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blogthebooklover · 3 months

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30 Things I Learned As An Adult

In honor of me turning 30 in January, I’ve decided to write out a list of 30 things I learned as an adult. Now, some of these worked for me through trial and error, while others did not.

1. Self Care Is Important

I cannot stress this enough. We all need to practice self care, to take time for ourselves. It takes baby steps to find a good self-care routine, and there’s plenty of online resources to find one to your tastes. Remember it is all about trial and error, and don’t worry about perfecting it right away. Research some different self care routines online as a starting point.

2. Read Books, Not Fanfiction

Okay, don’t get me wrong, I do love reading some good ole fanfiction, and current events. However, definitely pick up a book once in a while. Whether it’s a graphic novel, comics, manga, please develop a reading habit. It definitely helped me out a lot as a former college dropout, there are reading lists on sites like Goodreads, here on Tumblr, even colleges have lists what books students are required to read. And it does help with expanding your knowledge and vocabulary. As I’ve previously said, I’m a former college dropout who’s currently back in school, however, developing a healthy reading habit is what kept me grounded. If you need a starting point, I recommend reading a fiction book, preferably in the SciFi/Fantasy genre; or reread a book from your childhood. Also, PLEASE GET A LIBRARY CARD! You’ll definitely be saving a lot of money, and we need to support our public libraries now more than ever.

3. Say “No” More Often

If you don’t feel comfortable going out, or if your manager calls and asks to cover a shift, just say “no.” Remember, you have the power to set boundaries, especially with family, friends, and work. This correlates to number 1 on my list, self care is super important, and you cannot put your health at risk for anyone. I’m going to repeat that last part: SELF CARE IS SUPER IMPORTANT, AND YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR HEALTH AT RISK FOR ANYONE!

4. Register To Vote, And Vote In Every Election

With politics being so polarized and divisive in the past decade, and the upcoming 2024 US Presidential Election, please register to vote. And voter suppression has been very rampant in the past two, arguably three, decades. To anyone about to turn 18 here in the US, please register to vote ASAP! And vote in every goddamn election, both national and local. I seriously cannot stress this enough.

5. Eat Healthy, No Seriously

I love some fast food once in a while now, however, please take some time to learn about healthy eating. It will catch up with you in the future, and our US healthcare system is already fucked as all hell. I know the rising costs of everything, including food, is insane right now; but please keep informed about how to prepare good healthy food.

6. Take Breaks From Current Events, Social Media, and the Internet

This also correlates with number one. While it is very important to stay informed with what is happening in the world/country of origin; especially with the US Presidential Election year. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks from reading too much news, and scrolling through social media feeds. It really does have an effect on your mental health, and unfortunately too many people tend to fall down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole on all sides of the political spectrum. To the teenagers and young adults, take breaks and focus on your mental health and well-being. To the adults, read the previous sentence. With everything so polarizing, take care of yourself first.

7. High School Friends DO NOT LAST!

My friends from high school and early college years were definitely the “ride and die” type of friends, metaphorically speaking. If you have that one friend who was/is the “give the shirt off their back” type, check in on them once in a while. However, with the former, just move on. The friends I had in high school definitely had a lot of childhood trauma, and in one aspect, I’m glad that they were honest about it; it was/is a way to heal. However, any “friend” who just doesn’t want to better themselves and use you for any convenience, DUMP THEM AND CUT OFF ALL CONTACT! Remember just as you set boundaries with your toxic family members, and even for your job, you should do the same with friends.

8. Change Jobs, ASAP!

This is a very important one. I didn’t really have a job as a teenager, I wanted to enjoy being a kid for a little longer, however, I did have an occasional babysitting job. At 23 years old, I got a job at a fast food place. While I do appreciate part of the experience, like how to use the “customer service” voice, however, any red flags that pop up in your head, change jobs, ASAP! It was toxic, too political (for some weird reason) and a lot of drama (and not from the teenagers). The grocery store I work at now does have its busy times, however, it’s much more calmer, and I don’t see too many “Karen” types.

9. Declutter More Often

This is also a definite must as you get older. Whatever you don’t need anymore, donate them. Whatever is completely broken, throw it away! Whatever it is that is in good condition, sell it or maybe give it to someone as a birthday/holiday present. Any old makeup, throw it away! It’ll help reduce the amount of clutter and mess. If you need a starting point, I suggest the KonMari method. It really did help me out a lot.

10. Use A Planner

This is a life-and-time saver. Write down any appointments, cleaning days, paydays, bill charges, etc.; into a physical planner. If you’re in college, please use one! And write down any assignments to work on/turn in BEFORE the deadline. Also, anything important, put into your calendar app on your phone and laptop as a reminder.

11. Have A Skin Care Routine

Okay, I know having a skin care routine isn’t for everyone, and we all have different reactions to skin care products; however, don’t be afraid to experiment with a good skin care routine. In my early teen years, I used Proactiv skin care for my acne, and it helped out a lot. Remember: cleanse, tone, any serum of your choice, and moisturize. This also helps out if you don’t feel like jumping into the shower. Also, use sunscreen, seriously.

12. Don’t Get Married, Until You’re Ready

This is coming from someone who is single, lol. If you plan on getting married to your romantic partner, I’m proud of you! Marriage is about communication, being honest, and doing equal amount of work (finances, household chores, etc.) Save money if you’re planning for a wedding, or go to your local courthouse to get a marriage license if you don’t want the big, fancy reception.

13. Don’t Have Kids, Until You’re Ready

Again, this is coming from someone who is single and childless, lol. Having kids is a lot of work: physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Not everyone is capable of being a parent, and I have read PLENTY of posts on here and other websites about toxic parents/parenting styles. Take time and think about if you’re ready to become a parent.

14. Learn How To Budget Your Money

This is for anyone of any age out there. Please learn how to budget your spending. Look for stuff on sale or clearance, or cut back on certain types of spending. I know most people have no idea where to start, but there is! There’s some great websites and YouTube channels on how to budget your money. Another great tool to use are spreadsheets like Microsoft Excel or Google Sheets. I use a Google Sheet template to help track my spending and budget my finances. Also, if you have gift cards from your birthday/holidays/etc; definitely use them, you won't be breaking your bank account :). Also, definitely have some paper cash in your wallet for emergency use.

15. Open A Savings/Emergency Funds Account, ASAP!

This is a huge one to have as an adult, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Anything left over from paying the bills, from a side hustle, or from your tax returns, put that into savings. Certain banks will also have the option of creating “financial goals” in savings accounts; so I highly recommend using that as well. This also correlates with number 14. If you’re interested, open two or three savings accounts, the last one should only be for emergency funds.

16. Get A Physical Hobby, AKA Exercise!

It doesn’t matter what type of exercise you do, please do it! And for anyone who is physically disabled, there are modified options provided on YouTube. We do lose certain motor functions as we age, so definitely pick an exercise that’s right for you, as they say. Even if it's just going outside for a walk for 30 minutes, please do some type of exercise.

17. Learn How To Meal Prep

It doesn’t have to be for every meal of every day, pick a meal you want to make and prepare ahead of time. And prepare that meal the day before, so it will be on hand when you leave your house. There are some great videos on YouTube, and some ideas from Pinterest if you need a starting point.

18. If You’re Able To, Go To The Dentist!

Seriously though, try and go for a checkup/teeth cleaning. You’re only given one set of teeth after all your baby teeth fall out, and you need to take good care of them. If you’re able to, or live near to one, local colleges have free cleanings through their dental training programs.

19. If Your Job Offers a 401K, GET ON IT NOW!

My old job at a fast food restaurant didn’t have retirement benefits, but my current grocery store job does. I jumped on it right away, even if it’s not the job I want right now. And it’s a good starting point to have some money saved up for retirement. If you leave the job that has a 401k, you can do what's called a rollover. This will put the money that was set into the first retirement fund into another one; you can do this with your bank or if your new job has a 401k.

20. If You Don’t Have Health Insurance, Sign Up With The State, or Through Your Job.

In my experience, I have insurance through the state at the moment. If your job offers health insurance as well, jump on it right away, even if it’s not the job you want, it’ll be a starting point that correlates with number 19.

21. It’s Okay To Not Go To College

This is coming from someone who was a college dropout at 19, and currently back in school. If you don’t feel ready to go to college, that’s okay too. College is very expensive, especially here in the US, and not everyone can get a scholarship, even if they did apply for a lot of them. Maybe get a part-time job or two (for some income), explore some hobbies you enjoy, and take some time to think about some goals.

22. If You’re In College, It’s Okay To Stay At Home

Again, coming from a former college dropout, I stayed at home while attending a nearby community college in another state. However, out-of-state tuition and housing is also very expensive. If you have a good relationship with your parents, and if you’re going to school in-state, talk to them about staying home while going to school. If you don’t, then talk to a trusted friend or family member about getting an apartment together that isn’t on-site housing while you’re attending school.

23. Watch Non-English Language Movies

If you’re a movie lover like me, take some time to watch some foreign language films once in a while; and I know we anime fans do, lol. To be honest, it does get very boring watching English language films all the time, whether from the States, England, or Canada. Watching foreign language movies will definitely help you to understand the world a lot better, if you don’t have the means for traveling yet; and they will help you to understand that no matter where we live, we all have similar issues, hopes, dreams, etc. If you need a starting point, I recommend any of the Studio Ghibli movies, I would start with Kiki’s Delivery Service; or Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth.

24. SET BOUNDARIES

Remember: toxic family members and friends are not worth it. You are worthy and valid for love and respect. This correlates to number 7. This is also very useful in the workplace.

25. Express Yourself Through Fashion

Like everyone else, I feel most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt myself; however sometimes I like to dress up just for fun, or to build up my self esteem and image. This also helps when learning to pair an accessory with an outfit. Play around with different color palettes and clothing styles, and find the one you feel the most “you.” For example, I’ve always looked my best in jewel tones and a cooler color palette. Read some fashion articles or watch some YouTube videos about how to pick out an outfit.

26. It Is Not Selfish To Prioritize Yourself

This correlates with number 3. I have noticed it’s mostly a Western/American/Christian culture norm, we’re always told to take care of others before taking care of ourselves; or we’re selfish for prioritizing ourselves over others. It is not selfish, it is part of self care. Again, this is tied in with number 24.

27. Failing and Making Mistakes Is Part of Growing

There is so much societal pressure on trying to be successful in life and work, especially in the Western/American hemisphere. However, making mistakes and failing at something is part of growing, and learning as an individual.

28. It's Okay to Not Have a Label to Define Yourself

Hear me out. I understand the use of labels in society and culture in general; everyone wants to belong somewhere and feel accepted. However, it is okay to not have a label to define who you are, and who you want/choose to be. Take all the time you need to figure out what's best for you. And sometimes people don't realize a label will fit them until they are much older in life. Or they couldn't at the time.

29. Don't Compare, You'll Get There

We are human, and we all have the tendency to compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, this doesn't end after high school and college. And that needs to seriously change, especially in the Western/American hemisphere. Simply writing down "don't compare, you'll get there" is a great reminder to have for yourself. Everyone learns and grows at their own pace.

30. It Really Is The Little Things That Keep Us Going

When life seems to get too hard, it really is the little things that keep us going. Whether it is something as simple as someone holding a door open for you, or someone complimenting* you on your outfit or your work ethic; those moments are the ones that matter the most. Remember those moments, hold on to them.

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grapeybaby666 · 7 months

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I am looking to help my own mental health, by actually taking my art seriously. I want to better myself and I want to do something creative to sustain myself. I’m a support worker and I work very hard. But my mental health has been rapidly declining. I’m also a mother and work to keep up my own household.

I am seriously looking for any advice or anything I could do better and any ideas on how to get into selling my own art. As Someone who’s trying to make things better when things are at their worst.

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nerdby · 9 months

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If you ever wondered what toxic masculinity is I am begging you to please watch this episode of the 1990s sitcom Everyone Loves Raymond. The episode starts with Ray's wife saying that she feels unappreciated and wishes that her husband would tell her he loved her more often. By the end of the episode we see Ray encouraging everyone to remain emotionally unavailable.

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This is only one example of toxic masculinity, but its also extremely common and deeply ingrained in society. It is because of this outdated mindset that middle-aged men, both cishet and otherwise, have the highest rates of suicide in the US. Because they have been taught by their peers and through media like Everyone Loves Raymond that expressing your emotions and making yourself emotionally vulnerable is uncomfortable and therefore wrong.

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moviehealthcommunity · 11 months

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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse has extensive use of extreme strobe effects surrounding sci-fi happenings. This includes sudden glitching flashes, and giant machines that produce colorful and harsh strobes. All of the opening production company logos (of which there are at least 6) are covered in the glitching effect. The lights on police cars also create extreme strobes frequently.

There is a lot of action at high speeds and extreme heights, with plenty of disorienting camera angles and maneuvers including rolls and swinging. Multiple scenes take place with no consistent sense of up and down.

Flashing Lights: 10/10. Motion Sickness: 10/10.

Image ID: A promotional poster for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

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satanachia666 · 2 years

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Horror Movie Review: Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

TW: R*pe, psychosis, mental health, pregnancy, trauma, misogyny, sexism, spoilers

I finally got the chance to watch Rosemary’s Baby, a horror classic that was released in 1968. It’s about a woman named Rosemary Woodhouse (played by Mia Farrow) who starts out as an average bright-eyed newly wed. However, the story unravels in a way that makes it clear that she’s either going through psychosis during her pregnancy or caught up in a manipulative, malicious plot devised by a coven of Satan-worshipping witches.

Overall, I enjoyed this horror movie a lot.

On one hand, it features many of the ill-informed stereotypes that were later brought back into the cultural consciousness during the Satanic Panic of the 1980s. For instance, there’s talk of Satanic witches using baby blood and eating human flesh. I know that they’re talking about witches in this movie, but they’re especially talking about witches who work with Satan like myself. I also know that those stereotypes are far from the reality of how the outstanding majority of Satanic witches conduct ourselves.

However, there are also a lot of feminist themes and cultural commentary present in this movie that was/is cutting edge for a 60s horror movie. The movie itself starts with Rosemary’s husband, Guy Woodhouse, r*ping her while she was passed out and acting like it was nothing the next morning. Throughout the movie, Rosemary is continually connecting the dots and attempting to break free, but her pain is always minimized, disbelieved, or outright dismissed by the people around her. Nearly everyone in the movie makes out Rosemary to be “hysterical” or “mad,” reminding the audience of how not very long ago, women were diagnosed with hysteria simply for not conforming to society’s expectations of us.

Rosemary’s Baby is a testament to society’s ongoing refusal to believe women, especially when we say we’re in pain. Personally, as a trauma survivor, I perceive all of Rosemary’s actions as part of a trauma response induced by r*pe, pregnancy, and the resultant psychosis from being under so much stress. For the late 60s, all of this was very heavy stuff to discuss, and I appreciate how much guts it took to make a movie like this at that time.

With that being said, the only thing in Rosemary’s Baby that was accurate about witchcraft was how many times, witchcraft is a bunch of old people standing around naked and chanting together. Nonetheless, it’s a fun movie to watch if you like horror movies with feminist themes.

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amoralcrackpot · 2 days

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trashmuis · 6 months

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So I work at the local flea market and it's really nice but also there are so many rednecks that come by, and sometimes when I'm working I just daydream one of the Sawyer brothers will show up and make me really uncomfortable ❤

#oh dont worry btw im for sure going to soon make a headcanon post about what that would be like for them to show up #admittedly it is very busy today so they wouldnt be caught dead here now... sigh #i guess technically i dont live in Texas anyway but it's fine #i dont think this makes a case for my mental health me joking about this so casually...#ah well it's whatever #also notice how i say one of the Sawyer brothers #1. bc i dont care which one #2. i dont think i could handle more than one at a time #tcm #the texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw massacre #horror #movies #slasher community

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neverendingford · 8 months

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#tag talk #very very very very happy rn. went to the library to get a library card since I have my id and address confirmation now #and I saw the librarian's trans pins so I made a comment because I didn't see a section for preferred name (there was I'm just bad at readin #and she talked some about her name change and I talked about moving and anyway I'm acchghhh it was very nice #getting out and meeting trans people is so very good for my mental health. I'm working towards being able to find and go to a group #also she stood up and I just 😳😳😳 she was taller than me by quite a bit and I'm six foot. I repeat: 😳😳😳#anyway. my day was already good but now it's even better. I need some trans pins ngl. I've got some rainbow ones on my bag #but nothing explicitly trans #I automatically add affirmations like “going outside is good and healthy” because I'm used to hanging around depressed isolationist #so if you're not that then keep moving. but for the people like me here. remember that even getting out to a group once a week is good #a morning park walk group. a mediocre dnd group. a movie watching squad. even a group therapy session once a week.#I go for midnight walks when the social fear is overwhelming. but finding ways to overcome the crippling social fear is so important.#because we need community. we need companionship. we need connection.#anyway. today is good and I'm very happy because yesterday was depression central

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loveemagicpeace · 3 months

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🎈Jupiter & Your Spouse🎱

🎈Jupiter is the planet that indicates what characteristics your husband/wife will have. Which zodiac sign can it be and where can you meet the person.🎈

❤️‍🔥Jupiter in the 1st house - your spouse can be fiery, independent, intense, daring, fearless. Can have a lot of energy and can also invest a lot in things he is passionate about. It gives a lot to the appearance. A person's energy and expression can mean a lot to him. A spouse may like someone who is fearless or a risk-taker himself. Having Jupiter in the first house indicates that the right partner can help you discover your true self and bring out your best qualities. They expand your sense of self and can make you feel very self-assured. You can meet your spouse at an event, sporting event, competition or somewhere related to you. You can just when you go outside the comfort zone.

🤎Jupiter in 2nd house- your spouse can be stable, materialistic, stubborn, likes comfort, luxury, money. Can spends a lot on food, movies, music and above all enjoyment. Determined and fixed. Your partner will be vocal about their beliefs and seek a partner who shares their perspective. You can meet a spouse at the bank, at a concert, in the cinema, or at a hotel. You could also meet them out in public while indulging in your favorite things.

🧪 Jupiter in 3rd house - your spouse can be communicative, talkative, intelligent, quick to respond, rational, likes many different things and topics. Spouse can put a lot on communication and the mind. He could be younger than you. This gives you good and understanding partners, and they will support you in every phase. You also tend to attract overly complicated relationships that can cause you a headache. Jupiter in the third house shows you might fall in love with someone you grew up with, like a classmate from school, a neighbor, or a family friend. You can meet a spouse through siblings, relatives, at school, quizzes, social games, it can also be your neighbor, roommate.

⛵️Jupiter in 4th house- your spouse can be caring, compassionate, emotional, can help you and is always there for you. A person who values privacy and likes to be at home or in the comfort zone. A person who gives a lot to family and home. Can be very protective and tough. Sometimes also capricious. You can meet them through your mother, close people, at a house party, in your home environment, somewhere near where you live, dinner party or out walking your dog or housewarming hosted by friends.

🎡Jupiter in the 5th house - your spouse can be proud, playful, strong, always carry an inner child, loud, fun, romantic. He gives a lot to hobbies, fun, socializing. He likes things that are light and pleasant. Can be warm, confident, determined, generous and also selfish. It indicates that your future spouse will be the center of attention, an outgoing person who is widely known. You can meet them at some activities, casino, can also be love at first sight, at the summer time, out on the town, whether dancing, singing karaoke, or exploring a new city with your friends.

🖼️Jupiter in the 6th house - your spouse is caring, takes care of health, can be a perfectionist, sees details, hardworking, organized, critical. It gives a lot to lifestyle and movement. He knows what he wants out of life. He might seem particular to some, but he's just the right brand of neurotic for you. You can meet them at work, in your everyday life (for example, in a store, pharmacy, physical exercises, fitness center), at the doctor's.

🧸Jupiter in the 7th house - your spouse is romantic, harmonious, fair, balanced. A spouse can give a lot of peace and attitude around him. The spouse can be harmonious, beautiful and like orderliness and beauty from the outside and from the inside. He knows how to see the beauty in everything. Marriage is important to him. You can meet them at a beauty competition, through friends, you can also through your ex, in court.

🦋Jupiter in the 8th house - your spouse can be intense, mysterious, deep, persistent, obsessive, self-sacrificing. Does everything for the people he loves. A spouse can give a lot on privacy, secrets, sharing things with another person. It may be important for them to share everything with you. You can meet them in the financial administration, deeper places, secret places, intimate places, can also be your psychologist or meet them there. You may meet them at a spiritual retreat, religious gathering, or group event where you can meet like-minded individuals.

🪂Jupiter in the 9th house - your spouse can be optimistic, happy, religious, even from another country, adventurous, open, direct, passionate. It can have a lot of life in it. Live in the moment and for the moment. A spouse can give a lot to education, novelty, innovation. Can always support you in everything you do. You can meet them on a trip, adventure parks, church, at someone's wedding, university, lecture.

🎱Jupiter in the 10th house - your spouse can be determined, strong, powerful, serious, responsible, older, more mature, hard-working. It can be someone who is recognizable and a public figure. Jupiter here make spouses more responsible and loving. They just aren't dominant or commanding by nature. On the flip side, no matter what transpires in their lives, these gentlemen will always encourage and believe in their spouses. You can meet them in a public place, public institutions, through parents, father or grandfather.

🪁Jupiter in the 11th house - your spouse is unique, different, dreamy. He always has a set goal and vision. A free person who gives a lot to independence. Can be a person who is sociable or can be a loner. Very smart and intelligent. Can also be famous on social networks. Different from the others. Someone who is smart and intelligent and know all about social media and can also be a logical person who think with logical mind. They may be your best friend. You can meet them through friends, social networks, lonely places, can also be in unpredictable way.

🛼Jupiter in the 12th house - your spouse can be spiritual, dreamy, emotional, compassionate, kind. A person who gives a lot to dreams and fantasy. A person who care for others. Can also be very artistic person. Here it is necessary to make sure that the person is not manipulative or addicted to drugs. The image of a person sometimes is not the way they present themselves at first. you can actually find out all of things about them later. So it's important that you get to know the person. You can meet them at a dance, art club, gallery, hospital, prison.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🫧🦋🛼

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #my notes #astrological houses #birth chart #jupiter #future spouse

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