#M rants

[watchyourbuck]

oh I’ve made a mistake 😀

#I just accidentally ate peanuts #I’m allergic to peanuts #my country doesn’t have epi pens and now my friend is desperately trying to contact the paramedics #I’m just sitting here trying to breathe #my entire hands are covered in red spots #my moms gonna kill me #m rants

[babyiamperfectforyou]

I totally embarrassed myself at the airport by asking a man if he was Gordon Ramsay 😭😭😭😭

But in my defence he looked exactly like him🤧

#M rants #lol

[montyblanc]

Y'know I don't normally use tumblr for personal posts, but I feel like getting this out in a place thats not just like, a group chat with 5 people participating would feel better. And less embarrassing. Idk.

I've honestly been questioning my gender quite a bit in the past year. I'm not really that comfy when people refer to me with masculine terms such as "sir" or "handsome" and whatnot. I feel good when I'm called things like "cute" and even "ma'am". Hell, whenever I talk over the phone to strangers, I deliberately use a much more feminine voice (and when it works and they call me "ma'am" I do a little :D). I also talk in a softer, feminine voice whenever I'm interacting with anyone but family. With my family I deliberately use a deeper, more monotone voice.

As a kid, I was, how to put it, fruity as fuck. How people thought I was straight is beyond me. I'd often act all feminine and try to kiss the boys in elementary. I used to get mistaken for my cousin's sister (and absolutely vibed with that and any other time I was thought as a girl) And I'd, very frequently, say stuff like "I wanna be a girl!" and "I don't like being a boy!" Eventually I stopped saying those things and acting that way, but it wasn't something I just simply grew out of. I felt increasingly embarrassed by this behavior (mostly because I felt like I was embarrassing my dad or my mom's various boyfriends) and gradually toned it down until I just stopped outwardly expressing it altogether by the time of Junior High. I also fell down that edgy teen center-right rabbit hole during that time which only made things worse, tho at least I came to terms with my sexuality in that time. It wasn't until post-High School and when I got a job that I started to express that side of me again. Something about interacting with people who didn't know me just made me feel a little more comfortable being myself. Maybe it's because I felt I wouldn't be embarrassing anyone, or maybe it's because there was a clean slate that I didn't have before. Either way, in the past year (little over a year), I reconnected more with that part of me I had been embarrassed of. And it feels great.

But it also makes me feel weird. I always kinda told myself I grew out of the whole "I wanna be girl/don't wanna be a boy" thing and that was just me being an unrealized gay little fruit loop. But the more I interact with people, the more I realized that I didn't grow out of it, I just suppressed it. I like when people don't acknowledge me as a boy, and I like when people perceive me in a feminine way (Whenever I had an instance of being seen as a girl or feminine, I'd often tell my friends but play it off as "Oh that was stupid but funny" as a way to sorta mask that I liked it). I don't like presenting as very masculine, my body hair (which is something I always dreaded having) makes me uncomfortable to the point where I shave daily just so no one notices any stubble starting to grow back the next day (I have started holding myself back and shaving every other day, and I dont shave on days where I don't go out. Still feels bleh to have, but at least not many people are seeing it).

In theory, I was right as a kid. I want to be a girl. But the truth is, I don't want that. As much as I dread my more masculine traits, I don't really really want all the feminine traits. And yet, it puts me in a tough spot mentally. What DO I want for myself? I don't fully vibe with boy and I don't vibe at all with girl. Perhaps I'm some flavor of non-binary?

To me, the idea of being multiple or no gender is fascinating. Something about seeing people and characters who are just outside the gender binary fills me with this sense of comfort and envy. It's a little hard to describe why I feel that way, but I do.

I've also been trying different pronouns among certain friends and spaces. She/Her isn't really a set I vibe with, I personally feel it makes me come across as girl (yes, ik pronouns don't equal gender but they mean different things to different people). I've always been He/Him so it's just kinda engraved into me and I don't really have qualms with it. But They/Them? Oh I like that, I prefer it over He/Him a lot. Something about being called "They" and not "He" feels good. Like it conveys what I want for myself, even when I'm not entirely sure what that is.

But part of me also feels like I'm wrong in seeing the potential of non-binary. Like maybe I'm just trying to make myself more like people and characters I admire, or I'm too much of a boy to *really* be non-binary (and yes ik this is hypocritical when I reblog stuff that validates various flavors of non-binary but dammit it's still a hard feeling to shake). And I'm also worried about being told I'm wrong and just confused or don't know what I want, like quite a few people in my life have me believe (which I could go into a seperate rant over but that'd be. Long.) And I'm scared of disapproval and not being enough.

So in the end I just feel like a mess. I'm boy but I'm really not, also stop calling me boy, but also I am still boy and that feels safe. I'm definitely not a girl. I'm too much of a coward to try non-binary among folks but it also has an allure. I have tried the label of demiboy among some folks, and while it kinda feels right, it also doesn't, so I stopped really using it personally. Again, hard to explain that one.

So yeah, I guess rant over. Typing this out felt like a bit of weight off my chest. Maybe I'll find the answer to myself soon, maybe I still have some discovery left. Maybe I'm just denying what's in my face. Either way, I just wanted to get this out there and I did. Woo.

Hope you enjoyed the color of the sky right here.

#m rants #questioning #minimal tags bc i dont want too much rando traction #but i'll add questioning because it feels right

[devilish-mirage]

Guess who just got back from her trip?

This girl right here.

I'm so tired it's not even a joke anymore. My whole body hurts, especially my feet.

I'm also very much sleepy, I'm typing this with my eyes almost closed- anw I'm sorry lovelies because I can't get back to any of you right now.

I'll be answering dm's, mentions and comments as soon as i wake up since idk if I can wake up early tmr.

Until then I'm gonna get my beauty sleep, have a wonderful day/night everybody!!!

#m rants

[weiwx]

don't get me wrong the l word's never been any good to begin with we all just watched it because a show abt Almost Only Lesbians Mostly LGBTQ+ Characters was groundbreaking at the time (even tho when it was airing i was really young and had no business watching it lmao and all the *vaguely points at all the issues that show has*) for many of us and also katherine moenning right so i wasn't expecting anything from generation q but i thought maybe just maybe they would actually give shane some depth now because she's such a good character to study like don't even give her growth or a redemption arc or whatever i've seen people asking for she can keep being a serial cheater but she's so interesting and they just keep writing the same shitty scripts and don't even get me started on the new characters lmao having said that will i stop watching this show? nah i'm hoping to see carmen appear magically somehow also im only abt to finish season one but for what i've read it doesn't get any better welp

#m rants #the l word

[consultingreaders]

I don’t understand why we are pretending to have patience for people with tickets to multiple Taylor Swift dates in the US. Or sympathy for people begging other people for tickets to a second show. You got yours, and many many many fans did not, shut the fuck up? 

#so grumpy so salty #m rants #taylor swift #the eras tour #this is not a music industry blog

[eristottle]

Phrases like ACAB are extremely dehumanising and encourage needless violence. Killing cops is still murder and is not justified. We should replace the call to "abolish and defund" with a call for reform. And burning it all down is NOT a viable soloution. But i don't think ya'll are ready for that conversation yet.

#politics #political #leftist extremism #police should be reformed heavily but how the fuck do you intend to function without it #M rants

[lovethistoomuch]

I've been on a bit ob a Russell Crowe movie binge in the past few weeks and since he is almost sixty now, many of the movies I've watched were consequently older movies. and when I watched them, it struck me again, how much hollywood has changed in the last few decades when it comes to depicting men.

take Gladiator for example from the year 2000. Russell Crowe plays basically an action hero in it. he is a big, muscly dude, who is very strong and uses that strength to defeat his enemies. and this is what he looks like:

looks like a strong man, right?

in the same year, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine looked like this in the first X-men movie:

in 2013 the same character played by the same actor looked like this:

it's a bit much, isn't it? I mean, he looks so skinny.

and if we go even further back: look at what the womanizer character Face from the A-team looked like in the 80s show vs the 2010 movie reboot:

maybe the difference isn't that big but it really startled me when I watched that movie for the first time. in my mind there was no reason why Face should be particularly muscular since he is the charming one not the one known for being particularly strong.

if we go even further back, look at the charmin womanizer character Hawkeye in M*A*S*H from the 70's.

I know he's a doctor and there is no reason for him to be ripped but I got the feeling if they did the show now, he would be.

I don't know what my point really is I'm just saying I got a bit nostalgic when watching these men. I cannot be the only one who'd rather see more of this:

than this:

also, as a sidenote: Russell Crowe gained a lot of weight for the nice guys and he is a fucking powerhouse in that film, like, when he punches someone, you really feel it because of the weight that is behind it and the shere mass of his body.

(even if this may look different, he's about to break Ryan Gosling's character's arm. I couldn't find a gif of him punching someone but I swear it looks painfull as hell.)

so, in short: can we get big, heavy action guys back? cause I'm tired of seeing these skinny, despite being muscular dudes who look dehydrated as hell and on steroids.

and can we stop making characters ripped just for the sake of it? cause I'd rather cuddle with a guy looking like Hawkeye than one looking like Face from the new A-team movie.

#sorry for all the shritless men #they needed to be to make my point #I know there have always been ripped action guys #but it feels so much more common place now #and sometimes for no reason #this has been on my mind for a while #so sorry for the long post #men in movies #gladiator #wolverine #a-team #m*a*s*h #master and commander #thor #the nice guys #russell crowe #don't know if i should tag the movies/shows #but oh well #rant #long post #hollywood

[mothinflamesdoodles]

#finished Pluto and I’m like just ranting about it to my pals #doodle #fanart #art #illustration #artists on tumblr #digital art #pluto manga #pluto #naoki urasawa's pluto #pluto anime #atom #astro boy #atom Pluto #naoki urasawa #kids got several life times worth of trauma and lovely memories in his noggin and m like dang :’) #pluto netflix #netflix #robots

[agents-are-dicks]

Personal rant. Scroll or stop and read I don’t care.

I need to see both a dermatologist and an allergist for some skin issues I’m having and of course bc I live in the u.s, I have to go see my primary care physician so that she can refer me to someone bc my insurance has to make sure they’re not paying for an unnecessary visit. and ya know what? I’d be fine with that except, what’s that? My nosy mother has just decided to give herself access to my medical information despite me being 18+ and never giving her permission to do so (much like with my bank account). I keep a lot of things from her bc I know she’ll find a way to use them to insult and belittle me, my medical information (like weight and period) included. I could tell her I don’t want her having access but then she’ll get pissed and throw a fit and I’ll have to deal with it everyday until I die. I could just lie to my doctor but then she’ll want more tests done (I probably need them tbh). So the only solution is to lose 20+lbs and then hope we can avoid the topic of my period bc my mother doesn’t think I’ve had one for 6+ years bc I know she’ll accuse me of being on my period anytime I have any form of emotion and I don’t wanna put up with that. Maybe my skin can just suffer idk. I mean I still have one kind of soap I can use without my skin breaking out and sure my rosaceas been so bad lately everything triggers it and my face gets so hot my eyes water but I mean, I’ll live. Not that I’d complain if I didn’t tho

#m rants

[babyiamperfectforyou]

Screwed up most of my semester exams but at least it's over 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

#m rants #g has exams coming up soon 🤧 #why is this so hard #😭😭😭😭

[thecaptainsarcasm]

Introducing my brain rot to a friend like

#remie's rants #m*a*s*h #mash 4077 #bj hunnicutt

[montyblanc]

I love how 70% of Persona 4 posts on tumblr are just people showing they didn't understand Persona 4 at all

#persona 4 #persona 4 golden #m rants

[devilish-mirage]

Life update!

I gotta go on a mini 4days trip and the signal there is bad bad so I can't be that active in those few days, it'll sucks but don't miss me too much now bcs I'll be back before you guys knows it! <3

#m rants

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

#love how they manipulated people into spreading that post by making it seem like a cishet vs gay thing #when the real message is OP thinks trying to sell your writing is cringe and 'weird' and 'normal people' with jobs would never #which would of course never have flown on the fandom website #so they played into the queer shipping is purer than cishet shipping puriteen thing #and it worked! #because my god people are gullible #this is the direct pipeline that leads to AI thievery #''normal' people write for the joy of it anyway so why do you need pay? you are just greedy and 'weird'!' #'oh no this isn't about who we get to call cringe and who gets to profit from art it's about um... #(quick what's a hated m/f ship?).. oh uh 'shitty' REYLO #and not our super pure uh... (spirk is still popular right? lets throw in that avengers one too to make it seem timely) stucky!' #I'm sorry if I have no sense of humor about this but the year is 2024 and people are still way too ready to sneer #about writers trying to earn a fucking living in the shittiest timeline #and i need you to look deep into yourself and ask you why it's so important to you to tell yourself that only people writing what you like #are 'normal' with real jobs and to vilify everyone else as 'weird' and 'shitty' #for trying to make an income during a financial fucking crisis #i would say sorry for ranting about this but I'm not sorry because wtf #write whatever you want #publish whatever you want #there is no moral fucking purity in what the content is #and one thing certainly doesn't make you more 'weird' or 'normal' than the other #like there is soooo much shitty mlm that started as fanfic??? #that post is 100% OP made up some guys to get mad about and called them relyos for the clicks #writing #publishing #writblr #writeblr #i wasn't going to tag this anything but you know what fuck it I'm mad #i had like 5 more tags but tumblr cut me off which is fair 😅 #fan fiction

[consultingreaders]

My dearest, saltiest secret wish is to grab all the mediocre contemporary writers who hit the List this year, shove them in front of AO3, and make them read top fics until they can write a gd sentence.

#books #publishing #m rants #I have read so many mediocre books this year #why are you even here if you only know how to make overblown stakes #I have spent my 20s reading EGT Ariaste agp12 xiaq need i go on #truly an emperor has no clothes situation #I know good writing and y’all don’t have it