Happy holidays, everyone!
The 2024 Naruto calendar is now officially released! Everyone worked really hard on this so be sure to check it out!!!
This year, we have multiple versions available for you to download and/or print: desktop versions (with week starting on Monday and Sunday) and print at home versions (both A4 and letter size, with Monday and Sunday start week options).
We even have a phone/mobile version this year, made up of another 12 artworks, which you can check out here!
Be sure to check out all the versions available here.
And of course, here is the AO3 collection with the fics.
And a big thank you to all the contributors this year! Please be sure to drop by their socials and check them out :D
(see below for contributors on tumblr!)
Phone art: @crueltupperware
Jan: @succikko-draws (art), @super-kame-love (fic)
Feb: @nucipheram (art), @hkandiu (fic)
Mar: @depressedhatakekakashi (fic)
Apr: @spellcasterlight (fic)
May: @hyphen1582 (art), @alumort (fic)
Jun: @saku-rhyth (art), @gerardwayissexah (fic)
Aug: @vannahfanfics (fic)
Sep: @animetrashmuffin (art), @xenea-aesthetic (fic)
Oct: @sugarrfrog (art), @naturally-meek (fic)
Nov: @sorasattou (art), @punk-pandame (fic)
Dec: @jycc56 (art), @breeebly (fic)
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There was only one bed - Horny Akatsuki Edition
request by @takhidk 🤍
SOFT NSFW

Deidara:
-is completely speechless when he finds out there is only one bed at the inn during your mission together
-acts cocky though, telling you not to make a move on him
-he’s the first one to make a move, saying the bed is too small (he is literally 5’5” lmao) as he scoots closer to you
-you tease him about it and he tells you to shut up, his cheeks red
-he’s never had sex before but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with his enthusiasm
-you have to tell him that his hands are a gift, and how to use them, but he’s very happy to comply
-‘wouldn’t it be better to make the bed explode when I make you cum, hm?’ he asks, and you look at him, eyes wide
-‘no, Deidara. Unless you want this to never happen again’
-‘fine’
Obito:
-can’t believe himself. He hasn’t slept in the same bed with anyone ever
-decides to play dumb with his Tobi persona, hugging you like a pillow
-in reality, bro is dying to have you close to him
-after a while, though, he gets quite worked up, and decides he’ll have his fun with you. He can tell you want him by the way you casually move your ass against him, as if he couldn’t notice
-he blindfolds you and takes off his mask, starting to kiss your neck, letting his voice drop to his normal tone
-‘you know what happens to little things like you who poke the rattlesnake, right?’
Hidan:
-As soon as he sees there’s only one bed, he’s all for it
-‘I bet you asked for one bed, huh? Guess I’m just irresistible’ he grins cockily
-‘Yeah, right’ you say, rolling your eyes, though you have to admit he is hot.
-‘Let’s fuck’ he says, as forward as always. You stare at him, swallowing painfully
-When you hesitate, Hidan practically throws you on the bed, ripping the cloak off of you and licking your exposed chest
-‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have some fun, you and I’ he says, pulling your shirt up and starting to suck on your nipples, a bit too rough, but the pain soon mixes with the pleasure
Itachi:
-blinks and stands in the doorway, looking at the double bed. ‘There must have been a misunderstanding. I will solve it, don’t worry’ he says, disappearing towards the reception. You kind of hope they won’t have any other rooms, although the idea of sleeping with Itachi is both hot and terrifying
-when he comes back, he does not look too happy
-‘I am deeply sorry about this. They do not have any other rooms. I will sleep on the chair’ he says, removing his cloak as he goes in. You do the same, and you don’t fail to catch his eyes on you for a split second. As you get into bed, you stare at him, sucking in your lips
-‘Sleep on the bed, Itachi’ you say after a while. He looks at you, his throat bobbing before he slowly gets up and crawls under the blanket, staring at you. He wants to touch you, but it would be inappropriate. He can’t get himself to move. And yet, when you move closer to him and push your ass against him, he can’t contain himself and wraps a hand around your waist, pulling you closer
-‘Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Let me indulge you, then’ he says, his hand slipping under your shorts as he starts to kiss your neck languidly
Pain:
-Is quite pissed off that he was not given two rooms, but when he looks at you, he can’t help but think this must have been fate
-and after all, he hasn’t had that chance in so long
-he saw the way you looked at him, with a blush on your cheeks and suggestive eyes
-‘lie down’ he says, tone authoritative, ‘and take off your clothes’
-you can’t believe your ears. Though when Pain gives you a meaningful look, you quickly do as he says, though you’re blushing and trembling with anticipation
-‘let’s make the most of this unfortunate situation, shall we?’ he says, running his hands on your thighs, splaying them open for him and staring at you with those hypnotic eyes
Kakuzu:
-is fuming at first. No one can mock him like this
-after that, though, he’s quite pleased with himself
-‘Less money to pay like this. We will do this from now on’
-‘Uhm… Kakuzu? Where are you going to sleep?’
-‘On the bed. I am going to get my money’s worth, brat’ he says, removing his headband and mask. You look at him, suddenly hyperaware. He’s… good-looking. For a 90-year old guy, he’s handsome
-when you shift slightly to find a comfortable position on the mattress, black tendrils catch your wrists and you find yourself tied up
-‘You’re a handful. Do not move’ he says, hovering above you. You think he’s going to knock you out cold, but instead, he positions himself between your legs
-‘I don’t want to hear a sound. Or else’
Kisame:
-laughs it off when you’re embarrassed that there’s only one bed
-‘I suppose there’s nothing to be done. Might as well get comfortable’ he says, taking off his cloak and his shirt. You stare at him, your lips parting at the muscles on his body
-‘It’s not a shop window. You can look and touch, if you want’ he says with a sharp grin
-You blush, nevertheless getting closer to him, until your hand is resting on his chest
-His large hands easily lift you up from your waist as he holds you against him until you have to wrap your legs around his hips
-‘I didn’t even need the bed, but since we’re here…’ he says, lowering you on the mattress and grinning as he unfastens your cloak
Sasori:
-‘I don’t need to sleep anyway’ he says, sitting at the desk and turning the lamp on as he starts tinkering with one of his puppets
-You frown, lying down on the bed. The noise of screwdrivers and nails clattering on the desk is pissing you off, and you decide to see if he really is a puppet who doesn’t feel anything at all
-you move your hand between your legs, underneath your underwear
-‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice smooth, but he doesn’t turn around
-‘nothing’ you say, smirking slightly and gasping softly as you start to touch yourself on the bed.
-‘rude’ he says, and when you try to move, your hands are frozen. When you look at him, there are chakra strings connecting his hands to yours
-‘I suppose I can play with you instead of my puppets tonight’
Konan:
-Blushes when she sees that there’s only one bed and asks you if you want her to look for a different inn
-you tentatively tell her it’s okay
-when you two get into bed, you keep glancing at each other, and you keep looking at that piercing underneath her lip, wondering what it would be like to kiss her and feel it against your lips
-when she moves, you’re frozen in place
-her lips are soft and you do feel the coldness of the metal on your bottom lip, but it’s quite a nice feeling
-Konan gets on top of you, continuing to make out with you, neither of you saying anything as you start to undress each other
-literally the most normal experience you’re gonna get in the Akatsuki, and she’s stunning too! Go you
Zetsu:
-watches you sleep like a creep
-sorry, I got nothing on this “guy”
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Top 5 fucked up things that happend in Naruto?
This lived in my drafts for quite a while as I went back and forth with just a top five. I don't think this is in any particular order, because good god these people have suffered. Also, please note that I haven't read or watched Boruto and know nothing about it, so whatever atrocities occur there are mysteries to me.
That time Rin committed suicide by jumping into Kakashi's Chidori, then everyone started calling him Friend Killer Kakashi and even he believes he murdered his teammate in cold blood for the good of the village.
When Minato decided to make his minutes-old son the Kyuubi container and then swiftly leave him as an orphan, and Hiruzen thought the best thing to do would be to let the village terrorize him and leave him without the protection of his powerful, beloved parents' legacies.
Nagato going off the deep end after Yahiko got murdered and deciding to use his dead bestie's body as one of his paths, forcing Konan (who may or may not have been romantically linked with Yahiko, but at the very least was another childhood best friend) to interact with his corpse for years to come as Nagato's real body rotted in the basement.
Orochimaru's whole child experimentation/abduction/murder/body snatching extravaganza is just...horrific. He truly is a plague upon the elemental nations, and I believe if Tobirama were Hokage when Orochimaru started to get weird, he would have been put down like a mad dog. Maybe Minato would have tried to do it had he lived long enough, too.
You can't have a list of fucked up Naruto things without mentioning the obvious Uchiha massacre. Village-sanctioned genocide perpetuated by a 13-year-old family member and his insane cousin masquerading as their equally-insane ancestor is some dark shit, and that's not even getting to the other related factors (re: eyeball snatching, the Sasuke of it all, Divine Intervention via moon goddess planting the seeds of it happening at all).
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