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#Mari: I thought it was funny at the time
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David, pointing at Killian and Emma: They're holding hands!
Mary Margaret: Sometimes married people do that, or so I've been told.
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nazumichi · 6 months
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year two of shirou halloween suffering, give it up for year two
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starryluminary · 8 months
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I’ll be eighty seven, you’ll be eighty nine
I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky
Oh my, my, my
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emp-blast · 2 years
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saintlesbian · 11 months
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god forbid a lil sheepy has a fun weekend
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zombvibes · 11 months
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taking the mary sue litmus test for my teammateswap guys because i think it'd be funny
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m0e-ru · 9 months
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ai dudebro friend wanna tell me how cloning voices are cool and i get jumpscared with autoplaying wav file of the shittiest generated cover to Idol the world has ever heard
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krenia · 10 months
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Paying my brains pretty girl tax once more with more Marie art
She's my comfort oc at this point huh,,
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arabaka · 1 year
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In that pic you just posted Reigen looks like he's doing that thing guys who are self conscious about their jawlines do to try and make them seem more prominent in photos.
*₊˚💬୧ stop you're so right... reigen takes myspace-angle selfies
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professorsta · 2 years
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Ahem,
I LOVE RYAN BERGARA!!!!!!!
That is all
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shinyspacepirate · 1 year
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Okay, my other favorite thing about reading Frankenstein is doing it from this thrift store copy that was annotated by what I can only assume was a high school student for an english class.
The way this kid is constantly roasting Victor in the margins after the creation of the creature has me cracking up.
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seelestia · 2 years
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ALSO WHATS THIS ABOUT GENSHIN OC YES I'M LISTENING
UMMMM. i may or may not have developed a merman oc while harmlessly scrolling thru enkanomiya's lore <//3
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nazumichi · 2 years
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marie asking michiru if she has “man problems” in the manga is so funny, because there is no way it’s genuine. she clocked that shirou cares about michiru/is playing the role of parent, maybe even before they did (“the real ‘partner’ seems to care a lot about her”), and you expect me to believe she genuinely was about to give michiru guy advice (not for free) because she believed she needed it……… michiru “you’re amazing, nazuna” kagemori…..
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xanothersideblogx · 1 year
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POV: you're sitting in bed and talking about shit with your best friend/fwb
"Do you wanna play miss mary mack?"
"No but I do wanna cum on your tits"
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 day
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Shirt Swap V
Magdalena Eriksson x Child!Reader
Fridolina Rolfö + Zećira Mušović x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: After the Denmark-England game
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By the time you've been returned to Magda and the Swedish girls, you're high on sugar, still wearing Keira Walsh's shirt and finding everything unbelievably funny.
Pernille dumps you in Magda's arms, kisses her softly before hurrying off.
Magda looks at you with wide eyes.
"Where's Rocky?" You ask her.
"What?" She says," No hello for your Morsa?"
You shrug. "Hi, Morsa. Where's Rocky?"
She sighs. "Up in our room. Did you have fun at the match?"
You nod, pulling on your shirt. "Keira Walsh gave me her jersey, see?"
"I can see. And what's this one?"
There's another jersey bundled up in your hand and Magda has an inkling of whose it is.
"Mary Earps!" You chirp," She's England's keeper! She's going to win keeper of the year."
Magda laughs, hefting you a bit higher as she makes her way back into the dining hall. "Is she now?"
You nod. "She is. I know she is."
"You used to know Earps, you know. When you were little."
You frown as Morsa sits down at her table with Frido and Zećira. "No, I didn't."
"Yes you did. Earps used to play with your Momma at Wolfsburg. The same time as Caro did and you remember Caro."
"I don't remember Mary."
"That's okay." Morsa starts to place some food onto your plate. "You were very, very little. I'm still surprised you remember Caro so well."
"Caro's cool," You insist," She scores goals like Momma and talks like Ingrid."
"And Mary isn't?"
"She's cool!" You insist," But I didn't know I knew her when I was very little."
"I've got pictures." Morsa shows you pictures sent from Momma when you were younger.
You were a pudgy baby, you think. Your cheeks are full and your head is kind of big but Morsa's right. There's lots of pictures of you and Mary Earps.
She looks younger too, like you, but she is holding you and she is smiling.
You think for a moment. "Can I wear her shirt please?"
Moster Frido laughs. "I thought Keira Walsh is your favourite player in the world. Are you telling me you'll swap her shirt for someone else's?"
You rolls your eyes. "Keira Walsh isn't my favourite player in the world. My favourite player in the world is Zećira."
Zećira reaches out for a high five that you happily give her.
"Oh, silly me," Frido laughs," But Keira Walsh is your second favourite though. Are you sure you want to swap her shirt for Earps'?"
You give her another condescending look that really has Frido wondering if you were really Magda's because the expression was all Pernille.
"They're only shirts, moster," You say, patting her hand in a way that somehow makes Frido feel like a little child," I don't have to wear them forever."
Zećira snickers. "Yeah, Frido, she doesn't have to wear them forever."
Morsa laughs but helps you change right at the table as you cram food into your mouth.
"Can I wear this one to bed?" You ask her when your head pops through the neck hole and she laughs.
"You're asking me but I don't think you're actually asking me, are you?"
You give her a toothy grin and she ruffles your hair.
"Momma says it's always polite to ask."
"Yes, you can wear Earps' shirt to bed."
You go back to your food, interspersed with accounts of the game and how worried you were when Keira Walsh went down with her knee.
"Morsa," You say randomly," Can Rocky sleep in bed with me?"
Frido and Zećira start laughing, almost hysterically, at the stricken look on Magda's face at your question.
"No, princesse," She says," You can't sleep in bed with Rocky."
"That's okay," You reply," I was only asking to be polite."
Magda chokes on her drink, suddenly feeling out of depth in her parenting here. None of the books ever covered what to do when your child was asking (or really telling) you about sleeping with her pet rock.
"Princesse," She says," I don't-"
"That's a great idea!" Zećira butts in with a grin that makes Magda's eye twitch in outrage," Why don't we go bring Rocky down here and show him your new shirts!"
You quickly wiggle out of your seat and hold your hand out to Magda. "Keycard, please, Morsa."
"No," Magda says, still scrambling to keep in control of the situation," You're not bring the rock down here."
You shrug and turn to Frido. "Keycard, please."
Frido, the traitor, hands over the keycard and you skip off with Zećira to grab Rocky.
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dirtyyoungthing · 9 days
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they say that older men do it better, and by god, they fucking do.
as some of you know, i’ve only ever been with one person. never really been one for hookups or anything like that, but i figure i’m young, in the prime of my life… why not fool around? i, after consulting my roommate, downloaded an app for hookups and set my age range up a bit. 30+.
this app allows you to list kinks and sexual preferences, but i really wanted to make sure i left the proper hints about myself around my profile. cute gifs. a question about preferred sexual positions, to which i replied, “mating press, or any position that makes me feel small and helpless.” i made sure to use my cutest photos, showing off my glossy lips and sweet doe eyes, my hair pulled into cute handles pigtails. before long i was scrolling and swiping through the app, lounging in bed as i daydreamed about getting my sweet little cunt pounded by an older man.
i didn’t have the app for more than an hour or two before i got the notification that i had gotten a match. i couldn’t help but kick my feet a bit when i checked to see who it was… he was older, handsome, tall, with really gorgeous long hair. his profile was one of the first ones i had seen; it was funny and made me laugh, and he couldn’t help but lightly boast about his big dick (energy). how could i not like him?
he sent me a message commenting on the position i had mentioned on my profile, saying that it seemed to fit well with breeding kinks. he also asked me if i was a squishmallow fan, and i couldn’t help but giggle.
[🫣 is it that obvious? i used to collect, but not so much anymore.]
[It is, but in a good way! You just had that cute plush kinda look!]
it was then i knew that this man would make me whine and whimper into his mattress. i couldn’t help but curl my toes a bit at the thought. we flirt a bit more, he shows me photos of some of the plushies he owns. i compliment them and say that, “everyone needs something soft and squeezable to get them through their days.”
[You look soft and squeezable js 🥴]
i need to fuck this man.
[i definitely definitely am 🤭 maybe you could find out just how soft and squeezable sometime?]
[I would LOVE that. I could totally also get you a plushie too.]
[oh gosh, i couldn’t accept anything from you 😭 you’re so so sweet though!!]
[Good girls deserve to be rewarded 😌]
….oh GOD!!!!!
he asks me if i’ve eaten, if i’m free tonight. we make plans for him to pick me up and take me to a restaurant right by his place. i give him my number and hop in the shower. if i wasn’t under such a time crunch i would have taken the time to touch my aching, excited little cunt as i cleaned my body, but i had to focus.
picking what to wear on a date is difficult. picking what to wear on a date when you know you’re going to get possibly the best dick you’ve gotten in your life is torture. does this look good? how does this make my chest look? ugh, i hate my arms in this top! my roommate, angel that she is, saved my night and my sanity by lending me the cutest outfit. a tight tile printed dress with spaghetti straps, which i wore a white t-shirt under. she also lent me a pair of platform mary janes for the evening. it had been a minute since i had worn anything so tall, and i couldn’t help but teeter a bit. it made me feel all the cuter though. a cute little bimbo like me, stumbling around in shoes i can hardly walk in so an older man can fuck my sweet little pussy… i shook the thought away as i did my makeup. focus!!!
i gave him my address, and he arrived on time in a really really nice car. he got out to greet me and gave me a sweet hug, and i couldn’t help but notice how he towered over me. my thighs clenched together as i felt myself get wet (or maybe wetter…). we got into the car and on the road. he’s so funny, and so so charming. he puts his hand on my thigh and i swear i nearly passed out. i pushed away thoughts of palming him through his jeans, of taking his cock out and sucking it right there in the car… focus up, girl!!
he was so wonderful. at one point, i’m talking about something that was probably unimportant (as most things i say tend to be), and he grabs my hand and starts pressing gentle, tender kisses to my fingers. i clenched my thighs a bit tighter as i lost my train of thought and trailed off.
we arrive at the restaurant, which is thankfully very close to his place. he parks and comes around to open my door, and we walk hand in hand into the restaurant. his hand is so much bigger than mine… we get seated and order a crème brûlée to share, as we had talked about it on the ride there (it was fantastic btw, incase you’re wondering. you probably aren’t, but it’s my blog damn u and i will talk about whatever i want!!). the place is a bit loud, so we had to lean forward in order to hear each other when we talk. i loved being closer to him like that, and couldn’t help but crave more of it.
we finish the dessert and head to his place. he introduced me to his cats before we settled onto his couch to talk a bit more. at one point he pulls me close and we finally start kissing. i was worried about my kissing skills, but it was so easy to follow his lead, to whimper into his mouth as he bit my lower lip. my hands moved to finally, finally rub him through his pants. oh. oh my god. denim, as you are probably aware, is a constricting material, but even as his cock strained against the fabric i could tell he was big.
we moved to his bedroom after a bit more kissing and rubbing. he moved around me, kissing on my neck, using his mouth’s hot air in ways i never realized were possible. i felt myself become cute little putty in his hands. i wanted to be the best little girl for this man i possibly could be. he did me the favor of removing his impossible belt, and i got onto my knees on the floor as i undid the button and zipper to his pants. i pulled his jeans down and rubbed the tent in his boxers for a moment before finally sliding them down. his cock sprang forth, and i swear i felt my jaw drop. oh dear sweet whatever you are in the sky, thank you. thank you so fucking much. he was huge. i had never seen anything that big in person before, and if i’m being honest, i was a little intimidated. i felt confident in my blowjob skills, but my last partner was considerably smaller. c’mon. be a big girl. you can do it.
i take his cock in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it as i do my best to take him deep down my throat. the noises he made, oh god… i swear i still hear them in my head randomly when i’m doing things around the house. i gagged a bit and pulled back, spitting out a bit of drool on his cock and using it as lube to jerk him off with while i caught my breath for a moment. “good girl,” he purred. i went right back to work, desperate and aching to hear more of his praise. i loved running my tongue over a certain spot on the underside of his cock; watching his eyes screw shut every time just got me wetter and wetter.
i could have sucked his cock for hours if he let me, but he pulled me off and held me in his arms so he could kiss me more as he helped me slide my clothes off. i’ll never forget his quiet, “oh, god,” as he finally saw my tits. he got my bra off and sucked on my sensitive nipples, flicking his tongue over the nub as i whined.
he had me lay on the bed and moved between my thighs. he pressed soft, tender kisses to my thighs that made my hips shift and buck in a desperate plea for him to please touch my pussy oh god please please please. finally, finally, he licks my cunt with a deft, practiced motion that could only come from experience an older man has. he fully devours me. the things this man could do with his mouth were downright sinful… i’ve never cum from oral before, but that night, after he slipped his fingers inside me, i couldn’t help but gush.
he moved to grab a condom, slipping it on before positioning himself on top of me. i felt my body tremble slightly at the prospect of taking something so large in my tight little cunt, but he was so sweet, so hot, that i knew i was wet enough. he ran the tip of his cock over my aching slit as i whimpered. slowly, ever so slowly, he slid into me. i find myself quivering just writing about it. i’m sure i was trembling under him, but after he bottomed out inside me my memory gets all fuzzy and it’s difficult to remember a whole lot.
i remember feeling so full, so fucking full as i moaned and cried out for him. i remember cumming over and over and over again on his huge cock. i remember sucking on his fingers as he pounded into me in an effort to keep me quiet (which like, half worked). i remember him caging his arms around me, growling in my ear as i begged him to cum, to breed me, to breed his little girl. we both came at the exact same time, moaning as our bodies melted together.
we catch our breath, clean up. he helps me find my discarded clothes in the pile that accumulated on his floor. i text my roommate and try to hide my smile.
[IM ALIVE]
[AND CAME]
[SO MUCH]
[SO MUCH TO TELL U]
[AHHHH YES BITCH]
he drives me home as we chat more, both still a bit breathless and awash with endorphins. once we arrive at my place, he opens my door once more and we kiss one final time before we say goodnight. i wish him a safe trip home as i limp to the door and let myself in. you know that thing that happens in movies, where the girl has a really good date, and she leans against the door after he leaves? i always thought that was silly, but… i just couldn’t help it.
the next day i’m out picking up dinner with a friend. we text a bit.
[Not at ALL complaining just still surprised at how dirty you are haha]
[you truly don’t know the half of it 🫣🤭💖]
[Tell me!]
[it might be better if i just, like, showed youuu?]
and then i sent him a link to this blog. and i felt like my heart was gonna sink into my stomach. i’m into some harder things, i didn’t wanna scare him off… my phone buzzed.
[I love this]
[thank GOD!! i was terrified you’d like, run for the hills or something 😭💕]
[I’m only disappointed about one thing…]
[hm?]
[You need to write about how good you got fucked last night]
when i tell you that my body essentially did a full factory reset…
[😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫]
[yes daddy]
[Good girl]
[Tell me when you post it]
he was hot. he was funny. he was dominant. he could make me cum so much my brain leaked out of my ears. and now he was giving me assignments. like a daddy should.
so now here i am, finishing up probably the longest piece of writing i’ve done in a long time. and there you are, reading it. hi. hope you had a good time.
i hope to see you again soon. 💖
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