y'all are gonna hate me for this one but i think it's worth nothing that eleven levels up and develops more as a person whenever she breaks up with mike, and how the vines were tightening around her as he was giving his speech and roping them back into a romantic relationship/context (not his fault btw no mike slander here + it's complicated), but when she's reviving max the source that she pulls her power, focus, and resolve from are memories where max is reminding her to be her OWN person, that she doesn't need anyone else, and she is more than enough as she is with "not hopper. not mike. you." and "there's more to life than stupid boys."
she performs a miracle by believing in herself and the one and first ever person that ever taught her to do so. the girl who viewed her not as a superhero that happens to be a girl, but a girl that happens to be a superhero, too. the girl who encouraged her to grow and change and put herself first. that's who and what give her the courage to fight on.
like literally how much more clear do they need to make it that her romantic relationship with him is holding her back? just look at seasons three and four as well as how the flashback they used for mike's speech was of her in the woods which is undoubtedly a nod to the fact that he doesn't see her as she is now and is stuck in the past while she desperately wants to move forward.
i just. !!!!! i'm sorry but Be Serious Please we can admit this and be real about it. it's okay. it does not make either of them a terrible awful character okay We Can Say It! It's Okay! and i focused on el's perspective here, but the show makes it exceedingly clear that they are not compatible in this way at all and that this relationship is something that makes them both feel worse about themselves in serious ways. they don't have a strong foundation between them to fall back on and they won't be able to move forward and fix things between them until they forge one. everything is shit because at the end of the day they don't feel secure or comfortable with each other in a way that actually matters.
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The amount of platonic love and tenderness in Michael's farewell letter to Louisa is off the charts. And one of the signs of that love is the kind of focus Michael places on small mundane things about Louisa. Like the detail with which he describes the ways she laughs: "your short little laugh. Not quite a bark, but a shift so sudden that it has to be genuine. [...] So real, never forced. No melody to it, really, but still musical. Sometimes short and guttural. Sometimes a cackle, like notes going up a scale". Michael describes Louisa's laughter in such a specific way that shows the attention he pays to her and the way he holds her ordinary mannerisms in his mind. He doesn't describe her laugh with the kind of typical compliments that could be seen as generic - it's so clear that these descriptions are specific to Louisa and his memories of her, and there's so much love in that specificity.
Then there's the story of Michael bringing whiskey back from the kitchen without even realising, and the way he remembers Louisa's expression when she noticed: "everything, everything I needed to know was there, every freckle and contour. There was no judgment. Your face was open, your eyes soft and understanding, your mouth bent into the smallest knowing grin, your expression just barely pinched, just a touch of pain". There's something so profound to me about the level of attention he pays to the details of her expression, and how those small signals communicated something important between them without words.
These are two characters whose relationship has been repeatedly confirmed to be purely platonic (and remaining platonic) both within the podcast and by the show creators. It means so much to me that as part of that platonic dynamic, Michael pays such close loving attention to Louisa, and he remembers these ordinary details even when he's dying and hasn't seen her in months, and he says things like "your face, I could fall into it, like it was a calm lake or a pool. I could fall into it and float."
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shout out to this song (make love make music - castlecomer) for not only being a bop but also giving me the idea for this drawing.
(see also: this song (fire alarm - castlecomer) as well)
(lineart under the cut :)))) )
:)
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spiral domain that doubles as a fun little piece of writing:
you are taking a long walk in the woods. the woods are getting... different.
at some point your math teacher or your geeky dad or some girl on youtube--someone told you that fractals are everywhere in nature. hidden in every plant, woven into the bones of the universe. here, those bones are... nearer the surface, mathematically angled joints pushing through the skin of these woods. it shows in the branching patterns of the trees and plants. the angles are too precise to be real. you touch a tree and it is not plastic. it is not wood either. it gives under your touch and the tree's whole spindly fractalizing body ripples. the colors around you are too sweet and the sound you hear is definitely not the wind in the branches... it is like singing, but not at all like that which comes from throats. it is getting louder, the trees' limbs cracking like knuckles as they grow more and more angular, the colors getting brighter and light coming from places that are not the sun as the ground begins to curl in on itself like a collapsing dream, like a fibonacci spiral--wake up! wake up! you are so lost... was there ever a path? the music--the sound? the song? whatever it is, it fills your head leaving no room for anything else.
run!
or sing harmony if you like. the choice is yours. run from this place and its shifting fractal skeleton or become a bone yourself.
Holy sweet Jesus this was amazing, thank you. I love that yall are aspiring authors (cause so am I) and I love when you go off on a domain cause they slay.
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