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#My mom every year that goes by because i cant get an good enough grip of taking care of myself and doing the bare minimum to be alive ... So
mrfoox · 3 years
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I know im a broken record but I really just wish I could find some happiness or at least peace that lasts for more than 5 mins when I'm alone
#miranda talking shit#Negative#I just want someone to love and who loves me and to live with them with a cat or two#But im so broken and i cant see anyone mangaing to be with me for more than a month before noping the fuck out#Being told from all places that 'things will get better ' when you've been feeling this way since you were 13 and having had sucidal thought#Since you were 8 is like... Uh... Its been 10 years i.... I have just aged and lost my youth to my illness haha....#Having to come to terms with the fact that youre probably going to be one of those people who doesnt get a good ending is hard#I always love and wish the best for everyone i meet and want to help them but im... Not ever going to find anyone that want that for me#And even if i did i guess i would just deny it or not accept it because i have no right to any love because im like this. Im disappointing#My mom every year that goes by because i cant get an good enough grip of taking care of myself and doing the bare minimum to be alive ... So#I can study or work like hahahah how lame is that? I just want to convince my own brain that i deserve to be alive even if its an pathetic#Life. But it's been over 10 years with medication therapy three different schools and thousands of doctor visits but its the same im the sam#I cant escape the thoughts that i am long overdue. I have expired. Im the rotten fruit left in the fruit isle at a store thats a danger to#All other fruits. I need to die already so i don't make it harder for everyone else. And i have the audacity to feel bad and sad over not#Being loved... The fucking nerve is mind blowing. I hate this i do. And then I'm not bad enough to not consider others feelings if i kms or#Cut mself so i have no way of escaping it. My guilt is literally trapping me here and also wanting me dead its so inlogical i would laugh it#If it wasnt my real state of existence. Everyone has trauma theyre dealing with so why cant i just do it? Because im pathetic and weak obv#Anyone saying im kind is just so untrue too. Im thinking and feeling empathy for anything that is helpless because i am and wish i could be#Saved. Even my kindness is selfish. So i csnt accept anything nice anyone says about me. It isnt true they do not know anything if they did#They wouldn't be able to even look at me. I guess this is all punishment for something i have done in a previous life. I wish I could know#Because having s reason behind all this shit would make my state of mind easier. If theres no reason behind anything then im one excuse low#In my existence and i am just so done with hitting myself against this wall over and over#No not a wall its a box because even if i try other things the feeling remain and i am unable to leave#I am thinking about dying and ending it on a daily basis but everytime someone ask ill say im okay because in that moment they are there#With me so technically i am. But my okay is not okay. My version of okay isnt alright but no one can change it and it would just make the#Other person feel bad so im just fine... Im okay... Nothing happened ...
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seostudios · 3 years
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mark’s dad.
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pairing: johnny x fem!readr
genre: fluff + smut (like little angst) info: dilf!johnny, son!mark, best-friend!mark, aged-up!johnny warnings: age gap, unprotected sex, masturbation (fem) wc: 2.1k
note: hi i wrote this on my phone at like 1-3 in the morning... sorry if it’s bad but i wanted to put out something! i hope you guys enjoy it though cause dilf!johnny is so sexy
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i think my son ditched you for haechan today, dear.” mr.suh informed you as you stood respectively in front of him, wearing an oversized sweater and basketball shorts. “aw man, i drove all this way for a movie with mark, and he ditched me for his other best friend...” you quietly sneer, the obvious jealously making an appearance. johnny chuckled, hands resting on his hips. he felt bad you came all this way for a simple movie night. “how about this?” your eyes look up, to the terrifyingly good looking man. “i will treat you to a movie and popcorn!” he suggested, knowing very damn well he’s going out of his way to possibly spend time with his son’s best friend, who he has known since they were sewed to the hip in sophomore year, now in university. “i-i don’t think that’s be appropriate,” “why? because i’d like to spend time and get to know the friend and possible love interest of my son? i don’t see any harm in that. i’ll get my coat.” he quickly responded, saving himself.
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you knew he said you’d watch a movie together but you didn’t expect to get yourself two tickets to go watch a movie at an actual theatre. “that was amazing mr.suh-“ johnny looks down at your tiny figure holding the popcorn, “-i mean johnny!” if you’re being honest now, it was really nice getting to know johnny, besides the age difference and the possible complications with your amazing friendship with his son, you liked him. making your way over to his car, you listen on as he rambles about how he hasn’t this much of an outing since mark was in high school. “now he’s clinging onto me like we’re dudes, like i’m his dad not his bro.” he laughed, starting the car. “that’s so sweet though!! my mom never gave an effort to trying to be my friend even when i tried,” although you kind of party pooped the mood, you can literally reverse uno it right there. “but whatever!! she still brings me shopping which is good enough,”
nearing midnight and you know god damn well your mom would’ve killed you if she knew you took a taxi home alone in the middle of the night. johnny picked up on this, and even if he saw you in a new light today, a light which could possibly ruin his relationship with his son and a possible one with you, he couldn’t have let you home alone. “you know what? marks sleeping over at haechan’s anyway. i’ll call your mom and tell her you should stay over.” nodding, you let yourself in and up into his (messy) bedroom.
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“hope you enjoy peanut butter and jelly for dinner, i kind of forgot to buy groceries...” johnny said handing you a plate of mini sandwiches. you mutter a quick thanks before digging in. tonight you saw johnny not as mr.suh but as johnny, the hot ass mother fucking dilf of the neighbourhood. you thought you were just a regular teenager to him, but you thought wrong. feeling his gaze on your exposed neck, lips. how his breathing would quicken whenever you leaned in to grab another sandwich. “wanna watch america’s got talent?” you asked pointing towards the couch. he shrugs agreeing, “why not?”
you had insisted on cleaning the dishes, i mean it was the least you could do. “so what’s the point of this whole show? to humiliate people or actually scout out people?!” johnny questioned staring at the screen, not noticing how you went from being on opposite ends of the couch to being almost inches away. should you initiate something? no, that would be overstepping into something erasable.
“this is so wrong,” you tell yourself before abruptly standing up. johnny turns his attention to you, trying to foreshadow your next moves. however, he didn’t expect for you to turn back around and straddle on his lap, “whoa..” he said, gripping onto your hips. “i want you.” his mind goes blur momentarily, “i-i cant, your my son’s best friend...” god, you looked so hot with your shorts bunched up as far as they could as you slowly grinder down onto his (huge) clothed cock. “fu..fuck,” he moans aloud, pushing all thoughts aside except for the one that kept telling him to ruin you tonight. the night was going better than planned, since you were in straddled on a topless johnny with only your bra and shorts on... probably a good twenty five minutes into kiss play, but mark chose the best time to unintentionally cockblock you and his dad. “y/n!!”mark shouted through the phone loud enough for johnny to hear (and the speaker wasn’t even on!) “yes markie?” you cooed, using one hand to speak on the phone and the other to signal johnny to keep it quiet. your hands trailed overtop your breasts, cupping them through your bra and pinching your hardened nipples, soon bringing your cold fingers down to the waistband of your shorts. “it’s fine. we can always watch a movie next weekend, i literally see you everyday! go hang out with hyuck,” you encouraged. past the waistband and under the hello kitty panties your hand comes in contact with your sensitive (dripping) folds. “a-ah, m..mark i gotta go...” “are you getting laid or something? i’m out.” he quickly ends the phone and you made sure to turn on ‘do not disturb’ incase he calls again.
“go on, i’ll watch.” johnny said seductively observing you as you toyed with your sensitive clot. “i’m close johnny!” you quietly moan into his ear, rubbing faster. “cum on your fingers, now.” he ordered, feeling you twitch underneath him, grinding as you had an orgasm. “dirty girl...” he groans watching you pull your fingers up to suck dry. now, you were a filthy girl, tasting yourself without being told to, cumming in your panties which you knew damn might have to force you to go commando tonight in marks bed. it was like a slap in the face when johnny lifted you up to stand, “it’s late. i- we should head to bed... i can give you some new shorts... since you know,” he quickly stammered before swiping his shirt off the floor, heading upstairs.
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it was almost nine in the morning when you woke up, you knew johnny woke up around seven to eight so the sizzling smell of bacon wasn’t just some evil mind games. after last night, you felt, intense shame and guilt. did you seriously just betray your best friend for a lousy orgasm you could’ve done alone in the bathroom. “your up! i made breakfast, go ahead and dig in, i’m just gonna be cleaning up my bedroom.” he sounded as if you didn’t cum all over his lap not even 12 hours ago, but i guess he shouldn’t dwell in the past especially this time.
“mr.suh! my mom’s here! thank you... goodbye!” you shout from the front door. “anytime! bye!” he replies before you jolt out the door.
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it’s been a couple days and johnny hasn’t left your mind. you always think about what stopped him, was it the age? your friendship with mark? that fucking phone call? johnny and you that night was like no other, you saw him for johnny, not mr.suh and it made your panties soak at every thought. how his ink black hair is always combed and in the most attractive middle part, how his broad should could feel when you hold yourself while being railed by his enormous cock. it was big, would it even fit? you’ve been with men before but the bulge you felt poking you in then thigh was something else compared to the other men.
you roamed his mind freely too. spending his day drinking hours, pondering over you, will you just slap him in the face and let him know you want him and you don’t care? he hopes. but it’s wrong. “dad! y/n’s coming over to study today,” mark shouted running down the stairs to his father. “so don’t snatch her up and take her away for a movie date, we got an exam this monday.” he said nonchalantly, the mention of their little outing slipping oh too casually. “w-what?” he asked surprised. “yeah yeah, i know about your little date and hook up” “- we didn’t hook up.” johnny interrupted, “well whatever you were doing for her to end my phone call like that,” he goes to the fridge to grab some milk, “so...” johnny said, eager on his son’s say on this. “so..? do you want me to be mad, dad?” i was lying if i said johnny was chill now... “no!!!!” he shouted, which earns a couple laughs from mark. “hey, dad,” mark sits down infront of his father. “it’s okay, y/n probably likes you back so you can do whatever you want with her, except hurt her cause i’ll kill you.” he deadpans before letting him off with a laugh. “so she can be your new mom for all you care?” he asked, playfully of course, waiting for the “hell no” and “what the fuck dad?!” to come but... “i mean she bags and tells me what to do, she helps me with school, laundry and chicks so... i don’t see why not,”
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ding ding ding ding ding ding now what? hopping off the bean bag you were binge watching the office on, you head over to the door, not caring what you look like, just shut up to whoever had the audacity to spam a doorbell. “hello?!” you look up, “hey y/n,” johnny said with a small daisy in his hand.
“let me be your boyfriend,”
“what about mark?” you asked, staring at your feet wiggle in anticipation. hoping he’d tell you he doesn’t care and we could do whatever we wanted to. “funny you asked, he said for all he cares you could be his step mom.” you threw your head back laughing “he what?! no he didn’t....” the laughter dies down soon enough to get back to seriously listening in on what he has to say but did mark really not care? “your girlfriend huh?” you asked, raising a brow. he nodded. johnny proceeds to take the daisy and place it behind your ear, “you look like shit, but that is sexy as fuck.” he said, caressing your cheek before leaning in to place a peck on your lips.
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“i don’t get why you drove half an hour here to say that, when i was already coming over to study.” you tell your boyfriend, johnny, as your backs his mattress. it was seriously an eventful day, wasn’t it? “i thought i should be romantic,” he shrugged turning to his side to wrap his large arms around your waist pulling you in closer. “i like this...” he mumbled into your hair, slowly drifting off to sleep.
“are you falling asleep?! we need to leave in ten minutes!!” you shouted, attempting to free yourself from his hold but he was knocked out and not letting go any time soon. “i hate you.” “i think it’s the quiet opposite y/n dear,” he replied, burying himself in the blanket, bringing you with him. “now let’s take a quick nap, mark can wait,” you sigh in defeat, “okay fine... twenty minutes!”
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five months later, and you couldn’t believe having a relationship with your best friends dad was oddly working out perfectly. “johnny! fuck! baby your so good!” you whine as he penetrates into you against the wall. your legs wrapped around his waist as his cock rubs around your g-spot stimulating you into your third orgasm of that night. mark had recently gone travelling with jeno for fun so that meant you and johnny could’ve have your own fun in the empty house. “you can cum for me one more time can’t you?” he begged, placing you on the kitchen counter, kissing down your stomach. “answer me...” he sucks harhly on your clit. “yes! i can!!” you whined, squirming feeling johnny licking up your juicie; which sure as hell was mixed with his own cum, lapping his tongue around until you were shaking under his mouth and curling your toes to his mouth’s magic. “i’m- i’m cumming!!” you scream, releasing your juices onto the man’s face. “my favourite meal of the day.” he playfully joked before pinching your nipple. “tired?” he asked, as if he hadn’t been using you as a cum dump for hours. “mhm,” you reply opening your arms for him to carry you up, because “no way in hell am i walking up the stairs today after being railed by a monster cock.” you said snorting with a laugh. nonetheless, johnny swoops you up and gracefully carried you up and into his bed, “we can clean up tomorrow, let’s sleep now.” he said, feeling you wrap around him like a koala. “mmm goodnight... i love you,” you said in the crock of his neck, right below his ear before drifting off, “love you too,”
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sunsinrinn · 4 years
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Imma be real in this ask, but ummm can you do the main 3 reacting to their s/o writing a letter to their father in Spanish for their father’s birthday when they barely see their father after their father left them at a really young age and their s/o can’t finish writing the birthday card without breaking down in tears?
So my fathers birthday is tomorrow and I can’t visit him at his house due to him sending me and my sister back home and me being such a daddy’s little girl I was when I was younger I had trouble time adapting to not seeing him everyday like I used to. He left at a really bad time in my life when I needed him, he wasn’t there. He’s a workaholic and an alcoholic. I wasn’t a mommy’s little girl but my sister was so she got along much better with my mom instead of me. Please don’t cry if you read this
I get you <3 I paused my requests to answer your first.
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Izuku
Izuku doesn’t really know much about you and your father’s relationship
So when he can’t find you in the common room Saturday morning with the others he goes back upstairs to check your room
He does not knock when he sees your door is slightly ajar
He peeks in and sees you writing on your desk
You were there attempting to write your father a letter
Emphasis on attempting because you kept stopping
You didn’t want to but everytime you wrote, tears threatened to spill
Izuku noticed that the minute you stop writing.
He walks in and softly speaks, “Y/N? Is everything okay?”
You quickly wipe your tears and look at him
“Everything is fine!” You lie
Izuku frowns, “what’s wrong?”
You sniff before answering
“Its- my dads birthday is almost here and I wanted to write him a letter, but I can’t seem to finish it” You give him a weak smile.
He approaches you and leans over your shoulder to read it but finds himself confused at the writing
“It’s in Spanish” you explain, “I, I always write him a birthday card... but this time, I can’t bring myself to finish it..”
Izuku frowns, he hates seeing you sad and hugs you.
You hug him back letting your tears fall, “I miss him so much... He may have left me at a young age, but I really miss him.”
Izuku fully understands how you feel and comforts you. “Come on, lets lay down and cuddle... You can write it later when you feel better”
You wipe your tears and follow him to your bed, “Thank you Izu.”
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Shoto
Shoto goes about 2 hours before he notices you aren’t with the others in the common room.
Don’t blame him, he isn’t always aware of his surroundings
Anyways, He gets up to look for you and he finds you on your bed surrounded by crumpled up birthday cards.
He tries to remember who has a birthday but comes up blank
You look frustrated and about to cry as you try again to write to your father.
“Y/N, is everything okay?” Shoto asks
“Yeah! Everything is fine, I can’t fucking seem to know what to write to my dad. Everything is fine and dandy.” You say not meaning to be harsh
Shoto knows you are annoyed so he walks over, “How about I read it”
“I doubt you will understand it, it is in Spanish” You say gripping your pencil
Shoto remembers that you only speak Spanish with your parents.
“Right.” He says he sits beside you and you continue to write
After a while he hears a quiet sob and looks at you
You were trying to muffle your sob but was unsuccessful as Shoto pulls you in
“I, I just don’t understand why he chose work over me! His child. I want to hate him but I can’t. I can’t. Why, Shoto... Was work more important? Was I not good enough? I mean I was just a child...” You whimper into his shoulder.
Shoto understands, his own father didn’t even care about him, just his quirk.
He tightens his hug as he answers, “Nothing is wrong with you. You are the most important person to me. You are fucking good enough, Y/N. Don’t you ever forget that.” He says, “It’s okay if you can’t think of something now, you can finish writing it when you feel better.”
You nod and hold him close, “Thank you. Thank you for being here for me Sho.”
Shoto just holds you closer, “Never forget, I will never leave your side, Y/N”
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Katsuki
Bakugo instantly knows something is wrong when the moment he exits the elevator to the common room, Your laughter is not present, He instantly turns around and gets back on the elevator heading to your room
He approaches your room quietly when he hears annoyed mumbling
Alert ready to blast someone he stays outside
Hates to admit it, but he is always hyper aware of your presence and seeks out your presence when he cant find it
He pushes the door open and you look up from the floor and stop your writing
“What’s going on?” He asks in his usual aggressive tone
You look up with tears forming, “nothing.”
He instantly feels bad, “Why are you about to cry?”
You grip the card and don’t answer.
“Answer me, Y/N.”
You look at him as a tear falls, “I’m writing a birthday card to my father.”
“That’s it? Really? I doubt writing him a letter is supposed to have you this worked up.”
You glare, “It is if he fucking left you at a young age.”
Bakugo regrets his words and approaches you to hug you, “I’m sorry... I didn’t know”
You sniff, “Its fine. I just want to get this over with.”
You look down at the paper and remember that day he left. You look up at him with tears as he walks away from your life not looking back once.
“I dont even know why I continue to write to him. I know he cares but it just hurts remembering how he left me every fucking year.”
Bakugo not knowing how to answer just pulls you into a bear hug
“Can I read the letter?” Bakugo finally asks
“You won’t be able to understand it, because it is in Spanish. But I can read it to you.”
“No that’s fine.” Bakugo tells you and encourages you to finish the card so you can send it as soon as possible.
Later in the day you both are in the common room, “Y/N?”
“Yes Bakugo?”
“I hope you know, and I hope you never think I will ever leave you. I will stay by you side as long as you want me to.”
You smile and hug him, “ Same with me, I will be by your side.”
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MASTERLIST
A/N- I hope you like it! I relate to your story a bit, except my dad is a workaholic but lives with me. Heh, he may live with me but he acts like I don’t exist, yet expects way to much from me. So, I did tear up a bit reading your request as well as writing it :)
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animesmutfest · 3 years
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Hawks x Reader
You look at the clock in disbelief as the hand strikes twelve. You sat on the couch drinking wine with tears running down your face. Your husband is no where to be found. Again. Its your fourth anniversary and he has not been home at all today. Suddenly you hear the door unlock but you don't even look your just take another sip of your wine. You could tell he was at least tipsy as he stumbles in the house. He looks over to you and see your cup and tear streaked face. Walking closer he realized you’re dressed up and a card lays on the cushion next to her reading happy anniversary. Before he could even speak you start. "Two years. You haven't been here for an event for two years. You've missed even our own daughters birthdays." You say seething with anger. "Y/n listen" he starts. "You know what Kiego?! You can go fuck yourself! Get the hell out!" You scream at hawks throwing his jacket and shoes at him. "Come on Y/N do you really want to end things like this? Please don't give up on me!" He says pleading. "You have missed every single family event the past two years. If you want to drown in a bottle or use work as an excuse, me and our daughter deserve better than that!" You scream while crying. hawks now crying as well sinks to the floor realizing that you wear right. Every single family event for the past two years he has either been working or drinking. "Ill stop drinking babe! I wont ever drink again if that's what you want!" He cries. "I don't want you to do anything but be the man i thought i married. But i cant even trust you to do that considering you're never here" you shout. "Okay y/n ill leave. But i promise you I'm going to do better from here on!" He says walking out the door.you close it behind him and sink to the bottom balling your eyes out. His heart breaks as he hears your cries, the cries that he caused.
He gets in his car and drives to a hotel to give you space. At the hotel he cry's into his bottle of jack thinking about the facts and the facts are her has not been there for his own family. His two year older daughter ember is 3 and he hasn't been to her 2nd or 3rd birthday parties. He's always just told y/n something came up. "I really am a pathetic excuse of a man. My wife is perfect and my daughter is my pride and joy but I still do shit like this. I'm never fucking around when I need to be" he says crying harder. Back at the house y/n pretty much cried herself to sleep. The next day you send him a text telling him to stay away until he can prove to his family that we come first. He gave a simple okay response. You spend the day with ember playing with her and cooking dinner for her. Once you put ember to bed you head to your own room. You lay in bed with no one beside you and the loneliness makes you cry again. "I just wish he was here" you say as you drift asleep.
Six months later:
A few months ago I was strong enough to invite him over for dinner. Ember was with her grand parents as to not be involved in our issues. We made a deal that he would stay at a hotel and every weekend he can come over for dinner. So far he has made more time for our family than he ever has. He even has a glow on him now that he isn't drinking. That's right, he stopped drinking after that night. And tonight after six long and lonely months you really wanted him back home. He invited you out on a date at a nice restaurant and your mom offered to keep ember. You hear the doorbell ring as you make your way down stairs. He's wears a nice pair of pants and a button down. And this is what you have on with your hair in a pony tail.
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"Wow... you look stunning babe" he says blushing. "Thank you kiego" you say blushing as well. You both leave and head to the restaurant. Once you are there the staff seat you and bring a bottle of wine. "Oh sir I don't drink thank you though" he says pushing the bottle away. "You sure you don't want any?" You asks. "No love I'm good you enjoy yourself" he says smiling. Impressed you start talking to him about how he's been and how work is. Come to think of it you haven't seen him even look at a drop of alcohol since that night. After a while he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes. "I miss you y/n and I miss ember" he says kissing your hand gently. "We miss you too kiego" you say softly. "I've been thinking a lot and would it be too forward of me to ask if I could stay over tonight?" He asks putting his head down a bit waiting to be rejected again. You have seen his efforts and he really has gotten better. Plus I really do miss him. You think to yourself blushing a bit. "You can come home kiego" you say shyly. His face lit up and he rested his forehead on your hand in relief. "Thank god..." he says as a single tear falls down his face. "C-can I kiss you y/n?" He asks. You grab his blazer and your lips crash onto each other's. You pull away blushing and ask him to take them home. He happily complies and after paying they head home.
As soon as they open the door you pull him into another kiss but this one more aggressive. His wings puff up a bit as things heat up. He takes his blazer off and pulls you close to him deepening your kiss. He pushed your back against the wall sliding his hand up your dress and grabbing your ass. You moans into the kiss at his touch and his mouth slowly moved down to your jawline then neck. Your moans are light as your hands rubs on his arms. "Can I please take you baby? It's been so long and I think I might lose my mind." He asks desperately. "Please kiego" you moan. He picks your up with your legs around his waist and walks you upstairs to the bedroom. He kicks open the door and places you on the bed with him between your legs. His mouth attacking your neck desperately searching for your voice. As your hands feel all over one another his head trails down to your panties and he licks your clit through the fabric making your body tingle a bit. "Don't tease me baby... please, I really need it" you say squirming. He smirks "As you wish baby" and slides your panties to the side and he begins to devour you. "Fuck~!” You moan as you tug on his hair a bit from the pleasure but also trying to show resistance. You use your hand to muffle your moans but this made him stop completely. He looks up at you with feral eyes. "I haven't touched you in over 6 months baby... move that fucking hand and let me hear you." He growls at you. His eyes even looked different as if he was truly an animal And you were his prey. You do as your told and slowly move your hand. He wastes no time going back to his meal. His hands now gripping your thighs to keep you in place as he slides his tongue inside you. "K-kiego ngh yes baby~" you moan loudly  as you squirm under him.
He repeatedly moves his muscle in that motion and slurping you up as he pulled out. "I fucking missed you dove... your taste is even more delicious" he groans as he gently sucks on your clit. Your hips buck into his mouth as pleasure consumes you making you feel like melting into him. Minutes went by like this as you’re edged closer and closer. His mouth creating lewd noises as you gush over and over again. But soon to feel a tremendous pressure in the pit of your soul. Your moans slowly becoming whimpers. "I can feel it baby... cum for me dove" he groans as he laps at your throbbing pussy. Your breathing becoming quite heavy as he worked for your juices. "I-I I'm cumming  ki- fuuuck" you moan wildly as he laps up your cum faster than it can come out of you. He suddenly takes one of his feathers making it sharp and cuts off both of your clothes before he lines himself up with your pussy. He shoves himself completely inside you unexpectedly causing you to cum again. Your mind melting as you clentch hard around him. He looks at you and leans down to your face. "Did my baby just cum from me putting it in?" He smirks. You nod shaking as your hands wrap around his neck. Without another word you kiss him deeply as he starts thrusting into your tight pussy. "I-I'm so sorry baby I can't control myself" he growls as he then pulls out of you and aggressively flips you on all fours and shoving himself back into you. You cry out in pleasure as he pounds into you at inhumane speeds. His hand digging into your hip and the other gripping your arm behind your back. You feel another climax close as your skin collides over and over again.
Feeling you grip him tighter he slows down a bit but slams into you as hard as he can again and again. "Yes! Yes! Yes baby aaahhh Break me!!!!" You cry out and after a few thrusts like that you begin to squirt all over the bed. He stops amazed at what just happened. "Damn baby... I didn't know you could do that" he says blushing. You couldn't speak just moan and pant. "Let's try that again shall we?" Flipping you on you back and lifting your hips to meet his while you upper body still on the bed. "This time I wanna see it" he says licking his lips. He slides back in and goes at it like he never left. He loved the way you looked right now. Feral and completely destroyed because of him. He drools at the sight of your wet pussy being filled by him, by the way your breasts bounced harshly because of his thrusting. Your completely a mess under him barely being about to say anything besides incoherent words and whimpers. Soon you feel that strange sensation again as you neared another orgasm. "Ki! Aahh daddy~" you cry out as you grip his thighs. "Do it baby!" He moans and with that you being to squirt all over his lower stomach, cock and legs. This time much more intense as your mind went hazy for a few moments. He doesn't stop though and thrusts into a few more times before slowing down and running his hand on your stomach. "I think it's time we gave ember a sibling~" he moans. Your eyes weakly looked at his and all you could do was smile. He thrusts into you one final time as his shoots his cum deep in your womb. "God b-baby you feels so good" he moans as his cock twitches inside your throbbing pussy. You both catch your breath before cleaning up the bed and yourselves before falling asleep.
The next morning the sun beams through the room as you wake up. Kiego sleeping peacefully next to you. You kept thinking about last night blushing from what he said about giving ember a sibling. "Well if that's true then maybe I should help him out achieving that goal" you think to yourself smirking. You knew he was a heavy sleeper so you crawl between his legs and slipped his boxers off. You grab his already hard cock and slowly pump him causing his muscles to jump a bit. After a few pumps you slowly lick around the tip and suck on it softly. He moans in his sleep and his breathing pattern become irregular. You then smirk and shove him completely in your throat quickly and wastes not a moment deep throating him. He wakes up moaning loudly pulling back the blanket staring at you with a red face. "B-baby what ahh~" his moans not allowing him to speak properly. You ignore him and climb on top slowly sinking yourself down on him. His head falling back into the bed from the pleasure. You roll your hips into his instead of bouncing making both of you moan aloud. You pull him back up and wrap your hands around his neck while he’s gripping your waist. His mouth sucking on your neck harshly leaving marks everywhere his tongue danced. "I'm so close baby~" he moans into you and he thrusts into you. You throw your body back and grip his thighs as you bounce on his cock forcing your skin to slap against his own.
His grip tightens as he nears his climax. Your pace quickens as you chase your own climax as well. "Feels s-so good daddy~" you moan into the air as you clench around him. "Shit dove I-I'm gunna cum" he moans as sweat beads on his forehead. "Fill me up d-daddy. I want it deep inside~" you moan as you cum hard on his cock. He fucks you back harder and soon after he feels himself about to cum. "Fuck yes baby! Mmmmph shiiit~" he growls as his cum fills you deep. You lean forward keeping him inside you and kiss him passionately. He grabs the back of your head deepening the kiss slipping his tongue in. He pulls back and looks into your wild eyes panting. "What's gotten into you?" He says. "You said you wanted to give ember a sibling so I thought I'd help you out" you say smirking. He laughs a bit before kissing you again. "Then let's spend the day making sure we achieve that goal. What do you say love?" He says as he gets hard again still inside you making you moan. "Yes daddy" you say.
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dokifluffs · 4 years
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thank you for the happiest years of my life
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warning: *spoilers to like parts of basically the entire show and manga but also mostly crack. soo you have been warned* also warning, l o n g
thank you hinata for your toilet song and your sunshine persona, never giving up and also all your bowel issues getting you in the most uncomfy situations with other teams, for being the greatest decoy thank you kageyama for your jingru bell, jingru bell and all your hinata boke’s, milk breaks, and probably deformation of hinata’s skull from how many times you grabbed it thank you tsuki for your arara gomen and being tol boi #1with great character development but also staying the sassiest one omfg thank you yamagucci for your gomen, tsukki and being tol boi #2 with superb confidence building thank you yachi for being the best townsperson B thank you tanaka for killing dadchi. Tanaka, nice kill! and being literally one of the best characters thank you noya for your rolling thundas and being the coolest senpai and being karasuno’s guardian and also choosing to come to karasuno simply because you liked the girls’ uniforms thank you ennoshita for being best dad #2 and tutoring tanaka and noya thank you kinoshita and narita for existing even tho you two are the most slept on akjhdkad thank you suga for being the best mom and also singing under the sea  thank you asahi for being unintentionally scary and dressing up as jesus evry year for karasuno christmas  thank you kiyoko for always looking out for karasuno  thank you dadchi- deadchi- daichi for being best dad #1 thank you takeda for being the teacher sponsor of the club and having the best quotes out there homie, you really big brain thank you ukai junior for reminding the crows that volleyball is a game where you look up 
Thank you Karasuno, for teaching me to fly
thank you oikawa for teaching me that instinct is something you polish, talent is something you bloom. also for all your yoho, tobio chan’s and milk bread being your favorite food, for hitting it till it breaks. you were always enough and i wish we could’ve seen you bring your team to nationals. hope your knee gets soon buddy thank you iwa for always calling oikawa shittykawa and etc. best bestie out there and also, you did your best. you are not a failure as an ace for aoba johsai. also thank you for making sure oikawa rested  thank you mattsun and makki for being such an iconic duo  thank you kunimi for sticking out your tongue in season 4  thank you kindaichi for being onion head and having a great character development thank you kyotani for making me intimidated of an anime character like bruh. homie, your back said “C”-  thank you yahaba for being best setter #2 tehe and also putting kyotani in his place  thank you watari for being Aoba johsai’s guardian and being tanaka written in cursive thank you yuda, sawauchi, and shido even if i didnt pay you any attention adkjah im sorry 
thank you Aoba Johsai for teaching me how to rule the court 
thank you kuroo for your hyena laugh, befriending kenma when you moved in next door, and being literally everything  thank you kenma for being best pudding head and being the best sugar daddy after the time skip to our hina baby  thank you lev for being long boi and having one of the best glow ups in s4 like literally scrumptious. Cant want to see your time skip animated and also, you’re gonna be a great nekoma ace one day bb  thank you yaku for being literally the best libero im sorry noya kajdhas omg akjda goals and also putting lev in his place  thank you shibayama for stepping in as libero when yaku got hurt in land vs. sky you did great bb  thank you yamamoto for being tanaka written in magnum sharpie, punk font and getting into a dispute with Tanaka on S I T E thank you teshiro for being best setter #2 uwu  thank you kai for being one of many underrated characters that should’ve gotten more  thank you teshiro for looking the most like a cat and being a pinch server thank you inuoka for being a lil sunshine too 
thank you Nekoma for teaching me how to connect
thank you bokuto for serving all of us your juicy a$$ but also being the best hype boi out there, capable of being so strong and proving to be so much stronger by growing out of your emo modes, for making akaashi choose to come to fukurodani thank you akaashi for playing with your fingers, for always looking out for bokuto, teaching all of us that we are the protagonists of the world, having a list of his weaknesses memorized thank you konoha for doing what we all wanna do and knee bokuto’s voluptuous ass thank you waisho for being like a normal lookin type bokuto  thank you sarukui, anahori, komi, and onaga for being part of this great team and also boosting bokuto up
thank you fukrodani for teaching me how to pour my soul into everything (every ball) 
thank you ushijima for teaching me how to harvest and farm for the ripest of fruits thank you tendo for BAKI BAKI NI ORAE NANI WO and being a weeb too. you were never a monster as a child or ever in your life  thank you goshiki for being female jirou from my hero academia and also realizing how much you need to improve at the end of s3. made me cry man  thank you semi for being suga in punk rock font  thank you reon for being you cause you rock homie. you and kai would so vibe together man. good vibes all around thank you soekawa, yunohama, kawanishi, and sagae for existing even though yall were slept on thank you yamagata and akakura for having shiratorizawa’s back’s as liberos thank you shirabu for using ushijima to your disposal like he wished. you gon be a great doctor bb
thank you shiratorizawa for teaching me how to have an intense force to my persona thank you aone for being the best iron wall and having the cutest friendship with hinata like omg his current fear is no one wanting to sit near him on the metro akdjhahds i’ll sit with you  thank you koganegawa for being the best angry bird bb  thank you Futakuchi for getting knocked over when you chest bumped aone  thank you obara, onagawa, and fukiage for existinggg thank you sakunami for having Dateko’s backs 
thank you dateko student section for making the most iconic cheer out of the entire show that’ll never die also, check out the live action stage ones akjdhas nekoma is stuck in my head 
thank you dateko for having the best cheer in the show 
thank you saeko nee-san for being the best tokyo drift driver out there with your Taiko team and being the best leader leading the karasuno cheers for da bois thank you karasuno’s voice principal for not expelling our two celled boyos, kageyama and hinata   thank you third gym for all the oya oya’s  thank you bokuto for hooking tsuki onto volleyball when he blocked ushi  thank you takeda for scaring ukai junior in season 1 when he repeatedly went back to beg him to be the coach for karasuno, begging to so many coaches and making sure they could have practice matches with other schools thank you to hinata’s tennis friend who taught him how to splatter step(?) thank you ukai senior for teaching them about the tempos thank you to the old guy that goes to every karasuno game even tho literally no one knows him bruh  thank you to Shimada for teaching our bb boi yams to float serve thank you for the twins and sakusa and so many more teams  thank you for bringing us to brazil with hinata, reuniting him and oikawa  thank you for all the commercial breaks  thank you for all the memes aka haikyuu dubbed thank you for all the radio shows with characters we may never get to see on the screen together thank you tsukki for pressing hinata’s diahrea spot thank you for dub yams’ he he he waluigi laugh thank you hinata for inspiring asahi to join the team again thank you kageyama for probably breaking hinata’s back so many times by kicking him  thank you asahi for calling out to suga  thank you kageyama for scaring the living shit out of hinata when he hit you in the back of the head with his rushed serve in season 1 in the practice match against aoba johsai thank you for all the meat buns eaten after practice, the popsicles nishinoya ate in two bites thank you noya for all the epic saves and pancakes you dove for  thank you for kageyama’s “nuff, nis, niceu-” to tsukki  thank you for tanaka and noya and yamamoto for all women are queens club  thank you suguru for getting under kuroo’s skin and making him petty asf in land vs sky  thank you alisa for being literally breathing, you and lev look so goodd post time skip like haiba sibs rule the world thank you tv that hinata had happened to be passing by, playing the game with the little giant, inspiring him to go to karasuno  thank you kageyama’s grandpa for getting him into volleyball 🥺 thank you for all the races while running, all the flying receive laps, the hill runs, the training camps, practice matches thank you for all the disputes that could happen before all the gears could be made and put into place  thank you kiyoko for saying that tanaka for some reason looks good with a banana thank you for the meat god dance, the serve cheer poses  thank you for making me love volleyball tenfold thank you for moi pon  thank you kageyama for telling hinata that he’s the greatest when he’s around, giving him his first official toss thank you hinata for telling kageyama that he sets just fine
thank you to all the voice actors for starting and staying through all the years to bring all our favorites to life, never failing us once
thank you spyair, burnout syndromes, tacica, nico touches the walls, sukima switch, galileo galilei, and more for so many amazing ops and eps
thank you for all the memories, all the laughs, cheers, heart racing moments, the moments that made us grip onto pillows, the edge of our seats, tears, addicting chants, making me simp for like 50 people, making my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, my voice raspy for cheering and screaming so much. 
thank you to this fandom for being like a second family, sharing all our love and crackheadedness 
thank you for the happiest years of my life
thank you haikyuu, thank you Furudate for bringing this amazing story to all of us and touching our lives with it 
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calpops · 4 years
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sweet meetings | m.c.
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Anonymous: eve!!! i can't stop thinking about baker!michael it is SO soft my heart!! imagine you work at cal and ash's record store, mainly on the weekends but sometimes during the week, bc you're studying, and at first you go into the bakery for a coffee and a quick bite to eat before shifts but when you notice how cosy it is you think it might be a great place to study, not to mention there's a really cute guy working there, n mike of course takes notice of you, at first u share simple pleasantries but the more u come in the faster it evolves into easy banter, soft laughter and shared smiles, he knows how u take ur coffee and why u prefer the blueberry muffins over the apple cinnamon and when you start coming to study, bag overflowing w books and a battered laptop, mike can’t help but watch u in the quiet moments, eyes focused on ur work n fingers carefully pulling off pieces of ur muffin and one day he works up the nerve to sit w you on his break, coming over w a nervous smile but you’re so happy n surprised, unsure if he saw anything more than a regular who he got on well with!! now it seems all the soft smiles n lingering gazes n times ur fingers brushed when he handed you ur food before work have evolved into something more!! so this becomes a regular occurrence for the two of u and wow i don’t know this could go on forever because i am so so so soft for michael look what u have done to me eve!!!!! i cant even be mad cuz ily
I went a little overboard with this and added some concepts. Hope that’s okay!
Word count: 2k
***
You often find yourself in a rush. Never having enough time between working at a record shop, doing classes online and living the rest of your life to stop and enjoy moments for what they’re really worth. Rushing is a habit for you; second nature and easy. You realize it’s too easy, that time slips past you and hurtles on whether you’re aware of it or not. Your life is a whirlwind and you’re determined to enjoy the breeze once and a while. With this realization and determination you stop. Stop running from place to place and take your time. Take time for yourself. It’s a mild morning when you slowly stroll up to the bakery across from the record shop. Your boss Ashton always raves about the iced coffee and Calum has found more than just the treats to be sweet. It’s calm inside, the morning rush over—a sweet spot of time in between morning coffee needs and lunchtime cravings. It’s quaint and quiet and a complete contrast to the way you usually live your life.
There’s no line when you walk in. Desserts and pastries of all kinds sit behind glass and a handwritten menu board dominates the wall above. It’s written in white chalk with special menu items erased and rewritten likely by the day. Everything looks delectable and you’re glad to have taken some time to come inside. A swinging door to the back—probably leading to the kitchen—opens as the front door behind you shuts. A man around your age comes through, his blonde hair tucked under a black cap and the black apron around his waist dusted with patches of white flour. The name tag on his apron says Michael, well, the el is smudged with some ingredient that obscures part of the letters but you surmise Michael must be what’s hidden underneath. You haven’t made up your mind by the time he asks for your order and you’re slightly taken aback at his soft voice and meeting his gentle green eyes.
You stumble over your words a bit when usually you’d be in a hurry to get them out. You finally decide. “A blueberry muffin, please.”
You see a tilt of a smile as he looks down to the baked goods below and comes back with your order; wraps it in a thin sheet of paper and asks if it’s for here or to go. You notice the tables by the windows, each one with a vase of flowers and natural sunlight. Some have chairs with comfortable cushions and the others have booth seats that seem inviting. The bag on your shoulder is heavy; filled with your academics. The tables seem a nice place to study. In your determination to enjoy the breeze you choose to stay. You tell him it’s for here and pay and try not to think about the brush of your fingers against his when he hands the muffin over.
You find a home at a booth, bag resting on the seat beside you as you take a moment to savor the burst of blueberry and sugar on the top of your tongue. You decide in that moment that slowing down and taking your time is worth every second spent. You face toward the counter and kitchen door, opting to face away from the street where a busy city lurks beyond. A sense of calm clings to you as you finish the baked good and decide to stay a while longer—wanting to try the iced coffee Ashton raves about and settle in to pace yourself on work stacked in your bag. You find solace in the quiet yet a nervous energy settles and sparks in you any time Michael makes his way out of the kitchen as a few customers come and go. By the time you’re ready to leave you catch eyes with him one more time and he waves, a small smile giving you a goodbye and a reason to come back the next day.
And so the bakery becomes a new habit—the best way to break one is to replace it with another. Rushing melts away and the bakery becomes a beacon of downtime. Michael becomes a person you look forward to seeing. In a sense he becomes routine. Just as easy as rushing. You always exchange glances when he peeks out from the kitchen to inspect the run of the bakery. He usually blushes when you catch gazes, cheeks going rosy and a timid smile capturing his features. You see the smile in his eyes, green glinting and glimmering with a bashfulness that endears and intrigues you. There’s a lot you wish to know about Michael.
He knows enough about you through your interactions. How you take your coffee, that you prefer hot chocolate to it but need the caffeine to keep you going. Why blueberry anything is the superior choice. He’s even asked about your work and classes, about the books you seem to carry with you all the time. He’s eyes are observant and his mind has flawlessly put together small pieces of you. Weeks pass in a hazy blur as you learn to slow down and spend more and more time at the bakery. Breaks from work lead you there. Mornings before and nights after usually have you stopping in.
There’s an air of mystery and elusiveness that follows the baker. What you know is minimal and trivial, even as the weeks pass and more than simple hello’s and please and thank you’s become exchanged. He seems guarded and you have no reason as to why that might be so. But you find yourself coming back consistently. Now a regular that walks in and is recognized by any and all staff. You sit in your usual booth and after catching gazes with Michael multiple times you wonder if the stirring of feelings that have made way into you are completely one sided. Maybe all he sees in you is a customer. Maybe it is purely business for him. Maybe slowing down has put a hazy sheen on reality when you’re so used to fast paces.
Your pencil taps along a text book page as your thoughts consume you, eyes glued to the menu board and teeth sunken into your lower lip. It isn’t until a small voice from below breaks through your reverie that you find familiar eyes. Gentle green stares up at you behind a mess of blond hair. A boy not but three or four reaches up, a small muffin in his clutches. It takes a moment for you to realize he’s offering the baked good to you. As soon as you reach for it Michael is bursting through the kitchen door and racing over to the child, scooping him up and trying his best to apologize and inform you that wasn’t supposed to be for a customer, just practice for his son.
In one snap moment all the haze clears but new questions take hold of your mind. You realize why he’s so guarded but have to question if there’s a reason he never told you. You realize it doesn’t matter for the moment. Not when a child’s innocent eyes are pinned on you; awaiting a reaction to the muffin still in your loose grip. You know Michael said it’s not meant for you but the look in his son’s eyes clearly says that it is. You take a small bite and grin, compliment the good work and hear Michael sigh in relief as he sets his son back down.
“Blueberry’s your favorite right? That’s what dad says.”
You nod and feel a rush of warmth at the question and the fact that Michael has spoken of you in any capacity to his son.
“Riley, bud—why don’t you go behind the counter. There’s some cookies you can have,” Michael suggests with a blush that also suggests his embarrassment at the situation. Riley takes off and Michael calls after him. “Only two!”
Michael turns back to you with anxiety written clearly across his face. His hands wring at each other and his eyes flicker to the booth seat opposite you. You motion for him to sit; curious what he might say.
“I’m sorry about all of that; he’s usually pretty good at sticking with me. He’s just a little excited today,” Michael explains and you arch an eyebrow.
You close your textbook, the prospect of studying blown out the window in a new whirlwind created by a four year old. You can feel your heart beating fast and hard in your chest. You never expected Michael to have a kid.
Michael goes on to explain and settle the nerves that seem to have exploded through you. “I usually only get him on the weekends and in summer. But his mom’s on her honeymoon and I get him for a whole week. He loves the bakery; getting to come with me every day has gotten him a bit unruly. All the sugar...” Michael says with a pointed look at the counter where another worker stands while Riley sits and eats his allotted two cookies.
Michael keeps explaining and it’s as if whatever guards he had up come crashing down. He tells you all about Riley and co-parenting. That he and the bakery take up most of his time and you realize that maybe he was living in a rush and whirlwind too. And by the way his eyes stay on yours and hands fidget on the tabletop you wonder if he doesn’t just see you as a customer and that’s why he stayed guarded for so long. To protect his whirlwind and everything within it; mostly Riley. You understand his reason as he comes barreling back to Michael, coloring books and a pack of crayons in hand.
“Can I color here?” He asks and climbs up into the booth and clears Michael’s lap to settle by the wall before an answer can be formed.
You grin and try your best to bite back a laugh as Michael tries to reason with him and tell him he shouldn’t disturb anyone. Riley merely blinks and looks to you to see if it’s okay. You nod your approval and enjoy your time with Michael and Riley. You’re in no rush to leave; wanting to use any time with them to the fullest.
A new routine forms throughout the week. It’s much of the same but with company. You sit in your usual booth and Riley sits opposite you. Textbooks and coloring books, graphite pencils and crayons spilled among the shared table. Michael often checks on Riley. And from that he ends up spending time with you. Everyday you learn more about them. Everyday your whirlwinds become more and more intertwined. Riley sometimes draws you pictures, the one of Michael with hands three times the size of his head and two left feet being your favorite. Riley mirrors Michael in a lot of ways you come to realize; the same laugh and sincerity in green eyes.
By the end of the week you realize Riley won’t be there come Monday and know that you’ll miss his company and the excuse for Michael to constantly check in. It’s just as you’re about to leave that Michael stops you, a sheepish expression and rosy cheeks, nervous hands and Riley by his side.
“We uh—“ Michael starts, clearly anxious. “We wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner with us tonight?”
Your stomach flutters and heart races at the invitation. But Michael’s continuing on before you can say yes.
“And lunch, with me… tomorrow?”
You break out into a grin and nod enthusiastically; ever grateful for sweet meetings with blueberry muffins and time taken to enjoy the breeze. 
You can already feel Michael’s whirlwind sweeping you off your feet.
***
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mousehole5000 · 3 years
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tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...
okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....
honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)
mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh
“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood
“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!
“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you
okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.
BOOK 4!!!! im scared
“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(
“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad
wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...
“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping
i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......
“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious
i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....
“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!
“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts
“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind
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but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....
“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” -  i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol
“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad
oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day
“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all
god..... this is just... a sad time....
“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it
white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...
“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;
“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc
“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin
“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!
the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!
“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going
“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry
“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............
“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is
“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child
“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with
“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF
okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now
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agemstale · 3 years
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May 25th 1995
This was the first day that Pearl and Amethyst felt comfortable enough to let Opal play with the other kids out in the yard. Still such a tiny fragile child but has gotten stronger and feisty over the years watching the others play from her bedroom window. Her parents opened the back door for her and she took her first step onto the back porch. Opal tightened the grip on her favorite toy dow that she took with her everywhere, the sunlight blinded her for a moment. She took in the moment to listen to the others wrestling and playing on the swing set. Then when Opal opened her eyes again, her best friend Garnet stood before her. 
"OPAL!" Garnet yelled, holding Opal's hands. 
Garnet was a messy afro hair tot with tights and a ragged skirt from wrestling with Opals elder brother Sugilite and their friend Malachite. Her shirt was already covered in dirt though just arriving so her parents Ruby and Sapphire could head to work. 
"Garnet!" Opal yelled back, then hugged her tightly. 
Pearl kneeled down to garnet and said, "Now don't get Opal into any of your rough housing, she still a tiny lil thing and i don't want her getting hurt." 
"Yes sir." Garnet replied before pulling Opal away out into the yard.
"GARNET! HELP GET THIS DUMB BOULDER OFF OF ME!" Sugilite yelled as he was being tackled down by Malachite. 
Malachite holds Sugilite's face into the ground with his foot then pins him down, "Don't be such a wimp. If you didn't want to get your butt kicked, you shouldn't have started it!"
Garnet then steps into the fight and broke them apart, "Both of you are stupid boulders, cant you see we have a new friend today?!" 
The two boys turned their attention to Opal as she nervously waved. 
"Who are you?" Malachite snared. 
"That's my sister, Opal you ignoramus!" Sugilite snared back. 
"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WORD MEANS!" Malachite refocused his anger back on sugilite. 
"OH YA! WELL, NEITHER DO YOU!" sugilite snapped trying to charge at Malachite. 
"BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!" garnet finally pushed them apart. 
The two boys fall onto their butts knowing who the clear winner of the fight is. 
"Maly! You go chill with Opal. Sugy your with me." Garnet ordered. 
"Fine! You win gar." Malachite stood up and brushed himself off. 
"Next time ill defeat you both in a fight." Sugilite declared as he stood up and was pushed away by garnet.
"Ya, ya. You say that every time" Garnet replies.
Malachite then turns to Opal with his hands behind his head, "So why havn't I see you around if you live here."
"My dad told me I'm too small and fragile to play with you guys." She replies then thinks to her self, "I can see why."
"Well if you can't fight. What can you do?" Malachite questioned. 
"I can't still play tag!" Opal excitedly proclaimed. 
"Fine, you can be chaser then. GET ME IF YOU CAN!" Malachite shouted as he raced off. 
Opal chases after him as fast as she could, testing her skills as he dodges and weaves her passes. She runs at him again but then she sees a butterfly beneath her feet. she slips and falls onto her left arm.
SNAP!
the sharp sound pierces everyone's ears.
Garnet pauses in shock then runs to Opals side.
Lapis and pearl see this and rush out into the yard and separate the kids. Lapis tightly holds on to her own child "IM SO SORRY!" 
"I new it was too soon to let her play with the others." Soon pearl realizes the issue and rushes Opal to the hospital.
Lapis and Amethyst set Malachite and Sugilite down and explain to them what has happened and why they need to be more careful around opal. 
Lapis takes Malachite home.
May 26th, 1995
"It's time for school!" Lapis yells to malachite to get up. 
Malachite stumbles out of his bedroom and into his mother's bedroom then asks, "hey mom? Can I stay home today?" 
As Lapis was just finishing getting dressed, she then turns to her son, "what! Why? Are you sick?"
"Because I wanna see if opal is okay." He replies.
Lapis sighs, "You can see her when you get home AFTER school." 
Malachite yell "BUT MOM?!"
Lapis snaps back, "I SAID NO! NOW COME ON AND GET DRESSED, we already slept in too late. "
Malachite huffs and heads back into his bedroom.
When they start to leave, he grabs his backpack as he heads out the door with his mother. He tosses his backpack in then gets in himself, as Lapis gets in and lays her own school bag into the passenger sit, se looks back to her son through the rearview mirror.
Malachite disappointedly looks out his window, thinking of how he could make things right with Opal.
Lapis drives Malachite down to the bus stop, "now please be good. And have a good day... I love you." 
Malachite says as he is leaving the car, "I love you to." 
Lapis rushes off to try and make it in time for her own classes. As soon as her car is out of sight, Malachite runs back towards home. 
He runs up to their apartment and tosses his back pack on to the floor. Then goes to his room and smashes open his piggy bank then scrapes up his savings and leaves again. 
He walks through town to a flower shop, buys a dozen tiger lilies and then heads to Opal's house. 
As soon as he reaches their door he beats it trying to get someone to answer. 
Amethyst opens the door with a yawn. "Oh hey kid, aren't you suppose to be in school?" 
"Yes ma'am" he replies, "but I wanted to bring opal a gift to say I'm sorry for what happened." Showing the flowers. 
Amethyst takes them and says, "Thanks, but she is fine. It's only a broken arm." She smiles rubbing the back of her head. "But now you should be getting to school. Do you want me to drive you?" 
Malachite replies, "No, I was hoping to see her as well. MA'AM!" 
"What's with the formality?" Amethyst asks.
"My mom said it helps to be nice and use formal words to get the things you want." Malachite says nervously.
Amethyst laughs, "Well I guess it wouldn't hurt if you stayed. She is up in her room first door to the right."
 Malachite quickly hugs Amethyst then soon rushes up the stairs into Opal's bedroom. 
He finds Opal is still asleep, so he pulls up a chair next to her. Amethyst later walks in with a vase with the tiger lilies and clear water in it. He sets it by opals window. Then leaves. 
Time goes by as Malachite awaits for her to wake up contemplating what he will even say to her. 
Soon its noon, Amethyst walks in with 2 plates of food and sets them next to Malachite on the desk behind him. 
Malachite, "Is it lunch time already?" 
Amethyst replies "yep" as she gently nudges opal. "Honey, it's time to wake up." 
Malachite freaks out and silently yells "NO IM NOT READY, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO SAY TO HER!" 
Opal sits up and yawns, "good morning mama" she rubs her eyes then looks to Malachite, "Oh?! Hey! You were that boy from yesterday." She smiles
Malachite blushes and turns away blushing, "I got you flowers."
This makes Malachite blush even more as opals eyes light up. "They are beautiful!"
Amethyst snickers, "Yes, he felt so bad, he even skipped school for you." then leaves. 
Opal: "THANK YOU MAMA! " 
They grad their respective plates and eat in silence. 
After Malachite finishes he says, "Well I guess you are okay, I'll just head home now." 
"You don't want to stay?" Opal sadly replies. 
"You want me to?" He says facing away from her.
"Well it dose get really lonely here sitting in my room all the time." Opal pleads. "Just promise you'll come see me again tomorrow okay?" 
Malachite turns to her face fully flushed "Why would you want me to stay? I'm the reason you got hurt!" 
"I.. I don't think you meant to break my arm. I am willing to give you another chance if you want. I don't really have many friends anyway so.. I'd like it if we could be friends."
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ftchai · 4 years
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[ jennie kim, cis female, twenty ] did you see CHARLIE 'CHAI' SONG ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it SHE/HER is usually FLEETING and DETACHED but is also known to be GIFTED and FERVID. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of a red solo cup brim's stained with lipstick, an electric guitar vibrating under your grip, hello kitty bandaids. maybe because they’re a PISCES. they’ve been living around here for ELEVEN YEARS. i wonder when they’ll make it out…
hi qts 💕  you can call me liv (she/her), i’m 21 and currently in the gmt+1 timezone, chai is a new muse of mine so this is bout to be a mess skjghskf just like this post and i’ll find my way to your dms or discord !
* STATS
full name: charlie song nicknames: chai (like the tea) age: 20 sexuality: pansexual, panromantic occupation: concession worker at the movie theatre / musician  place of birth: seoul, south korea
* BACKSTORY
charlie has lived in crawford ever since she was nine years old, she moved in from sk when her parents divorced and her mother decided to come to the states to live with her sister as she couldn’t afford much else besides the plane tickets. her mother has since remarried, giving chai and her older brother a younger brother; she might not say it out loud enough but she loves them deeply. because of this, although often she feels like there's something missing, she doesn’t consider her stepfather her dad and i wouldn't say she particularly misses her dad because she resents him, as he doesn't really do much to stay in touch with them. all in all i think she just been sweeping things under the rug for years and tries to think about everything else but her family issues ...
i think this is why she dives so deep into her other relationships, chai is kind of a ride or die to every single one of her friends. she's extremely loyal and will show up at someone's house at any time if they need her to be there. the thing is ... it takes a while to get close to her. despite her grunge exterior, the dyed hair, over sized tees, ripped mom jeans .... she's so shy ?? she just has a hard time talking to people and this happens for a few reasons ! because she’s timid chai often relied on drinks and drugs to set herself loose and make friends... while this did work, she also did things she wouldn’t ever do sober.. so being from a small town there’s these stories and rumors surrounding her from when she was in high school and how big of a party girl she is, which makes it so some people approach her with a set mindset. it’s a double edged sword, basically. she thinks people expect something different then what she really is so she doesn’t know how to act to begin with, often opting with keeping up the act instead of shedding light into her true colors.
very much suzy mae by beabadoobee’s !!!!
here’s more stuff i don’t know how to organize !!
she has recently moved out to be on her own for the first time !! it’s ... tiny .. (not to get ahead of myself but ooof i’d love a roommates connection :’( ) she works two jobs, she’s at the movie theatre doing shifts and she sometimes performs at restaurants in the area ! if i had to explain her singing it’d probably be somewhere between beabadoobee and clairo
if youre trying to find charlie she's mostly hanging around her guitars in her poster filled bedroom or skating downtown, flipping off cars that interrupt her mad skater skills (k*ll me) even though she totally shouldn't be in the middle of the road ....
music is kind of everything to chai. it's all she wants to do most of them time so she saved every dollar she found to be able to play both acoustic and eletric guitars, knows a few songs on her very old keyboard, and because she's broke that's pretty much it ... girl does be dreaming about drumming
a movie buff she loves shitty old horror movies and exclusively watches  old school anime, like cowboy beepop and evangelion, because the amount of new anime overwhelms her shfgfgd
she loves to party goes out every thursday through sunday lmao probably the only reason she doesn't pass out every time is because she's grown pretty resistant to alcohol and that's why she's moving on to molly and .... sighs
girl is also a chimney ....c all her out
* WANTED CONNECTIONS 
ex-boyfriend from before chai started experimenting with her sexuality, so they dated during high school ! it's been a while so i’d like it be that they're on good terms because they enjoy each other’s company so they often hangout together but sometimes the lines blur a litte ... if you get what i’m saying so they end up avoiding each other then some time passes and their at dunkin donuts again and it’s just a neverending cycle
a bandmate !! or at least someone she can jam out with, chai would probably be obsessed with them lol anyone she can talk about music with makes her heart sing let alone play together
ride or die ! not the will and jada kind please either they’ve been inseparable since they were kids or they met during their school years and just clicked so they went through years of friendship in like a few weeks if you know what i mean ? just always there for each other no matter what
her first girl crush ! like actual daydreaming about being with them kind of crush that made chai realize she’s just as much into girls as she’s into boys ! maybe something happened between them or not !
bad influence ! someone who shares her vices, pretty much they party a lot, get high together, maybe break some hearts and then get piercings and a slushie
roommates !! she’s broke and definitely cant afford her own apartment
co workers would be cute !
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joaquinwhorres · 6 years
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Dangerous (Steve Harrington x Mayfield!Reader)
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Summary: Ever since you were little, people tended to underestimate just how badass you were. You never expected that moving to Hawkins, Indiana would be the thing to convince people that you were more than just a pretty face. Read the sequel. And the final installment.
Request:hello lovely!! first off just wanted to say i love all your stories, they're so well written and just wonderful to read. i was wondering if u would pls be able to write a steve fic and the reader is max's older sister but she's super feminine and always wears really cool outfits that r a bit impractical and steve kind of undermines her because of that but she is actually such a badass and max tries to tell everyone but they dont rly buy it until she idk saves from a demogorgon or?? up to u xxx also ( i just sent u a request about a mayfield!reader) and the idea kind of came to me because i feel like often times badass and strong and independent female characters cant also be feminine and girly you know??? anyway feel free if u want to write it like obvs u dont have to (can u tell i have never requested a fic before lmao) to do whatever i trust u and ur capabilities haha xxxx
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Mayfield!Reader (Friends)
Word Count: 5,005
Author's Note:  This one stumped me. I can usually sit down and write in one or two sittings. But I kept coming back and chipping away at this one. Many thanks to @hargroovin for looking over this and making sure it was ready for posting. Hopefully, Sweet Requester, you like it.
Warnings: Language. Some minor violence at the end.
Whenever she was asked about her two daughters, your mother liked to launch into a pair of stories to describe you. At this point, it was almost a performance piece, what with the way she had nailed down the timing and the intonations and the facial expressions she would use at certain points. She had given the monologue so many times that you could clearly visualize it in your head, and pretty soon, you'd be able to take over for her.
She would start with a story about Max.
"Maxine is my youngest. You've probably seen her on her skateboard, zooming around town." (The skateboard was a relatively new addition to the story within the past four years. Before that it was roller skates, and before that she was simply running.)
"She's always been like that–always on the move, can't stay still for more than fifteen seconds. I swear," here your mother would lay a hand over her heart, "she goes by Max because she doesn't want to stick around long enough for the second half of her name." This would be followed by polite laughter and maybe some nodding. "You know, that reminds me of this one story. When Max was about seven and a half months old, she went missing. One morning I came into her room to check in on her since she had usually woken me up by then, and she was gone. I ran back to Jerry and woke him up in a panic, and he said that he had woken up in the middle of the night to check on her but he had put her back in the crib and she was fine. Anyway, we ran out into the hallway calling for her, hoping she would make some sound, and then all of the sudden we heard these little footsteps and I looked up to see Max toddling out of Y/N's room. Seven and a half month's old and she was walking! Independently!" There would be gasps here and some form of "No."
"I swear," your mother would hold up a hand. "She walked straight towards me and threw her little hands up at me to be picked up since I could walk much faster." She would drop her hand and lean back in her seat with a smile. "After that our house constantly looked as if it'd been hit by an earthquake." Your mother and the other person would laugh politely.
"Seems like you've got a little trouble maker on your hands," the person would inevitably say.
"Ohhhh, yes, but Maxine's the least of my problems." Your mother would look at you in your pink dress with white stockings and Mary Janes (or, as you got older, your floral leggings, frilly sweater,  and oversized blazer). "Y/N is the dangerous one."
"I'm sure that's not true," the other person would shoot you a smile, pinching a dimpled cheek or tugging on a braid or patting your knee. Then they would cast a dubious look at Max with her mop of wildly curly red hair and consider the fact that she had not been still for a single moment since they entered this conversation with your mother while you sat quietly by her side, legs neatly crossed.
"Don't let her looks deceive you," your mother would shake her head. "Let me tell you about this one time, Y/N was six years old at the time, so that would make Max about two. I had just gotten back from food shopping, and the neighbor who was watching them told me that the girls were playing in Y/N's room and that they had been well behaved and she hadn't heard a peep out of them. Well, of course, it's never a good sign when my girls are quiet, so I beelined straight for Y/N's room. And I found them," at this point she was digging through her purse. Of course, this was for show. The picture was tucked safely away in an inside pocket, and she would produce it with a small, triumphant "Aha!" and hand it to the other person.
In the picture, you and Max were sitting on the floor next to your bed. Next to you, three nail polish containers were pouring out various shades of pink onto the carpet. Your mother's make up bag sat in between you, but it had to have been completely empty as every form of make up, brush, and beauty tool was scattered around the two of you. For your part, you were grinning up at your mother, pink cheeked with bright red lips and what looked like almost a lipstick mustache because of how poorly you applied it. You had smudged heaps of purple eyeshadow onto your eyelids, reaching up to your eyebrows. Pinched between your dark pink and light pink little nails was your mother's mascara wand. Across from you, Max was gaping open mouthed at your mother, her lips a similar bright red, but the entire left side of her face was pink and she had green eyeshadow which was delicately blended in with her fair eyebrows. Except, her right eye had dark black smudges across it from where you tried to apply mascara. In her hair, you had had clipped about a half dozen of your mom's curlers.
Reactions ranged from a simple "Oh my!" and stifled giggle to laughing so hard tears fell from their eyes.
"For the life of me, I don't know how she convinced Max to sit still for that long. Or how either of them the reached my make up bag on top of my dresser," your mother would laugh, taking back the picture and zipping it up into its pockets. "But those are my girls for you."
You may have aged twelve years and moved across the country, but you had to admit, the story was still classic you.
After all, you woke up every day an hour earlier than you had to just so you could do your make up and coax your hair into the perfect side pony. And you needed at least 30 minutes to play around with your wardrobe to make sure you had a unique outfit to wear that day. There were 365 days in a year, and you refused to wear the same exact outfit on any single one of them.
Ok, so at around day 300 you had to start getting creative with what counted as the same and what didn't, but the fact remained that you did not repeat outfits. And it wasn't like you had thirty different shirts or forty pairs of pants. Your wardrobe was reasonable. You just had a knack for pairing things that other people may not have considered and what your mother deemed "a natural talent at accessorizing."
Today for instance, you had tied a neon blue bow into your hair (in addition to your black sequined scrunchy), stacked about thirty five jelly bracelets up your arm, and secured yourself into your clothes with two belts.
You were looking totally glam. You had to be. It was the first day at your new school.
"What the fuck are you wearing?" Billy asked looking over at you from his eggs. You rolled your eyes and flipped him off, lifting your spoon to your mouth.
"Why do you care?" Max glared at him over her cereal.
"It's fine, Max," you murmured.
"I have to be seen with you getting out of my car," Billy's lip curled as he looked over at you again. "You should change."
Max opened up her mouth to say something, but was cut off.
"Who needs to change?" your mother asked, lightly, breezing back into the kitchen from the bathroom.
"Billy was worried about his denim on denim look," you looked up at your mom, shooting a brief, tight lipped, smile. "I told him it's very fashion forward."  
"I think you all look great." Your mother bent down and kissed your temple. "Thank you," she whispered in your ear. You just shot another tight lipped smile at Billy.
She moved around the table and kissed Max's head. You guess based on Max's scowl what she whispered—be nice.
Your mother continued around the table and stopped behind Billy, hovering for a second. She patted his shoulder lightly, and Billy's whole body tenses up, his knuckles going white on his grip on his fork. Your mother walked away, but Billy didn't relax. He glared over at you.
"You should probably head out soon," your mother advised. "Don't want to be late to your first day."
Billy shoveled the rest of his eggs into his mouth and then shoved away from the table.
"Your plate, Billy," your mother lightly reminded.
Billy paused, plastering on a smile so fake you wouldn't see it on a Barbie. "Sorry, Susan." His words were a wooden sort of cheery. Billy walked back over, scooping his plate up from the table and dropping it in the sink where it let out a loud clattering sound.
Max muttered something under her breath, and you saved yours, settling for rolling your eyes.
"Thank you, Billy," your mother's voice was at a whisper. Your stomach tightened and your fingernails dug into your hand.
Max looked over at you before standing up and stacking your plate on top of hers, gently placing them both onto Billy's, as the front door banged open, Billy walking out to his car.
"Bye Mom," Max said quietly, following Billy out.
"Bye Mom," you echoed, stopping by her and planting a kiss on her cheek before leaving to go to school.
The first thing you noticed about Hawkins High School was all of the jeans.
The second thing you noticed was all of the sweaters.
At least in California there's been a mix of bad fashion. You'd had the kids who insisted on neon spandex. All. The. Time. And the punk kids. And yeah there were also jeans and t-shirts kids, but at least they had cool slogans.
The kids in Hawkins looked at you, casting derisive and surprised looks. You ignored them, searching the halls for cute boys or a girl who was also familiar with the color pink. Whichever came first.  
Your eyes landed on an attractive boy. He was tall and relatively well dressed in the grand scheme of Hawkins. For one thing, he was definitely pulling off the sunglasses indoors thing, and his hair. His hair was killer.
"Hi, excuse me," you asked, pitching your voice even higher than normal. It was the unspoken way of signaling that you meant no harm, wouldn't be asking if you had someone else to ask, but yes, you were open to being friends.
"Uh," the boy looked over at you, giving you a once over. "Hi."
"Do you know where Mr. Roth's class is? I'm new and can't quite figure my way out around the school."
"Yeah, it's down by Kramer," the boy said, gesturing vaguely down the hall. You had a sinking feeling you'd chosen an attractive asshole rather than the chivalrous attractive.
"And Kramer is...." you trailed off, your voice rising a little bit, edging closer to the "Danger Tone" as Max called it.
"Down the hall, second left. It's one of the doors on the right hand side," he sighed. He looked over at you as you blinked. "Get any of that?"
You gave him your signature tight lipped smile and nodded. Watching as he widened his eyes and sucked in a breath, shaking his head as he turned away.
You wished you could tell him exactly what you thought of him in that moment. But instead you stood there gaping as he walked away. You wished Max was here. She'd have the words to match your one finger raised high.
You saw the attractive asshole again at lunch. You had squeaked when the lunch lady scooped sludge on your tray, earning looks from everyone in line. The Asshole was a few people ahead of you in line and at your sound had looked back at you. His eyes met yours and he scoffed, rolling his eyes. In the back of your mind a small plan formed to trip next to his seat and spill your sludge all over. But as you watched him walk away and sit next to the one girl who had bothered to be nice to you today and help you catch up in math, you decided to give him a pass.
"What the fuck happened to my car?" Billy asked staring at his Camaro. On the driver's side door was a long thin scratch.
You looked over at it as you walked around to the passenger side door. "Piss someone off already, Billy?" you asked in a sweet voice. His eyes shot to you, his gaze darkening.
"You fuckin' bitch," he growled.
"Every time she's been near this car, it's been right behind you. Don't you think you would have seen her key your car?" Max asked, opening the back seat door and climbing in. You followed suit, both of you slamming your doors shut at the same time.
Billy weighed this and decided he was attentive enough that he would have noticed. He wasn't because he didn't.
He hadn't said one word to you when you got out of his car that morning, walked around the back under the guise of letting Max out, and then took out your house key and run it along the side of the car. How he hadn't heard was beyond you. The mullet must have muffled it. Oh well.
You had decided you did like Hawkins ok.  Not as much as your siblings, though. Max seemed to be taking to it fairly well. At first she practically lived at the arcade, but eventually she made friends and even met up with them to go trick or treating. And Billy. Billy had been dubbed the fucking king at that party. It had taken you close to two hours to find any cute boys willing to dance with you. And you had thought your fairy outfit was appropriately sexy meets the Indiana cold. And while word had gotten around that you were a talented kisser and that you had made your debut kissing the popular Todd Collins, you were finally welcomed into a semi-popular group. After several shopping trips and three sleepovers, you convinced your newfound friends of the fun of nail polish and glory of leggings. They had a road ahead of them, but progress.
The most surprising turn was that you and Billy had a common enemy: Steve Harrington. The attractive asshole. Although it was probably more accurate to say that you and Steve had a common antagonist in Billy. Or maybe the boys had a shared distaste of you. Whatever it was, the three of you didn't like each other and you found yourself occasionally admiring the jabs Steve made at Billy's expense and hearing about how Billy had thrown Steve on his ass.
But while you, Max, and Billy had all made friends, none of you expected to hear the doorbell ring on a Friday after school.  
As you were currently shut up in your room painting your nails, and Billy was playing macho-man, lifting weights in the front of the house, You elected to have him answer it.
"Max are you getting that, or what?" Billy shouted out. You should have expected as much. You rolled your eyes taking a deep breath in.
"OK!" Max answered, and you breathed out in relief, thankful for your little sister. You still had three nails left.
The doorbell rang again. Five more times.
"I swear to God, Max!" Billy shouted, and you heard Max storm out of her room, and the doorbell stopped.
You had finished up the last of your nails before Max came back in. You could hear a brief exchange between her and Billy before Max slammed back into her room. You got up from your desk chair, slipping out of your room and knocking on Max's door twice before going in.
"Max!" you gasped, looking at your wide-eyed little sister who was half way in her room and half way out the window.
"Y/N!" Max answered in an equally shocked voice. Her eyes darted over your shoulder. "Close the door!" she hissed.
You hurried into the room, pushing the door shut behind you.
"What—Where—" you stuttered, as Max remained frozen. "Get out of the window!" you finally settled. She acquiesced.
"Max?" A boy's voice drifted up through the open window. Max's eyes grew even wider. She looked as if she's just been caught stealing your mother's car keys.
"Who is that Max?" you asked, lowly. You had a sinking feeling you knew as you crossed to the window.
Lucas Sinclair.
His eyes grew as wide as Max's as he looked up at you.
You turned to Max. "You know I'm a sucker for a good romantic cliche, Max, but are you serious right now?"
"It's not romantic," Max mumbled, her face flushing.
"Look, it's a matter of life or death!" Lucas called up.
"Shhhhh," you hissed. "If Billy hears you, we're all in trouble."
"If it's not romantic, why are you sneaking out your window?"
"He said he has proof that there's some sort of alternate dimension and creepy conspiracy in town," Max looked up at you.
You blanched.
"Max!" Lucas cried out, and you both hushed him.
"Look, you are not sneaking out on your own to hunt down conspiracies about alternate dimensions," you shook your head.
"Y/N," Max started, pleading.
"I'm coming with you," you announced. Max lit up.
"No way," Lucas shook his head. You looked down at him and could see it in the way he looked at your neon pink shirt and thick belt with an admittedly clunky belt buckle. You huffed in a breath.
"Please," Max scoffed. "If you're telling the truth, we need my sister. She's the most bad ass person in this town." You shot a half smile at her and she returned it.
"Fine, just come on. We have to go!" This boy was one antsy little sucker.
"Max, go with him. I'll grab my skates."
It was surprisingly easy to sneak out of the house. All you had to do was walk straight out the door and tell him Dana was here and you were going shopping.
He hardly even looked up to notice you were walking out of the house with your backpack on.
It had been slightly harder to keep up with Lucas Sinclair on your way to the mystery destination because that boy could pedal.
The three of you stopped at the top of a hill, leading to a junk yard. Below you saw a small boy with a red, white, and blue hat and…
"Shit," you swore as Lucas called out to his friends. Max looked up at you, and pulled a face as if you were crazy. "It's the asshole," you muttered to her, as she turned back to look with you at Steve Harrington. You descended down the hill, trailing behind Lucas and Max as you came up to the boys. Hat-boy was looking between Lucas and Max with a mixture of shock and disappointment. It was a look you were all too familiar with, and your heart went out to him.
Even if he was hanging out with the likes of Steve Harrington.
"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, looking at you skeptically. He crossed his arms, and you matched him. You noticed the Hat-boy pulling Lucas away behind a car.
"I'm here to make sure nothing happens to my sister," you bit back.
"What afraid she'll break a nail?" Steve asked with a smug little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes.
"Please, only time Y/N's ever broken a nail is when she had to climb out of the window to–" You shot a look at Max, cutting her off.
"That's a story I want to hear more of," Steve encouraged.
"What are we doing here?" you ignored him, casting a look around the junkyard. "And what does it have to do with conspiracies and alternate dimensions."
"Apparently there's a cat-eating space lizard on the loose." Steve's hands moved to his hips as if he was some sort of demented super hero. "And it's up to us to stop it."
You snorted. "Yeah, ok. How do we do that?"
"Pile up as much as you can to fortify the bus," Steve jerked his head towards a large old rusted bus. "Once night comes, hopefully that thing will be lured out to the meat pile, we set it on fire from the safety of the bus, and Hawkins is saved. Easy. Well, except for the heavy lifting."
"I think I can manage." You rolled your eyes, pulling off your skates and exchanging them with the sneakers you had stashed in your backpack.
"Not afraid of getting a little dirt under your nails. Maybe messing up your outfit?" Steve poked, smiling.
You glared up at him from where you were tying your shoes. You stood up, stepping closer to him. "What's your fucking problem?"
Max's eyes widened and she backed up, turning to start the work on the bus.
"No problem," Steve shook his head, holding his hands up defensively.
"Than cut the commentary. I dress well. I like pink. I'm a girl, and I really like being a girl, ok?" Your voice was firmly in the Danger Tone.
"Yeah, I noticed. Everyone in Hawkins High notices you prancing around in your little outfits expecting people to go out of their way to help the princess," Steve scoffed, shaking his head. "It's bullshit," he muttered.
"That accusation is bullshit," you shot back, pulling in deep breaths. They were supposed to calm you. They didn't.
"Oh is it?" Steve asked, stepping closer to you. "You pulled that little stunt on me. First time I met you."
"You think I was—" you stopped yourself, shaking your head. "I was trying to make friends, you dickhead!"
"You know what," Steve made made a sweeping motion with his hands. "Let's just stop talking and work in silence."
"Fine," you bit back.
"Good," he nodded.
You stormed away from Steve, going to hunt down things you could use to fortify the bus. You had only made it a few yards, so you could hear Max perfectly clearly when she walked by Steve and paused next to him:
"Don't make her mad," your sister warned. "She gets dangerous."
You smiled to yourself, and finding a thin but solid looking pipe, you picked it up and stashed it on the bus. Just in case.
The five of you crowded onto the bus as the sun fell, Steve insisting he be the last one on to close and block up the door. Quickly thereafter, Lucas had offered to go up to the bus' roof and keep watch, and after a brief exchange with Dustin (that was Hat-boy's name apparently), in which you had almost stepped in to tell the little sucker off, your sister had gone up to join him. Leaving you alone with Steve Harrington who was flicking a lighter open and closed, and Dustin, who was pouting.
A blood curdling howl echoed outside the bus, and you nearly jumped out of your skin, letting out a small squeak.
Steve turned to you, eyebrow raised. "Easy, princess," he said, pushing himself up off the floor and looking out the window. You flicked him off even though both he and Dustin had their noses pressed up against the glass. You walked over to stand next to Dustin, peering out the bus' window.
There was nothing but mist. "This is really creepy," you murmured, and the boys, thankfully, ignored you.
"You see him?"
"No."
You could feel a bitter taste it he back of your throat. The same taste you got in your mouth when your mom sat you down after a particularly bad fight with your dad.
"Lucas, what's going on?" Dustin shouted next to your ear, and you flinched away, shooting him a glare. He probably couldn't see it in the dark.
"Hold on!" Lucas called back down. You waited one second. Two seconds Three– "I've got eyes. 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock!" his voice squeaked.
"There," Steve said, and your eyes followed his gaze.
Out of the mist crept a creature about the size of a dog. And that was where the similarities to any animal you'd ever seen before in your life ended.
It had no face. Just a hole which it inhaled the raw meat into.
The skin was odd, and it seemed more like it should be a frog's skin than a dog's even though it was clearly muscular.
"Eww," you murmured, unable to take your eyes off of it. Steve and Dustin snorted at you.
"What's he doing?" Dustin wondered.
"I don't know," Steve answered. Suddenly you wanted Max right by your side.
"He's not taking the bait. Why's he not taking the bait?" Steve's voice was frustratingly calm, even when his words weren't.
"Maybe he's not hungry," Dustin posed.
"Maybe the menu's not to his tastes," you joked. And then a thought hit you. Maybe the menu wasn't to his tastes. He ate cat. He ate cow. Maybe he was looking for something less hairy. Less tough. A little prettier. You bent over and picked up Steve's nail ridden bat.
"Woah, woah, woah, what do you think you're doing?" Steve asked, turning and grabbing your wrist.
"I'm expanding the menu," you replied, flippantly, attempting to yank your wrist back, but Steve's grip was too strong.
"Yeah, I don't think so. You'll get hurt," Steve pulled the bat from your grasp and released you.
"And what? You won't? Pretty sure neither of us are particularly prepared to go up against some gross space dog."
"It's not a space dog, it's interdimensional," Dustin corrected. Another howl echoed out and Steve looked out of the bus at the dog.
"You're staying here," Steve ordered, "Just, get ready." He tossed the lighter to you and left the bus.
Asshole.
"What's he doing?" Max asked, joining you and Dustin by the window. You wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Expanding the menu," Dustin murmured, stealing your joke. You shot another glare at him, and this time he had the decency to duck his head.
"Steve! Watch out!" Lucas' voice called from the top of the bus. You heard Steve call back a reply when a movement caught your eye, and your breath caught in your throat.
"3 o'clock! 3 o'clock!" Lucas squeaked out and you noticed as more interdimensional dogs crept closer to Steve. And then one lunged, and you gasped out, pulling away from the window as Steve swung his bat and flung himself over the hood of an old car. Dustin ran to the bus' door, pushing past you and screaming for Steve
"Abort! Abort! Steve, hurry!"
Steve was running back towards the bus and those things were hot on his tail, and even though he was an asshole, you couldn't help but scream for him to "RUN FASTER DICKHEAD!" Steve scrambled back onto the bus, pulling the doors closed, and then you heard glass shattering and you were screaming and Max was screaming. Lucas had climbed back down. You don't remember when that happened, but the three kids huddled by the ladder and away from the door. Good. Something hit the back of the bus, and a mouth snapped in. You pushed the kids out of your way, picking the pipe up from under the seat, and swung it, a nasty crack emitting from where you whacked the thing on the head. It pulled back.
The bus shook and then slowly, heavy footprints echoed down from the roof of the bus. You looked up and saw Max standing their wide-eyed looking up at the gaping hole in your fortifications. You flung yourself forward, scrambling up the ladder, pipe in hand.
"Y/N, no!" Max cried, but Lucas pulled her back, and Steve had just turned his head when you were already halfway up. The dog like creature hovered over you, opening its mouth, and a totally inappropriate thought entered your mind— aside from all of the teeth it looked a little bit like a flower.
"Y/N!" Steve called out to you, but you had already thrust your hand and pipe forward into its mouth and up, and the creature let out a screech as you pulled the pipe back, the end now wet. You shoved it forward again at the creature which was somehow still moving and then another howl echoed out and it turned its head, your pipe knocking into it and shoving the creature back a few steps. It scampered off and you remained, one hand gripping tight to the other and the other still holding the pipe high.
"Holy shit," Dustin swore, looking up at you.
"You took a few shaky steps down the ladder and turned to face the group, lowering the pipe.
"When the hell did you pick up a pipe?" Steve was looking at you wide-eyed, and you shook your head, brushing some hair that had fallen out of your ponytail back behind your ear.
You pushed over to the window and the group parted, letting you go. "We should follow them," you said. "Who knows what'll happen if they're heading into town." There was a general murmuring of assent as the group of you hurried off of the bus. Steve moved to the front of the kids, and you joined him, walking side by side: him walking with his bat sticking out of his backpack, and you with your pipe sticking out of yours.
He looked over to you as you passed the pile of uneaten meat.
"You're kind of a badass, aren't you?" Steve asked, quietly. You smiled at the slight awe in his voice and shrugged a shoulder.
"I told you," Max crossed her arms, smirking. "She's dangerous."
Read the Sequel
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madelinecoffee · 7 years
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Riley the Worrier
A/N: I’ve had this story in my head for a long time and it finally seems to have been ready to come out. Thanks to @grapes-day for being my forever supportive friend. It deals with anxiety and a panic attack does take place, just as a heads up. I hope enjoy, please be kind. Pairing: Riley x Lucas and a side of Cory x Topanga  Words: 2,240 words                           
   Riley Matthews had always been a worrier. She worried about what people thought about her, she was constantly concerned about her family and her friends, she stressed over school. She worried about her assignments, if they were good enough to turn in. She fretted about herself, if she was good enough.  After years of worrying Riley got used to the feelings that would creep on her when she least expected it. She knew she worried a little more than most people, but she didn’t see too much of a problem with it. After all it was under control right?
           That was until senior year of high school because there was just so much to be concerned about. Where was she going to school? Where were her friends going to school? Where was Lucas going to school? What about prom and graduation and all the things she still had to do before she graduated? Not to mention the usual worries she had about everyday life, like what Anna in her history class said when she told Riley that her shirt “suited her”.  Or that project going on in science that she still hadn’t finished, granted it wasn’t due for another week. But still.
           With all these thoughts and qualms floating around Riley’s brain, it became harder and harder for Riley to get a full nights of sleep. At first it wasn’t a big deal, because everyone misses a few nights on sleep because his or her mind doesn’t shut up right? But then it turned into two weeks without more than a few hours of sleep and Riley wasn’t sure what to do.
“Hey Riley? Riley, Riley babe” Lucas tried to get his girlfriend’s attention but she seemed to be staring at the wall of her bedroom in another world as she often had been these past weeks. They were snuggling and chatting on her bed, until Riley and drifted off into her own thoughts. Lucas shook Riley gently shook her shoulders from his spot as her pillow.
“Huh?” Riley looked back up at Lucas and blushed with embarrassment when she realized what had happened. “I’m sorry Lucas, I just…wandered into Rileytown and it took me a while to get back.” In truth Riley’s mind had been ramping up all the things she to be worried about. She was thankful Lucas pulled her out of it when he did because her chest had started to get tight with all of it.
“Riley? Is everything okay with you?  You just seem off. And you know you can tell me anything and I’ll listen.”
Riley sighed and looked into Lucas eyes knowing she had to tell him. “L-Lucas I-I.” She took a deep breath and Lucas gave her hand a squeeze “I haven’t slept for a full night in probably two or three weeks. And its not because I don’t want to, I do. So badly. But I can’t. Its like my mind won’t let me and I don’t get it Lucas.” Tears of frustration and exhaustion started to rim Riley’s eyes as Lucas soothed her.
“Shh Riley. It’s okay. What do you mean your mind won’t let you?” He stroked her hair as she took another deep breath and continued
“It’s like my mind is on overdrive all the time. But especially when I try to sleep. Every worry or thing that’s ever happened decides that then is the perfect time to-to come to the front of my mind. And it just makes me worry and my chest hurt and I just can’t sleep.” Riley wiped at her eyes as she continued. “Lucas I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve always been a worrier but now I can’t stop and I don’t know how to handle this tell me how to handle this.” A new set of tears came rolling her cheeks as she shoved her face into Lucas’ chest 
“Riley babe, shh. It’s okay not to know. Okay? Shh.” Lucas squeezed Riley tightly and took his own deep breath to gather his thoughts He had some idea what was going on with Riley but didn’t know how to broach the subject. He decided just to go for it.
“Riley, have you ever thought you might have an anxiety issue?” When Riley pulled her head out of his chest and gave him a blank expression he rambled on, “I just wondered because a lot of what you’re saying sounds like what my little sister, Lily, talks about with her anxiety. She always called it over worry before she got diagnosed.  She used to not sleep much either and it was really bad for a while…especially before she talked to Mom and Dad and they got her to start seeing a therapist…” Lucas trialed off as Riley’s eyes got bigger at the word therapist and the prospect of another problem.
Riley’s mind started to go into over-drive as she processed Lucas’ words. All of her normal worries leaped to the front of her mind as well as the concern that she might have a serious problem. But it would make sense right? She wanted to focus on what Lucas had said but suddenly it was all too much.
Fear started to grip her as she struggled to breathe “Lu-Lucas I—I can’t I—cant’ breathe.”
Lucas quickly realized what was happening with Riley and clutched her tightly to his chest. He felt terrible that in trying to help her, he pushed her over the edge. He tried his best to soothe her by stroking her hair rocking her doing everything he could think of to soothe her. But it didn’t work. Riley was crying and struggling for breath.
And in that moment her mom walked in to let them know her Cory were home from dropping off Auggie at his friends for the weekend. Topanga who had her own struggles over anxiety and her perfectionist ideals had saw this building for weeks. She had seen how tired and twitchy Riley was but had decided to wait until Riley came to her to bring it up. She realized now that that was a mistake. She swiftly rushed onto the bed and joined Lucas in helping to soothe Riley.
After what seemed like centuries to Riley before she could finally take a full breathe and her tears slowed down. She was exhausted; more exhausted than she ever thought possible. When she pulled her face out on its place in Lucas’ chest she noticed her mom had joined in the midst of her breakdown. With big eyes and a weary expression she looked back and forth between her mother and her boyfriend. Topanga was the first to speak.
“Riley, sweetie. What happened?” Topanga’s voiced was filled with concern.
“I—I” Riley tried to find the words to tell her mother what had occurred but she couldn’t. She looked to Lucas for support; Lucas squeezed her hand and nodded.
“Riley started to tell me about how she hasn’t been sleeping because her mind wont let her, and how she’s just been extra worried for a while now. And then I brought up how it sounded a lot like what Lily goes through especially before she started going to therapy.” Riley nodded along as Lucas explained to her mom and leaned back into his chest seeking comfort. “And then, I think it was all to much for Riley because she started to have a panic attack. But you were there for that part.” Lucas looked up at Topanga and then glanced at Riley. Riley’s eyes had gotten larger at the phrase ‘panic attack’ but she was to fatigued to dwell on it for the moment.
“Ah, I think we definitely should talk more.” Topanga gave Riley a sympathetic look before petting her hair and kissing her forehead. “But I think Riley could use a nap before all that.”
Riley nodded “C-can Lucas stay? I-I don’t want to be alone.” Riley sheepishly asked. Topanga nodded “Of course sweetie. Just come down when you’re ready, and we can talk with your father. I’ll fill him while you nap.”
Lucas silently helped adjust Riley so they could get under the covers and re-adjust to a laying down position with Riley once again using Lucas’ chest as a pillow. Lucas kissed her head and her heard sigh a thank you before she drifted of to sleep.
As Riley slept Topanga filled Cory in what had happened with Riley. They both decided that, with the consent of Riley that she should start seeing someone to figure out what was going on with her. They wanted to make sure that Riley was comfortable with it before they put any plans into motion. Topanga heard movement upstairs and set to make four cups of hot chocolate. She knew how much Riley liked it and figured after all Riley had been dealing with she could use a pick me up. Riley was the first one around the bend, wearing an exhausted expression,  Lucas’ sweatshirt, and a tight grip on her boyfriend’s hand. 
“Hi mom, hi dad. Is-is it okay if Lucas stays? I-I’m just not…” Riley trailed off unsure of how to tell her parents she needed Lucas to stay. Partly help her explain what was going on in her head and partly because the thought of his comfort leaving her made her chest hurt all over again. Lucas gave her hand a squeeze as they stood in front of the table.
“Of course he can stay Riley. In fact I made four hot chocolates for us well we talk about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.” Topanga gently told Riley as she handed out the mugs. Lucas helped Riley sit down and she laid her head down on his shoulder as she wrapped her free hand around her hot chocolate.  
“My first concern is how you’re feeling now?” Topanga looked at her with a questioning look.
Riley closed her eyes trying to gather her thoughts “I’m-I’m wiped out, besides that I don’t know.”
Cory was quick to step in, “It’s okay not to know right now sweetie. Okay? But how about before it happened? Like day to day.”
“Wworried or anxious? That’s the word Lucas used and it made sense. Like I’m always worried and I’m so tired because I don’t sleep. And now I’m concerned because its been so long since I’ve fully slept. And I just…I don’t really know” Riley tried to give an honest answer to her dad but she was unsure of how she was really feeling. But she knew she wanted to feel better, she was so tired of always being uneasy she just wanted peace.
Lucas jumped in, “When I asked Riley what was wrong she was telling me about it and it sounded a lot like what Lily struggles with. I mean she struggles less now because her therapy has really helped her…” Lucas tapered off and glanced at Riley to make sure she was okay for the moment. She looked completely wiped out lying on his shoulder drinking her hot chocolate but she didn’t seem like she was going to have a breakdown at this moment.
Topanga continued to where Lucas left off “That’s something we’d like to talk to you about Riley. We think it might be a good idea to talk to someone and maybe gain some skills to help deal with it all?”
Riley gave a slight nod, “I don’t want to feel as crappy as I did in that moment again. I also just want to sleep forever. Honestly mom I’ll try anything to help at this point.” She gave a deep sigh as she finished her sentence.
Cory and Topanga gave a sigh of relief, “I know of someone you can go see. I’ll make the appointment for a few days from now?” Topanga quested with a glance at Cory and Riley.
“That sounds good Mom. Thank you.” Riley’s voice was quiet, “Um…do you guys think Lucas could stay over tonight? I know he’s my boyfriend but we’ll keep the door open and, I just can’t let him leave” Riley pleaded with her parents as Lucas squeezed her hand.
Riley’s parents sensing her distress shared a look before Cory answered, “For tonight, yes pumpkin Lucas can stay over.” Riley gave them a small smile of thank you, while Lucas donned a look of shock.
“D-do you think we could go up now? I’m just…”
“Of course Riley. We’ll see you and Lucas in the morning for breakfast and let you know when your appointment is.” Topanga gave both Riley and Lucas a kiss on their heads before they went up to bed.
They got ready in mostly silence, with Riley almost never letting go of Lucas’ hand unless necessary. They crawled into her bed and Riley snuggled into Lucas’ chest.
“I love you, Lucas. Thanks for being here.”
“I love you, Riley. You know I’ll always be here for you.”
Riley fell asleep soon after, soothed by Lucas presence and exhausted from the events of the day. Lucas drifted off soon after as he felt Riley relax in his arms.  
In the next few weeks Riley started to feel slowly better. After her first therapy appointment she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It gave her a sense of relief to have a label and know that she wasn’t alone in her feelings. She saw her therapist once a week to discuss on she was doing and various coping skills. She learned what to do when the thoughts got to be to much. She had her appointments on Wednesday and Lucas helped her cover with her friends until she was ready to tell them. When she eventually did they were supportive and helpful as she expected them to be. 
But her biggest support was her parents and Lucas. They worked with her on coping skills and helped her manage her anxiety She had good days and bad days with it. On particularly bad days they allowed Lucas to spend the night, as long as the door was open.  And slowly she started to feel better. She still worried about her family, and her friends, and her grades and what was happening in the world. Some nights she didn’t sleep, and some days were bad. But now she knew it was going to be okay. At the end of the day, she had her copping skills and she had her Lucas. All in all things were looking up.
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rhode island insurance statutes
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rhode island insurance statutes
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rhode island insurance statutes
rhode island insurance statutes
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rhode island insurance statutes
rhode island insurance statutes
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Insurance Forum?
Are there any good forums that discuss insurance products without trying to sell you something?
""Can i take out a life insurance policy on my mother, shes in her late 40s, and what kind of insurance do i get""
im in the millitary and my father and mother just spend to much money and are going to leave it all to me what kind of insurance and how much does it cost
Is there a website for health insurance quotes?
im goin 2 b 19 & my current health insurance will exp. i need to find health insurance fast as well as as dentist insurance. sum ppl told me not 2 get eye insurance cuz payin da monthly payment vs. getting da benefit isn't worth it. meanin u pay more than u get out of it. but i want ur opinion as well sum other ppl told me 2 go 2 a hospital 2 ask sum ?'s of what health i should get, meanin like find out what im cover 4. like i don't want 2 pay hidden charges. like basically i need help cuz nobody is guidin me on what 2 do after im not cover. like im on my own.""
Anyone know the best company to go to for life insurance?
Anyone know the best company to go to for life insurance?
Choosing a Family Health Insurance?
Hello, What is the suggested Health Insurance for entire family (Ex: 2 adult and 1 kid or 2 kids) among the nationalized providers (National Insurance; Oriental Insurance; New India Assurance; United India Insurance)? Thank You.""
Insurance on Ford Focus ST - Young Driver?
I'm just looking for guideline figures on what insurance is likely to cost for a 20yr old male on a new Ford Focus ST in the UK. This is with 2 years no claims bonus and no speeding convictions. Any help greatly appreciated!
How is automobile insurance not extortion?
How is automobile insurance not extortion?
What is the average insurance cost for a 2012 Chevy Cruze?
I will be turning 21 in June. No tickets or accidents on my record. What would the average monthly payment be for insurance?
How do I get health insurance?
My job doesnt provide health insurance and I do need to get some. Thanks for the help :)
""I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""
I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""
Does anybody know where to get cheap auto insurance for a 18year old?
Does anybody know where to get cheap auto insurance for a 18year old?
Which are the cheaper car insurance in UK?
Which are the cheaper car insurance in UK?
""I am buying a used innova car, will the car insurance be in my name?
The car is having a loan of Rs 350000/- & i am planing to take over the loan. But if any thing happens to the car in the loan period will the insurance company pay to me or the owner who has made the insurance.
How can I find out what auto insurance a company has?
OK. So I use to work for this repossession company and I was hit by an idiot that ran a red light. Anyway after the accident I got a lawyer. I quit there shortly after. Well the insurance card in the tow truck was expired and not the right company . When the company switch insurance they forgot to put the new card in.. well since the drive that hit me did not have insurance the personal injury will be covered by the companies insurance. But the owner will not tell my lawyer the name of the insurance company or anything. And said your gonna have to take me to court. He is a real jerk btw. So does anyone know how I could find out online or something what company they were with at the time of the accident??
""What percentage of your net income should you spend on all your bills including mortgage, car, insurance, etc.""
Live in New York, just about to buy a house and am wondering what other people are spending on all their bills as compared to their salary. I'm figuring about 55%-60% of my net ...show more""
Can I buy an expensive sports car and insurance under my moms name?
I want to purchase a brand new Nissan GTR from the dealership (I have the money ready) and want to buy get full coverage car insurance for it too. However, Since I am male (I'm 28 years old) the car insurace is way too expensive. If I were to have my mom come purchase the car for me as her being the primary legal owner with me being the co signer (I am paying for it with my own money upfront) and have her be the primary legal full coverage driver on that car in the insurance policy with me being able to drive it too with full coverage will this work in order to get a drastically lower monthly insurance payment? It's perfectly fine with my mom being the legal owner as long as my mouth is shut to the insurance company. I also don't mind paying for the both of us on this car as long as my insurance payment is lower. What do you think? Isn't it a brilliant idea?""
How much is car insurance for a new driver?
How much would car insurance cost in BC in a rural area for a 17 year (new driver). Thanks. The car would be a mustang from 1995-2001
""Excluding insurance prices, which car would be the cheapest to run: impreza wrx (2006-2088), Civic Type R EP3?""
I'm about to purchase a little sports car to treat myself. I was wondering if you could tell me which of these 2 cars would be the cheapest to run (fuel costs, tyres, parts etc) If anyone has an any other car suggestions with a similar amount of power and specs please feel free to suggest. Cheers""
How do i add my name to someone else's car insurance?
A friend of mine is willing to teach me to drive in their car. I know you have to add your name to the insurance but don't know how to or how much it will cost. Any info will be greatly apprieciated thanks
How much would insurance be for a 17 year old male in Alabama?
Please only educated, backed-up answers.""
How much should I insure a 2 bedroom condo for?
I want to buy insurance for a 2 bedroom, 1150 square foot condo in Orange County, California. I am interested in knowing how much coverage to buy to cover inside damage due to a catastrophe like a fire for example. I don't care about coverage for personal belongings or outside of the building. I just need to know what it costs to restore the inside walls, floors, etc. in case they are ever destroyed.""
Estimated Price Insurance On Lexus IS 250?
I am a 23 year old female living in California. I've been driving since 18 years old with a clean driving record. I plan on getting the 2007 or 2008 Lexus IS 250 sometime this year. Any ideas on how much the insurance would be for me? Thanks in advance! =]
I receive a health insurance stipend but keep it in savings instead. is this okay?
i went from being fully covered with my company in los angeles, but i moved to new york 7 months ago, where their insurance doesn't cover. in lieu of this, they give me a stipend. however, it's not nearly enough to cover cost of insurance here, so i've been putting it in a savings account until i can afford a plan in my budget and/or emergency health situations. my boss just asked me for proof of insurance. i will tell the truth of the matter, but what will happen? what can they do?""
rhode island insurance statutes
rhode island insurance statutes
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/highmark-blue-shield-insurance-quote-ryan-holmes/"
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