#Mothers are harder

[moral-disorder]

I've started talking quite bluntly to my mum, after years and years of being trained by her to tread carefully around her, and pick my words so carefully to manage her reactions.

And I'm tired of it, and it makes me angry that I was trained to do that. So I consciously don't anymore.

Sadly the outcome of that is that my dad cops a lot of shit from my mum bc she cannot manage her own emotions, but she also knows now that I won't put up with her putting her reactions on me. So she saves them for my dad to deal with.

And I'm torn bc I don't want to make things worse for him. But I also don't want to go back to bending over backwards to make sure nothing I say will upset my mum.

I kind of think he should also change the way he deals with mum, bc the way we have always done it, only benefits mum and puts so much back on us. But I can't make him do that. And he has his own reasons and his own relationship with my mum.

So idk. I like so much talking to her like she is an equal adult who I can speak to directly. But there's fallout.

#personal #psych notes #Family is hard #Mothers are harder #Idk what I'll do #Maybe it's not even fair that dad has put this back on me

[canisalbus]

Wait we can kiss them?! Smallest little kiss on Machete's snout (I am being very brave and NOT grabbing it)

[not saying you should draw it, just tell him. That's enough for me]

.

#that's harder difficulty but okay #answered #anonymous #he doesn't remember his mom (she was a bit of a wire mother anyway) so in canon Vasco is likely the only person to have ever kissed him

[sanjarka]

i'm gonna start being mean. if you have enough understanding for katniss's depression then how are you calling katniss's mom selfish for her response to her husband's death. you do understand what catatonic depression is right? you understand that she didn't purposely abandon her children?

#i would also argue that she didn't even abandon katniss after prim's death but was actually protecting her #sometimes it seems like some people genuinely feel like she didn't love katniss as much as prim which is so... #she was afraid and she knew that if she were to return to 12 everything would repeat again #and yes as a mother she should take care of her daughter but she's also just a woman #how can two sick people take care of each other like literally how??? #and maybe she should've tried harder and not focused on the fear BUT I AM REPEATING DEPRESSION IS NOT SOMETHING YOU JUST CHOOSE TO HAVE #the only thing she's certain of is that the possibility of disappointing and hurting katniss is to high to risk it #and there are things to criticize her for surely but i just don't see any of her mistakes being a result of not caring for katniss #or not loving her #that's not it #I WILL PROTECT THIS WOMAN UNTILL THE END OF TIME #thg #everlark

[astraltrickster]

I find it genuinely fascinating and disturbing alike how the stereotype of autism, at least in many left-leaning spaces, has shifted in recent years from being a tragic, isolating white boys' disease, that tears families apart and is truly a fate worse than death for the sufferer, to a frivolous and #aesthetic white GIRLS' quirk that never has any ACTUALLY detrimental effects, not even any social difficulties, all these girls on TikTok can mask well and talk Normally and only flap cutely so what's YOUR excuse?

We spent maybe 5 figurative minutes talking about how autism mommy culture is abusively ableist in the way it simultaneously bends over backward to avoid teaching autistic kids - ESPECIALLY autistic boys - any meaningful coping skills, writing the whole concept off as just truly impossible (it's just the nature of The Autism Winning, these poor poor children are just tragically locked in their own heads, and if they're boys, well, Boys Will Be Boys, there's certainly nothing to be done for the meltdowns, stress reduction and clearer communication is a hopeless endeavor, he's just Acting Out completely arbitrarily, no I haven't actually TRIED I don't need to I Just Know), but simultaneously demands that kids learn these skills on their own because their parents just refuse to communicate with them on their own terms - then the fidget spinner trend happened, we got a whole stim toy industry, it blended with influencer and wannabe-influencer culture, and now...we just have a whole new stereotype that's no better; what it reduces in potential as eugenics propaganda, it makes up for in denial of support needs and misogynistic overtones.

In short, I fucking hate it.

#disability #serious tag #actually autistic #i mean not that there was ever significant support for autistic girls #just. on average girls get punished harder for *not* masking because no one writes it off as impossible #because Girls Are Supposed To Be People-Smart ((((((: #this is not better and i am not saying it is #but it's not as emblematic of the mindset around the older stereotype of the diagnosis y'know? #and tbh i think we should look at the differences in a way that's not about which is Worse #what's always been done to boys is like. tailor made to create disorganized attachment. it's hot and cold #whereas what's done to girls is consistently some wire mother shit #and both approaches FUCKING SUCK

[sillynarcissist]

I wish I could kill people who were boring or slightly irritating to me

#npd posting #actually cluster b #npd safe #post dinner talks with my mother always piss me off so bad #at first its interesting then she's like And here's why you're wrong and I'm right #and its my mom not like I can disagree #then she rambles on and on and on and on it gets so boring so fast #today I learned just how fast she'll turn on me if I ever show signs of mental illness that aren't just being sad #oh and she has to top it off with My Life Is Harder Than Yours #narcissistic ass rambling from me over here but whatever I deserve a little pause on self awareness sometimes

[roseferncal]

mommy? sorry. mommy?

bonus:

#season 2 really said 'woe Mommy Issues be upon ye' #the bear #the bear fx #the bear s2 #carmy berzatto #richie jerimovich #syd adamu #jeremy allen white #ayo edebiri #syd and tina's relationship also slaps (and stings) so much harder knowing about syd's mom #syd's getting her mother figure and im just so #sugar berzatto #ebon moss-bachrach #motherhood #jamie lee curtis #my posts

[stuckinapril]

how did u become this productive and academic and cool.. what age did u start..

Built this way babeyyyy

#I’m kidding. Idk I’ve been very academically oriented since I was a child #Being raised by an overachieving engineer mother probably helped but I can also safely say I was predisposed to academia the whole time #And as uni got harder I started mentally coaching myself until I got where I wanted #I also genuinely love science and I’m grateful to be studying something I’m passionate about every day #And while academic productivity (for the lack of a better term) comes naturally to me other stuff doesn’t #I’m very much a schedule kind of person and if I don’t have meticulous to do lists I literally die #I’m very lazy in certain aspects but I also like keeping my hands busy which is pretty fortunate #Flattered that u think being a nerd is cool. That is basically what I am

[gayvampyr]

im glad we’re finally talking about lack of technology literacy in younger people. everyone assumes we’ll automatically be good at it and have all the know-how because we grew up with it, and sure i might be more knowledgeable about it than say, someone 15 years older, but technology is changing and becoming more “turnkey” and a lot of the customization and workarounds just are not that accessible or obvious anymore. several tech companies boast that their new products are so simple and easy that a baby could do it, and users no longer have to figure out or understand anything behind the scenes because look, there’s a button right there you can press for this issue and if you’re still having problems you can just take it to a technician.

and im not saying this is inherently bad, it’s more accessible to people who don’t know anything about technology, but we are losing our computer skills because we don’t understand the tech and don’t see a need to. you buy a phone or a laptop and it’s perfectly usable fresh out the box and you don’t have to do anything to customize it because they’ve done it for you, which sucks especially considering they often don’t even want you to mess with the programming or software. customization is discouraged so they give you a handful of options they picked out and that’s that, and if your computer goes kaput then instead of learning how to fix it you can just throw it away and buy a new one! and while turnkey tech is a good option for a lot of people, we should still be encouraging know-how and teaching tech literacy in school as we become even more dependent on it. so many young people are struggling to work on computers and no one thinks to teach them because of the generation they’re in. it’s a major issue.

#like i know so little about programming software and engineering and i’ve tried to get into it but im not a kid anymore and my brain isn’t #nearly as malleable as it used to be #and so the concepts come a lot harder to me than they would have in grade school #the furthest extent my official computer education went was making mother’s day cards in photoshop and ms paint #so #text post #technology literacy

[pearlcaddy]

INFINITE JULIE GIFS: 88/∞

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatpedit #julie molina #juliemolinaedit #jukeboxsource #cinematv #filmtvdaily #smallscreensource #latineheroes #latinesource #ladiesblr #dailytvwomen #wonderfulwoc #femaledaily #infinitejulie #pearlcaddyedit #pearlcaddy jatp #clearing out my drafts #mother's day is hitting harder than expected so carving out some quick moments of giffing joy for myself

[quaranmine]

I've been rereading Firewatch AU because I intend to make a copy to give to my mother to read. It will, um, be the first time she's ever read my writing but this is probably the best example of it anyway. It's not like I want to explain Watcher!Grian to her either lmao so it may as well be this

I wanted to use the Gdocs comment feature to sort of "annotate" parts for her to give her some fun facts as well as explain the more fanfiction-y elements. (For example, explaining what calling Mumbo a spoon means.) So since I am doing it alongside minor edits in a reread, I am doing it in the most inefficient way possible by copying and pasting one page at a time to the new document. For 217 pages. Yay! Gdocs has a feature to just copy an entire document, but since I am editing it as I go I want both copies to be the same. Except one has comments and one is clean. And I only want to read it through once for comments/editing. Anyway!

Things I am noticing:

I do, as always, cringe a little at earlier writing. But I actually do this less than normal on this fic? I actually still like most of it and can reread it pretty easily. This is in contrast to some other things of mine where I whiplash back and forth dramatically on love/hate.

I have used THREE different formats for "am/pm" in this fic.

Somewhere, somehow, the formatting is different on the documents because the new copy is??? shorter than the other??? But they have the same wordcount so I know I haven't skipped anything. there's just Something off between them

i will add more as I go 🤔

#dont @ me about my methods i know this is a weird way to copy a fic #theres nothing i love more in life than making things unecessarily harder on myself if that was the method that came to my mind #im on page 40 something now #i fear my mother grows impatient

[moral-disorder]

My mum sent me this article today that she had obviously found through Facebook. And it was just a really simple break down of adhd, how it often presents in women, and how not being diagnosed affects people.

With no commentary... Just the article. Now I've been diagnosed with adhd for like.. Idk years and years now. I've always talked about it a lot. It was a huge deal for me. It made a huge difference.

No one in my family cared. Like 3yrs ago my nephew was diagnosed. Great, I was really happy for him and even tried like... Giving my perspective as a fellow adhder. No one gave a shit. The amount of times I was just totally ignored, was frustrating.

Second nephew, from a different sibling, was also diagnosed a year later. Great, tried to give info and perspective into what it's like having it. My sister in law was the only person who listened at all.

THEN my sister got diagnosed with adhd last year. Fucking sisters man, now... All of a sudden... Many many years after my diagnosis.. Even years after its a real thing for the kids... Now.. My mum is like... Looking into it as an experience that may have potentially impacted me lol

I talked about the article with her later and she said she understands why some things were so difficult when I was a kid, and she felt bad about how angry she would get with me.

And yeah, that's nice for you to have realised that. You're about 10 years behind in that revelation though, because I went through all this when I got diagnosed adhd... And for some reason you're only just now reading very fucking basic articles about what it is.

#personal #psych notes #Adhd #Mothers are harder #Rant #But seriously it makes me really annoyed

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that astoria went through a rebellious phase in her teens and got a nose piercing and a tiny hidden tattoo on her hip ✨️

#canonicaly 🤓☝🏻 she was rebellious in her views on muggles and blood purity SO is it really that much of a stretch 😗😗 #my answer is no so here we are #the tattoo can be whatever you want it to be #a butterfly was my original thought because thats every womans classic hidden tattoo innit #i think one meaning of the name astoria is hawk so perhaps that #but that would be harder to be small lmao #she wears a little plain silver nose ring btw not a stud #astoria greengrass #hpcc #harry potter #drastoria #draco is lowkey obsessed with both #hes obsessed with everything about his wife lets be real here guys #number one wife supporter #her mother was so mad when she found out but daphne found it funny as hell

[fadelikeclouds]

“Even if other people don’t forgive you, you need to learn to forgive yourself.” - Team’s mother

But Team can’t forgive himself. He doesn’t know how, and so he goes to Ton’s grave to look for forgiveness from someone who can’t give it to him. (I’m crying.) Not to mention the way he runs away when he hears someone else coming to visit Ton’s grave, like he doesn’t have a right to be there, grieve there. (I’m still crying.)

Then he’s crying behind that bush as he looks at the gold medal that should have belonged to Ton. He feels like he’s stolen everything from Ton from his life to this gold medal. He doesn’t feel like he deserves anything, or has earned anything for himself. It’s all a debt that he’s desperately trying to repay, because he survived and Ton didn’t. It’s all so overwhelming, and he wishes that he had died instead.

But in this dark place, he calls Win. Which is a big deal because Team avoids burdening others with his problems. Sure, he'll beg Pharm for snacks, and ask Win to treat him to a meal. But he doesn’t tell anyone about his insomnia and anxiety. He doesn’t tell anyone that he almost drowned recently. Win discovered these things by accident and because he cared about Team, not because Team told him about them. So just the fact that these two have cultivated a relationship where Team is able to call Win, asking for someone to hold him together while he falls apart, is just so immensely beautiful to me. Because whether Team realizes it or not, he already believes that Win will be there for him no matter what, that Win will catch him.

And here is a person who desperately wants Team to stay alive. Win doesn’t know exactly what happened in Team’s past, and he can’t make Team forgive himself. All he can do is tell him how much he means to him, and that’s just really lovely. Because what Team needs right now isn’t someone who will tell him, “it’s not your fault”. He’s not in the mindset to be able to process and accept that. He needs someone to tell him that his life matters, that if he were to die there’s someone who might be just as devastated as Ton’s mother is. He might not be able to forgive himself yet, but he can start to see that he is valued.

TLDR: I love these two with my whole heart. I love seeing Team reach out for help when he's in the depths of his self-loathing. And I love how Win's love and care have melted away the walls that have been keeping Team isolated in his own pain.

#between us #between us the series #between us ep9 #prem warut #I was crying when Team was talking to Ton at his grave #then I cried harder when Ton's mother was there grieving #then I cried even harder when the shot went back to Team behind the bush. #And I still love this whole scene #does that make me a masochist? #Also - sometimes there are things you can't tell your parents because you don't want to worry them #because you feel like your problems are going to disrupt their happiness #and you don't want to do that to them because you feel that their happiness is more important than your suffering. #I love moments in stories where characters reveal their vulnerabilities and someone else is there to embrace them. #reasons why I love this story #precipitating thts

[carlyraejepsans]

oghhh this one's turning out so fucking good

#points at Her even harder. MOTHER.

[hope-i-dont-choke]

People who don’t like book Sally because she’s too perfect are missing the points, 1) Percy Jackson is king of unreliable narrators, and 2) a 12 year old boy who only receives love from his mother, is going to think his mother is perfect.

#Rick actually did a good job in writing sally because he was writing her FROM Percy’s pov #Not as the person she is but as the mothers she’s seen by her child to be #And children are not 100% accurate narrators #Percy jackson #show sally is easy to empathise with as a woman while book sally is harder to see as anything other than a mom #Because the show is not being watched through Percy vision #I love this show

[kerfufflecricket]

@z3r0b1tch35 I always love drawing akaza!! He is my babyy ;^;

bonus:

#can you tell I have a favorite? #douma would be such a mother hen #(I had a lot harder time coming up with an idea than I thought I would (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠)) #kerfuffle rambles #sfw agere #agere #demon slayer agere #kny agere #agere art #agere requests #douma #akaza