#NO BUT SRS HE JUST WANTED A PURPOSE IN LIFE AND FRIENDS THAT CARE ABOUT HIM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moshymosh · 3 years

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Remember me- A Night To Remember

When the love of your life suffers from a disease that affects their memory of their life with you, what do you do? Will you spend your last days with them, trying to get them to remember you? The life you had, or would you give up and let them forget you?

Summary- Dr. Spencer Reid felt his whole life change when Agent Y/n L/n joined the BAU. She came in like a cool summer breeze changing everything Spencer knew about love and his capacity to care for someone so much. Y/n came to the BAU with a tragic past, her only goal was to save lives and make the world a safer place for everyone. She meets a skinny shaggy haired doctor, which causes her whole life to change, much like Spencer, will she fall in love or will her tragic past or even her job prevent her?

Pairings- Dr. Spencer Reid x f!reader.

A/N- This is a notebook inspired story, this story will be told and wrote like a chapter book. So some of the endings will not always make sense. Also I don't claim go own Criminal Minds or the Notebook, this is solely for entertainment purposes and for enjoyment. Some of the lines are from the notebook movie, again I don't claim to own either fandom/tv show/ movie. I try to make Y/n as vague as possible so shes more inclusive so if there is any descriptive things that don’t apply to you feel free to ignore them. Also just putting this out there as the story progresses Maeve is still alive and well, she is a good friend of Spencer and Y/n’s. There will be graphic content and sexual scenes in later chapters, warnings will be added as they go. Also if you want to be tagged send me an as or comment here, also send requests I'm down for making little fics. I know this part is a little weird, but there will be a -A Night To Remember part 2

PS- Please don't post my fics anywhere without my documented consent, thanks -Karma (MoshyMosh)

Warnings- some mentions of guns, violence and some minor crime talk, the usual for criminal minds. (I’m bad at writing case talk, please don't hate me.)

Here's the dress I was using for inspiration. Also here are the roses. If the links don’t work, here’s a link to the inspo board on Pinterest.

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Y/n walked into the bullpen a package clasped in her hands. Y/n saw JJ talking to Derek and glanced around, making sure Spencer wasn't around before she walked over to the pair. "JJ I need a favor, " Y/n said softly, holding out the newspaper-wrapped package. "Give it to Spencer when I'm- uh not around?"

JJ and Derek shared a small smile after JJ took the package from Y/n and watched her go over to her desk and begin to set her stuff down. Y/n tilted her head at the small bouquet of yellow red-tipped roses sitting on her desk. Y/n smiled softly and pulled the notecard from its holder. Her eyes were drawn from the notecard to the three bags of gummy bears behind the roses.

Y/n let out a giggle and shook her head with a small smile on her face. She then looked up to JJ with a look of confusion but brushed it aside and sat down as she began to pull the card from its envelope.

'Will you go to the FBI ball with me?-SR xx'

Y/n giggled and slid the notecard into her blazer pocket and grabbed one of the bags of gummy bears, opening it as she left the bullpen to go to Garcia's bat cave.

Spencer smiled as he saw Y/n's reaction to his gifts, turning back to Rossi and Hotch, as they all stood in Hotch's office. "I think she liked them." He said excitedly. "Thank you." Spencer said before he left Hotch's office.

JJ saw Spencer walking back to his desk. "Spence!" she called for him as she began to walk over to him, Derek trailing behind her.

Spencer turned and looked at JJ, confused, seeing the package in her hand. "Looks like pretty boys got a crush." Derek said with a chuckle, nudging Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer took the package from JJ, pulling the notecard from under the emerald green ribbon that was decorating the package. Spencer looked up at JJ and Derek, confused before he opened the envelope and pulled out the card to read its contents.

'I love Walt Whitman, you saw and remember how I like my coffee, here's my favorite book of poems. Remember them- F/I L/I x'

Spencer put the notecard down and went to untie the ribbon when he looked at his desk to set the ribbon down and saw a note on the back of the card.

'PS- you once told me a statistic on recycling and I took it to heart, hence the newspaper. It's recycled.'

Spencer chuckled and carefully unwrapped the newspaper so it can be reused before he pulled the book from the wrapper. Spencer opened the hardcover and saw the copyright page.

"A first edition?" Spencer asked in disbelief.

Y/n and Garcia walked back in the bullpen, Y/n looked over to Spencer and smiled at him before she popped a gummy bear into her mouth.

"Okay guys, the FBI ball is next Wednesday. We just got a case, let's meet and discuss." Hotch said from the second floor.

Y/n followed Penelope to the meeting room and found a seat as the others filed in after.

"Ok, guys this case is in our very own home." Garcia started talking, throughout the meeting Y/n and Spencer took turns glancing at each other.

"Ok L/n you're with me, we'll set up here. Reid and Morgan go check out the first crime scene. Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss go to the recent scene." Hotch said as he closed his file.

"Y/n." Hotch said once everyone left and they began to set up the evidence boards that they had wheeled into the room.

"Yes sir?" Y/n asked, looking over to Hotch as she finished putting up the final picture on one of the boards.

"Did you like Spencer's gifts?" he asked, handing her some more things to put on the board.

Y/n smiled to herself as she hung the things he handed to her, "Yes, I did. Though, I can't wrap my brain around what those yellow roses are supposed to symbolize. They have multiple meanings such as friendship and/or falling in love." she said as she turned around and placed her hands on the back of a nearby chair. "Does that mean his note is 'go to the ball with me as friends.' or 'go to the ball with me because I'm falling in love with you.'?"

Hotch chuckled and shook his head with a smile. "Don't overthink it like Reid did." he said

Y/n shook her head with a laugh before she smiled up at him. "I think just because you said that I'm going to do just that."

Their friendly banter was interrupted by Hotch's phone ringing. "Reid, what did you find out?" Hotch asked as he answered and put his phone on speaker, Y/n listened alongside Hotch to what Reid was telling them. Y/n looked over to the map on the board, mentally putting points on it.

"I think I know where the unsub's comfort zone is." she said, moving away from the chair she was leaning against and began putting the points she envisioned onto the map for the team.

"Reid, Morgan tell everyone to get back here." Hotch said before he turned and looked at what Y/n was doing as he hung up the phone.

After a few days if run around by the unsub they managed to track him down. Y/n went into the warehouse with her gun drawn as she led a few SWAT members in.

"Thomas McDonald!" Y/n shouted, her gun drawn on the man who was holding a knife to the throat of a girl he recently kidnapped. "Put the knife down, and let the girl go."

Soon the team came in and the unsub backed down. They quickly arrested the man and the victim was given medical treatment. Y/n took a deep breath when she stepped out of the warehouse, Y/n shook her head to shake loose her thoughts before she looked at the woman sitting on the back of the ambulance.

"Agent L/n?" a medic called over to her, she looked over to the source of the voice. "She wants to speak to you."

Y/n walked over to the woman and sat next to her. "You saved my life." the woman said, grasping Y/n's hands.

"It wasn't just me." Y/n said as she rubbed her thumbs over the back of the woman's hands, turning her head to nod towards the team. "They all helped." Y/n whispered to her. The woman hugged her tightly causing Y/n to gasp in shock. Y/n hugged the woman back and began rubbing her back in a comforting manner.

"Thank you so much." The woman said. Y/n continued to rub the woman's back, not knowing Spencer was watching her comfort the woman.

"L/n." Hotch called out to her, causing Spencer to look away, as Y/n looked back to Hotch. She excused herself from the woman's embrace and came to join the team, standing beside Spencer. "You did a really good job of defusing the situation, " Hotch said earnestly, causing Y/n to let out a small sigh of relief. "Let's head back to Quantico and debrief."

Y/n and the team headed back to Quantico and began to work on writing their reports. Y/n sighed and rubbed her eyes for what she felt was the thousandth time, everyone had finished and went home. Spencer looked over at Y/n who yawned and rolled her head, stretching out her neck.

Spencer stood and began to grab his things. "Y/n go home, it'll be there tomorrow." he said to her as he walked past her desk.

"Oh! Spencer, yes I'll go to the ball with you on Wednesday." Y/n said as she smiled at him. Spence smiled back at her and nodded his head before he turned and continued walking to the elevators, leaving Y/n behind in the empty office.

The sun rose on the Monday before the ball. Y/n groaned as she lifted her head from her desk as she heard her coworkers enter the bullpen, she rubbed her eyes sleepily as she turned her head in their direction.

"Y/n did you sleep here last night?" Penelope asked as she walked in beside Derek.

Y/n stretched and yawned as she looked around. "I uh- must've fallen asleep after I finished my report." Y/n said as she rubbed her eyes again. "I remember putting my report on Hotch's desk and sitting back down to gather my things and I fell asleep."

Spencer walked in behind JJ, carrying two to-go coffee cups, smiling at the sleepy Y/n at her desk. "You slept here." Spencer stated, walking over to her, holding out one of the cups to her.

"No, I just decided to wear yesterday's clothes and not brush my hair." Y/n said sarcastically before she took a sip of coffee.

"Ouch, Y/n's got bite in the morning." Derek said with a chuckled to which Y/n gave him a death glare. "Oof meow." he said, gesturing a clawing motion with his hand.

Hotch walked in with a chuckle overhearing their conversation. "L/n, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia why don't you girls take the day, go do girl things." he said with a smile. "Just keep your phone on you."

JJ and Emily looked at each other in disbelief as Penelope squealed and did a happy dance. Y/n saluted with a sleepy look as she sipped her coffee again.

"Rossi, Reid, and Morgan, we all have tuxs to get for Wednesday." Hotch said. Spencer watched as Y/n gathered her things into her white messenger bag before she stood, slinging it onto her shoulder.

"Spencie, thank you so much for the lifeline this morning." Y/n said as she raised her cup in his direction.

"Y/n! Let's go, we've got dress shopping to do!" Penelope shouted from the door to the bullpen, causing Y/n to cringe at the loudness of her voice.

Y/n turned around and motioned her hand in a lowering gesture. "Penny sweetie, too loud." Y/n whispered as she walked over to her, and slung her arm around Penelope's shoulders after she switched her coffee cup to the other hand. "Let's go bitches." Y/n said with a laugh as they walked to the elevators, to go shopping.

Y/n sat in the dress shop, watching JJ, Emily and Penelope come in and out of the fitting rooms, trying on different dresses. Y/n turned her head as her eyes glanced go the burgundy she had her eyes on.

"Girl, go get it." JJ said as she watched Y/n, the dress she decided on, hanging over her arm.

Y/n looked back to JJ, biting her lip. "Should I?" she asked as she began playing with her fingers.

"Oh hell yes." Emily said adjusting the dress she was trying on in the mirror.

Y/n nodded her head in determination, before she stood and walked over to the display her dress was hanging on, flagging down an employee for help. Y/n waited by the dressing room as she watch the employee take the dress off the display for her to try on. Y/n walked behind the curtain after the employee handed it to her.

Y/n stood in front of the mirror inside the fitting room, as she ran her hands down the tulle bodice. She took a deep breath and turned to exit the small room.

"Oh my God!" All of the girls said when they saw Y/n in the dress. The burgundy tulle of the skirt flowed around her perfectly.

"Does it look ok?" Y/n asked softly as she adjusted the sleeves, turning around to look in the mirror behind her.

"Yes, you do." JJ said as she came up behind her, rubbing her shoulders affectionately. "Look if you do your hair up..." She said as she demonstrated showing Y/n what she meant.

Y/n bit her lip as she looked at her reflection as JJ held her hair up. Emily came up behind the pair and smiled, leaning over Y/n's opposite shoulder.

"You know I wasn't sure about you at first but I've changed my mind about you now." Emily said as she draped a necklace she saw on a display on Y/n's neck. "I saw this necklace and I thought it was perfect." she said as she looked up from the necklace on Y/n's chest to her reflection.

JJ stepped away from Y/n and Emily, and went to look for a necktie that matched the color of Y/n's dress for Spencer to wear. JJ dragged Penelope into the search after they both paid for their dresses and accessories. Y/n smiled at Emily when she stepped away. Y/n went back into the dressing room to change back into she came into the store in. Emily took the necklace she found for herself and the one she found for Y/n, along with her dress, and went to the register to pay for her items.

Emily waited for the girls by the door of the shop. Y/n stepped out of the dressing room, the dress she was getting, draped over her arm as she gathered her bag from the couch she was previously occupying. She went to the register to pay for her desk, smiling as the woman put her dress in a dress bag before she stood next to Emily by the door, waiting for Penelope and JJ.

Once all the girls were ready they walked out of the shop and out to their cars. "Hey girls, why don't you guys take your things home and then come back to my apartment for some drinks and take out?" Y/n asked when they all reached their cars that were parked near each other.

"You got a deal sister. I'll bring the wine." Penelope said giddily.

Emily chuckled and shook her head as she hung her dress in the back of her car. "I'll bring face masks." she said with a wink to Y/n.

"JJ, what are you bringing?" Y/n asked, watching the woman in question put her dress in her car.

"I'm bringing my love and support." JJ said as she opened her driver's side door, putting her purse inside of the vehicle. She turned to the girls, leaning back against the back door. "I will bring the steamy emotion-filled, romantic movies."

"Bring magic mike, please." Penelope said, giving JJ a pouty face.

Y/n laughed with a shake of her head as she watched the girls get into their cars and begin to leave. Y/n loaded her things into the back of her car, careful not to wrinkle her dress in its bag. As Y/n sat in her car about to leave the parking lot her thoughts turned to the roses she had Penelope take to her home while they were on the case.

She began to drive home, her thoughts now turning to think of what Spencer was doing.

#karmawrites #moshymosh's masterlist #mgg x reader #remember me #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine smut #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #matthew gray gubler x reader #moshymosh writes

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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@ava-sr said: EE i do apologize that this is late, but maybe a small request because of my moblit-brainrot. which dates he would like to take you on? maybe like one of those guided painting classes? aGh all i know is that man is the absolute sweetest and i love him with all my heart

Types of dates with Moblit pt.1

{ Moblit x reader | tw:none | fluff | modern }

{ "Vanitas Still Life" 1662 by Edwaert Collier c. 1640 - after 1707 London or Leiden }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday.

I. Cuddling for hours at a time

you have to understand that in Moblit's overworked and stressful life, moments of respite are rare and far. He's so deprived of touch and love that it's a miracle how he has managed to function without even a beep. The thought of having someone to warm his bed, cradle his worries and put them to rest by simply combing through his hair, never crossed his mind despite having a hundred thoughts running through it per minute.

Some days he manages to forget your existence even, not out of some selfish desire or to belittle you, but out of disbelief, after all it's too good to be true.

You're too good to be true to him.

Your tender words pull him back each time he blindly steps closer to the edge, a never-ending spiral of self-destructive work tendencies awaiting him at the bottomless abyss. Your warm embrace shutting out the swarm of nagging voices meant to guilt him out of rest, to act as if the key to curing his sleep deprivation was to not acknowledge its existence, that fatigue symptoms could be erased by his own homemade placebo remedies.

As if your mere touch could turn anything to gold, and in his case, it did.

It was what made the difference between an anxiety inducing catastrophic day, and a mere rough stepping stone he could easily manoeuvre around leaving his pace steady and undisturbed.

Reminding that it's okay to fail, to give something your best only for it to crumble to dust. It's a process of trial and error, it takes time and patience.

You don't get to choose how well things end up working out, it's not up to you nor is it your place.

And that's why for him, his ideal place in the world is in your arms, to simply let the rise and fall of your chest lull him into comfortable numbness. His features softening as the oxytocin levels rise, courtesy of your warm embrace, soft skin providing just the right pressure against his own.

Laying on your shared bed together, the soft breeze coming from the open windows moves the thin curtains. Moblit is Holding you close as one of his arms sneak around you, fingertips tracing shapes up and down your back. Face buried in your shoulder as yours rests on top of his head, stray hairs almost tickling your nose when you brush against them.

The passing of time does little to his cotton filled mind, occasionally attempting to pull you even more closer as if it's possible. Legs tangled with yours under the heavy blanket despite him hogging most of it.

Every now and then, when a certain amount of time passes, he'd look at you with half-closed eyes, a lidded look of satisfaction before murmuring in his sleepy voice.

"Do you want to get up?" And despite his sincere words and warm tone, his body makes no move to detach itself from your side.

Does he know the soothing effect of the circles he keeps drawing up your back? Or how much him talking with his lips still pressed against your neck makes you melt just a bit.

Whatever it is, Moblit seems confident in his ability to keep you snuggled against him, tucked underneath the warm blanket and fluffy pillows almost muffling your answer.

II. Visiting a music bar

Preferably something with soft yellowish lights, small enough spaces not meant for dancing but to create an intimate atmosphere akin to a music venue.

A jazz club, maybe a brewery.

Dimmed sunlight seeping through the thin curtained window, shadow traces of people smoking outside while making small talk, cushioned bar stools placed around the long bar with a mirrored wall behind it as several aged bottles and fancy glasses with signatures decorate the wooden shelves.

The quiet chatter of people blurring behind the mellow music the band is playing on the nearby stage, smooth movement with relaxed postures as if they've done this a hundred times before, and they probably have.

You're sitting in one of the booths near the window, a private spot where you're far enough for people not to notice yet close enough to still hear the music flowing.

The beat is slow, hypnotising even that the minutes blur together.

Moblit giving you a smile as he comes back with your drinks, sitting opposite of you before handing you the cold glass, ice cubes clinking against each other as you raise the frosted rim to your lips, sugary sweet filling your senses, the cooling sensation of the drink slides down your throat.

There's a hint of citrus in it.

You've learned to trust Moblit's choice in drinks after being together for so long, he just knows what's going to taste good and which kind of drink you seem to need without having to say a word.

He seems comfortable here, even referring to the bartender by his name like they've been friends for a while, and maybe they have judging by the out-of-script welcoming he gave Moblit.

One conversation starts another and both of you find it so easy to talk to each other without boundaries or second thoughts, the smiles and occasional chuckles almost never leaving your features while nursing on your drinks.

He tells you stories from his work and about his co-workers. You find yourself entranced by his seemingly abusered line of work and the amount of chuckle worthy instances a single work day can offer.

That one time Hange knocked the liquid incense oils that someone Levi brought to freshen the place, well to their luck the oils fell directly on an open flame from the nearby scented candle which resulted in the fire spreading through the liquid alcohol between the broken glass.

And despite the feeling of dread, from seeing his files catch on fire this story brings him, the sound of your chocked laughter as you almost spilled your drink over your clothes, made it all worth it for him.

III. Antique shop

There was something to be said about Moblit's yearning for especially old looking things, trinkets, crumpled maps, tea stained letters and silvered mirrors.

You can't miss the gleam in his eyes as he opens the antique store door open for you the chime of the door bells following after. The smell of burning incense lingering in the air alongside the slow ticking of an old wooden clock.

The look on his face is of pure fascination, his eyes following the trail of the objects lined on the tables, from the old oil paintings with hand carved frames to the crystals reflecting sunlight next to the colourful stones. Observing as he carefully walks behind you through the narrow spaces between the tables and shelves.

Pulling your attention whenever he finds a particular curious thing to show you as if it's an offering, it can range from music boxes with a really familiar melody that you can't quite remember or a beautifully shaped rose quartz stone that feels cool against your palm.

Whatever he brings, it often manages to intrigue you in some way. Moblit could always notice things other people would skip over otherwise, scanning the tables was like a small treasure hunt.

He'd always pick one or two leather journals, almost filled to the brim with ink scribbled pages and tea stained spots, personal diaries dating back to the 90's and if he's lucky they might edge towards the 80'. He likes to read them, live in someone else's shoes even for a split second, puzzle pieces falling in place as he figures out what kind of person the author was.

Of course sharing his discoveries with you while having lunch later, not out of pride nor to show off, but out of genuine respect to other people's lives and their dedication for leaving behind a piece of their soul.

IX. Roadtrip

It's something he plans months ahead in advance, he genuinely wants to make the best out of the few weeks off both of you got to spend together. Making sure to plan a set of destinations, preparing snacks and food, packing your essentials and renting a big enough van.

A small getaway even, to completely leave everything behind and set out on a carefully planned adventure with the one he loves most, you.

Enjoying the fresh weather, the high sun and fast wind as both of you roll down the windows, fields of green and yellow meet you alongside the road the further away you move from the city.

Although be careful; the Moblit behind the wheel is a much much more different than the one you know, he's using all what remains of his self-restraint not to speed down the highway and swirl, the thought crosses his mind every hour or so and he's visibly agitated when you're forced to drive behind a particularly slow driver.

You might even have to remind him of the speed limit occasionally just so you don't end up with a pile of speeding tickets at the end of the trip.

It's like all his usually cautious and calculating demner evaporates into mist the second he touches the steering wheel, Temptations of just flooring it while high on adrenaline still linger in the back of his mind.

Beside that, the trip is a relatively calm one as you get to bask in all the new and different places you'll get to visit. Try new food and walk through different city streets, just the experience of something out of the usual is enough to satisfy Mobilt. Not to mention the fact he gets to experience it with you and just wander around without a purpose or care as long as you're together.

He'll definitely keep in mind what sort of things you seem to like, what intrigues you and the kind of reactions you show. He even started an album filled with mostly your pictures and the things you've seen.

It's most relaxing and filled with low stakes, nothing too fancy but nothing too boring either. Walking the thin line perfectly.

X. Visiting a museum

But not just any museum you see, one centred around natural history. Displaying everything from ancient fossils to full on skeleton displays of a 122 foot titanosaur, depictions of distant relatives of homosapiens and modern evolution trees of the current animals.

Moblit guiding you through the shiny tile floor and between the exhibits while holding your hand, eyes gleaming with passion as he goes on and on about each thing you glance at. Making all the trivial facts seem more fascinating than they have any right to be.

The squeaking sound of footsteps echoing on the too clean floors as four children pass you by, racing each other towards the iron suits of armour on display. They almost fall over the red ropes from leaning too close in, their caregiver seemingly busy talking with a security guard over the 'smoking not allowed' sign.

You spare them a final glance before following Moblit through the corridor leading to the world history & old inventions section. Soon enough he steals your attention again as he begins talking about the first airplane prototype that you can't help but be enamoured by.

Despite there being a sign framed on the wall that sums up the jest of Moblit's lecture, he manages to make it not only less boring but add his own twist and uncommon known facts to it that it feels less of a history trip and of an interesting conversation.

He has so much knowledge that he's so eager not to only share but hear your own opinion and take on it, valuing your view no matter what amount of knowledge you have over the subject.

XI. Painting together

It's an idea that you offhandedly suggested after your museum visit, after all spending an hour in the Impressionism era gallery did leave an impression on you. And so the suggestion of checking out an art store for some acrylics and a couple brushes left your lips on the way home without a second thought.

Well little did you know that the small suggestion managed to latch into Moblit's brain for weeks after, making him spend his free time searching and gaining information on painting and how to start, he even managed to find some really good classes having a limited time course sale

That's how both of you end up in a guided painting class, seated next to each other with aprons on and a pallet to mix paint tubes in. You'll find out how much of a fast learner Moblit is, so much that most of the class he spends guiding your hand through the steps and offering his help whenever possible, although he still remembers not to be overbearing and still gives you space.

Both of you are in your own bubble from the class, being with him makes you feel easy and more reassured. He's like your very own comfort corner that you seek in every party, except that he can walk around with you and always looks out for you.

And whatever you end up putting on that canvas, Moblit will cherish more than any renaissance painting, will even insist on hanging it somewhere in the apartment.

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aricazorel · 3 years

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"How ticklish are you?" suggested by @ljandersen

pairing: Kaidan Alenko x Kori Reese (my OC); set during ME1; 2115 words

The Normandy was once again docked at a port for resupply. Only this time it wasn't some backwater planet. This time it was a popular tourist spot established by human private investors. With a limited Alliance presence, Avalon was the perfect haven for some less than reputable people. But at the moment it was a location for the SR1 crew’s shore leave.

Shore leave that Doctor Chakwas insisted the crew needed to take. A 24 hour layover at Avalon fit the bill with little to no argument from Shepard much to Kaidan’s surprise. Of course that left 24 hours of free time for the crew to get into mischief. He had a feeling Kori might be one of those who ended up on report if she wasn't properly entertained. But she wouldn't appreciate a keeper. Maybe she'd be okay with someone who was more than friends.

There wasn't exactly a label for what they were. Their relationship wasn't something they wanted to advertise. It wasn't even something that should have occurred. Fraternization regs. His own personal rules. Reese’s tendencies to be exceedingly private because of her past. All of that was supposed to work against them. Somehow it hadn't.

After something finagling the two lieutenants had managed to sneak off to enjoy a day of shore leave without any other crew members present. Applying his habit of being thorough in his duties to researching the Avalon colony, Kaidan had discovered a little used beach some ways from the spaceport. Convincing Reece to trust him, they rented a skycar and headed to the beach. Slightly cooler temperature wise than the more popular beaches near the spaceport, it reminded him of the ones he visited near Vancouver on Earth in his youth.

Of course the first thing Reese had commented on was the temperature. How much cooler it was then at the spaceport, and he knew she hated being cold. He grinned at her as he casually took off his blue Alliance hoodie.

“Want to borrow this?” He offered nonchalantly. He'd worn it over his T-shirt having been prepared for the temperature. He suggested she take one as well, but Reese did as she wanted.

The younger Lieutenant glared at him as she snatched the hoodie from his hand and put it on. “You did this on purpose.”

“Me?” He said innocently, pointing at himself. “I suggested that you should bring one.”

“You didn't tell me why,” she accused as she pulled the too-long sleeves of the borrowed hoodie up to her elbows.

“You're a smart person. I thought you could figure it out,” Kaidan replied with a smirk as he began walking down the beach away from the skycar.

“Ass,” Reese grumbled as he stopped to glance back at her

Extending a hand behind him he said, “Don't be that way, Kori. I thought this could be …something just for us.”

“Just for us?” She echoed as she walked up to him, staring at his offered hand.

“Well yeah,” Alenko replied shyly. “I mean with everything else we've …done, I thought some time together off the ship would be nice …kind of like a date.”

“A date?” She repeated uncertainly.

Kaden nodded. “Maybe we aren't there yet but –“

“We shagged like rabbits in the back of the Mako, Kaidan,” Reese pointed out smugly.

Alenko arched an eyebrow as a satisfied grin spread across his face. “We did, didn't we?”

“Really? You are going to be smug –“

She was cut off when he took her hand and pulled her to his side. “Can we please just take a walk along this beach which reminds me at home and pretend we …could be a normal couple?”

His whiskey-colored eyes pleaded with her to indulge him this one time. He was well aware Reese thought he was a romantic at heart, a sentiment shared by Ashley. He had already gone way over the line concerning keeping things strictly professional with Reese anyhow. Walking down a remote beach acting as if they weren't on a life-or-death mission for a few hours wouldn’t do much more damage if anyone found out. At least it was more explainable than the Mako.

“I --we can do that,” Reese agreed as she slowly slid an arm around his waist.

Kaidan grinned as he mimicked her action with his arm around her shoulders. They walked in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves gently crash against the shore. The sun shone brightly overhead as a cloud or two moved in front of it occasionally. It was comforting to just spend time with someone he cared about without any expectations. It was nice to be somewhere that reminded him of home. It was just nice to be with Reese.

“This beach reminds you of home?” The younger tech’s voice called up to him. Alenko glanced down to see grey eyes looking back at him with a curious expression.

“Well yeah. Even the temperature. Vancouver is along the coast, remember? My parents have some land in the countryside,” he explained. “We used to go whenever we could, not just in the to swim. Sometimes just to take a walk.”

“A beach is supposed to be warm,” Reese insisted.

“And how would you know?”

“Just 'cause I was a colony kid doesn't mean I've never been to a beach,” she answered indignantly. “Moirae was like Georgia. One of the reasons my parents chose it for colonization and terraforming …Georgia has beaches too.”

“That doesn't mean you've been to a beach. That's just show that you know what one is,” Kaidan observed with a teasing grin.

“Alenko –“

He kissed her quickly. “I'm teasing, Kori.”

She huffed as she said, “My grandma used to talk take us swimming during the summer. Trying to help me feel normal while learning how to cope with my biotics.”

“That's cool,” Alenko commented, using 20th century slang that both annoyed and endeared him to her more.

“Actually it was hot,” Reese said with a wink.

Kaidan chuckled as he hugged her to his side. “And that is why you hate being cold and why you have a stash of blankets in your bunk I suppose.”

“Do not mock the stash of blankets,” Reese said seriously. “They have kept me from climbing into your bunk. You're warm.”

Alenko shook his head. “I should thank the blanket stash for keeping us out of trouble then. As nice as it might be to go to sleep with you in my arms. “

“Are you getting all mushy on me, Alenko?”

“Maybe just a little. No one else is around so …”

Reese shook her head as they continued to walk down the deserted beach. “I haven't walked a beach in quite a while.”

Kaidan grinned, glad that his idea had been a good one. “Did you ever just take walks along the beach on Moirae?”

The Lieutenant regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. “Kori, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –“

“You probably don't know but colony kids have dances in high school. Just like you Earthborn kids do,” Reese interjected, ignoring his attempt to apologize. She went on as she gazed out at the ocean. “Granted my high school wasn't that big but we managed to still have dances. Our junior prom was supposed to be on the beach. Everyone was excited. It was going to be my first formal. I even had a dress picked out. No date of course but a few of us girls were just gonna go together in a group.

Kaidan watched as she paused, a wistful look on her face. She rarely talked about Moirae. She was more apt to talk about her time in Georgia but to be truthful she didn't often talk about her past at all. He probably knew more than anyone else on the SR-1 but even that was a smattering of whatever she let slip when her guard was down.

“The short version is that it didn't happen, and I never got to attend a formal dance,” the tech concluded with a shrug of the shoulders.

She began to walk again but was stopped by Kaidan’s hand on her arm. “You don't have to act like it isn't a big deal.”

“But that's just it. Missing a prom isn't a big deal. It was just a stupid dance.”

“Maybe but it was more to you. It was something you were looking forward to, something I think you were actually excited about,” Kaidan said as he brought her back to him. “I know the destruction of your colony took away your family and your home, but it also took away experiences that you could have had. Things you should have had. You can't get the exact experience back but maybe when this mission is over we can try to make up for that in some small way.”

“You mean arrange for me to go to prom?”

“Well no, not exactly, but definitely something requiring formal attire. A dress.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Now you just want to see me in a dress.”

“I’ve seen you in less,” he pointed out as he placed his hands on her hips.

As he absentmindedly made lazy circles with his thumbs, she huffed. “So that is where your mind is, techboy.”

“I think I’m allowed,” he replied as he noticed her beginning to fidget. Frowning he asked, “Something wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

Not convinced he stopped his ministrations and watched her fidgeting cease. An idea began to form as a wicked grin spread across his face. He lightly caressed her hips again but this time working his way up the side of her ribcage. She wiggled and began giggling.

“Alenko! Stop!”

As she backed away, he stared at hie wide eyed. “Kori, how ticklish are you?”

“That is need to know information and you, Lt. Alenko, don’t need to know,” she replied holding her hands up in front of her as a makeshift barrier.

“Oh, but I think I do need to know, Lt. Reese,” he countered as he began walking towards her with purpose.

“Aw, hell no!” she yelled as she began running from him.

He laughed as the tech began sprinting back towards the skycar. He gave pursuit, sorely tempted to use his biotics to halt her retreat. But that would be cheating, and Reese would definitely not like that. In the end he settled for catching up with her and tackling her.

She let out a shriek as they fell unceremoniously to the sandy ground. Kaidan gave a roar of laughter as he declared, “Got ‘cha!”

With Reese already struggling to escape, he immediately began to tickle her again, determined to discover just how ticklish she was. Her laughter was music to his ears as they rolled along the beach. He’d only rarely heard her giggle let alone laugh as if nothing could stop her. As she twisted and turned underneath him, he discovered to his delight she was very ticklish nearly everywhere.

The wheels in Alenko’s head began turning as he stopped tickling her. That weakness was definitely something he could exploit later. Grey eyes looked at him as tears of laughter slide down her cheeks. He leaned down and kissed her sweetly.

As she hummed her contentment Kaidan murmured against her lips. “Take shore leave with me after this mission.”

Reese pulled back just a bit as she said, “You’re serious?”

Kaidan nodded even though he was surprised as she was that he had uttered the words to begin with. She blinked and cupped his cheek. “You’re serious enough about us you’d want to see more of me after this mission…oryou just want to tickle me some more?”

Alenko grinned. “Maybe it’s both. And maybe I can find more places where you are ticklish…Ones I need to remove certain articles of clothing to discover…”

“Are you coming onto me, Alenko?”

Kaidan smirked. “I thought I was already on you, Reese.”

The tech rolled her eyes as he leaned down and kissed her again. “Will you?”

Reese made an amused sound before asking, “If I say yes, are you going to stop kissing me?”

“No.”

“Then yes.”

Kaidan grinned as he kept his word and continued kissing the Lt. Happy to have something to look forward to and happy that thing involved Reese. Happy to know she looked forward to it as well. As the waves crashed around them, he was once again reminded of home and how Kori now felt like that to him. And that he would never regret it. Ever.

#trilogyappreciationweek #mass effect #kaidan alenko #kori reese #kaidan x female original character #broken road

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evil-is-relative · 3 years

Note

📔

The fanfiction I daydream about most nowadays (besides a Miraculous one, but since I've never written for that fandom you're probably not asking about it ^_^; ) is what would have happed had Tyr been the Dragonborn. In Dragon Kin, I always headcannoned that the reason Ysmir was the LDB so young was because her father got killed by the Thalmor. I also sort of headcannon that the prophesy isn't exactly "last Dragonborn ever" (unless they fail, oc), but last Dragonborn bloodline/dynasty. This is entirely for my own convenience in Darva existing, though she does end up being the reason Alduin is once and for all defeated.

(I am wearing a wrist brace rn and it is VERY hard to type -_-)

The main reason I haven't written this story is because I have SO MANY other projects going on, and I'm not sure where to start it. Tyr's early life just kind of goes into the beginning of the game seamlessly, but without telling it first, his reactions make very little sense.

AAAAAAAAAAnd this became very long. I won't take up too much of your dash.

Like Ysmir's story, Tyr's story begins LONG before the game events. He and his father, Orien (who he named his son after, if you're confused) were hidden by Blades away from the Medes during the Interregnum, and just sort of never came back out of hiding. Orien Sr. wasn't planning on passing this burden down, but then Tyr's mother just sort of worked her way into his heart, and Tyr was born. During a hunting trip in the mountains between The Rift and Winterhold when he was about ten, he and YoungUlfric ended up being treed by the same angry giant. They bonded over this near-death experience, and became friends. Growing up on stories of True Nordiness, Ulfric enthusiastically pronounced them blood-brothers, and Tyr cluelessly agreed. Neither Hoag nor Orien was thrilled with this development.

After a Morag Tong assassin came after Orien for reasons I won't get into here, he and the Blades decided maybe a move was a good idea. They moved into the Grey Quarter, who took one look at the Happy Half-Nord Child and decided he needed a dose of good old Dunmer Cynicism if he wasn't going to be walked all over his entire life. Tyr learned to take great pride in the heritage of both sides of his family, though Ulfric never seemed interested. While Windhelm under Hoag was more welcoming than it later would be, he didn't exactly encourage intermingling, an attitude Ulfric absorbed.

When Tyr was twelve, the Morag Tong succeeded in killing Orien by targeting Tyr's mother instead, and he lost both parents. Not knowing the Blades would care for him, Ulfric moved him into the Palace of Kings with him, where he lived for a few months. The grief from losing his parents and being suddenly stuck in a place where everyone passive-aggressively disapproved of his half-Dunmer heritage took its toll on him, and his thu'um started to develop. Hoag assumed it was his True Nord son who was showing a natural aptitude with the Voice, and after a few shut-down attempts to correct this, Ulfric saw how pleased his father was with him, and went along with it. Tyr saw this as a huge betrayal, because not only did Ulfric lie, he prevented his friend from being sent somewhere actually safe, denied him the opportunity to control this new ability, and without him, Hoag sent him back to the Grey Quarter, where the Blades and the local Dunmer took up raising him collectively.

Anyway, that's what set up a lifetime of mixed feelings about his Nordic side and the ways different races interact (stupidly, is mostly how he'd summarize it), a simmering resentment for destiny thanks to all the Oblivion Crisis stole from three separate generations of his family, the Mede Empire, and a subconscious but driving need for a close family.

When he was sixteen, a Dunmer from Morrowind came through, worrying everyone in the Grey Quarter when he declared he was going to join the Companions of Jorrvaskr. His name was Athis, and he wanted to be an elite warrior, and if that took showing these human mercenaries that their opinions on elves is a bunch of bs, he'd put up with it (much to the skepticism of the Grey Quarter Dunmer, who had actually been putting up with it). Tyr, at loose ends and now legally an adult, decided to join him.

He was there only a few months when news of war with the Dominion reaches them. Ulfric abandoned High Hrothgar to fight, and upon learning that Tyr had joined the Companions (kinda sorta not been accepted yet), begged him to join with him, and promising to teach him the thu'um. Tyr's forgiving nature bit him in the butt, and he was captured with Ulfric and held in Thalmor prison until the end of the war, only released a year after it ended, at the age of twenty-one. He returned to Windhelm briefly, to find the Blades that had raised him had been taken by Thalmor, and his childhood friend had just finished slaughtering an entire city (Markarth Incident). Disgusted and disillusioned, Tyr wandered for a while, mapping out the ruins of Oblivion Gates in Skyrim and searching for a purpose. Eventually, he returned to Jorrvaskr, and took the Beast Blood.

After Hoag's death, and driven by his imprisonment at the hands of the Thalmor and subsequently taking it out on the only elves available to him, Windhelm under Ulfric became a steadily more hostile place to non-humans. The Dunmer asked Tyr to come intercede for them, because as his sworn blood-brother, Ulfric couldn't actually dismiss Tyr honorably. Tyr agreed, but Ulfric was on his way out the door, and simply had Tyr discuss it with him on the road to Solitude, explaining that he was going to make a case for Skyrim ceding from the Empire. Being no fan of the Empire and no fan of Thalmor, Tyr agreed that was something they should seriously consider, but ended up walking out when he realized Ulfric was going to challenge the young High King over it rather than talk. Had he realized Ulfric was going to use the thu'um, he might have intervened, and bitterly regretted leaving rather than talking Ulfric around.

Tyr stays out of the Civil War entirely, too jaded by the Empire to join the Legion, and too flat-out angry with Ulfric to even consider the Stormcloaks. The next time he sees Ulfric is entirely by accident, and the two get into an argument that ends with an Imperial ambush of the camp, and they are both arrested.

And thus starts the game.

I'm actually going to end this here. I might add on if there's interest, but for now, my wrist brace needs to go back on , and I've been typing for a long time.

Hope you liked it.

#Tyr #my OC #asks #thanks for asking!#fanfiction I haven't written but as you can see I daydream thoroughly #Dragonborn #Skyrim #Ulfric Stormcloak #writing #my writing

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plasmodiumheracles · 3 years

Text

Rambling time.

Just watched Godzilla vs Kong.

I don't read the novel yet but, I just don't understand why the human in Godzilla side of story is.... so one dimensional??? And barely add anything to the movie?

Also, why do we have to follow the roadtrip of Russell's daughter and her friends rather than Russell? despite the underwhelming human plot in KOTM, I am genuinely interested in his character progression (as a non believer to, maybe not a believer, but at least someone that try to do right by Serizawa' life work i.e, the Titan). I was hoping the movie will have more infos on the inner-working of Monarch post-KotM and how it approaches and balances both worlds, how it monitors the Titan, how the Monarch interpreted Godzilla's action, how the giant lizard take care of his dominion's?? Alas.

We get, well, this tiresome trio. Things happen to them that serves as exposition but it's just so clumsy? Evil corporation is evil corporation, but that doesnt mean that they lack the agency to convince us viewers of their purpose, rather than spouting cliche villain lines to the misunderstood underdog.

They keep adding in these new human characters, rather than progressing with the genuinely sympathetic ones (which unfortunately had been killed, that is, Cranston's Joe Brody and Watanabe's Serizawa) and the could-be-more (Russell sr., Vivienne, Dr.Chen). Sure the novel expanded them more, but it's such a shame the way the human translated into the movies).

Also, has a tiny beef with how one-sided it is that most sympathetic scenes went to Kong's. And how all Godzilla's appearances are set in a mostly evil tone? Which felt like a disservice to KotM.

About the Kong Whisperer. Aren't the lady science and Jia also from Monarch? I don't understand why isn't she and Russell communicating or relaying information? Are they from different branches? But both of their subjects have this epic dispute so why aren't they working together? Does the caring of their Titan supercede other human's lives?

Kong got this supposedly loving people that care for him in Monarch yet they barely showed any emotions when most of their fleets are destroyed, which I assumed have a lot of collateral damage, and the disgraced prof lose a brother yet it barely touched on, even though when he said Science Lady is an old friend and dismissive of him especially when he showed fear to Kong (which, understandable since KotM), calling him a coward and really, it feels like these people keeps Kong captive in the pretense of safety and self-righteousness?

Or maybe I'm the one not paying attention. Sigh.

I mean, the first scene we saw Russell and he and his people feels like it is doing a lot more to mitigate public fear.

Furthermore, Apex , Mechagodzilla, and Serizawa's son? Deserve a better storytelling rather than a footnote.

Idk, I want to like this movie. But KotM has this certain colourful charm that GvK lacks. It feels like there's a movie missing between GvK and KotM. Wanted to enjoy the monster fight but my enjoyment is diminished by my overactive brain.

#godzilla vs kong #godzilla #king kong #rant #gvk spoilers #godzilla vs. kong

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

TLTNL- THE SECRET RIDDLE

Sirius detested the now familiar feeling of dread as he accepted the book from Prongs, how uneasy everyone sat on the edge of their seat, how common place it was to be starting yet another chapter with tension. It was for a random student, and that somehow made it even worse for their own past school years still somehow overlapping into Harry's life now, when all they'd ever wanted for him was a careless seven years of school free of of everything but fun. Still, he began with a forced cheerful tone of voice, no matter how dower the situation started.

Katie was removed to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries the following day, by which time the news that she had been cursed had spread all over the school, though the details were confused and nobody other than Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Leanne seemed to know that Katie herself had not been the intended target.

Oh, and Malfoy knew, said Harry to Ron and Hermione, who continued their new policy of feigning deafness whenever Harry mentioned his Malfoy-Is-a-Death-Eater theory.

"Depends on how often you bring this up on how offended you should be," Sirius said cheekily. "Once a day is a bit much pup, you only need to repeat yourself when it's relevant."

"Hark, look who's talking!" Remus looked at him, dumbfounded he could say anything so opposite to the words he constantly spewed, or more accurately, the joke he so often threw around.

"Moony, whatever do you mean?" Sirius batted his eyes innocently, still fooling no one.

Harry had wondered whether Dumbledore would return from wherever he had been in time for Monday night's lesson,

Remus scoffed at once, the desire still very present to laugh at anyone who thought Dumbledore would be late.

but having had no word to the contrary, he presented himself outside Dumbledore's office at eight o'clock, knocked, and was told to enter. There sat Dumbledore looking unusually tired;

Lily sighed softly for him. He really was getting on in age, and was now living through the same war a second time. It would be taxing on any man.

his hand was as black and burned as ever,

"I'm beginning to worry that's going to be a permanent injury," James muttered in genuine concern.

but he smiled when he gestured to Harry to sit down. The Pensieve was sitting on the desk again, casting silvery specks of light over the ceiling.

"Are we still going through memories?" Sirius asked without much interest. "What else from his past do we really need to know?" He still wasn't entirely sure what had been relevant about the first one.

"Maybe he met someone in that orphanage he grew up in, who could be important," Lily offered.

"I can't see it," James disagreed. "If he hates Muggles, I'm betting that's where it all would have started."

"Not to mention, it's impossible to imagine Voldemort with anything resembling a friend, he just has lackeys," Remus sniffed.

Dumbledore began by asking him about his very busy week, confirming that he'd been the one to witness Katie's accident. When Harry agreed and asked how she was, he went on to explain the girl was very lucky, it had only touched the barest amount of her skin through a hole in her glove. Luckily, Professor Snape had been able to prevent the rapid spread of the curse.

"And he couldn't have taken it upon himself? For research purposes of course," James muttered bitterly. He really couldn't even think why Snape had bothered, the slime-ball had never done anything that didn't benefit him in some way.

Lily gave him a scathing look for that one though, she wished they'd show a bit more gratitude like they would any other human being doing this. She understood what had happened to Sirius and Harry last year had only worsened matters, but couldn't they at least keep it civil?

Harry asked why him? Why not Madam Pomfrey?

Phineas Nigellus' portrait called him impertinent, he'd never have allowed a student to ask such a question in his day!

"Oh how I've missed that," Sirius rolled his eyes heavily at that fart being brought up again.

Harry ignored him as Dumbledore explained Snape had far more experience with the Dark Arts.

"That is, true," Remus grudgingly agreed, though why Dumbledore had to make that sound like a good thing he couldn't fathom. After all, it was his specialty with the Dark Arts that had put him in with the Death Eaters in the first place, so clearly his superior knowledge hadn't been gained in any good light like the Order had.

St. Mungo's was sending him hourly reports, and she was expected to make a full recovery.

Harry asked where he was this weekend, but Dumbledore sidestepped, saying that would come in time.

"I should hope so, as much as he's been alluding to it from the start," James huffed, very sick of having so many answers dangled over his head.

Dumbledore pulled another vile of memories from his pocket, but Harry quickly said before he could dump them into the Pensive, telling him about Mundungus.

Dumbledore agreed he'd been made aware, and he'd gone underground after that confrontation. However, Harry need now be rest assured no more of Sirius' things would fall out of his possession.

"As if there's anything left." Sirius rolled his eyes, knowing full well any good thief would have already made off with anything of remote value.

Harry still kept going, asking if McGonagall had told Dumbledore his suspicions about Malfoy.

Harry felt an icy chill, as if a dementor had just breathed down his neck. He was just so sure, for a solid moment he was confident, but the vicious stab from within stopped him a hair's breadth before he could lock in on the idea anymore than an errant thought. He went cross-eyed, let out a vicious breath of pain, but as always was forced to wait, no matter how impatiently, for it all to make sense.

Dumbledore agreed he'd been informed, and he would be investigating anyone and everyone in Katie's accident. For now, they needed to focus on this.

Harry felt slightly resentful at this: If their lessons were so very important, why had there been such a long gap between the first and second?

"Yeah, I can agree with that," Sirius said with all the cheer he could. No one had missed Harry's little problem over there, but they were leaving him to it as clearly he was controlling whatever was troubling his mind.

However, he said no more about Draco Malfoy, but watched as Dumbledore poured the fresh memories into the Pensieve and began swirling the stone basin once more between his long-fingered hands.

Dumbledore began by reminding where the story had left off, that young Merope had been in London, expecting.

Harry asked how he knew she'd been in London.

In answer, he swilled the contents of the Pensieve as Harry had seen him swill them before, much as a gold prospector sifts for gold. Up out of the swirling, silvery mass rose a little old man revolving slowly in the Pensieve, silver as a ghost but much more solid, with a thatch of hair that completely covered his eyes.

Dumbledore explained this as Caractacus Burke, founder of the shop whence the very necklace they'd just been discussing had come from.

The man spoke, revolving slowly on the spot as all like him did in the Pensive, of her coming along trying to sell Slytherin's locket. He'd been skeptical of course, but upon finding the real thing, gave her ten Galleons for it. Best deal he'd ever made.

"That's, practically thievery!" Lily yelped in a mixture of shock and disgust.

"That's the Burke store we know and loath," James agreed, his face drawn for this poor woman who had probably never even been outside her house before all this. That ten Galleons was likely the most gold she ever saw in her life, and she likely put it all to her infant. This all managed to grow more depressing the more he thought about it, that Merope may have actually made a good mother if she'd survived.

Dumbledore gave the Pensieve an extra-vigorous shake and Caractacus Burke descended back into the swirling mass of memory from whence he had come.

Harry was outraged for that price, but Dumbledore explained the circumstances of her being alone and pregnant, desperate for anything to get her through.

Harry insisted she could do magic, she could have gotten food or anything else she wanted.

"Not necessarily," Remus frowned in confusion of Harry. "The Weasley's situation should be enough for you to realize magic doesn't make us all at ease with life."

Harry wanted to persist his point, that the Weasleys struggled for money because of spellbooks and other things they had no choice but to buy, but food and other things should come along with much more ease? Then he really realized whom he was speaking with, and shut his trap. He'd never asked Remus for specifics of his life outside of here, and he didn't feel it his place to. You didn't need to, to grasp how hard life had been on him. Merope, an unpracticed witch with no one else to help, would have it even worse.

Dumbledore agreed perhaps, but it was of his guessing again that Merope had stopped using magic when Tom Sr. left her, she no longer wanted to be a witch.

James shook his head slowly as he heard that, he couldn't even imagine it. With the way Meropes life had gone though, he could almost see why she'd think that. Still, he wasn't convinced Dumbledore had the mark on this one, he could picture any number of things going on with her situation.

It could have been more reasons, her emotions so in despair it had sapped her powers, that had been known to happen. In any case, they were about to witness the results of Merope in the act of refusing to raise her wand, even to save her own life.

"She may not have even been able to, or known how," Lily said quietly as she brushed at her hair. "Birthing a child can be quite the complicated thing, if there aren't doctors around any number of problems could arise. She may have even just been sick, not taking care of herself properly, there's really no telling what magic could have done for her even if she had been around it."

Harry quietly asked, she wouldn't even stay alive for her son?

Lily's breath caught hard in her throat, she felt smothered at the very mention of this. Her own final words echoed through her mind, that she was willing to die for her child, leaving him without his parents as she'd know full well. She had to force herself to stop there, lest the pain of it all push into the here and now, reminding herself that whatever this woman's situation, no matter how much it was like her own, had already happened. Her's hadn't. Even if she had to choose the same in the end, it would still be her choice.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, asking if this could be Harry feeling sorry for Lord Voldemort?

"Pity for the mother doesn't quite spew out into the spawn," Sirius huffed.

Harry quickly disagreed, he was just saying she'd had a choice, unlike his mother.

"Of course I did!" Harry's mother's voice came out a sharp snap, and he looked startled, even wounded for it. She'd kept herself very well put together, he'd had no idea what she'd been thinking of moments ago. "I could have, have-" she couldn't even say the despicable words, of letting Voldemort take him from her. "But I didn't, and I never would. There's always a choice Harry."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the only thing he could offer for his question he hadn't really thought through. The echo of the dementors again played through his mind. Voldemort had told her to step aside, and she'd refused, hence his very life he breathed now.

Dumbledore gently reminded she'd had a choice too.

Lily's face only burned that much more, that Dumbledore had to be the one to remind him of that. The loss of the life Harry had been deprived of never got easier to hear, that his headmaster would be the one to say that to him.

So had Merope, and she'd chosen death in spite of the son she was leaving behind. He asked Harry not to judge her too harshly, she did not have the same courage as Lily Potter had.

Dumbledore rose then, and Harry asked where they were going now.

Dumbledore said into his own memory. He should find it rich in detail and satisfyingly accurate.

Sirius snorted loudly, just to help ease some of the tension back out of the room for someone else showing such a high opinion of themselves. He was still ignored.

Harry bent over the Pensieve; his face broke the cool surface of the memory and then he was falling through darkness again. . . . Seconds later, his feet hit firm ground; he opened his eyes and found that he and Dumbledore were standing in a bustling, old-fashioned London street.

Dumbledore brightly, pointed himself out, a tall figure crossing the road in front of a horse-drawn milk cart.

This younger Albus Dumbledore's long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing.

"I'm sure he was very hard to spot, you obviously needed this guidance," James did get a chuckle out of that at least, wrapping one arm tighter still around his wife who still looked distant.

Harry complimented the suite before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled as they followed his younger self a short distance,

Sirius full out laughed for that, while Harry didn't look remotely abashed.

finally passing through a set of iron gates into a bare courtyard that fronted a rather grim, square building surrounded by high railings. He mounted the few steps leading to the front door and knocked once.

"Who only knocks once?" Remus muttered at that random detail.

After a moment or two, the door was opened by a scruffy girl wearing an apron.

Dumbledore introduced himself, and asked to speak to the matron. The woman appraised him for a moment before bellowing at the top of her lungs over her shoulder for a Mrs. Cole.

The boys had no more been expecting Sirius to shout that at the top of his lungs, but Lily still managed to startle hardest of all, right out of her revere.

"Was that necessary?" She demanded of him.

"Yes," he agreed without looking over, but a satisfied smirk none-the-less in place he had her full, undivided attention again.

Harry heard a distant voice shouting something in response. The girl turned back to Dumbledore and invited him in.

Dumbledore stepped into a hallway tiled in black and white; the whole place was shabby but spotlessly clean. Harry and the older Dumbledore followed. Before the front door had closed behind them, a skinny, harassed-looking woman came scurrying toward them. She had a sharp-featured face that appeared more anxious than unkind, and she was talking over her shoulder to another aproned helper as she walked toward Dumbledore.

She was prescribing new sheets for Eric, who was oozing from those chicken pox of his.

"Did, chickens attack them?" James asked slowly, with genuine concern for wherever this place was.

"No, it's a Muggle disease, makes your skin get red spots all over that itch." Lily shrugged, recalling her fascination as a youngster when her whole class had them for a time except her, even Petunia had gotten them.

"What's that have to do with chickens?" He prodded further, pleased more than anything she was back to chatting with them again without that horror of her future in her eyes, or some secret she wasn't sharing with them in her smile.

"It's more like, it sort of looks like a chickens pecked you all over," she tried to visualize it for him, but when James just looked more baffled than ever she burst into giggles and waved Sirius on.

Then her eyes fell upon Dumbledore and she stopped dead in her tracks, looking as astonished as if a giraffe had just crossed her threshold.

"That's about as likely with this man around," Sirius agreed.

Mrs. Cole blinked. Apparently deciding that Dumbledore was not a hallucination,

"I still have those moments," James agreed, deciding for now to stop lingering on the idea of a chicken chasing a bundle of kids around.

she said feebly, to come up to her office.

She led Dumbledore into a small room that seemed part sitting room, part office. It was as shabby as the hallway and the furniture was old and mismatched. She invited Dumbledore to sit on a rickety chair and seated herself behind a cluttered desk, eyeing him nervously.

Dumbledore spoke of the reason for his visit, Tom Riddle.

She asked if he was family, and Dumbledore explained no, he was a teacher and here to place Tom in his school, Hogwarts.

"I'm surprised he didn't lie about that," Harry said, wondering if all normal exchanges went like this, rather than Hagrid bursting a door down for him.

"He's no reason to," Remus reminded, "even if she went and looked it up, Dumbledore would produce some paperwork for her."

She asked why the interest, and he explained his name had been down since he was born. When Mrs. Coal continued to be skeptical of this, he produced a blank sheet of paper and handed it to her. Her eyes lost focus for a moment as she 'read' it over, but handed it back saying that was all in order.

Harry gaped at that one, looking wildly around for some kind of explanation, while they all laughed at his expression. It was still nice to see him confounded by magic.

"I didn't say it was useful paperwork," Remus said around more laughter, as if that was all the explanation needed.

Harry rolled his eyes but let it go, deciding it was enough explanation for now. Obviously he still had more to learn in his next year of school.

Then her eyes fell upon a bottle of gin and two glasses that had certainly not been present a few seconds before. She offered him a glass regardless, and he happily accepted.

It soon became clear that Mrs. Cole was no novice when it came to gin drinking. Pouring both of them a generous measure, she drained her own glass in one gulp. Smacking her lips frankly, she smiled at Dumbledore for the first time, and he didn't hesitate to press his advantage.

He asked of Tom Riddle's history? He was born here in this orphanage?

Mrs. Coal agreed, saying she remembered it clearly, that New Year's Eve. She'd just started.

"Oh good, I always wanted to know his birthday," Sirius said dryly.

"We're dishing out plenty of socks this holiday, I'm sure we can ship along a pair for him," James rolled his eyes.

"Poisonous socks," Remus muttered, causing Harry to snort in surprise and James and Sirius to exchange a heavily amused smirk. Harry clearly hadn't heard all of Remus' mutters, but he would be now.

This girl had arrived staggering up the steps. Didn't take long after that, the baby had been delivered in an hour, and she was dead in the next.

That really was just, sad. Sirius could have connected many things to the moment of birthing Voldemort into their world, but honestly the start to it all was so depressing! The megalomaniac would be carrying that on to this day and never let them forget it, it seemed.

Dumbledore asked if she'd had any last words, and Mrs. Cole spoke only of what she'd named the boy. She'd first hoped he'd look like his papa, and Mrs. Cole wouldn't lie, this mother was no beauty.

"Lovely," Lily said tartly.

and then she told he was to be named Tom, for his father, and Marvolo, for her father.

James's mouth still twisted with a nasty sneer for that. No child should be named for such a creature as that Gaunt...though he supposed if there was one exception it was Voldemort.

They'd wondered whether she came from a circus,

"Not far off honestly," Remus huffed.

and she said the boy's surname was to be Riddle. She died soon after that without another word.

No one of any of those names had ever come looking for the boy, so here he'd stayed. She continued without prompting he was a funny boy.

Dumbledore asked for specifics, and he got them. He hadn't cried as a baby-

But Mrs. Cole pulled up short, and there was nothing blurry or vague about the inquisitorial glance she shot Dumbledore over her gin glass.

She confirmed he had a place at this school? Nothing she spoke of now would change that?

Dumbledore agreed.

She squinted at him as though deciding whether or not to trust him. Apparently she decided she could, because she said in a sudden rush he scared the other children.

"Oh joy, so he really was a psychopath even as a kid," James muttered in disgust. Why were they listening to this again? It was only more of a reminder where Harry could have ended up, where he almost had and should have been rather than with those Dursleys who cared nothing for him. At least this Mrs. Cole had a clear concern for the kids in her care.

Dumbledore clarified he was a bully?

Mrs. Cole suspected it, but she'd never caught him in the act, some very nasty stories though. Billy Stubbs rabbit hadn't hung itself from those rafters.

Lily choked in shock while all of the boys grimaced uncomfortably. A murderer indeed, even as a child, for something like an animal was never a good start to life.

She was jiggered though if she could figure out how he'd done it. Then there had been that summer outing, taking all the orphans to the beach. Amy and Dennis had gone off with Tom to explore some caves, they'd never been the same when they'd come back.

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the tight pull on his mind sharp once again for something he was sure he should have been connecting with, but he just ran his hand through his hair in agitation and wished his mind to shut up with its uselessness.

She looked around at Dumbledore again, and though her cheeks were flushed from all the gin consumed, her gaze was steady. She told without remorse not many would be sorry to see the back of him.

Dumbledore explained this was not permanent, he would have to return here, at least over his summer holidays.

Mrs. Cole called that better than a rusty poker whack on the nose.

She got up then, surprisingly steady on her feet, though two-thirds of the bottle were gone, and asked if he'd like to see the boy?

Dumbledore agreed at once.

She led him out of her office and up the stone stairs, calling out instructions and admonitions to helpers and children as she passed. The orphans, Harry saw, were all wearing the same kind of grayish tunic. They looked reasonably well-cared for, but there was no denying that this was a grim place in which to grow up.

"Sounds better off than you were," Lily muttered so quietly she didn't even seem to realize she'd said it, but James heard, tightening his arm all the more around her as he realized they'd been thinking the same thing.

As they turned off the second landing and stopped outside the first door in a long corridor. She knocked twice and entered, telling Tom this was Mr. Dunderbore.

"I'm going to start calling him that," Sirius said at once with conviction.

Harry and the two Dumbledore's entered the room,

James got a good chuckle out of that.

and Mrs. Cole closed the door on them. It was a small bare room with nothing in it except an old wardrobe and an iron bedstead. A boy was sitting on top of the gray blankets, his legs stretched out in front of him, holding a book.

There was no trace of the Gaunts in Tom Riddle's face. Merope had got her dying wish: He was his handsome father in miniature, tall for eleven years old, dark-haired, and pale.

"Urgh, that's almost as bad as his squashed snake face he has now," Sirius said in disgust for Dumbledore trying to humanize this constant Bludger on their life. The full force of his words wouldn't hold though, he could deny no more than anyone this was still just a kid, even one that had already grown up to be what they knew. He wanted to hate him on principle, but while it was there, it was not the only thing he could focus on.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he took in Dumbledore's eccentric appearance. There was a moment's silence.

Dumbledore spoke first, asking how he was doing, holding out his hand to be shaken.

The boy hesitated, then took it, and they shook hands. Dumbledore drew up the hard wooden chair beside Riddle, so that the pair of them looked rather like a hospital patient and visitor.

Dumbledore continued, using his title now, but Riddle repeated this sharply. He started throwing out all manner of accusations, thinking Dumbledore a doctor? Had that women sent someone to look at him?

"I'm sure he needs it," James huffed.

He was pointing at the door through which Mrs. Cole had just left.

Dumbledore tried to politely deny this, but Riddle shouted at him to tell the truth!

"What an impertinent child," Lily huffed, thinking he could speak to any adult that way.

He spoke the last three words with a ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and it sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he was glaring at Dumbledore, who made no response except to continue smiling pleasantly. After a few seconds Riddle stopped glaring, though he looked, if anything, warier still. He asked who Dumbledore was?

Dumbledore repeated his title, and explained his place in Hogwarts as a teacher.

Riddle's reaction to this was most surprising. He leaped from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious. He shouted this was some trick to get him in an asylum!

"I'd like to lock you in one surely, it's to bad Dumbledore didn't have the forethought," Remus sniffed.

Riddle insisted he hadn't done anything, and Dumbledore could ask the others for proof!

Dumbledore patiently explained he was not from an asylum, and nobody was forcing Tom to do anything.

"I know Dumbledore's calm about everything," Sirius said with only mild sarcasm, "but now I'm wondering just how many people think they're being shipped off to a nut house. Personally I wouldn't have minded so much, couldn't be worse than the one I grew up in."

Riddle sneered he'd like to see them try.

"More like try to force him out," Lily said bitterly.

"That basilisk couldn't have gotten him rather than Myrtle," James agreed.

Dumbledore continued Hogwarts was a place for people with special abilities, not a school for mad people.

"Eh," Sirius waved his hand vaguely, eyeing his best friend obviously. "A lot of them do seem to wind up there."

"You're the poster child," James agreed without looking over.

It is a school of magic.

There was silence. Riddle had frozen, his face expressionless, but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Dumbledore's, as though trying to catch one of them lying.

"He was, looking at, each of his, eyes?" Remus muttered in confusion.

"I don't get it, did Dumbledore have a lazy eye during this conversation..." James trailed off in confusion.

"We always knew he was mad," Sirius shrugged without concern.

He repeated magic in a whisper. That's what he could do?

Dumbledore kindly asked what was it he could do exactly?

Riddle breathed with excitement now, how he could make things move without touching them, make animals do what he wanted without training them. He could hurt people, if he wanted to.

This really hadn't been very funny to begin with, and the feeling just continued to grow worse with each passing moment this little Tom spoke.

"Bloody hell, he's a menace," Sirius noted like he was eyeing a coming storm.

"What, made him like that," Remus was grasping for words he wasn't even sure there was an answer for. "I'd have thought we'd seen evidence by now the kids picked on him because he was magic, that's why he'd hate them, but from everything we've heard it's the complete opposite. He's using magic against them because, he likes it!"

"I, I really must wonder if it wasn't that love potion." Lily said hoarsely. "I keep thinking, over and over, I've never heard of a child being conceived under the influence of one. Maybe it had, some effect on the child then."

"Oh great, so not only did she refuse to even look for an option to stay alive for the child she forced into this world, it's all her fault it was this way from the start!" Sirius was getting angrier at Merope by the second, looking for something to vent on that wasn't a kid. It still wasn't easy, he couldn't even work himself into a proper temper because the image kept lingering of some girl Lily's age, their age, without anyone to care for or turn to.

"Sirius." He didn't need the soft rebuke James gave, but it still helped cool him, preventing anything else that could have come next.

"I still don't see a solution in all this," Remus sighed. "Is there a cure? If there was and he'd actually feel something resembling human emotions again, would it even matter, it certainly wouldn't really make up for all the crimes he's committed."

"You'd think Dumbledore would have recognized all this himself before inviting him to learn more magic to do more harm," James agreed.

"Maybe he thought he could, I don't know, fix him, help him, certainly not make him a monster." Sirius finished, while Harry felt Remus flinch slightly beside him. He glanced over in surprise, but didn't understand that look he quickly hid from his face before the other two could see it.

Sirius certainly hadn't anymore to say on this though, what had happened, happened, and he honestly doubted he'd see anything in Dumbledore's own memory the man wouldn't have already spotted, so when no one else offered anything he kept going restlessly for this to be over. Not that anything else going on in Harry's life was much more fun to be getting to.

His legs were trembling. He stumbled forward and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer.

He'd always known he was different, special.

"Most of our kind do," Lily agreed softly. Agreed with Voldemort of all people! She never forgot though, those years before that weird kid Snape on the block had finally tracked her down and told her what she was. How, special, she'd been, unable to help but use Voldemort's own choice of word in understanding.

Dumbledore agreed he was right, though he was no longer smiling as he told Tom Riddle he was a wizard.

Riddle asked if he was one as well, and when Dumbledore agreed, Riddle at once told him to prove it in the same tone as he'd told him to tell the truth.

Dumbledore asked if this meant he was taking his place in Hogwarts then?

When Riddle snapped of course, Dumbledore imposed on him this would then mean he would be referred to as Professor, or Sir.

Riddle's expression hardened for the most fleeting moment before he said, in an recognizably polite voice, how sorry he was, and then properly asked him to show him some magic.

"Urgh," Sirius' nose crinkled in disgust for not only that mockery of politeness he'd so used as well. He hated any idea he'd done anything remotely similar to this cretin.

Harry was sure that Dumbledore was going to refuse, that he would tell Riddle there would be plenty of time for practical demonstrations at Hogwarts, that they were currently in a building full of Muggles and must therefore be cautious.

"No," Lily corrected. "Much like Hagrid setting that grate aflame for you, a little magic is always allowed in the beginning, to ah, prove a point I should say."

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick.

The wardrobe burst into flames.

Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there.

"Oh, Dumbledore wouldn't really," James scoffed at once.

"Still, certainly not a kind trick on the kid," Sirius began, before his words caught up with him and he finished venomously, "other than this one."

But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand, demanding where he could get one of those.

Dumbledore agreed all in good time, but for now, it seemed something was trying to escape that wardrobe.

Sure enough, a faint rattling could be heard from inside it.

A soft snort of laughter echoed around, before Remus spoke up what they were all wondering, "what did Dumbledore do?"

Sirius shushed him, they were now all listening more intently than ever. Here, something could finally show to be the purpose of all this, something Voldemort actually cared for?

For the first time, Riddle looked frightened.

Dumbledore instructed him to open the door.

Riddle hesitated, then crossed the room and threw open the wardrobe door. On the topmost shelf, above a rail of threadbare clothes, a small cardboard box was shaking and rattling as though there were several frantic mice trapped inside it.

Tom was encouraged further to take it out.

Riddle took down the quaking box. He looked unnerved.

Dumbledore asked if there was anything in that box he shouldn't have?

Riddle agreed.

Harry couldn't help half shouting in his excitement, "what kind of magic is that? How did Dumbledore even know to use that spell, to know that wasn't his?"

It was rather odd to be sure, seeing Harry getting so worked up over magic as if he were eleven himself again, but James still answered, "certainly there's a few spells one could do to check ownership of a few objects. After all Mrs. Cole and Riddle himself said, I'm not terribly surprised he's stolen things from kids as well."

Harry waved Sirius on impatiently now, knowing something massive was coming.

Riddle took off the lid and tipped the contents onto his bed without looking at them. Harry, who had expected something much more exciting, saw a mess of small, everyday objects: a yo-yo, a silver thimble, and a tarnished mouth organ among them.

The others merely looked more baffled than ever why Voldemort had cared about such things, when it had been clear nobody of significance in his life had left him any of that. Souvenirs, perhaps, from his time in that orphanage? Though they'd been given no inkling so far he valued anyone, certainly not close enough to be given a gift.

Harry however looked ecstatic, his eyes lighting with some dim understanding he couldn't yet fully grasp, but did not need any extra sense telling him to pay attention now, he was riveted.

Once free of the box, they stopped quivering and lay quite still upon the thin blankets.

Dumbledore calmly said he was to return those to the owner, and he would know if this wasn't done. Thievery was not tolerated at Hogwarts.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed;

"Of course not, that's an actual human emotion," James muttered in disgust, honestly believing Lily's theory more every line. Did he have any emotion in him? Obviously he did, as Harry had been all to painfully aware of last year, but then what was this...this lack of humanity pouring from such a young soul? There was just no way this was natural, as if he'd ever needed that confirmed considering what Voldemort was now.

he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he agreed in a colorless voice.

Dumbledore continued Hogwarts was a place to learn control of magic. Before, he had surely only inadvertently been using his powers for anything of ill intent, but this would not be tolerated at school.

"Inadvertently I'm sure," Sirius mock quoted.

Such acts could cause expulsion. Tom was not the first to have his magic run wild, but now he knew the truth, if this continued the Ministry of Magic would punish this severely.

"Starting with all the good threats, then," Harry huffed.

"Not that it did him any good," Remus agreed with heavy sarcasm, not missing the irony Harry had been under threat of both, where as likely the perfect Tom Riddle they'd heard of in the past never had.

All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws.

Riddle politely agreed.

It was impossible to tell what he was thinking; his face remained quite blank as he put the little cache of stolen objects back into the cardboard box. When he had finished, he turned to Dumbledore and said baldly he hadn't any money.

Dumbledore drew a leather money-pouch from his pocket, explaining there was a fund for that. He may have to buy some of his things second hand, such as spellbooks-

Riddle interrupted where to buy such things, without thanking him for the money he was now holding.

Lily tisked quietly, but considering the many unspeakable things he had, or in this case would do, it really was a passing insult to her.

He was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

Dumbledore explained Diagon Alley, he could escort him there?

Riddle said that wasn't necessary, he traveled London all the time by himself, then caught himself and more politely asked for directions.

Harry thought that Dumbledore would insist upon accompanying Riddle, but once again he was surprised. Dumbledore handed Riddle the envelope containing his list of equipment, and after telling Riddle exactly how to get to the Leaky Cauldron from the orphanage,

Lily couldn't help the clear disapproval that time though, cutting off with a heavier scoff. "He's just a boy, surely he needs supervision."

"Maybe it would have stopped him growing an early interest in places like Knockturn Alley," Harry agreed, vividly remembering their protest of his short time alone there at eleven.

"I think that's already been set in stone," Sirius disagreed with an eye roll. "Besides, the kid turned down the help, I certainly wouldn't stop him not minding himself and getting run over."

Lily turned her scowl on him but couldn't really snap for that. She still couldn't make it sit right in her head like he so clearly could, this was still just a kid.

and finished he'd have the right place when he found Tom the barman, easy enough to remember. They shared a name.

Riddle gave an irritable twitch, as though trying to displace an irksome fly.

Dumbledore caught on, asking that he dislike the name Tom?

Riddle muttered there were a lot of Tom's, before asking if Dumbledore had known his father? He'd been told his name was Tom Riddle.

Dumbledore gently said he had no knowledge of this person, and Riddle continued it must be his father. It couldn't be his mother, or she wouldn't have died, she couldn't be magic.

All five of them frowned, another wash of sympathy for the soul that was Tom Riddle. They didn't know what to call that moment. Innocence, for his lack of knowledge that even magic could never really stop that? Callousness on his mother's behalf? It was certainly a true foreshadowing of his future nature.

Riddle changed the subject then, asking about getting to Hogwarts, and Dumbledore explained that was all on the ticket, and the date of the departure from King's Cross.

Riddle nodded. Dumbledore got to his feet and held out his hand again.

"I guess I should feel flattered it's not just Hagrid who leaves out the detail about that barrier," Harry muttered for himself.

Taking it, Riddle said he could speak to snakes. Was that normal?

Harry could tell that he had withheld mention of this strangest power until that moment, determined to impress.

"Why would he think that would impress him?" Remus asked with a lingering frown for the boys logic. "He's already mentioned he could control animals at will, and Dumbledore hadn't really reacted to that. Why would speaking to a particular species be of anymore significance?"

"Your guess is as good as ours," Sirius reminded.

Dumbledore hesitated for a moment before saying it was unusual, but not unheard of. Then Dumbledore made his departure, and Harry and Dumbledore did as well, landing squarely in the present-day office.

They both sat down, and Harry said Riddle had believed that faster than him. He hadn't believed Hagrid at first.

"I'm sure a wide range of reactions exist out there," Lily agreed absently. She'd thought Snape a loon until she'd been convinced, Harry had taken some convincing, and Riddle had believed it instantly. It sort of made her want to do a study on all the varied reactions a Muggleborn could have, if it wasn't so thoroughly depressing her son had found himself in that category.

Harry then simply asked if Dumbledore had known?

Dumbledore elaborated, had he known he'd just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?

"I'd, be genuinely impressed if he did." Remus muttered.

"I'm sure if he had, he wouldn't have let his life go on as long as he had," James said belligerently.

Lily wasn't so sure, thinking about what had been said earlier and Dumbledore's willingness to try and help others. What was the point of no return for him then? Was there one?

No, he had not. The evidence had been very plain and upfront there was something about him, that led him to strangling animals and seeking isolation and dominance over his peers. Harry interjected he was also a Parselmouth.

"You already knew that?" James frowned at Harry in confusion why he'd pointed this out.

"Suppose up until that point I would have thought he wouldn't realize it until later in life," Harry shrugged.

Dumbledore agreed, but his ability to speak to serpents did not make him nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination.

"I'd hope so," they all muttered agreement to that.

He noticed the late hour then, and said before they departed for the night, he wanted to make sure Harry had noted a few things. Firstly, his aversion to having the name Tom.

"I'll be sure to give him a more original name," Sirius said deadpan.

"Why not even go from another anagram of his own," James answered with a smirk Lily was already trying to read around, though not before he started with, "I've noticed a certain few letters spell out the word-"

She didn't care enough to let him finish.

Harry nodded.

He also highlighted his ability of being self-sufficient. He had no help, and no want of it. Many of his current Death Eaters claimed they alone were in his confidence, but Dumbledore was sure this was an allusion. Voldemort had never had a friend, nor he believed, did he ever want one.

Putting this into the perspective of his adult self was helping them really, it certainly pushed off their confusion at that notion and put disgust right back in place discussing this vile plague on humanity in their life.

Lastly, that box of stolen articles from the children in the orphanage, his trophies, souvenirs even, of particular acts of his unpleasant magic.

"I, can see what he's going for," Remus said slowly, his eyes suddenly widening at the possibility. They'd been half right in their guess, but gotten the motive wrong then.

"I'm still not sure what the point of those are," Sirius had his head cocked to the side curiously. "So he does value objects then, nicked something from people he's murdered, maybe. Would stealing his closet full of knick-knacks of the dead put him off enough for us to kill him then?"

James laughed at the absurd way Sirius managed to phrase that, but Harry was sitting right on the edge of his seat now, his face trained on the book while his godfathers words spiraled sickeningly in his head, forbidden to look upon, longing to know.

Harry should bear in mind this magpie-like tendency, for this, particularly, would be important later.

"Well Dumbledore certainly thinks so," Lily sighed, wishing the man would just spit it out no matter the hour, this felt more important than a bedtime. She didn't like the bead of sweat her son didn't even seem aware of tracing down his taught face.

Harry was dismissed, and he got to his feet to leave. He stopped however, when he saw the ring was no longer there. He turned back to Dumbledore curiously, and asked if he'd tracked down the mouth organ next?

Dumbledore approved of Harry's guess, but corrected that mouth organ, had only ever been a mouth organ.

Harry swallowed loudly, but no one needed that to feel the tension all along the room. What else had that ring been then? Lily read the final line carefully,

On that enigmatic note he waved to Harry, who understood himself to be dismissed.

but when it yielded no good results she turned to the others for some kind of explanation that was certainly evading her.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #The Life That Never Lived #HP #HBP #Marauders #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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crqstalite · 3 years

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oc interview!

tagged by @spaceprincealenko ! tagging,,, anyone who sees this because i’ve already tagged enough people today lol.

Alexandra June “A.J” Shepard

Role: First Human Spectre

BASICS

Full Name: Alexandra June Shepard

Nickname(s): Lexi (by Miranda or Kaidan only), June (see previous), AJ

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation and Titles: First Human Spectre, Lieutenant Commander of the SSV Normandy, N7 Sentinel.

Birthday & Age: April 11th, 2154, currently 32.

Physical description: AJ stands at around 5′6″ (167.64 cm), with a mostly lithe build. Dark, nearly black eyes, and pixie cut naturally brown hair, though she dyes it red because it distances her from her past a bit. Deep scar on her neck from Akuze, and two lighter ones across her nose and jaw. Has about twenty million (more accurately, nine she keeps open) piercings from over the years, though more often than not, keeps the three up her left ear and two up her right with earrings in whenever she’s on shore leave.

Clothing style: AJ doesn’t usually intend it, but she goes for a far less ‘standing out’ sort of look than one would expect. Hiding in hoodies is usually her go to look, even though her dark makeup and bright red hair makes her rather difficult to lose in a crowd. Something like this.

BACKGROUND

AJ is a spacer kid, through and through. Mostly having grown up on various stations, home had always been among the stars (and Arcturus). She definitely doesn’t know much else, and for a time, that was okay. Having never known her father, it was just her and Hannah for the longest time. Her biotics then developed in her early teen years, and things shifted. Considering just how new they were around the time her aptitude was discovered, there were a lot of unknowns -- and to a point, that fascinated and terrified her. AJ just nearly skirted ending up at Jump Zero, which until she found out exactly what’d happened there, she was convinced her mother had effectively stunted whatever developing powers she had. Hannah had never wanted an implant for her daughter, even if she was lucky enough to still be alive after eezo exposure, she didn’t want to lose her to whatever side effects could come of it. Not to mention, AJ was just a frustrated person and frustrating person to be around. Loud, a bit of a perfectionist and not the best socially were a recipe for disaster. Funnily enough, small spaces weren’t good for a developing biotic, and a hyperactive kid with too much energy to burn. Regulating her emotions was a long and very difficult task stemming from her childhood, something Hannah just didn’t have the time or emotional capacity for. Every teacher of her’s always had something to say about the disruptive and frankly, entirely absent Shepard kid, and to no one’s surprise, it took a toll on AJ, who couldn’t really figure out why she was the way she was. No one was really able to help her either.

So of course, she doubled down on it. While she masked some things, she amplified others. AJ became a bit of a social butterfly, but only because she was rather intuitive to how others acted, and copied it near perfectly. Showing up to classes was rarely something she wanted to do, and was more than happy to sit and stare into space, or play with what limited biotic abilities she had. Which only lead to more of a rift between mother and daughter, the former who couldn’t figure out why her all around intelligent daughter was so determined not to use that intelligence for good, and the latter who couldn’t figure out what people wanted from her. They never verbally fought (well, not really. AJ can count on two hands how many times it was more a stern talking to -- and very one sided), but it was clear enough to AJ that she’d never quite be enough for Captain Shepard.

By the time AJ met Anderson around the age of seventeen, she was just near about to careen off the radar entirely. Hannah couldn’t figure her out no matter what she did, and AJ no longer really cared for what she thought. AJ had never gotten to be violent, but she was someone that her peers more respected than actually liked. One of the only students to still hold a passing grade (mostly off of exams) without having ever really shown aptitude for anything. A chance meeting during one weekend that really did turn her life around a bit, even if she was a bit put off by how kind Anderson was to her. The Alliance gave her a purpose at the very least. Her skills were put to use, and by nineteen, she’d followed in some of the footsteps that Hannah left. One of her first real deployments was to the eventual squad that followed up on leads to Akuze. One man, Walter Castillo, had taken a liking to her and took the young biotic under his wing. He was also the one that had made her begin using the name June instead of her first name, Alexandra, so that she could put some distance between herself and the girl that’d been such a thorn in everyone’s side. Staff Commander Castillo was one of her only acquaintances during that time, and like Anderson, a father figure to her.

Akuze was, evidently, the first time she’d ever failed. The entire mission plagues her like no other. She still deals with the lasting scars it left on her, and has never been able to really talk about the massacre with anyone, especially after Castillo was one of the last people for her to hear and she spent a very, very long four hours waiting for extraction, in the dark, and in tears.

After that, Shepard became a bit of a recluse. She was seen as too much of an omen to most to ever build lasting relationships with, and she didn’t mind it. She had seen herself as a disappointment to her mother for years on end and a failure to her squad on Akuze -- she wasn’t ready to add another crew to the list. She rose through the ranks rather quietly until Anderson picked her back up for a tour on the Normandy.

AJ was a name she chose for herself, in the end. Not Alexandra, who’d only be imperfect in the eyes of the people who cared about her, and not June, who’d failed the people who needed her. AJ Shepard was a blank slate, who was still tainted with the failures of the past, but was growing beyond it.

COMBAT & SKILLS

Preferred fighting style: AJ is a sentinel, which by every definition, doesn’t really make her a frontline soldier. Yet, you’ll find her leading the charge anyway. She’s trained in just about every weapon, but is more than happy to carry just a pistol into combat and relies heavily on her biotics. Mostly employing medium strength armor, and consistently will put her own wellbeing in danger for others. Some call her reckless. She is, but isn’t about to let someone die if she has anything to say about it. Not again.

Unlike her fellow sentinel, Kaidan, she’s far less about control. Not to say she isn’t capable, but when push comes to shove, she is not above cheap shots or letting loose.

Favorite weapon(s): Her pistol of choice is the N7 Eagle.

Special skills: An N7 Sentinel with extensive biotic training post-enlistment, and while fine-tuning is something she still needs to work on, her biotics are her favorite. She’s rather proud of how far she’s come. While sitting still to learn proper tech, she is definitely the creative type. Unconventional strategies are her forte, and and overload combo is the single best thing.

RELATIONSHIPS

Family: Hannah Shepard (mother), Miranda Lawson (wife).

Love interest: In her ‘canon’ of sorts, Miranda Lawson, who she’s happily married to after the Reaper War. In an AU, Kaidan Alenko.

Best friends: Has friends out of Jack (much to Miranda’s chagrin), Liara, Jacob, Kaidan, and James.

PERSONALITY

AJ is nothing if not a little bit spiky all around. She is blunt, and will never lie to your face even if it hurts. She is not one for empty compliments, at all. They piss her off, and she knows when someone’s lying to her face, even if it’s just to make her smile. Because of that, it takes a bit for someone to become even acquaintances with her, and she doesn’t like to get to know her crew that much, even if pressed. It mostly stems from her fear that as soon as she becomes as close to them as she did Walter, she’ll lose them. After they lost Ashley, it only became that much clearer. She left the investigation into Saren knowing more about her crew than they knew about her, and that was fine. That wasn’t ideal, but she didn’t know much better.

The crew of the Normandy SR-2 that followed her into the maw on the suicide mission were the first people who ever saw much of her personality, someone who was going through an identity crisis but also someone who didn’t really have anyone left she cared about, and was convinced she was defective. Her own floundering attempts to cultivate real relationships and friendships months away from possibly dying after already having been brought back weren’t futile, at least. Her past made her cynical, but given the time, it made her care for the people who weren’t out to get her that much more. While it may not have always been clear because of how quiet she was (and how many roundabout ways she had to show that she cared), by the time they arrived back to Earth, there wasn’t much question that she wouldn’t lay her life on the line for these people. Seen as a bit fatalistic at times, she only does it because, well, she can’t stand the idea of losing someone else. Suffocating almost. Still, it makes her a good friend though.

Her love language is words of affirmation -- people confirming that she hasn’t done anything wrong, or that they still do love and care for her is all she ever wanted when she was younger.

The red, short hair and piercings were more of acts of rebellion, if anything, that followed her into adulthood. She gave it up during her service with the Alliance to revert back to brown, though went right back to it during her stint with Cerberus. Checks out and tracks that when she came back to the Alliance three years later, Kaidan didn’t recognize her at first.

#AJ shepard #oc #original character #oh jeez #this got SO long #maybe i should do a fic for her and miranda #i still need to write the one for her and kaidan lol #me to me: lets make a happy oc!#me to me: so about that-

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jebazzled · 3 years

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Level Up! Upcycling an Intermediate App

Hello friends and welcome to another unsolicited writing tutorial, aka my bread and butter! Today we’re going to build off of ground covered in my earlier tutorial, Level Up! Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced RP and You.

As always, I’d like to point out that there is nothing wrong with being a writer more naturally suited for intermediate sites! But if you’re looking to write in the more ~advanced or ~literary space, you will need to adjust your writing to fit the community standard. While your writing will likely improve over time as you write with more advanced writers, step one to threading in such a community is getting an app accepted there.

In today’s tutorial, I’ll be talking about how to revise an existing intermediate application to make it more suited for an advanced site. Let’s begin!

As a staffer on an advanced site, the note I most often have for applications that we pend or decline is: this feels very telly.

I don’t mean “telly” as in Telly the Sesame Street character:

I mean “telly” as in extraordinarily expository.

An intermediate freestyle application often looks like a straight-up timeline of a character’s history, delivered without much style or voice. It might feel like a Wikipedia article, or a very long explanation like you might see in a shipper.

I often find that it can help streamline the writing process to write a handful of telling anecdotes, rather than rehashing a character’s complete history, infancy to present. More on that in my freestyle application tutorial here!

But if you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around anecdotal-style applications, particularly if you’re accustomed to application formats that have you write a “history” section as opposed to a freestyle, you can improve upon your current app to make it more suited for an advanced site. It will take some work, and certainly more than ten minutes of it. Writing on a “reach” site can be very rewarding, but only if you’re willing to put in the effort.

TELLING

Before we solve the problem of “telly” writing, we need to establish what “telly” writing is. For purposes of this tutorial, I’ll be using my one application that is a full rehashing of character history. Below is a “telly” take on Sadie Shunpike:

Sadie grew up in a working-class neighborhood of London with her twin brother, Sam. Neither of her parents were very good at magic, but hid their insecurity in the belief that any magic at all made them better than their Muggle neighbors. Sadie and Sam weren’t educated at the local primary school, but were homeschooled by their mother until they could read. From there, Sadie and Sam would check out books from the local library and teach themselves, with Sadie helping Sam.

Sadie was very smart, but Sam struggled more with learning. As they got older, Sadie started to read books she ordered from Flourish and Blott’s, learning about magical theory. Sam started to show signs of magic, which he hid from Sadie. When they turned eleven, it became clear that Sadie was a squib. She resented Sam for being magical, especially when he went to Hogwarts and needed Sadie’s help to do his homework. Sadie continued to educate herself.

Sadie developed an interest in the Dark Arts and got mixed up with Death Eaters in a research and study group she attended at Flourish and Blott’s. One of them promised her a Ministry job and ensured her safety if she acted as a spy in the Ministry for the Death Eaters. Later, she got placed into a safehouse, and began to spy on the safehouse network for the Death Eaters.

This tells you a lot about what Sadie has been up to, but doesn’t tell you much about Sadie, or about my skill as a writer, or about how someone else might expect Sadie to behave in threads. There is no voice, no personality, no interest - just rote explanation.

As a staffer on an advanced site, when I see an app like the above, I know I will be pending or declining the application. The question I ask when making that distinction is: is the character development strong enough to merit working with the writer on the prose? Is the prose strong enough to merit working with the writer on the character development?

If the writing itself or the character development is there, it can make sense to help guide the writer - though this is more the case with character development issues than with prose. Character development can be improved with specific notes and adjustments, whereas generally speaking, improving prose is a gradual process over time.

It is entirely possible that a writer might have much better prose in their threads than in their application! However, your application serves here as a writing sample. which is why it is imperative that it be good writing on its own. I have said it before and I will say it again: I don’t care how much you hate writing apps, lmao! You’ve got to write a good one if you want to do well on sites that use them!

SHOWING

Writing communities are always talking about show vs. tell. Unless you’re writing stage directions, it is always better to show than to tell - or at least, there aren’t enough exceptions to the rule that you shouldn’t be aiming primarily to show.

So how do you communicate a character history without making it too telly?

DESCRIPTION

Here, I’ve described Sadie’s neighborhood as “working-class” and left it at that. What if I went into a little more detail? Explained to you what I imagine when I imagine her upbringing, and shared with you what’s going on in my head between the lines?

In a small, shabby house in a small, shabby suburb, a small and shabby family lives a small and shabby life. Samuel Shunpike, Sr. sells advertisements for the Daily Prophet, tossing a handful of Floo powder into the minuscule fireplace in the sitting room every morning and getting ash on the threadbare round braided rug every night.

This has more flavor, doesn’t it? The repetition of “small, shabby” is a deliberate style choice that communicates an idea of how I write in practice when I’m being ~artsy, and the image of a man in a shabby suit crawling into his fireplace and messing up an already messed-up rug builds Sadie’s father as an NPC that will come into play later in her app. Dynamic NPCs - whose actions impact your character, who are more than wooden cutouts - help build the fictional world of your character’s life. They don’t even need to be vital to playing your character - I’ve never really had anyone in Sadie’s family in play onsite, despite how heavily her brother figures into her character development - but they can be very useful in understanding your character.

DIALOGUE

Ha, irony, that dialogue can make an app less telly! Dialogue gives your reader an idea of how your character interacts with the world in concrete situations, not merely in the abstract. It also helps build the dynamic NPCs that make your character’s history feel more real, and feel like something that genuinely impacted them rather than something manufactured for plot.

While the Shunpikes are nobodies in the circle of wizarding society, Margie and Samuel Sr take comfort in the fact that they do have one thing making them better than the Muggles who live the small shabby lives on either side of them: the Shunpikes are magic. small, shabby magic, but magic nevertheless. "You lot are better than this," Margie says, smoking a pipe on the stoop, gesturing at the sidewalk where children walk to school with their parents. Sam and Sadie don't take their eyes off their Exploding Snap game. It's no use arguing with Margie, they know. When she goes inside, grumbling about Muggle trash, Sam and Sadie train their eyes on the walk outside. The parade of children their age, all wearing matching khakis and polo shirts. "What do you think they get up to?" Sam asks, glancing at Sadie. "Same as us, i imagine," she says, "but probably, y'know, more guided."

This brief vignette tells us a few things:

Margie Shunpike, Sadie’s mother, is mean, and relies on what little magic she has to feel like she has worth

Sam looks to Sadie for leadership/guidance

Neither of these are specifically about Sadie, but having this background information about her mother seen in action rather than merely mentioned will impact how we digest the news that Sadie is a squib. Sam, as a recurring NPC, will inform how we see Sadie develop, and seeing his changing relationship with her will give another metric for the reader of how Sadie has changed.

DETAILS

Details build your world, make it feel more real. When I wrote earlier that Sadie ordered books from Flourish & Blott’s, they could have been any books - they could have been the magical equivalent of ABC “First Concept” books - they could have been magical erotica. Don’t details tell you a lot about a person? If I tell you that Renee Rye Bread reads 50 books a year, what have you learned about her? What if I clarify that it’s 50 romance novels? 50 crime dramas? 50 political biographies?

When Sam and Sadie were younger, Margie would sit them together at the kitchen table and clumsily teach them letters and numbers. Once they could put together sentences and basic sums, she happily stepped back and let them figure it out on their own. On an average day, Sam and Sadie will watch the parade of schoolchildren, finish a game of Exploding Snap or Wizard's Chess, eat an early lunch, and spend the rest of the day doing their best to get an education. Sadie tries the hardest, dragging Sam with her to the Muggle library around the corner to read Muggle fiction and do basic research on whatever catches her fancy. She saves her allowance and coins from doing chores for the neighbors and orders secondhand books from the Flourish & Blotts catalog, poring over wizarding texts and trying to make sense of magic beyond even her parents' meager skill. Sam sometimes gives her his sickles, too. He isn't doing anything with them, and everything makes more sense with her in charge.

These details - what Sadie and Sam’s homeschooling looks like, Sadie’s attitude towards books and learning, Sam’s support in her academic endeavors - are building blocks in your understanding of Sadie’s personality. She is driven, self-directed, curious. She doesn’t ask Sam for his input. She is, perhaps, a little selfish.

DIORAMA

Trying to keep to a “D” theme here for an easy mnemonic device here! What I mean by “diorama” is that even in an app not specifically built around anecdotes it is good to provide a few key slices of the character’s life - a clear window into specific scenes and moments. What strikes you as more impactful: me telling you, “there’s a scene in Heathers (1988) where Veronica’s boyfriend has put a bomb under the bleachers during a pep rally. It’s fine, it doesn’t go off,” or me describing to you: “the gym is full of stamping feet and shouting cheerleaders; no one could hear Veronica and JD fighting under the stands even if they were interested. The bomb is beeping so loudly but no one is paying attention, no one can hear it. It’s a pep rally and everyone is cheering at their own wake.”

Rather than saying:

Sam started to show signs of magic, which he hid from Sadie. When they turned eleven, it became clear that Sadie was a squib. She resented Sam for being magical, especially when he went to Hogwarts and needed Sadie’s help to do his homework. Sadie continued to educate herself.

I went with the below:

In June, Sam is sitting in the kitchen while Sadie makes a solo trip to the library, folding paper airplanes and flying them with no success. After a dozen failures, however, he watches in amazement as a piece of notebook paper folds itself up into a perfect airplane and flies around the room on its own. He's done magic, and he has no idea how. And he keeps it a secret from his parents, but more importantly, from Sadie, who he now knows is not going to be coming with him to Hogwarts after all. Later that week, while the family is tucking into ham sandwiches for dinner, the owl arrives, and Sam's stomach sinks when Sadie proudly carries it from the sitting room window into the kitchen on her forearm. She unties the letter from its leg, looks at the front of the envelope, grinning. Samuel Sr and Margie see a shadow pass over their daughter's face for half a heartbeat before she slowly hands the envelope to her brother. But Sam sees it all: her smile cracking like broken china, her eyes widen just a little, the furrow in her eyebrow. He catches the hitch in her voice as she congratulates him. He senses her anxiety in the lightspeed jiggle of her left foot under the table, as he stares at the letter, unable to make sense of the words, as worried as he is about Sadie. She excuses herself early, and Samuel Sr and Margie exchange a look, as if they've forgotten Sam is there. Sam doesn't know what any of them were expecting, but it wasn't this. The next few days, during which Sadie does not speak to him at all, are the longest of his life. Then, one morning, as he sits at the kitchen table having a silent breakfast with Samuel Sr and Margie - who are still flabbergasted to have a squib in the family - she comes down the stairs from their shared attic bedroom. She sits across from Sam at the table as if nothing has happened. She helps herself to a slice of toast from the stack on a plate in the middle of the table, and takes a piece of bacon off Sam's plate. "Since i won't be going to Hogwarts as expected," she says, folding the toast to make a sandwich and taking an enormous bite, "I'll need to arrange for a more formal education.” She swallows her bite and pours herself a glass of orange juice. “I’m happy with our current method of self-directed study, of course, but - i intend to supplement it with the odd lecture or class audit in the city.”

We get a few things here:

Sam’s anxiety/guilt about being the magical one, a dynamic that informs how Sadie will use him later

Sadie quickly hiding her actual emotions and performing fake ones, which comes up later when she manipulates people at the Ministry and in safehouses as a spy for the Death Eaters

Sadie’s decision making, which doesn’t allow room for input, feedback, or disagreement

Think of your favorite books and characters. If a novelist gave you a quick description of a character in one paragraph, you wouldn’t feel the close connection to them that you feel after reading even just a few chapters of them acting, reacting, interacting. Of course we don’t have as much time for that in an app as we do in a novel, but there’s a happy medium between the shallow understanding we get from pure exposition and the deep one we get from 50,000 words and a hardcover.

IN PRACTICE: HOW DO???

So we’ve got our intermediate app. We’ve got our Four D’s: Description, Dialogue, Details, Diorama. We’ve got an advanced site we are lusting over.

How do we Frankenstein this all together?

STEP ONE: REREAD YOUR ORIGINAL APP

Give her a look. Get the basics in your head. Think about how you might be able to repurpose this writing for your shipper. Because, hey! It’s already done! And at least in my experience on advanced sites, shippers are a TL;DR for your app, so a quick expository jaunt through the highlights fits the bill just peachy.

But you’re not going to be able to work from that app directly for version two, okay? Be honest with yourself. How much do you ever revise things? Because this isn’t a “change a word, add one (1) sentence,” project. This is an overhaul.

Like I’ve said! Going from intermediate to advanced is HARD WORK!

STEP TWO: GET WRITING

Start writing that app from scratch. Think about the Four D’s.

If you’re approaching this as a straight history of your character, have at it wherever you want to get started. But before you move on to the next phase, address your Four D’s.

Susie was a difficult baby.

STOP! Give me the D. Was her nursery hyperfeminine? Did her nannies gossip about her parents behind their backs? Was Susie a fussy baby, or was she sickly? Show me her cold and distant mother awkwardly holding her before passing her off to her father!

If none of these D’s feel important to this phase of the character’s life: don’t include it in the app! A character history does not need to cover every minute! You can just hit the important phases, and you should! Believe me: staff usually do not want to hear about how mom and dad met each other unless it actually has a major bearing on Susie’s life!

Once you’ve given the moment its due (Due, the fifth D), move on to the next, and consider the D’s every time.

STEP THREE: REREAD & REVISE

Before you submit your app, give it another look. You’ve likely done a lot of character development between your original application and the fully-overhauled version. Is your characterization consistent? Do your character’s motives make sense? Have you left any gaping holes in their story? Look back at your shipper, especially if you used your original application to build it out. Does it align with the new application? What edits do you need on the shipper to have it describe the same person as your app?

STEP FOUR: PROFIT

Obviously, as with anything else, your mileage may vary. It might take a few tries, or even a few different characters to land on something that works for an advanced site. But the practice of implementing the five D’s - and keeping them in mind subsequently as you post with and develop your character - will be instrumental in growing your abilities as a writer, and isn’t that what this is all about? Wishing you all the best in writing as in life - let me know how you’re doing, and what other tutorials you’d like to see from me. Cheers, and happy writing!

#rp guides #resources #writing resources #rp writing #applications

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kaidans-alenko · 3 years

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Wrote a thing for my very dear and extremely talented friend @confundere(who yall need to follow because she’s amazing and just all around a very sweet person <3) with her oc Persephone and Aiden <3

Supposed to be for ockiss week but that didn’t happen pfftt

“At least Lily is honest with me.” He fired back at Persephone, they had been going back and forth with each other all morning while Lily and Aiden ran around the strip, it was all harmless fun of course.

“Oh just barely, you said the whole first year of your relationship you still couldn’t fully tell how she felt.” Persephone teased.

“Yeah well she’s more honest with me than you and Aiden are with each other.”

“It’s complicated, we were both on Mindoir during the raid.” was the only explanation she gave.

“Yeah?” he didn’t fully understand the relevance but he was willing to hear her out.

Persephone looked at the fireplace in the apartment’s living room.

“And if I'm to be honest, the biggest part of why I got engaged to Thomas was because he was one of my last connections to home. I don’t want to just be with Aiden for that same reason. It didn't exactly end well the first time.” She told him.

It wasn’t something she had really said out loud before but if there was anyone she felt like she could be honest with it was Kaidan.

“I get it but at the same time, is that really a bad thing?”

Persephone looked over at him “Huh?”

“Look and don’t tell her I brought it up but Lily told me that I have some similarities with her late fiance and at first it kind of bothered me but I thought about it and realized it’s not really a bad thing.”

“You don’t feel like a replacement at all?”

Kaidan shook his head “Lily loved him and I believe she still does a little bit and I could let it bother me sure but she loves me for the same reason she loved him and i’m not going to sit here and say I won out because i’m with her now, that’s not fair and I certainly don’t feel that way but what i’m trying to say is you two really care about each other. Lily and I both agree on that and if one of the things that brings you two together is a number of shared experiences or in my case shared traits, then what’s the problem? If it was the only reason you’re attracted to him, yeah it might be an issue but I don’t personally believe that is the only reason.”

Persephone sighed, she focused so much on burying these feelings she never really took a step back to think about what she actually liked about him "I like that I can trust him. The one person who I was supposed to be able to trust outed me but Aiden just... understands. And there's that rush when you can charge into battle with someone you trust. Mindoir was a conservative colony. Biotics had to hide themselves. And there's a part of me that wishes we'd been closer back then because maybe then I wouldn't have felt so alone with it. It's more than that though. Past us being biotics, past us both being soldiers. I can be myself around him... it's been awhile since I felt like that about someone. I'm not scared, or guarded."

“Are you ever going to tell him that?” Kaidan asked.

“How long did it take you to tell Lily?”

“Hey, in my defense we didn’t have any obvious chemistry like you two do.”

Persephone shook her head, she didn’t believe him or rather she didn’t want to believe him “He’s got a war to win, it’s not the time maybe if we survive, we’ll see.”

--------------

"So," Lily started as she stole a piece of nigiri off of Aiden's plate "how are you and Persephone?" She pried, causing his face to turn the same shade as the tuna on his plate.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said defensively, tugging at his scarf, suddenly feeling hot at the mention of her name.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, mouth still full of sushi "You're the talk of the ship, I even started a betting poll." She told him as she swallowed.

"You what?!" Lily watched unfazed, sipping her all too sweet cocktail as he hopped out of his chair, a couple of guests glaring in their direction over the commotion Aiden was causing.

"I was bored and I figured

should be getting something out of this back and forth you two have going on." She shrugged, clearly not seeing a problem in what she just told him.

Aiden ran a hand down his face as he fell back into his chair "What...exactly is written on the poll?"

"Oh nothing." She said, looking away from him.

"Lily, what does the poll say?"

Lily sighed, setting her glass down "what will happen first: the reapers wiping out the galaxy or Aiden and Persephone getting together?"

Aiden looked at her, eyes wide, he never got mad at his sister and he couldn't say he was now, it wasn't surprising behavior from her, he was simply mortified. Did Persephone know? God he hoped not.

"It's all harmless fun Ai." She said with a wave of her hand.

"Fine, but are you betting against me or for me?"

"Aiden! I'm appalled! Of course I'm betting for you, you're my brother."

"What kind of money is on it anyway?"

"Just a few thousand credits." She said nonchalantly.

"Thousand?!" Is the whole crew in on it?!"

Lily thought about it as she shoved a sushi roll in her mouth "No...like about….eighty percent?"

"Eighty?!"

She shrugged "More or less, Aiden if I were any good at math I wouldn't be a marine okay?"

Aiden sighed, resting his head on the table, he wondered what Persephone thought of all this, if she even knew about it, he imagined Kaidan did but he wasn’t a gossip so he wasn’t concerned about her finding out from him “You’re the absolute worst.” he sighed.

----------------------

Lily sat on the counter in the mess hall kitchen, watching them like a hawk as Aiden and Persephone conversed over breakfast, she hadn’t the faintest clue to what they could be talking about but Persephone had been laughing quite a bit, it had to be her way of flirting, there was no way her brother was that funny and Lily of all people would know. “Hey babe.” She said, sipping her hot cocoa as she waited for Kaidan to finish making breakfast.

Kaidan looked over his shoulder “Yeah?”

“I think i’m gonna add more money to the poll.” she told him, eyes still fixated on the pair.

Kaidan rolled his eyes “I still think it’s an invasion of privacy.”

“Hush, and besides there was one for us on the SR-1.”

“You’re joking.” at least he hoped so.

Lily shook her head “Swear on my life, where do you think I got the idea?”

He sighed as he went back to cooking “Do they even know about it?”

Lily plucked one of the marshmallows out of her mug and very elegantly placed it in her mouth “It’s a small ship.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a maybe.”

“Well whatever,” Kaidan placed the contents of the pan onto a plate and handed it to her “here.”

Lily smiled, “Perks of dating a canadian, they make the best bacon.”

“That’s a stereotype.” he said as he turned off the stove.

“Sure, like you putting canadian bacon on your pizza is a stereotype.” she said as she put whatever passed for syrup up in space on her bacon, Kaidan shuddering as he watched in disgust.

“First of all it’s just ham, second of all that’s disgusting.”

“Why because it’s not maple syrup?” she gave him a playful wink as she sucked a stray drop off her finger.

Kaidan scoffed “No.”

“Snob.” Lily teased as she exited the small kitchen, Kaidan following behind her.

They sat at the other end of the table “Not sitting with your brother today?” Kaidan asked, a little surprised they only did that when they fought and they hardly ever fought.

Lily shook her head “Nope! I’m gonna let whatever that is play out.” she said smugly, as if them talking was her doing. Kaidan still didn’t think it was any of their business but when did Lily ever listen to him? “I know it might seem like meddling but I really just want them to be happy and it seems to me that they make each other happy, he’s had a crush on her since we were kids after all.” she watched them talk with a gentle smile on her face, there was one thing people forgot about her, something hidden behind her imp like behavior and it was that she actually had a good heart. She wasn’t callous just for the sake of it, if she cared about someone she wanted what was best for them and it may seem like meddling to people on the outside but she did care about Aiden and Persephone and wanted them both to be happy and if that happiness lay with each other then she wanted to help even if it was from the sidelines.

Lily smiled and she had just the idea “Kaidan, how hard would it be to overload one of the elevators in here?”

“Edi might have some firewalls that prevent hacking but overloading it shouldn’t be-” he paused, she was up to something “why?”

“Oh...no reason.” If they wouldn’t deal with this on their own then she’d force their hand “just call it tough sibling love.”

---------------

Persephone arched her back, bringing her arm up as far as she could, her finger tips only barely brushing against the zipper to her under armor as she tried to pull it down but to no avail “Ugh!” she groaned looking around for someone to help when her eyes landed on Aiden who had the top part of his hanging around his waist as he worked on taking off his greaves. Don’t stare Persephone. Don’t. She repeated in her head but it was impossible, it was a wonder he didn’t already have someone waiting for him, she had heard from Lily he was with Liara briefly but not anymore. For someone as handsome and just down right charming as he was, she couldn’t believe it.

Persephone cleared her throat “Aiden, could I get your help?” she asked as composed as she possibly could.

Aiden looked up, his eyes peeking through the long black hair that had fallen out of his bun and into his face “Yeah?” did he even know how cute he was? Was it on purpose? He was driving her insane.

“I can’t unzip my under armor, could you help me?” She tried not to make her voice sound like those girls in the extranet fetish vids joker kept on his hard drive but she was essentially asking him to undress her, it was gonna sound like that no matter what tone she used. Good thing she never was one for batting her eyelashes or this interaction would have a totally different connotation.

Aiden felt his face flush, Persephone wanted him to….what? In reality it was just pulling her zipper down enough to where she could reach it herself but even still “Uh yeah, yeah of course.”

Luckily she had to face away from him anyway because it was getting hard to keep her composure the closer he got to her “Just midway should be fine.” she told him, voice as cool as a cucumber.

“Gotcha” There was nothing sensual about this, just one soldier helping another with their zipper, nothing more nothing less. Aiden swallowed hard as he slowly pulled the zipper down her back, trying not to stare as he revealed more of that perfectly tan skin of hers.

Persephone couldn’t breath, her mind was going a mile a minute thinking of all the possible scenarios where the context of him undressing her would be much different and she needed to stop. To think of anything other than what his hands would feel like on her skin, the scent of the cologne he wore that had long worn off by now and what his stubble would feel like on her- “Okay, there you go.” he said snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Oh...uh right, thank you.” Persephone reached her hand back, finally able to reach the zipper and part of her wanted to undress in front of him but it was still fraternization and in the middle of a war who was really paying attention, Lily and Kaidan being a prime example of that and at this point it was just a convenient excuse for her to use to deny what she actually wanted.

Aiden turned and walked away to finish taking off his own armor, doing his best not to look at Persephone as he did.

“Ya know Persephone you should really invest in a catsuit like me.” Lily suggested, half teasing.

“A catsuit?”

Lily nodded “Yup, zipper in the front so when you’re done you can just slide it right off no problem and it's also pretty comfy.”

“Those offer no damage protection and not only that, the alliance doesn’t allow them for obvious reasons.” Aiden interjected as he tried not to imagine her in a catsuit.

“Yeah well the handbook says we can wear what we want if N7 is written somewhere on it and,” Lily pointed at her “she’s part of the club like us so technically if she wanted to she could.”

Persephone giggled “I’ll take it into consideration Lily, thank you.”

“See Aiden, I was only trying to help my friend.” She said with a smirk.

Aiden rolled his eyes ‘Sure.” she couldn’t fool him but he really hoped Persephone didn’t take her advice, he wasn’t sure he’d survive seeing her in a catsuit even if for one mission.

The four of them walked to the elevator, Lily grabbing Kaidan’s wrist and pulling him back as she overloaded the elevator, the doors closing and locking Aiden and Persephone in together. “Did you just do what I think you did?” Kaidan asked.

“Yup and they aren’t leaving until they’ve kissed at least.” She stated matter of fact as she sat on the unoccupied weapons bench.

Kaidan sighed, in reality he could’ve just as easily gotten them out of there but he knew if he did Lily wouldn’t be too happy with him and the cons of that out weighed the pros unfortunately.

“Did she just?” Persephone asked, baffled.

“Yup.” Aiden nodded.

“Why?” she asked again.

“Who knows.” He sure as hell couldn’t read his sister’s mind no matter how hard he tried and he has tried.

Brown eyes met ocean blue and god it was such a cliche but he could’ve drowned in them, not just her eyes either, everything about her was beautiful, he thought he had gotten over his crush but the more he was around her the more these feelings he harbored for her so long ago came back but even stronger now. It was stupid to hope for anything, there was a war and she had ended her egagement not too long ago and he didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for her if he said anything and he cetianlly wasn’t about to set himself up just to be rejected.

“Commander, I have something I want to say to you.” it was stupid to call him by his rank just to tell him about her feelings for him but she was nervous and her brain automatically defaulted back to work.

Aiden went fully into commander mode “Of course, now’s as good a time as any.”

“Listen Aiden, I like you.”

Aiden blinked at her, his brain short circuiting as he processed what she just said “I like you too Persephone, you’re a valuable crew member and friend.” that had to be what she meant right?

She sighed “Aiden what I mean is, I like you, like really like you.”

Aiden was in full panic mode, did she mean…? No, No of course not! Couldn’t be “As a friend?”

“No Aiden,” god he was dense, beautiful, but so very dense “I mean I have feelings for you.” she bluntly told him “romantic feelings.”

“O-oh…” He said, his voice cracking “that’s uh...that’s great…”

“Great?” She raised an eyebrow at him, she thought he felt the same, had she been wrong?

“Yeah, I mean...yeah!” Aiden had never been a smooth talker, he got flustered way too easily and some people found it endearing other’s not so much. Hopefully Persephone wasn’t the latter.

“Do you not like me?”

“No I do!” He exclaimed, shocking them both “I uh...I always have.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You and Thomas were so close and you’re gorgeous and as you can see i’m incredibly awkward with these things and I didn’t think I even had a chance so….”

This time it was her turn to be surprised “You’ve had feelings for me since we were kids?”

Aiden nodded “Yeah, I thought they went away and when I saw you again and got to spend more time with you they all came back, I don’t know if it’s because we’re both survivors of the raid or because you’re a vanguard like me but they’re different from the boyish crush I had on you years ago.” he confessed.

Persephone couldn’t help herself, after hearing how he truly felt, that after all these years he still had feelings for her, it was almost a miracle, she didn’t believe in soul mates but what were the odds that after all these years they’d find each other again and that he’d still have feelings for her. Persephone pushed Aiden back against the wall of the elevator, kissing him, he was taller than her but her heels made kissing him a much easier feat as opposed to if she was Lily’s height.

Aiden’s eyes widened in surprise, every muscle tensed at the feelings of her lips on his, he could hardly believe this was happening, guess he had to thank his sister later. He wrapped one arm around her waist and tangled a hand in her blonde hair as they kissed, both intoxicated by each other as soon as the elevator was working they were going straight to the captain's cabin there was no denying that, it was just a question of who hit the button first.

Suddenly the elevator started moving again, pulling them apart, a message from Lily pinging his omni-tool.

“You’re welcome ;)”

Was all it said and he rolled his eyes “That brat…” he said under his breath, he couldn’t be too mad considering how it turned out but that wasn’t the point.

Suddenly the elevator stopped and Persephone was dragging him into the cabin “Think you still have some energy after that mission soldier?” she winked.

Aiden smirked, picking her up, making her giggle as he carried her the rest of the way “Aye aye ma’am.”

#lilyshep #aidenshep #persephone shepard

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

Text

February 10: 2x06 The Doomsday Machine

Took a nap after work and really discombobulated myself. Then got a bit of a second wind watching Star Trek.

I believe I have seen this episode before but I had no memory of it going in and no memory of seeing it before even now that I’ve finished, so, who knows?

Where’s Uhura? Hopefully on shore leave somewhere having fun!

I feel like this other Communications officer walked over to the Captain’s chair hoping Kirk would acknowledge her lol. Then when he doesn’t, she doesn’t really know what to do with herself.

Some of the shots in this opening are really weird: the angle of Kirk and Spock at Spock’s station; the camera suddenly randomly dropping right before Kirk starts walking down the step.

DECKER?? Rev. Spice Boy’s father perhaps?

Hmm so the Constellation is another Constitution class like the Enterprise and the Intrepid. I always get a kick out of seeing other space ships of that same shape for some reason.

Mr. Spock in command.

Poor ship! In an aesthetically pleasing disarray, completely abandoned.

Kirk is a very good detective. “They didn’t leave any random mess, so they must have left on purpose.”

Spock in the chair!

Found Decker!

I know he has to be a Commodore to outrank Kirk later but... why is a Commodore in space? Or in other words, why isn’t the Constellation captained by a Captain?

Does Jim know everyone in Starfleet? He’s just that guy, isn’t he? He has a lot of acquaintances and he’s very friendly and easily charming so he just kind of collects people (especially Starfleet people since it is his WHOLE adult life) but he doesn’t have that many close friends or lasting romantic relationships; he’s hard to get really, properly close to.

Well that’s the mystery of the crew solved :( That’s like tragically sad.

I like when Kirk is smart and understands star ships.

Decker is not being very helpful here in actually explaining what the Threat is! Still, that’s a very classic horror trope: an evil so terrible that it is beyond description. (Alternately, he could have just said “giant windsock dipped in cement,” which is what it was.)

Robot weapon!! Giant ancient alien robot weapon just floating around space, following its orders mindlessly because it is just a machine, a tool set loose by people no longer around to control or restrain it... I love that. That’s so cool and scary and weird all at once.

A space legend!! The Doomsday machine... The most terrible of all weapons, never meant to be used... it destroyed its makers and continues to destroy still...

Really into the visual of towing a ship through space.

We must deactivate the robot!

Now Kirk will repair the ship.

The Commodore is recovering, I see... at least nominally.

“Logically our primary duty is to save Captain Kirk.”

Spock is getting outranked!! Awkward lol. Not a good idea to try to outmaneuver Spock in any way, rank or no. He is Savage and he WILL bring up your dead crew. He is Pissed. The subtlety.

McCoy is soo the audience in this scene. “So are you.. Sir.” That patented rocking motion. Trying to get over, under, around, or through the regulations to do what’s right.

Is the Commodore chewing on one of the floppy disks? That seems pretty weird to me. You can’t EAT them.

Mmm, Kirk working on the ship; sexy. Yet again he must fly the whole constitution class ship BY HIMSELF.

The thing is that Spice Boy Sr. IS unfit for command; anyone who saw him 10 minutes earlier on the Constellation would know that.

I love that not!Uhura doesn’t even try to tell the Commodore the status report; she talks to Spock because she knows who the real boss is here.

Spock, always on the lookout for how to use regulations to get himself back in the chair. Also foreshadowing the suicide.

Now Kirk will distract the evil robot to save Spock!!

Got that ship doing with only Scotty’s help, working all the controls, flying the whole damn thing himself like the bamf he is. Gotta zig zag around to tempt and confuse the robot.

“Scotty you’ve earned your pay for the week.” They get paid lol? In what?

Now the robot machine is eating.

Love Spock’s little, subtle eyebrow raise when he hears Kirk’s name.

This scene is gold lol. Kirk’s not going to let Decker speak for Spock. “Where’s Spock? Give me Mr. Spock. What happened to Spock?” Like good news is that it wasn’t Spock being reckless with the ship but bad news is where is he??

Another regulations show down. “You can file a formal complaint but for now.. out of the chair. Or I shall snap my fingers and have security escort you out.”

Vulcans bluff all the time lmao.

Ah ha, now to get him officially declared unfit.

And now for the required hand to hand combat scene. This ep really does have everything.

The shuttlecraft is escaping!

I love that when Sulu announces that the shuttlecraft doors are opening, Spock’s just like “Well...close them. Duh.”

RIP Decker... The inevitable end of that character.

Spock wants Kirk back on the Enterprise immediately.

I know Kirk is slightly annoyed when Spock corrects his math but like...you know he also finds it sexy.

“Jim, you’ll be killed.” / “Don’t worry bb I don’t intend to die.” Is that not the dialogue?

Now Scotty has to solve literally everything himself.

The tension!!

“Gentlemen, beam me aboard.” That tone, though. That’s such a Kirk tone, like he’s got to be the Cool Boss even and especially in moments of high stakes. That subtle humor Shatner brought to him.

I knew they’re going to save him and I also knew they’d do it at the laaaast possible moment but I was still really scared.

Spock is so in love. The way he looks at Kirk at his return and welcomes him aboard... Such relief.

And then some classic end of episode dialogue: Spock thoughtfully points out the larger implications of their adventure--that they might have only destroyed one of many planet killers still out there--while Kirk, all relaxed and happy now that the current problem has been solved, and still riding the high of his recent adventure, just makes a funny, minimizing remark. “I found one quite sufficient.” Little flirty smile for no reason.

And so the space legend lives on...

I loved this episode. It really had everything: great sci fi concept; K/S content; Starfleet regulations; a fist fight; aliens; a connection to the current events of its time (with the comparison to the H bomb, asking people to think about the long range/unintended consequences of our extreme weaponry); Kirk being heroic and good at his job; a tense finale.

I feel like this episode seems on its face to show the Kirk and Spock dichotomy that STID and the other AOS movies were trying to depict but like... AOS didn't get it. Like yes Spock quotes all the regulations and ultimately listens to Decker's regulation citing, and Kirk's like "yeah whatever screw those regulations,” but Spock is obviously making strategic decisions and he's always on the lookout for how to use the regs to his advantage--it's not just obeying for the sake of obeying. And Kirk isn't just cavalierly not caring about the rules--he's in an emergency situation and he reads it for what it is, a test of will, where regulations are being weaponized. And he weaponizes them, too: he knows Spock is his direct subordinate and not only will obey him but NEEDS to, per those same regulations.

All 3 of them, including McCoy, know both the regulations and their own morality; they're not that different, but they have different levels of power and different abilities with regard to how they use regulations and how they can interact with other people of other ranks. They ALL want to do what’s right and they will ALL either use or discard regulations as they see fit, to the best of their ability.

AOS just flattened it, in STID in particular: Spock likes rules and doesn't care about anything else and Kirk hates rules and never listens to them.

Of course Kirk in TOS is a decade older and has a lot more experience. Episodes like this make me think about how that experience is one of the huge differences between TOS and AOS Kirk (STXI and STID in particular). You can't fake 15 years of Starfleet experience. you just can't. Could AOS Kirk get down on the ground and fix the Constellation himself and fly it by himself? Probably not.

I get why the AOS verse ran itself into that corner, and in fact it doesn’t matter in STXI, where the narrative is a contained, emergency situation, and Kirk’s command is a field promotion for a discrete and limited purpose, but I do think the movies struggled with that conundrum later. No one has the time to grow and mature in a normal way. How do you build them up over time when you skipped over that development period they logically should have had, both as professionals and as people?

I appreciate STID in theory for trying to address that issue, I just think it did it badly. Like its Kirk narrative was supposed to be about "earning the chair" but it didn't keep Kirk IC while doing that, nor did it address the real problem: he's not just A Rebel, but he is verrrry inexperienced. (I know you could make arguments about his AOS background changing his personality blah blah blah I’ve seen STID recently and in my opinion it just doesn’t feel right.)

Then STB tried to skip over the issue by just pushing the narrative forward to mid-5YM. Well they’re magically experienced now! And that was even worse. So, what can you do?

Anyway that was a big AOS tangent lol.

Next ep is Catspaw. A little late for Halloween but always great nonetheless!

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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unabletoforget · 3 years

Text

I Miss My Lover Man

@pranking-masters

Jillian sat with her knees pulled up to her chest in the corner of her ratty old couch, watching the smoke slowly rise from the half smoked cigarette between her fingers. She had smoked a few times here and there when she was younger but she had stopped when Harry was born, wanting to think of his health and be careful around him. But with Harry gone and most everyone she loved dead, why should she care for her health? She had picked the habit back up about a week after James and Lily died, having been too distraught up until then to even remember what a cigarette was. Remus tried to talk her out of it, to tell her that Lily had been so proud of her when she had quit. Her response, as she had so eloquently put it on that cold November day, was ‘Lily’s dead, it doesn’t matter anymore...nothing matters anymore.’

She often wondered if that statement had been part of why Remus had left, wondered if he had gone away because he didn’t think he mattered to her at all anymore. It wasn’t that she stopped caring about Remus that day, it was the opposite in fact. She adored him so completely, he was all she had left, but it felt so much easier to cut herself off from the world that day. Lily died, James died, Peter died...and Sirius was to blame for it all. And not only had he betrayed their dearest friends, put their god son in danger, but he had killed all those muggles in the process. If he did it at all. No, he had to have done it. The Ministry had been so sure of it, especially Barty Crouch Sr. Well, then again, he wasn’t all there, was he?

Barty Crouch Sr was a man hell bent on revenge, though she wasn’t quite sure what crime had been committed to make him so hell bent on such a mission. He was a wizard drunk on his power and authority in a time of extreme chaos. Hell, the man had even locked away his own son under the accusations of having been involved in the torture of Alice and Frank Longbottom. God, that was an entire other can of worms she didn’t want to open. Alice and Frank were her friends, and even thinking about them or hearing their names made Jillian’s chest feel tighter. When they had been attacked she knew the world had truly fallen apart, since even the fall of Voldemort had not ended the pain to their people. Damn the LeStrange family. And to think, if her mother had gotten her way, she would have been married to Rabastan as soon as she graduated. Thank Merlin for her rebellious nature. But...it wasn’t that alone that saved her, was it? No, it had been Lily and James, it had been Peter and Remus. It had been...it had been Sirius.

Jillian swallowed thickly and took another drag of her cigarette, a long one that lasted so long she was surprised the entire thing didn’t burn out. She held the smoke in her lungs for so long it made her chest burn, preferring the physical pain in her body over the pain in her heart and in her soul. She sniffled softly, another tear rolling down her cheek as she flicked the ashes off of her cigarette into the tray she had balancing on the arm of the sofa she sat on. “You were doing so well,” she heard from the corner of the room. Jillian tensed at the sound of the overly kind voice ringing in her ears. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t true, it was all in her head. “You promised me you wouldn’t do this anymore,” the voice said again, a flash of red hair catching Jillian’s attention. She turned her head to see Lily standing in the corner of the room, her arms behind her back as she leaned on the wall.

“And you promised me you would be safe. Guess we’re both liars,” she said bitterly, watching as Lily sighed heavily and shook her head. Lily always accused Jillian of being the dramatic one, which was mostly true, especially when she and Sirius got together. But Lily was partial to her own form of dramatics as well, she just wasn’t as theatrical about it as Jillian and Sirius were, not even as much as James really.

“I didn’t do that on purpose. This, this you are doing on purpose,” Lily said, pushing herself off the wall and slowly walking over to the sofa before sitting on the other side, Jillian not hesitating to take notice of the fact that she didn’t feel the weight in the sofa cushions shift. “Jilly...you have to stop punishing yourself for what happened.”

“I can’t,” Jillian responded quickly, not daring to look at Lily as she stared at the dwindling cigarette in her hand. “I should have been able to save you. To save James and Peter and Harry...to stop Sirius,” she choked out. “He was my responsibility, just like James was yours. I...I should have been there. It should have been me, not you.”

“Jilly Bean…” Lily whispered softly before Jillian cut her off.

“No! It's true. You were always more useful to the Order than I was. Your potions were stronger than mine, you were better with people than me, you were a better soldier than I was...you were smarter than me. And if I was smart like you, you would still be,” she said softly.

“That isn’t how it works and you know it,” Lily said firmly, causing Jillian to glance over at her. She was exactly how she remembered her. A face full of freckles, hair as fiery as her heart and green eyes as piercing as a sword. She wouldn’t have it any other way. “Even if you had been there, you couldn’t have saved me. You couldn’t have saved James. And Peter, well I wasn’t there for that but if all those muggles didn’t stand a chance then neither did he, so don’t you go feeling responsible for his death either,” she chastised.

Jillian stiffened as Lily talked about Peter, his sweet face flashing behind her eyes as she slumped further into the couch. “And as for Harry...well it turns out he didn’t need saving,” Lily said. And even though Jillian wasn’t looking at her, she could hear the smile in her voice. “That little boy made it out of the impossible. And he is going to be the strongest of us all someday. And if you don’t quit smoking, if you don’t take care of yourself and get out of this hell hole for a little while, you won’t be there when he needs you. Because Jill, he will need you. He will need you to guide him and love him, to protect him and take care of him because his father and I can’t,” Lily reasoned.

Jillian shifted as if uncomfortable, like she was trying to curl in on herself to keep away from Lily because she thought touching her might make her vanish. “I miss you,” Jillian said softly, barely above a whisper. “I miss talking to you.”

“We’re talking right now, Jilly,” Lily pointed out with a tilt of her head.

“You’re not real. You’re in my head...a figment inside my mind.”

“Well, of course I am,” Lily said, her smile brightening a bit as she spoke, making Jillian turn her head in confusion. “But why should that mean it isn’t real anyway?”

Jillian felt tears balancing on her lower lashes before shaking her head, laughing softly. “I hate you,” she said.

“No you don’t,” Lily responded smoothly. Just like old times.

“No...I don’t,” Jillian agreed, leaning her head back on the couch as she watched Lily. “I still miss you though.”

Lily smiled, knowingly almost, like how a mother would look at a child. “I miss you too.”

Jillian watched Lily with an ache in her chest, wishing she could just reach out and grab her hand. Lily always had soft hands, she wasn’t sure why she remembered that. Maybe it was because it fit so well with her gentle nature. Just like how she remembered James always had the best hugs and Peter always had the biggest appetite. “Jilly,” Lily said, causing Jillian to look up from her hands to her face. “We aren’t all gone, you know.”

Jillian sighed and nodded “I know. I don’t mean to push Remus away I just...it's so hard to be a person around him when I worry maybe he blames me too. Even if he did, he would be too kind to say it,” she pointed out.

Lily shook her head “He doesn’t and you know it. You two need each other, you should call him,” she pointed out. Jillian nodded but didn’t say anything, almost ashamed to know that she was right. Remus wasn’t the only one at fault here, she was too. “And Sirius isn’t dead you know...he can still come home.”

Jillian flinched at the sound of his name as something tickled her mind, her head shaking “He betrayed you.”

Lily shook her head and sat up a little bit better “You’ve been in love with him since we were fifteen years old, you know there isn’t an evil bone in his body. It's just me and you here, you can be honest...do you really believe he did it?” she asked slowly.

Jillian swallowed thickly as her mind fell back to every beautiful moment she had ever had with Sirius, every moment where he had ever made her feel loved and beautiful. Each kiss, every time they made love, the way he whispered in her ear, even down to the look in his eyes when they held each other at night. That man wasn’t evil, that man wasn’t heartless, that man wasn’t a murderer. That man would never betray his friends. Jillian’s lower lip trembled as she shook her head “N-No,” she admitted. “I-I think it just...it’s easier for me to blame him. To say he did it rather than to think he...to think he is suffering in there for no reason. To think you...whoever betrayed you will never be brought to justice.”

“But do you still trust him?” Lily asked plainly.

Jillian felt a sense in her stomach that told her the answer to that one clearly. “W-With my life.”

“And do you still love him?”

That one was easy. “Always.”

Lily slowly smiled again and nodded once, standing up from the couch, as if she was going to leave. “Then stop smoking. Because when Sirius gets out of prison, and that stubborn ass will get out, he will need a healthy girlfriend to take care of him. One that will fight by his side to get my son back. It’s going to be a long road, you should travel it with him. I wouldn’t have traveled the road I went down without James. Don’t go down this one without Sirius. Or without Remus. Harry will need all of you.” Lily nodded her head once and turned as if she was walking away towards the hall, causing Jillian to sit up quickly and press her cigarette into the ashtray, moving it to sit on the coffee table.

“Lils!” she said hurriedly, standing up but not following her because it wouldn’t do any good. She watched Lily turn around, catching those green eyes again. “What if I’m wrong?” she asked. “What if I’m wrong and he did it and I love him still?”

Lily smiled warmly, shaking her head as if she had said something silly. “I know you better than anyone. You wouldn’t love a monster. And you adore him. You’re not wrong. He didn’t do this to me. But he is the only person who can help you find whoever did. He needs you, and you need him.” And like that, Lily seemed to fade right in front of her eyes. Jillian felt an ache in her stomach as she whimpered, holding her stomach as she fell back onto the couch, curling her legs up underneath of her. She was crying too hard to hear the front door opening, and even if she had heard it, she didn’t think she would believe it was real at this point considering her dead best friend just came to give her relationship advice.

No, none of it mattered now. And as Jillian cried into the couch, her body trembling and her heart broken, she realized that at the end of it all nothing had changed. She was all alone.

#pranking-masters #thread: I Miss My Lover Man #v; au #x: queue & cunning

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