#Martín teasing and defiant *provoking him* ''I'm getting a divorce!'' only for Andrés to grab him and pin him to the mattress/wall/floor

[shotgun-cake]

What are your headcanons for berlermo as a married couple?

The way this ask made a little "!!!" pop inside my brain.

I just went digging into old DMs from back when I was still riding the high of 'something stolen', and even though I never managed to write a wedding fic sequel, I do have a pretty good idea of what their married life is like.

• A lot of PDA, for one. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my end, but I'm focusing on the way they're always all over each other's space in the flashbacks, touching and embracing and staring at nothing but each other. That bubble of intimacy, like nothing else exists-- well, that, but multiplied by two wedding rings plus one honeymoon period that lasts for years and years.

It ranges from sweet to gross depending on who you ask. They're always kissing around the gang, holding hands or touching somewhere. Exchanging loaded looks, making innuendos. Straight up eclipsing themselves without a word exchanged, clearly on their way to more private quarters.

• I also have this idea of an inside joke between them: I think they'd find it hilarious to joke about the old 'Ball And Chain' cliché. Everyone was at their wedding, they know what an event it was and how madly in love they are with each other.

They don't find it funny, but Andrés does, especially if it's Martín who makes it a running gag.

"Ugh, gotta spend time with the hubby again, lord strike me dead, free me from this loveless marriage"

("time with the hubby" is probably something romantic like a candlelit dinner and a walk on the beach under the stars...)

Or one day, when Raquel asks "Are you free this afternoon? Paula asked if you could babysit her again", Martín makes a whole show of huffing and puffing.

"I can't today, querida. You know me, always stuck with that guy... He's dragging me someplace and I can't get out of it. Pffff, I should've never gotten married."

Raquel rolls her eyes at him and drops the subject.

That thing he couldn't get out of? A spa day planned out by his lovely husband, that starts out with a couple's massage, and ends with the two of them getting hot and bothered the large jacuzzi of their hotel room. There isn't even any particular occasion. This morning, Andrés just got up and declared “I'm taking you out tonight. You don't need to bring any clothes”

And Martín wrapped himself up in the bedsheets, pretending to shield his innocent body from this lecherous gaze he couldn't suffer. “How dare you, sir? I'm a married man!” The sound of Andrés's laughter echoed across the corridor, and Martín knew even before he smelled it that his husband was cooking some pancakes to bring back in bed.

So, really, Martín is doing fine with the state of his marriage.

#I know this is completely random but this is just obvious and hilarious to me #a married Martín who's had Andrés all to himself for years and has settled comfortably in that relationship #he's trusting and confident and arrogant about it frankly insufferable #repeating that he can't wait to leave Andrés and run off with his money to settle far away as a mysterious divorcé #like I said Andrés is amused by the jokes but I'm also considering him being low-key bothered by them? five divorces might do that to a man #do we want Andrés with insecurities? of course Andrés doesn't let himself be mocked #I think I once wrote a prompt fill where their household had a ''no D Word'' Rule (d word as in divorce) #maybe that's the reason #Andrés started making the jokes back and Martín didn't take it as well as he thought he would #or maybe all's well that ends well and there's just something kinky in it for them almost like provocation like roleplay #Martín teasing and defiant *provoking him* ''I'm getting a divorce!'' only for Andrés to grab him and pin him to the mattress/wall/floor #and have his wicked way with him making him swallow his words pounding into him #rendering Martín pliant and docile ''so you want to leave me #huh? i'll remind you who you belong to if that's a strong hand that you want'' #and Martín is just clinging to Andrés's shoulders moaning and throwing his head back desperately incoherent and blissed out #(okay i went off apparently) #married Berlermo was one of my first loves in this fandom so thank you anon for coming to me you definitely unearthed something there #ask #mine #berlermo #long post