#ME AND MOM

[lampylamperson]

Me and my mom watching nimona during ambrosius little mind freak out scene

Mom:are you sure their in love?

Me:yeah

Mom:but he cut of his arm

Me:that’s what he was taught to do

Mom:we’ll just remember arm chopping is not a love language

*Me and mom laughs*

We had fun watch the movie

#nimona is just like me fr fr #nimona #me and mom #my mom is so funny #nimona ballister #arm chopping is not a love language

[jennhoney]

A year ago.

#what a fucking span of time #me and mom #jennhoney personal log #old nasty boot goofin #heartbreak and cancer and no fafner and no home #but now there is fafner!

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Bethy got mom a small nutcracker at Walmart. She loved nutcrackers very much and she asked me if I wanted to guess its name.

I struggled. This went on for several minutes before I hit record.

Careful with the volume! @flamingpen18 here we are!

~.O.~

Me: Alright, so, it's not the name of a person. It is the name of a Thing. So, it's not a proper name. You are making it a Proper Noun by making it a name, but it not necessarily a name. So, it's not named after people, which means it's a Thing. But I don't- It's- Is it- Is it an ice cream? Is this supposed to be an ice cream?

Mom: I don't really know what it's supposed to be.

Me: Okay, well, that doesn't help me.

Mom: What it looked like to me-

Me: It's- DONT' TELL ME! *chokes*

Mom: I was like, "That's his name. That's his name right there."

Me: Um... Uuuum. Well because- *flabbergasted* He just looks like a fucking nutcracker with an ice cream thing on top. I don't really -What can it- Okay. Is it in relation to an animal?

Mom: No.

Me: What the f- *slaps knee in frustration* Okay. Is it in relation-

Mom: I'm really concerned. *laughs*

Me: *high-pitched giggles* Is it in relation to a food?

Mom: Yes.

Me: Food, okay! This does not help at all. Is it only a food, or is it used to be anything else or is it just food?

Mom: I have seen Nana use this particular item, that is a food, as something else.

Me: ...Butter?

Mom: No.

Me: *wheezing and cackling*

Mom: *weird look* What does butter have to do with anything?

Me: No! You don't wanna know what I was thinking!

Mom: Never mind, Helen, you are not good at this. OMG.

Me: *wheezing* I have such a headache OMG!

Mom: And you did it to yourself. I hope you're happy.

Me: I CAN'T- I'M TRYING! Okay, so... My throat hurts.

Mom: Doo- doo- doo- That's what happens when you cackle like a hyena.

Me: *wheezing* It's not my fault, I can't- Okay, food. Yeah, but how does it- Okay, but if it's not ice cream then how- *chuckling* Okay.

Mom: What else does it look like?

Me: I DON'T KNOW! He looks like an old man trying to be Santa but as a nutcracker! Okay? *giggles*

Mom: Santa Crackers.

Me: Like... okay. *sniffs* *giggles* I forgot for a second that you said food and I thought, 'nipples' but like-

Mom: *cough* No. No! NO!

Me: *cackles* Well- but you said it was on top of it-

Mom: God, what is wrong with you?!

Me: *giggles* Okay. Okay. *sniffs* I'm okay.

Mom: That's up for debate.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Yeah, you said that but still... *laughs*

Me: *wheezing* Ok- *coughs* Oka- I CAN'T! JUS- Okay.

Mom: STOP SAYING 'OKAY'! WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS NOT OKAY!

Me: I'm- I'm Trying! *wheezing* Okay... *laughs* No! I'm trying!

Mom: *laughs* *coughs*

Me: *clears throat* Oh! Is it a gumdrop?

Me: JESUS CHRIST! *howling laughter*

Mom: *laughs* That's it! Yes! Gumdrop!

Me: OMG! WTF?!

Mom: All that! All that for your foolishness!

Me: I was thinking, I was like, what is that like for?

Mom: It's okay, Gumdrop. Aunt Helen'll be okay!

Me: *giggles* *sniffs* To think, we started off with me asking if it was named Martin. *cackles* And then if it was named Nana. *laughs* OMG, man I am not good at that at all. Okay. Okay so... Okay.

Mom: Ar- You keep saying 'okay' and it is not.

Me: You can't blame be because there was a thing on top of it! *coughs*

Mom: I want you to know that I can do nothing but blame you! *giggles*

Me: There was a thingy on to of it, okay? It- It looked less like that and more like the top scoop of an ice cream cone!

Mom: *mumbles* De scoop. De scoopa.

Me: Like, I'm trying to think of like, fucking food, and I should've asked if it was a fucking snack or some shit, it would've made it fucking faster. *sighs* Okay. My head hurts... and it's your fault.

Mom: ...*offended look*

Me: *wheezes*

Mom: How'd it become my fault?

Me: *clears throat* *sniffs* Because you were relishing in my suffering.

Mom: Well, of course, it was funny. Also, very sad.

Me: *sniffs* You suck.

Mom: No, not really.

Me: *sniffs* Alright.

Mom: I have no interest in that shit.

Me: Okay. Everything's okay.

~.O.~

The offender in question:

#humor #me and mom

[tinypawsllc]

Marlow & Phillip

#cute puppies #puppylife #puppies #chihuahua #puppies of tumblr #awwww cute #me and mom #awwdorable #adorable #puppy #tinypawsllc #awwwwwww

[harlequinchaos]

Don't I deserve love.. and jewelry? 🔮

#me and mom #me #Jinkx Monsoon

[unhonestlymirror]

Average slavic women selfie

#me and mom

[colorsofmyseason]

So my mom found my tiktok (which has no content whatsoever and doesn't use my name anyway so she doesn't know it's me) and here I am trying to keep a neutral face and say "Whoa I wonder who it is..."

#mirano's rant #mirano's daily life #me and mom

[everydayclutter]

Mom: why are you smiling? Did you just get a new crush?

Me: *lifting my head from a video of Aaron Ramsdale save compilation* uhhh..

#mirano's daily life #mirano's rant #me and mom

[ultraestonianblog]

#summer #estonian #w #me #me and mom #mom #mommy

[naomiknight-17]

Existential crisis in Monica's kitchen

#FRIENDS #the friends experience #friends experience #mod post #mod pic #mom #me and mom #family stuff

[goodnessgraciousgal]

Mum: *looks around*

Mum: So, uh, how many bird decor and art pieces do you have in this house?

Me: Uhm… all of of them…. Including the plants

Mum: the plants??

Me: Uh ya…Bird of Paradise??? My perennial plant. Ring a bell?!?

#bird is the word #birds #art work #funny conversations #me and mom #home decor #bird of paradise #perennials #i’m just #a bird #but okay

[fialukaffee]

Happy Mother's Daayyy!!♥️

#happy mother’s day 2022 #happy mothers day #mother #happy mother's day #drawing #sketch #drawingsketch #drawsketch #me and mom #mom and me #drawdrawdraw #sketch drawing #draws #drawings #sketch art #sketches

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

#Mom can you pick me up I'm scared #That siren song is playing again #But wouldn't it be neat to dye spin weave sew knit crochet tat #OMG save me #Hobbies #Textile Arts #Crochet #Knitting #Weaving #Spinning yarn #Cross Stitch #Quilting #Never has Grandma Iris' voice been so loud in my head #(Miss you forever Grandma Iris)

[cactuseri]

collection

#seri.txt #these just made me laugh idk 😭 my mom and dad r also both like this #idk if someone’s posted these before but idc #seri’s hits

[daisychainsandbowties]

super curious today about how people feel toward the names they might have been given. apparently i used to ask my mom about my “boy name” several times a week and get really sad i couldn’t have both my given name and that name. being trans this is hilarious to me now so wondering

also curious how this intersects with being trans!! i feel like my fixation with it definitely had a lot to do with that, so idk add in tags? if you feel like being trans makes you more/less curious about it

#poll #you can ignore this but i AM curious #my might-have-been name was darcy 🫠🫠 my mom likes austen #but did she have to wet rag boy code me like that?? #prophetic though i am shit at parties and wet with rain

[murderballadeer]

people are so weird about babies like calling them crotch goblins, reducing being a parent "letting someone cum in you" etc etc etc like those are tiny little humans you don't have to want to have any of your own but they are literally just small people & it's weird to constantly describe them in crude sexual terms and/or as subhuman

#it bugs me. like i'll probably never be a mom but i genuinely rly like kids including babies #& obv not everyone does & that's fine but like it weirds me out how crude people choose to be abt them #soapbox #suggestive