#Maybe even Fatima

[glenncoco4]

Thanks to my steaming hot shower I just thought of something that I really hope happens in LFODS. Especially knowing ECO made sure the humor wasn’t cut this time.

So we know that Sam is with Roundtree in the beginning (sneak) and then eventually ends up with Fatima (stills). Then we know that Talia is paired with Roundtree so…

Sam: “You’ll need some back up. I’ll-“

Roundtree overly excited: “I’ll do it:”

#Love Connection #I mean she’s gotta end up with one of the guys #Maybe even Fatima #Talia #Roundtree #Team Olsen #Live Free or Die Standing #NCIS: LA

[jnnul]

ric flair drip

a/n: oh my god. it's finished. i've finally written all of her. i genuinely don't know how to explain the relief i feel right now. it feels strange writing this after writing and healing myself through writing this. i hope that anyone in college who's feeling the way y/n or jaehyun did knows that you can and will grow from it. heartbreak is inevitable and so is growth. quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 20k

tags: college au!, frat boy!jaehyun x girlboss!y/n, honestly it just a dissertation about modern love and how people nowadays love each other, there's a lot of soul searching in this one, i poured my heart and soul into this please love her the way i do warnings: mentions of sex, underage drinking, and general college shenanigans! also explicit mentions of oral sex, uhhh foreplay and sex

HONESTLY, NOTHING ABOUT JUNG JAEHYUN IS REMOTELY APPEALING TO YOU. you hate the perfect boy act he puts on, you hate his need to impress everyone and everything, and you really fucking hated his dick.

because if it wasn't for his dick, which you were sure is just as perfect as the rest of his stupid self, you wouldn't be awake at inhumane hours, listening to your friend recount their sexcapades.

"oh my god, and then he did this thing with his tongue and i swear, i'm literally never going to be able to have oral again. he's fucking ruined me. i'm genuinely going to just make every guy i fuck put a jaehyun mask on from now onwards just to recreate it," sia yoo, unfortunately one of your best friends, quips dreamily. she yelps when roseanne park, your roommate and singular other voice of reason, throws a pillow at her.

"you sound like a fucking psycho. as in needs to be checked to a mental facility psycho. as in if i hadn't heard worse when you got with johnny suh, i'd be calling the cops right now psycho," roseanne says and easily ducks when sia winds up to throw the pillow back at her. fatima khan, sia's roommate and mother friend extraordinaire, pouts sympathetically with sia as the two of them turn to you as if you would fall on their side.

"sia, baby, honey, love and light of my life - i'm really sorry but i'm with rosie on this one," you say and sia puts on the most theatrical frown you she possibly could before she cocks her head curiously.

"rosie's got a reason for judging jaehyun since she doesn't even like men all that much. what's your excuse, y/n? you like men, judging by the way you were getting railed to next week by that freshie park seonghwa. you've never gotten dicked down by jaehyun."

you're half-tempted so tell sia that it's not fucking weird that you got with seonghwa, considering the fact that you're only a sophomore yourself but you're even more tempted to remind her that even though you were no stranger to a good time, you never recount your stories.

in fact, the only reason why the other three (well, you suppose rosie would know regardless given that you literally live with her) know about your sex life is because you choose to tell them whenever you felt like it. and usually, it was more than three days after the encounter.

you loved your friends, you really did - and sia was notorious for getting into one night stand rehash sessions at ungodly hours, so this was nothing new - but for some reason, every time jaehyun's name came up in the conversation, your skin would prickle with irritation.

maybe it was the fact that every single person around you seemed to be infatuated with him. or the fact that he was just so effortlessly good at capturing the attention of everyone in the room, no matter where he was.

or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you knew that if you looked too closely into the deep end, you'd fall right in with no life jacket. and jaehyun was an endless ocean.

+++

maybe you had given jaehyun too much credit, you lament. maybe jung jaehyun's as deep as a fucking kiddie pool. you know you're wrong because you were in the same english literature class and the man had been published because the professor liked his prose so much, she had submitted it to a literary journal.

and they had accepted it.

but as you stare at him across the lecture hall, burning holes into the poor guy's skull, you sure think he's stupid. because there was no way in fresh hell that jung jaehyun was in an introduction to east asia class. as a south korean.

people begin settling into their seats as you mull over the possibility that jaehyun had fucked so much, his brain had fallen out through his dick. from the stories of his more than above average size, it was definitely not out of the realm of possibility.

just as you're send a very judgmental text to fatima, who was supposed to be taking the class with you but had had to switch last minute when one of her major required classes opened up, jaehyun gets out of his seat to stand at the front of the room, next to the professor.

you realize belatedly that the people jaehyun had been so animatedly speaking to were none other than bambam and ten - two people who most definitely were in this class. and of course, they had chosen this class over all the others because oh my god, jung jaehyun is the uta for this class.

in hindsight, it makes sense, given that jaehyun is a east asian studies minor and a stellar fucking student. but it doesn't make the text you were about to send fatima any less humiliating as you realize your attempts to undermine his character were desperately failing. you try to backtrack on your phone, deleting the winding paragraph you were about to send her when your thumb slips, accidentally sending a half written message.

you: jaehyun is fucking

you're sure the statement will be true within the next couple hours (the jung bed at the nct frat never seemed to stay empty for too long - and that was just from orientation week last week) but it felt almost blasphemous that you would send a text so crude to your friend when you insisted that you couldn't stand his guts.

or what lay between them, really.

three gray dots appear on your screen as you half-heartedly listen to your professor drone on about how he went to china, became a changed man, and now taught about the wonders of east asia and its exoticism. his name was paul but the class could refer to him by his 'enlightened name' - lao ma. even jaehyun rolls his eyes behind the professor's back as all of the asian kids in the classroom begin to eye each other warily.

if this class wasn't so easy, you're sure the population would've shrunk to a quarter its size based on the weirdness of the professor on its own. or maybe not, if it meant that people got to stare at jaehyun's gorgeous face for an hour and a half every monday morning.

mommy tima 🤍: honey, i think whatever sia's got going is contagious. mommy tima 🤍: aren't you the one who hates him? mommy tima 🤍: he really lives in your mind rent free, huh.

you scoff under your breath as you type furiously, vaguely registering that you definitely need to check the syllabus for this class later because you have not been listening to a word the professor has said this whole time.

you: first sia's got cooties or a raging std that's what she's got going you: second he's my fucking uta you: as in i am going to be forced to see his face for an entire semester mommy tima 🤍: drop the class then, babe. you: can't this is too good for my gpa & the prof's a freak you: it's a gpa cushion and a circus in one go

you tuck your phone away when you see that jaehyun is coming up the aisle on your side with a packet while the professor is on the other aisle on the other side with the same packet to hand out. jaehyun probably wouldn't care that you had your phone out during lecture (syllabus week was just an excuse for college kids to get drunk during school days anyway) but it was the principle of the thing.

"here you go - oh, it's stuck together," jaehyun says as he stops at where you're sitting. his tongue slips out as he thumbs at the packet to give you one instead of three and suddenly, your treacherous brain takes you back to sia's rambling the night before.

and then he did this thing with his tongue...

you're shaken back to reality when you realize that you're staring at a blank wall, with a pink packet in front of you, and jaehyun has already reached the back of the classroom.

fuck. shit. bitch.

jaehyun had seen you stare at his stupidly handsome face and then some. he was your ta. oh my god, what if he docked points on some test because he thought you were the creepy stalker type.

damn you, sia yoo, you curse in your head.

+++

"damn you, sia yoo!" you yell over the blaring music that's so loud, you can feel the vibrations in your skull. there absolutely no reason you should be caught dead in a frat on the friday of syllabus week but sia had made it her mission to make sure you had a going out rate of at least 80% this school year, given that you were prone to trying to skip out on weekends out last year.

not that you didn't like going out - you actually really liked going out with your friends. you just took a little more inertia to get to the energy levels of actually going on.

sia just nods at you lazily as she bounces to the beat of another shitty remix of 'what you came for' by calvin harris and rihanna. you never understood why frats always found the worst remixes of classic party bangers but anything flew after you had enough alcohol in your system so the music would recede to the depths of your mind in a couple cups of whatever the fuck this drink was.

especially since you were a full sunshine drunk; whenever you were drunk, you became the life of the party and would always be found in the center of the room, regardless of the music. sia was a flirty drunk and you really couldn't remember the last time sia actually spent the entire weekend in her own bed. props to her stamina, honestly.

rosie was a mix of you and sia in that she would become so much more bubbly but the second she found someone she wanted to spend the night with, she went after them with no hesitation.

fatima usually played the role of sober mommy when you all went out. although she was never one to miss out on a good time, when she did get drunk, she much preferred it to be within the confines of the four walls that she shared with her roommate and the people she trusted the most - you, rosie, and sia.

which is why when rosie abandons you for her on again, off again fuck buddy (miyeon cho) and her fuck buddy (yugyeom kim), you're not surprised at all.

"that's going to be an interesting story in the morning," you say, nodding to where rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom are all heading upstairs together. fatima nudges you to look at sia, where she's pressed up against none other than johnny suh (or the love of her life, prior to jaehyun, apparently).

"that's going to be an interesting story in the afternoon," fatima counters. you turn to her with furrowed eyebrows, as if to question the timing. "i don't think i've ever heard of a girl leaving johnny's bed before 3 o'clock the next afternoon."

your jaw hangs in shock as you watch your friend wrap her arms around the tall man's neck, whispering something into his ear when he bends down to kiss her collarbone.

"are all of the nct boys secretly porn stars or something? how can they all be that good in bed?" you gape, waving at sia when she turns around to wink at you and fatima as her and johnny are bustling out of the door, undoubtedly to the nct frat house.

"they test us as part of rushing," says a low, velvety voice behind you. a hot rush of shame runs up your spine for two reasons: a) you were able to recognize jung jaehyun just from his voice and b) he heard you gossiping about his frat brothers' sexual prowess.

you exchange a look with fatima before whipping around to meet jaehyun eye to eye. he's wearing a plain black t-shirt and lightwash distressed jeans but he might as well be wearing designer trash bags for all you care. what you do care about, unfortunately, is the almost slutty way his v-neck dips to show off the beginnings of the planes of his chest.

you feel no better than a victorian man and it takes fatima a poorly concealed cough to break you out of your thoughts. fuck, you'd done it again. you really needed to stop getting caught up in jung jaehyun's pretty face. and body. and that stupid smile.

"haha. very funny. sounds like something straight out of a cheesy porno sponsored by viagra or something," you say, rolling your eyes. smooth. very smooth. normally, you like to think that you're proficient in the witty banter department but something about this boy made you almost feel dumb about your comebacks.

jaehyun cocks an eyebrow, and you're distinctly made aware that even with platform sneakers on, jaehyun is a good head taller than you when you have to look upwards to notice the motion. "you seem to be well versed, y/n. you make it a habit to stay up to date?"

you flush at the thinly veiled euphemism at your x-rated movie watching habits before clearing your throat. "i'm more of a fan of practical study, really. i am a scientist, after all."

you're aware that fatima has slipped away from you to talk to another friend, park jeonghwa, and also the fact that you are slowly beginning your descent into drunkenness but you can't seem to bring yourself to find the caution in it all. it's just jaehyun, after all.

jaehyun hums, bringing the solo cup in his hand to his lips to take a swig. "you're a biomedical engineering major, aren't you?"

you balk at that. "wait, wait. you know my name and my major?"

jaehyun nods slowly, seemingly stumbling for a moment before he gains his self-confidence once more. "you don't know mine?"

"you're literally my ta. i know you're an east asian studies minor and your name because you told the class," you say, recovering quickly. it was a really good thing you were a quick thinker because you were lying through your teeth.

you knew jaehyun's name, minor, and even major (computer science) because of his notorious reputation, not because he was your ta. but the last thing you wanted was to give him the satisfaction of asserting his popularity on campus.

"anyway. what was that you were saying about 'practical study'?" jaehyun's eyes twinkle in the dim lighting of the cramped basement you were in and you had a feeling that if you were any more inebriated, you'd be diving headfirst into jung jaehyun's bed as long as he looked at you like that.

but fortunately (unfortunately?) you're sober enough to make mostly intelligent decisions - which just means that you're not going to jump headfirst. maybe feet first but not headfirst.

"wouldn't you like to know," you sing-song, leaning into jaehyun's body enough to smell the mix of woody pine, fresh water, and vodka that seems to emanate from him. jaehyun watches you as you lean over him to grab another solo cup from the assortment that some lower ranked frat brother had been forced into bartending.

you down the entire drink in two swigs, patting away the stray stream of alcohol that had dripped down onto your chest. you don't notice the way jaehyun's eyes follow your hand down its descent to your chest. but you finally feel like your element, and in a moment of sheer idiocy and liquid courage, you enter the growing throng of bodies behind you, beckoning jaehyun to follow you.

you're not 100% sure what you want from him, honestly. you want to have a good time, and you're sure you'll have one with or without him. but something about the way jaehyun follows you like a puppy into the mess of people makes you feel like a zap of electricity has hit your body.

and if you're being completely honest with yourself (as you usually only are with ethanol in your system), you really didn't hate jaehyun. you had no qualms with him as a person, even if you hated the consequences that came with a night with him.

it's when you're in the middle of the crowd, with jaehyun looking at you with those hooded eyes and hands tucked into his pockets when you realize what you want from jaehyun jung.

you want him to desire you the way that his mere presence makes people desire him.

so you do what you do best and just let go. it's ric flair drip by metro boomin that's playing - a song that's definitely not the one to get down to. but the bass fills you up in a way that never hits the same outside of a sweaty frat basement so you can't even bring yourself to care.

"i'm tryna fuck you and your bestie," you sing along with the near hundred people surrounding you. jaehyun is still looking at you with an eyebrow sitting higher and an appraising expression; something that somehow manages to get under your skin.

in a moment of passion, you manage to hook your fingers into one of jaehyun's belt loops, pulling him closer to you. you're aware that you've painted yourself to be jaehyun's next conquest if the way that the girls next to you look upset means anything, but you couldn't care less.

especially when you're this close to the bane of your existence. the song switches to something a little more what you need (under the influence by chris brown) and you look up at jaehyun through your lashes and in that moment, jaehyun knows what you're offering him through your gaze.

a challenge.

+++

jaehyun never really meant to take on the role of nct's resident whore. in fact, jaehyun had been planning on doing the exact opposite when he came to college.

although it was unbelievable now, jaehyun jung had originally just been a very strange, nerdy, and sweet boy. he never got up to much trouble, kept to himself most of the time, and was known for...nothing, really. he was sweet and bubbly but he wasn't exactly running with the popular crowd.

in fact, jaehyun was kinda forgotten all throughout his schooling. it was easy to forget about jaehyun, as though he were some visage in a dream that everyone shared.

it hurt.

so when jaehyun finally hit his growth spurt in senior year, started going to the gym, and his voice no longer cracked every other sentence, he felt like a whole new person. like he was finally the main character in his own life.

it felt so fucking good to look at the same girls who had smiled at him pitifully and have them melting under a single wink. the summer between high school and college had been wild, with more stories than jaehyun could really even care to keep track of.

but when college began, jaehyun was fully intending to return to flying under the radar with his new upgrade in personality, appearance, and wardrobe. with a face like his, however, doing so was about as easy as trying to pass professor yoon's intro to bio class - nearly impossible.

slowly but surely, jaehyun morphed back into the personality he had adopted that summer and surprisingly, it wasn't as foreign as he thought. he was still a good student and wasn't a stranger to having to skip out on hanging out with his friends to study.

but having a new girl in his bed every other day? that was definitely new. a new revelation, but a welcome one nonetheless.

and in that, jaehyun was used to people using all sorts of tactics to get with him. playing hard to get, with coy smiles and flirtatious winks. or the bold ones, who told him straight up that they wanted to spend the night with him. even the downright horrifying ones who tried to pretend like they were blackout drunk in hopes that that would 'attract' him. spoiler alert? it didn't.

jaehyun originally thought you were of the 'hard to get' caliber. the type of girl to say that she wasn't like other girls and that's why he should get with her instead. so initially, when he approached you at the party after seeing you in his class, he was mentally preparing himself for the whole pick me speech.

but it was something about the way you looked at him.

it was like two halves of your mind were battling against each other. on one hand, you looked like you wanted to fax jaehyun straight into the fiery pits of hell with high speed shipping. on the other, it also seemed like you wanted nothing more than to ride him until the sun came up. mixed with a little bit of curiosity, confusion, and downright anger with yourself for all the emotions, you looked like the perfect cocktail of firebrand that jaehyun couldn't help but become intrigued by.

so when you were laughingly talking to your best friend (jaehyun's frat brother kun was half in love with fatima, which meant that jaehyun was more than well acquainted with her) about him and frat brothers, he took it to be the opportunity he needed.

and when you're looking at him like this, daring him to make a move, almost as if to make your mind fall one way or another about drawing a conclusion on him, what is jaehyun to do but to make good on the challenge you've offered?

he watches you for a moment more, trying to commit the memory of what you look like when you're this carefree and happy, before taking the micro-step it takes to get so close he can smell the citrus and apple cider that you seem to always smell like.

"i promise you i can fuck you better than johnny," jaehyun says, a corner of his lips tilted up as your eyes flutter the closer he draws.

"johnny's your 'bestie'?" you say, and jaehyun can tell that the last threads of your resolve are starting to snap by the way that your hand is now pressed against his chest.

"that's what you're curious about right now? the dynamics of the nct frat brothers?" jaehyun asks but he knows that this back and forth is exactly you need right now; the time to decide if you can take the plunge. or if jaehyun's worth your time tonight.

"as i mentioned, i'm a scientist," you say, and even as your voice stays stable, your fingers seem to leave burning trails against jaehyun's skin as they dip and feed into crevices of jaehyun's body that he didn't even know existed.

"hmm," jaehyun manages to eke out when your fingers lace into his hair. he's not sure how you manage to find every single sensitive spot he has but he's fairly impressed by the way you catch his breath hitching as you work your other hand up as well.

"hmm? cat got your tongue, jaehyun?" you say, making sure that jaehyun looks straight into your eyes as you lean impossibly closer. "you know that sia's with johnny right now, right? girls talk - especially with your best friends. which means that if you can't make good on your promise, i will find out."

jaehyun feels like he's sweating like a pig but thankfully, you don't notice, too busy making him sweat. he clears his throat once, and then twice to make sure that his voice doesn't give out.

"that right?" he says, and you roll your eyes, letting go of him and stepping back. you seem to appraise him for a moment (and jaehyun is unnaturally nervous about what you will decide) before grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. you only pause to flag down fatima, who takes one look at your intertwined hands, and waves the two of you away.

jaehyun blushes like a schoolgirl at the way fatima flashes him a catty smile.

"i swear to god, jaehyun, if you're all talk and no game - or if you're gonna sit still and look pretty the whole time - i will literally blue ball you. i don't do pillow princes," you throw over your shoulder as the two of you make your way to the nct frat. jaehyun knows for a fact that the nct frat will not be a quiet place tonight by the number of dresses and pants he sees in the foyer and leading the way up the stairs.

he says nothing, even as you're quite nearly storming up the stairs with a certain level of urgency, almost as though if you were to slow down and think about just exactly what you're doing, you'd turn around and leave right now.

jaehyun definitely can't let that happen.

so the second that he gets you into his bedroom (he had to rock, paper, scissors with doyoung to get the room tonight), he shuts the door and locks it behind him. he turns around to see you looking between the two beds, as if trying to guess which one was jaehyun's.

he mentally pats himself on the back when he sees the fresh sheets on the bed. reaching where you stand in less than a stride, jaehyun turns you so that you're facing his bed, and you squirm to turn to meet his eyes even as his hands are on your waist.

"what is with your hands?" you ask harshly and jaehyun blinks as he looks down.

"what do you mean? they're on your waist," jaehyun says softly, and once again, he's hit with a wave of citrus and apple cider. you simper at him, grabbing his wrist and moving it incriminatingly downwards.

"what am i? a virgin? put them somewhere useful." you whisper the last part and it's as though jaehyun has just woken up.

"you know," jaehyun begins, sliding his other hand downwards to sit comfortably on the curve of your ass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were trying to rile me up. i wonder..."

he doesn't finish his thought, instead pulling you close so that your hips are pressed against his. he can hear the gasp that you're desperately trying to conceal, coughing uselessly to the side. a devilish smirk grows on jaehyun's lips and for the first time in a long time, you're sure you're going to be up all night.

+++

you were, in fact, trying to rile him up. you had heard all the rumors about jaehyun and johnny, about how one night with them was like one night in heaven. hell, you'd had first hand accounts from sia yoo about exactly what it's like to be in bed with either of them - multiple times.

so when jaehyun had fronted with such a cautious attitude when he realized what you wanted, you were almost offended. if you wanted to take control and fuck a man's brains out, you could do that with anyone. why would you fight against your own mind this much to get with him?

but seonghwa park. changkyun im. even kun qian, before you discovered he was head over heels for fatima. jung jaehyun.

these were all people who put you in your place. the way you wanted to be. it just seemed as though jaehyun might've needed a little more persuasion to get there.

so yes, you were riling him up. was that such a crime?

by the way jaehyun's looking at you right now, his breath hot and heavy on your neck and his eyes dark with a feeling that you can't describe but resonates with you on a deeper, more primal level.

"you know, after you got with kun, he wouldn't shut up about it for a week," jaehyun says, pressing kisses down your neck, pausing when he reaches your breastbone. he eyes your corset top with a discerning eye before reaching behind you to pull the lace strings that were precariously holding your top for a week.

"yeah?" you ask, threading your fingers through jaehyun's thick hair as he makes quick work of your top, leaving it pooled on the floor as his lips find your chest as though he couldn't be physically parted from it.

"yeah. even after he met fatima, he said that you were the best he's ever had - that's a big reputation to live up to when you're in nct," jaehyun says, his voice breathy and deep as he walks you backwards so that the back of your knees hit the frame of his bed.

"hmm. what can i say? i know what i want and what i want is usually lots of fun," you say, letting jaehyun unzip your jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off when jaehyun moves too slowly.

"i know. god, after knowing that you and kun were going at it, i swear everyone was jerking off in their room for an hour. even winwin wanted to go for you today. you're an unpredictable woman; no one knows where and when you're going to show up to one of the parties so everyone has to take their chances when they get them," jaehyun says, tugging his shirt off and throwing it somewhere behind him carelessly.

you nearly melt when you see jaehyun's uncovered top, eyeing each and every hard ridge of his body, reaching out to touch him. his chest is almost soothingly warm as your fingers memorize each and every aspect of the planes of his chest, almost worried that they might disappear if you let go.

jaehyun looks at you amusingly as he lets your fingers dance across his body, focusing on tugging your panties off to discard them where he's sure he's going to have to search for them later on.

you pout when you see the difference in clothing but jaehyun just gently pushes you backwards so that your back is against his bed, leaving your pussy exposed in away that makes you feel absolutely mortified. you move to gain some level of privacy back but jaehyun is too fast, gripping onto your thighs incriminatingly as he raises an eyebrow.

"don't think that i'm soft just because i'm being nice to you now, pretty girl. i know you don't like to listen but don't hide from me. i will not let you have any fun if you try to hide from me," jaehyun says, his voice dropping a full octave. you suppress the shiver that runs through your body (and that simultaneously delights jaehyun) as you nod softly.

he seems satisfied by the way your body melts and rewards you for your submission by licking a wet strip up your pussy, one hand snaking up to touch your nipple while the other one keeps your thighs open.

jaehyun is slow at first, exploring each and every hidden crevice of your body but as he feels you get wetter and wetter, he can't seem to stay soft for too long. he continues to press his lips against yours but the moment you try to grind your hips against his lips, he pulls away, his tongue darting out to taste your essence on him.

you almost whine at the loss of his hot mouth on your pussy, and you're embarrassed to realize that in front of jaehyun jung, you are no better than your best friend in falling in love with the way he moves.

"you're not going to cum from my tongue, baby," jaehyun says, practically ripping the belt out from where it was caging his jeans. "especially when i know that your pussy is magic."

"you say that, jaehyun, but you're being so fucking soft. if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're in love with me," you snort, trying to catch your breath. jaehyun freezes from where his boxers are hanging so low on his hips, you can see the muscles in his pelvis tense angrily as he looks at you dangerously.

"my fucking bad for making sure you're wet enough to take me," jaehyun whispers, pulling close to you. his eyes turn even darker than usual and a small spark of excitement ignites in your chest when you realize that you've finally reached it - jaehyun's breaking point.

"sounds like you're scared, jaehyun. you know what? you know why kun was so good? because he wasn't scared. he wasn't scared to fuck me like he was trying to break the bed," you retort, and saying kun's name is when jaehyun finally snaps. he tears his boxers off as he pushes you so that you're further up on his bed.

"y/n, i'm not fucking joking around. if you want me to stop, say it now. just say the word, and i'll pretend like this never happened. because i swear to every god in existence, if you let me, i'll ruin every other man for you," jaehyun says and his knuckles turn white from how hard his clenching his fingers to keep himself from pouncing. the thought is almost cute if you weren't desperate to be fucked into next week.

"if i wanted you to stop, i wouldn't have said kun's name, would i?"

that's all it takes. no sooner do the words leave your mouth, jaehyun's on top of you, every inch of his body fighting to claim yours. he's not sure what it is about being with a bratty girl but every time a girl tries to challenge him, jaehyun can feel his excitement grow as his mind runs wild with ways to prove you wrong.

and with a girl as beautiful and sexy as you? he was going to have the time of his life.

time of his life he does.

+++

when jaehyun wakes up, he's almost happy. almost because he has bruises on his hips from how hard he had pounded into you, a litter of hickeys across his chest, and freshly washed hair from when you had enticed him into taking a shower with you.

inevitably, it led to another hour in the shower that jaehyun had spent having his soul sucked out from his dick, eating you out under the shower, and seeing you cum twice just from his tongue.

if only he had woken up with you still in his bed, jaehyun would've actually been happy.

realistically, jaehyun had no clue what he was expecting. after taking a shower, it had taken you a total of five minutes to fall asleep in his arms, wearing nothing but jaehyun's oversized t-shirt and your panties.

there was no pillowtalk, no heart to hearts, nothing. no discussions of having whatever happened last night happening again. no trying to get to know each other better.

not that you had ever been obligated to do so. if anything, jaehyun was far more obligated to do so, after practically declaring that he had wanted to get with you since last semester - which he had been completely serious about.

but with his reputation, regardless of what he had said last night, jaehyun's almost 100% sure that you would've disappeared by the morning.

he's so caught up in his thoughts that he almost misses the bright pink post-it note on his neatly folded shirt on his desk in the corner of the room.

9.5/10. if you see sia, tell her she was right about your tongue. see you in intro to east asia on monday.

jaehyun's half disappointed and half happy. disappointed because you'd never left your number or anything and happy because at least he knew that you weren't going to completely avoid him whenever you ran into each other next.

he shakes his head as he folds the post-it note and throws it in the trash can next to his desk.

jaehyun jung may not have started college with the intention of becoming the resident fuckboy but he still had a reputation to maintain. he had fucked countless women over his time at sm university and he had no intention of falling for any of them.

he was not about to get soft-hearted or soft-dicked by a girl he was with once.

even if she was really good in bed. like really really good. like good enough to make him think about the other boys she's been with and if they'd made you feel as good as he did.

fuck. her. which jaehyun had already done. which meant that he needed to move onto the next step of the day before his head exploded with all of the implications flying around in his mind about their relation to each other (nonexistent) and if you were thinking about him like he was thinking of you (you weren't).

he pads out of his room, passing doyoung on the way out, who claps him on the back and says, "you finally got with y/n?" jaehyun doesn't know how doyoung knows but it strikes him that neither of you are very subtle people and you had caused quite the scene leaving with him last night.

similar reactions are offered to him by everyone he passes. he's not really sure how many of the boys you've been with but jaehyun can feel his street cred go up by at least a decameter with the way some of these pledges are looking at him.

in fact, everyone is looking at him with a new look of respect in their eyes until he reaches the kitchen, where yoo sia and johnny are sitting, practically eye-fucking.

jaehyun was very used to seeing johnny's friends in the kitchen the next day, neither of them ready to really say goodbye each other yet but for some reason, knowing that sia was your best friend and seeing her with johnny sets jaehyun's stomach into a series of knots that he was sure he was going to have to unravel when he had his head on straight.

"she already left?" sia says, finally breaking her stare from johnny's. jaehyun shrugs, digging around the fridge to see if they had any coffee. they didn't (none that wasn't expired anyway) so he has to settle for a caprisun.

"she had somewhere to be," jaehyun says. he wants to ask sia if it's normal for you to leave that early. it can't be if sia seems surprised that you'd left before the clock struck ten. what did that mean? what does that say about jaehyun? oh god. what if you hated it. what if you hated it so much that you didn't want to spend a second longer with jaehyun.

he cringes as he locks eyes with another shiny eyed pledge (jaehyun thinks his name is jungwoo) and tries to shake his head to clear any and all thoughts of you. he was pussydrunk. that was the only explanation. he just needed to dick down someone else and then he would get over whatever little infatuation thing he had going on.

"really? hmm..." sia says finally. jaehyun turns to see her looking right at him and suddenly, he's transported back to the previous weekend, when sia had been wrapped up in his sheets.

+++

"why did you start fucking around like this?" sia had asked, her chest still heaving from their previous illicit activities as she wraps herself tighter in jaehyun's sheets. jaehyun pauses for a moment as he catches his breath, pulling on his boxers as he thinks. he throws the shirt that sia's grabbing at, still not sure how to piece together his thoughts.

or why he wants to tell sia the truth. maybe it's because no one's ever asked about it before, but jaehyun feels strangely vulnerable as sia watches as he clambers back into his bed, her expression pensive and uncharacteristically wise.

"i don't know," jaehyun says honestly, laying over the covers as he feels his face grow hotter under sia's unrelenting stare. "i think it's because i wanted to know what it felt like. to know what it felt like to be wanted for a night instead of just being in the sidelines as the guy with the potential. just the guy that people brought along as the friend of the hot guys that kept him around."

sia doesn't say anything, instead turning so that she was lying on her back. jaehyun turns to look at her, to see if he could decipher some level of understanding from her silence. really, he knows that he should feel embarrassed about confessing his insecurities to a girl that he's hooked up with two or three times but he can't bring himself to for some reason.

maybe it's because he knows that she wouldn't say anything about it to anyone. or because he knows that she's head over heels for johnny, whether she'd admit it or not. or maybe it's just because for the first time, someone had asked something about jaehyun just to get to know him as a person, rather than trying to get him in their bed.

not that he really minded that - it just made him feel like it was all a lot more transactional than he was used to. he had been a romantic once upon a time. when you grew up with the nickname of 'valentine boy', it would have been stranger if he didn't have some sense of romance.

but jaehyun's penchant for romance disappeared almost just as soon as he realized that no one else was yearning for a pure type of love like he was.

and yet, it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. turns out that jaehyun's a very adaptable man. if he wouldn't find love in this decade, then perhaps it would be lust that he would have to settle for.

"then again," he begins, gaze darting over to where sia had slipped on his t-shirt as she tiredly begins to settle down in his bed once more. "isn't that what everyone is doing nowadays? looking for a warm body for the night, instead of a genuine connection?"

sia snorts at that, turning so that she was facing jaehyun now. "don't tell me that you're one of the boomer types. the ones who always go around peacocking about how they were born in the wrong generation and that they're one of the 'good guys'. i might actually leave right now if you are."

"no, no i'm not. well. maybe a little bit. but i don't know why that's so bad to be honest," jaehyun acquiesces finally. sia rolls her eyes, but even she goes quiet for a moment. once again, jaehyun's reminded that this is sia yoo - a girl who routinely wakes up in someone else's sheets every saturday (although it was johnny's more often than not) and as sexist as it was, someone who carried a reputation for it. even jaehyun was surprised to find that she was such a deep conversationalist.

of course, he mentally berates himself soon after but he can't help the thought. for him, sia was just the girl he would get with a couple times. a good time. the fact that that's the only role she fulfilled in his mind made him feel disgusting inside out as he waits for her response, vowing that he would work to change his mindset. or maybe just change personalities altogether. ick.

"you know one of my best friends? y/n? the one who got with kun before he decided to go clean for fatima?" sia says with a careful tone. jaehyun nods, not trusting that he wouldn't say something dumb after his sudden realization of his flawed thinking.

"this is something she always says but it's honestly pretty simple: love is however you want to define it. humans spend so much trying to find labels and definitions for things that just might not have or need them. for such an advanced species, we spend so much time concerned about how to put a feeling into a box or how to classify a thought instead of rejoicing in the fact that we had such a beautiful feeling in the first place."

"for people in this generation, the old school love is hard to find because they've got so many other types of love that weren't allowed back when old school love was big. it's a different type of freedom to love someone on the weekends but never to fall in love with them. maybe we're just romanticizing hookup culture but who's to say that we can't? maybe we're all more romantic than we want to admit. maybe when we fall into the sheets with someone we barely know, we're looking for a fragment of love to satiate our heart in ways we didn't know it needed."

jaehyun doesn't know what to say to that so he just pulls her closer to him and she lets him, throwing her leg over his as they fall asleep, closer to each other than they had ever been.

+++

you're not sure what had compelled you to leave so quickly that morning. you usually like to get the boys who sleep with to at least cook you breakfast before you left (for compensation of being terrible in bed, if the situation so called for it) but for some reason, every instinct in your body had pulled you to leave.

you had waken up at nearly 5 in the morning, a mere two and a half hours after the two of you had fallen asleep, gathered your clothes, and were about to leave when you turn to look at jaehyun, still snoring away peacefully, his arm crossing his body to rest on the empty space next to him that you had occupied previously.

you had a feeling that you're going to lament leaving this early after psychoanalyzing why you were leaving so early later in the day but for now, if your gut was telling you to leave, you were going to heed the precautions.

but even as you're about to leave, you find yourself turning to jaehyun's desk, sparse but somehow still a little messy as you rummage for a post-it note and a pen to write with. you grin to yourself when you find yourself successful (and endearing somehow that jaehyun has bright pink post-it notes).

you pass a brother on the way out (undoubtedly a freshman who had received the short stick of the duties tonight) but you wave him off when he offers to walk you home. dangerous? most definitely. but you really needed the time and space to yourself and the short, almost ten minute walk back to your apartment would offer some enlightenment.

spoiler alert: it didn't. no matter how hard you wracked your brain to come up with some version of a logical explanation, you realized that there was just simply no way to do so.

and something about that frustrated you. you knew it wasn't a big deal. jaehyun was just a hook-up. a one night stand. and yet...something wasn't fitting right in your mind. so you start to think in the only way you know how, collecting all of the pieces of information you did have.

a) you just had sex - mind-blowing sex with jaehyun. he was everything you expected and more when it came to a sexual partner. b) you didn't develop feelings for him. sex comes fifth on the list of things you subconsciously (or now consciously, since you've spoken it into existence) have when looking for a potential boyfriend. first comes personality, then intelligence, then ambition, then looks, and then sex. you didn't even have a conversation long enough to figure out if jaehyun had more than three brain cells to piece together. c) jaehyun jung had confessed that he had wanted to get with you since last semester. did he mean with you-r body or with you?

you shake your head as if to physically shake the irrational thoughts in your mind out and press your id against the scanner at the entrance of your apartment building, rubbing your fingers against your temples as you get into the elevator to reach your apartment.

unlocking the door to your (empty) apartment, you decide to shelf the thoughts for some time when your head wasn't pounding and collapse on your bed, thanking the lords you'd had the sense to take a shower at jaehyun's.

and the last thing you remember is the smell of jaehyun's shampoo in your hair as you drift into blissful, dreamless sleep.

+++

you're not surprised to feel a weight on your bed when you wake up the next morning. you blearily open your eyes to make out sia's general figure, rosie and fatima undoubtedly chatting quietly in the kitchen.

you vaguely piece together something about fatima having kun over but him sleeping on the couch and you try to push down the guilt that creeps up into your brain as you realize that you had left fatima alone at the party. a party where all of you knew a lot of people (and the outcome was just as everyone had thought it would be) but the principle of the matter stung nonetheless.

you push aside the thought - along with the idea that you should probably apologize to fatima when the cottony feeling in your mouth started to subside - in favor of looking at sia, who is strangely quiet as she watches you gather yourself. for her boisterous personality, sia yoo could see through anyone to the extent of theorized telepathy so you don't even bother trying to hide anything from her.

although, it really is hard to take her seriously when she's got hickey's littered across her neck. well. you suppose you don't look much better at the moment.

"you left before 10 o'clock," sia says simply. you don't pretend to not understand what she means as you nod, pushing yourself up on your bed as fatima and rosie also enter, rosie handing you a glass of water.

"i know," you say softly. "but i want to hear about everyone else's nights right now. i just don't know that i'm in the right headspace to think about why i left so early - i'm not even sure i know why i left so early."

sia says nothing for a moment, watching your face, almost as if she were trying to read your very essence. but she relents, reaching out to hold your hand briefly before completely switching up, speaking animatedly about her very adventurous night, leaving you to simmer in your thoughts.

had sia always been this smart? probably. who's to say that she wasn't, after all?

turns out that sia and johnny were actually going to go on a date on wednesday, after realizing that their chemistry extended further out of the bedroom than either of them had expected. sia was through the roof, obviously, given that she had been thirsting over johnny (although more in a sexual sense than anything else) for so long.

rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom also worked a lot better than any of them had thought so you were sure that you were going to lose your roommate to the other '97 liners more often for the foreseeable future.

fatima was the only one who had a pg night, with kun coming over to her apartment and just chilling together the whole night, eventually having him sleep over since he was too tired to walk back to the apartment that he lived out (it was on the other side of campus, given that he moved out of the nct house pretty late into the semester last year).

"speaking of kun, when are you guys gonna make it official? i mean after this year, you guys are going to only have one year together before you guys graduate," you say, bunching your comforter before letting go. it felt weird saying that. especially in regards to your friends. theoretically, you had all the time in the world together.

but all the time in the world wasn't enough when it came to these girls.

fatima sighs before getting up, wringing her hands together as she thinks. "i don't know. i mean kun's graduating a year early so i really only have this year left. i - i know how much he likes me. i know that he wants to do this right way. go the whole nine yards."

"but...?" rosie says, elongating the syllables as you and sia look at her patiently. fatima shakes her head, getting up to walk around the room, six paces enough to take her from one side of your room to the other.

"i just don't know. kun's great and honestly, i really think that's the one. or at least one of the ones for me. but i just don't know if my parents would be okay with it. i mean my parents are great! they give me so much freedom and honestly, i'm really thankful that my parents allowed me to find religious and spiritual freedom on my own, without ever trying to shove it down my throat."

"but at the same time...how can i betray their trust in me by dating someone who is so far from my religion? like. kun is a great guy but he's not muslim. and sure, i don't follow a lot of the stricter things in islam but i - i have god in my heart. and i don't know that god would want me to start a family that doesn't follow islam. especially since i can see that in my future with kun and kun - i don't know that i could ask kun to convert to another religion for me."

the room is silent for a little bit after fatima finishes, with her collapsing in your bed next to you. rosie and sia exchange a look with each other, and then you, as they both decide to leave the room, leaving you to console fatima.

you were always the most philosophical one out of the bunch anyway.

"look, fatima, i can't pretend to know what it's like to have that kind of mental burden and i really can't understand what it's like to think about the future and be concerned about the impact on the world you might create. i read about something the other day though - did you know that kun means 'manifesting' or 'believing' in arabic?" fatima looks at you with disbelief written all over her face, shaking her head.

"how did you know that?" she asks and you just shrug, nodding at the 'islam for dummies' book you had bought in hopes of understanding a little bit more about one of your closest friend's religion.

"that's not the point. but fatima, you are the single kindest, most beautiful person i know. and i have faith that you will choose what's right for you, not what's right for the people around you because you know better than everyone that the only person who can judge you is god. and no one - no one - on this earth has the right to take that peace away from you."

fatima is silent before wrapping you in her arms, the soft material of her hoodie comforting you and lulling you back into a sleep that's dreamless and calm.

+++

jaehyun doesn't know what to expect when he walks into intro to east asia on monday. should he say hi? wave? start a conversation? should he acknowledge that he spent the better part of his weekend wondering if he would lose his fuckboy status if someone realized just how down bad he was for you?

probably anything but the last one was a good idea.

jaehyun was not in a good state of mind. he was a hot 19 year old man with a near perfect gpa (a whopping 3.98 only because he got a singular a-), a not so terrible set of dimples, and a killer body. and yet he was walking around like how he had been prior to his enlightening summer.

it's almost freeing but also humiliating to think that one night in bed was enough to make him start an entire philosophy but that was where jaehyun was at so who was he to question anything, really?

in fact, jaehyun is so caught up in what he would name his new branch of philosophy (loserism, with a lot of inspiration from zeno) that he doesn't even realize that you've already walked past him and taken your seat.

third row, first seat. you're putting your bag down next to your chair, pulling out your laptop, tossing your hair over your shoulder when it falls in your face. jaehyun tears his eyes away, knowing that this was not a good look for him.

if jaehyun really wanted to pursue you, which he was sure was where all of his jumbled emotions were eventually going to lead him anyway, he knew for a fact that you weren't going to be interested in having to take the lead. especially if jaehyun wasn't even sure that you were interested in the possibility.

but that's a struggle for another day. what was it that stephanie laurens said? that all women want sometimes is a little old-fashioned loving?

that was, in fact, the opposite of what sia had said you were really into but jaehyun had a sneaking suspicion that you wouldn't mind handing the reigns over in the decision making process portion of a relationship, or the courtship, if your time together this weekend alluded to anything.

jaehyun almost misses the beginning of the lecture, where professor ma (no one actually calls him that besides himself) was going into some of his favorite places to stay during his time in china. and while missing any portion of professor ma's lecture was of no crime, he also almost misses the way that you're looking straight at him, faking a yawn when jaehyun finally locks eyes with you.

professor ma was known for giving stellar recommendation letters (which was why johnny had coerced jaehyun into ta'ing for his class in the first place) but he was such a pain in the ass.

jaehyun has to keep from laughing out loud when he sees your exaggerated gestures to show how boring you were finding the professor's lecture to be, pulling himself together in time for him to finally be able to take a seat in the back of the classroom, professor ma having asked him to take attendance for the some two hundred students in the classroom. by hand.

he almost drops the piece of paper that you slide into his hand, subtly slipping it into the pocket of his basketball shorts as makes his way up the flight of stairs to the tenth row, dropping his backpack on the floor next to him, in a rush to open the delicate piece of paper in his hands.

there's only three words on the piece of paper and a series of dashes and yet jaehyun knows that this is all he needs. this is all the signal he needs to know that he wasn't imagining the chemistry or the tension between the two of you. and fuck what anyone said about his 'reputation'; it was jaehyun's turn - the old jaehyun's turn - to get the chance to experience the relationship he had always been dreaming of.

he rereads the little piece of paper before smiling and tucking it into his pocket again.

earn the rest. 9__-___-____.

+++

johnny suh is getting whiplash from his best friend's actions.

one day, he's asking sia yoo if her best friend usually leaves her one night stands by the time they wake up. then he's throwing said one night stand's notes into the trash can before leaving for some frat meeting or another.

the next day, he's carrying another note from the same one night stand he can't seem to get out of his head.

jaehyun doesn't tell johnny anything. he really doesn't need to at this point. johnny suh is a senior in college and he's pretty much seen it all. he's also the vice president of a frat - which means that even if he didn't have all the experience that he did just because of his seniority, he definitely seen it because of the sheer number of stupid decisions frat brothers will find themselves making when they think they're going to either a) get drunk b) get high c) get their dick wet.

johnny knows it's all in good fun (fun that he's definitely not opposed to) but jaehyun's always been a little bit of an enigma when it came to all of it. he was good at the drinking and alright at the getting high and absolutely fan-fucking-tastic at the getting his dick wet.

it was the goddamn dimples. everyone always fell for the dimples.

and sure, while jaehyun had had crushes before (johnny could read his little like no other), they'd always been fueled by the hormonal rush of adrenaline and testosterone pumping through his veins. in fact, johnny's not sure that jaehyun had had a proper crush on anyone at college after getting fucked over in high school, where johnny had also gone to with jaehyun.

not that johnny had really known jaehyun. he was quieter and kept to himself more then. didn't really hang out in the same crowd as johnny.

he knows that's not necessarily true. johnny had, truthfully, just completely overlooked jaehyun. like a lot of girls had until jaehyun had finally started to grow into his features.

but johnny knows jaehyun now and he also knows that if jaehyun had never met gianna lee, jaehyun wouldn't have ever dove headfirst into the deep end of shitfuckery and sleeping around with every breathing body in sight.

cliché story of course. college boy becomes a fuckboy after having his heart broken by a girl in high school. johnny's almost 100% positive that sia's shoved at least two or three novels like those in johnny's face, with the same exact plot.

but what is life but a series of clichés after all. and honestly, did it even matter? it was real. it happened to jaehyun. that was all. end of story.

so johnny doesn't even say a word when he sees the post-it note in jaehyun's trash can. he's silent as he watches sia and jaehyun talk and jaehyun fall into a period of overthinking (and jaehyun knows he's overthinking too because johnny can see him shake his head even as he continues to stare at the 'people' tab of intro to east asia).

and johnny finally decides to break his silence when he sees jaehyun with a new post-it note, although this time it was a much more tame blue post-it, and a pensive look.

jaehyun slips it to johnny to read as they're sitting at the local starbucks, with johnny filling out some paperwork for the job he was signed on for as soon as the school year ended and jaehyun studying for the organic chemistry exam he had coming up the next week.

he doesn't say anything when he passes the note but johnny can see him sideye-ing him to catch his reaction and it's all he can do to keep from letting a little smile slip through.

he hands the piece of paper back, watching as jaehyun immediately stuffs it into his backpack, and for some reason, he's really not sure what to say. if sia were here, she would know exactly what to say, and how to say it. she had a way of saying things that were a little too straightforward to feel good but also obviously coming from a generally good place.

it was one of the reasons why johnny had thought it would be a good idea to make it official with her. sia yoo was nothing like what johnny had thought - and the thought simultaneously frightens him and comforts him.

"you plan on asking her out on a date?" johnny says lightly, sliding his laptop over to pretend to look at his phone casually. in actuality, he's typing furiously to sia (one of the few people that johnny trusted or consulted when it came to advice giving) about what was happening.

johnny is not very surprised when sia's gray bubble appears, disappears, and then appears again only to say, "yeah, i know."

he waits for a more elaborate response. or even a more sia-like response but the more that he talks to her, the more johnny is learning that sia is more unpredictable than she really seems to be.

and sia yoo seems to be completely out of the box.

johnny shakes his head, as if to physically get rid of the thoughts of her from his head, unsure why he was thinking of her when he was supposed to be helping out one of his boys.

"yeah. i think so? i don't know. i mean we had a good time and we definitely have chemistry. but we literally just had one night in bed and that's it." jaehyun furrows his eyebrows as he realizes that's not just it. "well, there is the fact that kun was walking around singing her praises. and i know that fatima wouldn't be friends with kun or y/n if she wasn't sure they're both good people. not to mention the fact that i've always thought she's kinda hot. but it's always been superficial. even us spending the night together was really nothing more than finding each other hot or trying to figure out if the talk around town was real or not."

johnny takes a sip of his americano as he lets jaehyun's words sink into his own mind. jaehyun rests his heads on his arms crossed in front of him and johnny knows exactly the set of thoughts that's running through jaehyun's mind because they were the same as johnny's when he had decided to ask sia out on a date.

is it worth it? is it worth possibly getting my heart strung up on someone again just to face the possibility of breaking it again?

so johnny offers the only advice that he really has.

"talk to roseanne. girls' fiercest protectors are their friends and something tells me that talking to her will make you fall on one side or the other."

+++

the next time that jaehyun sees roseanne is a complete coincidence. he really only meant to say hi to one of his homies, yugyeom, on the way out of the library and hadn't expected to run into roseanne or miyeon at all. especially not a singular day after johnny had suggested that he seek her out in the first place.

he watches as yugyeom thumbs the rip in miyeon's jeans as he continues to talk to jaehyun about something jeongguk had done the previous weekend. and then he sees miyeon press a kiss to roseanne's cheek as she gets up to fill up her water bottle.

jaehyun didn't think he would understand that dynamic at all but whatever floated their boat. who was he to judge? he had watched the barbie movie and was still having a crisis about his masculinity and was actively searching out his one night stand's (were you still just his one night stand?) roommate and best friend to fix it. to be fair, he didn't really fully understand the barbie movie, to the chagrin of doyoung's girlfriend nairobi but that was besides the point.

yeah. jaehyun was really in no position to speak. wow he had a lot of things to work on internally. the more he talked to the women in his life, the more he was realizing this. again. not the point.

roseanne takes one look at his face and then exchanges a look with miyeon and then yugyeom before standing up and walking towards the exit, looking at jaehyun questioningly when she realizes that jaehyun hasn't moved an inch. jaehyun hurriedly bids yugyeom and miyeon goodbye as he rushes after her.

the two of them linger outside of the library and roseanne just raises an eyebrow as she appraises jaehyun. and for some reason, jaehyun stands up straighter, and she just sighs, a small smile playing on her lips.

"let me guess. 'who makes people work for their number? what is this? sprinkle sprinkle type of stuff?' or maybe 'this is kinda cringey, isn't it?' or just a sweet and simple 'what the actual fuck?'" roseanne says nonchalantly, listing out each possible question jaehyun could have come to ask.

"would it make me a bad man if i said yes to all of the above?" jaehyun asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. roseanne shrugs, crossing her arms across her chest.

"not really. i don't think so at least. it's a fair set of questions that even i asked her the first time a guy came up to me asking who the fuck my roommate thought she was," roseanne says. she takes sees the look of confusion on jaehyun's face as she continues, "you're definitely not the first person to ask me that but you are of a selective few. y/n usually doesn't let people get this far in the first place. and secondly, she doesn't really tell us much about people she's interested in until much later."

"she's a strange person, if i'm being honest with you. there's just something about her that makes her so captivating and invisible at the same time. she'll capture the attention of everyone in the room but if you talk to her, she'll make you feel like her best friend. she seems like an open book, and an even more open friend. and you feel so close to her within a conversation and then you end the conversation, you realize that even as she spoke, she revealed nothing about herself."

"i'm her best friend and i could tell you very confidently that i didn't know a single thing about her truly until recently. it made me frustrated at first. like i was a shitty friend or something. but the closer to her i got, the more i realized that she's always been a great friend but no one's been a great friend to her. she's very selective with the people she associates with - not just people she lets herself be seen with but people she confides in."

"this whole thing is a defense mechanism. she'd be caught dead before she'd ever admit it but she just hasn't been loved in the way that she's loved and now she's more guarded for it. i'll tell you this jaehyun, but if you want to give up, do it now. she says she's just going to give you her number if you earn it but once you get all 10 digits, know that she's gonna give you her heart."

"it seems like i'm violating girl code by telling you all this but like i said, even if you were to ask y/n, she would say the same thing. not in so many words but still. like i said. she's an open book and a closed heart. she knows you're gonna ask me and so she only tells me something that she would be okay with you hearing."

jaehyun, who had been listening quietly and patiently the whole time, cuts in with a quiet voice. "isn't it exhausting to live like that?"

roseanne looks at him strangely, as though she was truly seeing him for the first time. jaehyun doesn't know if he's offended or relieved that she'd done what he'd done to sia - made assumptions based on his appearance. he lands on neutral. it's human nature, to try and make proper guesses about who's gonna act like what.

the ancient art of preventing heartbreak, jaehyun supposes.

"maybe. i don't think so though. it's gotta be a different level of relief knowing that no one's gonna talk shit about you because a) no one knows you well enough to do that or b) because you're so careful with who you trust that you know they'd never betray you or even c) they can only talk about what you put out into the world. it's why censorship is so effective. people can only talk about what they know. there's few people who will ignore what they see to find what they can't see tangibly."

"are all of y/n's friends secretly poets or something? why the hell are you guys all speaking cryptically like you're all freemasons or some shit like that. i can't tell if i find it cringey or cool," jaehyun says, cocking his head.

roseanne lets out a real, full bellied laugh at that, clutching her stomach as chuckles escape her. jaehyun's not sure what he's said that's so funny but he knows for a fact that she's not laughing with him, but at him.

"why is it cringey, jaehyun? why would it be cool? it's just what it is. we're just girls. you'll see us at the party next weekend, drinking our weight in alcohol. we'll have the conversations about makeup and dresses and having fun and our future and our past. there's nothing like freemasonry, i promise. it's just so amusing to see men get alarmed by the thoughts that girls have been wrestling with since they've been twelve. the duality of man, i guess," roseanne says finally, once she's caught her breath.

jaehyun doesn't know how to respond to that so he elects to save the remaining tatters of his dignity by just not responding at all. if there's one thing he's learned about you, it's that you surround yourself by women who are not hesitant about putting him in his place. and he's oddly thankful for it.

"i have one last question. well, two last questions, actually," jaehyun says when he sees roseanne turning around to head back inside, still wiping the tears from her eyes from laughing too hard.

roseanne turns, a knowing glint in her eyes even before jaehyun asks his question.

"how many guys have talked to you? and what's the highest number anyone's ever gotten to?"

roseanne is silent and just as the silence begins to turn awkward, she promptly turns on her heel and begins to walk away. she opens the door to the library before she seemingly changes her mind and looks back at jaehyun.

"two guys have talked to me. you're gonna have to ask fatima about the second question though. and jaehyun? the next number is 6."

96_-___-____.

+++

jaehyun finds fatima not soon after his conversation with roseanne. he's sitting in the nct house, watching johnny pace back and forth in his room, trying to figure out if what he was wearing was too casual for a date to a bowling alley.

it was way too formal, in jaehyun's opinion. but he was just going to wait for johnny to finish panicking (even if he would never admit that he was, in fact, panicking) to figure that out on his own. seriously though, who wore a button down and slacks to a bowling alley?

then again, he was going on a date with sia yoo so really, anything was fairplay when it came to that girl. she was a whirlwind of literally everything that could possibly go into a human being. she was a maximalist to the fullest, seizing every opportunity she could to make good memories, pressing forward with a sense of perfect clarity and sobriety that most people would be scared of.

the type of girl who was the main character of any story that she would feature in. sia was the type of person that people who trip and fall over themselves trying to have a good time with that she practically promised. she walked around with fairy dust in her fingers and a strange sense of wisdom that felt like she could read you like a book within a singular meeting with her.

jaehyun knows that she's the most intimidating out of all of the girls. out of you, roseanne, fatima, and sia, she was hands down the most frightening because even though she could read everyone else, no one could really read her.

then there was roseanne. she was the wet dream of every girl alive - the reason why straight girls lamented that they were straight and still falling a little bit in love with her. she was hot, flirtatious to the extent of making everyone wonder what they were when she gave them even a split second of attention, and so incredibly full of life. it doesn't surprise jaehyun that she had become exclusive with miyeon and yugyeom. for some reason, he feels like she just wouldn't have been able to settle for liking one person at once.

she was a little too much for just one person to be able to handle. she was like the human personification of a leather jacket wearing, motorcycle driving, woody cologne smelling wattpad trope. jaehyun understands her appeal all too well.

and then there was fatima. she was kind, sweet, kept to herself, and always offered a helping hand to those around her. jaehyun understood why kun had fallen so hard for her within two minutes of meeting her. she had an air about her that made you feel like she was someone who truly cared about you, even if you didn't know her and she didn't know you all that well. she was the type of girl who was always forgotten in the novels about warriors and princesses. the girl who was often reduced to nothing more than the main character's best friend.

until you met a girl like her in real life. fatima was still a little forgotten, and jaehyun knew that. guys often overlooked her in favor of her 'hotter' or 'wilder' friends, which is admittedly what jaehyun had thought at first. but she was just so genuine and clearheaded. she protected her peace in a way that was so unusual for young, college-going students. not to say that sia, roseanne, or you weren't genuine or anything like that. but fatima was the type of girl that jaehyun knew was perfect for kun. the girl that he could go home and know that no matter what he had done in his past, she would love him all the same.

and there was you. smart, strangely private, and a series of contradictions housed within one heart. jaehyun wracks his brain, trying to gather everything that he knew about you and yet, he comes up empty.

frustratingly empty.

jaehyun vaguely registers the fact that johnny has finally changed and is getting ready to go. he knows that he should say something about how johnny should just be himself and that sia liking him is completely up to her, regardless of what johnny were to do. but when he locks eyes with johnny, he realizes that johnny already knows.

so jaehyun just claps him on the back as he heads back to his room, his mind spinning as he tries to think of everything that he knows about you. and he draws a blank every fucking time.

he knows superficial things about you. maybe it's because he doesn't know you like he knows your friends. he hasn't talked to you as much as he's talked to them. but how does he not know you? he's been wanting to get with you for so long. he wanted more than just your body. he wanted your charm and your appeal.

was it just your body? is that all it was? is that all jaehyun wanted? somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to believe that. he doesn't want that for himself. logically, he knows that gianna's impact on his life shouldn't be extending this far. he knows that he shouldn't want or have to fight himself this hard but you're not making it much easier for him.

when was the last time jaehyun wanted to get to know such an enigma of a girl? gianna lee. and he wants nothing to do with a girl like that ever again.

and yet, here he is. falling into the same trap all over again.

jaehyun's so caught up in his own thoughts, feeling himself starting to spiral when he bumps in fatima and kun, who are equally caught up in a conversation with each other.

"oh, my bad," jaehyun mumbles, ready for fatima to brush past him but she doesn't, looking at jaehyun and then kun.

"hey man, we're headed back to my place. why don't you come back with us?" kun offers, and jaehyun just nods blankly, as he starts to follow them out of the nct house. kun stops at the entrance where he picks up a textbook from yuta, who had been borrowing it for the last week, before the three of them make their way out.

"how are you, jaehyun?" fatima asks with a sweet smile as they pile into kun's car. somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to give her a generic, insincere answer.

"i'm...okay. i'm just okay. confused but okay," jaehyun says and fatima seems alright with this answer. kun pulls out of the 'driveway' of the frat house, exchanging in a quiet conversation with fatima about what they were planning on eating for the night, leaving jaehyun to simmer in his thoughts.

gianna lee. there was a name that he thought about almost every day and never all at the same time. the girl who had made him and broke him. the girl that jaehyun had trusted with his heart and made him regret ever doing that.

the girl who had been the first love of his life.

+++

gianna was a year younger than him. smart, so incredibly sweet, and yet someone that no one could confidently say that they knew. she was the type of girl who could slip under the radar as easily as her friends seemed to always stay on top of.

she ran in the same circle as jaehyun had in senior year, right when jaehyun was beginning to blossom into the man that he was today. she had always been kind to him, if not a little withdrawn, even when he was a skinny boy with proportions that absolutely did not seem to match each other.

jaehyun didn't even know her well enough for her to break his heart, honestly. jaehyun had liked her even before having a proper conversation with her. he knew how left out she felt in her own body. even though he couldn't imagine a more gorgeous girl, he knew that she didn't feel that way about herself.

he knew that she always compared herself to her friends. her well-accomplished, 'main character' best friends who were the talk of the school. and her. no matter how intelligent or kind or put together she was, no one really looked at her the way that jaehyun did. she knew it.

even jaehyun couldn't place why he liked her so much. maybe it was the fact that he was somehow comforted that a girl with so much beauty could feel the same way as him. maybe it was the fact that she had always held the same smile for him, regardless of what he looked like. or maybe it was even the fact that one time, she had held his hand as she pulled him across the street, running to catch up with their friends who had already crossed.

jaehyun just remembers looking at her dyed cherry red hair falling into her eyes as she laughs, pulling him forward to where the rest of their friends were standing. and as he breathes in the smoke in the air and the raspberry scent of her perfume, he just knows that he really, truly likes gianna lee.

gianna lee doesn't like him the way that he likes her. he knows that. logically, jaehyun knows that his feelings are truly unfounded. he really has no reason to like gianna the way that he does. and yet, there's a part of him that holds onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll turn around with those big eyes and upturned lips and say that she likes him the way that he likes her.

so he continues to look at her first when he makes the friend group laugh. he always slips her a napkin when he's getting one for himself when they're out getting milkshakes. he offers to help her with apush when she's stressing about a test the next week.

the closer he gets to her, the more jaehyun realizes that really, she was nothing like the image of her he had conjured in his head. she was every bit sweet as he had thought but she was argumentative, competitive, and all too obsessed with perfection. she always needed to be right in an argument, always had to win, and always had to make sure that she looked flawless doing so.

jaehyun doesn't realize it, of course. he's so obsessed with his glazed over façade of her that he just continues to let her win the arguments even when he knows that she's wrong. and she lets him wrap his arms around her when she gets an 89% on her test.

he lets her walk all over him and she lets him act on his feelings.

it was a toxic, parasitic relationship that neither of them were truly happy in. when gianna asked him out, jaehyun hadn't felt like fireworks were going off in his stomach. he felt like he had won a prize at a marathon. like he'd won a medal.

gianna wasn't a medal. she was a flawed, beautiful human being - every bit gorgeous and horrible as jaehyun and every other human being was. but jaehyun had won, hadn't he?

he hadn't. and it took so long for him to realize that by the time he'd realized that gianna had really only taken to him out of pity, he was so far in his own head that he didn't know how to leave her.

eventually, the summer before college rolled around and gianna had taken it upon herself to do the nasty deed of breaking up with him. it had been an amicable split, as far as their friends were concerned.

but none of them had ever truly either of their friends. so what did they know?

what did they know about gianna finding comfort in her ex's arms? what did they know about her grades slipping at the end of the school year? what did they know about her having to excuse herself at a meeting for her internship to sob in the bathroom as she realized the true fallacy in the way she had acted? what did they know about the way she had to reconstruct herself bottom up? nothing.

what did they know about jaehyun spending every other night with a different girl, trying to ease the ache in his heart? what did they know about the obscene number of hours at the gym, not sure how to combat the sudden numbness after girl after girl? what did they know about the fact that jaehyun could not physically stand the smell of raspberries anymore? absolutely nothing.

no one knew anything until jaehyun had finally come to college. it was once he joined the frat and met guys who were so alike and different from him at the same time that he finally opened up about gianna.

only to doyoung, kun, and johnny but people nonetheless. everyone had gone through something similar - while for some it happened at college or back home, they all knew the pain. some of them were more in the fault than others but pain is pain and a paper cut bleeds the same red as a gunshot wound.

which is why when kun sits him down on the couch and fatima hands him a cup of iced tea to save them all from the sweltering heat as august makes a last stand against september's winds, jaehyun spills everything.

gianna. his past. his insecurities. everything. he knows he shouldn't. logically, fatima had nothing stopping her from going and telling everything that jaehyun had told her to you, but for some reason, jaehyun thinks that she won't.

she doesn't.

+++

fatima knows that jaehyun was going to talk to her about something like this. it seemed that all of the nct boys came with some level of trauma like this. she wasn't sure what it was about every single boy she had met in college (although, granted, they were either her friends' conquests or kun's friends - a very interesting group of very intertwined boys) having their hearts getting ripped to shreds. sometimes it was of their own volition but they all seemed to be some level of hurt either way.

so when jaehyun spills his heart out on kun's carpeted floors, she's ready with a well-rehearsed speech. he's one of six boys she'd already had this same exact conversation with (kun has a bad habit of picking up strays) but when he looks at her with such raw anguish in his eyes, she falters.

she looks to kun, who's looking at her with the same question that she knows jaehyun is asking.

"how do you know when to choose between your head and your heart? because my heart is so fucking scared of getting attached to someone again. but my head knows that i can't push everyone away because i'm scared."

fatima is quiet, searching for the right words. she's about to say something when kun speaks up, looking determinedly at fatima.

"you learn to choose you. instead of choosing between your head and your heart, just choose yourself. at the end of the day, you and y/n are good people who aren't trying to hurt each other. you're both trying not to get hurt. and honestly, maybe you'll realize that you both are better off as friends along the way. maybe you just realize that you don't want to be with someone right now. or maybe you find someone who makes you feel like you're safe and loved when you're around them, whether you're in love with them or not." fatima looks at kun with a soft smile, reaching out to hold his hand gently.

"you have to choose yourself, jaehyun. trust me. the more you start thinking about what is best for the people around you instead of thinking for yourself, you'll look back fifteen, twenty years down the road and see everyone but yourself in your life. don't do something because gianna and how she made you feel. don't let your past define your future," fatima says, and jaehyun can feel the tears prick his eyes. he blinks determinedly, trying to make them disappear but when kun sits on one side of him and fatima on the other, he starts losing his battle against his emotions, finally letting himself mourn the innocence he had once had.

he buries his head into fatima's shoulder and for some reason, he feels as though kun and fatima would be amazing parents. because jaehyun doesn't remember the last time that he had felt this safe in an embrace.

"and jaehyun? the furthest anyone has ever gotten is five numbers. you're at three. it's your call from here. do what you want, not what you think you need to do." fatima taps his shoulder gently and lets him cry for as long as he needs to.

963-___-____.

+++

jaehyun gets the next number from you. after his conversation with fatima, he's sure that if he wants to go any further than this, he needed to talk to you first.

it's strange. he's earning your number but it feels like jaehyun's somehow earning himself back. and when he finds you again, he knows that you can tell.

even johnny could tell. when he had come back from his (successful) date with sia, the first thing he had said was, "wow. you look so...light."

jaehyun hadn't said anything but 'thank you' but it was enough.

johnny had just smiled at him and recounted the date, stating that he was going to ask her to go on another date this saturday night. jaehyun doesn't mention the fact that nct is throwing that night because johnny already knows.

and honestly, sia is a junior and johnny is a senior. they've been to their fair share of parties. one party being missed wouldn't be life changing for them. but skipping a party as the vice president of a frat and a girl who was sought after as a sweetheart for six frats meant something nonetheless.

he hadn't expected that they were to get that serious that quickly but it was a refreshing change. even fatima and kun were starting about talking about talking to fatima's parents to get their blessing for their relationship. her dilemma was no secret and it seemed that the conversation between the three of them had served to help them through their own issues as well.

there was just something in the air, jaehyun had supposed. august turned to september in the week that jaehyun had wrestled with himself, eventually leading to seeking you out.

it had been at the nct party, actually. you were standing with some of your acquaintances, all of your friends having dispersed to do what they were going to do. jaehyun had been on the other side of the room, convincing bambam that it was most definitely not a good idea to try and pursue soyeon jeon if he wanted to make sure that he woke up with all his limbs intact the next morning.

you had met his eye, raising an eyebrow before continuing your conversation, all thoughts of him seemingly out of your mind. jaehyun looks between bambam (who has gone from trying to get with soyeon to jumping into the pool) (that pool had not been cleaned in a full six months) and you. he just finds jungwoo, one of the pledges, and hands him a very drunk bambam.

"do not let him do anything dumb. i'm counting on you pledge," jaehyun called out over his shoulder as he weaves through people to get to you.

"jaehyun! hey! long time no see," hailey whitfield says, throwing herself in jaehyun's arms. jaehyun looks at you, where you're staring straight at where hailey's body ends and his arms begin. jaehyun tries to push her off of him. once upon a time, jaehyun would've been behind happy about getting with her again - she was so good with her mouth. but now, he has no intentions of giving you the wrong impression.

at least until he has a proper conversation with you so that you knew where he stood with you. and where you stood with him.

"hey hailey, sorry i've gotta get to my friend," he says, not even looking at her as he pushes off of her, resuming his threading through the crowd to where you're standing. you look at him, unimpressed, but jaehyun knows you well enough to know that three numbers are enough to make you feel a certain way if jaehyun was fooling around with other girls.

which he hasn't been. not a single night. jaehyun jung's bed has been empty for an entire two weeks, something that doyoung and nairobi have been taking full advantage of.

even some of jaehyun's friends had started asking if he was having problems or something but he had brushed them off. he definitely wasn't having problems, if hailey whitfield was any indication. but he felt like it would be doing you dirty if he had someone in his bed while he was talking to your friends about you.

so he hadn't.

he knows you know. he knows that you know he's talked to sia, roseanne, and fatima. he'd figured that you'd find out either through them or just by him. he can tell by the look in your eyes that you've read him thoroughly.

so he really doesn't feel bad about pulling you away from your friends, taking you upstairs to his room. finally, doyoung had promised that they would go back to nairobi's place on the condition that jaehyun made sure that no one would try to fuck on his bed. he promised, knowing that the only person who'd be coming up here would be him. he needed to talk to you tonight. if he knew anything it was that.

but once you're sitting on his bed, watching him pace back and forward, he's lost everything he's been wanting to say. where does he even start? with gianna? with the questions he has for you? with the number? where does he begin?

jaehyun looks at you, where you're watching him with a small smile on your face and suddenly, it doesn't matter where he begins. you'll listen to it all. he knows that much.

"why do you want me to work for your number?" jaehyun asks. you look at him curiously, tilting your head as you piece together an answer.

"are you sure you don't know the answer to that question?" you say, folding your legs so that you're sitting criss cross on the navy covers.

"i do. but i want to hear it from you, y/n. you know what all your friends say about you? that they didn't properly know you until a full year of friendship with you. but they said that you never lie. so i want you to tell me," jaehyun says, chest heaving by the end of his ramble. his eyes turn soft as he watches you become more and more solemn and he steps forward, sitting down on his desk chair and swiveling it over so that he was sitting directly across from you.

you pause for a moment, searching for the words before saying anything. "i've never been in a relationship before. so i don't have the trauma that could come from something like that. but i know what it's like to lose your heart to someone. and i know that it hurts. i want to be loved in the way that i never thought i could be. so the number thing is just an excuse for me to get to the point where i won't feel guilty about liking someone."

you shrug, smiling but not allowing the smile to reach your eyes. "it's a good way to make sure that the guy knows what he's getting into either way."

jaehyun nods at that. he knew that much. it feels different hearing it from you though. when you're the one saying it, jaehyun knows that it's real. raw. not coming from people trying to protect you because they know that you're far too soft to truly come at him guns blazing.

somehow, he likes it. he likes that you're much softer than you seem. that you're a lot more vulnerable than you come off as. and for some reason, jaehyun hopes that you never perfect the art of becoming standoffish.

"hmm. you've never been in a relationship before?" jaehyun says finally and you nod, shrugging once more. a shadow of bittersweet nostalgia crosses your face before you're back to your soft smile and guarded yet curious eyes.

"nope. part of it was on me; i've got high standards, if you can't tell. and the other part was that i've always wanted someone who fascinates me. of course, i wasn't all that appealing to men because i spent so much time trying to beat them at the only thing they were good at - ego-boosting themselves but they weren't interesting. none of them were people i really wanted to get to know," you say, unfolding your legs.

jaehyun likes the fact that the tips of your toes are the only part of your feet that touch the ground from how far back you're sitting on the bed. in an act of boldness, jaehyun moves forward to sit next to you, right where you're sitting. his feet are flat on the floor, he realizes.

he doesn't know why he's noticing things like this but he is and something about that frustrates him, frightens him, and tugs at his heartstrings altogether.

"you're heartbroken, aren't you? boys like you always seem to be a little hurt," you say, tossing the words into the air like rose petals. they're recklessly thrown but they're somehow beautiful in the way that blackened roses are always beautiful.

"yeah. i was. i think i will always mourn who i was before that. i was so naïve. but i'm not him anymore. and i think i'm realizing that i'm actually okay with that." jaehyun says the words just as carelessly as you do but once they're out in the open, he realizes that he's being completely honest. he turns to you with a strange look though.

"boys like me?"

you smile and nod at him. "boys like you."

you stand up, walking to where jaehyun has a corkboard with a shitload of scraps and photos from the past two years. you don't mention the fact that none of the memories that he has on the board date from before senior year. you don't need to.

"boys like you who've never been loved completely. boys who think that they need to listen to what the world says about how they should be acting or thinking. boys who are hopeless romantics but what would the world say if they knew that these boys just wanted a little bit of love? what would they say if they were looking for warmth in an empty and cold bed?"

jaehyun hates that you're right. it's the college boy tragedy. condemned to never be able to completely heal from one bad experience and then always breaking hearts to collect enough pieces to build themselves a new one.

he didn't want to end like that. even if it wasn't with you, he was ready to grow past it. he didn't want to end as a heartbreaker.

"boys like me...and you like a boy like me?" jaehyun asks. he doesn't know why he does. this is the first proper conversation you've had with him when both of you are decidedly sober. you want to deflect the question but if he's being honest, that's a sign for you to be just as honest.

"i don't know. from what my friends say, and what i know about you as a person in class, i know you mean well. and honestly, i've always just been the type of person to like someone past things like the books they read or the way they dress," you say, still looking at the memories jaehyun's pieced together over the years on this board. "i feel something around you. and i don't know you well enough to know that i like you as someone more than a friend but i'd like to at least have the chance to get that far."

that's all jaehyun needs. he gets another number that night.

+++

jaehyun waits for you outside of intro to east asia, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to make it out of the classroom. you're the last one to leave, knowing that technically, you and jaehyun weren't allowed to see each other while he was your ta.

jaehyun had never really pegged you as someone with so much respect for the rules but you had argued that it was mostly about the principle.

he'd learned a lot about you that last weekend. you and him had stayed up all night, talking about nothing and everything under the sun until the sun itself rose, eventually falling asleep in a tangled mess of limbs and conversations.

he learned that while you didn't like the rules, you often followed them as long as they followed your own moral code. that you would die for your friends and that had landed you in many bad friendships when people would use that to their advantage before you'd met your friends in college. he learned that you were super close with your family, and that they were quite literally the best friends that you could always rely on.

and he learned that you wanted to see him again. on a date. sometime soon. so with no real way of communicating with you outside of social media (and he somehow felt like sliding into your dm's was corny and somewhat of a copout), here he was. waiting outside of the classroom like he was ripped straight from a 1950's romance movie. he even had the letterman jacket on to boot.

"oh my god, you scared me," you say, pressing a hand to your chest as you quite nearly bump into jaehyun. he smiles, readjusting his backpack on his shoulders as the two of you start walking.

"you knew i was waiting for you outside, didn't you?" he says, pushing the side door open to walk towards the parking lot, where he's convinced kun to let him borrow his car for the day.

"yeah but i didn't think you would be literally outside the door," you murmur, checking your phone to see the rest of your day's schedule. you had purposefully blocked off three hours of your schedule to hang out with jaehyun, which you were sure to regret later on when your organic chemistry class kicked your ass. but that was a later issue.

"well, i couldn't text you where i was so i figured i'd wait in plain sight," jaehyun retorts, opening the passenger door for you without a word. huh. that was the first time a man has ever done that for you. and jaehyun did it as though it were second nature - like it was a given.

you don't know why something so small means so much to you but you're alright with it. you're alright with just appreciating it.

"that's fair," you say. another number's on the tip of your tongue as you watch him get into the driver's seat but jaehyun beats you to the punch.

"don't give me a number. not yet," jaehyun says. "not that i don't want one. but i just...me waiting outside your classroom or opening your door isn't enough for a number. even if i don't get all ten, you've got to up your standards."

you don't know what to say to that so you don't say anything, turning on the music and letting the melody of chemtrails under the country club by lana del ray fill the rainy september afternoon sky.

+++

when jaehyun pulls up to a run down diner, you're pleasantly surprised. although you're not much of a sucker for romantic places, the fact that jaehyun is somehow makes you happy. it makes you happy that he still sees the beauty in places like these. and when you look over at him, dimples threatening to show as he breathes in the air of misty fog and the smell of milkshakes and burgers, you're so tempted to kiss him.

so you lean over, looking at him with a twinkle in your eyes once jaehyun has parked.

"can i kiss you?" you ask, mere inches from his lips. jaehyun just looks at you, and from this close, you realize just how beautiful his eyes are. they're dark, darker than anyone else's that you know. and yet, it feels like you could fall in and never regret it.

"please."

it's all you need. and it's all he needs because as soon as word slips from his lips, he's pressing forward, his lips against yours. he's soft, you register vaguely. nothing like last time. nothing like how he'd kissed you like he could think of nothing but absolutely ruining you.

jaehyun is soft. like the feeling of slipping a cold hand into someone's warm jacket pocket. he kisses you like he's scared of ruining you. ruining this. and you're absolutely addicted to the feeling.

the feeling of knowing that he could just claim you instead of trying his best to claim your heart. no matter how fucked up it was that you were even thinking that someone could 'claim' you. he wasn't like that and you could work with that.

he pulls away from you, eyes still closed as he sits against the drivers seat, his head against the headrest. you watch him, a silly and childish smile on your face - although you're not really sure why it's there in the first place. but who are you to knock anything?

there aren't many words to exchange as the two of you make your way into the diner. jaehyun had opened your car door again. this time, you just offer him your hand and you're strangely alright with just how safe you feel with his hand locked in yours.

the diner seems as though time has frozen still here.

and everything about the date seems the same. it feels as though time has frozen still - almost as though the two of you are in a little bubble with no one but each other. it's a feeling you haven't experienced in a while. a feeling you don't think you've ever had because of a boy.

it feels...almost scarily comfortable. it doesn't feel as though there are fireworks exploding for every word that jaehyun says. but it does feel as though that there's a hot mug of cocoa that's been handed to you on a cold winter night. and that feeling, the feeling of warmth spreading through every corner of your body, is the feeling that you know is good for you.

so you listen to him, watch him speak animatedly about basketball or a book he read, chin resting in your palm as you find yourself falling deeper and deeper.

jaehyun gets two numbers that day.

+++

it doesn't take much longer for jaehyun to get the rest of the numbers. soon enough, you're more than happy just to spend time with him the way that you spend time with your friends. you feel as though you've made a good friend out of someone you'd thought that you wouldn't even be able to get along with.

"you know, when i first met you, even before i knew you, i really didn't like you," you say, taking a sip out of your latte. the seasons have changed, fall giving way to winter. the november air bites your skin every time someone opens the door to the tiny café the two of you were sitting in.

jaehyun smiles, nodding as he leans back in his chair. "i know. i could tell by the look in your eyes."

"the look in my eyes?"

"yeah. the one that said that you wanted to get to know me. to figure out my deal even if you didn't necessarily want to find out for sure. kind of like you wanted to be the one that said 'aha!' at the end of a movie, even though you weren't sure of the ending at all."

you look at jaehyun for a moment before laughing, shaking your head as you laugh. "you're even starting to talk like me now."

jaehyun pauses before he nods, smiling with you. "yeah, i know. you've rubbed off on me in a lot of ways."

"i've improved your music taste, that's for sure," you snort, taking another sip out of your latte. "i still can't believe you didn't like ric flair drip when we met."

"it's not that i didn't like it and it's still not that i like it now. but i guess i just have a good memory associated with it now so it's growing on me," jaehyun says. your eyebrows furrow as you try to recollect what good memory he could possibly be referring to.

"oh my god. the night that we met! i was trying to get in your pants with ric flair drip," you say incredulously, shivering when someone opens and closes the door once more. jaehyun hands you his hoodie, leaving his arm extended silently when you protest.

you don't know why you still bother trying to protest with him when you knew you were going to lose. you put the sweater on as jaehyun starts talking, letting the scent of clean water and pine trees swaddle you softly.

"honestly, i think i was more than you that night," jaehyun says, as he looks at you with an incriminating twinkle in his eyes. "that was around the time that even taeyong said that he wanted to see if kun's vivid descriptions were true or not. and i wasn't about to let him get the opportunity to get to you before i did. i don't know why. i felt almost protective over you. but not in a good way. in the type of way where i wanted to show you how good i could make you feel - more than anyone could even begin to think of making you feel."

the previously cold café begins to become a lot hotter than you were feeling before, clearing your throat as you try to let the moment pass.

"how did we even get here?" you say, fanning yourself delicately. the move only serves to work against you when you fan yourself so that the scent of his cologne on his hoodie only gets stronger in your mind.

jaehyun leans back, letting you switch the conversation. he'd bring it up to you later in the night, anyway. besides, for someone who puts on such a strong front, it's honestly a little fun to see you squirm at the slightest implications from jaehyun.

"but, uh, jaehyun. i've been meaning to ask you something for a while," you begin, fidgeting with the wrapper of the straw in front of you. jaehyun tilts his head as if to question what you have to say as he waits patiently.

"what are we?"

now jaehyun is truly confused. was the past month of going on dates not clear enough? jaehyun wasn't going on dates with anyone else. oh my god. were you going on dates with other men? is that why you're asking.

"i thought we were dating?" jaehyun says, phrasing his sentence more like a question than a statement. "i mean i'm not talking to anyone else and i kinda assumed that since i'd gotten all ten numbers, neither were you."

you hum, unable to stop the silly smile on your face.

"good. that's just what i was thinking too."

+++

honestly, everything about jaehyun jung is appealing to you. from the way that he engulfs you in a hug when you're up late studying. or the way that he convinces you that you have a virus on your laptop just so that he could spend more time with you 'fixing' your laptop for you. or the way that he sits with you and your friends, patiently listening and offering advice wherever he can (or honestly, is just allowed to speak).

you're so glad to see him like this. as your boyfriend of four and a half months (you hadn't let him make it official until he was no longer your ta), you've seen him grow in ways that you'd never thought. jaehyun was every inch the stupid, naïve fuckboy you'd thought him to be in the beginning. and he was also every inch the hopeless romantic with a little too much love to give for a scarred heart.

so you heal together. you help each other when you quite literally can't handle the pain and together, you grow. he's more confident. not just in the way that he looks - but the way that he speaks around people. the way that he educates himself. the way that he communicates how he feels.

and he helps you everyday. he shows you what it feels like to be loved the way you love others. he shows you that you are worth the princess treatment. and most importantly for you, he loves the people around you the way you love the people around you.

kun and fatima find their happy ending. fatima had spoken to her parents and while they took some time to warm up to kun, his soft demeanor and the way that he loved fatima so completely and sincerely eventually won them over. fatima even met kun's parents with equal success, although kun's mother kept asking when fatima and kun would get married.

(their wedding was already in the works by both fatima's mother and kun's mother. you were beyond elated to go to both the traditional muslim ceremony and the traditional chinese ceremonies.)

johnny and sia ended up going out on a couple more dates before realizing that they probably just weren't meant to be a couple. they loved each other as friends and were probably always going to hold a special place in each other's lives but it just wouldn't be as each other's significant others. johnny was already starting to retreat from the frat boy lifestyle after meeting a girl at the library one day. and sia had finally met someone who could handle her crazy personality with a sweet smile, bringing her back down to reality whenever she went a little...too lively. you're looking forward to meeting him over summer, where the four of you and your friends were going on a vacation together.

roseanne, yugyeom, and miyeon still haven't put a label on their relationship. but you've caught roseanne falling asleep in yugyeom's arms more than once (one too many times than rosie cares to admit) so you figure that it's a good thing that they've all found each other. as unconventional as their relationship might be, they all mesh together so well that you can't even find it in yourself to question it. all's fair in love and war.

jaehyun and you frequent the diner as a favorite date night spot to visit, although you're upset to hear that they're remodeling the entire establishment for favor of a new, more 'modern' atmosphere. although how modern a diner could get was a little bit of a strange notion. but as people change, so do the winds.

and when you walk into the diner the next semester, hand in hand with jaehyun, you're a little comforted to see that diner is now a speakeasy (in true 1970s fashion) with three words written in blinding rhinestones against the velvet background. of course.

ric flair drip.

#jnnul #nct fic #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fluff #nct fluff #jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct 127 fic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #jaehyun angst #nct angst #nct x reader #jaehyun x reader #nct 127 x reader #jaehyun imagines #nct imagines

[yoroyorobozu]

Beautiful names i adore <3

✧﹒₊‧  ྀི࿚ ͜ ࣪ . ་   ˖ ࣪ ⋆'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

Airelle | Alexa | Astaroth | Aurora

Belle | Blair | Bloom | Beatrice | Betelgeuse

Cecilia | Carina | Cleo | Caitlyn

Dahlia | Delilah | Diana | Dina

Elivia | Evelyn | Evangeline | Elise

Flora | Felicie | Fatima | Fawn | Farah | Fern

Giulia | Gwenna | Giselle | Gwyneth

Helena | Heretica | Hera | Hadley

Idalia | Irene | Ivana | Ivelle | Iara

Jessica | Jennifer | Jasmine | June | Juliette

Kiara | Kathlina | katherine | Karina

Luna | Liana | Lilia | Lumina | Lavender

Maryam | Marilyn | Malena | Monica | Marie

Nancy | Nadin | Nina | Nayara | Natalie

Odette | Odesia | Odelia | Olivia

Pixie | Polina | Phyllis | Psyche

Quenna | Quilla | Quinn

Ravena | Roseanne | Ronette | Rosemary

Selena | Sofia | Starla | Stella | Sprina

Tiara | Thalita | Thea | Tiana | Therese | Tori

Violet | Veronica | Venus

Wulan | Wanda | Winona | Winter

Zanita | Zafilyn | Zaferinna | Zora | Zoe

Note = No matter what you are.. who you are.. I'm proud of you because you still stand up for yourself.. you still Alive seeing this! Even tho maybe Dead inside.. You are beautiful, perfect. just the way you are.. everyone would be perfect in the right person :)♡ Love- Lilia

💌 ✧﹒₊ +  ྀི♡ ྀི࿚ ͜ ࣪ . ་   ˖ ࣪ 💐

#aesthetic moodboard #messy icons #moodboard #Aesthetic symbols #Aesthetic icons #Messy moodboards #Kpop icons #Anime icons #Name ideas #Username ideas #Cutie pie #Coquette icons #dollette icons #cottagecore icons #Fairycore icons #Y2k icons #Gothic icons #goth icons #Viral #Cute Icons #I love you #And You're Perfect #Just the way you are #Kawaii icons #Cute moodboards #cute moodboard #Username #Name #Cute names #Name for babys

[octuscle]

I work as a janitor at a local hospital and I'm tired of all the snobby attitudes around here. There's this new young doctor who everyone keeps fawning over and I totally get why. Young, smart, incredibly attractive- I'm sure you get the picture. But the other day I heard him talking about the janitorial staff and saying stuff like "this is why I did well in school." Earlier when he was helping perform a surgery, I nabbed his laptop and input some changes to bring him down a few levels and give him a new appreciation for the janitors here. I'd love to see his face tonight when he starts slowly changing.

You can't help being born with a golden spoon in your mouth. No one can help being handsome and intelligent. But the question is always what you do with it. Or if you are suddenly no longer born with a golden spoon in your mouth. And not quite as intelligent. But beautiful in a different way.

When Shawn walks to the parking lot after a hard day in the OR, something is different… Where his brand-new model should be, among all the flashy Porsches, there's a 911 that's about ten years old. The leather seats are a little worn. But didn't his parents just give him a new one for Christmas? Shit, maybe it was just too much work today. Maybe he shouldn't go out for a fancy dinner with the others tonight. Just go to bed early instead.

Normally, Shwan would have had to chase his sports car, engine howling, toward downtown. Into the underground garage beneath his apartment building. The apartment his parents gave him. But as if in a trance, he drives toward the high-rise housing complex on the outskirts of the city. Fatima's hand dangles from the rearview mirror. Arabic music plays on the radio.

Shawn curses the idiots who can't park. He spends more than half an hour looking for a place to park his beat-up old van. If all the Sunday drivers had parked properly, there would have been five or six spaces available. Idiots! The leftovers he took from the hospital cafeteria have long since gone cold, of course. He takes the bags and carries them up to the apartment on the sixth floor. Of course, the elevator doesn't work again. That's a bit of his own fault. After working at the hospital, he is the janitor here in the apartment complex. He puts the food on the kitchen table. His parents and younger siblings eat it greedily. They don't care that it's pork. Shawn doesn't tell them either. It's pointless anyway. Before collapsing on the bed, exhausted, he grabs the toolbox again and goes to the elevator machine room.

Yahya never planned to be the breadwinner for his family. But after fleeing Syria, he was the only one who spoke English. How he would have loved to finish his mechanical engineering degree, which he had almost completed. But earning money was a higher priority. And the hospital job wasn't bad. It paid well. He might even be able to continue his studies. He worked hard for two things: his body, which he was proud of. And for his career. It was easy to stay rich if you were born rich. Yahya wanted to be rich because he was born poor.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #race change #ai image

[mxnsterbabe]

Male Werewolf/Female Reader

NSFW

Wordcount: 3,302

Commissions | Ko-fi | Masterlist

Tags & Warnings: mentions of chronic pain

You've loved Logan since you were a kid, and never thought he felt the same. Until he proves you wrong.

You sat in the window seat of Velvet Latte, surrounded by the bright stream of your friends' laughter. Your gaze, almost involuntarily, drifted towards Levi. He was laughing heartily at something Amais, the quiet one in your group, had just said. His golden curls caught the sunlight streaming through the window, creating a halo around him, and for a moment, he seemed almost otherworldly.

It’s almost impossible to tell what he really is, except for the slightly sharpened canines and the way his eyes almost glow under the natural light.

Levi, with his boyish charm and a smile that could outshine the sun, had been your constant through the years. He had been the keeper of your secrets, your partner in crime since childhood. There was one secret you had held back from him: the way your heart skipped a beat every time he smiled your way.

Lost in your thoughts, you were oblivious to May's observant eyes on you. It was only when she leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye, and teased, "Looks like someone's more interested in the view than the conversation," that reality crashed back in. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, turning them a deep shade of crimson. Words stumbled over each other in your attempt to respond, but nothing coherent came out.

Levi, who had been reaching to grab something from the backpack tossed over his wheelchair handles, now turned to look at you with furrowed brows.

May leaned in and said, "Honestly, when are you two going to get together already? Watching you pine over each other is painful!"

The table erupted into laughter, but you couldn't help but notice Levi's reaction. His smile faltered for a moment, and a blush crept up his neck, coloring his freckled cheeks, and he shifted awkwardly in his wheelchair.

Your heart sank a little. The familiar weight of unrequited love settled in your chest.

Needing a moment to compose yourself, you excused yourself to the restroom. No sooner had you left the table than Fatima, quiet until now, followed you. In the sanctuary of the bathroom, away from the curious eyes of your friends, you leaned against the cool tiled wall, trying to hide your disappointment.

Fatima stood beside you, her expression soft and understanding. "Hey," she began gently, "you know he likes you, right? Levi's always been terrible at hiding his feelings, especially where you're concerned."

You shook your head, unconvinced. "Did you see his reaction? It's like he was embarrassed by the idea of us being together."

Fatima sighed, her hand reaching out to squeeze yours. "You're reading it all wrong. We've all seen the way he looks at you when you're not watching. It's the same way you look at him."

"What if I'm just seeing what I want to see?" you murmured, the uncertainty clear in your voice.

"We've all known each other since we were kids. It's always been you and Levi, Levi and you. Even Amais, who’s probably the least observant man in the world, can see it. You both care about each other so much, it's almost tangible."

Her words offered a glimmer of hope, but the fear of ruining what you already had with Levi loomed large in your mind. "What if I'm risking too much?" you asked.

"Sometimes," Fatima said softly, "it's the risks we don't take that we regret the most. Levi's your best friend. Even if things don't turn out the way you hope, you'll figure it out. You always do."

You let out a deep breath, her words sinking in. There was truth in what she said, a truth you had been too afraid to confront. Even so, the thought of not knowing, of always wondering what if, seemed even more daunting.

As you and Fatima headed back to the table, you resolved to pay more attention, to look for those small signs of affection from Levi. Maybe, just maybe, your feelings weren't as one-sided as you'd feared. Or maybe they were. Honestly, you couldn’t tell; despite what Fatima had said.

“Come on,” Fatima said kindly, “let’s go back to the table.”

May looked at you apologetically as you returned a minute later, hands cupped around your coffee cup. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable earlier," she said with a sincere tone. "Just couldn't resist a little teasing."

You offered her a small smile. "It's okay, May. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Amais added, "Yeah, we all know May's sense of humor by now. Comes with no filter and good intentions."

Laughter rippled through the group, easing the earlier tension. You sipped your coffee, the rich aroma calming your frayed nerves. Soon enough though, Fatima downed the last of her drink and announced, “Sorry folks, but I have to go. If I miss another class, my lecturer might actually kill me.”

Fatima and May headed off to college, chatting about an upcoming project, awkwardness already forgotten.

Amais took this chance to say goodbye too. “Gotta go too,” he said, “I promised my girlfriend I’d stop by before I go home.”

Soon, it was just Levi and you, left in the quiet aftermath of the bustling café. You stood there, awkwardly shuffling your feet, about to apologize for the awkwardness earlier.

Before you could say anything, Levi interrupted, his voice tinged with a seriousness you rarely heard from him. "May might be onto something, you know," he said, his gaze fixed on you. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a while."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you found yourself holding your breath, waiting for his next words.

"I've been trying to hide it, but I can't anymore," Levi continued, his voice steady but his eyes betraying a hint of vulnerability. "I care about you, you know. More than just as a friend. I have for a long time now."

The world seemed to pause around you, his confession hanging in the air. You searched his eyes, looking for any sign of hesitation, but all you saw was the raw honesty of his feelings.

"Levi, I..." you started, but words failed you. How could you express years of hidden affection, of dreams and hopes cautiously guarded in your heart?

He leaned closer across the table, his presence both familiar and exhilarating. "I understand if you don't feel the same way," he said softly. "I don't want to ruin what we have, but I had to tell you because not knowing is worse than any rejection."

His confession echoed your own fears. You reached out, taking his hand in yours. "Levi, I've felt the same way for so long, but I was too scared to say anything. I was afraid of losing you, of changing everything."

"Between us," Levi's voice lowered, carrying a seriousness that anchored the moment. "You need to know, I'm not easy to be with. You know I’m a werewolf but… can you handle the reality of it?"

His words hung in the air, heavy. You glanced around the café, acutely aware of the people nearby, the risk of eavesdroppers.

"Levi, this isn't the place to discuss it," you said, your voice low. "For what it's worth, I've never cared about that. I've always accepted you for who you are, even if you keep that side hidden."

He hesitated, then continued, "It's more than just being a werewolf, Clara. There's the chronic pain, the nightmares-"

You cut him off, not with words, but with a kiss. It was a bold move, one that surprised both of you, but in that moment, it felt like the only right response. Your lips met his, conveying everything words couldn't - acceptance, courage, and the depth of your feelings for him.

The kiss was brief but spoke volumes. As you pulled away, you saw a mix of astonishment and relief in Levi's eyes.

"I've seen you at your best and your worst, Levi. I've been by your side through everything since we were kids. Do you really think I'm going to run away now because of challenges I already know about?" you asked, your voice firm yet gentle.

Levi looked at you, and there was a new kind of awe in his gaze. "I guess I've underestimated you, haven't I?" he said, a soft chuckle escaping him.

"Just a bit," you replied, smiling.

You both stood there for a moment, in the midst of the café's gentle hum, understanding the magnitude of what had just unfolded. You had crossed a threshold, stepping into a new chapter of your relationship, one that had been waiting to be written for years.

"Let's go somewhere we can talk," Levi suggested, his hand reaching for yours.

You nodded in agreement, squeezing his hand. The world outside felt different now, like you were seeing it through a new lens. There was excitement, a hint of apprehension, but above all, there was a sense of rightness, of pieces falling into place.

Leaving the café, you both ambled to the parking lot, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows on the ground. There, Levi's car awaited; you assisted him in storing his wheelchair in the back of the car. Despite needing it for longer distances, he didn’t always need it.

The drive to your house was filled with a comfortable silence, the kind only shared by those who know each other inside out. As Levi parked the car and you both entered your home, a sense of privacy and freedom enveloped you. Finally, you were in a space where you could speak freely, without the prying eyes and ears of the world outside.

Inside, you turned to Levi, your heart racing with a mix of nervousness and excitement. "Levi, before you say whatever you want to say, there’s something I need you to know," you began, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looked at you, a gentle encouragement in his eyes; and maybe a touch of wariness too.

Taking a deep breath, you let the words flow, words that had been pent up inside you for far too long. "I love you, Levi. I've loved you for more years than I can remember. It's always been you, in every daydream, in every quiet moment when my mind drifts."

Levi's expression softened, a tender look crossing his face as he listened.

"So what if you’re a werewolf?," you continued, "it doesn't scare me. I've known for a long time, and it's never changed how I feel about you. I see you, Levi, not the werewolf or the chronic pain or the anything else. I see the man who's been my best friend, my rock. I see the person I love."

You paused, searching his face for a reaction. Levi reached out, gently cupping your face in his hands, his eyes shining silver.

"You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear those words," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I've been so afraid that my being a werewolf would drive you away, that it would be too much for you to handle."

You shook your head emphatically. "Nothing about you could ever drive me away, Levi. You’re stuck with me.”

He smiled, before gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I can’t think of anything better.”

You leaned in, closing the small gap between you, and your lips met in a kiss that felt like the culmination of years of unspoken feelings. The kiss was gentle at first, an exploration, his lips soft and pliant against your own. Levi's lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your heart flutter.

As the kiss deepened, the intensity grew. Levi, letting out a faint growl, gently pushed you against the wall, his hands framing your face. You could feel his heartbeat, fast and strong, echoing your own racing pulse.

Except, Levi's movements were slightly unsteady on his feet, knees trying not to buckle. You noticed the slight wobble, the brief flicker of concentration on his face as he tried to maintain balance.

"Levi, let's sit down," you suggested softly, breaking the kiss for a moment. You didn't want the moment to end, but you cared more about his comfort and safety.

He nodded, an apology in his eyes, and you led him to the sofa. As you both sat down, you offered a smirk and dove in for another kiss. You straddled him, feeling the warmth of his body beneath you. Levi looked up at you, his dark grey eyes filled with an intensity that took your breath away.

You resumed the kiss, this time with the comfort of the sofa supporting you both. The kiss was different now, a desperation in your movements that hadn’t been there before. You nibbled at his lower lip, smiling when you felt him gasp.

You could feel Levi's hands exploring your back, gentle yet confident. His touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that you hadn't fully realised was there. You were acutely aware of every point of contact, of the heat radiating from his body, of his heartbeat syncing with yours.

In this moment, straddling him on the sofa, you felt a surge of desire course through you. You ground against him, delighted when you felt something prod against your inner thigh.

You pulled back to see Levi flush. “Sorry.”

Your grin was wicked. “Don’t be. Want to do something about it?”

“You mean..?”

God, his shyness was so sweet! “Yes, I mean it,” you murmured, and ducked back down to capture Levi’s mouth in your own. The warmth radiating from him made you squirm, and his cock jumped to attention at the contact.

Levi's nervousness was palpable as he raised a shaking hand to your chest. You wanted to show him how much he meant to you, to reassure him of your desire. Taking the lead, you began to unbutton your shirt slowly, your eyes locked with his, a smile playing at your lips as he drank you up.

As each button came undone, revealing more of your skin, Levi's eyes followed your movements, a mix of awe and uncertainty in his gaze. His breath hitched slightly, the tension in the air almost tangible. You felt his cock twitch against your thighs.

With your shirt now open, you reached for his. He tensed as your fingers worked on his buttons, his self-consciousness evident. You could feel his apprehension, but you were determined to show him how much you loved every part of him.

As his shirt fell open, your eyes took in the sight of his lean chest. The muscles were well-defined, his skin silky smooth and dusted with golden hair. Your gaze was drawn to an old tattoo on his shoulder, slightly faded but still distinct; an old pinup from his younger days.

"You're beautiful," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity.

Levi looked at you, a mix of surprise and something deeper in his eyes. He hesitantly brought his hands to your waist, his touch light as if he was still unsure. You took his hands in yours, guiding them along your back, encouraging him to explore.

His touch grew more confident, spurred by your guidance and the trust in your eyes. You leaned into his touch, your skin tingling at the contact. It was then that you realised how much you wanted him. Needed him.

You leaned in for another kiss, this one charged with a new intensity. Levi responded with a passion that matched your own, his earlier hesitation melting away under the heat of your embrace.

“I want more,” you mumbled against his neck, as you slipped down to pepper kisses along his bare skin. “Can we..?”

“Fuck yes.”

It was all the invitation you needed. Reaching between your hot thighs, you unbuttoned his jeans. He sprang free, lying heavily in your palms; he was bigger than you expected, and it sent a thrill through you.

Levi’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry, I’m having a hard time controlling myself.”

You stroked him, gently, but it was enough to have him growling as you continued to nip as his neck. “Good,” you replied, “I like that.”

He squirmed beneath you as you touched him, your fingers gentle - and then more insistent. He was warm and hard against your palm, and you found yourself grinding into him, desperate for friction.

“Wait, sl-slow down,” Levi gasped, his cheeks stained a beautiful pink. “I won’t last if you keep that up.”

His hands grasped your hair, and you felt the tug of nails scraping against your skull. Long, sharp nails that sent a delicious sting through your scalp.

You moaned, back arching as Levi scraped his nails - claws - down the base of your neck, all the way down your back. You caught a glimpse of glowing eyes and narrowed pupils when you arched back and oh, he was stunning.

Deft hands continued to pump with renewed fervour, your whole body alight with hot, needy desire. You watched as Levi’s eyes turned from warm grey to shocking, bright silver before his head tilted back and he let out a delicious growl.

You knew he wasn’t going to last long; but when he came in your palm and left a hot, sticky trail of come, you still felt yourself flush. The sight of him so blissed out, hair spread across the pillow and glowing eyes looking nervously up at you, was enough to make your mind reel.

His hand gripped the back of your neck as he came, claws digging into the sensitive flesh. You felt yourself reach your peak from that alone, head thrown back as you stuttered out Levi’s name. The fire inside of you was overwhelming as you squeezed your eyes closed.

Afterwards, breathless and flushed, you sank into the sofa beside Levi. When you glanced over, Levi’s eyes had returned to their usual dark, inviting grey.

He flushed, head tilted away as he tried to shove himself back into his jeans. His hands were shaking, and so with a chuckle, you reached out to put a hand over his.

Levi’s expression shifted to one of slight embarrassment. He pulled back slightly, his eyes avoiding yours. “I’m sorry, I got carried away,” he muttered, a hint of regret lacing his voice. “Sometimes I… it’s difficult to keep human form. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You looked at him, seeing the uncertainty in his eyes, and felt a surge of affection. You reached out, gently turning his face towards yours. “Levi, there's nothing to be sorry about,” you said softly. “I liked it.”

“You did?”

To reassure him, you leaned in for a kiss, this time a gentle, tender one. As your lips met, you felt him relax, the tension easing from his body.

After the kiss, you snuggled up to his side, resting your head on his shoulder. His arm instinctively wrapped around you, pulling you closer. In that embrace, you felt a sense of peace and contentment. The warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the quiet breathing all combined to create a cocoon of security.

As you nestled closer to Levi, you could feel his body relax further, the earlier embarrassment fading away. His hand stroked your hair gently, a soothing rhythm. You looked up at him, and in the soft light of the room, his eyes met yours.

"Thank you," Levi whispered, his voice barely audible. "For understanding, for accepting me.”

You smiled, lifting your hand to caress his cheek. "I should be the one thanking you."

As you drifted off to sleep, your head on Levi's shoulder, his heartbeat a steady lullaby, you felt a profound sense of gratitude for being able to share tonight with him.

#exophilia fiction #exophilia #monster boyfriend #monster x reader #monster romance #tag: were #tag: male monster #tag: female reader #tag: mxf #tag: not sfw #tag: disabled character

[yns-world]

Your intros seem really cool! May I request intros with Fujin and Nightwolf (you can add whoever else if you wish) with a fem reader who's a demon, but is very insecure, shy, and genuinely nice? Have a good day/night!

a/n: mmmm i love the demon idea. i want to do something with a demon reader but in a more aggressive way, maybe in another post 💆‍♀️

Various x F!Demon!Reader Intros

Characters: Fujin & Nightwolf

Fujin: “I’ve never met a mythical creature like you.”

Y/N: “I’m repulsive, I know.”

Fujin: “Quite the opposite, you’re remarkable. 

Fujin: “It’s an honor to fight a demon.”

Y/N: “Says who?”

Fujin: “Says me.”

Y/N: “How could you even look at me?”

Fujin: “I see past the physical self. Your soul is one of the kindest I’ve ever seen.”

Y/N: “There’s no room for vermin like me on Earthrealm.”

Nightwolf: “If there’s room for the likes of Johnny Cage, then there’s room for you.”

Nightwolf: “Knowing you, your kind has been greatly misrepresented.”

Y/N: “You make it seem like we’ve been done wrong.”

Nightwolf: “You have, and I apologize for once believing in those incorrect notions.”

Nightwolf: “I would sell my soul for you.”

Y/N: “Why…? Don’t you know what I am?”

Nightwolf: "It's less about what you are, and more about who you are."

a/n: fatima's back at it again with two posts in one day 😩 appreciate it while you can

as always, check my pinned post for request rules! i hope y'all have a great day and i'll catch y'all in the next post ;) <3

#yns world #mortal kombat #mk11 #mortal kombat x reader #requests open #mk11 x reader #fujin x reader #nightwolf #fujin mortal kombat #mk fujin #mk11 fujin #mk fujin x reader #mk nightwolf #mk11 nightwolf #mortal kombat request #mortal kombat intros #mk11 intros #mortal kombat hcs #mortal kombat headcanons #mk11 hcs #mk11 headcanons

[raplinesmoon]

A Place For Us (KSJ x F!reader)

pairing: ex-boxer!Seokjin x lawyer!reader (from On The Ropes)

genre(s): angst! and fluff

au(s): established relationship, parents au

word count: 4.5k

warnings: Seokjin and OC are older (late 40s/early 50s), being a parent is hard, moody teenagers, revelations, mentions of infertility, words are exchanged, lots of crying, doubts and insecurities about relationships, flashbacks, making up (happy ending yay!), brief makeout session at the beginning

rating: pg-15 (the OTR universe is 18+)

summary: It’s always on the most momentous occasions that things fall apart - but with some luck, love is always enough to bring people back together.

a/n: Happy 1 year anniversary to OTR! I’ve had this drabble in my head for quite some time, and I shed so many tears writing it. It’s pretty angsty, but really special to me (and you get to meet the newest member of the Kim family!). The title of this is inspired by my absolute favorite book, A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza. Nothing I write will ever come close to it, but please go and read it right now (the drabble can wait). I hope you enjoy!!

glossary: olchaeng-i (tadpole)

Seokjin darts his eyes nervously between the two options - black tartan or blue paisley, and feels pain shoot up between his eyebrows. Rubbing his eyes, he lets out a heavy sigh, wondering if it was finally time to go see the eye doctor after you’d begged him for weeks.

He hears the door close softly behind him, and your telltale perfume waft into the room, the warmth of your arms wrapping around his back.

“I don’t know why you even bother, you always pick blue,” you whisper into his ear, and he turns at the sound of your voice.

It’s been twenty years, and Seokjin is still never prepared for the sight of you in a dress, never failing to knock the wind out of him every time. He pauses, trying to refrain from vocalizing the first silly, ludicrous thought that creeps into the back of his mind, and instead return to the pressing matter at hand.

“Maybe it’s time to go with something different, the black does match my hair,” he snickers, knowing that now his head was more littered with grey strands than anything.

“You are hopeless,” you huff, snatching up the blue paisley tie and beckoning him closer, wrapping it around his neck. He watches your face scrunch in concentration as you tie it, tongue poking out from between your lips, and his foot taps on instinct, resisting the urge to disrupt your focus and kiss you.

“There,” you step back, admiring your handiwork, but Seokjin pulls you back into him.

“How much time do we have?” he asks, his eyes glimmering and gaze hungry, drinking in every inch of your body.

“We have a little bit,” you whisper against his lips with a smirk, sliding your hand underneath his suit jacket and feeling the hard planes of his chest. “She was still starting her makeup when I left.”

Seokjin barely lets you finish before his lips descend on yours, palms digging into your ass, and it’s a matter of moments before he’s backed you up against the door, wedging a thigh in between your legs to keep you spread open for him. 

“Seokjin… please… careful,” you try to warn him, but the words are lost in between moans when he moves to your neck, licking and sucking at your pulse point.

Before you know it, the long skirt of your dress is hiked up to your waist, Seokjin’s hand barely pulling aside the embarrassingly wet fabric of your lacey white thong when—

“MOOOOOOOM!!!”

The two of you freeze, breathing heavily. Seokjin’s eyes are still dark pools, and he shakes his head silently, begging you not to go.

“Mom, I need help zipping up my dress!” your daughter’s frantic voice echoes from outside the door, and you both move quickly, untangling yourself from each other. You straighten out Seokjin’s crooked tie, and he falls to his knees, smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress. The two of you collect yourselves, and then you’re off, pressing a kiss to Seokjin’s cheek as you open the door.

“We’ll finish this later.”

“Appa, how much longer?”

Jin-ae sighs heavily. It’d been nearly an hour in the car, and they still weren’t anywhere close to this wedding. She watches her parents whisper to each other in the front seat, whispering quietly to one another, and huffs, pulling out her phone to text Hae, her best friend. 

“Five minutes, olchaeng-i,” Seokjin chuckles.

“Appaaaa!” Jin-ae flushes with embarrassment at the childhood nickname. 

When I first met you, her appa’s voice echoes in her head, you were on the ultrasound monitor, no bigger than a tadpole.

It’d been cute when she was younger, but now she was fifteen, and growing up. She didn’t just want to be his little tadpole for the rest of her life.

Get me out of this car, she texts Hae.

Tell me about it, Hae texts back. Hae’s dad was her dad’s best friend, and this was the first time she’d seen Hae in two weeks after Uncle Yoongi had grounded her friend for sneaking out at night.

Jin-ae opens up the front-facing camera, nervously smoothing down her hair and patting her makeup.

“You look beautiful, Jin-ae,” your voice comes from in front, and she sees you eyeing her through the rearview mirror.

“Thanks Mom,” Jin-ae smiles sheepishly, instantly feeling guilty for badmouthing her parents to Hae. They’d been nothing but kind and supportive for most of her life, even if they were a little dorky and overprotective. They’d come to every ballet recital and every soccer practice, they rewarded every good grade with a trip out for ice cream.

Her appa had been the one who stayed home with her most days when her mom worked, making sure she always had a homemade snack after school and coaching her through her math homework. When you came home, you would always promise to read Jin-ae a chapter of the book the two of you were reading together, talking about the plot and the characters until her eyes felt heavy and she began to slip away into her little world of dreams.

Jin-ae had the best parents in the world. Nothing would ever make her believe otherwise.

The real reason she was on edge wasn’t because of them. It was because her crush, Mingyu, would be at this wedding too. She’d grown up occasionally seeing him around because their parents were friends, but recently she’d begun to notice how cute he actually was, always making people laugh. Not to mention he was the captain of the basketball team. 

The car screeches to a halt as Seokjin pulls into the parking space, and Jin-ae throws open the door immediately, launching to her feet. Mingyu was waiting inside!

“Bye Appa! Bye Mom! Hae is waiting for me, I’ll see you!”

“Jin-ae!” you shout after her. “Make sure your phone ringer is turned on!”

Jin-ae doesn’t even bother to check, too excited at the prospect of finally dancing with Mingyu. She turns on her heels and hikes up her skirt, watching you and Seokjin smile at her.

“Love you both! Byeee!”

“They’re so excited to see each other,” Yoongi snickers at Jin-ae and Hae tucked away in the corner, giggling at everybody on the dance floor. “Hae’s been driving us crazy over the past couple of weeks, and then Do-woon on top of it.”

“Aren’t you glad we only had one, ___?” Seokjin chuckles, and you give him a half-hearted smile back. Suddenly his hand is reaching for yours, giving it a comforting squeeze.

It wasn’t like you didn’t try. You tried. And tried, and tried, and tried. But something got in the way every time, whether it was not being able to shift out of your tiny apartment into a house, or not being able to move into a bigger house because Jin-ae didn’t want to change schools. Until the doctor told you that no matter how hard you tried, some things just weren’t meant to be.

You supposed it was why you treaded so carefully with Jin-ae. She was all you had, what made you turn from two broken, battered souls into a family. Which is why it scared you and Seokjin that she was growing up so fast. It was only yesterday that the two of you had been holding her hand, bandaging her cuts on the playground.

And now she was older, bright-eyed and curious, and beautiful, and as much as it made you proud, you were also afraid. Afraid the world would hurt her, afraid that it’d dim her light. Both you and Seokjin never wanted your daughter to experience the darkness you both went through, which still lingered in the background of some of your sleepless nights that were few and far between.

“You guys should take a vacation,” Yoongi suggests. “We went to Jeju last year for a week and it was the best week of our lives. Jin-ae could come stay over.”

Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you pinch him playfully. In the many years you’d been married, it had never occurred to either of you to take a vacation. Jin-ae had hurtled into your lives not long after the wedding, leaving you with low hopes for a honeymoon.

“Maybe we can take her,” Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “I’m sure she’d like to get out and explore too.”

You smile at that. A family vacation. It would be nice, just the three of you, away from school, from work, from here. 

When you look up again, Jin-ae is no longer by Hae’s side. She’s wandered off to the side, teetering on her heels behind a boy, the two of them walking out of the room.

You let out a heavy sigh, trying to resist the urge to go after her, reminding yourself she’s still just a kid, and you tap Seokjin on the shoulder.

“Dance with me?”

“I’d love to.”

Jin-ae’s heart pounds in her ears, anxiety sending prickles over her skin at the thought of finally being alone with Mingyu. Hae had urged her on when Mingyu came up saying he wanted to talk to her about something. 

This was it, the moment she’d been waiting for all night. Love was in the air everywhere it seemed, and now Mingyu was finally going to confess his feelings to her.

“What did you want to talk about, Mingyu?” she asks him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear shyly.

Jin-ae blushes when she realizes how little space is in her and Mingyu, and how close his face is. All he has to do is lean in…

“You tease!” Min-gyu says, and Jin-ae jumps back in surprise, not expecting his response. “When were you gonna tell me about your parents, huh?”

Jin-ae purses her lips in confusion. Her parents? What did they have to do with anything? She was pretty sure her mom didn’t even know Mingyu’s name, and her appa would be happier knowing he didn’t exist. 

“W-what are you talking about, ‘Gyu?” she stammers. “Did they say something to you?”

Mingyu’s face falls. “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?” Jin-ae tries to stop her voice from cracking, and the tears from falling, but they do anyway.

“Jin-ae, your parents, they uh, well uh, your mom was engaged to this other guy, and she cheated on him… with your dad. That’s how they got together. Wendy told Karina last week and now everyone’s talking about it.”

The tears become heavier, clouding Jin-ae’s vision, and she tries to back away, only to be met with the wall. There was nowhere to go.

“N-no, you’re wrong,” Jin-ae croaks out. “Everybody is wrong. My parents love each other, t-they met in the park, they would never do something like that. NEVER!”

The last word is a plea, Jin-ae looking Mingyu in the eyes and hoping that he backtracked, that he admitted it was all some kind of sick joke. However, she’s met with only guilt.

 Turning on her heels, she runs.

Seokjin is worried. He hasn’t seen Jin-ae ever since you told him she disappeared with some boy, and now he can’t stop fidgeting with his fingers, wondering if everything is okay with his little girl. What if he hurt her? What if he took advantage of her?

It’s this worry that presses him to nudge you, turning your attention away from dinner. You give him a nod of acknowledgment, and he knows you’ve been wondering the same thing. The two of you excuse yourself from the table, hand in hand as you slip out into the hallway.

Moments later, Seokjin’s worst suspicions are confirmed when he hears the telltale sound of familiar set of sobs. Only this time, they sound worse than the time Jin-ae was riding her scooter down the street and crashed into the curb. Or the time when Minji invited all the girls in the class to her sleepover except Jin-ae. 

The two of you come to a stop outside the bathrooms, and you raise your hand, ready to knock, when the frantic figure of Hae stops in front of you, waving you away.

“Mr. and Mrs Kim, you shouldn’t be here right now,” she says, a waver to her voice.

“What happened Hae?” Seokjin can’t stop his voice from rising. “What did he do to her?”

“You guys should really go, I’ve got this, I promise,” she gulps.

You swoop past her, opening the door handle.

“Jin-ae? Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

You look up into the tearful eyes of your daughter, her makeup smudged and her hair jumbled, like she’s been pulling at it, strewn on the floor of the bathroom.

When Jin-ae notices you and Seokjin standing in the doorway, she sobs harder, curling up into a tiny ball, and you feel your heart break.

Seokjin moves first, crouching down to wrap his arms around her, but Jin-ae swats him away.

“GO AWAY!” she screams. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Olchaeng-i, is this about that boy Mingyu?” Seokjin says softly, stroking her hair and trying to set it back into place. “It’s okay, Appa’s here, we’re not leaving you.”

“But I want you to,” Jin-ae warbles, and you and Seokjin look at each other with concerned faces. “I want you to leave.”

“Jin-ae, please talk to us, tell us what’s wrong,” you give her space, but don’t leave.

“What’s wrong is that you both lied to me! What’s wrong is that you guys shouldn’t even be together because you cheated… you cheated on someone you were engaged to, Mom! And appa just let you instead of saying no! What’s wrong is that my whole life feels like a lie… we shouldn’t even be a real family!”

Seokjin feels his blood run cold, and he looks over to see you in the exact same position, frozen and unable to move. This was never how you wanted Jin-ae to find out. The two of you had spent your whole lives trying to atone for the truth, and now it had come back to haunt you, in the worst way possible.

“Olchaeng-i, we can talk about this, your mom and I can tell you, it’s not what it seems like,” Seokjin stutters over his words, hands fidgeting at his sides. He wants to hug Jin-ae so badly, but it feels like his arms have been encased in cement blocks.

“What is it then?” Jin-ae is relentless. “I have to listen to you explain why you’re not a fucking adulterer, and mom’s not some slut who opened her legs for you the first chance she got? You’re going to explain how you didn’t ruin everybody else’s life because you both were so goddamn selfish? Was I just some stupid way of trying to make up for it, huh? Did you get married and have me because you felt like it was the right thing to do after doing everything else wrong?”

Jin-ae rises to her feet, ignoring Seokjin’s arm reaching for her, and he looks over to still see you frozen on the floor, tears rolling down your face silently. You can’t even look anywhere but straight ahead.

“I don’t want to hear it, appa. I don’t even want to be around you anymore. You make me sick,” she spits out before leaving.  

Seokjin is at your side before you can even say anything, crushing you against him as you both erupt into sobs, holding each other and wondering how everything had gone so wrong.

From then on, everything is silent. You and Seokjin barely utter more than ten words to each other as Seokjin pulls Yoongi aside and explains what happened. You see Yoongi nod in acknowledgment, telling his best friend that he’ll find Jin-ae, and make sure she stays out of trouble, while a tearful Hae looks on. It’s silent when both of you pile into the car, the air heavy without Jin-ae’s bubbly chatter to break through it. Seokjin keeps his eyes on the road, and you keep them outside, watching the lights drift by, fighting off the urge to make him stop and vomit on the side of the road. Instead the pit in your stomach only grows deeper when he pulls into the driveway, and everything is dark, with no Jin-ae on the steps waiting for you both.

The two of you step inside, and while normally you’d be relieved to be home, the tiny, two-bedroom house the two of you built your whole life inside now feels like little more than a shabby cardboard box. All the pictures on the wall, the furniture you’d picked out together, Jin-ae’s shoes by the door, feels hollow with the weight of her accusations in the back of your mind.

The scary thing was, part of what she said was right. You and Seokjin had cheated, and you lied, upheaving not only your lives but Jungkook’s in the process. And while every day you thanked the universe that he’d been able to move on and find love, to find forgiveness in his heart, forgiving yourselves had been less of an easy task.

You thought the love would have been enough to fight the feeling of guilt. And it was. Until now. 

You plop on the couch, bending over to take off your heels, when suddenly, the words come back, and you crumple, unable to stop shaking. Seokjin is there in seconds, arms around your side, stroking your hair, and the two of you cry it out together, finally growing tired of the silence. 

“Shhh, jagiya, it’ll be okay,” he whispers into your hair.

“What if she’s right, Seokjin?” the hopelessness creeps into your voice. “What if this wasn’t meant to last? What if we can’t keep running anymore?”

“___, this is real,” Seokjin takes your hand in his, running his thumb over the thin gold band you wear every day to symbolize your love. “I told you a long time ago that you were it for me and I meant it. I know we’ve made mistakes, jagi, but this, our family, has never been one of them. Jin-ae is just angry, and she’s hurt. She’ll come back to us.”

“I hate that we have to keep doing this,” you lean onto his shoulder. “I hate that we have to remind each other all the time. When will it stop?”

“Maybe never,” Seokjin admits. “But I’ll still be here every day.”

“I love you, Seokjin,” you whisper. “I’m so lucky I get to have you.”

He watches your eyes flutter shut, before whispering:

“I’m the lucky one.”

It’s midnight when Jin-ae sneaks back into the house, finding the spare key her parents kept in the plant pot outside. The house is dark, and it’s quiet. 

Guilt causes the knot in her stomach to become tighter. Uncle Yoongi and Hae had taken her to their house, where she’d had a warm meal and time to cool off. She was so confused. So hurt that the perfect parents she’d known growing up were revealed to be far from it. She didn’t know how to process the news, or how to feel anymore.

So she’d sat on the Mins’ front porch in the cold, thoughts running every which way in her mind, until she’d heard the door click and footsteps behind her, coming face to face with Yoongi by her side.

“Still upset?” he asks her, and the gentle look in his eyes reminded her so much of her appa, and how he’d come by with cut-up fruit every time she was upset.

“Shouldn’t you also be, Uncle Yoongi? He’s your best friend.”

“I did my time, little tadpole,” Yoongi chuckles, using Seokjin’s nickname for her. “I told Seokjin it was a bad idea, I told him everything would fall apart. I was angry with him too.”

“How did you make it go away?” she asked him, swinging her legs side to side. “The anger.”

“Jin-ae, he’s made a lot of mistakes, but he’s not a bad man,” Yoongi says quietly. “Neither is your eomma. They love each other more than anyone I know. They were so happy when you came, I thought they’d never stop smiling. You’re their entire world.”

Jin-ae smiles softly at his words, a memory washing over her.

. . . 

“Me and mom will be back to get you after school, little olchaeng-i, okay? Be good for us.”

Seokjin gives Jin-ae a kiss, eyes wet with tears. You’re no better off beside, eyes red-rimmed at the new dress she’d picked out, and the pretty bow sticking out of her neat hairstyle. It was the first day of school, and you and Seokjin were going absolutely insane at the thought of leaving your little baby, even if it was only for a few hours.

“Appa, let me go peez,” Jin-ae lisps, watching the other children run around the playground with their colorful backpacks. When she sees Seokjin’s teary eyes, her chubby hand reaches out for his, pressing a tiny butterfly kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t cry Appa, olchaeng-i wuvs you. And mommy too.” 

The two of you try to stop from erupting into more sobs, holding her tightly. Before you know it, she’s waving goodbye, her tiny body disappearing inside the classroom.

The rest of the day passes by in an eerie trance. You fret over Jin-ae at work, wondering if she’s making friends, and whether or not she’s okay to use the bathroom on her own. Seokjin stares emptily in the fridge, looking at the heaps of fruit that Jin-ae loved to eat, and decides drown his sorrows by eating the whole carton of strawberries. 

You come home early, and the two of you head back to the school, waiting with anticipation as the children spill out of the hallways, eyes looking out for your little girl.

When you see her, she screams, running excitedly into your arms. She doesn’t waste a second before launching into a whole explanation of how her day went, excitedly showing you the colorful “art” she’d scribbled.

“Sounds like you had a fun day, baby,” you crouch to her height, swooping her bangs out of her eyes.

“Was ok,” Jin-ae says, becoming quiet.

“What happened baby? Is there anything wrong? School was fun, right?” Seokjin asks her.

“Was ok, but I like home with you and mommy more. Can we go now?”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Jin-ae was growing up, faster than you thought she would, but at the end of the day, she was still happiest by your side. And that meant everything.

. . .

Jin-ae tears up at the memory, regret instantly settling into her heart. 

“I’m such an idiot, Uncle Yoongi,” she looks at him. “I said such awful things, I, I can’t even take it back. They’ll never forgive me.”

“They’re your parents Jin-ae. Of course they will.”

The memory of school, and the talk with Yoongi linger in the back of her mind as she slips out of her shoes, tip-toeing silently and making a promise to apologize in the morning. When she stumbles past the living room, however, she stops.

Seokjin is there, his head shifting from side to side, trying to keep from dozing off, while you snooze on his shoulder. He’s humming softly in your ear, and his eyes are so full of love that it makes Jin-ae’s heart hurt. 

A choked sob escapes her at the emotional scene, and Seokjin turns at the sound, eyes widening at the sight of his daughter in the hallway, but Jin-ae runs up the stairs before he can say anything.

The door to her room is open, and Seokjin knows by the light that her lamp is still on, and she’s awake. He knocks quietly before letting himself in. Jin-ae lies on the bed, her back to him, not even looking up when she feels the bed sink next to her.

Seokjin doesn’t know how to begin. He’s never been the talker between the two of you, preferring to let his actions speak instead. He feels as though he’s made his way to a wide chasm, able to see his daughter on the other end, but unable to reach out and take her hand.

Which is why it surprises him when she speaks first.

“Aren’t you tired, Appa? Of the guilt? Doesn’t it hurt?” the words are less an accusation, and more of a genuine vocalization of concern.

Jin-ae sits up, and looks at him, really looks at him, and her eyes widen in realization, like she’s seeing him for the first time. He’d tried so hard for her, to be the perfect appa, to be the perfect husband, but deep down, he was the same Seokjin from many years ago.

“I don’t want you to be hurt anymore, appa. I don’t want you or mom to feel like this because of me.”

Jin-ae throws her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder, and he rubs gentle circles on her back.

“I’m only human, olchaeng-i. I try my best, and so does your mom. We try every day to forget the mistakes we’ve made. Do you know what helps us the most though?”

Jin-ae shakes her head, biting at her lips to keep more tears from spilling out.

“It’s you. It’s our family. This love that we have, it’s our second chance. Our shot at happiness. And neither me, or your mom take it for granted ever. We can tell you whatever you want to know, just please, don’t be afraid to talk to us. We need you.”

Jin-ae nods, resting her head on Seokjin’s shoulder.

“Can you tell me about her? Mom? Did you love her the very first time you saw her?”

Seokjin smiles at that, marveling at how it’s been twenty years, and he still launches into the story with the same enthusiasm. Jin-ae’s curious voice interrupts him to ask questions every now and then, until the questions are replaced with yawns, and she drifts off by his side. 

Tucking her in, Seokjin shuts the door quietly, surprised to see your sleepy figure at the top of the stairs. 

“You did good,” you tell him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“We did good,” he pulls you into him, and the two of you head to bed.

. . . 

It’s only been a few hours of restless sleep when you and Seokjin are disturbed by the presence of a third person in your bed, Jin-ae crawling into the sheets between you, wrapping her arms around you.

“I’m sorry mom,” she whispers. “I love you.”

“I love you too baby. I love both of you.”

“Can I sleep here with you guys tonight?” Jin-Ae asks, her voice full of uncertainty. 

“Okay,” you tell her, pulling her into you to lay across your chest, like she did when she was a baby. Seokjin puts his arms around both of you, pressing a kiss to your lips when Jin-ae has fallen asleep.

The little house is quiet again, but the good kind, a place for your family reserved within its four walls. The night is peaceful.

A/N pt. 2: I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!! I WILL KEEP LOVING THEM!! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

#bts #bangtanbathhouse #bangtanoasis #btshoneyhive #bts fics #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #seokjin #kim seokjin #jin #seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #jin x reader #jin x you #jin fluff #jin angst #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #seokjin fic #seokjin imagine

[immaeatingwood]

Ok now gonna tell you about that one IO rusreal/oddly-specific-university au version where everyone are humans

So, all of them are living in Voronezh and are state university students. There were a group of friend from different… faculties? Idk how to translate it. So, there were 5 friends, and then, on the 3rd grade, the new people just appeared in the university. As was known later, they came from another cities (two from Nalchik, two from Yelets). So, they somehow were accepted to a friend group. This is a slice of life AU, so it's mostly about them studying and their holiday adventures. But after they finished university, girls from Nalchik got back to their hometown. Anyway, they come to Voronezh every summer… And sometimes vice versa - others come to Nalchik.

So, characters:

Rada (Joy) is a happy and ambitious girl from faculity of journalism. She loves talking in idiomes/phraseologisms, and always takes her friends on an adventure. She's half Russian, half Armenian by blood, but Armenian isn't her native language (she learns it though!)

Pelageya (Sadness) is Rada's best friend since school days. They are very close despite being different. In the 1st grade they were arguing a lot, but that's in the past. Pelageya likes to read, and she's on the faculty of philology. She's Greek by blood, but never was in Greece since her grandparents moved to Russia long ago.

Bogdana (Disgust) is some sort of class fashionista. She can be a bit mean, but she is a good friend and has a huge interest in history. So yeah, she's from historical faculity. She met everyone else already in university, and it was a bit hard to befriend her, but when all of them got closer she opened her gentle and happy side. By blood she's half Ukrainian, half Polish, and knows both of these languages despite being born in Russia (her parents taught her).

Sasha (Fear) is just a funny and overall nice boy from faculity of geology. He's a bit shy and sometimes paranoid, but can be braver when he needs to protect someone. He likes to play chess, and is one of the smartest people in the group, being one of the "local nerds". He also has a pet lizard named Lily. nobody knows what's his nationality - probably mixed.

Gosha (Anger) is an intense, tempered and passionate boy from faculity of law, who loves to play sports and hang out with his friends. He's loud and sometimes mean to others (esp to Sasha), but it's not intended, and he apologizes for it… Sometimes. He is mixed by blood, but has some Greek and maybe Tajik roots.

Tanya (Anxiety) is a girl who came from Yelets. She is a nervous, but ambitious person from faculity of physics. Sometimes she can be wrong in something, but always wants the best for everyone. She's actually a cute one, even though she makes some mistakes. She's Tatar by blood, but was born in Yelets.

Haniffa (Ennui) is some kind of "sad teenage girl" from faculity of computer science, but she's pretty nice in her heart. She's from Nalchik, and lives with her friend Zara. She often introduces herself as Sonia, because most people can't pronounce her name correctly. Haniffa isn't interested in most things, but she likes cooking, her favourite thing to do is Ossetian pies. She actually is Ossetian by blood, even though she was born in Kabardino-Balkaria.

Zara (Envy) is small in body, but she has a big heart and studies on the faculity of international relations. She's actually two years older than Haniffa (they live together and call each other sisters, even though they aren't blood connected), and she sometimes makes jokes about it. Zara can be a bit mean from time to time, but she is a lovely girl actually! She likes to bake things with her "sister", scrapbooking and going on walks (sometimes with her cat named Fatima). She's Kabardinian by blood.

Stas (Embarrassment) is literally the nicest boy in the whole group, coming from the faculity of farmacy. He came from Yelets with Tanya, and was very shy about it, but everyone liked him, because he always was acting friendly and helped everyone. He is strong and tall, but was bullied in school for his appearance and the fact that he loves pink and cute things (everyone thought he's "too gily"). Tanya was trying to protect him, but she's a weak one too. But now he has a lot of friends, so… He will be alright. He's half Chechen, half Balcar btw!

#inside out #inside out fandom #inside out 2 #inside out au #rusreal #rusreal au #inside out joy #inside out sadness #inside out disgust #inside out fear #inside out anger #inside out anxiety #inside out ennui #inside out envy #inside out embarrassment #long post

[ejzah]

A/N: I blame @mashmaiden for this, who jokingly suggested the prompt below and then brainstormed possibilities.

Prompt

***

So Very Thankful

“Shhh, not so loud,” Deeks hushed Kensi, creeping around the side of the garage. The smell of turkey surrounded them, drifting over from the patio. Sam had insisted on frying a turkey, even though Roberta and Julia were baking a turkey and ham between them. Along with every side imaginable.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asked. “Maybe we should go back to our room.”

“You wanna have sex in our room while there’s a dozen people hanging around?”

They’d decided to take advantage of the multitude of family and friends visiting for Thanksgiving to sneak out for a clandestine rendezvous under the guise of going out for more whip cream. When they’d left, Caleb and Sophia had been surrounded by no less than their moms, Rosa, Callen, and Fatima, so Deeks didn’t feel all that bad.

“We could go in the closet,” Kensi suggested.

“Like that would stop my mom,” Deeks drawled. “You know she’s shamelessly nosy.” They slipped in through the side door like they were breaking into a suspects house and not finding a quiet place to make out.

As soon as they were inside, Kensi tugged Deeks’ mouth down to hers while he guided them back into the corner farthest from the window. He groaned, cupping Kensi’s jaw with one hand to hold her even closer, his other hand dropping to pan down the length of her back. Kensi made an encouraging noise, gently rolling her hips into his as she attacked the row of buttons on his shirt. She had them undone in an impressively short time.

“I knew this shirt would drive you crazy,” Deeks teased breathlessly when they broke away for a few seconds.

“Well, it’s not exactly like I can take off my clothes,” she replied with a smirk, referring to the long-sleeve dress she wore. If Kensi came back wrinkled and curls awry, everyone would definitely know what they’d been up to. “And yes, it’s been driving me crazy. You know I love you in blue.”

She ran her hands across his bare chest, sending pleasant shivers through him. Not to be outdone, Deeks dragged his fingers up her leg, beneath the soft fabric of her skirt, and didn’t stop until he reached her hip. He toyed with the edge of her underwear, chuckling when Kensi ground against his hand.

“Somebody’s in a hurry.”

“I’m not taking any chances that we get interrupted,” Kensi said seriously, right before she dipped her head, and sucked the spot directly over Deeks’ collar bone while simultaneously unzipping his pants. She cupped his bulge, making a desperate sound as Deeks laughed breathlessly into her hair.

She stroked him several times, their gasps mixing between them to create a heady sound. Deeks lifted her at the same time she grasped his shoulders for leverage, wrapping her legs tight around his hips.

“I’m so thankful today,” Deeks groaned as Kensi moved against him.

***

A/N: Credit to @mashmaiden for not only the original idea, but the garage and turkey details.

#ncis la fanfiction #densi #marty deeks #kensi blye #thanksgiving 2023 #Thanksgiving smut #kensi and Deeks are very thankful #take the next train to smutsville #ejzah fanfiction

[romanarose]

Happy Valentine’s Day! 💖

How are the couples in the Leather and Lace universe celebrating? (or are they celebrating at all???)

Sorry this is so late! I hope you had a great day! Forgive my typing my laptop took a shit on me on v day so Im typing on an unfamiliar one lol

Warms my heart people still care about this universe!!!!

I have Leather and Lace Valentine’s Day special from last year!

As for the whole gang, let’s see….

This will be a brief sneak peek into the future, as canonically the universe is at abouuuttt June/julyish? There’s some creative liberty there😂

Previous day there was no Lore, and I think everyone wants lore ♥️ and by the time next v day comes, there will be no Alice and Ben will be happy with Cam so, welcome to the LaL universe Cameron!!

Mentions of addiction bulimia abuse smut

Santi and Laci

All the cutesy. Santi knows Lacina is a lover of cheesy romance so last year it was dinner. However now they have a baby. Doesn’t mean romance is dead however! After their strain over the summer Santi refuses to let Laci feel less than, esp after giving birth to Leto.

Leto is a few months old, I think approaching 6 months, and Laci has just started back at work. When she comes home, Santi has the whole dinner set up with candles and lights. Laci feels bad when she has to pause dinner to feed Leto but Santi thinks there’s nothing more beautiful than his wife breastfeeding his son. His heart is so full and happy, he couldn’t imagine a better day, even as he burps the tiny baby.

Of course, Laci isn't going to forget him either. Laci buys him the first bouquet of flowers he's gotten outside of his mom and Fatima's deaths. And, ofc, bc it's them, they make love that night. Laci is tired but they do their fav none intercourse activity and do hand stuff while making out. It always feels intimate and close.

Frankie and Jana

Just because they've been together more or less 15 years, doesn't mean Jana isn't slacking on making sure Frankie, and year and a half clear despite the stress of two children, feels loved. He's so good to her, going above and beyond during her pregnancy, finishing her doctorate, and handling both a newborn and a 3 year old. Jana was not the type of woman to congratulate a man on doing basic parenting, but christ he was amazing. Both were still on maternity leave, little Max being maybe 2 months old? Ish? Frankie would be going back to work part time soon just to keep a schedule, but would largely be a stay at home dad. She knew it wasn't easy and wanted to make sure he was so, so loved. So, under the guise of feeding Max, Jana sneaks out of the room and gets working on breakfast.

"Hi mommy, are you making me pancakes?" A sleepy Rosie toddled out in her doc McStuffins PJ's"

"Lo siento mija, did I wake you?"

"No." Rosie shook her head. Quería saludar a Max pero estaba durmiendo."

"Ah, I see. Would you like to help me cook for daddy?"

Rosie excitedly said yes, and after little bit they brought Frankie breakfast in bed. His eyes woke with a start, still protective of Jana even though she was past the 6 weeks of a c-section recovery.

"Baby, what are you-" he started to stand but as instructed Rosie ran up and pinned him down. Rosie explained the food they made while Jana got a crying Max. When all four were settled into bed, they eat together, Frankie feeding Jana as she breastfed Max. And don't you worry, once Max and Rose were down for a nap, Frankie gave Jana her Valentines Day gift. about 6 or 7 of them.

Will and Lorelei

Lore and Will had no issues giving Chloe away for a few hours.

Make no mistake, they adored their daughter, Lore loving to watch Chloe learn knew things about the world around her and Will was so wonderful when he played with her. Chloe would never have to wonder her worth the way Lorelei and Will did, they'd protect her the best they could from what they and their friends had endured.

No they loved Chloe Sen. However, they were comfortable taking time off. Lorelei had given birth in late July, and had a speedy recovery, making a mile run two weeks postpartum. This was not because of her eating issues (okay maybe baby weight was a small factor but she was working on it, okay?) more importantly, she needed to be ready to help run the farm for harvest season. Mrs. Miller would be watching Chloe Sen tonight for a few hours while Will took Lore out to dinner just as she had over harvest.

Lorelei had never been somewhere so fancy. She was dressed up in a dress Will said was "fit to attend the Oscar's with James Dean" never mind Dean's Oscar win was posthumous, but the compliment felt nice. Lorelei loved the traditional schtick, even if she told him she didn't need anything, that having a family was enough. Will, of course, would never let that slide. He also bought her jewelry, and he was the first man who didn't fumble that bag, getting her a classy tennis bracelet that matched her silvery dress. Lorelei's red dress was not fitting right with her breastfeeding boobs, and once thing about Lorelei Yen Giang, she did not where pink.

Lorelei's gift surprised Will. Not that Lorelei couldn't be sweet or tender; Lorelei always showed Will her love in her own love language, but gift giving was not one. She gives him a framed picture, something Laci had snapped at the beach day last summer. Lorelei wasn't showing in her swimsuit yet, Will had his shirt on. Despite the tension of those early months, Lorelei had forgotten how much she and Will still had fun. They were sitting on beach towels, Lorelei's head thrown back laughing, black hair cascading down. Will was grinning ear to ear.

"I love it, Lore..." Will says, smiling brightly.

If Lorelei didn't have make up on, she'd be blushing.

"I love you, William. I know there were so many reservations from my side early on but all these months later, you prove me wrong every single day. You are exactly the kind of man I saw you as, no tricks, no games."

Will kissed her tenderly. "And you, princess, blow me away every single day."

There was no sex that night, Chloe not having fallen asleep for her grandma nor a few hours after, keeping them both up. But Lorelei feel asleep with her loving boyfriends arms around her, and that was enough.

Benny and Cameron.

It was all so new. Being the off season, Ben and Cam were somewhere in Arizona, fucking the entire day away in Cam's van. Ben was still worried about the other ball dropping, for something in Cam to switch. For him to leave again or for him to hurt him like Alice. Things weren't easy peasy; Ben was still relapsing on bulimia and drinking, but the recovery periods were getting longer and Cam was always quick to assure him relapse is a normal part of recovery. Frankie quit coke cold turkey, but that's because he had a scare. it'd take Ben some time, but Cam would be there every step.

As soon as Cam woke after a long nap to Ben in the kitchenette, listening to him clanging around trying to cook he knew Ben was having a bad day. When he opened the curtain to find the living space/kitchen a massive mess, with food everywhere in Ben's attempt at cooking and a table set up of half-made crafts, he knew it was Ben's ADHD. He was trying to get Ben to warm up to the idea of trying meds again, but once step at a time.

"Baby?" Cam called, and Ben wiped around, eyes wide as he began sputtering.

"I'm sorry! Im sorry I was trying to make breakfast and also this craft I saw on printers and also this other one then the bacon was burning and-"

"Baby, can I hold you?"

Ben blinked at him, looking nervous. He wasn't used to people asking if they could touch him. "Oh. Um... no I don't think so."

Cam smiled, happy Ben felt comfortable enough, trusted him enough to communicate. "Thank you for telling me. Benny, does this have something to do with Valentine's Day?"

He hesitated but admitted yes. "I love you so goddamn much Cam and we've been on the road so I haven't hardly been aware the month let alone the year... Then all of a sudden I wake up and its the 14th and you've been just... just the fucking best. I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate you..."

Cameron listened until he was sure Ben was done. "Would it help if we just... pretended today was another day? I swear, just you being here..."

"No! Cam let me do something nice for you."

"Something nice for me," He started slowly. "Is you being nice to yourself. Listen, my birthday is coming up, if you really want to, not saying you have to, but if you really want to you can go all out that day. But what I really, really want..." He reached out his hands, which Ben took. "Is to eat this burnt bacon, tape this half-made craft to my wall, and then get back into bed with the love of me life that I thought I'd never get to hold again. What do you think."

Ben paused, allowing himself to absorb Cam's words. Cam din't want anything from him outside of his love, fidelity, and company. He didn't want ben's money, didn't want him to change or hide self, and although they certainly had fantastic sex, if Ben wasn't feeling it he could say no, but Cam usually picked up on it before hand.

"Okay, yeah, that sounds good..."

"Good." Cam smiled and reached behind Ben. "I like my bacon extra crispy."

*******

Happy v day!!!!

tagging a few peeps who still interact with the all universe

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missdictatorme @ivystoryweaver @pimosworld @miraclesabound @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @whatthefishh

#leather and lace #lal universe #leather and laci univere #lacuna dumas #Santiago garcia #triple frontier #Frankie morales #jana fernandez #will miller #Lorelei giang #ben miller #Cameron macdonald #triple frontier franfiction

[marshmallow---pillow]

What Am I To Live For When I Have Made My Body My Casket? / Where Am I To Go From Here?

Word count: ~200

Trigger Warnings: Violence Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Reverse Robins AU, POV Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Red Hood

His finger rests on the trigger, right at the pterion. Middle meningeal artery. Junction of frontal, parietal, temporal, sphenoid. Hemorrhage. Bruce wouldn't even notice it, he'll he dead before he hits the ground. It's the least bit of mercy he can impart on his Robin's behalf.

But

Jason weeping in his arms after a bad dream. He has a lot of those these nights. When the wind's a cut on the cheek and the skies are too grey. He's shivering, barely lucid. What's wrong Jason? What's wrong Little Bird? Bruce, Bruce Jason says, he has tears dripping down his scarred cheeks, cutting trails on Tim's heart. Bruce, I need—I need—Tim's muscles tense as they do before he makes a kill, maybe this is it. Maybe he'll kill his brother's nightmares now. What do you need? What do you need, Jason? He coaxes. I want—I want home. Little Bird breaks completely, and so does Tim's heart.

He can't press the trigger. Love has always been his fatal flaw.

He'll be back for his pound of flesh, one day.

Today he readjusts the scope and shoots five of Batman's fingers off.

<<Another Excerpt

Title from poetry by Fatima Ammer Bilal

#jason todd #arkham knight #arkhamverse #batman #tim drake is red hood #Tim Drake rescues Jason from Arkham Asylum #And he's mad mad at Bruce or letting his little bird get hurt #yeah its His little bird now #also he's insane #also obsessive also neurotic also feral and dark #And Bruce is in for an ass-whooping of a lifetime #Tim Drake #reverse robins #Reversed Robins in the Arkhamverse #Kay's scribbles

[fatimaamerbilal]

fatima aamer bilal, from weeping flesh above the ground.

[text id: your name has always been on the tip of my tongue, maybe this is why i choke every time i try to speak / or even breathe.]

#my favourite lines from the pieces i have written so far #poeticstories #poetry #book quotations #poetry excerpt #excerpts from my journal #fragments #quotes #writers and poets #prose #poem #unrequited love #words #literature #literary #lyrics #lyricism #taylor swift #writerscreed #lana del rey #bts #pheobe bridgers #fantasy #fiction #art #life crisis #dark academia #sad prose #aestheitcs #verse

[gryffindormischief]

Hey if you are still looking for requests for Hinny fluff can you please write something about Harry being hit on by muggles and him being confused because he is not “the chosen one” in the muggle world, and Ginny having to explain that he is good looking?

A/N: idk what even happened to this lol xD I hope it brings a laugh or two.

---

"That looks amazing on you.”

Harry startles and turns, putting an end to his examination of his own reflection. “I - thanks.”

Refocusing, Harry fumbles for the tag. It’s a bit too pricey, honestly. He just saw it on the mannequin in the window and Harry nearly mistook it for Sirius. It feels childish, really, to impulse buy a coat because it reminds him of his godfather.

Then again he does need - 

“Especially with your styling.”

His fan club has grown - two women linger just off to the side, watching. All Harry can think is this is one of those fancy shops where salespeople earn commissions.

“I’m not quite sure but - ”

“Well you should be,” the dark haired woman steps closer and brushes her hand over his shoulders, “It fits like a glove.”

Harry stiffens and sidesteps away, pulling the jacket off and reclaiming his own. “What’s your return policy?”

“Return - ” shoulder toucher shoots a glance toward her friend, “Oh well we actually don’t work here.”

Harry pauses his retelling and ruffles his hair.

“So then what happened?” Ginny prompts.

“They asked me to dinner!” Harry yelps, earning a couple of odd glances from patrons nearby.

Dinner arrives and Harry barely registers any of it until his napkin-bundled silverware nudges his hand. “It actually is dinner time Potter.”

Harry glances up at Ginny, who’s currently buttering a roll, apparently without a care in the world. “Why are you - ”

“Did you buy the jacket?” Ginny asks, eyes rolling back a bit when she bites into her roll. “You won’t like these - I’ll go ahead and eat them. Spare you.”

“You aren’t - ”

“Surprised? Upset?”

He grabs a roll and breaks off a piece, the scent of baked cheddar tickling his nostrils. “Well. Yeah. I was,” a pause while he chews - the roll and the thought, “it was a muggle shop!”

Ginny finally does look surprised and perhaps a bit upset, pausing halfway through her second roll to stare across the dimly lit table. “Are you - ” she blinks slowly, “You’re not fucking with me?”

“Well - ”

“Don’t say ‘not currently’ and wriggle your eyebrows.”

Harry pouts.

“Do you not know you’re fit?” Ginny finally asks after a few false starts.

“I’m alright - less scrawny than I was at Hogwarts,” Harry shrugs, sipping his cider.

“No I mean you’re fit Harry,” Ginny says with a shake of her head, “Like brooding rockstar throw you my knickers fit - you get knickers owled to you!”

“Maybe don’t shout that in a muggle pub, dear,” Harry laughs, “But really that’s my point. Those women didn’t know I’m The Boy Who Lived. I get knickers because of my reputation.”

The waiter chooses that beautifully perfect moment to check in about the status of their entrees and Harry barely manages to carry on the back and forth. It’s essentially a one man conversation as Ginny has dissolved into giggles and poor Henry is blushing head to toe.

Once he departs with promises of imminent food delivery and a refresher on their drinks and Ginny’s tears let up enough for her to dab them away, she pins him with a long look. “Harry, Boy Who Lived or no, you are an absolute treat for the eyes.”

“I’m a treat?” Harry smirks.

“Delicious,” Ginny nods with an answering grin.

“Yummy?”

“I could eat you up,” Ginny confirms with an exaggerated wink.

“Am I lickable?”

A choking sound followed by the clattering of some dinnerware comes from somewhere over Harry’s shoulder and he turns to find Henry covered in what appears to luckily be two fresh ciders as opposed to a roast chicken and accompanying sides.

When said meal does appear, a nervous busboy does the honors, and later the expected bill is brought by Fatima, who apologizes for Henry’s abrupt ‘personal emergency’ and subsequent departure before the close of their dinner.

#blarg writes things #hinny #hinny fic #harry x ginny #blarg writes hinny

[soleilnomoon]

hi i would like to order a honey lemon drop with frozen yogurt for nanami. and ftm he/him pronouns if possible

so sorry for the long, long, long wait omg 😭 so ty for being patient💛, but i finished and i really like how it turned out (i hope u do too 😊) anyway i think this is my first nanami fic, so naturally i love that you wanted angst

1.9k words, ftm reader (he/him), sfw (surprise surprise), 18+ mdni, angst city all dayyy, no real warnings except that reader is a little bit of a coward (but i, too, would be unable to confess to nanami ok i understand), feat. one bed trope, forced proximity, nanami being capt. of the delulu squad (as usual), i think that's it! maybe.

“how can i not love you violently when / all i have ever known is / violence in the name of love?” — fatima aamer bilal

on a rainy thursday night, you find yourself in a second-rate motel room with one nanami kento. the situation you’ve found yourself in is less than ideal, but it’s too late to travel back home now — the distance alone puts both of you at risk, especially since you sustained an injury on your mission.

you wince as you canvas the room — a habit you’ve yet to break since childhood — and when you find that it’s safe enough, you relax a bit. but even with a soft exhale, you find yourself holding onto your side with your hand, a strained expression etched carelessly onto your soft features. you tell yourself that it’s not a big deal, that you can take whatever pain comes your way. it works to distract you quite a bit, until you remember that you’re not occupying this space alone.

nanami kento thinks you’re an idiot — possibly a bigger one than gojo satoru, although that’s debatable depending on the time of day. his reasoning is simple. only an idiot would leave themselves wide open during a fight; only an idiot would push their superior out of harm’s way without any regard for their own life; and only an idiot would wave off an injury like that and pretend that they’re fine when they’re clearly not.

but, most importantly, only an idiot with a heart much too pure for this line of work, would consider the life of someone like him worth saving.

nanami clenches his jaw for what feels like the hundredth time that day, his nerves frayed despite the nonchalance he insists on presenting to you. the room is tinier than he expected, but he doesn’t have the option of being picky right now. he shrugs off his jacket and neatly drapes it on the back of a nearby chair before running a hand down his face.

you groan a little louder than you mean to as you try to find a comfortable position while sitting on the bed, which only furthers his frustration with you.

when nanami caught you just as you fell over, he thought he’d lost another partner — although, is partner the right word in his instance? he’s not so sure now. the thought of you losing your life when you have so much more to live for, forces a different kind of fear to settle heavily in his stomach.

humans — both sorcerers and non-sorcerers — are fragile, much more prone to crumbling under the strength of supernatural entities. nanami’s wondered for a while if this line of work is suitable for someone like you. someone who, despite him telling you to save yourself first, has a blatant disregard for their own well-being, even in the face of danger.

it's absolutely infuriating to him. he was being careless, which is wholly unlike him. maybe it’s because his focus shifted slightly, where he watched you a little more closely than he should have — to ensure your safety, of course — and by the time he realized, you’d already taken the hit for him.

foolish. very, very foolish.

you watch nanami carefully, biting down on your bottom lip, wondering if he’s going to lecture you to death over your actions. he was silent during the car ride and hasn’t said much since you arrived at the motel — so you’re nervous, and why wouldn’t you be? you’re sure he doesn’t hate you, but sometimes you wonder; you always mess up in front of him, and no matter what you do you can’t seem to keep it together.

if only you could channel some courage to tell him that it’s alright, that you didn’t mind getting hurt, that you just wanted to make sure he was okay. you know that he’s much more adept at fighting, his own physical prowess out ranks yours significantly, but he’s always given you credit for your determination and insistence on trying over and over again. you assume that his silence is his attempt at keeping his anger at bay — and you’re partially right, it is.

but not for the reasons you think.

nanami hasn’t gotten the hang of properly expressing himself, because you also make him nervous — and it annoys him greatly. he recognizes it as some sort of affection for you on his part, but since he’s so good at denying himself — of the things he really wants, of anything that might bring him a sliver of happiness — it took months for him to piece together his feelings.

maybe it’s because your own feelings for him overwhelm you constantly; they make it difficult for you to keep eye contact for longer than a few seconds, makes it damn near impossible for you to be near him without feeling like you’re out of your element. you don’t entertain those outlandish daydreams anymore — the intimate ones, where he sees you as something more than a colleague — but from time to time, the compulsion hits you.

you happen to glance down at your shirt and realize you’re bleeding through it, so you unbutton it without thinking, careful to not agitate your wound. nanami’s frown deepens; he reminds himself to never be that careless again. and although he sighs that signature sigh of his, he grabs the first aid kit and walks over to the bed.

“let me clean that,” he says quietly, placing the supplies on the bed next to you before rolling up his sleeves.

the sight of his forearms is enough to send you into cardiac arrest. thankfully, you somehow manage to survive the ordeal — although your heart feels like it’s beating faster than it should, you’re surprised nanami doesn’t hear it.

swallowing hard, you try and stop him. “n-no, that’s fine. i don’t need your help.” you continue rambling and stumbling over your words, face burning from embarrassment. he grabs a chair and sits in front of you, barely paying attention to your protests. your voice is comforting — dulcet tones, soft and unsure, but very much you; it helps to take the tension away from him, and he suddenly starts to feel himself relax a bit.

when you impulsively grab his wrist to stop him, he fixes you with a stern look, effectively snuffing out any rebelliousness on your end.

it’s not that he thinks you’re incapable of cleaning it yourself, it’s that he knows you’re still in pain, and it will be more efficient if he does it himself. his excuse is that he’s gotten quite good at patching himself up over the years, and he somehow rationalizes that it makes the most sense for him to be the one to help you with this.

you let go of his wrist and try not to move, instead finding yourself watching nanami up close. heat beat slowing, yet somehow still a thunderous sound in your ears, you try to remain calm despite his close proximity. a heat radiates off your body — one he certainly feels but ignores for the sake of his own sanity. acting on emotions, on physical impulses, on outlandish dreams — those are things nanami simply cannot do.

or, rather, that he shouldn’t do.

nanami is classically handsome, with sharp features, an elegant nose, and long, fair lashes. you think you’re being inconspicuous as you watch him, committing his face to memory, so that you can think back on this exact moment later and anguish over unsaid words and actions you were too cowardly to take. you’re not exactly as subtle as you think you are, so nanami catches you fairly quickly. not that you realize any of that, you’re still trying to piece together your courage as nanami’s fingers graze your skin softly.

he moves with precision, albeit much slower than he normally does; he’s not sure if it’s an inherent selfishness on his part, but this is the only form of intimacy he’ll allow himself to have with you — as he knows the likelihood of you both living a full, enriching life is slim. still, he cleans your wound much faster than you’d like, the tips of his lithe fingers lingering dangerously close as he runs them along the bandage.

that touch alone causes you to sit up straight, breathe in sharply through your nose and grit your teeth together; it’s an attempt at grounding yourself, despite the goosebumps that crop up along your arms. still, you feel… full, somehow — and hopeful. your heart also feels too big for your chest now, almost as if there’s some sort of possibility of this being something more than a daydream.

nanami goes to wash his hands, although he looks over his shoulder at you to tell you, in that low, gravelly voice of his, that you can take the bed while he takes the armchair.

“that’s ridiculous,” you blurt out without warning, “we can share the bed, it’s not that small.”

there are so many reasons why he should not get in that bed with you, but none of them come to mind now; he wants to protest, though, very badly — but there you are, looking so fragile and seemingly angelic, that he acquiesces right away. you try not to let nerves get the best of you, as you didn’t think nanami would really agree to the demand. and by the time you both settle on the bed, nanami does his best to keep a respectful distance from you.

on a whim, because the lights are off, the rain soothes you in a way that easily invites fatigue to claim you right away, you shift closer to him. nanami stiffens immediately, not understanding why you keep insisting on trying his patience like that but relaxes eventually. he won’t admit it, but he likes that you’re completely vulnerable with him.

your eyelids grow heavy, making it impossible to stay awake, and you start mumbling as you drift off to sleep. holding his breath and keeping still, nanami strains his ears to hear you — almost like he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll miss out on something very important.

the courage you’ve been desperately seeking comes unexpectedly, and of course it would happen while you’re delirious with exhaustion. you talk sometimes in your sleep; normally, no one is around to hear it, but tonight, nanami will be subjected to the one confession you thought you’d never be brave enough to say out loud.

you say, “i’m a little bit in love with you,” so quietly that nanami thinks he imagined it. he closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, telling his mind to settle, before looking at you again. your words will haunt him for eternity, mostly because you didn’t mean to say them to him — not now, anyway — and he understands that.

but—

what is he supposed to do now that he knows? it complicates things even more for him, and as someone who hates unnecessary complications, he now has to reconsider his approach with you. still, he doesn’t get off the bed, doesn’t move away from you; instead, nanami traces the shape of your lips with his finger — slowly and with purpose. he doesn’t know what compels him to do that, except that he just wanted to. when your lips part, he pulls his hand back, nerves barely keeping together. he closes his eyes again and prays that sleep finds him soon; at this rate, he’ll end up telling you how he feels too, and he can’t possibly have that happen. not now, not ever.

#phewww finally i am done #i actually died 384 times while writing i want u to know but i survived!!! #🍭✨🍨sticky & sweet event 🧁✨🍭 #fic request #500+ followers event #milestone event #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk angst #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento angst #nanami x reader #nanami x y/n #nanami angst #makin my way thru requests slowly but surely

[sunflorall]

A lonely love

how do i love someone else when i know you exist in this world? even the thought of moving on and living with someone else who is not you takes my breath away.

what is the point of this love when i’m so consumed in your existence and you aren’t even aware of mine? my heart feels so lonely even in the crowded places when you aren’t around.

some love stories are just not destined to have happy endings and ours maybe one of them.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#love #sanawar #sanawar fatima #sanawar fatima saeed #dark academia #poetry #poets #poets society #quote #poetry academia #quotes #poem #love poem #love poems #love academia #lover #writer #writers #poet #poetess #poetic #short poem #prose poem #poets corner #prose poetry #original poem #writers and poets #new poets society #poetic stories #poeticstories

[ave-immaculata]

I’m sorry, maybe I need some help understanding but I don’t think I cannot help a pedophile that I know has harmed and or killed children in any situation plus, didn’t Jesus say that anyone who harms children might as well tie a limestone to their necks and throw themselves into the ocean? Mathew 18:6

He says something similar, that: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." I know that this verse is commonly cited about this issue, but personally I don't find it applicable because I don't think that children are sinning when they're the victims of pedophilia; I think this Scripture is a warning to those who would lead children away from the faith, neglect to foster the faith in their children, or lead children into sin by teaching them to steal, encouraging violence, etc.

I also understand your hesitation. I experienced sexual abuse as a child and I really do appreciate the intuitive and instinctive response about how we should treat these people. They should be prosecuted where possible. They should be held accountable. They should be punished. And God will satisfy every longing for justice such that no soul in Heaven or Hell will be able to say that God was unjust. As Catholics, we believe in the temporal punishment for sins can continue even after death before one experiences eternal rest.

Jesus also doesn't make any exceptions for which people we ought to show charity to, love, and pray for. Scripture says it is the Father's will that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance and receive eternal salvation. When He asks us to visit the imprisoned, He doesn't say it is only for those whose crimes we think are forgiveable or reasonable or mundane, and He doesn't say it is only for the prisoners who are contrite or apologetic. If Christ had waited to come and find me until I was repentant of my sins, I'd still be wandering through the depths of depravity, lost for all of eternity.

So, while that instinct comes from a place of goodness (compassion and justice and the desire to protect the innocent), it is not the call of a Christian. You should not help them to commit great evils, but you can't interview a homeless person to check that they have never molested anyone before giving them your change and some water. You ought to report any real or suspected abuse and help children who have been victimized, and yet you have to pray for the grace to forgive the abusers, and that God take pity on them.

These all need to co-exist, lest we be found hypocrites on the day of judgement. My own experiences left scars that still haven't healed, and despite being in therapy for 6+ years I couldn't even talk about it. I know that God is exceedingly patient with me and doesn't demand me to be farther along the path than I am, but I do need to forgive those people, and I need to forgive myself. I cannot think of myself as better than them, because I am not. I cannot wish them to be damned. I cannot wish that they be tormented for my own personal vengeance. That is not the Gospel.

In fact, when we say the Fatima prayer during the Rosary, consider who "those most in need of Thy mercy would be," because I don't think it's the robbers or the slanderers. I think it's the people who have hurt the most vulnerable and gotten away with it.

Edit: Regarding ministry specifically, everyone will experience different calls and possess different charisms. I don't think everyone who has been violated will necessarily be called to something like prison ministry, just like not everyone is called to be a Franciscan living in poverty in the Bronx; this is as a general interpretation of how we are to view our neighbour's sins and respond to them.

#saying well at least I didn't do x or at least I'm not an x has paved the way to hell for souls