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littleprincepaladin · 5 months

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i don't think people in the fandom talk enough about how stupidly traumatising the abduction and the whole nautiloid thing must've been for Tav... or, really, any of the characters that were there. like i don't think its even ever addressed in the game, at least to my knowledge? so have this soft Raphael thingie, comfort for the nightmares.

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Tav tossed and turned, bedsheets a mess below their stiffened limbs as heavy breaths escaped their throat. How long have it been? Months, years, maybe even a decade at this point? In dreams time is as elusive as a sea snake, just as slippery.

They relive it more often than they'd like to admit, but who wouldn't? The nautiloid was a nightmare. The scent of burning flesh, the slime on their hands mixing with blood, the faintest wriggling somewhere above their right eye.

Everything is unfamiliar, and they feel like a cornered animal. The painfully quick way their heart started to race and thud against their ribs, the blur in their vision as they looked out into the broken crimson wasteland that is Avernus. The cold realisation.

They taste the iron on their tongue, and the edges of their peripheral are soft and way too bright as they stumble their way out of the room, past the corpses and the tadpole sludge. They barely remember the gith woman's face, barely remember the trapped girl in one of the pods - have they saved her or not? Have they even got out?

Perhaps they got there too late, the dragon took the last strike and the vessel fell to the ground like a bird with an arrow through it's throat... perhaps it didn't. Did the ship fell into the depths of Hell, or has it fell onto the shore? Were they surrounded by imps and devils, or by goblins and the gnolls? Have they even made it out at all?

It wriggles somewhere underneath the surface, biting into the soft flesh, taking out chunks until it gets to the main course. Their brain is succulent, a perfect meal, a perfect nest. It's slimy tail wags with excitement as it crawls and crawls and crawls and crawls to the depths they never knew they had, bites into tissue they never felt before, and crawls once more.

They feel the skin of their face break and fall apart, they feel the bone of their jaw crack under the pressure of the tendrils as their body splits open, and its nothing but blood and gore and slime.

There is heat somewhere on their back, hellish heat, and Tav tenses as they try to get away even as their limbs won't listen. From the nautiloid, from the ash and the sulfur, from the war-torn land below as the vessel continues to fall.

They arrived too late to the helm, the illithid laid dead at the hellspawn's feet as it moved to take hold of them, and the heat got so much worse, surrounding, suffocating, they scream as the cambion grabs them, as they are pushed down into the ground, as the flaming sword comes closer to their rigid body and...

"Calm yourself," a familiar voice hisses somewhere at the back of their mind, and they snap awake, gasping for air as though they are a fish learning to breathe out of water. There is heat all around, including on their cheeks, trails of tears so hot they're convinced they will soon start to sizzle. But they stop thrashing about, their vision slowly coming back to sharp and clear as they open their eyes.

Raphael doesn't look pleased in the slightest. He looks irritated, face scrunched up in a scowl, his hair a mess as he holds them down, warmth prominent where his fingers almost bruise into their shoulders, where his claws leave faint marks. He's not particularly sorry about either of those.

"Quite done? Good," the devil chides, his voice hoarse and heavy with slumber as he holds them for a moment longer, and only then lays back down on his side of the bed, tail thumping against the mattress in annoyance. "One more stunt like this and I shall have you sleep on the floors of the dungeon instead," Raphael quips as he rubs his side, where Tav accidentally kicked him in their sleep, and from what it looks like, the kick was a critical success.

They look into the ceiling as they still lay there, cold sweat running down their forehead and slicking up the palms of their hands as their brain settles on one simple truth: it is over. It was over. Its been over for a while.

Nothing writhes behind their eye no longer, and the surrounding heat, although hellish... is familiar. Is comforting. Is his.

Raphael lets out a brief 'oof' as he is pulled almost painfully closer to the mortal, their arms tight around his body as Tav buries their nose in the crook of his neck, frantically breathing in the fading, faint smell of cherries. For them it's grounding, for the cambion not so much.

"Do refrain from testing my patience, mouse," he hisses through gritted teeth, but his voice carries less threat than he so obviously wants it to, instead being full of simple mortal exhaustion. But when they refuse to remove themselves from him, Raphael scoffs, relenting. They are lucky, right now anyhow.

The devil settles against them, hands coming down around their waist as he pulls them into a curled up embrace, his wings covering them like a crimson blanket. Raphael rests his cheek just above Tav's head, his nose against the pillow as he hears their breathing slowly start to even out and shuts his eyes.

Silence and darkness hangs over the two in a comfortable heavy weight, pressing down onto their bodies as the devil's heat renders Tav soft and numb, but they are far from sleepy now. They sigh into his throat, feeling the slightest stubble of his chin scratch ever so slightly against their forehead.

They don't want to close their eyes. That faint writhing and wriggling, it lingers somewhere in the depths of their subconsciousness, waiting in deceitful obedience. Tav spends what feels like an eternity just laying there, breathing in the cambion's scent.

"I dreamt of it," they whisper into his skin, and are surprised just how strained their voice sounds at that moment. Only then they realise the tears are still running down their cheeks, pooling onto the fabric of the pillow underneath and onto Raphael's neck. "Again... it's all of that again."

The noise in their ears subsides and they can hear their sobbing, and his breathing. Their eyes begin to sting as they try to calm down, but it makes the matters worse, their own breathing turning into sharp inhales once again, and as they breathe out it sounds like a quiet whimper everytime.

Tav tries to speak, but their words end up slurring together into an incoherent, quiet mess so much so even they themself don't understand what they wanted to say. They grip tight onto the devil's body, fingers finding the familiar ridges on his back, almost using them to cling onto sanity.

Raphael brings them close, his touch firm as he rests one hand against their cheek, brushing his thumb against the tear-stained redness of their skin. He sighs as he presses his own face against theirs, his breath hot.

"Quiet now, mouse," he lets out in a humm, his tone - a stone wall, cold, but just what a tired soul needs to lean on, and so they do. The claws against their scalp feels comforting as he brushes a lock of their hair behind their ear. "Don't mull over business long concluded, its unproductive."

They sniffle, and he grumbles in irritation and the want to go back to sleep.

"Not even the baldurians talk of it by now and yet your mind persists," Raphael scoffs, settling firmer against them as he hooks his leg over their own, practically trapping them in a haze of heat and crimson red. They welcome the pressure even when they feel the air leave their lungs from the sheer weight of the cambion.

So soft... it's not the first time Tav touches him like this, no, but the softness of his body surprises them everytime. They almost want to squeeze his thigh, affectionately. Perhaps another time.

He sighs against their face as he feels them calm in his arms, and lets his tail circle over their ankle, making it certain they cannot leave... or accidentally kick him again.

"Whoever touches you is sure to burn, little mouse. Now calm yourself," Raphael murmurs, closing his eyes, and only after a long moment of staring at his face does Tav, too, closes theirs.

"It's quite enough for you. Sleep."

#bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #raphael x tav #raphael the cambion #can you tell this wasn't proofread either #I'm not too fond of how I write his speech. but. ah well. I'll learn #because by the looks of it this horned bastard will be in my head for a while #istg if this also gets shadowbanned 😭

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

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Welcome to Spider Society -

A mega-post of my headcanons and (very) loose analysis of Spider Society and How It Works - like day to day. Or rather, how it works for recruits.

I'll be looking at things like dorms, contracts, mentors and more. [All of these are my headcanons really, so take what you like and leave what you don't.]

Recruitment - Your First Days At HQ

Learning about the multiverse can without a doubt be a jarring experience for some - And a new recruit's first days at HQ are usually no different.

Day One - First Contact

Based on the scenario, recruitment can happen one of two ways - each with different procedures based on the situation. Merit Recruit - Merit recruits are Spider-people approached on the grounds of merit, experience, or distinction. Spider-people from especially unique worlds, or those with extensive experience are approached by the Spider Society and extended an official invitation to join. Each potential recruit is profiled based on a number of things, including mental stability, talent, personality, or need. A potential recruit is then matched with an active member - an a first contact is organized. Potential Recruits are algorithmically matched with a Spider-person most likely to successfully recruit them - based on personality, emotional connection potential, and a host of other things. Pavitr Prabhakar, Peter B. Parker, and Hobie Brown are all Merit Recruits. Merit Recruits are more likely to bargain contracts, in order to enter the society at a high rank, or receive more perks. Hobie has bargained his contract for limited days - and he is only called for high profile missions. Other recruits cannot negotiate contacts, but Hobie hopes to unionize and change that.

Supervisory Recruit - A Supervisory Recruit is a Spider-person who is profiled and approached based on their 'need' or a growing concern for the situation of their universe. This mostly includes those from dystopian universes, experiencing their 'Public Enemy' Canon Event, or going through financial hardship. Although this also includes a small class of 'Critical Destabilization' Recruits - Spider-people from universes experience anomalies, or multiversal decay. Although approached as a Merit Recruit - Pavitr's file is now labeled as a Critical Destabilization member. Those with a 'CD' designation typically live in dorms as their worlds are closely monitored. CD Spider-people are deeply 'encouraged' to complete as many Canon Events as possible, in order to avoid possible anomalies.

Educational Recruit - Although rare, there are a small number of Educational Recruits - members approached based on their own educational research of the multiverse. If it is determined that a Spider-person has learned about the multi-verse on through their own research, the Society will make direct contact with them as soon as possible. Only a few high-ranking members are chosen to approach Educational Recruits - ready to answer any scientific questions they may have. Educational Recruits take seniority over Merit Recruits, and are also able to negotiate contracts - including access to Society technology. There is also a small academics program in which incoming Educational Recruits can study under other Genius Spider-people. They're trained in The Society Laboratory to develop new technologies and studying the multiverse. Most Educational Recruits are do not work in the field. Margo Kess is an Educational Recruit and is an early graduate of the academics program. Her job at the Go-Home Machine was negoitated in her contract.

Emergency Recruit - Emergency recruits are those who join the society through an Active Call. Contact is made with the recruit in order to prevent or capture anomalies, and treat multiversal decay. Emergency Recruit's experience an extended introduction period, in which they are emotionally monitored and treated before meeting Miguel and continuing on to their Evaluations. Emergency Recruits live on campus in separate private dorms in order to help with the shock. Gwen is an Emergency Recruit.

Next comes your Evaluations.

Evaluations

One of the most intense parts of joining Spider Society is often the evaluations. Because there are a LOT of them. Still recruits, incoming members take a number of evaluations and tests before becoming trainees. There's no way to fail these tests, but they're lengthy, and the data is used for a number of things, known and unknown

Week 1 - Your First Tests

After a contract is negotiated and a recruit accepts their invitation, the recruit is sent home with some materials in order to process what they've just learned. They're given a date and a time for them to return to meet their mentor and take their evaluations. These evaluations usually take a couple of days and so some may say in the dorms for the duration of this. Their original recruitment member will return to meet the recruit and take them back to HQ - and this is usually a time to bond and ask questions. Your recruitment officer is not the same as your mentor, instead they are someone you are mathematically chosen to get along with most. But how do they determine that? -

Your first evaluation at HQ starts before you even notice. Conversation With Lyla - Personality Analysis Prior to meeting Miguel for the second time, the recruit is asked to sit in the lab Gwen and Miles are shown walking through, and wait for Miguel. During this time, Lyla will appear on the console, and make light conversation with the new recruit. In doing so she begins her first analysis on the recruits humor, confidence, comfortability, extrovertedness, assertiveness, and a number of other things. With this, she begins to construct a profile. This conversation may last somewhere between 4-8 minutes - in which Miguel is given a report on you. Lyla is programmed to make the conversation as light as possible, as the participant should not be aware at the time of the test. Only a few have been able to recognize this tactic for what it is. Hobie being one of them. After questioning Lyla as to what she was, when she explained she was an AI - he stopped talking and refused to speak to her any further at that time. This raised his bargaining price with Miguel immensely. Event Screening - Moral Alignment Analysis Assigned by Lyla, A recruit's moral alignment is a profile taken by Lyla at the beginning of their contract, and annually every year after. Arguably the most time-consuming and tedious of the evaluations. Scenario Screening: A Recruit is seated in a lab with Lyla once more. Lyla shows the recruit a number of semi-realistic scenarios in an immersive simulation - similar to the ones Miguel shows Miles. Recruits are asked to respond to each scenario out loud and explain their reasoning, with Lyla making it as conversational as possible. However, this information is not taken at face value. During this conversation Lyla crossmatches. Career Screening: As you go through the Scenario Screening, Lyla will ALSO crossmatch your answers to past events in your career, pulled from sources like news television, and Daily Bugle reports in order to determine if what you are saying is true to your behavior. Both of these reports are combinded to determine truthfulness, self-awareness, selflessness, spontaneity and a number of other factors. This too is added to your file. A Session with Spider-Psyche - Mental Health Analysis Most people hate this part. The last evaluation is a three-session stint with a Spider-Psyche across three different days. During this time, your mental health will be evaluated, as the therapist begins to ask questions related to your canon events. In doing this, your events will be added to your file. This evaluation determines a recruit's mental stability, past traumas, and - hopefully - help determine their canon events in the future. The mental health analysis is due every six months - for every Spider person on campus. It's mandatory. The mental health center is robust, and appointments are easy to get. There is also a Post-Canon Crisis Center and multiple talk groups open for attendance.

Mentorship

Week 2, Day 1 - Meeting your mentor

Now that Lyla has a full profile of the recruit, they official become a member of the Society, earning their entry level badge - a card that gives access to the food court, showers, and other facilities.

As Lyla combines your evaluations into your file - she uses your Moral Alignment, Personality, and Mental Stability to assign you to an senior advisor to report to.

Mentors are responsible for Mission statuses, training updates, and a number of other things - depending on the recruit type and their needs.

There are many mentors on campus, including Ben Reilly, Lego-Spider-Man (for the non-human Spidey-people), Peter B. Parker, SunSpider, and some others.

Typically, a recruitment agent is a mentor in training. Had Hobie stayed in The Society, he would have achieved Mentor status.

First meeting: Largely determined by the mentor's preferred teach method, the first meeting with your mentor is fully determined by them. And some do not give a heads-up. It's encouraged that mentors visit their trainee's home dimension and/or join them on patrol. Mostly because next week, when you begin training, your mentor's report on you will determine your starting level and skillset. The Following Days: Second & Third Meeting Mentors are also encouraged to take and train their trainees in their own home world - for the trainee to get accustomed to blending in and working out there in the multiverse field. During the third meeting, Trainees are often given a tour of the facilities. Most mentors use this as a time to talk - mainly at the food court - in order to gauge their new trainee's skills, likes, goals, and needs. Report of Status and/or Need: Submitted by the end of Week 2 By the end of Week 2 your mentor will submit a report on you and their thoughts, as well as details on your experience, strengths, and skills. They will also determine things like your category - a descriptor of your fighting and battle techniques. There a nearly a dozen classes of category ranging from 'Speedsters' (Disco-Spider and Brown-Spider), to Wielders (those who wield extra weapons in addition - i.e Spider-Punk). You can fall into two or more categories at once - and your category is a large factor in your selection in particular missions. This entire status report - along with their full file and evaluations - is submitted directly to Miguel, not Lyla. And he reads each and every file. Miguel also requests a Report of Need if neccesary - detailing any struggles - financial, safety, or otherwise, that a trainee may need. For non-emergency recruits, this is also the time to sign up for dorms. In accordance with this report, Mentors must report HOW they're helping their trainee and their progress in need. For example, if a Spider-person is facing eviction or behind on rent, The Society will offer housing aid to assure they can keep their home, and they will continually check in to assures it stays this way. Once again, every one of these reports is screen by Miguel personally. (i.e Jessica is required by this rule to report how many days Gwen has slept on campus each month - as apart of her 'Need Relief Report'. Gwen got in trouble multiple times for spending under the required amount, during her time sleeping at Hobie's.)

Mentor Reports:

Mentors are required to give routine Training and Development Reports routinely - the frequency based on their time with The Society, starting at weekly and decreasing from there.

Personal Report:

You and your mentor may fill out a personal report, either together or by yourself.

This is to detail your feelings as needs as a new member, what you'd like changed, what you need, etc. This can range from anything from needing to set up Spider-psyche appointments, an increase in meal plan, or special accommodations.

Merit and Educational Recruits also fill out a Report of Perks & Benefits, in which they request things like entry into the Education program, private rooms, suit upgrades, and more.

Contract Negotiation: MERIT and EDUCATIONAL only

During this time, Trainees can now negotiate their contracts fully - outside of the Perks & Benefits, though taking more than usual is hard to get out of Miguel. But possible.

This negotiation is a personal sit down with Miguel, your mentor, you and Lyla. Your recruitment advisor can also be present for this as your second rep (besides your menton). After this, their contract is solidified.

Hobie, for example has negotiated a limited amount of mission calls per monthly cycle, earning his file the label of Class S, only reserved for high-level missions cleared by Lyla. Your class is another designation besides your category, however this is determined after Week 3 - your Training Week. Get ready to meet the training rooms and coaches!

___________________________________________ So yeah, that's how I imagine the first week of The Society is like. Based on.... :) haha mmm

But this is all just complete headcanon of how I imagine it - based on things like how I imagine Lyla works or mission teams are form and other stuff.

In my head Hobie, Gwen, Diane, and all Spider-sonas had to go through this lol

Um this was fun if you read this far I really appreciate it!!!! So take this photo of Hobie and uhhh....uhmm uh

Bye.

(also I mention Brown Spider who belongs to @brown-spider

And Disco-Spider Diane who belongs to me!)

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alrightbuckaroo · 2 months

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tender eyes that shine

1/1 | Rating: M | 16.1k | A Carlos Reyes character study in which Carlos learns to love himself a little more, even the soft parts. | All the thanks in the world to @bonheur-cafe for beta reading this one <3

Carlos is eight years old.

His favorite food is pizza flavored Kraft macaroni and cheese, his favorite movie is Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron , his best friend is a stuffed koala named Kique, and at this very moment, he’s heartbroken over the passing of his abuela.

“No llores, nieto,” Carlos’ abuelo tells him during the wake of her funeral. Gray clouds are scattered across the sky and coating the somber event in an even more somber tone.

His abuelo crouches down, his joints cracking and popping as he stoops to Carlos’ eye level. He raises a calloused thumb and wipes away the tears that are still falling from Carlos’ wide brown eyes.

“Men like us,” His abuelo continues, his words casting a wide net. ‘Men like us’ is synonymous with anyone that looks like Carlos, has his skin tone, or shares his namesake. “We don’t let the world pity us, we can’t let them see us as soft.”

Carlos nods, wiping away any new tears that are starting to fall. The right sleeve of his charcoal gray suit now comes away colored a staunch black where Carlos’ tears have dampened it.

For some reason, the way his abuelo says ‘soft’ ricochets off of Carlos, as if it were stone and Carlos is a thin sheet of glass nestled into a window pane. It’s left a dent, an imprint, an impression, but hasn’t done enough damage to cause a crack.

Carlos’ bloodshot eyes shine with hesitation as he asks, voice small and insecure, “Reyes men don’t cry?

“Reyes men don’t cry,” His abuelo confirms.

continued on ao3.

#ah! it's finally here! my favorite little labor of love is ready for consumption!#here's hoping this one makes every kind of sense #i was up until 5 a.m. trying to proofread this one in one sitting and somehow it got 200 words longer???#fic: tender eyes that shine #series: how to be a human being #my writing #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 ls #911 lone star #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic #tarlos fanfic

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fear-is-truth · 6 months

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work in progress. (requested by anon)

k gotta start doing my actual homework fr lol.

#too exhausted to proofread #american horror story #wip #kai anderson #evan peters #ahs cult #ahs #kai anderson x y/n #kai anderson x reader

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nnnneeev · 7 months

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OMG WAIT what is your fav solomon card of all time? :3

anon i can't just pick one sol card hhwghhsh😭

i love all my solomon cards but these are the ones that i usually revisit whenever im in a solomon mood

(it got too long so im putting it under the cut)

Solomon the Researcher. the card arts is one of my favs (this one's currently my phone wallpaper hehe) and god. the devilgram. 10/10. to summarize it, solomon and mc both stayed late in RAD to finish his research, then after they're both done and have only a few hours left before heading to class, if you chose the option 'i want to kiss you', he will confess that he was actually wanting to hold them that whole time and if he did that earlier he wouldn't have made any progress in his research and then he'll kiss them twice depending on your answer. (i recommend choosing every option in this dg <3)

also, not just in this devilgram but on the others as well, it's implied that he and mc walk home together and i think that's very sweet, considering that they don't even live together and must part ways at some point (or does he drop them off to HoL's doorstep?)

(ramble ramble because in this card the game kinda assumed that mc doesnt wear glasses, hence solomon's comment to mc when they wore the enchanted glasses, he said to them how good they look with one. so what about the mcs who already wears glasses???? lmao anyways i just find that funny)

Up on the Pole! i went back to get this one from the lonely devil. the sheer sexiness of the deflowered version is just 👁️👁️✨👌. who would've thought that this man can do That. his bunny boy outfit also looks really good on him <333. a little summary on the devilgram, he was chosen to do the pole dancing segment, and mc accompanies him while he practices. while he scenes are romantic and all, it's his dialogues that really gets me. assertive? unfiltered? i can't quite pin the exact word to describe it but it's somewhere between those lines

also he gets jealous of a bunny lmao. idk what lesson or card but in the hourly solomon bot in twttr there was a quote saying that he was jealous of a plant. (oh, solomon.)

Dancing With the Petals. ah yiz, the card that got him to the no.1 spot. I was hoping to get barbatos and solomon's card that time but only he came home (on my free pulls too). to summarize the dg, solomon was unsure about his approach in TTWF so when mc confronted him about it, both of them came up with a conclusion to perform a show that combines different dances around the human world. after one of their practices he asked them to be his date for the TTWF, and then on the day of the performance (i think) he picked them up in Hol and dropped by the place where he planted a cherry tree then he'll either give you a ring or a necklace.

the kiss option will lead you to this scene that shot me through the heart 💘💝💖💗💓💞 (the impact of those words??? it means a lot to me for some reason!!!)

honorable mention: A Fanged Feast. including this one because i worked hard to get this card. they weren't kidding when they said the devilgram was suggestive. it def makes up for the lack of kissy scenes. for the summary, mc and solomon were out shopping when they were dragged by mammon to become a part of his team for his vampire-themed cafe. so basically they were assigned to act like vampires and when it's time to practice he dragged them away from the others so they can have a one-on-one training session instead. oh boy i love the little tension build up and then revealing afterwards that the magic he 'casted' was all made up. i also like how you can get two options here, whether you act as the sucker or the suckee

also going to mention the reminder he gave to mc that most conversations with demons are transactions, and it's mostly bout give and take (totally forgot about that)

one thing common about this cards is his boldness, to admit what he wants to do with mc, to make his feelings well-known to them ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 i feel like i only talked about the romantic aspects of the cards but aside from those parts you can see a bit more of his personality (esp. the ones that he only shows when you're around) and lore (there's a bit more lore in the other cards but anyways)

#asks #thank you for asking!#and sorry if this took like.. a week to answer #ah i think 'boldness' was the word i was looking for in the 2nd card #oh shit it's already 4 am im gonna answer the remaining asks ..... later #not proofread #all this rambling makes me want to read one before i go to bed

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solsandrock · 9 months

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MTAS ff finally out!!

I finally posted THREE chapters of the fanfiction I'm writing for Sol. I wanted to tell her story so I decided to write it! Please check it out, my user is winterbody or you can also just click here! It's called Cherry Wine.

Tw: Contains affair/cheating and violence

Here's some art i quickly sketched today out of excitement! First image is based off the first chapter while the second image is waaay later on in the story

Sol in the beginning of the fic

Later on

soft logan~

(click on the images to see them in better quality;; idk why tumblr makes it look so blurry)

#i cant believe i finally posted it AH #so excited #i have so much written #just need to proofread and edit #my time at sandrock #mtas #mtas builder #mtas oc #mtas logan #mtas fanart

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roseadleyn · 1 year

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GWIEUEJEN3 JEANETTE WITH A BAKER!S/O,, IT'D BE SUCH A CUTE DYNAMIC

THEY'D BE THE CUTEST OMG OMG

solei i'm on my hands and knees begging ur forgiveness for ur ideas being late, i'm so so sorry 😭

gn reader because solei requested this!!

this takes place after jennette and anastacius start living together

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐮𝐝 | 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐚.

tw: jennette has some insecurities, and one my ocs makes an appearance in this but they're not named, but apart from that, none ! pure fluff <3

can you guess the oc? <3

there are three stages of life, you've been told.

of course, being a child is the first, when you could complain to your parents, and run around in the mud, and scrape your knees. the next stage is being an adolescent, where everything is spinning, new things are appearing, and confusion and exhilaration are the main themes of this stage. then.. being an adult. your entire life swept up in the chaos of taxes and bills and grocery shopping, and not being able to cry about it if something goes wrong.

well, you had decided to go down a different route. you gave up your education just a few years after starting it to follow your painfully childish dream of opening your own bakery. with a close friend's support and promise to help you at your shop, your great grandparents' (i say grandparents since both loved baking) book of ancient recipes, and your own determination, you do eventually succeed.

and things do go good! people are attracted to your shop because of your friend's sweet, kind nature and your delicious baking and the generosity with which you hand it out. it's not long before your little shop is bustling with business on a daily basis.

your eyes soften as you take it in. clean floors, decorated walls, fluffy carpets and pretty tablecloths. people laughing and talking, mothers feeding small bites of cake to their small kids, and friends giggling and sharing cupcakes. before you can bask in the pride of your shop, the door opens and a young girl walks in.

the first thing you notice about her is that she's absolutely gorgeous. straight light brown hair and jewel green eyes, a kind, open face, small, cute earrings hanging from her ears, dressed in a pale blue and white ensemble. she looks around shyly before stepping up to your counter with a deep breath.

'hello, good afternoon.' she says. her voice is soft. 'my name is jennette. i'd like to place an order, if you please.'

'of course!' your friend returns cheerfully. 'what would you like, miss?'

jennette visibly relaxes at the friendly tone and smiles a little as she replies, 'it's for my cousin's birthday. she likes sweet things so something like chocolate cake would be nice.'

you set to work, mixing some ingredients and looking through your cabinets for the other ones. flour, baking powder.. you lose yourself in this familiar process that you've done a million times, yet also listen to jennette as she discusses the details of the cake with your friend.

'so, do you have anything particular in mind about the size?' your friend asks, her crystalline sea green eyes narrowed in concentration.

jennette ponders this for a moment, and then looks up, 'uhm. please have it slightly on the larger side, but not too big.'

'sure thing.' she closes her notepad. 'we'll have it ready for you by tomorrow, is that alright?'

'perfectly so!' jennette beams at her. 'well, i've got to run. thank you!'

you can feel a smile grow on your face listening to her bright tone.

—

'hello, miss! good morning.' jennette greets. 'i'm here for athanasia's cake, if you please!'

your eyes widen as you turn around from checking on the frosting; wiping your hands on your apron, you ask, 'athanasia? crown princess athanasia?'

jennette seems to realize what she just said and looks bashful. 'uhm, yes.'

'she's your cousin?' another employee, who's filling in the place of your friend (your friend is sick, unfortunately) joins the conversation. 'no wonder you have the jeweled eyes. how'd you end up here?'

jennette flushes pink and stares at the ground. you get the feeling that she isn't comfortable discussing this matter.

'drop it, idiot.' you mutter to him, nudging him in the side, and he gives you a half-hearted glare and vanishes into the kitchen.

jennette gives you a shy, thankful smile and you feel your heart pitter patter in your chest. grinning at her, you say, 'your cake is ready to go, i just need to package it, okay? and one more small thing. which color box would you prefer, miss?'

she thinks for a moment, and then says, 'golden, a lighter shade of golden, like sunlight. oh, i'm being too specific and picky, aren't i? sorry —'

you laugh gently, 'no, you're fine. we have boxes like that. let me get it for you.'

you step into the kitchen to get the cake. it's a chocolate cake, three layered, each layer bursting with chocolate chips, and you've surrounded it with small, vanilla flavored rectangles that say 'happy birthday!' all around. you carefully place it into a square box, the color of sunshine, and wrap it with a silk white ribbon.

'here you go!' you cheerfully hand her the box. 'i hope it's to your liking.'

jennette lets out a soft sigh of delight. 'oh, it's wonderful! thank you so much! uhm, about the payment —'

'yes, about that...your father, or so the man said, paid yesterday.'

jennette brightens immediately. 'father did? i didn't expect that, he's been calling athanasia's birthday party a nuisance for weeks now —'

you look at her with questioning eyes. why would athanasia's uncle call her birthday party a nuisance?

again jennette seems to realize how much she's let slip, going bright pink before fiddling with ribbon. then, as though steeling herself, she asks, 'do you like the princess?'

you blink and then nod excitedly, 'yes! she's so inspiring, i really do. she's also so pretty!'

jennette's smile seems to falter. 'ah, i.. i don't blame you. she is amazing!' then, pretending to look outside, 'goodness, i'm late. thank you! see you soon.'

and before you can ask her what's happening, she's gone.

—

jennette walks up the hill to her house feeling as though there's a shard of ice in her chest. did this mean you liked athanasia? did you like athanasia more than her? athanasia was lovely, of course.. were you just acting friendly to her for sake of business or what?

you're overreacting, she sternly tells herself. get yourself together, today is athy's birthday.

as soon as she walks through the doors, she's tackled with a full body hug from athanasia. 'jetty! how are you? it's been so long.. oh, is this for me? you didn't have to!'

jennette sucks in a deep breath and hugs her cousin back. 'oh, a friend downtown made this.'

athanasia pulls back, surprised. 'really?'

jennette laughs. 'mhm, my friend owns a bakery.'

the party drags well into the night, and by the end of the day jennette is feeling cheerful and happy. she escapes from the crowded house to the balcony outside. reveling in the night air on her skin, she looks towards your bakery from her balcony in the sandstone villa on the hill.

were you thinking of her?

—

you cannot get jennette out of your head.

you toss and turn all night.

—

months pass and you have the fattest crush on jennette. your friend has gotten extremely tired of hearing your lovesick ranting about everything, from her eyes to the hat she wore yesterday.

'oh my god. will you shut up?'

'why?'

'just confess, idiot!'

'no!'

you mix the cake batter with renewed vigor, but you can't help but dwell on her words. what if you did confess? your friend shakes her head as though she thinks you're a lost cause.

jennette should come with a warning label, you think, idly. something like, BEWARE! you will fall in love with her doe eyes and stupid smile! you will suffer from heartache!

that day, after closing up, you're on your way to meet jennette in a little clearing some minutes away from your bakery. as you head outside, your friend calls out, 'it looks like it might rain, [name]!'

'i'll be okay! see you.'

you stroll up the hill, adoring the peace at this time of day. the clearing is always draped in green vines, sunlight filtering through them; you smile just thinking about the place.

and you spot her standing with some people up ahead. they're.. they're talking about you.

'no, seriously? you like them? romantically? you like them?'

the person's voice was filled with contempt and derision. 'you fell for that nutty, messy baker?'

it's a sensation of falling through the ground when you hear jennette laugh.

you turn and run as raindrops start pouring.

—

jennette gives a nervous laugh, even though she's extremely irritated by this person insulting you. 'don't say that.. they're really nice, they're so sweet, i really do like them —'

she gives a gasp as she sees your fleeing figure. giving a stony glare to the person, she sprints after you, being completely soaked to the skin in her rush to find you.

you're in the little clearing. how, why, are you so beautiful?

jennette sits down by your form. waits.

'jennette.' your voice is trembling. 'you've hurt me.'

'i know.'

silence.

'i'm sorry.' she pleads.

'are you?'

'i wasn't laughing at you! i was laughing slightly since i was nervous! why would i laugh at you?'

'you wouldn't be the first to.' you mutter, wrapping your arms around your knees.

jennette decides that desperate times call for desperate measures.

she throws herself into your arms, her lips meeting yours. and it's like the world melts away, her kiss is clumsy and sweet and innocent, and you hug her closer like she'll vanish once you let go.

'i love you.' jennette says, pulling back, bright red. 'i really do.'

you breathe in the rainy air and jennette's flowery comfort and sigh softly. 'i know. i love you too.'

—

tagging ; @rouecentric, @ykassu / @ylxntis, @elychee, @mysticmeena, @d10nsaint, @dxmoness, @that-one-pretty-bitch, @dion-s-lawyer, @giyuus0nlywife, @lady-navier0357, @nxccolo, and @cerisearan.

—

#꒰ ☽︎ ꒱ — stars.#I HATE THIS. DIE #ew my worst piece of writing yet #yes i criticize my own writing it's a thing i do #no seriously this is late AND cringy #ah well #who made me a princess #wmmap #wmmap x reader #wmmap jennette x reader #wmmap jennette #who made me a princess jennette #suddenly became a princess one day #i've got to sleep early since tomorrow's an important day so i haven't proofread this that well yet #sorry i did editing and proofreading really messily #goodnight <3

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smilesrobotlover · 6 months

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Goooosh it’s always the weirdest things that I do that I feel like are super cringey and stupid like. If someone else did it I would not care I’d probably love it but if I did it I’m insufferable and weird and cringey and GOSH DANG IT why can’t I just have fun with things bro 😭😭😭😭

#like remember that grimace shake?#I cant look at the images anymore #I feel so stupid for doing it and idk why 😭😭😭#same thing with that fic with villain squad and Linebeck #but y’all made me feel better about that so I don’t feel like it’s bad anymore #but man when I was writing and proofreading it I was dying on the inside #and now this #why can’t I just have fun man :(((#and like. I believe there is genuine cringe and wholesome cringe #wholesome cringe is just people enjoying their lives and having fun #and this is all wholesome cringe and I love it when other people do stuff like this #but why can’t I give myself the same luxury #ah #do y’all think I’m silly and stupid an cringe #smiles rambles

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un-local · 3 months

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What do you think stops Rogier from being emotionally vulnerable? Do you think it’s something tied to his pride?

Hi anon!

Oooo, this is a fun question >:3

Really, it could be any number of things. This game is incredibly vague, so it’s very much up to reader interpretation/preference. Here’s my own personal read:

It’s a defense mechanism of sorts. A way to deal with the fact that no one really seems to in his corner. Fia’s using him to get to the cursemark, and D’s had a nasty falling out with him. (If his dialogue about Rogier is anything to go by.) I don’t think anyone else in the Hold even mentions him.

Which is all to say: he’s on his own out there. He doesn’t have anyone to turn to, despite how much he may or may not need it. (And the way I write him; he needs it.)

Maybe this is a personal opinion, but the one thing that feels worse than opening up is doing so and getting something that completely misses the mark in response. God, that’ll kill ya. It’s a gut punch. As alienated as Rogier is implied to be, that kind of “misattunement” or whatever might feel even worse.

So, opening up invites the risk of an interaction turning sour.

Given both D and Fia’s vast schisms in worldviews/values with Rogier, it might feel like a gamble to be vulnerable with of them nowadays. So, by never opening up at all, there’s no guessing game. No dice roll, no Russian Roulette. Utter Detachment = Utter Invulnerability. You can’t lose the game if you never play, right?

To quote one of my chapter endnotes:

Rogier keeps a lot of emotion under the surface. He refuses to express it, and behaves with utter detachment in doing so. So, any interaction that could caused heightened emotion... it puts that aloof facade he clings to at risk. In a past post, I've summarized Rogier's mental state as this:

There's a fear, when you keep everything bottled up so tight. When you've never had that "safety" to be upset. That when you finally do crack, the whole dam will break, and everything will come out, and it'll be a goddamn mess. There's a fear you'll lose yourself in the flood. It'll be too much for you or anyone else to handle. Visions of avalanche. So on, so forth. [Ch 17 Endnotes Essay]

So yeah. I think it started out as a way to protect himself in his (presumed) life of nobility before. Something to keep interpersonal interactions predicable and tame; thus easy to navigate. But as time progressed, it’s something he’s become more and more dependent on. Without it, there’s a fear of losing himself in the deluge, so to speak.

I’d like to point to Alberich here. If we want to, we might see Alberich as a sort of corrupted, twisted version of Rogier. A malicious externalization of everything he’s ever let fester inside him. Or at least, what Rogier fears he’d become should he express the depths of his “anger, grief, regret, [and] fears.” A jungian shadow, to go with Crunchy’s style of analysis. (Not that I’ve finished that video yet…)

And if you want my batshit thoughts on Alberich as Rogier’s foil… more here. Cursed art included.

So, uh…. Yeah. I think it’s a defense mechanism, one that’s become the source of many of his problems. A vicious cycle. He can’t trust others because he’s alone; and he’s alone because he can’t trust others.

I know I kept you waiting a while on this answer, anon. Thank you for your patience! Ngl: Baldur’s gate came out on console recently, and… uh… huh? Who am I again? What day is it? I think I finally snapped myself out of it, though. (Lie)

Jokes aside, thank you for the ask anon! :D

#okay im not proofreading this anymore hopefully theres no grammatical errors fuck it we ball lmao #hare posts #hare answers #rogier #sorcerer rogier #???#should i put this in the tag?#idk #ah. why the hell not #ha! you thought you saw the last of me didn't cha! lmao adskfjasld #elden ring

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edenwolfie · 10 months

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some days i am in charge of the writing, and some days the characters just take the goddamn wheel.

#Me: ah proofreading time. all the scenes are done just tidying things up—#HC: interesting. what if i just fucked gege real quick in this scene huh. can't stop me. write the words. coward.

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nametakensff · 6 months

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#re-reading my fic i already posted and frantically fixing all the little typos is agony lol #this is what i get for trying not get stuck in an obsessive re-reading loop #i DO make mistakes 🥲#ah well #it should be fixed at the source now anyway 😭#i don't think i could proofread for a living because seeing a typo in print after hours and hours of work would kill me lmfao #let alone my gay snzfics for an extremely niche audience #nttalks

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mishkakagehishka · 2 years

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NO YOURE SO RIGHT okay exposing myself here but i love yanmika so much i think about him daily . imagine him drawing the most grotesque eroguro costume concept art of his darling and showing it to them as he describes in . TERRIFYING detail how he plans to recreate his drawing in real life ............

Head in hands i think about yanmika almost daily, too... it's such a guilty pleasure, bc he's one of those characters that don't seem, on the surface, as a yandere, but when you dig deeper... he is Unstable♡ And it's just so interesting! Under the cut for length.

I don't see yandere as a romantic trope, I write this as horror!! I don't try to romanticise this, I try to scare and shock the reader using this!

And this time, specific warnings: exploring Mika's sadistic side and descriptions of gore (though I kept it light since this is more of a stream-of-consciousness rant and not my usual writing), violence and blood! I couldn't bring myself to write the ero part of eroguro, but he's still a bit insane ab blood and gore, especially in the last few lines, so keep that in mind. This one got a bit heavier than usual, so let me know if there's anything that needs a specific tag/warning that I've missed

So, first things first, Mika, as a character, is so full of contrast and paradoxes. It's no wonder he's associated with creepy/cute and gurokawa imo because. On the surface, you would only see the cute/kawa aspect... but the more you read of his stories, and his lines, and he reveals bits and pieces of himself, from the fascination with the mysterious, to his love for creepy things, to. To the collection of "scary images" he keeps to. "Sleep better". And the lines where he gets all violently jealous or even where he takes human life a little too lightly (like the time he thought he'd killed Ritsu - one of his best friends - and his only concern was that Shu would be angry at him) and it's like. He's a little fucked up♡

And this is why I also think Mika could have a masochistic as well as sadistic side. As a yandere, he strikes me as the obsessive worshippy type - and that plays into his masochistic side. He wants his darling, who's like a deity to him, to give him attention and affection even though he believes he doesn't really deserve it. He'd even be fine with his darling yelling at or hitting him, he just wants to interact with them.

But, on the other hand... there's his jealous and violent side that would play into his sadistic side. It's not that Mika wants to kill or hurt his darling, they're still like a deity to him, but~~ He'd fantasise about knifing them sometimes. Not in a way that would kill them, his imagination is very unrealistic, he'd sigh while thinking about digging through their guts while they hug him and thank him and admit Mika is their favourite-! And then he'd probably feel guilty because it's his darling and there's still a large part of him that doesn't want them hurt. But maybe it'd be nice to help them with a papercut or nosebleed once, just so he can at least see what their blood looks like. He might even be lucky enough to walk away with the tissue used to stop the bleeding♡ but he'd feel less guilty of the violent fantasies if he feels Extremely Jealous. He thinks of covering himself in his darling's blood - and them in his own - as a way to cope with the jealousy. For some reason, he thinks it's intimate. So when his darling sees him storm off somewhere if he catches them praising another idol, it's because he's off steaming and probably even drawing out all his fantasies of chopping their tongue and hands off so they can never speak to anyone again.

And speaking of his art! He starts testing the boundaries after some time, showing his darling progressively worse and worse things. It starts off with someone having a nosebleed or an outfit with a golden ribcage - his Dark Romance outfit (a digression but omg... the fact that it's called Dark Romance. Mika, do you have something you want to share with the class) - and a few months later, his smile is so bright and innocent for someone showing off art of someone's intestines spilling out (doesn't he resemble that idol they said they liked the other day?) or a design for quite the provocative outfit featuring motifs of dried blood and organs. And then he starts telling his darling how much he wants to design an outfit for them! Aw, won't'cha let yer Mika make you yer very own fit?

But he doesn't give them much say, he assures them he knows - he's a full-fledged designer himself by now! - what would look good on them and what would fit them. But from the start, his intentions seem wrong. Firstly, the bottoms are entirely too short. As a compromise, he lengthens them to drop until their knees, and then comments that it's "cuter that way, anyway" so they can't even be sure he was actually compromising. Then the top is tight and low-cut - and he compromises by making the collar a turtleneck, but who even knows if that's any better. And the design is very... grim. The top has a rather realistic design of a chest opened - blood-dripping ribs behind which a heart is situated. You'd expect Mika to design them cartoonishly, but he's rather practised at it, so, thanks to the tightness of the top, it ends up looking rather 3D. The intestines are well-presented, too, and... everything seems to be dripping in blood. The bottoms, thankfully, are only in a matching black colour to the base of the top, and their normalcy kind of eases the darling into accepting it, even though the chains still give it a very edgy look.

He's nibbling on his thumb as he watches his darling try it on so he can make final adjustments. He gets fidgety. When the fitting is over, he asks them if they like it. It's probably grown on them by then, or they just feel bad because of how much time and effort he spent on it, but they say they do. And then he gets soooo happy, so overjoyed! He's so glad, he wasn't sure if they would like it, but he's so glad they did. He even asks for permission to hug them before leaning in, embracing them, and... starting his little ramble. About how he wishes he could actually open them up instead of just imagining what their guts look like. About how he wishes he didn't have to settle for keeping the tissues they used to stop nosebleeds and instead they could exchange blood yknow like a normal couple. About how he wishes he could one day be worthy of all his darling's expressions to be shown to him. Love, joy, pain, he just wants to see it all! And he wants to be the only one to see it, and he wants to show his own to his darling. Don't think him selfish or mean! He won't leave his darling wanting, he wants to bleed and be opened up as much as he wants them to bleed and for him to open them up. He just thinks it's so romantic, doesn't his darling agree? Don't they want to give it a try? He has the sewing scissors on hand already. Just a little cut, he'll let them make a matching one on his skin, wherever his darling chooses! Don't mind how deeply he's breathing and how much he's blushing the more he tries to convince them.

#ah yanmika my love my guilty pleasure. got a bit nauseous proofreading this so i guess that means i did well lmao #ensemble stars #mika kagehira #yandere enstars x reader #kagehira mika #yandere #gore text tw #violence tw #nsft-ish #<- idk kinda suggestive?#i hope i tagged this all fine i kinda let myself go crazy

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