL OF MY HEART. And it overwhelms and humbles me to no end that anybody cares even remotely or slightly about anything that I have to say or think or feel. Like what? That’s BEYOND. That is TRULY. TRULY. BEYOND. 

So even though it will literally go against every natural instinct that I have, I really really REALLY need to fucking try to give myself blog separation so that I can 1. Enjoy this album like a “”normal”” fan 2. Think those long-form thoughts for you guys so that when I am ready to write them down, I’M REALLY READY TO WRITE THEM DOWN and share. And for that, I need time. 

Note: It took me two and a half years to realize ... wow! OOTW is actually a really good song! I really love this?! So. Looping back to my original point. 

I think there is so much unneeded stress and prioritization of fast. It’s almost like it’s better to be fast than it is to be accurate. And that is scary. Especially to me as a former journalist when I think about the state of today’s media. There’s this strange newly born desire to be “first comment”, “first like”. “FIRST!!!!!” 

I hope that TSS on the fashion perspective embodies both of those things: fast and accurate. But the thought development that goes alongside of that (on fashion and music alike) take time. And when it comes to the album, I need that separation to enjoy the album and to also think those thoughts for those of you who care about them. 

I like to think of it as: dial up vs high speed thoughts. High speed thoughts can be instinctual, gut-reaction, quick, and easy to change. Dial up thoughts, I hope, are more critically kind, introspective, wondering, curious, lengthy, and hopefully a bit more long-term (but thoughts can always change!). My brain doesn’t work in a way that I can film a live reaction video and have it up 5 minutes after I’ve listened to the album. I just can’t. And I have such mad respect for anyone who can think that fast and work that fast. But I can’t. And I want to create a safe space for other people who also think dial up. It is OKAY to take your time. It is OKAY to be critical(ly kind). It is OKAY to change your mind 50 times over the course of two weeks until you get to that final resting space where you think your thoughts and feelings lie. 

I do hope that a Lover track by track will come before a 1989 one (lmao) but even if it does, it will not be delivered in a timely fashion. Lol. 

THIS WAS LONG. IF YOU STUCK THROUGH TO THE END BLESS YOUR HEART + SOUL + SPIRIT. 

#opinion

[stray-tori]

The Promised Neverland Anime and Manga Comparison [EP1-4]

I’m still screaming from the latest Neverland EP (4) so I’ve decided to read the manga alongside watching the Anime to see what changed, etc. 

I prefer the Anime-experience usually because I just get so impatient with reading I literally skip speech bubbles after a while I suck. Anyway, here are some stuffs that were different and I’ve considered to be important as a filthy anime-only(TM).

I’ll mark stuff that’s a spoiler (= not in the Anime and pretty relevant) with [spoiler] in front of it

We don’t actually get to know how Norman beat Emma in Tag in the first chapter/episode. This is mostly comedic and to be honest Norman seems smarter and more subtle in his strategies than “I’ll fall down so you’ll come to check on me” tho my weak heart still finds it adorable as hell and it establishes Emma’s caring side even more

We don’t see the game of tag where everyone is “it” except Norman in the manga. They tease it but we don’t see it. The scene where everyone states what they wanna do once they get out is while the others wait for Emma and Norman to finish the first game, therefore Emma doesn’t get to say “I wanna stay here forever”. 

Emma only knows it’s the day Conny gets shipped out after someone mentions it, while in the Anime it’s marked on the calendar. Idk I find it weird to have Emma, who cares so much for everyone, not knowing that, so I think that’s a nice change?

[spoiler] It’s revealed that Mama maid Conny’s rabbit plushie which..... oof.

There’s a reveal that Norman can pick locks / that the house is LOCKED at night/during shipping. That’s a pretty big deal, they should have included that in the anime tbh.

I HAVE BEEN ROBBED-- I mean: EMMA HAS BEEN ROBBED OF ADDITIONAL PHYSICAL SUPPORT IN THE ANIME:

(that sounds wrong no matter how I say it)

more of a commentary but gosh that sounds wrong/sadistic

The moment when Emma and Norman break down after being confronted by Mama takes place in the hallway instead of the stairs and mom actively walks away from them before they do it. Which, actually only Emma breaks down. But Norman does have another moment in the manga where Emma is like “his hand is shaking” but tbh I like the scene in the anime more, because we see it affects him too in a more organic way. The only thing that bothers me is that they literally break down at the bottom of the stairs with Mama at the top of the stairs.

Edit: There’s the visual reveal that Mama has numbers on her neck as well, but on the other side of her neck (if I remember correctly). They also later have Krone suspecting that Mama wants to make Emma a Mama as well.

Ray has mastered the art of ninja-appearing-acts in the manga

Interestingly, everyone seems to have some inner thoughts, making everyone less suspicious in the traitor question YAAAAAAAAY

Ray brings them a book that’s the newest in the house, from 2015. They mention 2015 in the anime so I think it’s fine they don’t deliberately talk about what year they’re in but it comes with speculation about the outside world so that’s a shame. 

They also talk about where on the world they could be but tbh since they don’t arrive at any conclusion I don’t feel like we’ve missed out? Idk.

Mama gives them chores to distract them and to make a room for Sister Krone, which BREAKS Norman. 

LIKE HOLY SHIT, he’s totally having an existential crisis over it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice development and shows his desperate side, but it’s weird because in the anime he’s calm like 200% of the time.

Emma also has a monologue about POWER(TM) and how she wants to catch up to Ray and Norman strategy-wise.

HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:

Something a lot of people have said: Some inner monologues (esp. on Sister Krone) are said out loud in the anime, making her seem kind of stupid by shouting out her evil masterplans for everyone to hear... Emma does this a few times too but it’s not as extreme, I think?

Sister Krone doesn’t have that weird doll in the manga

Some people have complained that we don’t see the chess games between Mama and the team, but they say “We’ve never beaten her at chess!” in the first episode so I think it’s fine?

Gilda never has that “evil glasses” moment in the manga

She does still have that empty look towards Emma and I’M SO CONFUSED BY IT??? IN BOTH MEDIUMS

Also for some reason we don’t get to know that Krone said “If you think Emma is lying, come to me” until like 2 pages later which was so unneeded if you’re gonna reveal it anyway WHY WAIT

Ray doesn’t randomly appear everywhere around Emma and Norman leading up to him joining the team, which makes him both less suspicious but also seem like he cares less. Interesting combination since I interpreted him following them as him worrying.

There is generally way less build up to the traitor thing. The composition in the anime often seems like somebody is hiding and listening in on them WHICH MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS and was the reason why I waved off that it could be Ray because was also being listened too when they talked about the tracking devices.

#tori talks #the promised neverland anime #the promised neverland #yakusoku no neverland #yakusoku no neverland anime #tori talks about trash nobody asked for #tori has opinions

[kob131]

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/182328786102/last-train-home-an-ode-to-rwby

It’s over…it’s finally over.

It WAS over Soku. I had actually forgotten about you for a couple of weeks. It was nice and peaceful.

But you just had to cross the line didn’t you? Just had to hurt people because or your own damn ego.

Well...let me give you one last gifton this last train ride home, eh?

Prepare for a long and tired final post.

Prepare for a long and tried final beating.

Look, let me say this;

RWBY volume 6 is a mess and I think that’s the most charitable thing I can say after spending several years of being invested in it’s crumbling world.

Yes because the man who’ll hold up Ada Adel as someone to trust because they confirmed your biases is such a trustworthy person.

Maybe it was laziness, rushed or sheer incompetence that made this season crumble, so in my final review on rwby as a whole I may have to do some guess work at points; and after several wasted years, I’m not in a position to be charitable. 

You know, Su crits like to call Rebecca Sugar lazy, rushed or just incompetent. Does that make it true then?

After all the shit you’ve caused and the pain you’ve made all in your blind egotism, I’m not in a positon to be charitable either.

Nor kind.

I gotta tell you, volume 6 tricked me, hell from what I seen it tricked alot of us, it started off good, we learned thing we should of learned volumes ago. But then I soon realized that this volume was; damage control. We learn of ozpin origins with salem only to not get to absorb it cause we soon learn through obvious reasons that maria was a silver eyed warrior and when ruby finally starts training, we meet one of jaune’s sisters, also pyrrha’s statue is there but also neo is back, but so is adam and cinder, also mercury has no semblance, tyrian has a new tail.

Nah Soku-

Pretending to apologize while trying to justify stabbing a friend in the back is trickery and damage control. 

You just listed listening to criticism. Something that Miles and Kerry apparently don’t do.

see what I mean? before you could absorb one thing, two more pop up in its place and there’s such a lack in structure in the world, characters their growth development and their dimensions, the magic and power system that ruby is just a mess that gets increasingly worse as it progresses, they take one forward only to stumble several feet back and fall on their ass. And maybe one of the problem is I listen to writers commentary, to someone who doesn’t they won’t see as many problems as I do but when you actually listen to it you see the many problems it has with how this series is handled.

‘Such a lack of structure, development and systems that I won’t even try to explain myself and just feed everyone’s confirmation biases because every single time I tried explaining myself the only people who agreed where the same damn people as always with no attempts at criticism so I have long since figured out that no one around me gives a single flying shit about actual critical thought and just wants to hear their own opinions repeated and confirmed so they can feel smart instead of actually improving. Because shit, I think I’m so great that surely no one like me needs to improve.’

A reboot is at this point completely necessary and needed for this series to make even a semblance of sense. Semblance, Aura and Dust are so poorly handled and explained that they changed at several points.

Semblance was originally something you could use when your aura was completely depleted before requiring aura to use. Except when it’s not but also when it can be, it changes at the drop of a hat, we see yang use her semblance with no aura in her vol 5 trailerdespite miles changing it almost instantly afterwards…

You know, because Monty just wanted random superpowers without limitations and they had to fix that with a logical explanation because Semblances were said to0 be manifestations of Aura and yet they didn't affect each other. But yeah, that one instance that isn’t actually what you said it was because her aura didn’t break is total proof to reboot the series and scrub the original creator out of his one and only original work he wanted to make his whole life because your lying ass said so.

When I started rwby I was optimistic it could be a great show probably not spectacular or amazing but great, and while it had it’s flaws and potholes at the time they were relatively small at first, but they just kept growing and more issues popped up and…christ if you like rwby and notice it’s flaws that’s fine, but I can’t say the same for people who outright ignore the flaws people critiquing the series bring up to get mad and preach about how only positive criticism can save the show. Look as a person who started off with positive criticism I’m not saying it has no place, but you also can’t say critics be it negative from your perspective is objectively bad or unneeded, sometimes a firm but fair hand is needed.

No Soku-

You’ve been pissy that people don’t cowtow to your opinion and look at it as objective fact even though your reasoning is subjective as fuck, even as your standards shatter when faced with people who act EXACTLY like you against shows you like and you throw fits. One look through your blog, or looking at what you did to SSSN, showcases that.

Ruby’s issues are like a small flame building up, you can close your eyes and ignore the problem but sooner or later if something’s not done your house is gonna be completely on fire, and you don’t know how that may affect your surroundings, for all you know ignoring the issue caused the trees behind your house to catch fire, maybe one toppled over and landed on a neighboring house and now it’s spreading. The bottom line is weather you can get past the issue to find the things you like isn’t the problem, it’s ignoring them in the first place, if you aren’t willing to help something grow and change for the better with non rose tinted criticism then you’re not offering any help at all, you’re hindering it because you yourself refuse to change and that can be just as harmful if not worse to coddle something.

Yeah, says the guy with the tag ‘Su crits are wild’

Rwby increasingly became more unhinged as a series, the flaws turned into overlapping problems, this went from a world that felt had love and care crafted into it to a plot and world with more holes than swiss cheese, which is why so many people felt disappointed and rightfully annoyed, could you sit there and tell me if I made a series and told you one thing yet showed you another only to tell you “yeah that’s not what I meant.” in post that you wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit of cheated, lied to or had your time wasted? If not do I have a camel to sell you among other things!

Hold on...

I increasingly became more unhinged as a person, the flaws turned into overlapping problems, this went from a person with maybe some good points but still understand to a person with more psychosis than a looney bin, which is why so many people felt disappointed and rightfully annoyed, could you sit there and tell me if you said one thing and then did another, saying “yeah that’s not what I meant.” in post that you wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit of cheated, lied to or had your time wasted? If not do I have a camel to sell you among other things!

Funny how everything that falls out of your mouth applies more to you than anything else.

As a person who sat through so many lovely crafted media; I sat through paper mario and it’s whimsical tale, I watched avatar and fell in love with it’s amazing characters, world building and music, same goes for things like steven universe, final fantasy 6 (a game ironically about togetherness) ff9, the persona series, hunter x hunter, soul eater, gravity falls, Disney flicks, the dragon age series every super giant game, all these and more were handled with so much love and care and hold their structure throughout.

I.  LOVE. MEDIA.

I bet those SU Crits would say the same thing, give a similar sob story of ‘I. LOVE. MEDIA.’ and say many of the same things while stabbing at SU rabidly like you do RWBY.

I spend most of my time absorbed in their stories worlds and characters to the point I studied it, twice to get two separate degrees in it because I wanted to write at a time. So when I critique rwby, call out it’s flaws and so on, it’s not a personal attack on you if you like it, but I also can’t be satisfied with where the series has gone, not because it’s not ‘my’ take but because I enjoy narrative flow, I find interest in the characters if the plot isn’t too good and vise versa, media can touch on so many amazing things and I felt at a time…that miles and kerry could do well if they tried, if they applied themselves, before becoming such mean spirited, greedy and unwilling people, and this was long before I came into the picture, long before rwde no matter how much you disagree or what to place blame.

I spend most of my time absorbed in their stories worlds and characters to the point I studied it, twice to get two separate degrees in it because I wanted to write at a time. So when I critique SU, call out it’s flaws and so on, it’s not a personal attack on you if you like it, but I also can’t be satisfied with where the series has gone, not because it’s not ‘my’ take but because I enjoy narrative flow, I find interest in the characters if the plot isn’t too good and vise versa, media can touch on so many amazing things and I felt at a time…that Rebbeca Sugar and the crewinverse could do well if they tried, if they applied themselves, before becoming such mean spirited, greedy and unwilling people, and this was long before I came into the picture, long before Su crit no matter how much you disagree or what to place blame.

I’ve heard this story more time than I can count, I don’t give a damn. You’re all the same.

Cause trust me I seen rwby stans (fans unwilling to hear criticism out and will display many hypocritical and messed up tendencies over a cartoon)  not only ignore issues, tell people to kill themselves over a typed critique of a series they like, be irrational, sexist, racist or just plain stupid at times, you realize soon that the rwby tag is a cesspool of horrible people mixed in with some fans willing to discuss the issues offer fixes and healthy non annoying chats on what they like and dislike.

You mean like when you called for me and mage to be destroyed?

Or how about you attacking and betraying your own friend?

Or how about you saying all humans in RWBY are bad people because of what their ancestors did?

Or how about when you said Weiss could demand Neptune be beaten to shit because ‘she’ a woman therefore we shouldn’t tell her how to act’?

Or about literally 99% of your posts?

Or how about that fact that you just described the RWDE tag?

Which confuses me as an individual cause I feel personally you can and should review rwby without threat of an anonymous person telling you to die over your opinion or one of the writers telling people to…enact physical violence on fans who don’t watch the supplemental material they hide, don’t promote to a casual audience and contradict and retcon on a constant basis. And sometimes it’s through a panel or a tweet, a casual rwby fan wouldn’t even catch unless they constantly follow the writers around or have someone dedicated enough to do so.

Which confuses me as an individual cause I feel personally you can and should write media without threat of an anonymous person telling you to die over your opinion or one of the 'critics’ telling people to…enact physical violence on fans who don’t watch the supplemental material they hide, don’t promote to a casual audience and contradict and retcon on a constant basis. And sometimes it’s through a panel or a tweet, a casual rwby fan wouldn’t even catch unless they constantly follow the writers around or have someone dedicated enough to do so.

Yeah, see Soku-

Not only have you NOT proven that Miles or Kerry have promoted violence but YOU have. So uh, when’s the post calling yourself out?

And all the stuff I mention and want isn’t impossible or asking too much honestly, I’d like the writers to be honest and fair to their fanbase, like anyone would, I’d like the to listen to actual critique and hire someone who can guide them so it doesn’t turn into one big “damage control” arc, The characters need more substance and need more screen time to grow as characters and fighters, when your fans excuse character growth with “Well animation is hard, not everything could be onscreen it could happen offscreen.” you have a problem, can you imagine ed just showing up with alphonse and it never being explained and I go “well animation is hard.” yeah that goes without saying but at the same time there are writers, creators and so on who get paid less, have smaller teams and sometimes just teams of two people to work hard on their craft, so never EVER ever excuse jump cuts and lack of characterization, structure and development when better writers are out there busting their asses.

Do not be that guy.

Why should they be fair and honest when you refuse to be?

Why should they listen to critique when you refuse to and demand other creators ignore critics and mock them?

Why should they when you will just ignore any substance?

Why should they when you will NEVER give a damn or even show BASIC HUMAN DECENCY?

Mind giving me a reason Soku, before you start screaming racism?

*sigh* I been sitting here thinking how how I could end this, how after several years of a fast decline in quality, what’s something I could possibly leave this on? What can I say past this point? I been actually sitting in stunned silence trying to mull it over. I guess all I can say is, if you like rwby fair, fine, despite the major holes I discuss fixes with the series, I draw characters, try fixing the crumbling road of rwby trying hard to understand it, make no mistakes that when I critique it it’s not coming from a place of contempt for the series, but of disappointment in how far it’s fallen and how it could have been good if miles and kerry took the hand offered, it wouldn’t lead them down the most comfortable road, but they’d gain experience from it and could fix the series possibly for the better, and if you again like rwby, do not allow rose tinted goggles to blind you from the issues of the series, the ever growing problems with the series and the unwillingness for the writers to change and grow, do not allow more writers to turn into david cage, M Night Shyamalan, or stephenie meyer.

You know-

Despite the fact that you just gotten into shit for attacking people for liking RWBY and have accused the writers of bullshit you can’t prove while effectively calling them the writing equivalents of Adolf Hitler.

Sure, and I’m not filled with burning rage.

If you want the best for the rwby series and the rwby brand then you cannot accept it’s mediocrity, you need to be vocal otherwise the writers won’t be incentivized to do better. And it doesn’t have to be straight up criticism, you can word it your way as long as it helps the writing grow, but at the point we’re at and how nice or not miles and kerry take current criticism rwby will continue to plummet and honestly that’s a disappointment.

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/182206020052/how-can-you-watch-this-show-and-not-have-the

How can you watch this show and not have the biggest smile on your face the entire time?

It’s so good!

It could end here and be the perfect ending!

This is an amazing show and you can definetly tell there’s so much love and care put into every bit of it.

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/181468603497/i-saw-someone-whining-about-how-there-was-no-need

There’s so little information on this at the moment, there’s theory crafting and there’s what SU crits do and making very opinionated arguments with little information and treating it as factual.

https://owoniverse.tumblr.com/post/182379982566/su-fans-since-gem-civilization-probably-doesnt

su fans: since gem civilization probably doesnt know what a fascist is the diamond authority obviously cant be called fascists despite them fitting the definition perfectly!!! therefore you cant criticize them and i can continue making my ship art of the fandoms favorite abusive parents uwu im so smart 🥰

http://sushigal007.tumblr.com/post/182383811096/and-now-its-time-for-the-finale-i-may-have-to

But no, we’re gonna redeem White too now, just like we redeemed Yellow and Blue and Uncle An/dy, with a long, tearful speech about feelings. And now we know we’re getting another season, we’ll probably also get an episode where Sour Cr/eam decides he wants to give Mar/ty another chance and Mar/ty cries and becomes a good dad instantly.

http://jjsupremacy.tumblr.com/post/182369753512/if-id-known-the-su-fandom-was-this-stupid-id

If I’d known the su fandom was this stupid I’d have made a straight up critical blog years ago because watching them try to “drag” me is legit the most fun I’ve had in weeks 😂😂😂 I’m just so fucking amused right now. You criticize a show and they have an aneurysm like monkeys during feeding time at the zoo

http://mellowfilmmaker.tumblr.com/post/182363307164/steven-universe-change-your-mind-review

Maybe that’s a bit too harsh, but I’ve had the habit of going too easy on this show (like in hindsight, Familiar should’ve gotten a lower rating from me). Also just based on the impact the episode had on me personally, I cannot rate it any higher. There’s definitely worse stuff out there, but as far as SU is concerned, this is almost as bad as it gets. 

And now, for the coup de grace-

https://lily-orchard.tumblr.com/post/182371331100/i-remember-once-i-was-talking-to-my-best-friend-on

Arguing this is “the only string to critics bow” is to try and pretend as if criticism becomes invalid if it’s repeated enough. But it’s the biggest string to critics’ bow precisely because it is the main, central, thematic problem with Steven Universe. When talking about Steven Universe, it is the biggest problem with the show and no other critical aspect is going to make it better until it’s solved.

No amount of fixing the animation is going to do shit until this gaping, festering, diseased wound is fixed.

https://lily-orchard.tumblr.com/post/182369752565/every-time-i-try-to-raise-awareness-of-how

But the kids deserve better. They don’t deserve this fucking garbage and they shouldn’t be forced to have this garbage just because a few fucking Tumblr Tots want to wrap themselves womb-like in their worship of a moronic, tone deaf shite-hawk like Rebecca Sugar.

Ah Soku-

If you want what’s best for Steven Universe, you need to stop accepting it’s mediocrity. After all, Rebecca Sugar won’t listen otherwise and the quality will plummet still.

After all, the Su crits say the same things as you so surely they’re correct...right?

To all fellow rwde and non rwde who have supported me thus far? Thank you, this has been a wild ride and while we possibly haven’t seen eye to eye I enjoyed and learn alot from watching you over the years, and now I think it’s finally time for the vet to retire and get the chair to new people, I received alot of kind messages from this and they touched my heart, take care rwby critics, it’s been real.

You know, except not an hour later you started your bitchfest again and two days later, stabbed your friend in the back and then tried to justify it.

But if this truly is your last train home, I can take peace knowing you ride home in shame, exposed for the hypocrite you are, forced to see your reflection and made into a complete and total joke.

Enjoy that ride Soku, no one will miss you once someone starts confirming their biases and you’re nothing more than a fart in the wind.

#sokumotanaka

[narcissismechoapologetics]

My late brother’s 40th birthday was this time of year fourteen years ago. He died three years prior to his 40th birthday, allegedly dragged 85 feet down I-35. He was allegedly attempting to cross the interstate on foot (being chased by multiple perpetrators based on my understanding from loved one at that time), drugged undoubtedly, too, when he was allegedly struck by a full size white SUV, traveling southbound in the inside lane, that allegedly struck his in the back with their mirror, allegedly piercing his aorta, killing him instantly, thrusting him to the pavement in the outside lane, where at that very moment a second vehicle was passing the first, running over him, and dragging him 85 feet down the interstate. Some of the news report referenced him as “she” rather than “he,” based on his first legal name, Gail. The following year the freaks (and by “freaks” I do not mean the good kind, or innocent people who are just marching to the beat of a different drum) in Lenexa, Johnson County, Kansas referred to my late brother as “road runner.” Recall the commentary during the drugging and kidnapping on or about May 23, 2104, while holding up a long silver tow chain, “This is the way we usually do it,” received as both a murder confession and a death threat.

In 2016, I requested via U.S Mail and electronically, the unredacted police and coroner’s reports surrounding his death, but have yet to receive any cooperative, legitimate response from Kansas City Missouri Police Department. However, I have received quite a bit of harassment, some quite overt. The report provided were excessively redacted so as to render them useless. The location of impact and death was first stated to be barely inside KCMO jurisdiction from Claycomo, Missouri, at that mile marker, which I no longer know off the top of my head without looking. I wanted to say 10 for example, but was then changed to allegedly being two mile markers further into the KCMO jurisdiction, south on Interstate 35.

The body was taken to Independence, Missouri, and I have been unable to even get a response as to whether that is standard operating procedure, as opposed to Downtown KCMO. A look at the incident with a critical eye could cause it to appear they went around Downtown KCMO, who was initially given every benefit of the doubt. However, based on their behavior since that time, they are no longer given such benefit of the doubt. Recall that I grew up around cops, and have been with a cop or two as an adult, with no prior “attitude.” So, the current disposition has been vigorously earned by multiple jurisdictions in recent years.

This behavior has been articulated in recent years, including being mobbed and threatened on an old deserted country road, in the dark and the cold, by multiple uniformed officers, into an unneeded ambulance for high spectrum gaslighting, forced to St. Luke’s Northland, where medical attention was immediately refused, and a prior mobbing by four white male, (who were out of their jurisdiction, stalking me, I believe it was approximately 2 in the morning upon arrival at Perkin’s where police lied and threatened me with trespassing charges should I return, when the establishment had just invited me the evening prior to plan on every Monday night. When you are #fangrocked out of your home and life, due in the first place to their enduring incompetence and corruption, it is the police who attempt to make certain you also freeze to death, are “taken (the rest of the way) down,” involuntarily committed,  become ill or terminally ill, etc., seriously. When you are stalked out of your home, be it from overt stalking campaigns, or the string of perpetrators who they then try to maneuver you into positions with them having power over you, you are then to exist nowhere quietly and gratefully, according to these lying freaks. The police have absolutely been much worse than just worthless in the situation, but appear to jump up there to “show off” should the freaks get stuck anywhere along the way with their schemes.

Police have not only consistently displayed blatant disregard for the live and health of innocent victims, but vigorously assisted the criminals), under 40 uniformed officers in Gladstone, MO Perkin’s, (Bo worked at the Smokehouse BBQ right next door, in (Gladstone), and lived with us in my townhouse in KCMO clear back in the 1980′s, and was getting lined out, when he went to the hospital due to touching shrimp allegedly. Perpetrators in Lenexa, Johnson County, Kansas and elsewhere this many years later, have referenced him as “shrimp.”) with directed conversation, “You f****d him,” (referencing an alleged drugging and raping video while breaking into our Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas home in 2005, resulting in the freak finding a surrogate for a harvested embryo, drugging, and deceptive adoption, without knowledge, at Stinson, but appearing to be due to slander based on being drugged, when I have never even smoked pot in my entire life, a child I want returned with the rest of the children taken from our bodies by any means, meaning my child and I’s bodies. This maneuver does not in any way appear to be limited to myself, and my child) following by a loud, abusive, disparaging scene outside by three white uniformed Gladstone police officers, one female and two male, also forcing me to St. Luke’s Northland, where medical attention was immediately refused. On the second occasion, it was inquired as to whether they would treat my physical injuries rather than gaslighting me, to which the response was, “no.”

It certainly appears these police departments have perpetrated against me, at least in part, due to their past involvement in unethical or criminal knowledge and/or behavior, including but not limited to myself, my child (also in Gladstone shortly prior to leaving for Slidell in July 2006, with my then toddler grandson) and my late brother, as well as my grandchild, Mercedes potentially, passing from a “rare disease” at the tender age of 23. She was Bo’s firstborn, who lived in Sedalia all of her life, until marrying, moving to KCMO, I believe, then passing, Roberto and Alfi lived in Olathe, Johnson County, Kansas years ago, and Toni (DoES - Daughter of the Eastern Star, and Sunday school teacher at their local church, of course) lived with her first husband Chris Kowolski in Sedalia, where her current in-laws still live to the best of my knowledge, and also in Lenexa and Olathe, Bonner Springs, and worked in North Kansas City, MO, and others, such as numerous concerns about those on America Online in the Kansas City Over 40 Chatroom.

It appears Bo, who intended to become a (true Christian, not a pretender) pastor when he was young, was targeted from the age of 19 until his death at 39 years of age, resulting in no known charges against any aggressor, but at one point at least, was on Kansas City’s Most Wanted himself (based solely on my recollection, primarily due to assault charges, undoubtedly from being provoked, (for example, getting in a fight when with my date, Buzz and I, due to some guy grabbing my behind, while with my date and I, Rod, too, the establishment, The Ol’ Firehouse, apologizing for kicking the three of us out) as I myself in recent years, not being a violent person, and middle aged rather than an outraged teenager or young adult, an outraged middle aged, also injured women (Bo returned from Wichita, Kansas with two dislocated shoulders allegedly from falling between a dock while a volunteer fire fighter, I have serious spinal and other injuries, with commentary that “I heard you have a mean right hook.”) could easily have punched several aggressors in the mouth myself. What appears to have caused this targeting at the age of 19? Bo had the wisdom to see the truth, and the backbone to stand up for it, against an alcoholic pedophile and his enabler, or what may have been more accurately at the time coined his conspirator (and pedophilia, as well as other sexual perversion and violation, appears to be quite the theme in all of this).

Also note this discrediting, and even public disparaging, is something that has even entered my mind regarding prior Kansas City Metropolitan Bar Association President, Werkin’s situation, due to double binds, infuriating, outrageous criminal activity, etc). This appears consistent with knowledge both of Bo’s live, having lived with me six or seven times in our twenties, having gotten Bo out of jail repeatedly, most specifically in Sedalia, Pettis County, Missouri, as well as my own personal experience with law enforcement in recent years, having been a member of the local legal community for half of my life, a KU Law School graduate, mother, grandmother, and lifelong resident of the area.

There have been no known charges against any of aggressors either, but I was the one charged with trespassing, repeatedly jailed for brief periods of time, arrested, not arrested, but taken into custody, handcuffed, my things gone through, publicly disparaged repeatedly during their displays, harassed, threatened (KCMOPD did not want me to “fall and bust my head open,” and if I did not get in the unneeded ambulance, with two more white males, they would physically put me in it). Again, I am completely mentally healthy, even having been told by a licensed therapist, that I am one of the mentally healthiest people she knows, even. (Recall that 23 years ago in 1997, JDK was literally begging me to marry him, while simultaneously telling his psychologist neighbor he was helping some crazy woman, and that he stated he was going to “go talk to Manny (male from India, living in Olathe, Johnson County, Kansas, and business owner, employing teenagers, later including my child at Oak Park Mall, in Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas, openly stating the business was started with money from our government upon moving to the US from India, Lirpaloof (April Fool backwards, he stated at an age approaching 40, was a 15 year old he was in love with) on America Online, Kansas City Over 40 Chatroom), whom he had no legitimate way of even knowing). Manny’s wife, Jay, was experienced as a nice, but exhausted and overworked lady from India, a registered nurse. Around 1999, Manny called me from Manny’s the restaurant in KCMO, stated he had drank too much and needed ride home. I left my child and I’s Lenexa, Johnson County, Kansas apartment at The Crossings, to pick him up, and told him I was going to let him out of the car if he did not stop trying to kiss me. He did, and I took him to his Olathe, Johnson County, Kansas home, he shared with his wife and child. Manny had parties at Manny’s, but only about three people ever showed up to the best of my knowledge, including the quite young at the time, Susan, “Honeyboner,“ on AOL, who has since been suffering from a rare disease, since her teenage years, I believe, now in approximately her late thirties, Sherry’s (some variation of “Trouble” was her screen name, also a registered nurse). Sherry dated Lewis, a self-proclaimed 32rd or 33rd degree Mason and Shriner, approximately 25 years ago, after the death of her husband. Their lives appear to have become a downward spiral over all of these years, as well, last known to be in the God awful City of Gladstone, Missouri, as I recall the house appearing to be such a good deal had a mold issue, as did the house Roberto and Alfi rented from Lewis in Claycomo, MO. Recall that black mold collects is the lungs, and stays there. Mold itself is a little echo, the hackers in 2016 kept changing to “mole” on my articulation. Similarly, years later in approximately 2006/7, Susie, who appeared to be a scapegoated childhood sexual abuse survivor, had to move out of a house full of mold not too far from The Kansas City Funeral Directors, there off of I-635, and I believe it was after that, ended up in a little place behind Overland Park Police Department. She has been signified by perps with her little sports car, the make and model escapes me at the moment, even though I recognize it when presented. Susie stated her abusive father is a Mason.

Then, of course, you have the asbestos situation, the FEMA asbestos trailers, including my children, which includes grandchildren having to move due to all of their belongings being covered in mold, the rental property in Mobile, AL in 2009, while beginning to volunteer at the Mobile Bar Association, regarding mold cases, while renting a room from a black lady in a house filled with black mold, 2009, I believe. The substance crammed down my throat on my own Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas bed, during the 2005 workplace mobbing and multiple perpetrator stalking, while employed at Stinson, with a chest x-ray and medical commentary that my “esophagus” had been “moved over,” hence, they were trying to get it into my lungs, and it appears cause me to chock to death on my own bed, with small roughly squares of it left on my comforter, while passed out drugged, believed to be asbestos, as well as anally inserted during the drugging and kidnapping (not legally defined) on or about May 23, 2014, permanent damage to my colon and rectum resulting, among many other serious injuries. There was also the skull and bones warning sign across the street from Stinson’s Downtown KCMO offices in 2005, warning of asbestos, The Jones Store building had standing water allegedly, etc. The black dust in the ventilation at Westbrooke Glen, a Signature Community, based out of New York City, Art and Linda. Nancy’s Madison suffers from a rare disease, with Nancy stating her ex-husband is a Masonic lawyer. Perpetrators in many instances are murderers, and the police are HELPING them.

As we have repeatedly stated, it is our belief that there should not be found even one secret society or cult member on the police force, not anymore than there should be found a Klansman.

Trespassing Echo: Originated at Shawnee Community Center, by Sylvia, my late friend Evelyn’s daughter, who had an attitude with me from the moment I met her mother, who had given me her (Evelyn) personal cell phone number due to Sylvia lying about her not being there and not letting me talk to her. whom I was concerned about, and finally walked, due to loss of automobile during perpetrator crimes, from Mission to Shawnee, last seeing Evelyn with pink cheeks, looking dazed and confused, shortly prior to her death, with Sylvia stating she was in charge now, not to ever go around her again, and that if I return she will call the police and have me charged with trespassing, 2015. May Evelyn rest in peace. Her absence will undoubtedly be, and has been, severely missed, and her child is certainly no replacement, even with her white male sidekick.

This echo was received by Carew at The Maples in Mission, Johnson County,Kansas, threatening me with calling the police, and calling the police, because I was noticing the plunder truck being gone at all hours, among other things. Two uniformed Mission Police officers responded, one went in to talk to Carew, and the other, believed to be “Mr. Smiley,” took my DL out of my sight (it appears this is a slick little maneuver by some police, too, switching your identification out while requesting it in a series. Then you have the responsibility that also appears to be falling on the average innocent citizen of distinguishing whether the uniformed officer standing in front of you is an imperfect human being trying their best to do their job sincerely, a network, cult, secret society, bought, dishonest, etc., officer, or some psycho allowed to run around in police uniform impersonating an officer, or perhaps an officer in uniform outside their own jurisdiction, or allegedly threatened, even though I have yet to note any body language from a uniformed officer matching that claim, quite the contrary.

Note: One would hope the police signed up for their duty, the average innocent man, woman or child did not.), accused me of “stealing bicycles” (it was so annoying at the time. Does it look to you like I have a bicycle in my back pocket? I have not even owned a bicycle since my twenties. It was a metaphor later translated as preventing childhood sexual abuse, beginning from the fact that on my 9th birthday as a child, I got a lot of presents, including a bicycle (which perps used (bicycles,) to reference childhood sexual abuse, as well as my signification of “blueberry” for male childhood sexual abuse and “strawberry” for female, due to references in the Merriam, Johnson County, Kansas (a city historically known for having many pedophiles) QuikTrip (donuts advertisement, in the FT way (see historic Mission, Johnson County, Kansas McDonald’s commentary regarding pictures on the wall) echo to Dollar General, regarding strawberry), the year the childhood sexual abuse began, conveying a message perpetrators attempted to inflict, regarding self-worth, money, etc. There were not charges at this time, only harassment. Note the sexual predators mangle Scripture to claim, “they don’t judge one another.” Not judging criminal activity puts innocent lives at risk, and is yet another gross misapplication of doctrine, not unlike their using the law against the spirit of the law.

This echo was received by Carew (it was claimed it could have been his brother from Colorado, but Carew himself was snarling at me on the street outside The Maples, firing a ball into his ball glove, playing ball later with a Dollar General employee who had given me the additional 50 cents to purchase cigarettes, not seen since that period of time. Also recall that the large and tall black female in police uniform during the May 23, 2014 ordeal, was of the same build as a then Mission Dollar General employee, laughing the next time she rang up my order in the store, then leaving their employment apparently.) at Mission Hills Country Club, with the orchestrated confrontation, arrest at Stateline Road (Carew reference, the road he claimed in 2005 that he took to work every day), by Prairie Village Police Department, where Toni worked in 1997, followed by the overnight ordeal in the Johnson County, Kansas Jail, previously articulated, occurring May 4, 2016. Stopped by police more in the last five years that the rest of my life combined, “Tom” invariably comes over the police radio, and the police know damn good and well.

This echo bounced to Kansas City International Airport with Kansas City Missouri Police Department, Gladstone Police Department in the Perkin’s that had just invited me to plan on being there every Monday night, lying, and gaslighting.

The three, two being for one occurrence with the officer (one white female and one white male) just throwing the second one at me while in custody for the first one, charges from KCI Airport Police were dropped after about one year of returning to court, also resulting in brief jail time in KCMO, as previously articulated. The average citizen should be alarmed by the state of KCI Airport, including police, janitors, TSA, and employees, the perpetration and directed conversation, with the TSA agents appearing to be both perpetrating, as well as some of them appearing targeted. No Miranda was echoed to the really awful personnel at the Motel 6 in Lenexa (an area Lenexa police told me to stay away from (they do not like it when you are noticing their activities)), in the perpetrating manner of “punishing” victims for defending themselves, etc, first with an employee by that name who claimed some idiotic reason I could not rent a room, (which is in the manner of the FTs, meaning the names or name tags of perps).

This situation has been articulated online for years now, and all of the pages containing the articulation have been hijacked, “gone away” (Google), very much manipulated, but if one has been able to objectively follow the situation it should have been exceedingly clear several years ago now.

#gail #bo #thomas #schrader #obituary #remembrance #kc3lady #kcmo #fangrockers #kelly christensen

[langwrites]

Littermates

Since I went digging through my original work, I managed to find something short and half-decent. Might as well post it, right?

I think the prompt that spawned this was either “puppy pile” or “nightmare” or both? It has been a very long time since I properly checked.

Warnings: Alcohol use, nightmares, panic attacks (?), childhood traumas, some spoilers for things (since in my most recent edition of these characters’ lives, they don’t all know each other yet), and probably a few more I can’t quite put my finger on right now.

He’s always running. Stumbling, blind, through the shadowy forest—in between snatches of amber light and baying hounds. He’ll trip and fall, and they’ll have him again and he can’t go back—

(—az!)

The world seems to twist. Colors—what few there were, in this dark and lonely place—bleed away, taking with them sensation and sound. No, he can't—

(Riyaz, wake up!)

And then there's a hand the unmarred side of his face, cupping his face and drawing a thumb across his cheekbones. He can't see, he can't—and then he blinks and there's a girl there, eyes dark and face flecked orange by dying firelight.

For a long, torturous minute, he has no idea where he is, why he's here. There are faces above his, but he can’t recognize them, can’t think and see past the shadows in his own head—he closes his eyes without realizing it. He's tangled in blankets and he wants to panic because he can't move, but he can't decide when his breath is coming in gasps and his heart pounds in his chest like an execution drumbeat and his thoughts are moving far too fast for his tongue to form any of them into words. There are too many hands, all over; he can't fight that many, already on his back and with his limbs paralyzed, can’t stop them—no!

(Calm down!) And that's—that's not his voice, not even his inner one, and the voice says again, softer, (Calm down. No one here is going to hurt you. I'm going to ask you to take a breath and think, so you can see what's around you and what used to be. Do that for me.)

Riyaz gasps, nearly sobbing, and there's a fierce mutter above his head and some of the hands disappear. After what seems like forever, his breathing slows, interrupted by the occasional hitch that makes him stop and want to cough. He's starting to regain feeling in his limbs enough to know that the only things clinging to him now are the blankets, some of which have been quietly removed—or so it seems, since he no longer feels like he's being strangled by them.

"Gods damn it, give him some room!" Oceanus’s voice snaps, from far closer than makes sense. Riyaz blinks, disoriented, and realizes that at some point he went from lying on the floor to being supported by Oceanus’s leg. A muscle in the other magi's jaw jumps—Oceanus is angry enough to start shouting, though he hasn't yet, and Riyaz wonders why he hasn't done it anyway. Maybe he should get out of his space… "Back the fuck off!"

(Told you,) says the voice, and Riyaz feels the slightest swell of irritation at Lockjaw's unneeded commentary. He isn't sure his Other notices. (Better now?)

He isn't so sure about that.

"Do you know where you are?" Alena asks, and she's sitting next to Tirane on his other side, even as Oceanus snarls at—oh, Khalil and Mitra must have annoyed him somehow—everyone else.

Tirane's eyes are welling up.

"…Yes?" he croaks, and oh he sounds terrible. He feels as though he would be ill, if anything could get him to the tipping point, and there is a sour taste in his mouth. He doesn't think there's anything left in his stomach, though, and dry-heaving sounds like a bad idea.

Alena frowns, clearly thinking of something else already, and Tirane puts a hand on his forehead, expression pinched. He sees Oceanus make an obscene gesture at Khalil while Mitra and Nura are out of the way, and by the sound of laughter he can already tell this will end in a fight.

Oceanus looks down then, and says, "Hey, mind if I move? I need to go kill Khalil’s twin before my leg falls asleep on me."

Riyaz isn't sure why he'd be asked about this, but the lack of protest is apparently taken as permission and he's quickly transferred to Tirane's lap. Then Oceanus runs off, wielding a spare set of blankets like a net, and disappears. The shouting is still audible, but if no one’s is actually dying none of them seems to care.

"You're running a fever, I think," Tirane says into the silence, removing her hand. He looks up at her face, which is shadowed by the tangled mass of red curls falling forward and out of their nighttime braid. She wraps her arms around his neck, like an embrace, and Alena shuffles to his right to dig one of his wrists out of the blankets and take his pulse.

"That wasn't just a fever-dream, though. Was it?" Alena asks.

Riyaz glances down, at the web of overlapping scars along his wrist in her hands, and says, "N-No, not really. It was…more of a memory."

"I thought so," Alena says, distant. Her gray eyes are nearly hidden by her hair, which makes it difficult to see her expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tirane asks after a while, and Riyaz knows as certain as breathing that she's almost as hesitant to say anything as he is. "I heard somewhere, dunno where, that it might help."

He can't do that to her. Can't expose her to the ugliness, and more importantly, won't. Not if he can avoid it.

So, he shakes his head.

They fall into an uncomfortable silence for a moment, occasionally interrupted by the sounds of Oceanus trying to beat someone to death with a beaded pillow. Nura has withdrawn to the safety of her quarters, going by the lack of shouting, and apparently is more interested in seeking a peaceful sleeping space than staying around for another argument. He can't really blame her, and anyway it’s not as though he wouldn’t do the same thing if he could. As if he didn't know what was waiting for him every time he closed his eyes.

One of the lumps of fur near the fire starts to stir as he watches the embers die down. While the black-and-white and tricolor pups have apparently been rendered insensate by the warmth and their exhaustion, the peach-furred blade wolf pup is up and stretches out on a rug, rolling on his back and wriggling around. Then he flips over abruptly, as though suddenly realizing he has an audience, and meanders over to the three of them.

Alena extends a hand, scratching behind his ears as he passes her by, and with a will, the pup climbs into Riyaz's lap. Then he purposefully stretches out to his full length as Tirane removes her arms, neatly usurping her place, and paws at Riyaz's collarbone.

"Well, someone sure has a favorite," Tirane says, ruffling his fur briefly, and Riyaz sits up to untangle his arms so he can give the pup the attention he apparently craves. The puppy whines until Riyaz works his blunt fingernails into the pup's fur, leaning into the touch and pressing his nose into Riyaz's palm whenever he stops.

"You don't have to talk about what happened in the past." Alena says. "Not until you're ready."

Riyaz nods distractedly, thinking even as the puppy gnaws gently on his other hand. There's no reason to rush into things. His head feels like it's stuffed with cloth and his thoughts are dulled, but that's a separate problem. The room is too warm, and he still feels like falling over.

"But you should probably find something to help you sleep better," Tirane says, frowning. "I mean, you're sick right now, which we should still deal with, but…well, does it help to have someone else here?"

Riyaz glances at her, hesitant. "But you were here."

"I was, yeah, but I mean having all of us around," Tirane says. "I mean, I tried waking you up on my own, but it didn't really work and I'm pretty sure I scared the hell out of you trying. So I was thinking, maybe Alena and Oceanus can stick around too?"

Oceanus, who is apparently still busy trying out attempted murder via bedding, gives a shout that echoes through the halls. Riyaz wants to dismiss him out of hand, but it doesn't feel like the right choice despite the other magi's prickliness.

"I'm willing to try it out," Alena says. She looks around and makes a sweeping gesture. "There's lots of room around here, even if we go dig my mattress out of my room."

It didn't sound…bad, exactly. If Riyaz is being honest, and he tries, then even the idea of waking up with other bodies around isn't such a terrifying prospect as another bout of uninterrupted nightmares. And everyone here knew at least a part of what had happened, which meant less time asking for explanations before he could even form words. And he'd seen Oceanus before, in the mornings, looking as heartsick and exhausted as Riyaz felt after nights like this one, and wondering if that was something they shared.

It’s a terrible thought. But it is somewhat calming, despite its ugliness.

"…I'm willing to try," he says.

"Then I'll get the extra things out." Alena rises to her feet. She's gone in a moment, leaving Tirane with him and seeming very awkward indeed. Against his stomach, the pup yawns and noses around to make a nest for himself in Riyaz's lap.

Tirane reaches over, touching his shoulder. He looks back.

"Hey. We'll get through this." She seems so confident that it will be so simple.

He doesn't believe that, but he can believe that she does and will act on it. Maybe that's enough for now.

Oceanus and Alena reappear at the same time, though Oceanus is holding a blanket and a cup of something heavily spiced and steaming and Alena seems to have decided that her entire mattress was to be the guest of honor tonight—Riyaz has never, until this point, realized just how oversized her bed is.

As Oceanus sets the cup down on a nearby table and Alena effortlessly pushes Riyaz out of her way on a sled of blankets, setting her mattress down where he’d been, Tirane gets up and inspects the drink.

“Khalil and Mitra are fine,” Oceanus comments, for no reason Riyaz cares about. He glances at Tirane briefly and adds, louder, “Anyway, this’ll probably help you sleep—just don’t mention to Lumina that we raided her wine cellar.”

“Oh, mulled mead!” Tirane says, clearly pleased. She raises the cup and inhales the steam. “Wow. Lumina doesn’t skimp on the good stuff.”

“I’ll take your word on that. Anyway, Riyaz, it’s for you.” Oceanus neatly plucks the cup from her hand and places it in Riyaz’s, even though his lap is occupied by a puppy.

Alena, by this point, has successfully maneuvered the mattress into place. Even as it’s being conquered by industrious puppies, including the one that had been in Riyaz’s lap, she approaches and kneels in front of him. Though he doesn’t especially feel like being touched at the moment, he doesn’t move as she places her fingertips on his brow and above his heart. “Let’s get rid of that fever first, all right?”

He nods so subtly that he’s fairly sure she can only feel his head move, not see it.

They both inhale at the same moment, and on the exhale he can feel the stifling heat leave him, though he doesn’t feel truly cold. Alena removes her hands and finally completes her own breath—the heat shimmers in the air for the briefest moment before disappearing. Well, now he understands why he’d originally found the idea of so many blankets appealing. It’s not exactly a comfortably cool night.

Then she sits back on her heels, assessing her work, before Oceanus hands Riyaz his apparent warm mead. He’s not sure what else is in it, exactly, but he’s sure he can’t have even come close to affording a number of the components, whatever they were, at any point in his life so far. Then again, most of the people he knows are probably not overly familiar with expensive foreign spices, either.

“…Is that your mattress?” Oceanus asks Alena, while Tirana flops down on it and startles all three of the puppies. They promptly decide to craw all over her, licking and sniffing as though she were one of their other littermates.

“Of course it is,” Alena says, but Riyaz doesn’t pay any of it more attention than that.

Instead, he sips at the strange brew. It’s like tea in that it warms him from the inside out, but he can already feel himself starting to lose what little focus he had. It dulls the pain from his memories, a little, and he’s tired enough that he’s not sure how much of the fatigue he feels is the drink and how much is just him. The room seems oddly warm, but not in any physical sense.

He can almost hear Khalil and Mitra getting into an argument, but he’s sure they’ll sort something out. He’s not exactly sure what would happen if they got into the rest of the wine cellar, but it’s not really his problem, is it?

He finishes the drink despite his misgivings about it in general, though, and his sense of time is probably not at its best by the time Tirane rolls off the mattress and sidles up to him, putting an arm around his hunched shoulders. He looks at her and leans heavily on her somewhat smaller, though more stable, frame. He thinks he might have seen Oceanus do something like it, at some point.

“I think we probably should have made sure he ate something first,” she says with a brief laugh, and he doesn’t protest as she leads him to the mattress with the nest of blankets intact. If she finds anything odd about the way he nudges closer to her when she lies down next to him, eventually nuzzling her collarbone, he doesn’t hear it and she doesn’t shove him away.

Oceanus glances at the wooden cup and flings it into the fire from its forgotten place on the floor, where it burns merrily for a few moments until Riyaz closes his eyes against the flickering light. Then he and Alena gather up another set of covers from somewhere and the next thing Riyaz is aware of is that Oceanus is lying back-to-back with him, a cool, calming presence in the haze of what is probably alcohol dulling his senses. Alena is either opposite Tirane or Oceanus, and he doesn’t open his eyes to check. Khalil hums in the background, whispering with Mitra.

When Riyaz finally falls asleep, he doesn’t dream again.

#Terramir Gang #my ocs #original work #original fiction

[ofiignition-archive]

@toughspirit || continued.

          most people were asleep this late, but alas, these two stay awake, streaming movies together on katsuki’s ( appropriately decorated with skull stickers ) laptop. over the months at yuuei they grew closer, spending time together even after class hours --- but something was different. did he not like the movie? the food? who the fuck eats mashed potatoes this late at night, anyway? this weirdo obviously. but something was just, off. and he didn’t like it, not one bit. 

            ejirou sat upright, while meanwhile the blond was lying down, chin resting atop his arms as he now glares in his direction, nose scrunched up analyzing his best friend. the body language was off, he was too damn quiet. where was the unneeded, annoying movie commentary? where was his best friend? “ --- what the fuck is wrong with you? ” with that bluntness follows a grumble, that soft expression faded as his normal demeanor returns. they didn’t have to watch this movie, but, he felt it was something deeper than the choice of genre. especially when he catches him staring way too long, only confirming his suspicions. he should just flip that damn plate in your face, but he begrudgingly refrains, waiting for the answer. “ yeah i wanna fuckin’ know. whats your problem? ” why was there one? this was their normal routine, hanging out together, so ... why?

             as his mouth opened to yell, demanding answers, it promptly shuts; the other’s calloused hand brushing past his cheek, his rage now silenced by the touch of his lips. even though the movie played on in the background, everything in that moment for him came to a halt. it was so quick, yet it felt like forever, just playing in his mind over and over. right afterwards, his hand comes up to touch his mouth, the sensation lingering long after. wait, hold on. that’s --- that’s ------

            that’s... all he wanted? 

            and as his hand fell, as if on cue, katsuki grabs the other’s palm, holding it firmly. then, the softness returns in those crimson eyes. no words were spoken ( as they all seemed to fail him in that moment ) just quiet as he heard the credits roll to the movie, all of his focus centered on kirishima. “ so --- ” he awkwardly starts, shifting a little closer as he holds onto his hand, opening his palm a little to slip his fingers in with his, closing that gap as digits finally interlock. “ just so w-we’re clear,” there’s a deep inhale heard, some insecurity present, but he buries it as he looks up into his eyes, expression softened as he whispers as quiet as that late night.

          “ are... are y’sure that’s... all ya wanted? ”

#toughspirit #HJIFDSJAD #DORIIII #IM GO NAN SCREAM #HES LIKE: uH #' ARE U SURE ??? WHAT WAS THAT ' #' IS THERE MORE TO THAT ' #SDFGHASDJ