#Mature Adult Men Women

[favmomnextdoor]

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[matoitech]

it’s obviously important for ppl to criticize misogyny particularly transmisogyny in trans male communities since thats a trans community issue but if ur also tme and the only thing u ever exclusively talk about trans men for is talking abt us as bigoted misogynists (usually there’s a ‘binary’ slapped in front of it) i genuinely think you need to put the phone down go outside and remember that whatever insane misogynist guys online are saying is not a necessarily a reflection of like things adult men outside of a weird fringe group of freak transmisogynist dudes on tumblr who think the boys should get our own word JUST like the GIRLS or its NOT FAIR!! or whatever (and one coined by a fucking terf at that..) are saying, or justification for behaving weirdly about an entire diverse community of trans people.

again i do not say this to like dissuade ppl from discussing legitimate problems but like a couple points- 'binary' trans men r capable of talking about it ourselves, and we do, and we’re not the ones whose posts get shared about it. and second: if you’re only bringing us up to talk abt how shitty particularly TRANS men are you might have a problem you need to deal with? this is not a shocking statement. like at some point someone has to point it out to you and sit there and take the shit and patiently explain to you it’s that the problem comes when its literally the ONLY thing you bring us up for and act like we're not capable of talking abt this ourselves, and that its a problem how comfortable ppl r for letting ppl speak over/for us if the only similarity they share w trans men is.. an agab and not being cis (yikes!). or if theyre transmasc and male aligned in some capacity but dont have any interest in engaging with or considering themselves a part of like trans men, THEYRE the ones who need to talk abt it, bcuz the (usually 'binary') Trans Men wont (not saying those ppl cant or shouldnt but they may be treated differently for doing so)

first ppl liked using transmeds existing to throw up justification for treating us like a bigoted monolith you (uniquely) Just Dont Feel Safe Around and its normal to make assumptions abt us being transphobic especially if we don't identify by labels deemed 'safe' and Inherently More Radical, and now its pretending we all collectively cant recognize our privilege thru our intense blinding hatred of women and its up to you to save us from ourselves and beat some common sense into the inherently bigoted stupid about gender patriarchy dicksucker boys. like i dont know im tired of it when trans men being accused of only existing bcuz we want to be patriarchy bootlickers i guess is always what radfems have thrown at us, so its not like this negative perception of trans men filtered thru a supposedly progressive lense is new. a lot of adult trans men dont talk abt like particular hot shit thats discussed a lot on here rn (the 'trans misandry' shit for example) bcuz its was not a problem in the spaces we're in and we knew it was stupid as fuck right away and barely worth talking about to say 'yeah you know that thing we all know is stupid and bullshit? its stupid and bullshit'. bcuz we're not fifteen years old or weird misogynists. we have brains, don't hate women, and we dont all know and hang around the same people.

anyway dont take this post as a stand in for serious discussion and calling out misogyny (again especially transmisogyny) w other men, those posts do need to exist, i am not trying to say this stuff shouldnt be talked about. what i'm specifically pointing out is a frustrating pattern in the perception of and discussion of trans men that ppl probably dont realize theyre participating in. i do think it is very important to talk abt community issues and criticisms but if its literally the one thing you bring up trans men for i think being aware of that behavior has no NEGATIVES here. also do have to bring up i specified other tme ppl early on bcuz this isnt smth ive experienced or seen from transfems and their position as like the affected party of transmisogyny is automatically like .. if they have issues w trans men it is pretty inherently coming from a different place than like, a cis womans, or a tme nonbinary person, or a transmasc person with issues with trans men, or a cis mans, etc. tme ppl who are on a very different ground here, whose behavior is straight up different anyway

#this isnt @ anyone this is like . a common thing rn #its a seperate post but i think ppls just total unawareness that trans men have made any contributions to like #academic discussion abt transphobia along with trans women (sometimes literally discussing our experiences together!) is kind of bizarr #u know online discourser misogyny boys r not reflective of the actual adult intersectional (cant remember if thats the right word its 2 am #lol) discussion of our experiences that MUST be done in order to have like any solid understanding of how to fix this shit #you cant just ignore the experiences of trans men and think ur understanding of gender is good lol #there r many ppl who r invested in talking abt it in a way thats like normal and mature #and it DEPENDS on trans womens experiences and pov too to make a more fully realized understanding of trans ppls lived experiences #and how we can fix cisnormativity and sexism and shit without pretending like disappearing gender is gonna do anything #except be boring as fuck and not realistic. what if we all lived in someone elses fantasy utopia that is not a utopia for a lot of transppl #and believing online discourse misogyny boys when they tell you no one else cares abt trans men but THEM >:( is like. dumb as fuck #there have been ppl discussing their experiences in an actually nuanced and Gives A Shit way for decades. academically. go find it

[raziraphale]

can't find it rn but I'm thinking about that post that was going around recently that pointed out that claiming anime is uniquely sexist or sexual and attributing that to japanese culture is racist as hell. that post is correct -- this isn't to dispute that but to add onto it -- and I think a part of that perception is how "anime" has been shaped into this weird consumer category by corporations, where it gets treated more like a genre than a medium (animation) of a particular style and context.

what comes to mind when we think of "anime" in the english-speaking world largely depends on what shows get licensed, translated, dubbed, and merchandised outside of japan. fan translations and bootlegs have always existed, but sanctioned releases from large companies bring larger audiences, so companies dictate to a certain extent what gets popular, and therefore the popular perception of "anime" as a category.

a lot of cool and unique things make their way over here, but do you know what a lot of it is? shounen. light novel adaptations about increasingly specific male power fantasies. action series. a lot of it is stuff made with teenage boys as the target demographic in mind. again, a lot of other anime exist, but when you think of the "blockbuster" series every season, it definitely skews more towards one gender.

if my exposure to american media was mostly limited to its most juvenile action movies and the lobbies of popular online shooters, I would also conclude that america is uniquely horny and has an issue with women. the only difference between america and japan in this respect is that, for whatever reason, the U.S. has largely relegated mainstream 2D animation to the kids' table outside of specific adult cartoons. there just really isn't a good american equivalent to the kind of shows people are most likely to think of when they think of "anime"

like this doesn't mean that popular anime don't have these issues with them -- you can (and should) critique media no matter where they come from. it also doesn't mean that attitudes and beliefs don't vary between countries and cultures. but the instinct to attribute the issues with (your idea of) anime to the country it came from first rather than considering the target audience of the specific show you're watching and comparing it to similar media in other parts of the world is definitely rooted in racism

you are sitting on your laptop watching the shounen anime du jour and thinking "wow, this is a country with no respect for women" while your younger brother is in the other room running over hookers in gta. maybe broaden your perspective of the issue beyond national borders

#sorry if this is incoherent it's 2AM and i'm trying to articulate a Thought #like the american anime licensing industry #is just the maturation of the bootleg anime fandom of the early internet #and most of it is made up of nerd boys and men #this isn't a value judgement just an observation #and these people decide what media to dedicate their resources to sharing more widely #and so the anime that's available inevitable reflects their tastes to a certain extent #very niche example but i remember being big into anime yt circles when sgrs was released #and it's a really good show and it was rightfully praised and recommended by the type of people who watch most seasonal anime #but it was always with the caveat (said either explicitly or implied) that it was good *for a show marketed to adult women* #like 'oh it's not what you think it's really good' #because female fans are expected to watch a lot of 'classics' and look past any questionable content #but shows for women have just a few series that get a stamp of approval for being 'not too girly that men can't enjoy' #as if that's the ultimate mark of quality #we should start gatekeeping male anime fans and tell them they're not real fans if they didn't watch [some random shoujo] #reilly.txt #making non-rebloggable just bc i'm not sure if this will end up in any searched tags and don't want randos #i'm open to discussion and criticisms but like... smaller circle than that lol #long post

[r0semultiverse]

I want Shinobu carnally 😳

#she could melt your clothes off too like 💜😳 #she's got super ninja flexibility too; just think about it #also big older women my beloved 😳😳 #I know there's so many jokes about how she's mature & I'm like yeah okay and?? you're making me want Shinobu more #even Sanji set aside his bs for a moment; that's how hot she is!!! #I have my issues with a lot of ways Oda draws various women; but even so; Shinobu can get it #it's like a similar appeal to men with large bellies I feel like; they just so hot & also plenty to cuddle & kiss #she also has major dsl going on & I just... I'm so normal about her beast pirates outfit in the wano arc #one piece #shinobu #mine #op #wano arc #cw adult things #cw adult stuff

[stevesellshomes]

Let’s Talk South Carolina Real Estate for Mature Adults

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[the-boy-branithar]

pet peeve is seeing someone use girl and man in the same sentence when referring to adults -_-

#theyre women. #adult women. #not little baby girls. #but then immediately turning around to refer to adult men as men is just so. #you are linguistically assigning maturity levels to people based SOLELY on gender

[hyperlexichypatia]

As I keep shouting into the void, pathologizers love shifting discussion about material conditions into discussion about emotional states.

I rant approximately once a week about how the brain maturity myth transmuted “Young adults are too poor to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own” into “Young adults are too emotionally and neurologically immature to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own.”

I’ve also talked about the misuse of “enabling” and “trauma” and “dopamine” .

And this is a pattern – people coin terms and concepts to describe material problems, and pathologization culture shifts them to be about problems in the brain or psyche of the person experiencing them. Now we’re talking about neurochemicals, frontal lobes, and self-esteem instead of talking about wages, wealth distribution, and civil rights. Now we can say that poor, oppressed, and exploited people are suffering from a neurological/emotional defect that makes them not know what’s best for themselves, so they don’t need or deserve rights or money.

Here are some terms that have been so horribly misused by mental health culture that we’ve almost entirely forgotten that they were originally materialist critiques.

Codependency What it originally referred to: A non-addicted person being overly “helpful” to an addicted partner or relative, often out of financial desperation. For example: Making sure your alcoholic husband gets to work in the morning (even though he’s an adult who should be responsible for himself) because if he loses his job, you’ll lose your home. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html What it’s been distorted into: Being “clingy,” being “too emotionally needy,” wanting things like affection and quality time from a partner. A way of pathologizing people, especially young women, for wanting things like love and commitment in a romantic relationship.

Compulsory Heterosexuality What it originally referred to: In the 1980 in essay "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/493756 Adrienne Rich described compulsory heterosexuality as a set of social conditions that coerce women into heterosexual relationships and prioritize those relationships over relationships between women (both romantic and platonic). She also defines “lesbian” much more broadly than current discourse does, encompassing a wide variety of romantic and platonic relationships between women. While she does suggest that women who identify as heterosexual might be doing so out of unquestioned social norms, this is not the primary point she’s making. What it’s been distorted into: The patronizing, biphobic idea that lesbians somehow falsely believe themselves to be attracted to men. Part of the overall “Women don’t really know what they want or what’s good for them” theme of contemporary discourse.

Emotional Labor What it originally referred to: The implicit or explicit requirement that workers (especially women workers, especially workers in female-dominated “pink collar” jobs, especially tipped workers) perform emotional intimacy with customers, coworkers, and bosses above and beyond the actual job being done. Having to smile, be “friendly,” flirt, give the impression of genuine caring, politely accept harassment, etc. https://weld.la.psu.edu/what-is-emotional-labor/ What it’s been distorted into: Everything under the sun. Everything from housework (which we already had a term for), to tolerating the existence of disabled people, to just caring about friends the way friends do. The original intent of the concept was “It’s unreasonable to expect your waitress to care about your problems, because she’s not really your friend,” not “It’s unreasonable to expect your actual friends to care about your problems unless you pay them, because that’s emotional labor,” and certainly not “Disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to be visibly disabled in public, because witnessing a disabled person is emotional labor.” Anything that causes a person emotional distress, even if that emotional distress is rooted in the distress-haver’s bigotry (Many nominally progressive people who would rightfully reject the bigoted logic of “Seeing gay or interracial couples upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public” fully accept the bigoted logic of “Seeing disabled or poor people upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public”).

Battered Wife Syndrome What it originally referred to: The all-encompassing trauma and fear of escalating violence experienced by people suffering ongoing domestic abuse, sometimes resulting in the abuse victim using necessary violence in self-defense. Because domestic abuse often escalates, often to murder, this fear is entirely rational and justified. This is the reasonable, justified belief that someone who beats you, stalks you, and threatens to kill you may actually kill you.

What it’s been distorted into: Like so many of these other items, the idea that women (in this case, women who are victims of domestic violence) don’t know what’s best for themselves. I debated including this one, because “syndrome” was a wrongful framing from the beginning – a justified and rational fear of escalating violence in a situation in which escalating violence is occurring is not a “syndrome.” But the original meaning at least partially acknowledged the material conditions of escalating violence.

I’m not saying the original meanings of these terms are ones I necessarily agree with – as a cognitive liberty absolutist, I’m unsurprisingly not that enamored of either second-wave feminism or 1970s addiction discourse. And as much as I dislike what “emotional labor” has become, I accept that “Women are unfairly expected to care about other people’s feelings more than men are” is a true statement.

What I am saying is that all of these terms originally, at least partly, took material conditions into account in their usage. Subsequent usage has entirely stripped the materialist critique and fully replaced it with emotional pathologization, specifically of women. Acknowledgement that women have their choices constrained by poverty, violence, and oppression has been replaced with the idea that women don’t know what’s best for themselves and need to be coercively “helped” for their own good. Acknowledgement that working-class women experience a gender-and-class-specific form of economic exploitation has been rebranded as yet another variation of “Disabled people are burdensome for wanting to exist.”

Over and over, materialist critiques are reframed as emotional or cognitive defects of marginalized people. The next time you hear a superficially sympathetic (but actually pathologizing) argument for “Marginalized people make bad choices because…” consider stopping and asking: “Wait, who are we to assume that this person’s choices are ‘bad’? And if they are, is there something about their material conditions that constrains their options or makes the ‘bad’ choice the best available option?”

#mad pride #neurodiversity #ableism #ageism #youth rights #liberation #disability rights #classism #capitalism #mental health culture #pop psychology #feminism #emotional labor

[indiapassiononlinestore]

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[favmomnextdoor]

#

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[bendgineer]

They did not "take away" Sokka sexism in the Netflix Avatar The last Airbender adaptation!l. They just made it more realistic to what sexism actually looks like in the real world.

In the original cartoon, Sokka's sexism is very one dimensional, a "women can't fight!!" attitude and he immediately gets humbled and learns he's wrong. It's a pretty simple depiction of misogyny, but it's good because after all, ATLA is a show for kids (that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it as an adult) but having a simple depiction of sexism = bad is perfect for what the show is.

However, it's very clear the Netflix adaptation is a bit more mature in tone and takes its themes a bit more serious. Its still "all ages" but I would not show it to young kids with the whole burning people alive stuff. So because it takes a more serious approach to the story, it also does so with Sokka's sexism arc! Instead of just being like "women can't fight!" he assumes by virtue of being a male who was handed a club, he is the equal of Suki and the Kyoshi warriors. He literally says this, that he thinks they are practically the same. Suki rightfully gets pissed about it! She has trained her entire life as an elite warrior. Him and her are NOT the same. And in this version, Sokka again, gets immediately humbled and learns he was wrong.

This version of sexism is waaaaay more accurate to the sexism we see around in modern society today though. We don't really see a ton of people saying women can't play sports, but that there's a lot of men who think just because they played a sport in highschool, they could match up equally with (or even beat!) a professional woman athlete. All just because they are a guy!!! And this is the sexism that Sokka exhibits, and is refuted! It's a GOOD change because it's showing sexism (and how wrong it is) in the subtle way it is more likely to show up as in the real world!

#natla #natla spoilers #netflix avatar #avatar the last airbender #sokka #atla #sexism

[harlequinnace-blog]

Throughout our entire adolescence women will be adultified. Told that we are ‘more mature’ than our male peers. More responsible, more reliable. We’ll be given tasks and responsibilities that are not expected of our brothers and barely expected of our fathers. The oldest daughter will start to clean and cook and take on child care duties for siblings. We listen to mother’s emotional outbursts of pain because ‘we just get it.’

And when a sixteen year old starts dating a man who’s been out of high-school as long or longer than she’s been there, this rhetoric can be used as justification. “Well she’s actually more mature than he is” her mother titters with a laugh. “He’s the only boy on her level” her father says sagely.

And I ask; how is the sixteen year old girl ‘more mature’ than the adult man who has years worth of life experience, the right to vote, drive a car and purchase liquor? What experiences, privileges, rights or understandings does the high schooler have on this man?

The answer is nothing she is simply more mature by virtue of being female. And isn’t that just so convenient for predatory men.

Why do girls mature faster than boys?

We don’t

Men just need a reason to justify expecting and extracting more from us earlier on in our lives.

#radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radical feminist safe #radical feminist theory #misandry #feminism #radical feminist #this post is directly based on a conversation I had with a my mothers friend who was trying to justify her fifteen year old daughter dating #a man who was three years out of highschool by saying she was more mature than him.

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

I read this week that Instagram is pushing “overtly sexual adult videos” to young users. For a Wall Street Journal investigation, journalists created accounts that could belong to children, following young gymnasts, cheerleaders and influencers. The test accounts were soon served sexual and disturbing content on Instagram Reels, alongside ads for dating apps, livestream platforms with “adult nudity” and AI chatbots “built for cybersex”. Some were next to ads for kids’ brands like Disney.

This is something I’ve been trying to get across to parents about social media. The problem is not just porn sites. They are of course a massive concern. Kids as young as nine are addicted. The average age to discover porn is now 13, for boys and girls. And many in my generation are now realising just how much being raised on porn affected them, believing it “destroyed their brain” and distorted their view of sex.

But the problem is bigger than that. Porn is everywhere now. TikTok is serving up sex videos to minors and promoting sites like OnlyFans. The gaming platform Twitch is exposing kids to explicit live-streams. Ads for “AI sex workers” are all over Instagram, some featuring kids’ TV characters like SpongeBob and the Cookie Monster. And there’s also this sort of “soft-porn” now that pervades everything. Pretty much every category of content that kids could stumble across, from beauty trends to TikTok dances to fitness pages, is now pornified or sexualised in some way for clicks.

I think this does a lot of damage to Gen Z. I think it desensitises us to sex. I think it can ruin relationships. But beyond that, I also believe a major problem with everything being pornified is the pressure it puts on young girls to pornify themselves. To fit the sex doll beauty standard; to seek validation through self-sexualisation, and potentially monetise all this like the influencers they’re inundated with.

Which, of course, puts girls at risk of predators. Predators who are all over TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat. Predators whose algorithms helpfully deliver them more content of minors and steer them towards kids’ profiles. Predators who are taking TikToks of underage girls and putting them on platforms like Pornhub.

And this is even more terrifying because adolescent girls are especially vulnerable today. They are vulnerable anyway at that age—but today they have far less life experience than previous generations of girls did. They are extremely insecure and anxious, and much less resilient. Combine this with the fact that they are now more easily exposed to predatory men than ever before in history, and served to strangers by algorithms. And another thing: girls are also able to look way older now. They have AI editing apps to sexualise themselves. TikTok filters to pornify their bodies. And access to every kind of make-up and hair and fashion tutorial you can think of to look sexier and more mature. I don’t think enough parents realise how dangerous this situation is.

Which is why I find it so frustrating to see some progressives downplay the dangers of all this. Those that dismiss anyone concerned about the pornification of everything as a stuffy conservative. And somehow can’t see how the continual loosening of sexual norms might actually empower predatory men, and put pressure on vulnerable girls? That seems delusional to me.

Let’s just say I have little patience for those on the left who loudly celebrate women sexualising themselves online, selling it as fun, feminist and risk-free, but are then horrified to hear about 12 year-olds doing the same thing. C’mon. No wonder they want to.

But I also find it frustrating to see some on the right approach this with what seems like a complete lack of compassion. I don’t think it helps to relentlessly ridicule and blame young women for sexualising themselves online. I don’t think it’s fair either. We can’t give girls Instagram at 12 and then be surprised when as young women they base their self-worth on the approval of strangers. We can’t inundate kids with sexual content all the time and be shocked when they don’t see sex as sacred, or think sex work is just work! We can’t give them platforms as pre-teens where they are rewarded for sexualising themselves and presenting themselves like products and then shame them for starting an OnlyFans. We can’t expose them to online worlds where everything is sexualised and then be confused why some of Gen Z see their sexuality as their entire identity.

And again, on top of these platforms, girls are growing up in a culture that celebrates all of this. They are being raised to believe that they must be liberated from every restraint around sex and relationships to be free and happy, and many have never heard any different. Celebrities encourage them to be a slut, get naked, make/watch porn and make money! Mainstream magazines teach them how to up their nude selfie game! Influencers tell millions of young followers to start an OnlyFans, and pretend it’s about empowering young girls to do whatever they want with their bodies! I can’t say this enough: their world is one where the commodification and sexualisation the self is so normalised. It’s heartbreaking. And cruel that anyone celebrates it.

So sure, young women make their own choices. But when we have children sexualising themselves online, when girls as young as 13 are using fake IDs to post explicit content on OnlyFans, when a third of those selling nudes on Twitter are under the age of 18, I think it’s safe to say we are failing them from an early age.

I guess what I’m trying to get across is this: it’s tough for girls right now. It’s tough to be twelve and anxious and feel unattractive and this is how everyone else is getting attention. It’s tough to constantly compare yourself to the hyper-sexualised influencers that the boys you’re interested in are liking and following and thinking you have to compete. It’s tough to feel like the choice is sexualise yourself or nobody will notice you. The sad reality is we live in a superficial, pornified culture that rewards this stuff, and in many ways punishes you if you’re modest and sensitive and reserved, and a lot of girls are just trying to keep up with it.

We need serious cultural change. We need to wake up to how insane this all is, how utterly mental it is that we allow young girls anywhere near social media, and how we’ve let the liberalising of sexual mores escalate to the point where pre-teens are posing like porn stars and are lied to that it’s liberation. And where we need to start is with an absolute refusal from parents to let their kids on these platforms.

So please. If the relentless social comparison and obliteration of their attention span and confusion about their identity wasn’t enough, this has to be. Don’t let your daughters on social media.

#social media #freya #freya india

[stevesellshomes]

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[atopvisenyashill]

Is Lyanna really as terrible as some people portray her as?

no, not even a little bit.

the absolute most important thing about lyanna is that when she dies she is only 16. i am someone who works with kids - i work in a library so i spend most of my days cleaning up after tweens and asking teenagers to please stop doing dumb shit- and the first thing anyone who has ever worked with kids and especially teenagers is that they may look like adults but they are NOT. they don’t understand boundaries, they have next to zero impulse control, and every bad thing that happens feels like the worst thing ever because it very likely IS the worst thing they’ve ever experienced bc they have not been alive that long!

and this goes for every single teen & tween character in this series, not just lyanna! shit, i am someone who feels an immense amount of sympathy for joffrey! on one side he’s got his mother telling him he can do anything he wants with no repercussions and on the other he’s got his father hitting him so hard that stannis thought joffrey was going to die. and then he is given unchecked power and told not to abuse it! EYE cannot even guarantee that i wouldn’t use unchecked power to do shady shit and i am a fully grown adult, not a traumatized, irrationally, and deeply vindictive 13 year old boy.

but honestly the most important thing about lyanna is that we have ZERO CONTEXT for what happens between her and Rhaegar. What we have is

Ned’s sparse & guilt ridden thoughts about Lyanna and one (1) comment about Rhaegar

Robert’s angry, entitled, and grief ridden outbursts about Lyanna and Rhaegar

Barristan’s incredibly romanticized, guilt & grief ridden take on their relationship

Meera’s second hand account of Lyanna, told to her by a father who is likely just as guilt & grief ridden as the others, who likely has his own view of Lyanna

What’s important to note is that our view of her is heavily filtered through the eyes of the men that knew her. Robert loves an idealized version of her that never existed. Barristan never actually knew her. Ned is not only viewing her under 200 layers of guilt and grief, but very obviously does not understand his sister, or why she made the choices she did, and struggles constantly with knowing that he will never know her the way he wishes he could, the way he thought he did. Given the way Meera describes Lyanna, I actually think Howland is our most accurate look at her but even that is buried behind years of grief & a fair amount of hero worship and affection (“that’s my fathers man you’re kicking howled the she-wolf” is a line that makes me WEEP for this exact reason; Howland sees Lyanna as his hero above all else!).

All of that to say - we don't even know what Lyanna did that was so terrible! Even if she was a grown woman capable of making rational decisions, we have no idea what her decisions were. She could have been lied to, misled, kidnapped, threatened, just as surely as she could have walked into the situation with open eyes. Even in the show, with a slightly aged up Lyanna - we get, what, just Sam's opinion on Rhaegar and Lyanna being in love because they got hitched? Completely ignoring the fact that we had several women in this series get married not because they were in love or willing but because someone more powerful decided on it and that was that, so there's still no evidence that Lyanna had enough information about the situation to make any sort of informed, consensual decision.

so no, i do not hold lyanna responsible for anything at all that happened regardless of how it happened because she was not mentally mature enough to understand what the hell was going on. a 15 year old is just not mature enough to think “if i run off with this married man, it’s going to cause a cascade of political issues that could have disastrous consequences.” what she’s probably thinking is “this man says he can help me and i am fucking miserable and no one else will listen.” it’s why we don’t throw 15 year olds who run away to meet up with old dudes they met online in jail when they’re caught (or theoretically why we don’t punish them at any rate). There is one person and one person only who is responsible for the massive fuck up that is the Elia-Rhaenys-Aegon-Lyanna-Jon mess and that is RHAEGAR, the person with the most amount of power who used it in the dumbest way imaginable and got himself, most of his heirs, his wife, and his teenaged mistress killed. The only other people responsible are the Kingsguard who kept Lyanna under lock and key while she lay dying and pleading for her brother to come save her.

#lyanna stark #anti rhaegar targaryen #valyrianscrolls #gender politics in asoiaf #mariages in asoiaf #asks #anons