#Mad Baggins

[nastiiuu]

The Durin Line is useless

#bagginshield #lotr #hobbit #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #fili and kili #tauriel #my art #they all suffer madness and obsession #protect fili before he falls to it #anyway they all use all their brain cells when faced with the love of their life #everyone suffers from cringe

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Bilbo who braids Thorin's hair as he fucking dies. Bilbo who can't seem to get his hands to stop shaking but he just has to put the braid in now, before it's too late because they said they would. Bilbo who had the stupid, silver beads in his pocket, ready, because there was never supposed to be a war just a wedding.

I just can't stop thinking about how, sure, there were some rocky moments but that's all they were supposed to be; moments. Bilbo was sure they were going to pass. They were going to work through it. Why else would he be growing out his hair when normally it drove him mad after a certain point?

Thorin who passes gently, peacefully, with the sloppiest, most blasphemous braid in his hair which nobody dares to touch. Thorin who promises to return the favour in the afterlife but in the meantime please do it for me, ghivashel. Thorin whose final breaths are vows.

Bilbo who goes home and learns how to braid. Bilbo who never cuts his hair again.

ANYWAY I'M GOING TO SOB NOW!

#bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield #thorin x bilbo #the hobbit #Dizzy hc's #Dizzy goes mad #y'all I can't stop thinking about them

[sandinthepipes]

Me shaking Peter Jackson by the shoulders like a stuck vending machine: IF THEY'RE NOT GAY WHY EVERYTHING ELSE? WHY PETER? WHAT IS THAT?

#i have OPINIONS about the artistic choices in the hobbit movie #i just wome up from a bagginshield dream #and then laid there for like 20 minutes staring at the ceiling replaying all the events from the movie #like thorin right the middle of his gold madness gifts bilbo the second most valuable thing in the entire mountain #a fucking CHAINMAIL SHIRT OF MITHRIL #IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOLD MADNESS #and then what whas all that talk in the tunnels where they look at each other like they hung the moon???????? #thorin the eagles?????????? #HE WAS-?????????????? #absolute madness from mr peter Jackson that's what I'm saying #and it's not like you can say 'oh but the book' #the book doesn't even have 1/10th of that whole homoerotic shit #lotr is full of homoeroticism but the hobbit? certainly not between thorin and bilbo #mr peter jackson please i am begging on my knees can you please explain your artistic choices to me becauae I'm loosing sleep over it #bagginshield #the hobbit #thorin x bilbo #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #thorin #bilbo

[dumbf1sketches]

Lando always chokes when it matters most. we love to see it. he got outqualified by a rookie and is not even top 3 in the 2nd fastest car. fraudo

Thank you anon I love getting requests!

No I don't know how iPhone messages work

#i debated putting it behind a cut because i blurred it AND put pants on Carlos #but we don't want to shock anyone who's just tucking into their breakfast rn #I'll save that for if anyone wants to see the uncensored image with all its ummmm #juices #so mad at anon because I've been saying Fraudo Baggins on my head all day #carlando #q-ing this for the dead of night lol #and honestly I'm so offended that anon just copy pastes the most lukewarm take #i once walked into work with a spot and a 3 year old went “oh no! and you were already so ugly” #with the utmost sincerity #you think this ask even comes close? #my art #ask

[bioluminesced]

ring bearers

#my art #lotr #lord of the rings #the two towers #samwise gamgee #sam gamgee #frodo baggins #frodo #ow. ouch. ow ow ow ow #Sound of my psychic damage at this scene. so evil but so good #i was mad at the tts movie bc it doesnt live up to the book but i really liked this moment #grappling with the rings corruption of frodo #and how can i forget ‘Don’t you know your Sam?’ #leave it to me to get hyperfixated on the thing every gay person read at age 13

[kierancaz]

“It is a gift. A token of our friendship.” No bitch that was a proposal.

#grow a pair Thorin and just admit it for what it was #you want to MARRY HIM #ik he’s going mad rn but every time Thorin smiles a Bilbo even the slightest my heart gives out a little #tbh I really love all the dwarves they’re so ????? #maybe it’s just bc I’ve watched the movie like 3 times a week for the last month but I love them all so much now #for reference I didn’t care that much about them when I watched for the first time #and on a slightly random note I wanna know more about Legolas mom ???? #back to bagginshield I wonder what their wedding would have looked like #IMAGINE THORIN WITH HIS ABSOLUTLY HUGE HANDS TRYING TO BRAID BILBOS HAIR BC THATS DWARVISH TRADITION #AND HES JUST STUGGLING SO HARD BC BILBOS HAIR IS SO SHORT AND HIS HANDS ARE SO BIG HE CANT GET A GOOD GRIP ON THE HAIR #bilbo: Thorin you don’t have to everyone alread knows we’re married #Thorin: NO I have to do this #he’s not a quitter. he’s never been a quitter. he’s not letting a few stands of hair beat him even if it IS bilbos hair #he has to teach bilbo how to braid tho bc he doesn’t know #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #bilbo x thorin #thorin x bilbo #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield #thorin and company #lotr dwarves #jrr tolkien #tolkien #fili durin #kili durin #fili and kili #thorin durin

[greeneyed-thestral]

#bilbo like let me check yup he mad #the hobbit #hobbit #bilbo #bilbo baggins #thorin #thorin oakenshield #gandalf #bilbo/thorin #thorin/bilbo #bilbo x thorin #thorin x bilbo #bagginshield #an unexpected journey #auj #martin freeman #richard armitage

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

Samwise the Brave!

#Samwise Gamgee #Samwise the Brave #Sam #Gamgee #Frodo Baggins #Frodo #Baggins #Mount Doom #The One Ring #One Ring #LotR #The Lord of the Rings #Lord of the Rings #Footprints in the Sand #Lord #footprints #One ring to rule them all #The Mad Sonneteer #Bud Koenemund

[frankennon]

Bilbo: Help! I think I made Thorin angry!

Kili: You came to the right person.

#incorrect quotes #the hobbit #because i think it'd be funny #that Kili always makes Uncle Thorin mad #Kili #bilbo baggins #thorin x bilbo #Thorin #thorin oakenshield

[planethobbit]

#mads makes shit #you guys would appreciate this more than twitter did i think #lotr #frodo baggins

[mercutiotakethewheel]

where is that post about how sad it is when the adventuring party splits up to go home. i need it. reading the hobbit again and im reaching the end and having a bad time about it already. bilbo can never go home. why the fuck does he even try? move in with your buddy balin bro. sign frodos adoption papers in erebor. theres nothing to return to. your home has forever been robbed of its comfort and safety. three of your friends are about to die while your conked out of your ass. the only living family member you love is going to die too. and leave you his son and beloved nephew. but youve already brought his doom and your doom home with you. and when he cant return home either, it will be because of you. you will never be happy satisfied or content. you will spend the rest of your life wandering restlessly telling the same story over and over again editing yourself for 60 years until its no longer the same tale. you go to elf heaven, dragging your nephew and your old friends son with you. you become the shriveled creature you found in that cave all those years ago and you almost lose your nephew to it too. and all you took home with you is a chest and your doom. are you gimli’s uncle too? do any of the dwarves but balin ever visit you? is balin even alive when the fellowship starts?

#im not well besties #kenny read one book without just deciding its a tragedy challenge #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #this is supposed to be a comfort read #i need a fucking job and fast #so i can be mad about different shit

[lordoftherazzles]

If you’re wanting some MM prompts…I’ve got the best one 👀

“Which one do I hit?!”

Little drabbles with less than 1k words is my goal for these March Madness prompts, and that's hard to do for me! 😂😂😂 So, small snapshots of scenes from various AUs, and this one is from one you can appreciate. (Bookbinder//Songwriter, huehuehuehue)

Each day was different. A routine had been set and while sometimes that routine needed to be jostled around and tweaked for the unexpected, Bilbo was excited for it. For instance, every Sunday evening was dedicated to cooking together (but more importantly, teaching Thorin how to cook anything at all without burning the place to the ground) and enjoying a movie or catching up on shows. Mondays and Wednesdays were dedicated to band practice, and sometimes Fridays and Saturdays for gigs, and then you had Tuesday for Bilbo’s newfound book club–which Thorin insisted on attending. So that left Thursdays for a little them time.

Or ‘Game Night’ as Bilbo had offered up.

Now, going into the idea of ‘game night’, it didn't revolve around sports, but actual games, whether of the board variety or electronic. Sometimes they had guests over for cards or board games, whether it was Dis and the boys, or some of Thorin’s bandmates. But sometimes it was nice to keep things quiet for just the two of them, and if Thorin or Bilbo were feeling particularly impish…well, playing with one another made something of a game…didn’t it?

Today’s idea of game night had been simple. They’d ordered takeout, plopped onto the sofa, and well, in Bilbo’s case, he was currently watching Thorin struggle with a controller in his hands. The poor guy was hunched over, his fingers moving along the buttons and joysticks with no real idea of what he was doing, and the way his face was scrunched up nearly had Bilbo in a fit of tears.

“Which one do I hit!?” Thorin barked, annoyed from here to kingdom come.

“The one that’s hitting you!” Bilbo shouted with a laugh infiltrating his voice as he pointed to the screen where poor Thorin’s character was being massacred by a giant, a bear, and some lone soldiers along a cobblestone road. “This is why you don’t aggro everything you see–”

“They aggroed me first!”

The sound of a growl from the television had Thorin shrieking, and as Bilbo’s eyes caught a glimpse of the agitation, as well as the panic settling in, his lips kept twitching in amusement. Right until that sound he had heard tonight time and time again rang from the television. There went Thorin’s character sailing into the sky after having been launched by a giant’s club like a very epic game of golf.

Luckily, Bilbo was quick to jut his hands out to clasp over Thorin’s before an expensive controller could be thrown. “Let’s…not do that.”

“I hate this fucking game. I’m no good at it!” Thorin lamented as he let Bilbo take the game controller from him before slouching into the sofa in as dramatic of a display as ever. His hands rubbed at his eyes and an annoyed groan escaped his lips. “When you suggested game night, I thought you meant something like…checkers.”

“Wow, and they say I’m the boring one,” Bilbo sighed with a roll of his eyes. “Just give it some time, you’ll get the hang of it if you really want to.” All it took was practice, just like everything else in life. “If you can learn to play the guitar as well as you do, you can learn to play a few video games, and not suck, I promise.” Leaning back and against Thorin’s side, nuzzling up beneath the dramatic musician’s chin, Bilbo gently plopped that controller onto his boyfriend’s stomach before glancing upward to catch a bit of Thorin out of the corners of his eyes. “We can play a different game? One with less shouting, both in game and on the sofa?”

“No, no, I’m going to get it,” Thorin huffed, partially annoyed, but some of that moodiness about him had been quelled by the close snuggling that came his way. “When do I get to fight a dragon?”

“After you learn basic controls, and stop poking giants…and bears…and random NPCs–” Poked right in the belly, Bilbo gave an involuntary squeak before his eyes flashed somewhat dangerously at Thorin’s cheeky face. “On second thought, go poke all of them and leave me out of this.”

It was Bilbo’s annoyed little sigh that truly sent Thorin chuckling. Sometimes it was easier to tease than to be teased, wasn’t it? Cocking an eyebrow at the glare he was still receiving, he had determined then and there to give this game night thing another try, even if it meant being launched into the virtual sky by an angry giant. “When we’re done here tonight, I’m going to be the greatest Dragonborn to ever live.” After all, who didn’t love the idea of becoming a world-famous dragon slayer? Even if that reality was saved for the virtual world.

“You are very good at shouting.”

“Only when I’m with you, of course,” Thorin teased, a rise and fall of his brows before being smacked in the chest as another exasperated sigh left his boyfriend at the implication, but if he wasn’t mistaken, the corners of Bilbo’s lips were turned upward. Not that he had ever been truly annoyed. “Alright–” sitting forward, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth, Thorin returned to his hunched over state of concentration, “–now, walk me through this again?”

With a little patience (on both of their parts) and determination, game night would become a success. No checkers necessary!

#raz answers #sunnyrosewritesstuff #bagginshield #thilbo #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #modern!au #fic: bookbinder//songwriter #razzledrabbles #not quite the battle prompt people probably imagined huh? #i really just want to help boost my agenda for this march madness thing

[spock-smokes-weed]

What gets me about Sam and Frodo’s relationship and their journey to Mordor is that Frodo never believed they were going to make it, at every turn he talked about how it was such an impossible feat for them to pull it off, while Sam always kept hope that they could do it. Sam’s hope and ability to keep Frodo’s spirits up despite the dire situation is why he’s so good and their relationship is so beautiful.

Frodo is struggling every day to keep his head above water, struggling to resist the ring while walking miles and miles right into the enemies hand, he has no room to hope with what he’s going through, so Sam hopes for him. He really does hold Frodo’s life in his hands and makes sure he can see it through to the end and make it out on the other side. His love for his friend is what got them up mount doom, to the point where he’s literally carrying him…. Bro I’m not okay.

#lord of the rings #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #sorry homies I just finished reading the end of sam and frodo’s journey and im emotional #sam being like ‘I’ll carry him until my back breaks’ and frodo being so messed up and out of it makes me so AHHHHHHHH #I’m not crying ur crying #also when gandalf cried out ‘the bringer barer has completed his quest!!!’ #i have to close the book for a minute because oh my g-d the little mad lad did it #he did it!!! against all odds he did it!!! 😭❤️

[big-gandalf-energy]

writing a different bilbo for fanfics is fun and all but I am once again appreciating how bothered and fussy canon bilbo is

#my beloved blorbo #blorbo baggins <3 #once more: #i love this awkward little bastard #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #chapter 1 #hobbit reading liveblogging #tolkien #He can't decide if he should be annoyed by everything or entranced by thorin's mad harp skills and smoke rings #thilbo #thorin x bilbo

[pollyna]

au in which Thror gives Thorin in marriage to Dwalin, of all the people, and they spent the next seventy-five years living the most scandalous marriage ever, even if most of it is just rumours. They call each other husband when the title is the least appropriate and Dwalin makes very not-so-explicit jocks about what he's going to do to the future king once they're alone, around every important person they meet and once. Once they, both of them, almost proposed a threesome to Thranduil and Dìs choked on her wine. The best part, as Thorin always says to his mother, is that they scandalise the court and then spent entire hours laughing about what they did, sharing a bed so big they could have slept in all the positions they wanted and still have all the space to be comfortable.

The fall of Erebor changes everything and they change with it. They still call each other husband whenever they can but now it's more serious and more composed, neither of them laughs as much as they did before and, along the road, they both lose more friends and family than they're comfortable speaking about. They still share a room and a bed but most of the time are made of their capes and the tiny hope to find a way to reclaim their home. Khazad-dûm signs another step, even bigger than before, and now Thorin is king, without all his people and his mountain. That day, in a matter of hours, he lost his king, his father, his brother and his brother-in-law and Dwalin was a close call, in the middle of them.

(Balin is going to tell Bilbo, decades later, that that was the moment he knew he could have followed Thorin to hell and back because he was deserving of his loyalty just like a true king can be. What Thorin remembers of that day, those days, it's the fear, the blood, so much blood, Dwalin's body in the middle of the others and no one them getting up, none of them answering his desperate calls.)

Ered Luin becomes their home, even if it takes other blood, other tears and so much hard work to even arrive at the end of the day that Thorin finds it difficult to believe that that was the best place to start again. Every winter is longer than the one before, work is a little harder to find and Men tend to pay them less and less. On top of that, every Lord of the Mountain has to say his, her or their bit about this or that matter leaving Thorin with no time at all for his family or sleeping. Most of the nights, when he finally comes home, Dwalin is already sleeping, sometimes cuddling Fìli or Kìli or both of them, and Thorin can just lie on his back and try to sleep without making much fuss. Other nights the bed is cold because Dwalin is out for his job and his nephews are already sleeping and everything seems almost too quiet to scare him.

A decade passed, and then another, Dìs is back drawing jewels for rich people and the money is a little more but still just enough to let them breathe. Dwalin twirls his hair between his tattooed finger, you're getting white husband, and Thorin can't do anything if not laughing, if you think me going white is a reason enough to ask for divorce you're sorely mistaken and I should have done that when you shaved your head.

(They already talk about it, the two of them, if the time should come and one, or both, should find his One Thorin would concede an annulment of the marriage. Dwalin had laughed because aye but stop trying to get read of me, oh husband of mine. It happens, in the end, after almost a century of marriage. Dwalin saves Ori, even if he still doesn't know his name, from a falling rock and Ori invites him for tea, as thank you, and so it starts. It takes Dwalin six months to ask for the divorce, and Thorin is hugging him so hard against his chest because I'm so happy for you my dear, but they never stops calling each other husband. When asked Ori answers he doesn't have a problem with it because Dwalin calls him in so many other sweet ways.)

Now they're both laughing, their forehead touching and, for a couple of moments, their back in the hall of Erebor, so young and without a single concern, scandalising people and training at dawn and cuddling even in the middle of summer when both of them were already all muscles and lost altogether their delicate complexion while getting tattoos and piercings in memories of great deeds they did. Scandalising everyone and fighting with the strength of an army against any enemy of their home, begin called the Prince and his Husband by the rest of the soldiers and living up to the next day, the next battle, to hold each other's hand while Oìn closes another future scar.

It ends, or maybe it just begins again, when Thorin comes to Bag End. He's walking non-stop for two days and his feet hurts so bad he could probably just sit on the grass and wait for someone to rescue him but, after only three tries, he comes to his designated destination. He can hear all the voices coming from inside the house, he can hear his nephews and all the merry band he and Bailn created in the last two years but, most of all, he can hear Dwalin laughing and his heart feels a little lighter now and his feet hurt a little less. He almost doesn't notice the hobbit when he finally can enter the house, too worried to run and not to make a bad impression in front of his ex-husband. He doesn't remember the last time he had time for a decent bath and his hair are all over the place and Thorin knows he's being dumb because it's Dwalin he's thinking about and they saw each other in the worst of the situations, they were married for so long!, but he still giddy and his emotions are all over the place, but he can do it, can't he? They saw each other a little shy over two and half years before, at the beginning of the search for the people of the quest and he misses him. But Dwalin smiles at him, just a couple of tattoos he doesn't recognise and their foreheads touch and everything is out of phase for a little while. Dwalin who still calls him husband and still has on his braid even when he wears Ori's too, Dwalin who, after the quest, will address as Consort and he will laugh back because not any more lads, but still he will do and say all the right things to make him go red in the face in front of his allies and his One, without being crass (not that much at least).

(That same night, or maybe during one of them, Nori will explain to Bilbo that they used to be married, because of his grandfather, and about how people tried to avoid them together because one could never know what they were going to say and how, after all, Ori come in the scene because of falling rocks and Thorin had considered one of the few divorces of their history. Bilbo will sit and listen, trying to grasp how it would feel to have someone like that to share an entire life or at least a good part of it.) (He's going to find out, a little over a year and a half later when Thorin will finally leave his bed in the tent and start addressing all the problems and the work Erebor needs to be livable again. He will discover how Dwalin must have felt having Thorin and Ori as part of his life when, one afternoon, Thorin is going to invite him over for tea and gift him with the first of the courtship braids, smiling so softly to almost breaking Bilbo's heart. He will discover it and it's going to be another adventure altogether. He will go to Dwalin, at some point or another, to ask for advice for the better gift for his One, even if hobbits don't have a One, and Dwalin will laugh and teach him own to work in the forge, even if the results won't be promising, at least at the beginning.)

#thorin oakenshild #dwalin #platonic wedding #platonic dworin #<- one of my favs #thror does what a mad king does #arranged marriage #did i give them almost a century of platonic marriage? bet your ass i did #dwarrows are demiaro and demisexual #fìli & kìli #ori #the company #dìs #dwalin x ori #canonical character death #pre quest #erebor #ered luin #and i made an entire race on the aroace spectrum too #bilbo baggins #implied future thilbo #thorin x bilbo #otp: come knocking at my door (i'm home i'm home) #bagginshield #ironquill #three weeks of falling asleep on this but apparently i finally put it on writing lol #what a prompt #the hobbit #twt (aka timeline what timeline)

[fatdogs-supremacy]

I’ve come to realise from watching the last two films on channel 5 I must have watched the extended editions first.

Mainly considering the fact it missed out the funny bit of Dain? (Thorin cousin) calling his weapons the old twirly wirlies

Ngl for a good two films I thought i was making stuff up.

#i thought I was watching the theatrical realease first #clearly not lmao #what the actual fuuuuuck #I genuinely thought I was making shit up #thought I’d gone mad like thorin #lmao #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield