#MOAR??????? WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT

[zumpietoo]

Finally....

Sorry it's taken me until now, various and sundry tasks have had me running all about....

Well, first off, Silly/janASS pretending to be an anon.....Cole fans and SH shippers are two verrryyyyyy different things....and those of us who ARE Cole fans? Not only recognize Cari is a thing, but we LOVE it....in fact, aren't YOU GUYS the ones always insisting IT'S "an illusion"/pee arr/Ari's a prostitute, moar often than not "not even permitted in LA by Cole"/grifter blackmailing Cole into submission???

Speaking of "an illusion"---while, yes, I will grant you SH was most assuredly NOT the enchanted delight it might've seemed at the time....that's something we're also all FULLY aware of....and, again, while yes, they apparently broke up a LOT...they were a real couple, on and off for nearly 4 years and, now confirmed, contrary to your endless insistence, PP was the cheater and Cole dumped her ass.

I think you can also freely admit, had they not been on the same TeeVee show, they never would've reconciled multiple times....and it probably would've played out over the course of a year or even less.

I agree it was "toxic", but that was because of PP, not Cole....see above.

As for "content", yeah, we actually got a considerable amount....moar than Cabana Pee....and then it was farrrrr less staged/pee arr-y, as well (lots of it was actually accidental, candid spottings of them together....versus pap walks and plus ones at pee arr events).

I'd say you have the next fully backwards.....PP is the one dating a Walmart Cole, having gotten with said Walmart Cole entirely because A) cheap Cole imitation B) literally imitated Cole, because BOTH of them are desperate for Cole's attention. She's also the one who stalked/cosplayed Ari and now looks to recreate key moments WITH Cole, but inserting Cabana Boi. She also endlessly sexually harassed Cole, years after he dumped her, on set....

And that all, in and of itself, makes HER a "vile human being", not Cole....who, once again, has done nothing wrong.

The entire "can't be in the same room" is because of her antics....

As noted above, I fully respect Cari as a couple and am very, very happy for them both. They're adorable. Again, the ones who can't/don't? Are yourselves....because, LBR, what you're mad at Cole about is that he dumped your kween.

Chase/Madelyn/Kelsea----IDGAF and, actually, nobody I'm friends with does, either....they all suck, are icky, etc....

Plus, let's look at who's here, endlessly trying to turn CB into an actual Cole, endlessly shipping HIS tiktoker ass with PP, just as you did previously with GymD, not Ms. G (cuz homophobes) and used to fanfic her with Chris Evans (who was already taken) and John Mayer....as an unpaid prostitute, herself, no less!

And I am responsible for all this? I thought nobody listens to me/GAF what I have to say? Plus if, again, true? Then everybody already thinks Cari are awesome....

Sorry you're this fucking stupid....but true, it isn't "too late to grow up", for yourselves....

Also not sure what I or any of my friends have ever done that's "unacceptable behavior"????

Given when this was sent and agreed on (Sunday), I'm guessing their butthurt was extra intense, compliments of further recognition of the obvious (i.e. Cabana Boi is Shein Cole)......

[panharmonium]

persistence [ficlet]

summary: Merlin was giving Will the Eyes.  The “open your mouth the wrong way and I’ll stuff a dirty sock in there” eyes.  (aka: Daegal tries his hand at carpentry again, and Will tries to be polite about it.)

context for newcomers: last week @once-and-future-gay​ wrote a post imagining what it would have been like if Will and Daegal had both lived and gotten to interact with one another, and I loved it so much that I wrote a fic for it.

The other day she sent me the following messages, and - well, you can probably guess what happened next.

i just had this idea of daegal refusing to give up w the carpenting, and trying to make a little will statue made out of wood 

it is....... abysmal

but will just sort hides a grimace because he appreciates the hard work that went into it and thanks him for it

it sits on his bedside table but if anyone asks no it doesn't 

Merlin was giving Will the Eyes.  The “open your mouth the wrong way and I’ll stuff a dirty sock in there” eyes.

Will had never been much intimidated by that look, but he did still refrain from vocalizing any of the immediate thoughts that popped into his head, piercing Merlin with an irritable who do you think i am look over the top of Daegal’s head instead.

To Daegal, Will offered a valiant, somewhat strained smile.  “You’ve made something!” he remarked, forcing as much enthusiasm into this statement as he could muster, deciding it was safest to stick to simple observations for now, in order to avoid being forced to ask a very confused question or, worse, give a demonstrably false compliment.  

“Yeah, I have,” Daegal replied, looking nervous, as he set his offering down on one of Gaius’s tables.  “Merlin said - well, I’m to be practicing persistence this week, he told me.  So I decided to have another go at the carpenter’s bench.”

“Oh, did you now?”  Will, suddenly comprehending, caught Merlin’s eye, silently communicating a dire promise of revenge-to-come.  “Merlin said that, did he?”

“Yeah,” Daegal replied.  Behind him, where Daegal could not see, Merlin waggled his eyebrows at Will.  “And he said maybe I ought to make something for you, since you were teaching me and I never did say thank you.  Thank you, by the way,” he added.

Will struggled to tear his eyes away from Daegal’s mangled creation, the wooden surface of which looked as if it had been carved with someone’s teeth, instead of proper tools.  “You’re welcome,” he managed, with some difficulty.  Sorry I didn’t teach you better, he thought to himself, but he did not say so out loud, because that was definitely the sort of thing that would earn him a sock in the mouth.  “Er - it’s really...”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “...Good on you for trying again,” he settled on finally.  “That shows a fair bit of...what was it?”

“Persistence,” Merlin said, looking unbearably smug.

“Persistence, yeah.”  Will clapped Daegal awkwardly on the shoulder.  “Well done.”

“I know it doesn’t look very good, still,” Daegal admitted, fingering his sleeve.

Will couldn’t very well disagree, not without losing absolutely all credibility, but - “Doesn’t need to look good if it’s sturdy,” he opted for instead, which was true, and perhaps especially so in this case - Daegal’s lumpy sculpture was so chunky and riddled with nails it looked as if it might have the potential to kill, were Will to bash it over an assailant’s head.  “It’s solid work,” he decided, which was technically true, at least in the most literal sense.  “Thank you.”

The smile that bloomed across Daegal’s face in response to this was far more satisfying a reward for Will than the poorly-constructed figurine itself, even if Merlin would have to hold him at swordpoint to make him admit it. 

“All right, you,” Merlin said, packing a medicine bag into Daegal’s arms and chivvying him out of the physician’s chambers.  “You can’t monopolize the kingdom’s craftsmen all day; they’ve got work to do.  Off with your deliveries.” 

Daegal managed to get in one last wave at Will before being scooted out the door.  Only after Will heard the sound of his footsteps disappearing down the tower steps did he turn back to Merlin, his eyes widening.  “You bastard,” he said with feeling.  “That near to killed me.”

Merlin was already laughing.  “It’s not so bad.”

Will picked up the sculpture and brandished it at Merlin’s face, nearly dropping it to the floor when he realized it weighed roughly as much as a millstone.  “You’ve seen it, haven’t you?  You’ve got a close enough look?”

Merlin grinned and pushed Will’s arm out of the way.  “I’ve seen it.”

“Lugh almighty,” Will muttered, staring at the cobbled-together clump of wood.  “What is it supposed to be, even?”

“You mean to say you don’t recognize the model?”

Will squinted at the area of the sculpture that ought to correspond to the place where a person’s face should go, though the charcoal-drawn features left rather a lot to the imagination.  “No.”

“Sure and certain, are you?”

“Pretty sure.”

Merlin tapped Will under the chin.  “Have a look in the mirror, William.”

Will’s horrified gaze snapped back to the figure in his hand.  “That is not me!” he protested.  “It’s not even smiling!”

“I know,” Merlin said.  “That’s how I know it’s a good likeness.”  

Will cuffed Merlin across the back of the head; Merlin, unperturbed, wandered back over to the remedy he’d been mixing, picking up his mortar and pestle and returning to his herb-grinding.  

“He worked on that for ages, you know,” Merlin remarked, sprinkling a spoonful of tiny seeds into his bowl.

Will turned the sculpture over in his hands, hoping in vain that it might look better from behind.  The piece was still woefully crooked, and the bits that were apparently meant to be arms had been attached to the body at wildly different heights, giving the impression that Wooden Will was either suffering from an unfortunate disorder of the spinal column or performing a very dramatic, one-sided shrug.

“He likes you,” Merlin commented.  

There was a hint of something slightly more serious to Merlin’s voice that time, an earnestness that prompted Will to avert his eyes.  He turned away and set the little figurine back down on the table, steadying its precarious wobbling until it could stand upright.  “So?  I like him, too.  He’s a likable little thing.”

“A likeable thing, yeah.  Not a very trusting one, though.”

“Bright of him, that.”   

“He’s leery about people.”

Will busied himself with adjusting the figurine again, even though it was already balancing perfectly well on its own.  “Can’t say I blame him.”

“I don’t blame him, either,” Merlin said, his pestle thunking rhythmically against its bowl.  “But that’s a hard way to live, I think.”

Will stared at the figurine's comically unsmiling face.  “You'd know, I suppose,” he murmured.

“I wasn’t talking about me.”

Will knew perfectly well what Merlin had meant, but he would rather swallow an entire beaker of Gaius's violently green canker remedy than have this conversation.  

“He's got quite fond of you, you know,” Merlin offered, when Will did not say anything else.

“Good on him, Merlin.  I'm glad.”

“He trusts you,” Merlin persisted, in a quieter voice.  “He doesn't trust anybody.”

Will glanced surreptitiously at the window, wondering if he could avoid any more of this painful sincerity by jumping out of it.  Surely such a dramatic stunt would be enough to warrant a change of subject, even if Merlin could be more tenacious than Daegal, when he had a compliment to bestow, and especially when he knew Will would rather crawl out of his own skin than hear it.

Will shrugged, his eyes fixed on the open casement.  Thunk, thunk, went Merlin's pestle in its bowl.  

“What do you want me to say, Merlin?” Will said finally, profoundly uncomfortable.  “I'm a trustworthy fellow, aren’t I?”

The clinking of Merlin’s pestle stopped, and Will instinctively glanced over, only to find himself trapped by a frightfully fond gaze.  “That,” Merlin said softly, “is understating it, I think.”

Will was the first to look away, returning his fierce attention to the window.  Five steps to the casement, seven stories to the bottom.  

Merlin picked up his mortar and pestle again, returning to his work, the two stone tools knocking against one another as he ground up the handful of seeds.  Thunk, thunk.  

“Come sit with me for a bit,” Merlin said, after a moment, his tone light, like they hadn’t just been having a serious conversation, like Merlin hadn’t just been trying to say something horribly important, like he didn’t mind if Will pretended not to hear or never answered him back or declined to meet Merlin’s eyes for the rest of the day.  Will relaxed immediately, abandoning his contemplation of the window without a second thought, the same way he always did whenever Merlin asked him to come back, his resolve to run for it overpowered by an embarrassing wave of gratitude, one that unbalanced his guarded heart, leaving it as treacherously wobbly as the legs of Daegal's sculpture.  This, right here, was one of the things that Will liked best about Merlin, if it were even possible to enumerate such a list - that Merlin always knew, somehow, when Will was getting ready to go jumping out of windows, and that he always agreed to put a lid on things, in those moments, even though his kettle of affection was perpetually boiling over.   

Merlin did not believe in such a thing as too much love, Will knew.  But Merlin did understand that for some of them, at least, there was such a thing as too much at once.

Will joined him at the table, settling onto a worn oaken bench and resting his chin on his folded arms, watching Merlin’s pestle scrape along the sides of its corresponding bowl.  A summer breeze wafted in through the open casements, rustling bunches of dried herbs that dangled from the ceiling and ruffling a stack of parchment on the windowsill.  Outside, the bustle of the castle grounds was a distant medley of labor in progress - hunting hounds barking in the kennels, and the jingle of tack, and the distant rap rap of a hammer.

Will had his own work waiting for him out there, too.  But it could wait a little longer.

“One thing,” he murmured, staring down the table at Daegal’s creation, a faint frown creasing his brow.  “Not that it matters - I’m keeping it, whether or no...but I’ve just got to ask.  Did he paint it, or is that - ”

“Blood,” Merlin sighed, continuing to grind away.  “It’s blood.”

Will shook his head.  Of course it was.

#bbc merlin gen #willappreciation2020 #MOAR??????? WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT #@once-and-future-gay keeps sending me on wild writing tangents #it's so rare for me to be interested in AU scenarios #but 'will and merlin are daegal's surrogate dads' apparently hits the sweet spot for me XD #fic #the once and future slowburn #verse: offcut joinery #no kings no masters #the physician's apprentice

[zumpietoo]

Now For Pressed....

I should preface this with--this arrived MINUTES after I bagged on Peepster last nite.....(but I was tired....), only further cementing just how obsessed the BB is with me.

It's loonnggg so the TWO full snips will be dragged in two parts, here!

We've already discussed this. She scabbed. And routinely violated other strike rules, because she was also desperate for attention....and I've detailed it all along. However, I AM still waiting for proof of

A) Cole is an abuser

B) Cabana Boi was in NYC....(tho that IS possible, buuuutt....funny how KlasseeereinPP didn't take a pic with him, as well, hmm??)

And it's my blog, I don't have to "shut" anything....

Actually, no to all of the above on the second paragraph. If Peepster were "keeping her relationship private", we never would've had the myriad of Power Couple pap pics she arranged. We wouldn't have had her included in videos by his friends, because those could be edited out, easily....and she would've requested as much (plus his friends all fucking hate her, so I'm sure the little we've seen was because they asked for it).

If anything? Still much moar effective/easier to argue it's a Pee Arr relationship, given how staged it is.

Plus I thought keeping your relationship private (as I already noted) was evvvollll/done cuz makes it easier to cheat? You, once again, don't get to have it both ways.

Apparently you also can't read, because I pointed out not that she's IN her family photos (few that there are), but how awkward and uncomfortable she looks in her clearly obligatory visit....oh and her general lack of interaction, even still with them. I'm sorry you're so stupid.

How exactly am I "harassing" anybody by reposting already publicly posted pics? That isn't stalking, either, because, again....they're all fully aware (or should be, after 8 years) that their pics with her ARE gonna generate moar attention than other families.

PLUS.....we're talking about the same peeps who routinely leaked and shared her, Cole and a child for clicks for fucking years. Again, don't get to have it both ways....

As for Cabana Boi? Yes, I do think it's way too soon.....but y'all didn't and are simply off weeping because of it. Additionally, there seems to have been no interaction between them for a month, now....which is what you're really upset about.

AND that she, yet again, even tho just a few hours drive/on the way to NC, didn't bother to meet his 'rents....

Errmmm....let's see....there's nothing wrong with factual criticism of anybody....but, the BB? Do in fact stalk his IG, leave pointless hate on other posts, send death threats, have freely admitted they exist, entirely to "destroy him" and their hate is obsessive, false and irrational.

Oh and hypocritical.....so, since they're like 12 billion times moar egregious, why are you kewl with them, but not me? And, again, please provide proof of anything....

Again, dude....no. Shit is shared with me in DMs. Now, do I find her assholishness to be entertaining? Obviously.....but I never "claimed to hate her", tho if I did, WTF is it to you, anyway?

And why so suddenly worried about what I do----and do you send the same the the BB for their obsession with Cole and myself?

I believe all that applies to yourself (for sending anon hate) and the rest of the BB, once again....plus, WTF is it to you and why are you here? It's untagged and nobody's forcing you. What's embarrassing is your obsession with ME

Pretty sure it's because you're legit THAT upset that

A) PP's relationship with her "nice family" continues to be increasingly strained

B) No Turkey Day Cabana Pee

PS Ummm.....nope. Nor did that person sound anything like me and I'm perfectly happy to claim credit for what I do....

KISSESSSSS!!!!

[zumpietoo]

Again, moar like Picky Percy using their traumas to manipulate and control them---which, actually COULD be interesting.....but I'm generally not hugely into such eps and it'll be, largely, filler....again, we'll have him using his Olde Curiosity Shoppe and offering objects from their past to trigger them (like Vermin's first pearls, the rock that offed caramel, the L'il Douchie engagement ring)----and probably offer to take that pain away....in exchange for their souls or something....

I'm betting he wins with Vermin, maybeee Slizzy, maybe Ragey...

Duuudeee....nobody GAF about Moronica....gooodddd...

Doubtful Scratchy.....we have all sorts of peeps to get thru and this is the FB ep.....again, won't be all about Slizzy

Since it's gonna be FB and she's apparently withstood her direct test, possibly not that, cuntwipe.....but irrelevant. And pretty sure you aren't gonna enjoy the ep, anyway...

Daddy issues, again, Scary Starey. Alsoooo....he's likely to either be turned or killed

Geee....Izzy....cuz not like Jug hadn't already almost been murdered twice, abandoned by both his parents, grown up desperately poor, with an alcoholic dad and a drug lord mommy to further traumatize him.....in addition to his actual trauma of having been betrayed by the people he desperately convinced himself were his friends....

No shortage of shit to mine there, asshole.

Nobody GAF about the others....

Scratchy is actually correct

Naturally Izzy makes it, again, about ships

Yes cuz nobody's so smarty-smart as starstruckshitterturd!

Chad and Vermin??? REALLY?? Nice racism there.....WTF would Uncle Fucker have to do with anything and not, Alice---HAL....god you're stupid

And it jibes with his Needful Things plot, you idiot

OMGGGG....nooooo

Vermin filmed with Picky Percy that day.....like I said, he turns her

Oh good lord....it isn't about Chuck....and I thought y'all were the ones who just fanfic everything----like you're currently doing!

A) take your pick

B) Ummmm.....Snorty, are you SERIOUSLY still clinging to that multiple wheel AUs, endless 5 ep resets still???? Duuuudeee....switch to on/today....(but also, thanks for the reminder of fucking wrong and off base y'all are....)

Let's face it - how your parents managed to potty train you (or did they?) is the seventh wonder of the world...

I mean I guess if you REALLY stretched shit, maybeee.....and I do think she's opted to live in the Barfie Dreem House cuz she somehow thinks it will cleanse her, buuuuttt....

I absolutely, positively do not remotely understand why/how Hal's grooming Kid Slizzy to be a psycho killah (which he's kinda accomplished to an extent!) is why she decided to choose to cheat (and had already been laying the framework to do so/rationalize it, LBR, for months) on her loyal, loving, stabilizing BF, while HE had PTSD from nearly being MURDERED (so if anybody had an out for using "trauma" to cheat, it would've been Jug) for the second time.

The FWB? A combo of she's a slutty prostitute who views sex in a very transactional manner....in fact seems to have ONLY seen as something NOT transactional with Jughead. That was also about continuing to hurt Jughead and that, again, she's a literal whore.

It only ended because she wasn't getting to be Fascist Princess around town....

So I guess in terms of self cleansing, maybeee? But not really.

Oh and this will not be confronting trauma in a positive way. This will be trauma potentially destroying them.

I love how stupid you all are