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raibebe · 3 years

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Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin, @moonctzeny, @lenaluvs, @lucas-wongs, @burtonized and to @ncteaxhoe who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail [email protected] to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while. “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

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odietamo-gallavichzine · 2 years

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FANZINE UPDATE

Hey you guys! We’re so very sorry for the recent radio silence but the last month has been kinda tough for the Odi et Amo fanzine. Though we do have some good news too, so definitely stay tuned for that!

Unfortunately, we’ve been considerably delayed by our previous printing company—long story short, they’ve been ghosting us for almost three weeks now. They haven’t been answering our emails and calls, so we quickly found ourselves back to square one, blindsided—and royally pissed because before this inconvenience happened, we were right on time schedule-wise. We didn’t update anyone because we ourselves weren’t sure of what was happening, if this long delay was an acceptable timeframe for printing to happen. But as it turns out, we’ve been played.

Most of the other stuff is already done though! The stickers have been printed for a while now

and the shipping envelopes are here too

and all the giveaway winners have been picked and contacted already. So, we’re basically just missing the fanzines. That’s so frustrating!

But fear not: we are currently in contact with a more reliable, quicker printing company that’s assured us things will get done right, and fast. So though everything is delayed for a bit, it’s most definitely happening. We’ll be sure to keep you guys posted more regularly with this seemingly never ending journey from now on!

Thank you for your patience and understanding, and we once again wholeheartedly apologize for the lack of updates. But rest assured, we’re working tirelessly behind the scenes to make this beloved, six-months long project happen.

Odi Et Amo Mods

#gallavich fanzine #odi et amo fanzine #fanzine update #fanzine

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thesewordsareallihavetogive · 3 years

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no body, no crime - allison argent x reader

(gif source)

Summary: When y/n disappears after confronting her husband about his affair, Allison takes matters into her own hands. Based on “no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)” by taylor swift [x]. You can find the mood board for this fic here

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: cursing, infidelity, implied kidnapping, implied murder, murder, alleged murder, alleged/implied death of reader, reader is married to a man with a j name 🤢

a/n: hi everyone! it’s been a hot minute since i posted a new fic & this is why. i’ve been working on this since late december of 2020, so this is the longest i’ve ever spent on a stand-alone work. i’ll include more gory details about the writing process at the end if you’re interested :)

dedicated to: elle (@demxters) for all of her help and ideas! this fic literally wouldn’t have gotten finished without her, send her some love <3

this is also dedicated to caoimhe (@free-pool-trash) for not murdering me after i gave her a preview several weeks ago and then just ✨stopped writing✨

master list

Este's a friend of mine

We meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine

“Hey!” Allison greeted cheerily as she met y/n at their usual table tucked in the corner of their favorite restaurant. y/n returned the brunette’s smile as she stood up to hug her friend, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Allison saw through y/n’s facade and furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” she asked as concern spread across her features.

“I think Justin is having an affair,” y/n admitted. The statement dropped like a bomb between the two women, causing Allison to nearly spew the wine in her mouth all over the table. She coughed a few times and drank some water to clear her throat before she composed herself enough to ask questions.

“What happened? Did you see something?” Allison asked hesitantly. Her mind was still reeling from the mere concept of y/n’s husband cheating on her. Sure, Justin had never been Allison’s favorite guy, but it was normal for girls to think that no guy would ever be good enough for their best friend. Right?

Her husband's acting different and it smells like infidelity

She says, "That ain't my merlot on his mouth"

"That ain't my jewelry on our joint account"

y/n explained what had been going on over the past few weeks. Justin had been acting distant, which wasn’t too abnormal, but when he started coming home from work much later than his shifts ended and disappearing at odd hours of the night, y/n got concerned. The day that she had planned to approach him about everything and ask if anything was wrong, she got a call from her bank while driving home from work.

“Hi Mrs. y/l/n, this is Kathy from the bank. I’m calling to inform you that there have been a few large cash withdrawals from your joint account recently under your husband’s name, as well as a pretty expensive purchase yesterday at the jeweler,” the rest of Kathy’s words sounded muffled to y/n. It was nowhere near her birthday, Valentine’s day, or their anniversary, so y/n didn’t know what he could possibly be spending all their money on.

The next incident came a few days later when both y/n and Justin were home. y/n’s husband was in the shower and his phone buzzed with a new text message alert. Typically, y/n was never the type to snoop on her husband’s phone, but she figured she should check in case it was a work message. At least that’s how she justified it in her head. Justin had saved the sender’s number under the contact name “Spam Risk.” It was clever, y/n had to give him credit for that at least. Upon further inspection, y/n quickly realized that those texts weren’t sent from a telemarketer bot.

6:24 p.m. I can’t wait to see you tonight, baby - Spam Risk

6:25 p.m. Don’t keep me waiting too long ;) - Spam Risk

y/n thought the messages were strange, but the picture that followed the messages was definitely what threw y/n for a loop. There, on her husband’s text message thread, was a racy photo of a woman’s body that definitely wasn’t hers. y/n was quite literally stunned to silence as she dropped the phone back down onto the dresser. For the rest of the night, y/n was numb and quiet, not that Justin noticed. Then, like clockwork, he left the house at 11 p.m. with no explanation of where he was going or when he would be back.

By the end of y/n’s story, Allison’s mouth was open so wide she was sure her jaw would hit the table.

“What are you going to do?” Allison whispered, still in shock. y/n grimaced before clearing her throat and speaking her next words with finality.

No, there ain't no doubt

I think I'm gonna call him out

Este wasn't there

Tuesday night at Olive Garden at her job or anywhere

“Hi, there should be a reservation for two under Allison Argent or y/n y/l/n for tonight,” Allison greeted warmly as she approached the hostess stand at their go-to girl’s night restaurant.

“Right this way, ma’am,” the hostess said with a smile as she grabbed two menus and led her towards their usual table. Two menus. That must mean that y/n wasn’t there yet? Allison thought it was strange, y/n almost always was the first of the two to arrive. Allison brushed off the thought as she thanked the hostess and sat down. She had intended to look over the menu, but the strangeness of it all wouldn’t leave her mind. y/n was late. She was never late. Allison pulled out her phone to text her best friend, and it then occurred to her that she hadn’t heard from y/n since last week. Allison had been away on a “work” trip with her dad for the past six days and had just gotten back into town. After 30 minutes of sitting at the table alone, half a dozen unanswered text messages, and even more calls sent straight to voicemail, Allison dropped a few bills on the table and left.

As Allison pulled out of the parking lot, she turned on the radio in a futile attempt to drown out some of her racing thoughts. Between songs the radio host took to the mic to make an announcement.

“Hello Beacon Hills, we now interrupt your regularly scheduled listening with an urgent message from the Sheriff's department. Speaking now is Sheriff Noah Stilinski,” the host trailed off before there was a brief crackle as the audio transitioned to the Sheriff’s press briefing. Allison turned up the volume as the Sheriff’s voice carried across the radio.

“Thank you all for attending and tuning in. It is with great displeasure and a heavy heart that I inform you all that y/n y/l/n has been reported missing. Shortly after 8 a.m. this morning, we were informed by her husband that she didn’t show up for work yesterday morning and also didn’t come home last night,” Sheriff Stilinski continued speaking but it all began to sound like white noise to Allison. It took everything she had in her to focus on not veering off the road so that she could head to the Sheriff’s station and speak to Stilinski in person.

Conveniently, her route took her right past y/n and Justin’s house. Allison didn’t know what to expect as she sped by their house, but the fact that Justin’s normally filthy truck had been cleaned and waxed definitely caught her eye. The truck and driveway were soon out of sight due to the speed she was driving at, but at first glance, it looked as though his tires and grill had been replaced.

He reports his missing wife

And I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires

About a week had passed since y/n had been reported missing. Allison wasn’t sure how many search parties had been held, but they all resulted in the same thing: nothing. There wasn’t a single trace of her best friend, in fact, everything in Beacon Hills looked completely unchanged and normal. Allison’s focus and appetite seemed to have left with her other half, try as she might to desperately hold onto them. Her marksmanship had even been affected, something that hadn’t happened since high school.

Allison started driving around town during her free time. She wasn’t headed anywhere in particular, she mostly did it to try to clear her mind, though most times she was unsuccessful. She’d been mindlessly taking right and left turns and before she realized where she was, she passed y/n’s house.

Allison hadn’t planned to slow down as she passed the house, it was a mindless act if anything. Seeing a moving truck backed up to the house while Justin and some unfamiliar blonde woman were unloading boxes ensured that her decision to park her car where it couldn’t be seen and spy on the pair wasn’t mindless. Despite her gut telling her not to, Allison decided to give Justin the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he needed a roommate now since y/n couldn’t pay her share of the rent? Allison tried her best to keep all of her judgments and suspicions at bay as she watched the otherwise uneventful event unfold while biting her fingernails.

A few boxes later, Justin pulled the blonde in by her waist and kissed her with a fervor that would make most people blush. Allison’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she sat there in shock with her mouth wide open. It took a while, mostly because the kiss lasted for an obnoxious amount of time, but Allison finally regained control of her body. It was like her brain had to go through a hard reset before she was able to face the reality of the situation.

y/n was right. Justin was cheating on her. Not only that, but Justin had cheated on y/n, spent less than a week grieving her disappearance, then allowed this to happen.

And his mistress moved in

Sleeps in Este's bed and everything

Allison found out that Justin Smith’s mistress’s name was Rebecca Baker. She was a few years younger than y/n and she worked at the same company as Justin. It didn’t take long for Allison to hack into both of their iCloud accounts. A few hours of scrolling later she was really regretting her decision, especially when she got to Justin’s messages to Rebecca about y/n.

2:47 a.m. What about your wife? - Spam Risk

2:47 a.m. What about her? - Justin

2:48 a.m. Are you going to leave her or kick her out or something? - Spam Risk

2:48 a.m. It’s been taken care of. - Justin

2:48 a.m. Taken care of? Justin, what does that mean? - Spam Risk

2:49 a.m. Justin??? - Spam Risk

Each new message ensured that bits of Allison’s fingernails had been gnawed off while her left hand fidgeted anxiously in front of her mouth. Allison decided that those messages were probably the most incriminating thing she’d find digitally, but the time and date stamps caught her eye. The texts were sent early Monday morning, the day that y/n allegedly left home and then didn’t show up for work or return home.

A chill spread from deep within Allison’s bones up to the surface of her skin, making goosebumps appear. Allison didn’t know what exactly, but she knew something terrible had happened to y/n and Justin had something to do with it. She shut her laptop a little harder than necessary as a resolved look spread across her face.

No, there ain't no doubt

Somebody's gotta catch him out

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

Allison regularly accessed her personal armory, whether it was to prepare for a job or pack for a trip to the shooting range, but it had been a while since a powerful and unforgiving feeling hung over her shoulders. Allison carefully ran her fingers over her custom silver arrowheads as she considered her options. Her father’s words from one of her adolescent archery lessons rung in her head.

“The type of bow and arrows you use doesn’t matter. As long as you use them right, you’ll be able to make any shot. Don’t get hung up on the technicalities.”

Not too long after, her bag was stocked with her essentials: a bow, her trusted black leather archery glove, as well as a handful of arrows, though these ones lacked the silver heads she typically reserved for more exotic expeditions.

The rare dark clouds in the California sky at sunset were reflected in Allison’s cold eyes. The drive to her target’s house was familiar, the turns she made were almost instinctual. Normally these roads reminded her of her coffee dates with y/n and nights they spent talking for hours until sunlight crept through the windows. Now, her mind was blank and her heart was devoid of all emotion.

Even though Allison had disabled her car’s GPS earlier, she parked her car about a mile away from his house. When she was done, there wouldn’t be any evidence that could be traced back to her. She memorized his schedule; at 5:00 p.m. his shift ended and recently he’d been getting home by 5:20. His girlfriend got home sometime between 5:30 and 5:45, but she would leave for her pilates class around 6:30 and wouldn’t get home until 7:45. Allison had just over an hour window to get the job done, but it wouldn’t take that long. If everything went according to plan, she’d be off the property within a few minutes of taking the shot.

When she arrived her target had just come home from work and was alone in the house. She waited patiently, hidden by the trees that the property backed up to. She watched as he moved around through the open curtains and then as his girlfriend entered the house and kissed him with a passion that made Allison’s stomach churn. She watched as they ate dinner together, as her target’s girlfriend got ready for her gym class, and watched as she got in her car and drove away. When Allison checked her watch it was only 6:25 p.m., she had far more time than she needed.

The plan was simple, really. Under the cover of darkness, she’d flip the breakers, effectively cutting the power. When her target came out to investigate, she’d let him fumble around in the darkness for a while. He’d always been a paranoid individual, so it wouldn’t take much to get him on edge. A rustle in the bushes here, a small snapped tree branch there, and then something that would get his attention. Allison wanted his eyes to be on her when she took the shot.

Allison’s target was watching TV so he knew immediately when the power went out, plus the fact that the once illuminated house was suddenly bathed in darkness. The high-pitched yelp that escaped his throat almost made Allison laugh. She had to keep quiet though, at least for now. As expected, the dopey man scurried around to the side of the house where the breakers were located in no time. The batteries in the flashlight he held were on their last leg, that much was evident in the way the light beam flickered every few seconds.

Just as he opened the door to the circuit breaker panel, Allison moved. A rustle here. The sound practically echoed in the silence of the night, causing the man to whip around and shine his flashlight directly at the source of the noise. There was nothing there. It’s just the wind, he reasoned before getting back to work. After a few switches had been flipped - none of them for the outdoor lights - he heard another noise. This one was much louder than the last, a small snapped tree branch there. Again, the flashlight’s flickering light beam uncovered nothing, but it was enough to make all of the hairs on the back of Allison’s target’s neck stand up straight. He hastily flipped the rest of the breakers and the outdoor lights finally came on.

When yellow light from the backyard fixtures flooded the area, both Allison and her target were revealed. Allison stood a considerable distance away from the man, but she was close enough to see the blood drain from his face and his Adam's apple bob. When his eyes darted to the bow hung by her side, realization dawned on his face. He began to turn away with the intention of running, but Allison’s voice held him frozen in place.

“Don’t move,” she ordered quietly without any aggression behind her tone. Her face wasn’t threatening, she just looked calm and focused. Allison’s smooth features and peaceful expression was what scared the man the most.

“I- I’m sorry- I didn’t-” he stammered out, his arms and legs beginning to tremble.

“Shh,” Allison chastised as she raised her bow, loading it with an arrow. Her fingers moved with precision, her muscles knew this routine well.

“Please don’t- no, you can’t, you can’t do this!” the man pleaded. He wasn’t above begging on his knees, but Allison wasn’t about to give him the chance. Her gaze was sharply focused on her target, the view of her tightly grasped bow in her peripheral vision.

“Nous chassons ceux qui nous chassent.”

When Allison’s fingers let go of the bowstring the arrow flew smoothly through the air. The only sounds heard were the arrowhead piercing skin and the man wordlessly falling to the ground. The arrow went straight through his heart. Maybe Allison’s shot landed right where she intended. Maybe there was a metaphor in there. Allison checked her wristwatch, the numbers 6:45 shining back at her. An entire hour to spare.

Time to take out the trash.

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

The job didn’t take long at all and it was definitely one of Allison’s least challenging ones, but it still felt nice to take a hot shower and sit in front of her fireplace with a cup of tea. The fire served a dual purpose; the crackles of the burning wood soothed her like a lullaby while the flames licked around and destroyed her bloody clothes from earlier. All of her equipment had been cleaned and put away, positioned exactly as it had been before. Everything was the same, nothing changed or out of place. There was just one less heartbeat in the world that night.

Good thing Este's sister's gonna swear she was with me

On the second day of the trial, Rebecca Baker’s lawyers were throwing whatever they could against the wall to see if something would stick. That morning they began to argue that Allison Argent might’ve abducted and murdered Justin Smith in retaliation for y/n’s disappearance. It was all speculation at best, but the theory unfortunately made sense to the jury. Before things could get too far, the prosecution called its first witness of the day to the stand.

“Mrs. Martin, where were you on the night of Mr. Smith’s suspected disappearance?” the prosecution lawyer questioned calmly.

“I was with Allison at my house. We were having a girls night in, you can check my security cameras,” Lydia answered confidently. Lydia still had a pocketful of favors from her MIT days, so when the jurors were shown the clips from Lydia’s home security cameras, they saw exactly what they would’ve expected based on Lydia’s testimony.

Truth be told, Lydia didn’t know anything about what happened that night; including Allison’s whereabouts and any details related to Justin’s alleged demise. All she knew was that Allison called and asked for a simple favor - an alibi for just a few hours. Lydia didn’t ask questions and Allison didn’t give answers.

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

On the third day of the trial, Rebecca Baker took the stand. Her lawyers tried to help her as best they could, but the prosecution was ruthless. All of the evidence was circumstantial at best - all parties, including the judge and jurors, knew that - but it was enough to make everyone reconsider the spotless image the defense had tried to create for Ms. Baker.

“Ms. Baker, is it true that you knowingly engaged in a romantic relationship while Justin Smith was married to and living with his wife?” another one of the prosecution’s attorneys began.

“Yes,” Rebecca replied meekly. Allison internally scoffed from her seat in the gallery. She found irony in the fact that Rebecca didn’t find any humility or shame in sleeping with another woman’s husband until she was under oath.

“Is it also true that within approximately a week of Mrs. y/l/n’s disappearance, you moved into Mr. Smith and Mrs. y/l/n’s house?”

“That is correct,” Rebecca said as she began to wring her hands together anxiously. The judge tapped his wrist watch and shot a stern look towards the prosecutor. The man nodded in response and continued to his final points.

“I’ll wrap up my questions for you, Ms. Baker. Can you confirm that shortly after moving in with Mr. Smith, multiple legal and financial arrangements and adjustments were made? And these new arrangements make you the sole beneficiary of Mr. Smith’s life issuance policy, assets, and investments?”

By the end of the prosecution’s final question, every jury member and spectator sat up straighter and waited to hear Rebecca’s response with bated breath. The blonde ball of nerves sighed defeatedly before turning to face the attorney directly as she answered his question.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“No further questions, your honor.” As the lead prosecutor returned to the plaintiff’s table, Rebecca’s attorney stood up to address the judge.

“Your honor, the defense would like to request a brief recess,” the defense attorney nearly pleaded. Though his poker face was much better than his client’s, it was clear that he was getting nervous.

“We’ll reconvene in 15 minutes,” the judge ordered with a stern glare cast towards Rebecca.

They think she did it but they just can't prove it

It soon became clear to Rebecca that the recess her legal team requested was nothing more than a “kiss your dignity goodbye” meeting. If she hadn’t been queasy before the recess was called, she definitely was upon re-entering the courtroom.

The rest of the trial seemed to move in slow motion for Rebecca. A few more witnesses were called to the stand, more lackluster evidence was presented, both sides made their closing arguments, and the jury left to discuss the verdict. After what felt like an eternity, the jury returned with an official decision.

Silence settled over the room as a single juror stood to address the court.

“The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 1 of murder in the first degree based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 2 of kidnapping based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant guilty on count 3 of insurance fraud based on…”

The rest of the jurors’ statement sounded like white noise to Rebecca. She was just barely coherent enough to hear the judge deliver her punishment a few minutes later. $50,000 fine and 200 hours of community service.

Allison stuck around to the bitter end of the trial to hear the verdict in person. In all honesty, Allison didn’t want Rebecca to go to jail. It wouldn’t be right for her to serve time for a crime she didn’t commit, but Allison did find satisfaction in the fact that Rebecca would soon be picking up garbage in a fluorescent orange vest.

After the majority of the spectators had vacated the courtroom gallery, Allison leisurely gathered her things. Justice had been served to Justin, she personally made sure of that, and now justice had been served to Rebecca. The blonde and brunette women briefly locked eye contact as Allison made her way towards the exit.

“You did this,” Rebecca whispered to Allison. Suddenly, it was like a flip switched within her. One moment she was numb, yet calm and collected, and the next moment she was screaming (literal) bloody murder and had to be held back by her lawyers.

“YOU DID THIS! YOU KILLED JUSTIN, YOU BITCH!” Rebecca cried, though her words fell on deaf ears. Allison exited the courtroom with her head held high as the courtroom deputy and defense lawyers did their best to calm the hysterical woman.

She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it

A week later the court case was still on Allison’s mind but the emotional scars had begun to scab. Healing was never a straight or smooth path, Allison had learned that the hard way over the years, but this was a start.

y/n’s landlord had been generous enough to allow Allison to gather y/n’s things before he cleaned out the house for new renters. As Allison walked through the home she once considered to be an extension of her own, she felt her throat dry out and tighten up. She hadn’t realized she was crying until she was wiping salty tears off of the picture frames she’d carefully picked up. Each photo unlocked a new memory, some even elicited a chuckle out of Allison amidst her tears.

A photo from y/n’s wedding day stood out among all the rest as Allison’s eyes jumped from frame to frame. It was a candid shot Lydia had taken while they were in y/n’s dressing room before the ceremony. y/n looked as beautiful as ever in her flowy white gown and Allison’s mulberry maid of honor dress complemented it well. As Allison put the final touches on y/n’s hair and makeup, y/n fastened the clasp of a custom necklace behind Allison’s neck. On a thin, medium-length chain hung an arrowhead from the first time Allison had ever tried to teach y/n how to shoot a bow and arrow. y/n failed miserably, but it was a cherished memory for both girls. Since that day, Allison had only taken the necklace off a handful of times.

Allison smiled bittersweetly at the memory and wiped a fresh tear off of the decorative frame before pulling her necklace out from underneath her shirt. She pressed a gentle kiss to the cool silver arrowhead and then to the photo frame, right above y/n’s styled hair.

A feeling that Allison couldn’t quite explain flowed through her body just then; it was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after being stuck underwater or seeing the gentle rays of the sun for the first time after a hurricane, it felt like freedom. Allison felt almost as if y/n was right there next to her, with her head resting on Allison's shoulder and wrapping her arms around the brunette’s torso. In that moment, Allison somehow wordlessly knew with every fiber in her being that y/n was finally at peace.

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he died

a/n: AHHHH DID YOU LIKE IT? it was kind of a wild ride from start to finish and i definitely shed a few tears while i was writing it. please lmk what you think!

okay, now onto the writing process from hell: i started drafting ideas for the fic on dec. 21 or 22 of 2020, after i put together a mood board. i had written more than half of the fic when i decided i hated it and scrapped the whole thing on xmas eve (~3000 words 🤡). after that i was kinda in a rut and couldn’t decide how i wanted to end the fic so i ended up writing and deleting ~2500 words over the past month and a half. @demxters is an absolute GODDESS and helped me come up with the ending, so i am eternally grateful to her for that. if any of this seems a lil strange it’s probably because i finished writing it at 4:45 a.m. after working on it for 3ish hours straight. have a great day lovelies!

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darlingbandit · 3 years

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It’s really, really hard for me to believe that 9/11 happened twenty years ago. As trite as it sounds, it really feels like it was just yesterday—or maybe a few months after. But strangely enough I can’t remember what life was like before 9/11. It’s difficult to think back to that time without the filter of what American life became post-9/11. I can tell you that you were allowed to go with your family/friends straight to your airplane’s gate and watch them get aboard and fly off before 9/11. That’s about it.

But I remember the day itself pretty distinctly. I was a freshman in college, and had left my English Lit class and was getting situated in my sociology class when a girl came in and surprisingly casually said, “Did you guys hear that two passenger planes got hijacked?”

No, none of us had heard. I was surprised, but not alarmed. Planes getting hijacked was nothing new. Usually the hijackers landed somewhere (if they took off at all), made their demands, and ultimately passengers would be let off and their captors arrested or killed.

“Yeah,” she said,” they crashed them in the World Trade Center.”

And that’s when everything shut off. Why she buried the lede, I’ll never know. But as soon as she’d said it, I just felt this cold, sharp fear rub through me. One of my uncles was a cop in Brooklyn while my other uncle was an paramedic who worked in the Financial District. There was just that pain of worrying if they were there, and if they were hurt, or if they were killed.

The rest of the class was spent in eerie silence as our professor went ahead with her lecture. I remember asking at what point if we could listen to a radio or bring in a TV, but she said no. As soon as the class was over, I went across the street to my friend’s dormitory. All I was thinking about what getting to a TV. Along the way I remember seeing a girl sobbing while her friend comforted her. People looking dazed. I pounded on the door to my friend’s dorm suite. She had been asleep, but eventually woke up and opened the door for me. She asked, “What’s up?” and I remember very angrily saying “You don’t know?!” and pushing past her to turn on her TV. There was the image that’s so common now, of the Twin Towers on fire, smoke billowing up.

As her other suite mates came in I called my mom, and frantically asked her if my uncle, her brother, was okay. She said she hadn’t heard from him but he must be okay, his station is in Bed Stuy. My other uncle is her cousin (I just call him my uncle.) No word from him either. Of course they’d be busy. She would let me know if she heard anything.

The next hour or so was just spent glued to the TV, everyone silent save for the random muttered astonishment. “Holy shit, this is World War Three,” is the one I remember. At some point other, non-news or basic cable channels stopped airing their regularly scheduled programming and switched over to news coverage, or they would show black screens or a close door with something like “Our hearts are with the victims of today’s tragedy.”

At some point I left my friend’s dorm room and walked about twenty minutes to the Irish restaurant and bar where my sister worked. By this time it was drizzling, just a bit, and I believe this is when church bells all over the city began ringing nonstop. We lived in a city known for its many churches, so it was just a maelstrom of bells. My sister was working but let me sit at the bar and have a soda and watch the news coverage. All of the TVs in the restaurant, usually turned to ESPN, were now showing coverage of the attack. They were beginning to phase out of minute-by-minute live coverage and into panelists desperately trying to put things I to perspective. I believe Al Qaeda had taken responsibility for the attacks by this time, or we had gotten enough information to know that a Middle East-based terrorist group was responsible. My sister had given me one of those paper activity sheets that restaurants give to kids along with a box of crayons to keep them occupied, the ones that had puzzles on them. Mazes and word searches. This one was celebrating autumn or the upcoming Halloween. There was a game where you had to make as many three-letter words as possible out of a phrase—in this case, “Happy Halloween” or “Celebrate Autumn” or something. I remember furiously writing down words in the margins, and then between the games in the center of the page, and then on the other side of the page after I’d run out of room, all while the bartender told a waiter that their parents had just visited the World Trade Center a few months before, and the people who worked there had been so nice and helpful, and now they were probably dead. I found 154 words in that phrase, “Happy Halloween” or “Celebrate Autumn.” Then I walked home.

The days afterward were strange and felt alien as I trudged through them. I remember that all the stores in my city’s main street were decorated in American flags. The local stores would have simple American flags in the windows while the the chain stores had been put together more particularly and professionally. Black or gray American flag decals on the windows alongside some simple, vague phrase, “Never forget” or “We are one.” One building had an American flag that flew from the rooftop all the way down to the top of its door. There was a furniture store on that street that was known for its loud, zany radio ads. “Dixie‘ll do it cuz DIXIE DOOOOON’T CAAAARE.” For a while after 9/11 its radio became somber, begging the listener to believe that “Folks, Dixie does care,” and that their employees’ collective heart was with the people of New York and that they were proud to be serving the community for decades, etc. I documented as much as I could in my journal. I vowed that our country would get everyone who was responsible. I wrote my declaration to join the CIA and fight them. (A promise I never made good on, obviously.) All the whole, no airplanes flew above us, which left an eerie, distinguishable emptiness to the city’s soundscape.

My uncle the cop was in fact in Bed Stuy on 9/11. He and his precinct waited on the Brooklyn Bridge for the okay for them to enter the city, but they were ultimately told to stay put. Something that frustrated my uncle for long afterward. He then was put to work at Fishkill, where he sifted through piles of debris searching for remains of victims. Whenever he came home his car would be covered in dust and, we later learned, asbestos and other particles that led to cancer in thousands of emergency workers and survivors of the attacking on the World Trade Center. He accrued enough overtime doing this that he was able to retire only half a year afterwards. Twenty-one years before his older sister. The ensuing years were spent writing affidavits for the widows and families of the other cops in his unit who had gotten cancer from breathing in that dusty gray noxious air, the guys whose families needed affidavits from coworkers who could testify that they had worked alongside them at Fishkill for months breathing in and out those little fatal particles that attacked their bodies and had made them victims of 9/11 years after the fact, so that the loved ones could get survivors benefits. My uncle and the others would write the letters, and the pool of letter writers gradually got smaller and smaller. My aunt would ask “Who’s going to write a letter for my husband, when all the other letter writers are dead?”

My other uncle was among some of the first responders to the World Trade Center. He was treating a friend who had been injured when he himself was struck by debris. In a way being struck saved his life, because he was hauled away before he would get any closer to or enter the Towers, and potentially be inside when they came crashing down. But on the other side of that day he became a crippled man. He needed a multitude of surgeries to fix his broken body. He fought to obtain benefits and the funds needs for these operations. He was diagnosed with—and ultimately survived—cancer. But he was restless afterward, and never the same. He took up sharpshooting. He won some awards for it. He’s lost friends and was kicked out of online groups for rants on conspiracy theories and far-right conservative ideology. His wife has left him. He’s had a series of strokes which have left his once broad smile crooked in a shy way.

His two kids have both become paramedics, like their mom and dad. My friend’s father was a firefighter who survived that day and died of cancer a little over a decade later. I went to his wake, where a long line of firefighters snaked around the funeral home to view the casket. My friend left his job and became a firefighter after his father’s death. The courses of so many lives were changed that day. Not just those who died and those who made it out alive, but their family members, and the family members who weren’t even born yet. The children of my uncle and my friend will probably become firefighters and paramedics themselves. Because their parents’ families were tragically altered that day, and following in their fathers’ footsteps was a way to grasp for them, to understand indirectly what they went through, who they were before everything changed, the type of people who ran toward the danger.

For a long time afterward I would lie awake at night and imagine that all the church bells would suddenly start ringing again, and drivers would honk their car horns nonstop, in the middle of the night, because we finally captured Osama Bin Laden. After we invaded Afghanistan, I believed that it would have to happen relatively quickly. I’m not even sure why I was so hung up on it. I knew that capturing him would not erase that day. It wouldn’t bring anyone back. It wouldn’t even end his terrorist organization. But I felt that it would ease something heavy from the collective soul of the nation. Just to know that the thousands of innocent people who’d been killed would be avenged in some fuzzy, indistinct, archaic way.

It would be years and years and another President entirely until I would find myself scrolling through Facebook and seeing a post from my aunt, something short and to the point like “Bin Laden is dead. We finally got him.” It was the day before my birthday and I had been living in New York for a few years now. I don’t consider myself a violent person, and I am very, very much against the death penalty, but I felt glad that he was dead. I still do. It goes against my basic, heartfelt instinct in the same way I’m glad that Hitler is dead. Sometimes you have to make exceptions.

But, of course, Bin Laden’s death didn’t erase that day. It didn’t make every bad thing we did in the name of revenge go away. Simply, 9/11 was the day that everything fell apart, and since then it’s only got worse. We did not learn to make peace and follow Jesus and mend the ills of the world with love post-9/11. Our military bombed a country to near oblivion when our target was in an entirely different country, and our leaders used 9/11 as bait to lead the country into an entirely different war. Kids I went to school with have died on account of these wars, have come home and been left so broken that they kill themselves. Or they just remain broken, and wake up suddenly in the middle of the night diving into a corner of their room because of an imagined IED, or writing bitter and upsetting posts on Facebook, leaving cryptic vague messages that lead to choruses of “Are you okay?” and “Hey, does anyone have his address? I’m calling the police.” and “We love you so much. Please don’t do anything you’ll regret.” My nine-year-old nephew is in his “I want to grow up and join the army and fight bad guys” stage of childhood. It slices me like a knife, that same pain I felt when I first heard that two planes had crashed into the World Trade Center. I try to tell him that war really isn’t like you see on TV and the movies, it destroys lives, countless lives, and no one involved is ever the same again, all the while remembering myself at that age, an Army brat, saying the same things he did, still feeling a vague sense of shame that, for all my journaled bravado, 9/11 didn’t spur me to join the army or the CIA and fight the bad guys, just the bombing of Pearl Harbor spurred so many Americans to enlist.

That’s what they were all hoping for, after 9/11. That throbbing sense of WWII-esque patriotism at the core of the US to remain indefinitely, at least for long enough to hurl able-bodied Americans, generations of Americans, into the furnace of two separate wars in the Middle East. For the nation to rally around the flag and buy war bonds and ration food and turn a blind eye to those Japanese-American neighbors of yours who disappeared suddenly and to the two Japanese cities we vaporized. To the secret surveillance and the FBI-orchestrated traps on innocent Muslim-Americans. To the two wars that were conducted as ineptly and shadily as the War in Vietnam, and produced the same result. Witnessing the course of the United States these last twenty years has been like watching a ship gradually list to its side as it takes on water and ultimately sinks to the bottom of the ocean. All aboard lost. Our standing on the world stage, the entire ethos of our country. The ultranationalism that was born on 9/11 has glided effortlessly through these past two decades, unhindered by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, fueled by racist rhetoric, begetting far-right political sects and a rabid love of the military and mandatory bent knees towards the idol of the heavily-armed police. Mushrooming into the Trump presidency and MAGA hats and tiki torch-lit mobs of White Supremacists and the January insurrection. Into those puzzling parallels that equate vaccinations and gun control with attacks on our rights as Americans. And here we are now.

The 9/11 attacks were successful. They killed thousands of people and struck into the soul of the most powerful nation in the world a cancerous fear—a fear of everything, of death, of loved ones’ deaths, the fear of being in a tall building or of getting an emergency news alert on their phones, of getting a text from the one person in the world whom they love the most saying that they’re trapped somewhere, on a plane or burning building and there’s no way out, or that there’s a guy with a gun and they’re hiding in the bathroom of this club they’re in, or a car barreled into the crowd they were in.

The fear of others, of the people who did this to them and of the people who look vaguely similar to the people who did this to them, who just aren’t like them, who don’t follow in step with the nationalism borne from 9/11. A fear that metastasizes into an anger toward these people, a belief that to destroy these people is to save the country and stop another 9/11 from happening ever again.

And a fear of those people who fear such things. A fear that you’ll get a text saying that the person you love most in this world is hiding from a mob of red-hatted Americans wielding the flag and beating to death anyone who stands in their way, or that a car barreled into the protest they were marching in.

A handful of men with box cutters.

I really thought that after twenty years I would feel some sense of, if not peace, then at least some perspective and emotional distance from 9/11. I am friends with people who weren’t even alive back then, who have no memory of it or a pre-9/11 world. The world has continued on. I wanted to believe that on this twenty-year anniversary I would see that I had continued on as well, had gotten a safe distance away from the smoke and fire and could now view it in a detached way. But I still feel that slice cut through me, maybe not as sharp as then, but still there. That feeling that it happened, if not yesterday, then a few months ago, at least. That little twitch in my chest when I was afraid that my uncles were dead, when I heard the estimated amount of victims, when I first saw photos of people falling from the top floors of the Towers, the recordings of voice mails from people on the planes and in the buildings. When I heard my uncle had cancer. When my friend’s father died after a years-long battle with cancer. Every time I get on a flight, a lurching feeling. When my family and I were sitting in a diner and Bush announced we were going to invade Iraq. When I watched reports of bombings in the UK and massacres in Paris. When I heard a kid say that his mom pleaded with him to say he’s Greek, not Pakistani. Whenever I see a billowing American flag on the back of someone’s truck.

You can’t make peace with what happened on 9/11 if 9/11 never ended. 9/11 never ended. We’re still rocking back and forth from it, hanging onto the walls, running down step after step of a staircase that’s 90 stories high, mid-flight after desperately hurling ourselves out of a window miles above the earth, running away from the dense gray mushroom cloud of smoke rushing to envelope us. This is what we are now.

So it’s hard for me to talk about 9/11. A lot of feelings. If you read my post this long without scrolling away then congratulations, I’ll buy you a beer.

#9/11 #long post #I apologize for spewing this word vomit on you

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chaoticallysapphic · 4 years

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Oh my heart part three

-Summary: Lin never expected to have a soulmate, in a world where your mark appears whenever your soulmate is born she grew up completely blank. So when she’s thirty and it finally etches itself around her arm, she vows to never be with the one meant only for her.

A/N: soooo I’ve never written a kiss before, please give me constructive criticism on it so I can better my writing. This is the last part and I’m really happy with the ending, please let me know which part of this whole series was your favorite!

Word count: 6k

When Lin wakes up, all she feels is the mind splitting pain from her blow, flashes of what happen play in her mind, the last thing she remembers is hearing you scream her name. You, Lin, forces her eyes open which is a task an of itself, and tries to sit up, her muscles spasm and give out, causing her to fall back down onto where she is laying, wherever she is its moving; Tenzin comes into her eyesight, he leans over her as he checks her pupils and her pulse. “Thank spirits you're all right, I was worried for a minu-”

“You just left my sister?!” Lin hears Korra scream from somewhere nearby. No, no she can’t have heard her correctly, Lin tries to sit up once more but Tenzin tries to push her back down.

“Get off of me” she growls out, sitting up so she can finally see the group in front of her. It’s Korra with her fists clenched and her face all pinched and red, she looks like she may very well kill everyone on board, yes, Lin realizes now that they are on the police force blimp. “We couldn’t find her and tanks were shooting at us, we didn’t ha-”

“Where’s y/n?” Lin asks, all heads turn to Lin and Korra points at Bolin and Mako, spitting out “ask them, they just left her behind! Amon probably has her now!” Korra storms off, hitting the wall with her firebending on the way out.

Mako rubs the back of his neck, he does look sorry and Bolin looks like he’s on the verge of tears. Asami is the one who speaks up “When we got down there they were loading your officers into some trucks, they must have already put y/n on there because she wasn’t with you three.” Lin’s heart stops, your gone and the last words she may have ever said to you was “don’t be a nuisance,” fuck. Lin’s head falls into her hands as she tries to keep her breathing even, she pushed you away like everyone else, and like everyone else you left even if it was against your will. All those silly daydreams that she had scolded herself for having, all those desires, she never even got to say how your laugh makes every little worry on her mind vanish.

Tenzin places a hand on her shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze “we’ll find your officers Lin.” Oh right, fuck, not only did she let y/n down but also her officers. How is she going to tell all their families? How will she face the citizens of republic city after failing to protect them like she swore she would? Tenzin tries to push Lin back into laying down and this time she relents, her mind is swirling with the possibilities of what's happening to you right now but none of them are good, even if you do come out alive your bending will be taken away.

“From the looks of it she put up a fight, there was water everywhere…” Asami murmurs out somewhere behind her, Lin squeezes her eyes shut, maybe if she tries hard enough you’ll magically appear, maybe if she promises the spirits she’ll be nicer to everyone, especially you, they’ll give you back to her.

Back, Lin never had you in the first place, she shut you out and squashed any chance there may have been, at the time it seemed smart but now she lays here wishing she had kissed you at least once. On the tram she almost did, when you stepped closer to her Lin's thoughts were engulfed in you, her senses were filled with you, the scent of your perfume, your voice, and even your touch. She’d wanted to pull you into a never-ending kiss right there in front of everyone, wanted to throw all caution to the wind and finally let herself be yours.

Instead, she’d snapped at you with some vicious reply that she doesn’t even remember all too well, just that she called you a nuisance and the devastating look on your face at her response. She had to turn away from you, she couldn’t look into your eyes or else she knew she’d have caved. She would have held your face in her hands and given a million sincere apologies in hopes of erasing that look from your face.

Lin uses the last of her strength to turn her back on the bickering group of teens and falls back to sleep, except this time all she dreams about is finding you dead in some ditch.

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Lin spent her time on bed rest with you and her officers on her mind. She was deeply ashamed of her failure, she even had nightmares about if she did find you. In them you were either dead or close to it, in one you even declined her help to get medical attention and told her you’d rather die than live your life with her as a soulmate. That one had truly shattered her. There's a radio beside her bed, for the most part, it played nonsensical talk shows with mind-numbing segments, the only reason she had it on was that sometimes a police report was given.

“We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you this special report. Late last night equalists attacked city hall subduing councilman Tarlock and capturing avatar Korra details are still coming in but-” Lin turns it off and forces herself out of bed, pain erupts in her right arm and she has to stop for a second to hold it and let the pain subdue, it doesn’t completely disappear but it’s enough to get her out of bed.

She lets out a pained groan and heads over to the closet that has her clothes inside, her uniform stares at her mockingly, reminding her that she’s no longer chief of police but right now isn’t time for a pity party, so she gets out of her pajamas and into her usual white tank top and pants then metal bends the armor on. Lin looks down at her breastplate and stares at her pin that marks as such and rips it off, tossing it onto her nightstand. She has to find Korra, you’d want her to find Korra.

Lin leaves the hospital with a coat over her armor to not so subtly hide what she's wearing underneath and storms off to retrieve Asami from her cell. She metal bends the door off and soon the two are off, Asami is walking next to her, trying to keep up with the pace “we’re gonna find them, I know we will” Asami says, Lin sighs and squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. She hope’s so.

She busts Bolin and Mako out next, reluctantly but she knows her best bet at finding everyone in time is with them by her side. Her next destination is Tenzin's office, once inside she finds him sitting at his desk on the telephone, he eyes them, a surprised look appearing on his face which causes Lin to roll her eyes. Did he expect her to pout until someone else fixed this mess?

“I… have to go,” he says to whoever is on the other end of the line. “Call me back the minute you hear anything-” he immediately ends the call, going to stand from his seat with his hands up in the air. “- Lin what... What are… what are you” he sputters out before his shoulders sag and he gives her an exasperated look. “You should be in the hospital! And you three-” he begins, pointing his fingers at the younger three of the group, “- should be in prison!”

“I figured you could use our help finding Korra” she replies, she wants to say find you, but she knows her best bet at finding you is through your sister, and if Lin found you first, you’d be enraged to find your little sister missing. They all theorize on how to start the search, Asami, Bolin, and Mako run off after Mako says he might know where to go. Lin looks up at Tenzin, letting out a deep sigh “wherever Amon is keeping Korra, I bet that's where y/n and my officers are too.”

Tenzin looks into Lin’s eyes and says with the utmost confidence “let's bring them all home Lin.” Everyone eventually boards Oogi and Mako directs Tenzin where to go. Besides his directions it's utterly quiet on the back of the sky bison, everyone is tense and buzzing with the hope that his hunch is correct. Eventually, they land in a city square and upon climbing down Mako immediately runs over to one of the streets “the truck that took Bolin went this way” he states, pointing at the winding road.

They walk down the street for at least two blocks before coming to an intersection, everyone slowly comes to a halt as Asami breaks the silence “which way?” Bolin strokes his chin as he steps closer to the street in front of them and replies “this way seems familiar.”

Lin, not wanting to go out on a hunch, especially one made by him, bends one of her shoes off and slams her foot down, she closes her eyes as she tries to see what's beneath the surface. A tunnel! It's to the left instead of straight and Lin bends her shoe back on, pointing left “there's a tunnel nearby!”

They break off into a sprint once more and come upon an unused storm drain that has a massive tunnel covered by a metal grate. Motorcycle tracks are leading into the tunnel, confirming their growing suspicions. “Korra has to be in there… somewhere,” Mako says as Lin bends the gate upwards with a bang.

They walk for at least fifteen minutes before they come to a grinding halt, in front of them are five separate tunnels splitting off into different directions. Mako is bending some fire in his hand to help illuminate their path. He doesn’t stop though, he points to a tunnel and tells them he thinks it's this way. With no other option, they all follow after him and continue their descent into the unknown. Soon they hear the revving of motorcycles behind them, Lin orders them all to hide and they all press themselves into a hidden nook. A secret door opens up for the cyclists and they speed inside without a single idea of what they’ve just done.

That pesky feeling of hope blooms in Lin’s chest once more, she runs over to the secret door that has since been shut and feels around before bending it open. It slams open and without a second to lose they race down this secret tunnel with abandon. There's a large room before them with equalists working inside, there are multiple vehicles inside and a tram system leading down three tunnels straight ahead.

One of the trams arrives and an equalist with a feminine voice walks up to the one holding a clipboard and says “everything was delivered to the prison, sir.” Both are fools, far too comfortable with the area because they walk away leaving the contraption unattended. “That’s where they must be keeping Korra” Tenzin whispers. And y/n, Lin thinks, she squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, forcing herself to focus and says “we need to get down that tunnel.”

She waves at them, signaling them to follow her as she sneaks towards the tram. Once onboard, Asami drives it for them, going as fast as she can while Tenzin and Lin stand upfront, on guard for anything that may be lurking in the shadows. Once they see a light ahead seeping into the otherwise dark tunnel Lin orders them off and everyone presses their backs against the wall as the tram continues speeding down to the landing.

“It’s empty,” one idiotic officer says, and another reply in a snarky tone “yeah, I can see that.” Before either can investigate further, Lin shoots out her metal wires and yanks them into the darkness with them. She knocks them out, perhaps a bit too harshly but she’s beyond caring and ties them up so they can’t run off to warn anyone else. Using her aseismic senses, she’s able to locate her men… but not y/n.

“What about Korra?” Mako questions, his tone borderline irritable. Lin keeps a calm composure and replies “I don’t see her yet.” Mako and Tenzin follow Lin as she leads the way through the prison, all of the cells they pass are empty, strange. When they turn a corner two guards are waiting, as they ready themselves for a fight, Tenzin uses his bending to knock them out against the walls. Too easy.

When Lin finally finds their cell, all of them are sitting on their bunks with their heads down. Lin bends the bars apart but none of them seem to care as they stare up at her. “Chief Beifong?” officer Song asks, his voice is weak and Lin immediately knows that she’s failed her men.

“I’m too late, aren’t I? That monster already took your bending, didn’t he?” Song nods, his face solemn and Lin clenches her fists, having to look away from him or else she might just crack. “I’m so sorry... Come on, let's get you out of here” Lin turns her back on them and hears them follow after her, that means yours is gone too, wherever you are.

When Lin rounds the corner, she finds Mako holding one of the guards against the wall, one of his fists alight with fire. “I scanned the entire prison, Korra and y/n aren’t here.”

“Why would Tarlock make up a story about getting attacked?” Mako drops the guy and the guard falls to the floor, there's liquid on the floor beneath him that wasn’t there before, that wimp pissed himself. “Because he has Korra” she replies, Lin pushes past Mako and squats down to be eye level with the shaking guard, she wraps her hand around his neck but doesn’t put any pressure on him, it’s a threat and his eyes widen in fear as he realizes it. “W-We don’t have the avatar! I… I swea-”

“Where is y/n, she most likely came in on the same truck as my officers” Lin demands. The color drains from his face at her question, he begins stuttering out some kind of incoherent reply about how he doesn’t know but she can tell he’s lying through his teeth. Lin applies pressure and asks again. “Where. Is. She?”

“Sh-she killed her guards, they took her to a special place!” the guard has spit falling out of the side of his mouth, tears racing down his cheeks, she loosens her hold just a bit. Did you kill someone? It must have been before they took your bending away. “Where?!”

“It’s done below, you have to take an eleva-”

“Show me” she growls out, she yanks him up to his feet and pushes him away from the wall, he stumbles a bit but Tenzin catches his forearm, she can tell he’s not too pleased with her but she doesn’t care. Mako leads Lin's men back to the tram while Tenzin stays with her, keeping his hold on the blubbering guard. He leads them back down where the officers were held but keeps moving forward. There’s a locked door made of solid platinum, the guard pulls a switch out of his pocket and flicks it, causing the door to harshly slide open with a bang. He keeps leading them, his shoulders shaking.

They go down a twisting staircase and stop at an elevator stationed at the halfway point. He opens the metal sliding doors up and the three climb inside. There are a million buttons on the panel in front of them, if Lin came alone she’d have no clue where to start, but thankfully this wimp knows exactly what button to press.

“Oh man, Amons gonna kill me” he sobs out, snot drips into his mouth as he throws his head into his hands. Tenzin gives Lin a look of discomfort, neither are good at comforting people, both can’t be around someone whos crying without becoming incredibly uncomfortable. Tenzin lets out a sigh when he realizes Lin won’t give in.

“We’ll take you with us, so he can’t,” he says softly, the guards head flies up to look at Tenzin, the air bender takes a step back as snot and spit going flying, Lin scrunches her nose up in disgust. “Really?” he whispers, Tenzin nods and before he can even stop it, the guard flings his arms around him and squeezes him tight. Lin feels a chuckle bubbling up her throat at the sight of Tenzin's horrified gaze, he mouths ‘help me’ but Lin just turns her head to look at the door. The elevator dings and the doors creak open to reveal a dark hallway ahead of them. The guard pulls away from Tenzin and pats his shoulder, offering him a smile full of gratitude.

He leads them down the hall before they stop at another door, also made of platinum. Once again he pulls out his controller full of switches and flicks one, making the door slam open. Its pitch black inside, Lin takes a hesitant step inside. The sound of something scraping against the floor echoed through the room and Lin steps out of the way just seconds before you appear, holding up a metal chair, you swing it where she once was.

“Y/n,” Lin says, she sees your arms shaking as you drop the chair, you fall to your knees from exerting to much energy, “Lin?” your voice is hoarse, and when you lift your head to glance up at her, something inside of her cracks. Your hair is matted with dry blood, the side of your face is caked in it and there are bags under your eyes, your skin is so pale and despite only being locked up for a week you look so weak, your cheeks are hollowed out.

Lin finally knocks herself out of her thoughts when she hears you whimper and she scrambles down onto her knees to cup your face, she inspects you for any open wounds, or signs of illness, you bring one of your hands up to loosely grip her wrist and Lin gasps at the sight of your bloodied fingers.

“She… uh she was scratching a lot when we first put her in here,” he says hesitantly. Lin’s head swings over to him, suddenly the promise Tenzin made seems impossible, she wants to kill him and anyone else involved in your suffering.

“Why?” Lin spits out before he can answer her you reply softly “it was so dark.” Lin pulls you into her arms, burrowing her head into the crook of your neck, you fall into her arms, letting go of any tension within you as you become pliant to her will.

Someone clears their throat and Lin lifts her head to see Tenzin staring at her in confusion. “We should hurry,” he says, Lin nods and goes to stand but you grip onto her shoulders, she looks down and sees you try to stand, but your legs shake and you almost fall back down. She catches you and picks you up bridal style, you rest your head on her shoulder and close your eyes when you come out into the light. You hiss due to the pain and burrow your face into the fabric of her coat.

Something warm lights up her heart at the action but she smothers it, now's not the time. On the way back to the others Tenzin continues to stare at Lin oddly as the guard continues to lead them out.

You're sure this is a dream, you screamed for anyone down below, begged the spirits for a savior, and sobbed for mercy. But you gave up hope after a few days inside, it seemed you’d been left to rot, every few days someone would stop by with a small bowl of what can only be described as kitchen scraps and a sip of water. They were prolonging what felt like the inevitable, you felt so close to death, with your bending gone you had become weakened and you didn’t have any water to help strengthen you.

Halfway back to the others an ear-splitting siren went off as the lights in the prison repeatedly flashed red. Everyone broke into a sprint and ran down the stairs that reunited them with the others.

“Let's go, people!” Bolin calls out as everyone boards the tram, once inside Asami speeds off, behind them a set of headlights flashes as another tram picks up speed, Lin sees Bolin bend the tunnel into collapsing right on top of the second tram and if not for the situation she might have given him a pat on the back. Lin gives you to Tenzin who carefully holds you close as she shouts out “We got more company, hang on!” she shouts as she bends a metal vent to act as a ramp for them. Due to the speed of the tram, it keeps its momentum, she then bends away from the earth in front of them to allow them to enter another tunnel above.

The tram screeches as it's off its tracks and now on the stone before abruptly coming to a halt, everyone groans, the impact has caused them to either fly from their seats or in poor Asami’s case, bang her head into the metal wall in front of her. Tenzin had used his air bending to keep both of you seated, adding enough pressure that when everyone went flying, you both just experienced a jolt.

Lin opens up a hole above, letting the sun shed light on the otherwise dim tunnel. Tenzin gets everyone out with his air bending, including the officer that Lin is most definitely arresting and sentencing to life if she can have anything to do with it. Once up above, Lin goes to take you from his arms but Tenzin pulls back and stares her down.

“What was that about down there?” he questions. In another world Tenzin would have been the one fretting over you, he’d taken you both in and sworn to your parents that he’d protect you. Whilst Korra was a bit rough and hard to handle, you’d play with his children, you kept Jinora company when she felt left out, and helped feed the sky bison whenever you could.

You’d already talked to Pema about how you’d help with the delivery of their next child you’d briefly trained at a healing school in the southern tribe before you decided to follow Korra here and had helped many women deliver healthy babies into the world. You were like a daughter to him, so Lin's unusual display of affection almost unnerved him.

Before Lin can come up with some kind of retort, you turn your head, your eyes squinted as you try to adjust to the light. “Lin?” you say, you reach out for her and without thinking of Tenzin she steps closer and grabs your hand. “I need to take her to the hospital Tenzin and you need to deal with Tarlock.”

Tenzin scowls before carefully handing you to Lin, almost immediately you clutch her coat and snuggle in as close as you can. His brows knit together as the pieces of the puzzle finally snap into place. “But…” he begins, Lin stops him before he can bombard her with questions. “I need to get her to a doctor as soon as possible.” She knows later down the line she’ll have to have a long talk with him, explaining herself and… this thing between the two of you. She rushes off in the direction of the hospital, it’s four blocks away which isn’t too far but she’s filled with fear that somehow you’ll die in her arms if she doesn’t hurry. Once inside the waiting room, Lin calls out for help and two nurses rush forward with a wheelchair once they see you in her arms.

They whisk you away, or try to, one of the nurses tries to convince Lin to stay behind but she won’t be separated from you, not until she knows you're completely safe. “She’s my soulmate and I’ll arrest anyone who tries to keep me away from her right now.” That shuts her up. Lin’s never pulled that kind of card before, and honestly, she wouldn’t arrest someone unless they’d done something illegal but you're getting farther away and her heart is beating faster. The nurse blanches and Lin takes that as her queue to run after you.

The same doctor who looked after Lin, which he repeatedly tries to convince her to go back to her room and rest, to which she declines, looks you over for any injuries. The back of your head is healing, very slowly though and it doesn’t look like it’s been properly cleaned so he has one of the nurses do that as he checks the rest of your body.

“Does it hurt anywhere besides your head and your hands?” he asks, to which you can’t offer a proper reply. Everywhere hurts, you're sore and weak and you feel like if you close your eyes you may never open them again. The doctor sighs, “we need some bone broth and -” he starts listing off medicines to the nurses who scurry off and he orders two others to clean your fingers which elicits a pained groan out of you.

Lin kneels and stays there the whole time, once the nurse arrives with a warm bowl of broth Lin takes it from her and helps you sip it. She nudges her arm underneath your neck to prop your head up and gently brings the bowl up to your lips before tilting it slowly to allow only a little at a time. You happily drink it but can only get about halfway before you claim your too full to continue.

She frowns but relents, not wanting to push you. Eventually, the nurses move you to a proper bed, one like Lin’s, after they clean you up and tuck you underneath the blankets. You’ve long since fallen asleep and the sun is beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow throughout the room. You already look a bit better, one of the nurses gave Lin a warm, wet cloth when asked so she could gently wipe your face clean of all the dried up blood. It’s been roughly two hours since Lin entered the hospital and she already wants out, but not without you. This is a public place and therefore means it's easier to attack, if she lets her guard down Amon may very well try to steal you away once more.

Tenzin and the others, sans Korra, enters the hospital room as Lin finishes wiping up the dirt above your brow and when she hears them, she immediately sets the cloth onto the table, embarrassment floods through her at being caught and she knows she shouldn’t care but she does.

“Tarlock is a blood bender,” Bolin says, raising his hands in the air “and he has Korra!” Mako jabs Bolin in the stomach as everyone shushes him, you stir, letting out a groan before stilling once more, thankfully he didn’t wake you, or Lin definitely would have knocked some sense into him.

“We should all go to air temple island, we’ll be safer together-” Lin goes to speak up, she won’t leave you behind “- y/n will too. I spoke with a nurse outside who says she doesn’t have any serious injuries, just malnourished and therefore very weak. Food and rest will help.” He clears his throat and looks Lin in the eyes “I’d like to speak outside for a moment.”

She stands up, knowing that she needs to get this talk over with. Asami takes Lin's seat beside you as she walks out of the room and down the hall just enough so that they are out of earshot. “She’s my soulmate” Lin starts, her hand once more grazes the burnt mark that now fills her with so much regret. Tenzin looks away before letting out a deep sigh.

“How?” he questions. She lied to him for so long, he’s seen her body bare and knows that she doesn’t have a mark, anymore. His eyes follow her hand and a look of shock takes over his features “It wasn’t a work-related accident, was it?” His jaw clenches as he stares her down. She burnt it right before they went out for the first time, he’d claimed he would find the man responsible for her scar but she’d always shrugged it off. It makes sense.

“No… I was ashamed” she grits her teeth as she remembers sobbing over the burn, telling herself to get over it and that it was for the better. That she’d be happy with Tenzin and wouldn’t need some infantile immature young adult in her life. But you aren’t immature, you're so strong and courageous, she’s seen how you care for those around you and honestly, she doesn’t get how your friends with Bolin and Mako since they are both downright annoying whilst you are anything but.

“And now?” he questions, she knows he probably has a million little judgments he wants to spew out, most likely scold her for something that she can’t control and she’s grateful for him reigning it and trying to remain calm. She doesn’t think she can handle anything else that requires even an ounce of effort after how today has gone.

“I tried to push her away, I told her it wouldn’t work but…” Lin tries to find her next words but there's a lump forming in her throat and she will not cry, not in public, and definitely not in front of Tenzin.

“But she was captured” he finishes for her and she sharply nods, staring at some water stain on the wall up above his right shoulder. “I want you to be happy Lin, even if this does seem strange to me, if you both make each other happy then I’ll get over my preconceived judgments and support you both.”

Lin simply nods, tears are threatening to fall from her eyes so she mutters a “thank you” and heads to the bathroom to compose herself. Tenzin understands, he heads back to your hospital room as Lin barges into the thankfully empty bathroom and begins to cry. You're fine, you're safe and relatively healthy and you will be fine. All she can hope is that once you’ve recovered you’ll forgive her, Lin never apologizes or admits she's wrong but for you, she’ll do so in an instant. She’ll get on her knees for you, beg you even. She’ll be humiliated but it will have been worth it if you give her another shot, one that she’ll make sure she doesn’t screw up.

Tenzin’s approval means so much to her, he probably doesn’t realize it either. She might never be close to him again after what happened but she still sees him as her family, if he’d have shamed her Lin wouldn’t have been able to go on, which she’ll never let him know.

Lin wipes the tears out of her eyes and waits until the redness and puffiness die down before leaving the bathroom and heading back into your room. You're sitting up and are listening to Tenzin with a tired smile on your face as he talks to you about who knows what. Your hair is still caked in dried up blood with bags under your eyes but still, you take Lins breath away.

Tenzin ushers everyone out of the room to give the two of you privacy, Bolin puts up a bit of a fight but relents when Lin fixes him with a glare that has him racing on out of the room before anyone else. Tenzin places his hand on Lin’s shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze before shutting the door behind him on the way out.

“Lin” you begin and in an instant, she’s rushing over to your side, she stops herself just as she’s about to take your hand, worried about your reaction. You slowly reach your hand up and interlock your fingers, there’s this look on your face like you're waiting for Lin to pull away in disgust. Instead, Lin gives your hand a gentle squeeze and slowly sits on the stool beside her bed like before.

“I’m sorry,” she says earnestly before you can say whatever was on the tip of your tongue. Your eyes widen but you don’t respond, you're waiting for her to continue, to elaborate so you don’t end up getting hurt again.

“I..” Lin gulps, “I thought I’d be a burden to you, I’m old, practically married to my job, I definitely won’t be winning any awards for my personality-” you crack a smile at that, it warms her heart “-and I don’t want kids. I thought maybe you’d want someone like Bolin or Mako because they could give you those kinds of things I can’t, I like to be in bed by nine and I’ve never even set foot in a dance club before. I’m… I’m not young like you.”

“Are you done?” you ask, Lin furrows her brows but otherwise nods, your other hand, the one not holding Lin's hand comes up to rest on her scarred cheek. “Did you ever think that maybe I want everything you can give me? No matter how much or how little it may be. I don’t want kids, sure they're nice but they are messy and time-consuming, it’s a job for life with no weekends.” Lin laughs at that, spirits, she doesn’t know if she believes you, it seems too good to be true.

“I can’t take someone else leaving me” she states, a pained look settling on her features. Your eyes soften and you pull Lin closer to you, she’s leaning against the bed now, your noses almost touching. You rub your thumb soothingly across her cheek, you're trying to find the right words to say. You can’t mess this up.

“I can’t promise I’ll never get mad at you or I'll never irritate you. We’ll probably have a string of fights throughout our years together but… I’ll never leave you, Lin, you’re all I want out of this life.” Lin’s eyes widen as unshed tears brim at the corners of her eyes. She’s never been told something so heartfelt, so romantic before.

She leans up further until your lips are inches apart and waits for a breath, waits to see if you’ll pull away, and claim that this is all a joke. But instead, you close the gap and let go of her hand just so you can cup both sides of her face. Your lips are so soft and delicate as you pull her closer until your chest to chest like back on the tram. Lin deepens the kiss, her hands resting on your waist, she’s too scared of gripping you in fear of hurting you in your fragile state. You lick the bottom of her lip and she opens her mouth all too eagerly, her knee is now resting on the edge of the bed so she can wrap her arms around you, pulling you flush against her.

Too soon you pull away from her, panting against her mouth and when Lin opens her eyes she has to fight the urge to pull you back into another passionate kiss. Your pupils are blown, cheeks flushed a deep red with swollen lips. She tries to capture it within her mind for safekeeping

“I think I love you” you whisper, your voice is hoarse and you thread your fingers through her hair, lightly gripping it. Lin has to keep herself from moaning at said action. That cynical side of her brain shouts within her skull that you're lying but Lin ignores it, she pecks you on the lips which you eagerly try to deepen but she pulls away just a few inches so she can talk.

“I think I love you too,” Lin whispers, too scared of breaking this moment that almost feels sacred. A smile spreads across your lips as you pull her into a kiss once more. Lin happily kisses you, her heart blooms with a million budding roses, all for you as she finally lets go of all her fears, all her insecurities, and enjoys the feel of you against her. Finally, she thinks

#lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong/reader #lin/reader #lin beifong fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #lok #legend of korra #korra #tenzin #bolin #mako #asami sato #sato #mega gay

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ragesick · 3 years

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hm. ngl, with everything that’s going on in my country, in my personal life, and having finally come to terms with what my lot is in this e-space, i haven’t felt very inspired or talkative. i’m not even sure if i want to be here still, but if i do post things then i guess i just want to let it be known that i’m not purposely ignoring anyone. i’m not the type of person that can fake it, lol, so i’d prefer to just simmer in silence for now. also.. i think i want to go by my name-name: denise. i was dev--devin if you’re fancy--for a long time, but i’ve always been denise in more personal spaces so.. yeah. back to our regularly scheduled radio silence now.

#anyway. patria y vida para todo mi gente.#incluso aquellos que desean a sus hermanos propio la muerte y la represion.

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peachebunnys · 4 years

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The Pinkest Passion

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x reader

a/n: I apologize for the long hiatus, this one shot is like 70% plot 30% smut and most of it is spent dissing Poison <3

warnings: sex pollen smut ; light choking, degradation, slight cum eating, male masturbation, dirty talk [18+ ONLY] mentions of violence, brief mention of death

8.2k

“Those fuckers won’t know what’ll hit them, and if the—”

The static of the radio cracks, and the rest of the conversation dulls in comparison to the ringing that emits from the old device. The car engine drones on, getting hotter by the minute as the men continue to observe the large compound from a street away. The windows were wound down, and the scorching heat that came with Colombia’s summers felt like a blowtorch that slowly dragged over every exposed inch of your body.

To say you felt like you were on fire was an understatement, and as the beads of sweat trickled down your damp temple, you had half a mind to remove all your clothes right there and then. The bulletproof vest you had on was stuck to you like a second skin, with the material constricting your breathing slightly. For a while, you thought, maybe I could take it off just for a while. You regulated your breaths in hopes to exert as little energy as possible, fiddling with your fingers nervously as the vehicle continued humming on.

Fuck, if only you could ease off the protective gear to cool down - but he wouldn’t allow it now, would he?

Such a prude, he’s probably never seen a naked body in his life by the looks of it -- and the only thing he’s fucking on the daily is Escobar and our sleep schedule. You huffed, leaning back against the warm leather seat in discomfort, shaking away thoughts of the colonel as you continued mindlessly fiddling with your fingers.

The skies were now dark, with a blanket shade of prussian blue that was perfect for a raid mission like this one. There were barely any stars above, and the lack of twinkling had only added to your growing uneasiness of how this mission would turn out.

You tried to lean back, digging your knees into the leather seat in front of you. The warm surface against your pants was uncomfortable, which made you move yet again, in hopes to find a better arrangement. The man who occupied that space in front of you grunted in annoyance, shifting rather exaggeratedly to make a display of the emotion you had just invoked in him. You merely scoffed at the sight, irritated at his childish behaviour and how he had unapologetically pushed you back into your seat.

What’s gotten into him today?

Your eyebrows raised in confusion at his sudden odd behaviour. You’ve never seen him this uptight on a mission before, and with the way he was acting right now had you wondering if there was a buried sense of fear that he wasn’t showing to the world.

Was he … scared? What could make him so unsettled, especially when he was right in his element?

That thought alone had only made your heart dip, pounding in your stomach as you tried to focus on something else, anything that would keep you from thinking about the possible doom that awaited you. This mission was certainly no easy one, and with an unknown substance that stood between you and Escobar, you certainly were losing hope of being able to win this battle.

You weren’t usually one to have your feathers easily ruffled by the colonel but you’d now blame it on this awful predicament the four of you were stuck in. Every small movement and sound had made you feel like the other occupants in the car were barely tolerable, driving you up the wall with each gesture they made. On top of the heat that was no doubt growing by the second, the wait for the man himself was causing dread as the night went on.

“He should be here by now,” The man who sat in front of you spoke up, breaking the silence that was starting to feel almost suffocating. His voice was laced with a tinge of anger, along with restlessness that brewed from the long nights spent on carefully planning this raid. Horacio had let out a soft sigh as he eyed the way Javier merely shrugged at him with uncertainty, leaning back in disappointment at the lack of response. This raid was supposed to be it, the night they finally caught Escobar right in his tracks. But as the minutes went on, it seemed like that glimpse of hope was slowly dying out - like a flickering candle dancing with the wind.

Horacio ran his fingers over the smooth surface of the steering wheel, turning his head to watch the row of cars parked behind him through the side view mirrors. The headlights of the vehicles were all off, blending well into the night as the tall grass that surrounded the large compound served as the perfect cover. You leaned your head against the door frame, staring out to the night sky as you tried your best not to look back at Horacio, who was unsubtly watching you from the reflection.

Ever since the night of Gacha’s passing - in which you had drunkenly kissed the colonel, things had started to become more heated between the both of you. Fleeting touches, lips that barely hovered over yours, and faint smiles that implied more arrogance than cheek, were instances that had no doubt left you squirming and wanting more.

The man was a tease, and with each passing day, you felt the need for him grow as he continued taunting you ever so subtly.

The memory of that night floods your thoughts, and the vivid image of his half lidded eyes and soft moan as you pulled away from the passionate kiss, was one you were sure would burn into your mind for a long time. His lips tasted faintly of bourbon, a drink he would regularly nurse whenever he was stressed or frustrated. It was downright intoxicating, and just once, did you wish he would leave his straight laced demeanor just to indulge in that need you know was manifesting in him too.

“Maybe he’s running a bit late, after all, he did have a special shipment from Mexico today.” Javier drummed his fingers against the dashboard, fingering the buttons of the radio as a way to pass time during this wait. Steve, who was silent for the most part, leaned forward to rest his hand on Javier’s arm, patting his partner reassuringly as he spoke up, “Yeah, that could be it. His men did mention something about it being a special type of drug, harder stuff I reckon. Do you think he’s leaving cocaine for this new drug that he’s bringing in?”

“No, I don’t think so. It was a one batch order that was quite a hassle for them to even transport over, I doubt Escobar would place his chances on something this troublesome.” Javier leaned back into his seat, stretching his arms out to rid the weariness that was starting to take over him. The distinct sound of the lighter rang in your ear, and you caught a glimpse of the man lighting up his cigarette before he spoke up yet again.

“I heard this stuff is toxic, but no one really knows in what form though.” Javier takes a drag and puffs out a cloud of smoke, thinking pensively as he lazily taps out the ashes of the bud. “Intel said that even Escobar doesn’t know how strong this thing is, but whatever it is, we best stay clear of it.”

“Intel huh? Javi, this better not be one of your one night stands that gives us unverifiable sources.” Steve fishes out a manila coloured file, flipping through the pages quickly in search of something you couldn’t quite care less about. You continued watching the field of tall grass, tuning out the men in your car to listen to the soothing sound of crickets in hopes of easing the weight on your shoulders.

The drug lord’s newest hideout was beautiful, and as you stared at it from the dirt road about a mile away, you noticed the peculiar decorations that spanned across the yard that only enhanced the charm of that treacherous place.

“Huh,” Steve’s hushed voice breaks you from your thoughts, earning a disinterested glance from you as he shoved the thin file into your palms, “It says here the drug is pink, like really fucking pink - it’s not something we’ve seen before.”

Pink? What the hell was inside this thing?

You flipped through the folder yourself, reading through the little information that was annotated at the side of the page. The words were barely legible that was made worse with the poor lighting from streetlights that were few and far in between.

Fuck, this couldn’t be good now can it?

“-- Causes uneasiness in the system,

Patients experience varying levels of hyper-sensitivity and awareness,

Heart rates spike at an alarming rate,

Patients are seen to experience hyperhidrosis --”

“Hyperhidrosis?”

“Some medical term for excessive sweating, should’ve put that one in the footnote.”

“This doesn’t sound good Javi, we don’t even know what we’re up against. These guys have the upper hand, and if we go in blind like tha-”

“We may not ever get this chance again,” Horacio’s voice is rough, and it booms throughout the tiny vehicle. “This is the only fucking shot we’ve got, and it’s on us to make it work. Look, we may not be well equipped to go against this- this thing that they’ve got. But one thing’s for sure, it’s not going to kill us. Why else would Escobar personally transport it back himself if it was so deadly?”

The long awaited vehicles were finally in view, lighting up the road that was parallel to where you were parked. A trail of a dozen cars drove straight into the mansion, lighting up the area as they entered the compound. One by one, the cars packed with armed men drove into the area easily, unloading the boot that was filled to the brim with the strange drug.

“Looks like they’re finally here,” Javier loaded his pistol and slotted it into his holster, adjusting the rest of his equipment before turning to look at Horacio, “It’s best if we move out soon, and quietly.”

Horacio lowered the binoculars that he held firmly in his hands, giving a slight nod to Javier before signalling for his men to be on their guard. You could feel your heart hammer in your chest, and as Horacio slammed the jeep door shut, you felt the impact snap you out of your trance.

Sure, you may have done raid missions more times than you could count, but there was just something different about this one that had you feeling more unease than adrenaline. This fucking drug, there was just something about it that didn’t sit right with you - the very thought of the most notorious drug dealer in the world getting his hands on it, had almost made you puke.

“Are you alright back there?”

You glanced up to see Horacio’s eyes glued on you, studying you with sharp eyes as you did your best to regulate your breathing again. Under the moonlight, he looked much softer than he usually did, and you felt your heart flip when he leaned his arms against the window frame. You simply nodded, holding your right palm firmly against your chest as you answered his question, “Just peachy colonel, the vest is just too tight, that’s all.”

You caught a glimpse of concern that flashed across his eyes, before it quickly went back to the cold, unfeeling expression that he usually had. “That’s the point isn’t it, agent? So that it’ll keep you safe?” He opens the door for you, allowing you to step out before locking all the doors. “Come on, you’re with me for this one.”

His men were all gathered around your jeep, awaiting orders from Horacio as the four of you ran through the plan once more. It was now or never, you thought, we will finally bring down the whole cartel.

The plan was simple - to put it loosely. Three easy steps. Search Bloc would surround the parameters of the mansion, awaiting orders from Horacio to move in. The tall, uncut grass would serve as the best guise under the pale moonlight, concealing all of you in plain sight - perfect for the surprise ambush. Escobar and his men would be none wiser when the Search Bloc finally moved in, arresting everyone they could get, as well as bringing back the bags of drugs to use as evidence.

This will work… Won't it?

The sound of the crickets chirp on as Horacio instructs his men very carefully on what was to happen. They all nod in agreement before splitting up in teams, readying themselves for the green light that would no doubt come soon. Horacio and you walked towards the edge of the plantation, feeling the cracking of dirt under the soles now replaced with mud that sank with each step you took. Horacio had looked at you for a brief moment, smiling as earnestly as he could, he silently assured you that everything would be alright.

“I’ll be right by your side in this fight, we can do this.”

Your palm claps against his large bicep, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. A smile grew on your face, feeling a blush creep up your neck.

“Of course we can, Colonel.”

Horacio simply nods at you and surveys the area once more with his binoculars. As soon as the coast was clear, he turned his back towards you to signal to his men his approval.

“Let’s move out!”

The ground was soft, a result of the rain that barely poured down a few hours prior. The mud squelched with each step you took towards the fences, soaking the soles of your boots completely. You hugged your pistol tightly against your vest as you crouched next to Horacio, studying the men who were unloading the foreign substance into trolleys that were being pushed into the home.

The air was humid, and your skin burned hotter than it did back in the car. You glanced over at Horacio, watching him look through his binoculars, looking out for any blindspots that may ruin the chances of the mission being successful. He was on his knees next to you, and you could feel the warmth radiate off his body yet again. You’ve always known him to be somewhat like a human heater, emitting heat from his palms with each time he touched you.

His jaw was clenched, eyes focused on the sight before him, and you caught yourself marveling at how handsome he looked like this. You turned your head back to the men in the compound, studying the way they interacted with each other as they carried the bags of drugs out in their hands. With each step they took, there was a stumble that no doubt came soon after.

Drunk.

These men were very visibly drunk.

There was no sign of Escobar himself, and you wondered if he even came back to this hideout with the rest of his men. Javier and Steve were a good five feet away from the two of you, blocked from sight by the muted olive green plants that were over four feet tall. You could hear Javier’s voice, low and hushed, whispering a set of instructions to his partner who was right next to him. Horacio’s device came alive, with crackled, muffled voices from his men, that indicated to him that Escobar was nowhere in sight.

You could hear the falter in his voice as he called out to all units, telling them to continue on as planned when he gave the signal. “We can still bring in some of his men, all will not be lost on this mission.” His breath was hot, feeling it ghost over your shoulder as he craned his neck to get a better view amidst the dense plantation. You felt a blush creep up your cheeks, and you busied yourself in checking your equipment, ready for the signal that would no doubt come sooner than you would think.

Horacio’s eyes darted around the various men chortling and singing loudly, and for a brief moment, he held up his device to give yet another instruction.

Pause.

The last man walked through the foyer, barely juggling six bags of drugs as he smiled at his friends from within the compound. Horacio had caught sight of Poison, who was at the furthest end of the entrance holding two bags himself with glee.

It was now or never.

“Now!”

Horacio rushed in and easily jumped over the fence, clutching his rifle in his large hands before shooting at the man who had made the unfortunate mistake of walking out.

Thump.

And just like that, a man was dead.

Two shots, and the body fell back with the impact, alerting the rest of Escobar’s men inside the mansion. There was a brief moment where time stood still, everyone staring at the lifeless body with morbid curiosity and confusion.

The plants had soon started rustling, indicating the approach of more Search Bloc men that were finally stepping out of the shadows. The rest of the Search Bloc closed in behind Horacio, causing panic amongst the tipsy men who struggled to pull out their weapons on time. Everything happened too quickly, with Escobar’s men scrambling in all directions as they tried to shoot at you.

Horacio was right by your side, shielding you from men who popped out from your blindspots. The two of you worked together like a well-oiled machine, covering each other’s backs from any potential threats that lurk from the dark corners of the mansion. The lights were barely on throughout the safe house, and despite the harsh moonlight that seeped in through the glass windows, the visibility was still rather poor. Search Bloc men were scattered all over the place, chasing after the men that were fleeing from the site. Horacio and you, however, were focused on finding either one of Escobar’s right hand men amidst the veil of darkness. This was possibly the only thing that could still salvage this mission.

Bullets whirred through the air, with some missing you by a small margin. The familiar sound of gunshots resonated through the night as you moved closer to the heart of the compound. It was about forty-five minutes after the men’s arrival at the hideout, and there were already walls of pink drugs that lined the brightly-lit living room. The packages were similar to the ones that bagged an ounce of cocaine, with the only difference being the striking colour of the different substance.

You caught a glimpse of Poison, who was in the midst of dashing across the empty courtyard, clutching the drug close to his stomach. He was dressed in his usual getup, with a cream coloured shirt paired with jeans to match. Despite the poor visibility in the compound, his appearance was a stark contrast to his dark surroundings - that was further accentuated with the moonlight that shined upon him. You pulled your pistol up quickly, hands steady as you followed the path he took to escape. Your pointer finger hovered over the trigger, waiting for the right moment when he finally crossed your line of vision - and when he did, you finally pulled the trigger.

Missed.

Fuck.

You nudged at Horacio, who had just knocked out a man with the butt of his rifle, pointing at the direction in which Poison had gone. If there was anyone who would be able to give insightful information about Pablo Escobar, Poison was that guy. Catching him would certainly bring you closer to arresting the notorious drug dealer, and that sparked a sense of hope that all was not lost in this raid. This would be your best bet yet.

You took a quick glimpse at Javier and Steve, who were around the corner pinning down one of the men they had managed to tackle. Too occupied with cuffing the criminal, the both of them had completely missed the way you were watching them from across the room.

Looks like it’s down to Horacio and I to run after Poison, huh?

Horacio’s hand was on yours, guiding you in the direction of where Poison had just sprinted to just moments prior. The two of you raced across the courtyard, finding yourselves staring at two staircases that led to the roof of the building. Without a word passed between the two of you, you instinctively split up, racing up the two flights of stairs whilst following the trail of mud that painted the tilted floors. The marks had led all the way to the roof of the building, and you found yourself alone with only your pistol to fend with.

The air was cooler here, with gentle winds blowing through your hair as you hid behind a concrete wall next to the stairwell. The lights from the floor below lit up the area, brightening the parapet to your convenience. You steadied your breathing as softly as you could, studying the muddy footprints that led behind the wall you now stood in front of.

He was here.

There were soft unsteady pants that came behind you, and your heart raced as it got closer and closer. With each step the unknown figure took, there was a distinctive sound of mud squishing against the cool cement ground. You straightened your back and leaned as close to the wall as possible, awaiting the moment when the stranger were to finally show themselves.

The scent of cologne had filled the air, one that you weren’t quite familiar with. It was strong and sweet, catching you off guard with the pleasant whiff. Poison had finally come into view, with his distinctive slicked back mullet hairdo jutting out from the side of the wall and into your line of sight. You immediately pounced forward, throwing him off balance before he knocked the side of his pistol against your cheek, instantly drawing blood from the impact. The coolness of the metal had soon left your face, and you staggered back by the sheer force of the swift punch.

You aimed your gun directly at his chest but he manages to push it away before it fires, effectively shooting the bullet in the air with no harm done to him. He twists your wrists, an attempt to weaken your grasp on the handgun, which fails as your left hand moves swiftly to punch him in the nose. You hear the distinct sound of his bone cracking and his blood drips out of his nose a second later - colouring his thick moustache as his face contorts in anger.

You managed to dodge the next punch he threw, missing it by a hair’s breadth before noticing his leg swinging to kick you in the knee. You fell back instantly, immediately grateful to the vest for cushioning your fall a bit. The handgun in your possession had now been knocked away, flung several feet away into a nook you couldn’t quite reach. Your eyes widened as you watched Poison edge closer to your body, pointing his shimmering pistol straight at you.

The air was still, and for a split second, it felt like the world had stopped moving completely. Poison let out a soft scoff, smirking over the pathetic situation that you had found yourself in - which would end badly if you didn’t do something within the next few seconds. You lifted your right leg up, positioning to kick his knees so that his balance would falter. But Poison was far too quick for your liking, catching your foot as soon as it went up. He instinctively elbowed your shin, causing you to cry out in pain as you pulled your legs up and against your chest - curling up into a ball after the impact.

His breathing is laboured, and he pants as he leans forward, watching you with hawk-like eyes.

“Drop the fucking weapon, Poison.”

A familiar voice shouted at the man who hovered over you, and you recognised almost instantly who it belonged to. Your heart hammered against your chest, body sagging against the wet ground as Poison’s gun had now shifted away from you. You tilted your head to catch sight of Horacio who was standing several feet away from the two of you, pointing his rifle at Poison with tense fingers. His boots stomped against the smooth ground, carefully walking towards Poison who had his undivided attention.

With his focus away from you, you lunged forward to reach for your handgun, immediately pointing it at the man as you crouched in position across him. With a look of defeat, Poison slowly backed towards the edge of the roof, clutching tightly the bags of drugs that he had held onto throughout the chase. His eyes darted between you and Horacio as you closed in on him, leaving him no room to escape from the both of you.

As the two of you stood roughly six feet away from him, you carefully studied his stance and the way his outstretched arm moved back and forth between you and Horacio - pointer finger hovering over the trigger as his heel hit the edge of the parapet.

There was no getting out of this one, motherfucker.

Poison’s eyes shifted behind him, observing the one-story drop that had left him trapped between Horacio and you. His eyes snapped back at you, and with the sudden movement, you too had your finger barely hovering over the trigger. The silence amongst the three of you was almost deafening, and you could hear the commotion from the floor below get louder and louder - with sounds of engines starting up and blaring out of the compound.

A huge grin had broken out on his face, and the long fingers that wrapped around the packaging of the unknown substance now held on tighter. You limp forward towards him, eyebrows knitted together as you realised his shoulders had sagged, visibly becoming more relaxed than he was a few minutes prior.

What the fuck is going on?

“You don’t always win, you know?”

His voice was deep and smooth, ending the statement in a light chuckle. His hands were now outstretched, seemingly allowing himself to be arrested. The smile had not faltered, and as Horacio and you moved half a foot towards him, the bag he held was immediately flung up into the sky. The noise from around you dissolved, and everyone’s eyes were now on the flying package that was slowly falling back down. You notice Poison’s gun pointed upwards, and it immediately registers what he was trying to do.

He’s going to fucking shoot it.

Your body moves faster than you could comprehend, speeding towards the criminal in hopes to tackle him before he shoots the packaging. Your heart races, and your eyes are dead set on the man before you. You hear a faint call of your name behind you, muffled and worried, drowning in the background.

Poison’s eyes were on you, and he smiled mockingly as he fired the bullet through the bag, making your heart leap in your chest. At such close proximity, the shot rang in your ears, forcing you to duck as the pain spreaded across your hearing. You caught sight of Poison leaping off the edge, escaping your reach as the strange substance had begun settling all over you.

The fine powder had filled your nose, causing you to cough with a strong force as it entered your system. You leaned over the edge to notice Poison’s perfect landing on the gravel floors, breaking his fall with a front roll that had surprisingly not ruined his hairdo. You watched him hop into a car with several other men, driving off quickly into the night and away from the compound.

He was gone.

Your body slumped backwards, and you noticed the powder settling on the ground around you, as well as on your military green vest. It had a disgustingly sweet scent that was stimulating all your senses at once.

Fuck, this wasn’t good. This did not seem good at all.

Your body was quickly heating up, and the vest was starting to feel tighter as the minutes went by. Beads of sweat were forming above your eyebrow, and despite the cool atmosphere, it felt like you were on literal fire.

Does this thing work instantly?

Horacio came sprinting towards you, with his large palm rubbing gentle circles on your back. He crouched next to you, placing his rifle down to get a better while you gasped hard for air. The drug had a cooling sensation that spread across your body, and you were sure that the effects would start to surface soon. There were still bits of the powder that had yet to settle, and upon reaching out to help you, Horacio had unknowingly breathed in the pollen too.

Too hot, too tight — oh my f-fucking god.

Horacio’s hand on your body had sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt your clit throb with each reassuring caress he made. “You’re going to be fine, it’s going to be alright.”The powder tickled the back of your throat, causing you to cough even harder. You made a frantic attempt to remove the vest that was constricting your breathing, panting heavily once the thick material was off you. Horacio had worry etched all over his face, struggling to find ways to ease the pain you were starting to feel.

As he moved closer towards you, he felt the effects of the drug take over his body - dilating his pupils by a small margin. He sniffled, feeling his nose itch as he breathed more of the substance in. Your thoughts were all over the place, focusing on a different sensation in your body each time.

Your moans of discomfort were getting louder by the second, and you found yourself unable to move with the amount of friction that was sending pleasure straight to your core. You were practically trembling as you leaned forward on your hands and knees, sniffling as your hormones went into hyperdrive. Never have you felt this sensitive before, with each small movement you made causing you to drip all over your soft panties.

You could tell Horacio wasn’t having a good time either, with his face turning bright pink as he too started removing his vest and uniform shirt. He now sat next to you, in a thin cotton undershirt that stuck to him like a second skin, with sweat drenching the material, allowing his perfect build to be more pronounced under the moonlight. His pants were getting tighter, and he struggled to make a coherent sentence as he moved towards you.

“Co—come on, we— we need to get you to the hospital!”

His speech becoming slurred, barely able to string words together as he started getting more aroused. The drug was working its way fast throughout your bodies, and the low drawl that came from Horacio just moments prior had done nothing but speed up its effects.

“I— can’t, i’m too f—fucking sensitive.”

You started unbuttoning your pants, pulling them down until the fabric pooled at your ankles. With one swift motion, you removed it all together, sighing with satisfaction once it was finally off. The strange substance was making you more aroused by the second, the wetness creating a patch on your soft cotton underwear.

Horacio stared at you, jaw slack as he watched your legs part. His hand had instinctively moved down to palm his bulge, gasping when you started crawling closer to him. His cock was straining against the material, and Horacio’s fingers trailed his length gently.

“H-Horacio, I need you right now.”

“I-I don’t think that’s a good id-” Horacio stuttered, eyes looking everywhere as you kneeled before him. His breaths had become uneven, and he had to hold himself back from pulling you towards him.

“We can’t, I-It’s not right.”

Your whimpers were almost enough for him to give in, and he struggled to hold himself back. You couldn’t take it, everything was just too much at the moment - and you were sure you’d lose your goddamn mind if you beared with it for another second. The liquid fire that coursed through you was enough to lunge yourself into his arms, threading your fingers through his hair.

“Maybe this will work, oh god- maybe this is the only way to stop it.”

Horacio’s eyes dart around your face, watching for any signs of doubt that may indicate that you didn’t want this. You tilted his chin up, forcing him to look at your half-lidded eyes as you gently licked at his bottom lip.

“Horacio, please.”

His hands trailed down your back, stopping at your ass to caress the tenderness of your skin. Your hips bucked at the feeling of his warm hands against your cool skin, grinding against the bulge that was directly under you.

He was already looking disheveled, with parts of his hair sticking out in all directions. You could tell the gears in his head were moving, fighting back the lust that was taking over him. The heat from your pussy wasn’t helping him think straight, and the way you peppered kisses all over his neck made him lose his mind.

You moved up to kiss his lips, realising he was holding you back from doing so. He dragged his thumb over your plump lip, gasping as you licked the pad almost instinctively. His cock throbbed from under his tight pants, begging to be released as you continued sucking his finger innocently.

“Fuck it,” he mutters, removing his hand from gently cupping your face, “I’ll fuck you just how you want it, like the needy little brat you are.”

Horacio pulled you into his lap quickly, large warm hands on your back as he passionately started making out with you. His tongue worked his way past your lips, kissing you with a strong force that was starting to make you dizzy.

Your fingers were tangled in his short hair, pulling him closer as you grinded hard against his growing bulge. With each roll of your hip, the delicious friction between the two of you made you moan into the kiss, sending sparks that only made you wanting more. His left hand moved to the back of your head, pushing you closer into the kiss as his hips involuntarily bucked upwards to dry hump your clothed clit.

Hot — too fucking hot.

The friction of the material in between you had rubbed you both in a way that made you moan in delight. His shaft was already at its full length, pushing against his canvas pants.

The action alone made you feel way too overwhelmed, with tears welling in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him tighter. The moans you made each time his bulge thrusted against your panties were muffled by the deep kiss - making your head spin with the intoxicating sensation.

Horacio pulled your thin shirt up, bundling the material just above your bra before unhooking them completely. As soon as the last hook came off, he aggressively pulled your clothes off you - moving his head down to play with your nipples that were hard from both the arousal and the cool air.

His warm tongue against you felt downright sinful, expertly kissing and sucking on your nipples that elicited almost pornographic moans. His free hand was palming and rubbing the soft skin of your breast, stimulating you until he deemed it was time to move on to sucking on your other tit.

“You taste so so fucking good, fuck, I could play with you all night.” Horacio’s voice rumbled in his chest, and he took his time continuing to taste you.

You grinded against him harder, in hopes to finally get him to fuck you like you desperately wanted him too - but all that did was to make his hips jerk upwards against your cunt. You tried your best to muffle your noises by biting into your hand, not wanting to bring attention to you - after all, the two of you were practically naked on this rooftop where anybody could find you.

Your nipples glistened when Horacio finally moved his head back, his hot breath making you squirm as he panted against your wet skin. His fingers fiddled with his belt buckle, unlatching them furiously before pulling out his large hard shaft.

The sight itself was enough to make you squirm, and with heavy lidded eyes, you watched Horacio pump his cock with a tight fist, precum pooling around his slit from the action.

It was huge, and so fucking beautiful.

It throbbed in his hand each time he moved forward to kiss you, while the veins that ran along it became more prominent with each pump. You whimpered at the sight, wondering how something that huge would be able to fit inside you.

“Like what you see?” Horacio’s eyes were trained on you, smirking as he watched your breaths becoming more laboured.

“H—Horacio, fuck, I need you s—so badly. Please just fuck me already.”

You practically mewled for him, downright begging for him to take there and then. Horacio let out a low growl, moving his hands down to spank your ass with one swift movement.

“You’re just so fucking needy, aren’t you?”

His rough palms knead your butt, soothing the sting that had you moaning into the crook of his shoulder. Your grip on his biceps became stronger as his fingers trailed down your sides, tugging at your underwear to get it off. With your legs wrapped around his hip, Horacio found it a pain to remove the offending material from your body, opting to tear it completely with minimal effort. Your lips trailed up his neck, groaning as you felt his thick fingers hovering over your bare pussy, causing goosebumps on your skin in its wake.

“You’re such a noisy little girl, do you want me to stuff your panties into that pretty mouth of yours? That’ll shut you up, won’t it?”

Horacio’s voice was low, dripping with lust as he growled into your ear. You instinctively grinded your bare clit against his cock, feeling the heat overcome you. Your mewls had come out choked as the downright filthy words he whispered caused your cheeks to burn up.

Your hands slid down his chest, moving over to take his large throbbing cock into your smaller hands. You adjusted your position to ensure your pussy was hovering directly over his length, smearing the precum all over your outer lips before settling down on it completely. The stretch that came as you slowly eased yourself on his entire length was mind-blowing, causing your knees to tremble with each inch that was penetrated inside you.

It was too fucking much - and yet not enough.

Horacio’s lips capture yours again, kissing you passionately while pinching your ass. The feeling was overwhelming, igniting a fire deep within you.

“S-so fucking tight, fuck, your cunt is so fucking tight around me, baby.” His pants came out unsteady, and he rested his head against yours while waiting for you to make the first move. The use of the pet name hadn’t gone unnoticed, and the way he groaned into your ear had you clenching hard against him.

“P-Please f-fuck, babygirl, I’m going to cum if you keep doing that.” His large hands are on your back, and he quickly flips you over on your hands and knees, “I’m going to fuck you so good, you’ll be cumming all over my fat cock, princess.”

Horacio moves his hips experimentally, slowly thrusting into your dripping cunt. His right arm snakes around you, applying pressure against your clit that almost has you screaming from the pleasure. Your hand bled from how hard you were biting down, an attempt to keep your voice down as Horacio practically fucked you senseless.

His fingers play with your nub, rubbing vigorously at the bundle of nerves each time his cock rams back into your hole again. You felt your whole body tremble, threatening to give out at any moment with each thrust he made. Horacio planted frantic kisses all over your body, nipping and sucking at the skin every chance he got.

Horacio held your hips firmly, admiring the marks that he littered all over your skin. As his hips became to stutter and lose control, he gently reached out to card his fingers through your hair - thugging them with a slight force as he continued slamming into you.

“You feel so f—fucking good like this, my pretty slut, so obedient— just for me.”

This whole experience was just too much for you, and tears trailed down your cheeks as you quietly sobbed from how overstimulated you were. Horacio cooed at how well you were taking him, softly muttering into your ear how good you were for him, all while he was pounding animalistically into you. You could feel a familiar sensation build inside you, knowing very well what was to come soon.

“Ho- Horacio, ‘m gonna cum s- soon.”

He pulls you back up until your back is against his chest, continuing to thrust into you at an even faster pace. You could feel his wet kisses along your shoulders, causing you to shiver at his touch. His two fingers continue grinding against your clit, driving you closer and closer to your orgasm.

Horacio’s hot and heavy pants against your neck fired up your senses even more, which completely wrecked your brain once he leaned in to lick the space between your neck and shoulder.

His left hand, that was once palming and squeezing your breasts, now moved up to wrap around your neck - applying the lightest pressure possible. If it weren’t for the fact that Horacio was holding you up, you would’ve fallen by now due to how badly your body was trembling from stimulation.

Horacio made everything seem so sexy, and as he gently choked you while groaning your name in your ear - you could feel yourself about to let go.

“Then come for me - I want you to soak my cock with your cum, pretty girl.”

Fuck- it really was too much. He- he was too fucking much.

Horacio picked up his pace, fucking you at an almost brutal pace as you clenched around him. The skin against skin sound, along with the squelching noises that came each time he entered you, got louder and louder. You could feel your vision turning white, orgasm ripping through you like never before. Your mind was full yet blank at the same time, crying out Horacio’s name as you let the pleasure rip through you. He tilted your head towards him, kissing you fervently as he lost control of his hips.

Barely a moment later, he pulls out his dripping cock, allowing you to fall from the sudden lack of support. You rolled over to see Horacio staring straight at you, eyes pitch black as he jerked himself off to the sight of your essence dripping out of your pussy.

You leaned back against the floor, lying flat on the cool surface as you moved your fingers down to clean your cum. You rubbed your fingers along the entrance of your cunt, dipping them into your release - only to lick your fingers clean when you noticed Horacio’s eyes still trained on you. He had let out a guttural groan, forcing his eyes shut as his pace became faster. You were enchanted by the sight of a man as authoritative as him on his knees, jerking himself off to the mere display of you naked on the ground, with cum seeping out of your gaping hole.

Oh, how you were so wrong for misjudging him as a prude.

Horacio’s hair was sticking out all over the place, lips swollen from all the kissing. His biceps flexed with each thrust, and his mouth was wide open - losing himself in the pleasure he was chasing. He spits on his right palm before continuing to seek after his release, with his head tilted back as he reaches his high.

His large hands wrapped around his cock tighter, and with one last pump, he came all over your stomach - painting your soft skin white with his release. He chanted your name like it was a prayer, chest heaving as the pleasure washed all over him.

The view of him orgasming would’ve made you instantly turned on again, if it weren’t for the fact you felt like you were exhausted. Horacio hovered over you with his dick in his hand, completely unsure of what to do next. The drug was slowly wearing out, and the two of you awkwardly avoided eye contact as you took a breather from what was possibly the most intensive sex ever.

The effects were leaving your body, and you found your heartbeat and breathing gradually becoming normal. You were becoming more aware of your surroundings, mind clearing from the hazy blur it once was. The commotion below had died down, and you wondered if everything had been settled while the two of you were up here having the fuck of your lives. You finally sat up and crawled over to your clothes that were thrown a few feet away, eyeing your torn panties curiously.

How the hell did this man manage to rip it perfectly in half?

As you continued studying the now useless article of clothing, you heard Horacio clear his throat - effectively breaking you from your trail of thoughts. He already had his uniform shirt and pants on, stuffing the softening cock back before looking at you. He pointed at your stomach, face turning completely red as he started apologising for the mess he had made.

As he reached out for his handkerchief in his back pocket, he caught sight of your fingers swiping up his release with your fingers, sucking on them with a smile on your face.

“Stop it,” he groaned, “fuck, how are you still trying to tease me, even after I’ve fucked you? Hadn’t you already had your fill?”

“What can I say, Colonel? That was the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

You removed your fingers from your mouth with a wet ‘pop’, ensuring it was loud enough for him to hear. Once he had cleaned you up, he shoved the now dirty cloth back into his pocket, helping you up to your feet so that you could properly dress. Horacio’s radio called out to him, with Javier’s voice laced with worry. The message had come out muffled, with only bits of it successfully conveyed through. He answered their questions, turning his back to you as you quickly got dressed next to him. His cheeks were still dusted pink, and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he thought of what to say next.

“Guess we found out what this drug does exactly, huh?”

You let out a soft chuckle, tightening the last strap on your vest before turning back to him. The two of you adjusted your clothes once more before finally heading down the flight of stairs. The place had been cleared out entirely, with nothing but a speck of dust left in its wake. Javier and Steve jogged up to you, faces bunched up in confusion as they took in the sight of how awful you two looked.

“Where the hell have you been? You look like you’ve just been through some rough shit.” Steve pulled the cigarette away from his lips, breathing out a small puff of smoke. “We’ve managed to take down a couple of guys, and it looks like our work here is done. Come on, we best get the two of you home - we’ll fill you in on the road.”

Your fingers comb through your hair, settling it down as neatly as possible while you tailed behind the men. Your DEA partners muttered something amongst themselves, paying no attention to you and Horacio who trailed far behind them.

The tiny rocks crunched below your shoes, and you admired the beautiful view that surrounded the compound as you strolled with Horacio back to the car. The silence between you was starting to get awkward, and you fiddled with your fingers to avoid making eye contact with him. Whatever had happened earlier wasn’t something you quite regretted, but you wished it happened under more natural circumstances.

Just as you were about to get into the car, Horacio opened the door for you - tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he looked straight into your eyes. The moonlight accentuated his strong features, and you felt yourself falling a little bit more in love with him. His hand reaches out to hold yours, gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Hey,” Horacio cleared his throat, smiling at you bashfully before he continued, “would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night? I want to get to know you better, if you’d like.”

The question had caught you off-guard, but you quickly recovered as you intertwined your fingers with his. You tiptoed up to gently kiss his cheek, smiling as you noticed the tenderness of his skin, “of course Horacio, I’d love to.”

The car engine hums as it starts on, and you found yourself replaying the events that had transpired an hour earlier. The voices of your partners were drowned out as you looked out the window and at the fields of plantations. The wind blew through the tall plants, creating a gentle rustle as you smiled to yourself with glee.

Maybe that drug wasn’t so bad after all.

#horacio carrillo #horacio carrillo x reader #horacio carrillo imagine #narcos #peachebunnys fic

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promptis-imagines · 3 years

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apologies for the radio silence, but I finally have my chocobros buttons up on my etsy store! Feel free to check them out if you’d like, and browse the other designs I have. I shall now get back to our regularly scheduled promptis

#I've been slacking I know #I got a job thoooo #and finished art #woo #not promptis

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generaldisdainn · 4 years

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Four of a Kind

AO3 link

Rating: MA

Pairing: Kristanna

Summary: After accepting a job as the head of marketing for a local animal shelter, Anna finds herself in a new city in need of a place to live. Luckily, 3 guys know just the place.

Previous chapter

Chapter 9 (we’re back to our regularly scheduled fluff and shenanigans hehe)

“Alright. It’s official.” Anna came out into the kitchen and enunciated her entrance by throwing a drawer handle onto the island where Kristoff, Ryder, and Sven were all sitting. “I need a new dresser. Who wants to go with me to Target to get one?”

Sven pushed his stool back dramatically. “I call shotgun!”

“Okay, I’ll take that as a yes,” Anna chuckled.

“I’ll go too!” Ryder said with a smile.

“Kristoff?” Anna turned to him, wondering if he would join them.

“Sure, what the hell. I could use a couple of things from there.”

“Alright!” Anna clapped her hands together, suddenly excited to have the whole group with her. She figured it would turn a boring shopping trip into an actual event. “Let’s go!”

After a moment spent gathering up their things (Sven had to change into a different outfit before they left and Ryder insisted on bringing a snack "just in case"), they made their way down to the parking lot. Kristoff decided to drive since his car would be spacious enough to accommodate the four of them and a dresser. Sven got shotgun while Ryder and Anna sat in the back. Ryder handed Anna his phone every once in a while to show her a meme at which Anna would laugh earnestly.

“Oh my god, dude, pick a song!” Kristoff huffed. They’d only been driving for a minute, but Sven had already skipped through about 15 songs.

“I’m trying to find one to fit the mood!” Sven retorted as he flew past another five songs.

“Oh, play that Tik Tok song! Say So!” Ryder eagerly suggested.

“Ryder, you know nobody else in this car uses that app,” Sven replied.

“Alright, well you guys are missing out. When we get home I want everyone to see the dance I learned last night and you guys will change your mind,” Ryder asserted.

“Oh my god,” Sven groaned.

Anna smiled at the thought of Ryder learning Tik Tok dances in his room. She’d be lying if she said she had never wanted to try one herself. “I want to see your dance, Ryder! Maybe we could learn one together sometime!”

Ryder looked at her with a wide grin. “Yes!”

“Anna, don’t tell me you use that godforsaken app too,” Sven said with a resigned sigh.

Anna shrugged. “I do sometimes. I think it’s fun.”

“Doesn’t it steal your data and send it to China or something?” Kristoff chimed in.

“Yeah like every app doesn’t already collect all of your data,” Ryder scoffed, rolling his eyes for effect. He turned up to the front, pointing a finger towards Sven and Kristoff. “You guys are just mad because you’re boomers now. You’re old and you’re boomers and you refuse to accept that the world is moving on without you.”

Anna laughed and slapped a high five with Ryder, smiling at their newfound solidarity in using Tik Tok of all things.

“If being a boomer means that I don’t waste my time watching horny people thrust their hips to music then I will gladly claim that title," Sven said with a confident nod. "Right, Kristoff?”

“I accepted my fate as a boomer a long time ago,” Kristoff agreed.

Sven turned around to face the back, his mouth quirked upwards in a mischievous smile. “When we were in college, Kristoff would go around and bang on people’s doors to get them to shut up late at night.”

“What? I needed my sleep. And I know other people were thankful that I did that,” Kristoff said defensively. Anna laughed at the image of a grumpy, sleep-deprived Kristoff roused out of bed and making his way to a room where kids were up late partying. Sometimes he really did give off the energy of an old man. She couldn’t help but find it endearing.

The car came to a halt in the parking lot. “Alright, boomers and zoomers,” Kristoff began, sending a look back to Ryder and Anna on the word ‘zoomers’. “Everyone out. We’re here.”

***

Anna made her way down the furniture aisle, appraising the various dressers and armoires. Nothing piqued her interest like she hoped it would.

“You okay?” Kristoff asked from behind her. The concerned tone in his voice tugged at her heart. She knew the face she made when she was concentrated oftentimes made her look worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just looking.”

“Do you like any of them?”

Anna hummed thoughtfully for a moment as she looked over her limited options. “Not really. I think I might have to go somewhere else. I would’ve loved to go to Ikea, but I think the closest one is like an hour away.”

“I’m not doing anything today if you wanted to go to Ikea. I could drive you. Not if you don’t want that of course, but it might be nice. There's no pressure or anything though-”

“Kristoff,” Anna interrupted his rambling, placing a comforting hand on his arm. “I’d love that.” They shared an easy smile for a moment.

They were both brought out of their shared comfort as Ryder careened past them in a shopping cart and crashed into the stand next to them. Sven stood at the end of the aisle, a hand over his stomach as he doubled over in laughter.

“I can’t take you guys anywhere,” Kristoff said with a sigh, his mouth forming a slightly amused smirk nonetheless.

***

“Can we go to Lowes? I want to get some of those wall-hangy things for my new plant,” Ryder asked as the four of them headed back to the car after their Target run.

Anna was about to nod in agreement, but Sven jumped in before she could say anything.

“Oh, I’m actually not allowed in Lowes.” He said it so nonchalantly. The rest of the group faltered and stopped in their tracks while Sven kept going towards the car, completely unphased.

“Why aren’t you allowed in Lowes?” Anna hesitantly asked. There was a tiny part of her that thought that he was joking, but he had said it so sincerely, as if being banned from a large chain store was a common occurrence.

“Oh, I think I barricaded one of the aisles with plywood? I don’t really remember to be honest. I was high off my ass.”

“Sven, when the fuck was this?” Kristoff asked incredulously.

“It was like the beginning of freshman year of college. We weren’t super close then, so you didn’t go out with me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Kristoff groaned.

“I used to be pretty dumb. But it’s a fun story to tell.”

“Used to be?” Kristoff asked.

Sven rolled his eyes and nudged his friend playfully.

They drove back to the house together. Sven was finally able to settle on a song and danced along in the front seat while Ryder and Anna laughed at Tik Toks in the back.

Kristoff dropped Ryder and Sven off and waved them goodbye as Anna climbed into the passenger seat and plopped down next to him.

“I’ll find a dance for us to learn before you get back!” Ryder promised. Anna nodded enthusiastically and gave him a thumbs up while Sven rolled his eyes.

“Thanks again for driving me, Kristoff,” Anna said with an earnest smile as Kristoff pulled out into the street.

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” he replied, gazing at the road ahead, hoping she wouldn't see the subtle blush playing out across his cheeks. “I’m happy to do it.”

***

Kristoff looked over at Anna for a moment, allowing himself to admire the way she gazed out the window with wistful wonder at the passing trees. They had been driving for a good fifteen minutes or so at that point, conversation and comfortable silence passing between them easily. They had almost immediately settled back into friendly coexistence after their fight and subsequent reconciliation. They began watching shows together on the couch at night, and last weekend the four of them had all gone out together. Even on the rare day when they didn’t see each other, they were still a part of each other’s lives in small ways. Kristoff had gotten into the habit of leaving a piece of bread in the toaster for when Anna woke up, and Anna made a point of preheating the oven so it was hot for his dinner when he got home from work. They were thoughtful habits that they had both gotten into. Things were back to normal for them, even surpassing what their normalcy once was. The easy car ride so far had been a reflection of that.

A song came on the radio, and Anna suddenly bolted upright. “Oh my god, this song.”

“What about it?”

“This was one of my breakup songs with Hans.”

“Your breakup song?”

“Yeah, you know, like a song that helps you get through your breakup. You had to have had one.”

“I didn’t!”

“Are you serious? There wasn’t a single song that really spoke to you after your breakup?”

“No, I didn’t even know that was a thing until just now,” Kristoff said with a chuckle, amused by the sudden shock in Anna’s voice.

“Oh my god, I have an entire playlist on my Spotify called ‘Hans Sucks.’”

“Get outta here.”

“No, I’m dead serious- look!” Anna flashed her phone at Kristoff for a brief moment- just long enough for him to catch a glimpse of the playlist’s title: ‘Hans Sucks’.

“Okay, I actually have to hear this.”

Anna laughed and plugged in her phone. The first song that came on was “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

“Wow, very creative,” Kristoff teased.

Anna swatted at him. “Shush, this song’s amazing.” Anna sang along, bopping her head and singing the lyrics like she was the only one in the car. Kristoff smiled. If he hadn’t been driving he probably would have stared at her the whole time, captivated by the fiery tendrils of her hair that bounced as she sang and the way the light caught in her eyes. He didn’t know the song very well (he wouldn’t call himself a Taylor Swift fan), but her energy was infectious. He found himself bouncing his head and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

There were some more unfamiliar breakup songs that came on, some of which Kristoff found to be surprisingly empowering.

“You know, I’m starting to get this whole breakup song thing.”

“Right? They make you feel powerful! Like- fuck you, Samantha!”

Kristoff laughed.

They went back and forth on music for a bit, sharing stories about their favorite songs and lyrics.

“I had my first kiss to this song.”

Anna nearly choked. “Apple Bottom Jeans?”

Kristoff chuckled to himself. “It’s called ‘Low’, but yes, unfortunately.” He supposed it did sound a little ridiculous when you said it out loud. “It was at my 8th-grade dance. This song was on when I kissed my date under the bleachers.”

“That’s hilarious. I think my first kiss was after a date in high school? It was gross. He used way too much tongue.”

“Oh yeah, I used to be a terrible kisser. I’d like to think I’m okay now though.”

Anna hummed to herself for a moment. “I’d say you’re more than okay.”

Kristoff blushed, her words sending a shiver down his spine. He remembered what it felt like to kiss her- the soft way she bit at his bottom lip, the feeling of her hand in his hair. He was suddenly thankful he had the driving to focus on.

“Sorry, was that too much?” Anna asked. The sudden nervousness in her tone made him rush to reassure her.

“No, no, you’re fine." He could still sense her doubt. He tore his eyes from the road for a moment to offer her what he hoped would be a reassuring smile. "I promise. I was just caught off guard. Here- play this song next.”

The two continued to exchange songs and stories. Kristoff kept his mind on the driving. If we wasn’t careful, he swore he would crash the car getting lost in the way she moved.

***

Anna felt her arm brush against Kristoff’s as they walked down one of the hallways in Ikea. She had the sudden urge to grab his hand or maybe even cling to his arm as they walked. “He asked for time. He needs space,” Anna reminded herself. Kristoff looked down at her with a smile and those warm, brown eyes. She felt her stomach dip as she let herself get lost in them for a moment. Nope. She couldn’t. She turned to her right and made her way over to a couch, pretending to be enthralled with one of the intricate pillows.

“That’s pretty,” Kristoff said, motioning to the pillow in her hands.

“Yeah, it’s really cute.”

“Do you want to get it?”

Anna looked at him and cocked an eyebrow.

“For the couch," he clarified.

“I mean, I do, but I don’t know if I have decorating rights in the apartment,” she said with a slight chuckle. She placed the pillow back down, only for Kristoff to pick it back up and hold it close to his chest.

“Sven decorated most of the place. He can stand to have one pillow that we picked out on the couch.”

Anna’s heart swelled. A pillow that they picked out. Together.

***

“I used to come here all the time when I was little.” Anna’s elbows were perched on the fake counter of one of the many Ikea kitchen displays. She peered at Kristoff from one side of the fake window, his head rested on his hands much like Anna’s was. Kristoff smiled as she spoke, looking at her in a way that radiated warmth. They were on either side of the window, staring at each other through the gap where glass would have been if it was a real kitchen. “There was one near our house, and our mom would take us sometimes on the weekends. My sister and I would run around in the kitchens and play house until our mom finally told us it was time to go. She always got us food on the way out too.”

Kristoff nodded. “That sounds really nice.”

“It was.”

“Do you miss them?”

Anna had almost forgotten that she told him that her parents had practically disowned them. “Sometimes, but it’s easy to remind myself that I’m better off without them. And I have Elsa, so I’m okay.”

“I would love to meet her sometime.”

Anna’s heart fluttered at the implication that maybe one day Elsa and Kristoff would meet. Of course she assumed that Elsa would meet her roommates at some point, but the way Kristoff said it made it seem formal- like he would be meeting her in a kind of traditional “boyfriend meets the family” kind of way. Anna quickly shook off the thought before she could let her mind get too carried away. “What about your family? I don’t think I know anything about them.”

“I was adopted when I was 4 by my mom and dad. They’re great,” he started as they resumed their walk through the kitchen section of the Ikea. “My mom is the strongest person I know. And my dad is seriously hilarious. He has all these ridiculous stories from growing up on a farm.”

“They sound incredible,” Anna said with a wistful smile.

“They are. They would really like you.”

That same feeling bubbled up in her chest- the promise of some sort of future with him and the vision of time spent together as more than just friends. She watched as he walked over to a bed and laid on it, letting out a sigh of contentment.

“Kristoff,” she hissed. “We’re not supposed to lay on those.”

“No one’s looking,” he countered, patting the spot on the bed next to him. “Come on! It’s really comfy.”

Anna looked at him for a moment, biting her lip and mulling it over in her head. She had always been a stickler for the rules, and the thought of breaking one now, even a small one, made her feel a bit anxious. But the soft twinkle in his eyes and the way he held an arm open in such an inviting way overrode any sort of worry she felt. She climbed up next to him and sunk down into the pillows, careful to leave enough space between the two of them. She turned her head to the side and saw him, all rosy cheeks, brown eyes, and warm smile. She counted the freckles that ran across his nose, ones that she hadn’t noticed before. She could feel his breath tickling her face. They were far enough so that they weren’t touching, but close enough that under any other circumstances, she would’ve expected him to lean in for a kiss, to capture her lips in his and pull her into his chest.

He suddenly bolted upright as if he had been struck by something, his eyes alight with mischief. He grabbed her hand and tugged her off the bed. Anna giggled at the unexpected motion, but followed him along regardless, down the hall and around the corner. She was starting to think that perhaps she would follow him to the edge of the world.

They stopped and Kristoff laughed, taking a moment to catch his breath. “There was one of those Ikea cop people.”

“One of what?” Anna joined him in his laughter.

“You know,” he started, motioning with his hands as if that would help him find the right words. “Those people that work here and walk around to make sure you don’t steal anything or sleep on the beds. I didn’t want to get us in trouble.”

“Oh.” Anna covered her mouth as she giggled. “Well, thanks for saving us then,” she concluded.

Kristoff offered her another smile. It seemed as though he had been smiling a lot more frequently lately. “No problem.”

***

“This is the one,” Anna announced, pointing to a beautiful white dresser with ornate handles on each drawer.

“I like it,” Kristoff concurred.

“I think I’m going to paint it and really make it my own, you know? It’ll be a fun project.”

Kristoff nodded. “I really like that idea.”

“I’m glad.” Anna looked at the large box before her and let out a sigh. “Now for the not so fun part- checking out and getting this thing in the car.”

Kristoff took a step forward and grabbed the box containing the disassembled dresser. He lifted it without hesitation from its slightly elevated position and placed it on the ground by his feet. “Here, can you grab that cart over there?”

Anna didn’t say anything. She always forgot how strong he was. It caught her off guard whenever he reminded her, whether it was by lifting something at home or lifting this Ikea box. Anna was always struck by the defined muscles of his arms and the sturdy width of his shoulders in those moments. She tore her eyes away and ran to go get a cart.

Kristoff again easily lifted the box onto the wheeled platform and took the lead in guiding it over to the checkout area.

“So once we finish building this thing are you going to start painting it right away?” Kristoff asked.

Anna’s heart surged. We. He wanted to build it with her. “I’ll probably work on it periodically. It’s nice to have ongoing projects like that. You and Ryder and Sven are welcome to paint stuff on it too if you’d like.”

“Oh god. Don’t tell Sven that. You’ll have a million dicks all over your desk before you know it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Anna replied with a laugh.

Anna paid for her dresser. She would have paid for the decorative pillow too, but Kristoff had insisted on covering it. He loaded the dresser into his car with relative ease, and they hopped in together, exchanging cheerful glances before starting on their hour-long journey back home. This time the ride was more silent, quiet spaces filled with the soft lull of the radio and the feeling of the wheels against the pavement of the road beneath them. Anna thought about how natural it would feel to reach out and hold his hand. But she kept to herself. She was fine with that. She was just happy to have such a good friend.

***

Kristoff knew he liked Anna. It wasn’t hard to admit that much to himself. He knew he liked her almost too much- enough to want to wake up next to her every morning and make her breakfast in bed and kiss her whenever he got the chance- even sleep with her for God’s sake. He thought he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and yet, here he was.

It seemed like she was keen on knocking down every wall he had tried to put up, exposing him for a kindhearted, sensitive person. A while ago Kristoff would’ve said that that version of himself was dead, buried long ago with his last relationship. But with her, he was starting to see parts of himself emerge that he assumed were long gone.

She was there for him even when he let his insecurities get the best of him and turn him into a total asshole. He felt unworthy of her, and yet every time he tried to distance himself, there she was, ready to remind him of what it felt like to show your truest self and let people in.

He glanced over at her sleeping form. She had warned him this would happen. She told him that she always got sleepy on car trips. She said that she might end up falling asleep and if she did for him to please wake her up. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not when she looked so peaceful and so beautiful. Her cheek was smushed up against the glass and he thought he could even see a hint of drool in the corner of her mouth, but she was gorgeous and stunning and she made his heart feel light.

For the first time, he felt like maybe he had made the wrong decision. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that he needed time to be on his own. Because when he looked at her, suddenly he felt like he didn’t need any time at all. He was ready. There was something about her. Something in the way she made him feel. Free to be himself? Confident? Appreciated? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it was there, gnawing at him, slowly wearing away at the part of himself that continued to tell him that he was too scared to try again, too scared to open back up when he could just get hurt again. Something told him that she was different, maybe even that she was the one. Maybe he wouldn’t act on it today or tomorrow or this week or the next, but Kristoff knew in his heart that they wouldn’t be just friends for long.

#kristanna #kristanna fanfic #frozen fanfiction #frozen fanfic #kristoff

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litwitlady · 4 years

Text

whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still (5/6)

Read on AO3 - where it’s now complete.

Warnings: light addiction discussion

v. Michael (and Rosa, too!)

‘I know it feels impossible right now, Michael. But it’s progress. Without the lies between you, you’ll be able to heal when you’re both ready.’ Dr. Sampson leans forward and stretches out her arm. ‘May I see your list again.’

He unfolds the worn sheet of notebook paper and hands it over. ‘I’m done. Well, kind of done.’

Her eyes scan the names. ‘So, that’s it? Only four?’

Michael sighs. ‘There’s five. But I’m not ready for the fifth yet. Obviously. I couldn’t even write his name down.’

She narrows her eyes at him and then smiles. ‘I think there’s another name missing.’

He frowns at her. ‘There isn’t.’

‘When you look at yourself in the mirror, Michael, what do you see and what do you want to see?’ She sits back in her chair, knowing she’s hit a nerve.

Michael slumps on the sofa, suddenly regretting the moment he’d stepped into her office.

***

A couple of weeks later, Michael stands in front of the mirror in his tiny bathroom staring at himself. Replaying Dr. Sampson’s questions over and over in his mind. Still unable to answer either one. But even so, he thinks he understands what she’s getting at - that he needs to make amends with himself. How to go about that is anyone’s guess.

Despite how lost he feels, he’s still trying. These days he no longer sleeps until noon or goes to bed as the sun begins to rise. He works out regularly and eats fewer cheeseburgers, but still stops by to chat with Arturo regularly. Sanders is getting his money’s worth - a lot more than his money’s worth actually. And he’s still not drinking. Has even looked up the local Alcoholics Anonymous schedule in case he ever needs the additional help.

And all of that has been nice. Once upon a time, he’d never have admitted that - not even to himself. But he can feel himself changing. Letting go of so much of the bullshit he’s held onto for so stupid long. Isobel has even remarked more than once at how much more he smiles now. At how much more he genuinely means every smile now.

But in spite of all his positive changes, he knows he hasn’t found the right way to forgive himself. Nothing he’s done feels big enough - significant enough. He’s struggling and needs help. So, before he starts his day, he places a phone call to Dr. Sampson’s office and asks for an extra appointment. He finds it hard to recognize his own voice. Which is a good thing because the old one sucked.

***

A few days later he makes the drive to Albuquerque. Dr. Sampson seems happy to see him, which he’s relieved about because penciling him in on such short notice couldn’t have been easy.

‘Okay, Michael, let’s see if we can work through your mental block. What have you worked on so far?’

‘Normal stuff - like eating better, working out, and not drinking. That’s all been good, but it’s just…I don’t know…health kick bullshit. None of it really matters. Problem is - I don’t know what really matters. I’m a pretty simple guy.’ He bites at his thumbnail.

She nods. ‘I think those changes are great, Michael. And are absolutely part of making amends with yourself. But you’re saying you don’t feel satisfied yet?’

‘Yeah. There’s still this nagging feeling in my gut that I’m not trying hard enough.’

‘All right, let’s work on that for a minute.’ She crosses her legs and jots down something on her notepad. ‘Is there a moment in your life when you remember your trajectory changing? Maybe you had big life plans but something got in the way. Or maybe someone interfered and pulled you off track. Anything like that?’

There’s a lot like that. But one very specific day floods his memories. He swallows and begins to bounce his leg. Sees Dr. Sampson read him like an open book, but he’s too afraid to talk about that day out loud. He drops his chin in defeat.

‘That’s the one, Michael. That’s where the work is. And it’s not meant to be easy.’ Her voice is so soft and understanding. He wonders how understanding she’d be if he opened his mouth and told her the truth about what he’d done that summer night so long ago.

***

The next day Michael loads several boxes into the bed of his truck and takes off for the local church. He street parks and waits for the Addicts Anonymous group to let out. She finds him leaning against his Chevy, hat in place, and right leg bent onto the fender behind him. All he’s missing is a long piece of wheat straw hanging from his lips.

Rosa crosses her arms, confrontational but also amused. ‘You missed a good meeting. Maybe next time you’ll actually make it inside.’

‘Not here for the meeting, here for you.’ He lowers his tailgate and slides one of the boxes forward, cutting the flaps open with his pocket knife. ‘Thought we could drive out to the desert and get a little practice in.’ Holding up a lightbulb, Michael smirks at her. ‘Some chirpy little birdies told me you’re absolute shit at control.’ He tosses her the bulb like it’s burning. She drops it, glass shattering on the street at her feet.

‘Fuck off, payaso. I’ve got better things to do than be lectured by another overpowered alien. Never ends well for me.’ She turns her back and starts to walk away, shoulders wide with purpose and intent.

Michael lets her walk away. Shuts his tailgate and climbs back inside his truck, adjusting his side mirror to focus on her retreating form. He watches her pause, clench her fists, and turn back. Squinting her eyes at him and flicking him off. He laughs and eventually she slides in next to him. ‘I hate you.’

‘Hmm.’ He quirks an eyebrow and smiles, turning the key in the ignition. ‘Hate’s good. It’ll help you focus.’

The drive takes thirty minutes and they ride in silence. Rosa fiddles with the radio dial until she gets frustrated enough to give up and leave it on the one working station - country hits from yesterday and today. Michael knows she may as well be in hell, and she doesn’t bother hiding it. They have that in common.

He parks in what appears to be the middle of nowhere. But to him, it’s like home. The Chevy’s tire tracks branded into the desert sand. Rosa can’t help but comment. ‘Come here often?’

‘Several times a week since I got the truck. Alone…mostly. To clear my head.’ Mostly is doing a lot of work considering how many hours he’s spent here with Alex over the past eleven years. But Rosa doesn’t need to know that. ‘You can borrow it if you ever need to.’ He lowers the tailgate again and grabs a lightbulb. ‘Ready?’

She narrows her eyes. ‘What? No helpful advice about grounding myself and finding my center?’

Michael rolls his eyes. ‘I’m not Isobel. And I’m not Max. Just fucking concentrate.’ He holds out the bulb towards her and when he sees her eyes focus, he throws the bulb high into the air. It crashes on a nearby boulder. ‘You really are terrible.’

‘What the fuck? Why did you throw it?’ Her arms are crossed again, sweatshirt sleeves pulled down past her fingertips.

‘Too much time and you’ll overthink everything. If you’re anything like me, you need the added pressure. Now it’s my turn.’ He grabs his own bulb.

She shakes her head. ‘What do you mean, your turn? Can’t you do this already? I mean, you’re supposed to be teaching me - not yourself.’

He floats the lightbulb in the air between them. ‘I can use and control my power better than Max or Isobel will ever be able to. But there’s others powers I’ve never bothered to try before. Never cared enough, I guess. Or maybe some other fucked up reason. Who can say? Now shush.’

Using the same tactic he’d tried with Rosa, Michael tosses the bulb into the air and before it hits the ground, the tiniest spark blinks at them. Rosa pushes him playfully. ‘No fucking fair! How did you do that?’

Michael stares at where the bulb shattered and honestly can’t believe he managed to make anything happen. Even with Isobel’s newfound telekinesis, he’d been convinced he wasn’t worthy of anything more than what he already had. The proof at how wrong he was incredibly hard to swallow. ‘Let me try a few more times and then I’ll try to explain.’

Several splattered bulbs later, he’s able to light them and float them at the same time. Easy as breathing. Rosa has even started smiling and clapping each time he’s successful.

‘When Max and Isobel were kids, they sucked at control. Max used to turn entire neighborhood blocks dark just from someone mentioning your sister’s name. School was always so dangerous because his accidental boners blew the classroom lights more than once. It got so bad that some days he’d have to go home early, feigning migraines.’ He laughs at the grin on Rosa’s face. ‘You can tell him I told you that story.’

‘Liz needs to know too.’ Her grin is wicked and Michael feels a very immature twinge of satisfaction.

‘Isobel was better, but not near as good as me. She’d get tired sometimes or upset and her control would crack. But that never stopped her from creeping into our minds. So, we started fighting back. In her weakest moments, it wasn’t her doing the influencing - it was us, me and Max. She’d leave our mindscapes with an intense desire to cluck like a chicken or bark like a dog. Really stupid kid shit.’ He lines up several more bulbs along his tailgate, squinting at the midday glare. ‘She’s too good now, though, and you definitely can’t tell her I told you that.’

‘You never struggled, though? Not like them?’ She hops up onto the tailgate and tilts her head, really intending to listen to him. It shifts something loose in his heart.

‘I didn’t grow up with love or comfort. I grew up with neglect and violence. Any time I fucked up, I risked brutal consequences. So, out of necessity my control has always been impeccable. I used to think my high I.Q. had something to do with it, but I know better now.’ He picks up two bulbs and stares at them. ‘It didn’t matter if I was having a bad day or hadn’t slept the night before. It didn’t matter if I was sad or angry or drowned in lust or love. I never lost control.’

He floats the two bulbs out in front of her. ‘You know that feeling when you need a fix so bad it hurts? That heaviness in the pit of your stomach? And the way your lungs expand against your ribs like they’re a second away from exploding?’

He glances at her and she nods, solemnly. Because she does know. It’s another thing they have in common. ‘That’s where you’ll find it. That’s where your power lives. And that’s how you control it. Max and Isobel will never fully be able to understand. But you and me? We were built for this.’ Max’s words echo back through his head. ‘It’s fucked up, but it’s the truth.’

They share one last meaningful look and then Rosa turns her attention to the two bulbs in front of her. Michael lights one and she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and lights the second. When her eyes reopen, the glowing bulb shines full and bright across her face. Her eyes glisten with tears and Michael turns back to his truck to give her some space. He watches as slowly one by one, the remaining ten bulbs on his tailgate light up.

‘Float them and I’ll buy you dinner.’

It takes her another hour, but eventually she can light and float at the same time. ‘I didn’t know I’d have your power, too. I thought I’d only get Max’s.’

Michael frowns and shakes his head. ‘We all have every power. Some just come easier. It’s something we only recently learned.’ Opening the other two boxes, Michael floats every single bulb, spinning them around her. ‘Light them all.’ She plants her feet and keeps her eyes open this time. Brightening them in a pattern only she can see. Head thrown back, eyes shining, and face blushed by the pleasure of her power. It’s in that simple moment that Michael figures out what comes next.

Two days later, he walks into the admissions office of Eastern New Mexico University’s Roswell campus with the clearest head he’s had in a long time. Maybe ever. The advisor talks him through all his options, and he leaves with an application and program guide. For social work. It’s not the future he had planned for and lost. It’s not the future he’d subjected himself to and hated. It’s the future that was waiting for him once he’d finally forgiven himself.

#whoever is filthy let him be filthy still #michael x rosa

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crazy-little-cool-cat · 4 years

Text

Gold Digger - Chapter 3 | Gwilym Lee x OFC

A/N: So back to our regular Saturday schedule only it’s Wednesday, we are! Sorry for the long wait, I had some family things to take care of and whatnot.

Warnings: The usual?

Word Count: ~3.4K

Warnings: Cross-over (I miss those HiG idiots so much), swearing, alcohol use, Joe shenanigans.

The Playlist (updates regularly)

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Lizzie and Shelly were in some foul moods. They've been arguing for nearly half an hour now. Although Lizzie promised Shelly a Gwil-a-thon, she changed her mind because she was feeling quite ill. Sniffles, coughs, and sneezes where the majority of the sounds emanating out of her. Balls of tissues surrounded her on the living room sofa, empty mugs of tea decorated the coffee table. Her ducky slippers poked from under the blanket she covered herself with. Her Grumpy Cat pajamas indicating that she hadn't left the house that day. Shelly, however, did not care in the slightest. She was promised a binge session and she was going to do whatever it took to make it happen.

"I don't care if you're under the weather, and I don't understand what it has to do with watching some telly." Shelly planted her hands on her hips and tapped her foot impatiently. "I want to see your Prince Charming act, alright?!"

"Do you dot udderstadd the word doe?" Lizzie croaked inbetween sniffles. "Christ!"

Shelly scoffed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. Then, a lightbulb seemed to go off in her head, because she had a devilish glint in her eyes.

"Doe, a deer?" Shelly smirked. "A female deer?"

"Oh, God." Lizzie grumbled and slapped her palm to her face. "Dot this."

"Raaaaaaay," Shelly bellowed, "a drop of golden suuuuuun!"

"Shelly, please stop."

"Me," Shelly puffed out her chest and pointed upwards, "A name I call myself!"

"Shells, please!"

"Faaaaa," Shelly ignored her, "a long, long way to run!"

"Shelly!" Lizzie barked.

"Yes?"

"Why?!"

"Because I know how that movie terrifies you." Shelly shrugged. "Seeeeew, a needle pulling thread!"

"Shelly!!!"

"Laaaaaa!" Shelly's voice rose in octaves, "a note to follow Sew!"

"For cry-eed out loud, woo-bad!"

"Teaaaaaa," Shelly carried on, "a drink with jam and bread!"

"Fide!" Lizzie raised her hands in surrender, "fide. We'll watch Jabestowd. Just please stop!"

"Oh, alright."

"Thakes, Shells." Lizzie groaned.

"You know, you really do talk gibberish when you're sick." Shelly noted and sat down on the armchair, keeping a safe distance from her sick roommate and best friend. "It's alright though. I speak fluent "Ill-zie."

"You're such a dork."

"Get it? Ill-zie?"

"Yes, Shelly." Lizzie said as she put on the first episode.

"It's like Lizzie but with jumbled up letters!"

"Shut up already! It's starting!"

###

A week after the "Gwil-a-thon", Lizzie kept radio-silent when it came to him. Watching him on screen made her swoon. Knowing how talented he was made her head spin. The fact that she's now friends with someone like him made her heart stop. None of it made any sense to her. Why would someone like that be interested in someone like her? She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that an actual celebrity wanted her company. 'A bloody schoolteacher', as she fondly referred to herself as she got drunk on wine with Shelly on a Saturday night, fully healed from her flu. Then, her phone notified there's an incoming message, and Lizzie's heart dropped right to her knickers.

'My mate's coming by for a visit next week and we're going to this party. Would you like to be our plus one?'

Lizzie sighed and tapped her finger against her cheek as she contemplated her response. She didn't know much about who Gwilym's friends were, or the kind of parties they enjoy going to. She also hasn't really spoken to him at all for a whole week after binge-watching everything he was ever in with Shelly. Her green eyes bore holes into the screen as she pondered over it. She blew a soft curl away from her face, pensive.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Shelly quipped as she poured them both glasses of white wine.

"Gwil invited me to a party with one of his mates next week." Lizzie looked up and reach her hand out, opening and closing her fingers.

"Go!" Shelly barked and gave Lizzie her glass. "Go!!!"

"I don't even know the lad -"

"You'll get to know him at the party!"

"- and I haven't spoken to Gwil at all, all week. Don't you think it'll look a bit sketchy if I suddenly jump on the opportunity?" Lizzie pouted.

"He doesn't seem to think anything of your silence, Liz." Shelly noted. "He probably just assumed you were busy being a bloody schoolteacher, you know."

"Hm."

Shelly and Lizzie stared at her phone for a minute before Shelly snatched it away and unlocked the screen.

"Hey!" Lizzie cried.

"Shut up, I'm doing you a big favour here!" Shelly pushed Lizzie back with one hand and texted 'sure' with the other. "Done."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing." Shelly shrugged innocently and gave Lizzie her phone back. She sipped her wine calmly.

Bloop.

'Great! We'll pick you up. We'll figure out the rest of the details next week.'

###

"What if it's the blond one?" Shelly slightly slurred her words as she drained the third bottle of wine into her glass. "The drummer guy?"

"Ben Hardy?" Lizzie snorted. "You think it's going to be Ben Hardy?"

"Why not?!"

"They were castmates, Shells!" Lizzie sipped her wine. "Just because they acted in a film together doesn't mean they're bffs."

"You're clearly not following them on Instagram, then." Shelly smirked.

"Oh, and you are?" Lizzie scoffed.

"I sure am!"

"Jesus."

"No, my name is Shelly." She joked. "Whoever this bloke is, you know he's a looker if Prince Charming is hanging out with him."

"What?"

"Attractive people only hang out with other attractive people!" Shelly informed her best friend. "It's the rule of law."

"What law?" Lizzie's brows knotted in confusion.

"The law of science!"

"He's married, you know." Lizzie noted.

"Gwilym?!" Shelly gasped.

"No, you plum!" Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Ben Hardy!"

"Oh, right. To your girl-crush." Shelly sing-sang.

"She's not my girl-crush."

"She totally is." Shelly giggled. "Look at you blushing!"

###

The night of the party, Lizzie was beside herself with nerves. She wanted to impress Gwilym and make him want her as more than just a friend. Whether it was the fact that he was Annabelle Lee's cousin or the fact that he was just the perfect man, she just wanted him. His company. His touch. His attention. Fluffing up her hair at the roots, she looked down at her vanity and deliberated the perfect lipstick to match her outfit and finalize her look. Tonight was the night Gwilym will see her and fall in love. The thing she didn't know was that he already had - when he knocked her on her ass and she laid there on the grass, looking like a porcelain doll some child had dropped. With her look complete, she left her room for Shelly's input.

"How do I look?" Lizzie twirled in front of Shelly.

"Too clothed."

"It's January. I don't want to get pneumonia, alright?" Lizzie scoffed. "T'was bad enough with the flu. My class got split and -" Lizzie adjusted the cuffs of her skin-tight red sweater-dress.

"Shut up with work talk on weekends already!" Shelly put a hand up to stop Lizzie's rambles as she stepped up to her. "Ugh!" she groaned and pulled Lizzie's neckline down. "It's like you're not even trying -"

"Shells!" Lizzie gasped and jumped back. "That's so rude!"

"You have to flaunt some of the goods, missy."

"The goods were flaunted, thank you very much!"

"No, they were not. Now, however?" Shelly hiked up the skirt of Lizzie's dress. "Much better. Wear the knee-high black boots."

"I'll look like a prostitute." Lizzie scoffed.

"A high-end escort, really." Shelly countered. "If you do shag prince charming," Shelly tousled Lizzie's soft curls to give her a bedridden, disheveled look, "bring him home and be as loud and as nasty as you possibly can, please."

"Good God, woman!"

"Or just do it right on the sofa, if you want. Make a sex-tape out of it." Shelly winked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"You're hopeless."

"I know."

###

Gwilym leaned against the car, one leg crossed in front of the other, as he waited for Lizzie. His breath clouded as he exhaled, the January winter chill seeping into his bones. A flash of red caught his eye, making him do a double-take. He gulped when he saw Lizzie and rubbed his hands together, suddenly slightly nervous. She walked up to him with a lopsided smile, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. She had a swagger to her steps, she almost looked like she was cat-walking towards him.

"You look amazing!" Gwilym's eyes scanned over her body. "Aren't you frozen solid?"

"I am, in fact, freezing," Lizzie giggled and hoped he couldn't hear her teeth chattering. "Where's your mate?"

"He decided to stay in the car." Gwilym rolled his eyes playfully. "Americans, you know?"

Lizzie nodded and made a mental note to herself that it was not Ben Hardy in that car.

"Did you enjoy free-heeeeeeee -" Gwilym's friend seemed to have forgotten how to use words as he turned around in his seat to look at Lizzie. "Hello."

"Joe, meet Lizzie." Gwilym said as he collapsed into the driver's seat and she sat down very carefully at the back. "Lizzie, this is Joe."

"Hey, Joe."

"Hello." Joe had a dopey smile on his face. A whiff of whiskey reached Lizzie's nostrils. "Hi."

"Pre-gaming?" Lizzie snorted and made eye contact with Gwilym through the rear-view mirror. "Really?"

"He insisted." Gwilym shrugged and flicked the blinkers on. "So this party we're going to is nothing too fancy, really."

"What's the occasion?" Lizzie blushed under Joe's gaze.

"Birthday!" Joe announced. "Someone we worked with on a project not too long ago."

"Look at you, trying to be cool." Gwilym chuckled and earned a glare from Joe. "Our best mate is having a birthday. Joe is very excited."

"Benny deserves every bit of my excitement."

"B... beh..." Lizzie stuttered and gulped as she composed herself, "Benny?"

"Yeah." Joe had a dreamy look in his eyes. "His name's Ben."

"Huh." The prospect of meeting Ben Hardy and his wife so casually made Lizzie obliviously bite her bottom lip. Both men shift uncomfortably. "That sounds like fun."

###

"Silly Gwilly!!!"

Gwilym, Joe and Lizzie turned around to the source of the screeching as they walked inside the club. The music thumped and the light flickered.

"Oh my God!" Lizzie gasped and froze in her tracks. "Is that...?"

"Annabelle!" Joe finished her sentence and ran towards Annabelle with open arms.

"Move it, Joseph!" Annabelle side stepped around him and made a bee-line towards Gwilym. "I feel like I haven't seen you in years! What the fuck?!"

"Got a bit preoccupied, Banana." Gwilym picked her up and swayed with her from side to side in a tight hug. "I missed you too."

"Just because you and Clara aren't together anymore doesn't mean you have to cut all ties with me, you know." Annabelle detangled her legs from around his waist and slid down his body to the floor as if he were a fireman's pole. "She's on holiday anyways. Who's this?"

"This," Gwilym took Lizzie's hand and pulled her closer to him and his cousin, "is my new... Er... friend, Lizzie."

"Friend, huh?" Joe and Annabelle said simultaneously.

"Yep. Ran into her in the park one day, literally." Gwilym explained.

Lizzie opened and closed her mouth like a fish as she tried to conjure up a coherent sentence. Annabelle Lee-Jones was, by far, her favourite person on the entire planet. Mentally kicking herself, Lizzie extended a hand out for Annabelle to shake with an awkward giggle.

"Hi, I, um..." Lizzie struggled for words and only felt worse when Annabelle raised an amused eyebrow at her. "I don't get starstruck very often but you're just about my favourite person ever..."

"That's so sweet!" Annabelle laughed and pulled Lizzie in for a hug. "After BoRhap exploded no one even cares about me anymore. You just made my day, you know."

"Where's Ben?" Joe interrupted.

"At the table." Annabelle rolled her eyes. "Go find your husband, Joe. Lizzie, you're coming with me!"

Annabelle pulled Lizzie along by the hand and walked her over to the bar. Lizzie stumbled as she looked back at Gwilym. He waved at her with an amused smirk on his face. If she survived a night out with this crew, it will be nothing short of a miracle.

###

"Who's the redhead?" Ben asked as he stared at his wife chatting up a stranger. "Why is Annie latching onto her?"

"Gwil's friend. Lizzie." Joe said and wiggled his eyebrows.

"She really is just a friend." Gwil shrugged. "I'm not sure she's even remotely interested in me."

"Is she blind or just stupid, then?" Ben wondered.

"Neither, you rude fuck." Gwilym snorted.

"Are you into her?" Joe asked.

"I mean, she's gorgeous..." Gwilym rubbed at his chin.

"That, she is." Ben said under his breath.

"I'm telling Annie." Joe warned.

"Go ahead, I think Annie might have a crush on her. She won't mind. She'll probably let Ben watch." Gwilym chuckled and made Ben blush a crimson red.

"So, if she's just a friend..." Joe started.

Gwilym groaned and bit the inside of his cheek, knowing where Joe's train of thought was going.

"I mean, I wouldn't want to cock block my best -"

"Yes, Joe. You can hit on her." Gwilym rolled his eyes and cut him off. Lizzie wasn't his to have and it seemed like the situation won't change in the foreseeable future. "Knock yourself out."

###

Lizzie was sloshed. Blitzed. Completely and utterly hammered. Gwilym seemed to keep her at a safe distance all evening, calling her his 'friend' every other sentence. Each time made her feel slightly more devastated - something that did not go unnoticed by Annie. Coming to the rescue, Annie made sure Lizzie will forget all about her troubles and have a happy, drunk, good time at Ben's party.

Indeed, Lizzie felt like a happy haze veiled everything around her. She swayed from side to side, Joe behind her with a hand on her hip, telling her silly jokes as they danced. His breath fanned over her ear and gave her goosebumps. She hasn't hooked up with anyone in a while, and Gwilym was obviously uninterested in her and more interested in the flock of girls surrounding him and batting their eyelashes at him. A small pang of jealousy made her hurt, but then Joe gave her all of his attention and she was drunk and happy, and things rolled downhill like a snowball effect. His lips softly grazed the shell of her ear and he pulled her closer to him. Her lips parted at the sensation. Joe's warm hands roamed over her as they danced, leaving seary trails in their wake. He looked up to see Gwil waving his hand at him, trying to get his attention. When he finally did, Gwil lifted his other hand up, dangling his car keys to signal Joe that it was time to leave.

"Gwil's calling for us." Joe slurred, inclining his head down and nuzzling her cheek slightly. "Think it's time to go."

"I don't wanna..." Lizzie pouted.

"Me neither."

Lizzie turned her head and brushed her lips against Joe's, feeling a small rush of adrenaline flow through her. Throwing caution to the wind, both drunks locked lips on the dance floor in a sloppy, almost obscene kiss.

Gwilym, Ben and Annabelle watched from a distance and snorted, all at the same time. They've been watching the two carefully since Joe asked for Gwil's "permission" to hook up with Lizzie as if it were a National Geographic film.

"So you're really going to let Joe have his way with her?" Ben looked at Gwilym questioningly.

"She's not mine." Gwilym shrugged. "And from the looks of it, she doesn't want to be."

"You oblivious wanker." Annie muttered under her breath, unheard by the other two.

###

"Oh, no, no, no!" Gwilym said and grabbed Joe by the elbow as if he were a disobedient child, "you're going in the front!"

"Hey!" Joe protested and stumbled after Gwilym. "That's rude!"

"No, rude is snogging with my Lizzie in the back of my bloody car."

"Your Lizzie?" Joe raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I meant."

"Look, man, if you have any issues with this..."

"I don't have any bloody issues." Gwilym scolded. "Now, get in the car."

Both boys collapsed into their seats and looked at Lizzie through the rearview mirror, obliviously scrolling through her phone. Her face softly illuminated by the white glow of the screen. She blinked slowly, as if falling asleep.

"Where to, Miss Daisy?" Gwilym asked and smiled softly when she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Home, please." She smiled sweetly. "Is it alright if I stole Joe?"

Gwilym knew this was coming but he still felt a small pang of jealousy in his gut. He glanced over at Joe's drunk, pleading face and nodded with a sigh, starting the engine.

"Well then," Lizzie smiled mischievously, "onwards, noble steed! Take me home!"

###

"You're so fucking hot." Joe whispered in between feverish kisses. He had Lizzie pressed up against the front door to her flat, his knee parting her legs. "Goddamn."

"Let's go inside, then?" She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him expectantly.

Joe replied with a low growl. Lizzie giggled and turned around, quickly unlocking the door and stumbling in. Joe pressed himself up behind her, his hands travelling everywhere they could reach on her body. He kicked the door shut behind him and released his hold on Lizzie's body, allowing her to turn and face him. He caught her lips, nibbling and biting on them. His hands worked their way down her torso and gave her bum a hearty squeeze.

"Eager, are we?" Lizzie laughed.

"It's been awhile." Joe admitted sheepishly. "And you're so fucking hot, I..."

Lizzie crashed her lips onto his.

###

Joe woke up at the crack of dawn, feeling like a rat died in his mouth and a horse kicked him in the head. He took in his surroundings, letting the night's memories flood back in. Ben's birthday party. Picking Gwil's friend up. Lizzie. Dancing. Making out. Gwilym's mood on the ride to Lizzie's place. Making out again. Hooking up.

He turned his head to the side and took in the sight of Lizzie's naked body next to him. She wasn't curled up next to him - she was spread out in all her naked glory, her soft red curls veiling her breasts like a nymph. With a sigh, he rolled over and pawed at the floor, looking for his boxers. When he finally found them, he groggily stepped into them and pulled them up, walking towards the door. Nature called.

He rubbed his eye sleepily as he left her bedroom and closed the door behind him, and collided with another person.

The realization made him shudder. There is a strange woman looking at his almost totally naked body, and she was hot and smirking.

"And to whom do I owe the pleasure?" she drawled, her voice like honey.

"I, uh -" Joe tried to shake the embarrassment off and stood up straighter. "I'm Joe."

"Hello, Joe. I'm Shelly."

"Shelly." Joe echoed, a dopey smile on his face.

"What are you doing in my home and where are your clothes, Joe?" Shelly looked him up and down. She seemed pleased with the sight. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Well," Joe gulped, "I'm... See, last night -"

"Elizabeth McGee!" Shelly roared. "Lizzie!"

"Shhh!" Joe leaped forward and placed his palm on her lips, muffling her bellows. "What the fuck?!"

Shelly looked at him challengingly, one eyebrow raised. They stared each other down before she poked her tongue out and licked Joe's palm.

"Ew!" Joe flinched and pulled his hand back. "But also, good thinking!"

"Thank you!" Shelly bit her bottom lip. "The bathroom's that way."

"Uh, thanks." He said, confused at her abruptness. She looked down at Joe's crotch and noticed a prominent bulge. He felt heat flood his chest, all the way up to his ears. A gorgeous woman stared at his bulge and all he could do was stand there. "This isn't awkward at all."

"On the contrary, mate." Shelly winked at him. "I'm enjoying myself."

"Yeah?" A cocky smirk tugged at Joe's lips.

"Yeah." Shelly stepped closer to him and put a hand on his cheek. "Too bad Lizzie's the one who saw you first."

Her hand slipped down the column of his neck and to his chest before she dragged it across as she left and disappeared into her bedroom, closing the door behind her softly.

##########

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