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#MAYBE IT'S SELFISH OR NARCISSISTIC
menheraboypussy · 1 month
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I am an insane attention whore. I dislike tumblr's reblog system cause sometimes your post is at the bottom of a reblog chain.
I hate that shit. I want my shit to be on top to bother OP or at least people see my shit over others 😡💢💢💢😡.
Anyone else feel this way?
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clownaura · 7 months
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i know that narcissistic behavior is bad and that narcissistic people can be bad people, and i know that people can have narcissistic tendencies and not have narcissistic personality disorder, but wow there’s been a lot of people calling narcissists straight up evil? and it feels weird to me
like my mom has narcissistic tendencies, but she is in no way evil..even if she’s aware of what she’s doing. i feel this way even after she’s manipulated me and hijacked my plans in the past (and processed it all)
maybe it’s a misunderstanding of mental illness? either way it just rubs me the wrong way how so many people are so quick to label people evil without understanding…
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wild how the more i'm working on recovery. the more i realize how fucking bad i miss her.
#which still feels kind of insane and embarrassing since i didn't technically know her myself#(my alter did. i however barely interacted with her.)#but she knew me. she fucking knew me and saw me. i've talked about this in earlier posts but that's still the main thing that hits me.#i feel like nobody else has ever ever known me like she has. i've never felt that seen. and she loved me. she cared about me. she knew what#was underlying my outwards appearance and behaviors. she saw it and loved and cared for it. and because she knew it so well she didn't take#anything personally. (again. not douchey behaviors. just like... bragging for example. or being guarded. idk)#also there's so many things we relate on? felt like i could connect with her better. i think she and i would have been friends.#i dont know it's just#with everyone else it feels like a fucking obligatory social game i need to navigate#say the right things. act in the right ways. present yourself in ways they'll understand and interpret well. blah blah#i'm not even going anywhere with this i just miss her so bad and i'm fucking lonely and want to be seen like that again but i don't think#it can ever happen. because i got to be 100% myself but it was in a safe way and that's how she grew to know and love me#but it wasn't ME who made that decision to be vulnerable. and it was through a specific way that can't be done again because i'm here now a#an alter so it's guarded. and i can't be selfish and demanding and fully myself here because system morals are too strong for that.#even if the aforementioned thing COULD happen again. i haven't seen anyone who cares and understands and sees so deeply like she does.#it's just#i don't know#i just want to be myself and loved and seen for who i am.#but instead it always just feels like i'm having to navigate and manage social expectations and That's It.#maybe i just need to be friends with another narcissist. so i dont have to fucking mask anymore. only concern is if i'm actually being#myself - i have a high pitched voice and talk fast and talk a lot and am kinda obnoxious and high energy and#attention-seeking and dislike being alone and. yeah. that's annoying to the majority of people. which is why i am Not myself around anyone
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snekdood · 2 months
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kind of wild the way ppl who pretend to care about ppl with npd keep calling them "narcissists" rather than someone w/ npd. as if "narcissist is their default state of being. lol. lmao.
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justasadboi · 4 months
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Lately I’ve been really bad with my self destructive tendencies. Whether it be actually hurting myself or just not taking care of myself. And I know it’s just the holidays because I feel like this shit happens every like six months. It always makes me question if this is like a moment where my body knows something is wrong like an anniversary of bad shit or what but every couples of months I just completely fucking lose it. Idk what to do about it or how to help myself, idk if I even really want to help myself anymore. I feel like such a horrible person all the time and some of it is because of past choices and experiences but another part of it is just me right now and how I choose to react to things and handle certain situations im put into. I feel like it will never change because no matter how hard I try have tried im still the same mean person. I don’t think that person is particularly worth fighting for. Nothing ever really feels worth sticking around for. I have this belief that I’m just not that important to anyone that their whole world would be ruined if I was gone like obviously they wouldn’t just be fine the next day but they definitely wouldn’t like destroy their whole lives over me and I just can’t imagine why I’m stuck in this never ending suffering when the consequences of my actions wouldn’t totally ruin someone else
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grouse769402 · 9 months
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oh man I am being so stupid right now I don't know if it's because I'm on my period or what
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derelictwreck · 1 year
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maybe a key component in my general issues is that i’m too passive. that i don’t see the things i’d like to because i’m not the one putting the effort out or expressing anything. i mean it’s not like i didn’t try. i send out lines and wait. and wait. and wait. and fucking wait for bites, and maybe i put too much faith in people’s memory. too much faith that they’d be honest and up front with me if they weren’t interested. so i sit around and i fucking wait in silence and get nothing and now i’m wondering why i ever try anything to begin with.
maybe i’m too laid back. too nice. gods it’s fucking incredible how kind i am, with the anger that festers in my lungs. do you understand how badly i want to yell? i’m so sure it would help me. so sure it would expel the anger i am breathing. there’s a clamp on my throat, though. it’s made of anxiety. made of love. made of a determination to break the cycle. he yelled. i won’t do that to someone else. most of all i don’t want to draw attention to myself.
so i sit and i wait in silence and i feel twelve again. i’ve been here before.
did i ever really leave?
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spiritseeeker · 2 months
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This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-
Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.
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As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.
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And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.
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But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.
For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).
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So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.
But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.
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Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.
She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.
Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.
Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.
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We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.
Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.
And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.
(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)
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Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."
And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?
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suguru-getos · 1 year
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yandere genshin characters x punishments (gn! reader)
warnings: yandere themes, mdni, mentions of emotional, sexual abuse, isolation, manipulation, degradation.
a/n: feeling dark sorta way 😈
characters included: scaramouche, ayato, diluc,
scaramouche: things with him range from getting minor chidding for being mouthy to a full blown rage fest. he is scared of hurting you physically knowing the intense power he holds. plus— it isn’t very good to hurt the people we love; right? all he wants is to protect you. keep you safe and sound. not his problem that you can’t understand what’s truly, undeniably good for you. uses isolation as his weapon. you would be locked in, spoiled with your favorite food, on time. but you aren’t allowed to see anyone, not even him… one week in & you are already vulnerable & folded. the silence is tearing your eardrums apart. there is nothing you miss more than to be held by scara. to talk to him…. to be with him & listen to him spoil you. so the next morning when he comes to you with food, you break down. big fat tears rolling through your cheeks as you hug him, shoulders dropped low and anxiety folding you. “please— kuni, please don’t leave me alone, i don’t like this,” the break in your voice almost breaks his heart. but he knows you need to learn your lessons. and sometimes, not in the most desired of ways. “good little angel, sssh~” he cooes, kissing your forehead. “but i want to really, really know if you mean your words. let’s make it another two days hm?” the look of betrayal in your eyes is soon swiped away, when he leans in and kisses you softly, but his will & decision unshakable. maybe after another two days, you will understand how much, you are lucky enough to have someone like him tend to you, always.
ayato: ayato has two sides, one that is ever so gentle, kind, tolerant to your antics. the other… is the side that you never want to see; the spoiled, belittling brat side to him. “surely you must know by now why exactly you are treated like a whore?” ayato mused, watching your naked sex stuffed with a dildo that was of his size. “do you even deserve to be touched by me rather?” he sits in front of you, it’s been literal hours you have been forced to cockwarm the toy. tears prickling into your eyes, you whine out & bite your lip. all of this because you decided to tell ayato that he isn’t deserving of you, that you’d rather be a slut to any man that be his lover. because ayato is selfish, self-centered & narcissistic. and you— almost had enough of it. ‘almost’ until you saw this side of him. the side drenched with cruelty and mania. “yato-“ you cried out, “uh uh uh? what did you say?” you immediately flinched at that statement, correcting your words, “waka sama- i’m sorry, i’m sorry— please!” it felt a little too overwhelming, overbearing, with how he sat next to you, tending to his official matters until he decided it was time to take a break. you almost forgot that ayato loves you, sickeningly, disgustingly but he does… feeling smaller, and smaller. almost insignificant in front of his wrath. “i’m sorry—” you managed to mumble one more time, knowing completely well it was not what he wanted to hear. “i will never go to anybody else,” that got you a change of his look. he was looking at you with softened eyes, almost reconsidering his idea of punishing you any further. scoffing at your statement, his gloved hands removed the toy from your drooling sex, kissing it softly. “good little thing,”
diluc: the wine tycoon of monstadt was already intimidating to everyone. coursing fear and respect through everyone’s veins whether they wanted it or not. all you had to do, to feel the same anxiety from his otherwise warm presence was to go out of dawn winery, and get yourself surrounded by cryo slimes. why would you never understand that you. are not. allowed. to step. the fuck out? diluc didn’t talk to you, he didn’t want to hurt his angel by words, or by actions after he safely protected you. but his aloofness was killing you already. truth be told, diluc was a soft yandere, and you dearly, dearly loved him. leaving you be by your rooms, working his job as the dark knight. and coming back to sleep in a bed that is different from yours was enough to carve little pieces of your heart out into the abyss. you loved him, and you wanted to be loved. the silent treatment was not helping— despite you waking up early and waiting long in the nights to get a chance to talk to him. it just wasn’t working. diluc was not happy… until one day you just couldn’t take it, your silent sobs echoed through his room when he came home one night. immediately rushing towards you and hugging you tenderly. “hey hey hey— why are you crying?” diluc softly cooed, kissing your tears away. “hey- listen, i-” before he could complete, your whines escaped, sounding complaint-laced. “you don’t wanna even talk to me these days! i will never talk to you either fuckkk you!” you were angry at him, but you were leaning into his soft touch. “i love you, i’m sorry— i just, got scared okay? scared that my paranoia might hurt you and became distant..” the whole night, you and diluc got comfortable by sharing silences and sentences that you both needed to hear.
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tarotwithavi · 10 months
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Blessings coming to you in the next 30 days
1. 2.
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3. 4.
HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE?
Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Kindly ask your spirit guides to show you the right pile for yourself and then open your eyes. Whichever pile catches your attention is the right pile for you.
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Pile 1
I feel like most of you guys like to stay at home rather than going out and the blessing coming for you in the next 30 months is that you are going to step out of your comfort zone of your home and have a really exciting time with your friends. You guys will create a lot of memories together in the next 30 days, these are lifelong memories. I am also getting that you might be thinking of starting a new project or a business with your friends or you might be thinking of starting a business by yourself and I see that in the next 30 days this wish of yours is going to come true I see your business idea coming to life. Another blessing I am seeing for you is that you are going to get a proposal for someone and this proposal is going to be really important for you in the future. I also see that this person could be the one who could help you in expanding your business or extending your knowledge about business. I also see that you might be avoiding someone or you might notice that someone is looking at you from afar. This could be a secret admirer and I see that this person is a fire sign. You guys can meet at a place or you guys mostly meet at a place where you sit for most of the time for example school or work or even Church. For those who are students,I see that you are going to get recognition from your teachers and also your classmates. I see that your teacher and your classmates are going to recognise you for your knowledge. If you are learning a new language right now I see that someone whose native language is the language you are learning could compliment you. I also see you topping all of your tests.
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Pile 2
Alright so I see that some of you are trying to manifest a peaceful time by yourself, you might live in a very busy City or maybe it's because you need some peaceful time away from all those people because I see that you are really hurt. so I see you are going to have a really peaceful time by yourself. I am also getting that if you have been struggling financially over the past few months I see that a new opportunity regarding finances is going to come to you. If you feel like you have been left alone in the cold by the people you loved the most then this is also a blessing in disguise for you because I see that you will learn a lot from this lesson and this lesson is really going to help you in the future where you will encounter a lot of selfish and narcissist people. I also see a new opportunity in love. This could also mean that you are falling in love with yourself or you're starting to romanticize your life as you should and this could invoke passion within you to try new things. I also see you learning a new skill that will help you financially or that will give you a passive income. I also see that your intuition and psychic abilities are going to be at blast for the next 30 days and you might get visions of your future. So this is also a blessing for you. I see you being more accepting and loving of yourself. I see you taking good care of yourself and all the self love and self care will give you the huge glow up of your life and I am also getting that some of you might be watching thewizardliz. So a lot of blessings for you. I see you having a queen/king mentality like you are not letting other people walk over here in fact you are not even letting them in your circle like not even the radius of a meter.
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Pile 3
Alright Pile 3 I am getting that you guys have been doing serious shadow work and I see all of your hard work paying off because all the things you wanted to manifest are going to come to you at the speed of light. Another message I am picking up on is that all your manifestations are going to come so fast and so suddenly that it might shock you for a moment. If you were seeking monetary help from someone and that person didn't help you then it's great for you because I see another person helping you and this person is a lot better than the previous one. Also I see that your family is going to be really happy for something. I see that someone from your family is going to have a promotion or some really good news regarding finances and property. If your family was fighting against someone then the results are going to be in your favor. I see your family winning. You and your family could even travel somewhere or could plan a short trip that will heal most of your family members. I see that this is going to be a huge trip like all of your relatives going to get together at one place and all are going to heal together. Also I see that you are going to know your family Heritage better if you have lived away from your hometown most of your life then you could travel there to know more about your culture in the next 30 days and this is going to be a blessing for you because if you know where you belong to you star to understand yourself better.
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Pile 4
So I see that some of you have been manifesting a rich boyfriend and congrats to you because your wish or your manifestation is going to come true however you will need to make a choice at that moment and the choice was determine your future for example tho you want to manifest a romantic relationship you also wanted to manifest a nice paying job and both of your manifestations are going to come at the same time and you will have to choose one of them for some reason and this is how your choice was determine your future. I also see that some of you may encounter very manipulative people in your life and I see that you have been looking up at psychology facts so you will know that this person is trying to manipulate you so all the time spent watching those psychology facts will pay off. Another message I am picking up on is that if your parents never allowed you to have piercings or certain piercings then they could allow you to get those piercings or you would get them anyways and honestly I am getting that those piercings will look fabulous on you. Some of you may even adopt a new pet or you feel like this pet was meant for you because of the circumstances. This pet is going to be a huge blessing for you. If you practice witchcraft or if you have done a spell then look forward to good news because your spell is working.
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Birthday sale
Pardon me if you see any typos. I have rechecked it but if you see that one typo my eyes failed to catch then kindly inform me. Thank you very much.
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thelikesoffinn · 4 months
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Bro why do u hate ascended Asterion so much? He's still asterion
Would you believe me if I told you that I actually don't hate ascended Astarion? Because I really don't!
Now, do I think it's a sad ending? Yes, yes I do. But do I hate it? Absolutely not.
Quite the opposite, actually. I do like the ascended ending for what it is - the bad ending. It's really really well written and I do enjoy it in it's own special way. What I don't like, however, is the attitude a lot of people face it with.
This entire 'ascension is the best ending for him' and 'it's the right choice for him, even if it isn't good'. 'not letting him ascend is selfish because that is what he wants!', 'he still loves you after ascension' and 'he's still the same, just strong' is what I dislike.
Like, if you're into that ending and you prefer it for some reason, that's totally cool, but claiming this is the best ending for him? Damn, that hurts my heart and my soul.
Why I can't even say. Maybe it's because of who I am - both a social worker and a child raised by abusive, narcissistic parents - but to me it's glaringly obvious what ascension will cost him. It's so clear what he is giving up and WHY he is giving it up because, in my own way, I've been there myself. And I've worked with people who've been there as well. (Less murderous, obviously, but equally as self-destructive!)
And because I've been there - on both sides, his and Tav's - I know that none of that will be necessary if there's one person next to him that says 'Hey. Astarion, I know you're hurting but...you don't need to run and hide anymore. You're free and...you're enough.'
So everytime someone claims that ascension is the best ending for him, that it's his good ending and that not letting him ascend is the selfish thing to do, oh boy. It really grinds my gears!
But, in the end, I don't hate the ascended ending at all.
If we're talking companion-endings that I hate, I'd personally propose Karlach choosing death, actually! Because that? That's just unnecessarily dumb.
I know she doesn't want to go back and I know why, I really do, but the thing is...It won't be like before. Things have already changed and they will keep on changing from now on. She's a different Karlach already, so the change is unavoidable! I mean, she's not working for Zariel anymore and, even more importantly: She won't be alone! She has friends now, actual friends that would definitely accompany her if she asked them to. Shit, Wyll even offers it up on his own without being asked! She can come back to the surface from time to time, because it seems like her heart can take periods outside of Avernus as long as she returns once it get's bad. Like, shit, make the House of Hope your homebase, girl! Granted, Hope is a bit ditzy but I'm sure she'll be a joy to be around! And it doesn't even need to be forever! Like, come on, we're already trying to make sure that a fucking vampire can walk in the sun without the use of a tadpole or ascension, I'm sure we can all pencil in 'find a new heart for babygirl' or whatever. And there's Dammon!!! Dammon is smart and talented and unnecessarily handsome and lovable, so he'll surely find a way to fix that darn engine as long as she's alive!
So yeah, that's an ending I actually do hate! Maybe because it feels like conversations I have with clients all the time - scared people and people with trauma can be so extremely stubborn, believe it or not - so it just hits a nerve, haha.
(Oh and I also hate Lae'zel's ascension. The girl is so smart and still doesn't notice how full of shit Vlaakith is? Nah, that's just heresy, I won't accept that one. I know loyalty and morals are a thing, but still no. Blegh.)
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snekdood · 9 months
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like i really dont think ya understand the severity of the abuse- even aside from the sexual abuse-
i have bpd and come from a home where im not validated very well (obviously, bc thats what makes ppl bpd in the first place). i meet this person who validates me in every way i could possibly imagine or want (love bombing). they pretend to like me so much that they start to become like me and pick up traits of mine they like the most. they know they have a hold over me and power over me bc i didnt know how to validate myself and they were the only source of validation i had. so then they go ahead and start invalidating me and acting like im less of me and theyre somehow more of me. i knew who i was deep down but suddenly i felt unseen again and silenced and pushed into a corner. and then they act like im a horrible person (discarding phase) and serve me an entirely different version of me thats not who i am, but bc i didnt know how to validate myself and was reliant on them (something thats particularly important for this type of abuse to work), it made me question myself and who i was and what i was like and what my intentions were and what my actions were and if i could even trust my own reality all over again when i really didn’t fucking need to since i knew who i was deep down, but they somehow convinced me they knew me better. because i was reliant on them. i dont think you understand how much that fucks with you.
#vent#this is why i kind of find it hard not to cling to the term 'narcissistic abuse' since this is verbatim what happens in that type of abuse.#based on everything ive read.#again. i dont personally think it necessarily has anything to do w ppl with npd. narcissism as a term existed before the diagnosis.#it means someone whos selfish and only looks out for themselves and will do anything for themselves even at the expense of others.#and literally EVERYTHING ELSE people online have said about this type of abuse happened.#the smear campaign. the sending people after me to stalk me and get info out of me. the apparently never leaving me alone as evidenced#by that anon recently.#oh and- cant forget accusing me of everything they did but 10x worse somehow.#if a certain type of abuse can be predicted so well and so many people have had the same experience or similar enough experiences#i dont see why it doesnt deserve its own term. we just have to divorce it from the idea of npd. maybe give it a different name.#because its really not *just* emotional abuse. sorry.#its so much more than that and so much more strategic.#and this is why even though i didnt think of them as being exactly like zero before i still thought of them as being vampiric.#bc they tried to drain me of my energy and who i was.#but nowadays i can really see the similarities. if only they were rich and had institutional power and paid politicans to oppress#minorities. then theyd be the same person. but im not gonna sit here and pretend thats the case. they're similar to him in so many ways but#theyre not the same person. im obviously able to fucking recognize that.#in spite of them pretending like i cant.#now if that ends up secretly being the case... well....#might be harder for me to divorce them from being similar lmao.#but so far i dont have enough evidence to confidently say that.
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perictione00 · 7 months
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Selfish
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Ch 2: Confession
Pairing: Geto Suguru x reader
Warnings: MDNI, smut, fluff, pining, teenage angst.
Synopsis: You left the Jujutsu World behind the moment the source of your warmth turned cold. So what happens when you come face to face with that one episode in your life that you wanted to obliterate? Simple, you reap what you sow.
Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Ch 1
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2006
On your first meeting with Gojo Satoru, you concluded that he was an arrogant, spoiled brat who was gifted with good looks and godlike powers. Fortunately, with him came the heavenly two: Shoko and Geto, who aligned with the normal spectrum of human emotions in your eyes, unlike the borderline narcissist called Gojo. Maybe you were biased, but at least those two didn't call you weak when you introduced yourself. It was not difficult to get along with all of them, so in no time, you grew close to everyone. You spent a lot of time with Yaga, who was trying to decipher your cursed technique, which he believed was something akin to Geto's, and that brought about daily practice sessions with your then crush.
Geto Suguru was nearly perfect in all senses, always on the morally correct side. His desire to protect everyone, his unique approach to the whole teaching situation, and his method of training added more to his already mesmerizing persona in your mind. You trained with him every single day after classes, had hour-long conversations about the most stray subjects while trading vintage cassette tapes, and feasted on any peculiar but palatable dish you came across. Regarding your slow growth, his patience with you bore fruit the day you stumbled upon an unfavorable breakthrough. You fainted halfway through combat, yet your body swerved every additional attack coming your way with some foreign cursed energy. He conducted certain actions that might trigger this behavior again, only to discover that you shared some sort of symbiotic relationship with an entity that resided within your subconscious. He surmised that it didn't possess you; instead, it protected you, the host, for mutually gainful results. It wasn't dangerous by nature. Geto tried exorcising it but gave up due to its unpredictable nature while secretly informing Yaga about it.
_______
After your lucrative performance in the Yamanashi Prefecture assignment, you were bombarded with numerous missions, sometimes assisting Haibara or Nanami, keeping you busy enough to miss out on your lessons with Geto. So naturally, Geto found himself gravitating towards you when he saw your bruised form coming out of the infirmary. "Missed me?", Geto asked, leaning on the infirmary door.
"You wish", you replied with a playful smile.
"Ouch... can't recall your Romeo already, I see". Now that is awful because that's the thing about Geto; he says stuff like this so casually, and it hurts knowing well the platonic character of your relationship. You feel terrible for not being a truly faithful friend. However, you have almost made peace with it over the span of 4 months, striving to get it through your head that dating is not the most significant experience of teenage life; maybe it's friendship, and it's okay to accept that some people are just way out of your league. These were the constant subliminal messages going around in your head.
"Yeah, found a new one. Hello husband", you retorted as Nanami entered the scene, and in true Nanami fashion, he took his time to understand that the remark was meant for him.
"So it was a head injury, I presume", Nanami said with a straight face.
"More like a heart injury after your blatant denial of our romantic married life just now!", you scoffed, trying to sound as offended as possible. You found out recently that teasing Nanami had become your new favorite thing; his reactions were to die for, and possibly Gojo's weird tactics were rubbing off on you.
To say that Geto was bewildered would be an understatement, because the last time he checked, Nanami wasn't one to entertain such chatter or blush at unintentionally flirty jokes. Generally, Geto considered himself the most mature of the bunch, and he was above all these sappy-feeling things, so why were several questions flooding his head? Was Geto the third wheel here? Was he feeling some sort of way for you? Did he want you to be this way only with him? Geto waited till Nanami left out of sheer awkwardness and embarrassment to ask if you wanted to hang out with him, and unfortunately, you were not free.
Actually, you were. You just wanted to save yourself from the heartache because it was frustrating how you felt around him. He was untouchable and really beautiful, and your sense of inferiority kicked in every time Gojo bragged about the double dates he went on with his best friend. So turning him down seemed like a better option than deluding yourself in fantasies. What you didn't know was that life already had a funny joke up its sleeve—that Geto had been assigned to an inevitable mission along with Gojo that very day.
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2010
Geto was tired of dealing with the spineless monkeys; they were getting on his nerves. Such self-centered, one-dimensional idiotic bunch weren't worth his time, but their pockets full of money and senseless heads filled with blind devotion were. Since their disgusting lives lacked meaning, he manipulated them into believing in the revolutionary religious group that he was the god of. To make some sense of the useless souls, he was doing them a favor by liberating them and making use of their miserable existence. It was always easy to instill fear in the ignorant; hence, his blessings and powers became the perfect pearls in his already beautiful ornament.
What kept him motivated was something that he yearned for—the only boon he had been enthroned with—you. And right now, he was waiting for you to return from an important congregation you conducted to scout some new fools into this institution. He knew you were capable of so much more than just using your beauty and polite, submissive nature to exploit the beliefs of the non-sorcerers, yet he couldn't trigger your fragile state by exposing you too much to the consequences of following him. So he complied with your wishes of playing house as an escape from everything. It was everything and more; there was no harm, there were no curses, there was sincerity, there was love, and there was you, and you were all he needed.
"I'm never going back there again!", you declared as you pulled Geto into a hug the minute you arrived. Being surrounded by silly people, putting up a facade, carrying yourself like an angel in front of all the devotees, a ruthless sorcerer for the enemies, a diplomat in non-sorcerer politics, and a prudent young girl for all the perverts was exhausting. It was only beside Geto that you allowed yourself to let loose, as danger was always on your tail due to your close association with him.
"Come on, I have to show you something", he said, breaking the hug.
"I really don't have the energy to travel anymore, Suguru. Let's go back to the hotel", you whined.
"Please, just this once. You won't regret it", he pleaded, and you obviously agreed. The car ride was peaceful, with your head laying on his shoulder as he admired your sleeping form, waking you up once the car reached its destination.
You woke up to a duplex surrounded by a row of rare flowers and trees, arranged in a uniform manner. You looked around the area before speaking up, "What's this place?"
"It's our home", Geto answered lovingly.
You looked back and forth between the house and him, taken aback. You remembered telling him how frustrating it was to move hotels every week. How much you craved the warmth of your parents own place. How much you wanted to be with him in a place where you could breathe freely and not feel guilty about anything. You turned to Suguru only to see him looking at you affectionately. You could be here with him, and no one in the world would know. Maybe there's a chance for change. You wanted to convey your million feelings to him, so you closed the distance between you to kiss him and let him know, which he reciprocated by kissing you deeply, pulling you as close as possible, and stopping only to take you to explore the rest of the house.
The moment you entered the bedroom, Geto had you against the wall as you wrapped your legs around him instinctively. Nuzzling into your neck and pecking you, Geto felt alive for the first time in a while. The way your lips met, the way you tasted, and the way you were trying to move your hips to gain some friction were driving him insane; it was heavenly. Before he could do anything about it, you halted your movements and walked towards the bed, stripping yourself completely and turning to say, "Suguru, I want you to fuck me".
Almost as if on cue, Geto took off his black yukata robes and followed you to the bed. He was so aroused that he couldn't help but kiss you again and suck hard enough on your bottom lip to leave a bruise. Laying you down, he started sucking your neck and teasing your nipples, going south with every passing second. Once he reached your sex, a loud moan escaped your mouth when he swirled his tongue, entering your dripping hole as he initiated the assault on your clit with his thumb. His humming pleasured you more through the vibrations, showing you just how much he longed for you. "Fuck Suguru, don't stop", you whined out of desperation.
Your moans motivated him to lick your clit with broad strokes of his tongue. You were tangling his hair, pulling on them, and trying to grind on his face, and seeing your squirming body under his control made him painfully hard. Keeping a tight grip on your thighs, Geto buried himself between them, swilling and smacking the slick while relishing his new addiction. Your hole pulsated around his tongue as he kept slurping on your juices, and you climaxed due to the overstimulation.
High on you, Geto had you sprawled on your back in a missionary position. The hypnotic haziness of the moment was too much for him, so he entered you to fulfill his carnal desire to have you. Moaning wildly, he tried to move, only to end up shuddering due to the stimulation. He didn't want to hurt you, but your face—the mix of ecstasy and craziness—was enough to drive him to the brink. Forgetting everything, he started rutting into you with harsh, deep strokes, causing you to writhe under him. The delicious jiggle of your tits allured Geto to give them the attention they deserved, sucking on one while squeezing the other. "Fuck...ngh...hsh... you're doing so good, baby...ahh", Geto said with a shaky breath as he lifted your leg up to thrust even deeper.
It wasn't the first time Geto was doing it with you; actually, he had spent countless amazing nights with you before, but this time was different. He felt as if you both were sharing the unspoken feelings you held for each other; it was serene and intimate. Being a God to thousands yet he found true devotion only in your eyes, where he was what he aspired to be: kind. And in this moment, he became one with you, and there was no beyond. His exuberant feelings were waiting to be spilled, but something stopped him. Was it doubt or rejection? He didn't know, but he knew better than to say it out loud.
"I love you, Suguru...hah..fuc-", you were cut off with a suffocating kiss. Geto's thrusting became erratic as he tried to express himself through his actions. Suddenly, life felt more lively; every sensation on his skin felt more pleasurable; it was overwhelming; he was losing control. You both came together, yet none of you stopped, wanting to stay in that euphoric episode for longer. Geto had so much to say to you, so much to confess, but he didn't. There was no rejection now; however, there was vulnerability, and it scared him.
"I love you", was all that his cowardice allowed him to utter.
Ch 3
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spoopy-arcade · 4 months
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The hate on Roxy because she's a "bitch" and a "narcissist" and... wanting to get Gregory? (When literally everyone besides Freddy is also trying to kill him???) Is so fucking stupid and just shows how much you people hate female characters. I'm about to go in-
First of all, the bad talk at Gregory in SB was because she was hacked by Vanny, (even her behaviour when you see her through the vents in her room) obviously there was no way she'd actually talk like that to a KID, but alot of you seriously believe that. And yeah, ok, she says a few mean things, so what? SO WHAT? If this was Monty's, or maybe Bonnie's personality instead, would you be spewing hate at them, or continue to simp for them and call their behaviour hot? I know for a FACT that a lot of you would. Not all female characters have to be too sweet or quirky and silly for you to like.
Back to Roxy's bad talk, you may think "Well, none of the others bad talk him!!" Yeah, it's because everything Roxy says to him is actually targeted to herself. The game clearly showed us how she actually feels: crying alone in her room, constantly telling herself that she's not a loser, and questioning if everyone loves her. Her praising herself are reminders to feel like she's still loved more than anything.
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And the one thing that boosted her confidence alot was her looks. Her looks clearly meant so much to her, and we see this in Help Wanted 2 as well, so obviously she would be furious and lose it if someone took that away from her, including her ability to see.
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And before I say anything else, I just wanna say that no I'm not angry at Gregory at all, he is just a child who was doing everything he can to survive, and if I were in his place, I would've done the same as well to protect myself. But at the same time, I understand Roxy's anger too. If I were someone who had very low self esteem that I reassure and prepare myself everyday to hang on, when one day, suddenly someone hits me with a whole go kart that shatters my entire body, and on top of that, they steal my eyes too? Yes, I wouldn't just be devasted, but I'd be very angry as well. Roxy was taken everything away from her, and was left to rot alone, I don't blame her for being angry at all.
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Now more onto Ruin, which shows us her true side all along.
In the dlc, I don't think (Or it's clear at this point) that any of them are hacked anymore, since we assume that Vanny left with Gregory and Freddy in the good ending, and Glitchtrap is gone. But with Chica and Monty, I feel like they've just lost themselves and are completely broken. Even when seeing Cassie, they still tried to kill her. But with Roxy, she was the only one who recognised her when she heard her voice, and even apologized for grabbing her.
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Later on, when Cassie stumbles onto Roxy again, this is where we see her TRUE self. Where she's sweet, soft, and not as mean as everyone made her out to be. (The way she gently speaks to her and holds her hand will never not make me cry) We know that from Roxy's lines, she was one of few who actually showed up to her birthday, since her friends didn't and was the reason why Cassie was crying in one of the cut outs we see. But Roxy was there for her, and she still remembered her special day, her favourite cake, and she was her number one - twice.
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This part CLEARLY shows you that Roxy isn't a selfish jerk who only cares about herself, she cares about the kids, and she cares a lot about Cassie. There's a reason why she's Cassie's favourite, right? And don't forget that she literally went up against the mimic to protect her!!!
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And I do wanna say that, no, this post isn't telling you that you're not allowed to dislike Roxy or criticise her at all, the issue is hating her character and personality when she would've been praised for it and called "hot" if she were Monty, Moon, Bonnie, or if she was Glamrock Foxy instead. (Which is... literally misogyny) Like, even before Ruin, there were people who hated Roxy for being a jerk, but then turn around and praise Monty when we see him being way more aggressive, while theorizing that he was the one KILLED Bonnie over jealousy. Not even because he was hacked, just... jealousy, and that's not him being 10 times worse than Roxy???
Don't forget the details in Monty's Gator Golf minigame, where in some levels, Freddy was always seen separated from the gang, and in the last level, you see Monty performing along side Roxy and Chica, while Freddy was thrown in the trash...
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To me, this is clearly because he's jealous at Freddy, and wants to be the star instead. And along side him possibly killing Bonnie...
I'm sorry, but while I do like Monty, he is literally WAY more of a jerk. Alot of you people believe he killed Bonnie, is extremely jealous, way more aggressive, and yet Roxy is the worst of all for saying "I bet you don't even have friends" to a child when she was HACKED? But yeah, also praise the literal child murderer and abuser for being "interesting" and a cool character, but no, Roxy is the worst because she's a bitch. It's just so ridiculous, and I'm not surprised in the slightest, female characters will always get this treatment.
Alright, it's finally out of my system, anyway stan Roxy.
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bigtreefest · 2 months
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Chapter 1: Breakin’ Up With a Broken Heart
From: Bigger Houses Series
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Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari Levinson x Reader, mentions of past ex x reader
Summary: A year after a breakup that left you shattered, you’re ready to start life anew in your secluded Colorado mountain cabin. Just when you swear off love is when a new beast crosses your path.
Word Count: 1,896
Content/Warnings: Mentions of heartbreak, in-depth description of a breakup and feelings regarding that, safe driving in juxtaposition to a reckless person, deep introspection, enjoyment of mountain cabin vibes, lmk if I missed any
Author’s Note: This serves as a lot of exposition for what I hope will be a very lovey story; everyone knows you’ll probably face some heartbreak first. Also, yes, this is heavily based on my first heartbreak. What about it? Anyway, please enjoy the start of this long-anticipated fic. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated more than you know. And in case you didn’t hear it yet today, I love you.
Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
I STRONGLY suggest listening to this song, not just because it’ll help get across the vibes I’d like, but also because it’s a really good song.
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >
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Your break-up
It’s been months since you walked out on him and left town in a cloud of dust. It didn’t end well, but you’d be lying if you said you thought he was right for you.
One year ago
It ended in a text. Nine months gone in a text.
I’m done.
To which you responded: You mean our relationship? Ok.
It was honestly a relief. You had been looking for a way out, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Maybe a part of you wondered if someone would ever want you that much again, even though he only ever showed it in words and not action. Your head was okay with the situation, but it seemed your heart didn’t get the memo. Even though it ended by what you considered a mutual agreement (if that’s what you call him dumping you over you not visiting on a weekend you were spending with your family since he didn’t prioritize anyone���s time but his own), it still hurt. Three days later, he posted a pic with a new girl and a new car the same price as the ring you two had looked at.
He was a textbook narcissist with mommy issues, how’d they always find you? It was the kind of relationship where three months in, you should’ve ended it, but stuck around for another six. It was full of late-night calls, but not even the good ones. These were the ones that happened because he never seemed to have time for you during the day. The attention seemed good at first, but the calls would leave you tired the next morning, unable to get up as early as you wanted to so you could be productive. And you couldn’t talk to your mom and sister about it. They hated him. They saw through his selfish behavior before you and you wish you would’ve listened before giving him everything you could, which still wasn’t enough.
He said he wanted to get married hardly a month in because he loved everything about you. At first, you thought it was a joke, but the more he said it, the more you somehow convinced yourself that was what you wanted, too, but it could not have been more far from the truth. You wanted a happy life with a partner, but not like that and not that fast. Well, was it too fast? Or did it just feel that way because it was with the wrong person? Plus, it was less of a partnership, and more of a continuous compromise put on your part. Either way, as time went on, you realized that every small conversation was leading to a fight and your work and other relationships were suffering from the time he expected of you, but never returned. All he did was expect you to give, not holding himself to that same standard, but for some reason, you kept holding on. You had even looked at rings, not committing, though, because he knew you’d want him to speak to your mother first and she would never go for it. So, the relationship continued to drag on until he got upset since you said no to him one too many times.
But that was so long ago now. You did your time crying, listening to all the sad songs, wondering where you could have possibly gone wrong until you had enough. The only thing you really did wrong was not trust your instincts. You went too far following his heart and not far enough with your own mind. Love can be cerebral, right? It should be. There was no reason to feel sorry for yourself, you were better off and doing all the things you wanted that he’d held you back from before. He had very evidently moved on, and so could you. Sick of feeling down in a town that only reminded you of heartbreak, you found what you needed right now: a new job and an open Zillow posting you’d been watching for forever: your ticket out.
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You were taking a vacation to your brand new start, tears long gone and dried with the wind that blew through your hair as you drove through the wooded mountainside. The sun was warm on your face, all loneliness was left in the darkness you left behind. Boxes and bags graciously organized by your mom filled the back of your SUV, and her’s sat just as full, driving behind you up the mountain passes. Before you’d gotten up here, the two of you had stopped at the last gas station, filling up your cars, getting a couple snacks, and stretching your legs before the final couple miles upward. Standing outside your cars gassing up, she looked over to you.
“Hey, just a reminder to be careful in the mountains. You don’t know what’s up there. Mountain lions, bears, snakes.”
“Oh my” you said giggling at your own Wizard of Oz reference.
She smiled and rolled her eyes at you “haha, very funny, but I’m serious. Not just about living there, but driving, too. You never know when a deer could jump out.”
You’d heard this a thousand times, being from wooded, albeit less dense, areas before. Plus, your mom was always concerned about you. Perks of growing up with a dad who was never really present. All of her focus could go to you. Never seeing a proper model relationship was probably half of the reason you had gotten into this mess, too, but you’d never blame that. She’d given you all she could and done a darn good job raising a driven, successful daughter (in every aspect except romance). You were eternally grateful for her support of moving where you had always wanted. It was honestly the perfect opportunity. Once the pumps clicked and the gas was finished, you both prepared to hop back into your cars.
“And remember, don’t talk to strangers.”
“Mom, we’re driving. I doubt we’ll run into anyone else up there.”
She shrugged and you responded with a small smirk, shaking your head as you put the keys in the ignition.
Back to driving higher and higher in elevation, you were drumming your fingers on the dashboard to the songs on the radio that you had blasting. Benefit of driving alone: no interrupted music. As you kept going, the road was becoming narrower and windier, pairing with the dimming afternoon sun. As you were rounding a big bend, you saw something step out into the road and you immediately swerved around it to avoid crashing, pulling over onto the side right after. What was that? A bear? A deer? No, not a deer, too tall. Your mom pulled over right behind you and rolled down her window as you got out of the car and walked back to hers to fill her in.
“What happened?”
“Something stepped out into the road. I’m not sure what it was.” A tall man with cascading brown hair and a full, fitting beard stepped into your vision through your mom’s passenger window. “Or should I say someone. I’m gonna go talk to him, make sure he’s okay.”
“Alright, kiddo. Be careful, though. I’ll be right here.”
You stood up from leaning against your mom’s driver side door and made your way around the front of the car, your eyes drifting upwards from the ground to a narrow waist and broad shoulders, chest rising and falling with deep breaths, eventually meeting with the most gorgeous pair of ocean blues. All these features belonged to the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he ran out into the middle of the road and could’ve killed either of you.
Caught off guard by the whole situation, your brain defaulted to panic and defensive mode.
“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”
The man looked at you with wide eyes and simply blinked, unable to form a response until he stuttered out
“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”
Even when evidently distracted and out of it, he was still insanely attractive, making you grow more anxious by the second under his intense stare and scrutinization as he continued to stand there, taking you in and then catching himself and looking anywhere else. You were self-conscious of your hair that was tucked under a beanie to combat the cold mountain air and likely disheveled from your long day. He was obviously in a state where arguing wouldn’t benefit either of you, and honestly, you were in the same boat, ready to get to your new home and start unpacking. The sun was starting to set already and you definitely didn’t want to be out after dark, plus you knew the exhaustion from the drive would be catching up soon.
“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful next time. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”
Wanting to avoid any more awkward interactions and the opportunity of embarrassing yourself in front of an adonis, you rushed back to your car and started back up the mountain. You could see the image of the man in your side mirror getting smaller, his gaze still fixed on your car, until you turned and lost sight of him.
Once you pulled into your new home, your mom met you with a suitcase, ready to take the stairs to the entrance.
“Well he was cute, albeit a little reckless. Wonder what was going on”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, though. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t need to make a habit of almost hitting things when driving around up here.”
You unlocked the door and held it open for your mom as she walked in and turned back to look at you. “Well, by the looks of how small this town is, you might. And once you figure out whatever’s going on in his head, maybe he’ll be a nice new friend to have up here.”
“Um, yeah, I guess. Maybe. After all this time, I think I’ll need a friend. Someone to restore my hope for humanity.”
You tried to lighten the mood regarding your distaste for others that had grown from feeling so deeply betrayed and your mom gave a knowing glance in response. But it seemed there was something more to it. It was knowing in more ways than one, hardly noticeable, as you turned to go get another load to bring in from the trunk.
Your mind raced with thoughts of having to get all of this junk into the house. You stepped out into the crisp mountain air, admiring the deepening blue sky and unobstructed stars, the darkness in contrast to the way your mood had brightened slowly from something similarly dark over the past year, becoming more like the stars that glowed in the beautiful night ski. As you trotted down the stairs, your tried to convince yourself that being here was going to be everything you hoped for yourself and your future ticket to happiness. That the last thing on your mind was love.
Next >
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