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giacmotrua · 4 years

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Knowing your limit

I find it really important for people to know their limits, in other words what they are entitled to do and what they are not, and limitations, what they can do and cannot.

We go to work and there’s what’s called “professional boundary”, like doctors are not supposed to date the patient, carers are not supposed to have sexual relationship with clients, interpreters are supposed to say the same thing in another language without expressing any emotions while doing so, unless you have a doctor’s permit do not diagnose,... the list goes on. I wonder if everyone understands that such boundary ensures safety for workers and clients, or any party on each end, and that work is delegated properly, no one is pressured to do other people’s job. We sometimes yearn to do more, to have more competencies, which is a good thing but you need to have appropriate training first to do the right thing or way before you get your hands on anything, so you can do it safely for everyone and yourself. It is not a hard concept to understand and generally any person in the workforce can comply to this pretty well. It is in life that things get complicated.

Parents told us when we were children that we shall know “our place” and we believe this is a bad thing to hear, that we are disregarded and not respected. It’s all about perspective and choices so what if I comply to it but in a manipulative way? You now children who make their parents happy can get what they want pretty easily, if the parents say no, there will almost always be some sort of compromise, such as turning it into a prize condition for something in exchange or just being talked to nicely to explain the reason and, again, other alternatives to it, or, you know, you can just do it in your own terms and parents won’t even notice any changes.

Another thing is, when you know your limit, you know if you need to get involved or not. I know someone who thinks he need to worry about every single fight that his parents have because it is annoying and they are his parents so he has to worry about them (parents and the fights). I tried to explain to him I know it might be loud and irritating in terms of we need some peace and do not want to to hear such noises but he does not need to focus on why are they fighting and why they are not leaving him alone. They are not doing anything to him, except annoying his environment and ears but focusing on them fighting all the time is not the way to think about it. Think of it this way, if you think you need to get involved, then how can you change it? If you cannot change it, why the hell do you need to get involved in other people’s matter? Everyone has their own way of living, everyone has their own way of doing things and it is by all means their right to do so. Is it that hard to properly leave people alone and mind your own business? Knowing your limit, you understand your parents fighting annoys you because they are noisy in a very disturbing way, then find somewhere else quiet to get back to work. Knowing your limit, you understand your lesbian daughter has her own right to feel and live that way and you can either not seeing her again or accept and let nature determines her path from now on, not having some asshole raping her. Knowing your limit, you let your children live their own lives and when they make mistakes, they turn back to you for advice and THEN they will believe and listen to you from then on. Yet, people with their curiosity and nosiness just have to get into everyone’s business and try to make it to their own way. Seriously, do you want to be treated that way? Why are you treating other people like that?

Know what I have been mentioning above are quite for people who have some sorts of relationships, like parents, friends and it was about forcing people to think like do you do because you cannot understand how or what others are thinking. There is another case of being judgemental. I just read a book the other day about real estate investing and there are people who are “sources of information” that are “know-it-all”. They know everything about the mass economy, polictics and how those factors can affect the housing industry. Should we listen to them? Well, it is pretty obvious, the author marked we can just ask them “How many properties have you got?”, if that person has 0 property than why should we listen to anything they are saying? I have someone who is the same and then tried to judge the way I want to buy another property instead of just relying on my husband and his parents’ house, judging the way I weigh and work things out is alright, this person extended to giving my parents advice on how to spend the money on something else and not another property like that. I even had my brother theorised to be unemployed with nothing works out. What does my family have anything to do with this and why do they have to include my family into their “teachings” and calculation? Now, I want to include something more about society than families. If you know someone is a prostitute and prostitution is illegal, you have no right to teach that person a lesson or call the clients’ wife or husband to give that prostitute a lesson either. You have a responsibility to minimize crimes so you can just go ahead and call the police instead, why waste your strength and time on something stupid? If you know someone is a pedophile, guys, gather evidence and call the police, let the legal system and custody make him pay the price, you let everyone knows so this person can be eradicated from community but you do not have to kill the guy and you go to jail instead of him. See I do not use “teach him a lesson” here as this is mental and in a lot of cases cannot be altered or therapied. Speaking of this, I do not tolerate and I do feel disgusted by it so I need to protect other children and make sure he pays a good price for it. I am quite open to differences, but this is unacceptable and disrespectful, so such people deserve to be tortured by the society correspondingly and in the worst way possible. Like I said, you have to pay the price.

Back to the topic, when you know your limit, you know how to plan your steps accordingly to success. You do not shout out to the whole world and the criminal gets nothing in return. You make sure who you can ask to help, you make sure what you can do to get things done properly. I do not understand people who needs help in law asks members in a community Facebook group for advice and not a group with professional lawyers in or, well, go to real lawyer offices to ask for good advice.

We think that limits are bad things and probably unnecessary, they really are but you have to use them wisely so you can better yourself while actually make differences and contribute positive changes. It is all about perspective and I really want to address more of the controversial and debating solutions to problems to encourage more ideas in life because if you have to live anyway, make your it count, do not waste it.��

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