#Nesta Acheron angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

milswrites · 1 month

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We can't be friends

Cassian X Reader

Summary: Cassian had been distant. While he was still physically present around you, it was easy to see his mind was elsewhere. When you learn of the reason why this rift has appeared between you, you must make the difficult decision to step away from the man you once loved.

Warnings: Angsttttt

Notes: We've had our Rhysand breakup angst, it’s now time for Cassian's!!! Anyone else had Ariana Grande’s new album on their mind like 24/7? Stole the name from her song lol.

Cassian’s mind was wandering again. You could see it. Able to tell that he wasn’t mentally present by his blank expression and misty absent-minded gaze. His usually bright hazel eyes bore a dull film, as if someone had draped a cloudy vail over them.

You needn’t ask him what he was thinking of. Who he was thinking of. It had been clear enough to you that his thoughts had been occupied by the eldest Acheron sister from the moment he had met her in the mortal realm.

He would deny it of course, every time you brought the topic up with him he would spit some venomous comment about her poor attitude and the lack of love she held for her younger sister.

But you needn’t be a seer to observe what was going on here. It was as through fate that you had been cruelly blessed with the ability to see the golden thread which tied him to the woman.

Whether Nesta was oblivious to the bond or was just opting to ignore it you did not know. But you were sure Cassian knew. In fact you had never been more positive of anything in your life.

What you couldn’t understand was why would Cassian go about his life as though the bond wasn’t there? Why, at the end of each night, would he come back to your chambers to warm your bed?

The male continuing to crawl into your sheets after a long days work, whispering sweet nothings into your ears as he cradled you to sleep, acting as though nothing was different. As though you couldn’t feel the grating presence of the bond.

Most nights you stayed awake as the man slept beside you. Your miserable eyes trailing along the length of the golden cord, following the string as it wound its way out of your room. No doubt if you followed it’s path you would end up right outside the door of Nesta’s flat.

So why was Cassian still drifting you along even though he had met his mate? And how much longer would you have to wait before the inevitable occurred?

These thoughts had plagued your mind for the past few weeks. Eating away at you as they slowly stole your happiness. Instead, an odd feeling of guilt wracked your body. The evil whisper of your conscience telling you that you were the third-wheel. The one thing stopping Cassian from being with his mate. That you should do the noble thing and end your relationship. That it was what he would want.

You defensively hiss back at your demons whenever they took a hold of your mind, reassuring yourself that Cassian loved you. That he still chose to warm your bed every night. Silently hoping that the only reason he hadn’t told you about the bond was because he didn’t want to worry you. That he didn’t want you to question the unwavering affection he held for you.

And yet you always found yourself back here.

In the company of the male whose mind was in another place. With another person. Finding yourself once more having a one sided conversation with yourself. Cassian only occasionally offering up a small grunt of acknowledgement.

His glazed eyes which stayed locked on your form, no doubt imagining a different view. A picture of the woman he was dreaming about. A woman that wasn’t you.

It began to feel like there was a ghost in your relationship. Only you couldn’t figure out whether it was you or Cassian.

Cassian who had become a shell of the man he had once been around you.

Or you, who now struggled to be both heard and seen by the man you had devoted the last three centuries of your life to.

The once overwhelming surge of radiating joy had dimmed. A candle, struggling to stay alight as it consumed the last dregs of fuel from the wick. The flame between the two of you now fading into a dull flicker.

Your heart no longer skipped a beat whenever you saw the male. Instead it weighed heavy in your chest, as if clamped by a strong metal hand, choking the last remnants of happiness from your soul, flooding your body with a terrible sense of dread.

This wasn’t the way you wanted to live.

You knew that much. You were smart enough to know that you didn’t want to be the second option. The afterthought, even though you had known the male longer, had loved him for longer.

Therefore you knew what had to be done. Yet after sharing three hundred joyous years with the male you couldn’t be blamed for struggling to find the strength to do it.

~~~~~

But you could feel it now. The strength seeping into your body, fighting to share the room alongside your agony and grief. Mourning your relationship before it has even come to a close.

It was hard to ignore the way your hands had begun to shake. Nor the drying of your throat as you blurted out the words before you could stop yourself and cowardly continue on with the relationship which had began to drain you of the last of your happiness.

“We need to talk.”

The words came out thick and heavy. The change in the tone of your voice from your monotonous dialogue to this statement being enough to capture Cassian’s attention. The absent clouds drifting from his eyes until your determined ones were met with his hazel orbs.

“I thought we were talking?”

The male gulped as he spoke, clearly feeling the unsettling aura which filled the room. All your years together being enough for Cassian to know the gravity of what you were about to say.

“Why are you still here Cas? With me?”

“W-what?” He stuttered in answer, your eyes searching his as you tried to distinguish whether he knew what it was you were talking about. Fear building in your chest at the realisation you were going to have to say it yourself before this conversation led to nothing.

“Nesta, Cassian. The bond.”

He didn’t know. All this time he had been unaware of your silent heartbreak. You saw the truth of it in the way his face dropped, the extinguishing of the spark in his eyes.

“How long?” He gulped, guilt crossing his expression as he forced the words out. His cheeks flushing in shame that he hadn’t been the one to tell you.

“Weeks? Months? Long enough to question why you’re still with me.”

Cassian didn’t know what to say. He started at you with a crushing remorse, the glint of love in his eyes doing nothing to reduce your pain.

“I’m not a fool Cas,” you smiled sadly at your own unfortunate situation, his name catching in your throat as you reached your hand forwards to lay atop of his, “you want to be with her, I know that.”

A pained look flashed across his face, his eyes burning with self-hatred failing to meet yours in his regret. You allowed him the time for his emotions to settle, sitting in silence as you continued to grip his hand.

Eventually, once his flood of shame subsided, Cassian found the words to speak, “All I’ve ever known is you. All I’ve ever loved. I’ve never known anything else.”

“I know Cas” you flinched at the earnesty which laced his words. Cassian had never given you any reason to believe he didn’t love you. Even now, when his heart was calling to another, you still felt the outpouring of love from his soul.

“It’s not fair,” he grit through his teeth angrily, “you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me. I’m the one who can’t control my feelings, my thoughts which dream of another. You don’t deserve this.”

“I don’t” you said simply. Your face remaining blank as tears began to fall down the males cheeks. You have had months to cry about your lost love, there would be no more tears shed by you. Not now, not when your well had run dry.

“We can still be friends though right? You’ve been in my life for so long I can’t imagine it without you” he choked the words out as if he wasn’t the one who had already ended things between you. He never had to say the words to you, his actions and his heart did all the talking for him.

“No Cas,” you shake your head solemnly, “we can’t be friends.”

The male looked to you in shock, his eyes blowing wide as he took in the force of your words. What this would mean for the two of you, for your future together. Or lack thereof.

“It’s not fair Cas,” you reason, giving his hands a gentle squeeze, emotions still holding firm in the face of adversity, “not to me and not to Nesta. We both know what needs to be done. We both have for a while.”

“But I love you” he fights your calm demeanour, his watery eyes staring into yours with an intensity, begging you to take back the words you were saying.

“We can’t go back to being us Cas, it’s too late for that. The damage has been done,” you lift your free hand to settle against his cheek, thumb wiping away the downpour of tears, “but with Nesta, with your mate, you have a chance. You should go for it. Follow your heart.”

“I’ll never forget you” he stubbornly argues, adamant that he can have everything he wants. Nesta by his side and you in his life. His love blinding him, allowing his selfish wishes to be spoken aloud.

“I think for both our sakes forgetting each other may be our best option baby.”

You couldn’t help it, the silver tear which escaped your eye, betraying the cold emotions you were trying to display on the outside, your thumb still caressing his cheeks as your eyes flittered across his face. Taking in everything that was Cassian for what would be the last time.

“That’s what I’m going to do,” you cried, “I’m sorry Cas but it’s the only way. I have to forget.”

It was the acceptance that was the hardest part of all. The admission that while you weren’t Cassian’s once in a lifetime, he was yours. And it was your love for him that would allow you to let him go. Your will for him to be happy, outweighing the pain of seeing him in another woman’s arms.

#cassian oneshot #cassian imagine #cassian x reader #cassian #acotar imagine #acotar #fanfic #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses

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acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies · 3 months

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Masterlist + how to request

18+ = * angst = + fluff = >

Acotar:

Nyx Acheron: Mine * Misogyny >

Azriel: Tolerate It + Opposite+ Opposite (part two) + > Safe Word* > Babies > Flowers (Part I) | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V Sacrifices (upcoming)

Rhysand: Innocent *

Cassian: You Belong With Me (upcoming)

Lucien: Scars and All + >

Helion:

Eris:

Nesta:

Feyre:

Elain:

Archeron sisters headcanon:

Fourth Wing:

Xaden:

Liam:

Garrick: Worship (upcoming)

Bodhi: Missed You * >

Brennan: Perfect (upcoming) Bruises

Percy Jackson (the show):

Percy: Life Lately

Annabeth:

Luke: How you get the girl (smau) How you get the girl pt2 smau The Lucky One smau Love Bite (smau)

Clarisse

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED !!

my school has started and i have way too many drafts so i’ll slowly finish them throughout the term and then in the holidays the requests will reopen

i have a bunch of extra classes and am in a shit ton of advanced classes 😭 so i prolly won’t have time to write much.

you can still chat to me tho!

How to request:

Head to the request/ask anything tab and please specify if it's a request

State the character and your ask

for anons: add your anon emoji (if u want to ofc)

I currently write for:

ACOTAR (Azriel, Cassian, Rhysand, Eris, Lucien, Nyx, Nesta, Feyre, Elain) Fourth Wing (Garrick, Bodhi, Brennan, Xaden, Rhiannon, Imogen, Liam) PJO (Percy, Luke, Annabeth, Clarisse)

Prompt Lists:

Fluff prompt list Angst prompt list Smut prompt list

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achaotichuman · 5 months

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Hello everyone, I am A Chaotic Human, or Asher, this is my fanatic blog dedicated to Acotar. My pronouns are He/Him/His. My side-blog is @achaotichuman2-0

This account is Pro-Palestine, call for a permanent ceasefire in Palestine. Free the lands that have been occupied for 75+ years.

Most of my posts are my stupid little headcanons for Acotar and my one-shots/fanfictions. I'll also rant quite a bit on here about the general BS in Acotar. If you are a Rhysand stan, do not interact, because this is no Rhysand safe space, though I do write Tamlin/Rhysand, but that is usually in regard to Rhysand and Tamlin having had a past relationship, or I write Rhysand in my honey-eyed fanon version.

If you want some quality Tamlin content, complete with Tamcien, Tamsand, and whatever else you want me to write, this is the place to be. If you have any prompts about Acotar you want me to write, or you just wanna chat, just shoot me an ask or a direct message! Note- Prompts can take anywhere from a month to longer for me to write, sometimes longer, cause work, school, life and stuff.

Works on Ao3-

A Court of Song and Desolation-

The Spring Court is in ruins, and Tamlin lives with the ghostly memories that haunt his broken, forgotten manor. Lucien cannot and will not stand for the idea of leaving him there to rot. After bringing Tamlin to the mortal lands, they begin to unveil a darkness that is targeting the Spring Lord and may rewrite their way of life as they know it.

-Not completed. Set to have 70 chapters. Includes, Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra, Azriel/Eris Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian.

How Nesta Archeron Learned to Trap A Beast-

Nesta leaves the Night Court for the Mortal Lands after they attempt to trap her with the male she loathes. After travelling through Summer, she finds the Spring Court and is determined to make it through to her old home. Tamlin is on the brink of ending it, but when the eldest Archeron sister comes marching through his lands, he finds a new reason to keep going.

-Not completed. Set to have 6 chapters. Includes, Nesta Archeron/Tamlin.

The Dog Days Are Over-

A gift for @shi-daisy for writing the beautiful A Court of Threads & Daises. The Spring festival is upon the Ambrose family. Joy and celebration is in the air, but this festival is a little different to any other. Amarantha is no longer looming on the lands and the people are free to celebrate as they wish, they are no longer weighed down by her sadistic hand, or by a curse. The dog days are over.

-Completed. 1 chapter. Includes the original ships of A Court of Threads and Daises.

A Game Never Worth Playing-

Their mating bond has been ignored for too long and Eris is finally and fully fed up with it. He marches into Spring and demands that Tamlin finally make a decision.

-Completed. 2 chapters. Includes Tamlin/Eris Vanserra.

Melodies In The Dark-

A snippet of what occurred UTM before Feyre came back to save Prythian. Tamlin misses the sun, when he sees Lucien again for the first time in weeks, he realizes his sun was Under the Mountain with him all along.

-Completed. 1 chapter. Includes Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra, Tamlin/Rhysand.

The One True High Lord

Even after everyone expected Nesta Archeron, the eldest of the Night Court Heirs would take the throne, Feyre Acheron has been chosen by the Cauldron. With her new precarious position, and resistance against women in power in the Night Court, Feyre decides to ask an old friend to turn her male. Now High Lord of the Night Court. Feyre explores the ins and outs of ruling and finds drama waiting for her in the hands of a beautiful stranger.

This was based of Tumblr Prompt but I turned into an AU

-Not completed. Set to have 4 chapter. Includes Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Morrigan, Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra.

Citrus Tears, Sour Souls

I went on an angst kick and uploaded some angsty oneshots to Tumblr, this is them collected on Ao3.

-Not completed. Includes Lucien/Elain Archeron, Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra, Eris Vanserra & The Lady of the Autumn Court.

A Field Of Dahlias

Finally free of the Mountain and Amarantha's grip on the people. The Spring Court is scrambling to get back to normal. With their wedding not far away, Tamlin is struggling to keep his Court from falling into disarray. When he starts to get sick things begin to take a turn for the worse and worser.

When Feyre is taken by the Lord of Night, it doesn't look like anything it can get any worse. With his life experience Tamlin should know that things can always get worse.

-Not completed. Set to have 5 chapters. Includes Feyre Archeron/Tamlin, Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra, Ianthe/Elain Archeron, Nesta Archeron/Eris Vanserra.

Heaven Help A Fool Who Falls In Love

Tamlin mumbled something too quiet for Lucien to catch, the Fox chuckled, and pressed his forehead to Tamlin’s, “What was that, pretty boy?”

Tamlin breathed a laugh, “Pretty boy?”

Lucien bit down on his lip, trying to contain his grin, he was unsuccessful, “Yes, pretty boy.”

“Okay, handsome man.” Tamlin replied.

Tamlin gets sick, and Lucien takes care of him.

-Completed. 1 chapter. Includes Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra.

Tumblr Oneshots-

Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra-

Hallow's eve is upon Prythian. But what Court has the best scares? Autumn or Spring. Lucien is the judge and Tamlin is determined to win.

Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra-

When Tamlin is fighting his magic, and Lucien takes care of him.

Tamlin/Rhysand-

Rhysand pushes Tamlin too far at a ball. Tamlin finally snaps and gives him what he deserves.

Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra-

Modern!Au, Lucien has a motorcycle, he gives his boyfriend a ride. Tamlin is in love.

Tamlin/Rhysand & Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra-

Rhysand is still hung over Tamlin even centuries after their fallout. Lucien isn't letting him anywhere near his High lord.

Tamlin/Rhysand-

Rhysand blames Tamlin, but who's left to blame if Tamlin isn't there?

Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra & Elain Archeron/Gwyneth Berdara-

Lucien is drawing further and further away from Elain. Elain wants to know why.

Tamlin/Rhysand-

Tamlin finally gives Rhysand a reality check, so naturally Rhysand does the next logical thing, and attempts to court him.

Tamlin Oneshot-

Tamlin is stuck in a time loop of reliving his life over and over. An old friend comes to lead him into the afterlife. Tamlin finally lets himself go with her.

Tamlin/Rhysand-

Rhysand meets a beautiful female at a ball in the Hewn City. She runs away before he can get her name. He is still in love a year later, and finally meets her again, but who was she really...

Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra-

Lucien loves reading. He can't anymore because the clicking of his metal eye drives him insane. Tamlin decides to step in and help.

Tamlin & Jesminda

Jesminda is simply trying to enjoy a beautiful day, then, because the Gods apparently hate her, a problem falls from the sky and into her life.

Five times Lucien Vanserra proposed to Tamlin, one time Tamlin said yes

Exactly what the title says, five times Tamlin rejected Lucien's proposal, one time he accepted.

A rewrite of Feyre’s death Under the Mountain.

Feyre awakening from her near death experience in a slightly more realistic manner.

Thunderstorms- Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra

Lucien is afraid of thunderstorms; Tamlin helps him through one. Or Tamcien fluff.

Eris Vanserra

Eris' home has never been a safe place; or Eris Vanserra angst.

The Mother's Least Favourite Son

Elain decides to reject the mating bond, and what Lucien becomes after.

Worthless Man

Tamlin is difficult to understand, even harder to love.

The Last Time He Cried

Finding peace in the after world- A continuation of The Mother's Least Favourite Son, but you do not need to read it to understand this one.

Eris Vanserra

Eris has a not good, very bad, horrible day.

Tamlin Week 2024

This is the list of my oneshots for Tamlin Week 2024, I decided to make them their own section with links to both the Tumblr post and Ao3 work for them!

Day1- Kidnapped By The Faery Queen

Link for Tumblr Post and the Link for Ao3 work

It was a terrible decision, as then the wolves pounced.

Tamlin tried to duck down, screaming. Hoping someone equally as stupid as him had come out here during the night, hopefully with an axe or a mace. A large claw descended on him, and Tamlin screamed again as it slashed his abdomen. Blood poured from his stomach. Soaking his clothes. The four were on him, a pile of raw flesh for the taking. There was nothing he could do as he felt teeth sink into his arm, preparing to pierce flesh.

Then a roar more powerful than any of the snarling wolves shattered the night sky.

The large furred heads of the wolves jutted up, ears falling back, completely flat. The roar echoed again, similar to a snarled warning. They began to whimper and whine.

Then it appeared, and Tamlin felt all the blood drain from his face.

A character reversal AU, where Tamlin is mortal and in Feyre's position. And Feyre is the High Lady of Spring who needs a human to break her curse.

Day2- The Ghost Of The One That Got Away

Link for Tumblr post and the Link for Ao3 work

“Well?” Rhysand asked.

“Well…?” Tamlin repeated.

“You said you needed to practise for your performance. So,” Rhysand leaned back on the heels of his hands, “Practice.”

Confusion lined Tamlin’s soft golden features. He tilted his head ever so slightly, “What?”

Nodding his head once more to the instrument in Tamlin’s hands, Rhysand repeated, “Practise for me.”

“I- Are you sure?” Tamlin seemed to clutch the fiddle closer to him, “It’s not all that good, I-”

“Tamlin.” Rhysand’s voice lowered in pitch, “I want to hear you play.”

Rhysand walks in on Tamlin practicing for a performance. What happened after... well who was to blame him for falling in love on the spot?

Day3- Hedonism

Link for Tumblr post and the Link for Ao3 post

Lucien whispered, “I hate that I couldn’t make it all stop. I hate that I couldn’t help you.”

“I hate that I made it so hard for you.” Tamlin murmured back, “I hate that in the end you even stopped yelling at me. You used to do that everyday.”

For once, a smile slipped over Lucien’s face. One pure and real and genuine.

“We haven’t lost it all.” Lucien said, sitting back down, “We aren’t all gone.”

“What else can we do?” Tamlin asked.

Lucien didn’t respond as he took another shot. Tamlin followed suit. As he did his head spun and the light in his eyes swam.

Then he felt a pair of hot hands on his shoulders, making him turn to face Lucien. The male seemed closer than before. As if he had moved his chair across to be nearer.

“I remember your hair.” Lucien whispered into the space between them, “I remember how much you liked me brushing it, or braiding it, or weaving flowers into it.”

Tamlin has never been good with words. Much less relationships, of any kind at all.

He doesn't know how to fix this; he doesn't know if there's any possibility of this being fixed.

But he has to try, for the man that is everything he's ever needed. He will try.

Day4- Mama's Boy

Link for Tumblr post and the Link for Ao3 work

“Is it the same rock for every High lord?” Lucien asked. Tamlin groaned loudly and Alis had to step away, lest her snickering led her to messing the paint up. Not that it would be perfect for very long tonight.

“Yes, Lucien.” Tamlin answered.

“Gods.” The fox murmured, “How was that the first time? I don’t think I could fuck in the exact same place I knew my father did.” As he said the words, Lucien visibly shuddered at the thought. To which Andras cackled.

But Tamlin didn’t laugh, stuck on what Lucien said to laugh.

How was that the first time?

On the evening of Calanmai, Tamlin remembers the first time he ever performed the ritual.

Day5- Marry Me

Link to Tumblr post and the Link to Ao3 work

As the music in the air swirled and the people began to dance a heartbeat quicker, Tamlin looked over at Lucien. All beauty and dashing, charming face with sweet eyes, a soft flicker in that burning amber. His gaze sweeping over the work that had been made up for him.

Tamlin cleared his throat and Lucien looked back at him. Holding out his hand, the High lord asked, “My Lord, may I have this dance?”

Slowly, the softest smile that the male could have ever bestowed to him appeared on Lucien’s face. He took his hand gracefully, murmuring, “You may.”

With what he was sure was the same smile echoed on his own features, Tamlin swept Lucien onto the dancefloor. And all of a sudden, it was just them in the world.

Tamlin has been wanting to marry Lucien for two years. Now he finally decides to propose.

Hopefully everything goes smoothly.

Day6- How Easy It Is To Worship You

Link to Tumblr post and the Link to Ao3 work

Lucien shifted, he leaned on his elbow, so he could see over at Tamlin’s face. He started running his fingers through Tamlin’s curls, “Do what?”

“Why…” Tamlin squeezed his eyes shut, “Why do you keep trying to take care of me? Why do you keep trying to love me?”

To Tamlin’s surprise Lucien chuckled, “there's no ‘trying’. I love you, and I want to take care of you. It's as simple as that.”

Tamlin manoeuvred himself so he was laying flat on his back and staring up at Lucien. He tried to search his face for insincerity but only found a look of pure unfiltered love.

“Why? Why do you love me? I’ve never given you a reason to.” Tamlin stared into those deep never-ending amber flames, as his words poured out of his throat. Some kind of dam breaking.

“Tamlin-”

Tamlin has a nightmare, reimagining his past and his mistakes. Lucien comforts him, and helps him through his negative spiral.

And here is a list of other Pro Tamlin creators and their fiction if you are interested in reading from others but don't know where to start!

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secretlynestaarcheron · 4 years

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Writing for Angstmas, send me sad prompts for Nesta and Cassian :)

#angst #angstmas #nesta acheron #cassian #nessian #nesta and cassian #feyre archeron #nesta x cassian #sjmaas #acotar #a court of wings and ruin #acowar

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hauntedwitch04 · 2 years

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Hey! Can I request and ACOTAR Nyx x Fae!Reader where they don’t like eachother but after in the middle of an argument (with a lot of tension) the mating bond clicks for Nyx and he runs off. They the resolve it and admit they actually like eachother as well as the mating bond clicking for the reader.

It would be great if it had fluff a hint of angst - smut is up to you, don’t do it if your uncomfortable. Thank you <3

Amantium irae amoris integratio est

The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love

Nyx x Reader

Words: about 3.1k words

Warnings: mention of blood, cussing, ANGST, a little bit of smut at the end

Author’s note: Hi! I really liked your idea, and it came to my mind this oneshot. It came out longer than I thought it was. Hope you like it!

My mastelist

Taglist

Y/N’s POV

It’s been years since I started training with the Valkirias. I was really young at the time, and I was alone, while now I have a family. I’m an Illyrian, and I lived in a small village near Windhaven, in a small house with my family: my parents and my two sisters. I was the older one and I usually helped my mother with the housekeeping. One night someone entered our house and killed my parents. My mother screamed at me to hide my sister and I, before getting killed. I never managed to get out of my mind the blood that seeped out of my mother’s neck, after that man slipped her throat. The village leaders never investigated who did it, and we unfortunately hadn't seen his face. We went to live with our aunt, who always lived in our village, not far from where we were. She was terrible, doing everything but treating us with love and respect. Years went by, I accepted the abuse of that terrible woman in order to have a house to live in, if not for me at least for my sisters, until my first bleeding came, which marked the end of everything. My aunt wanted to clip my wings off, following Illryrian traditions, however fortunately he was able to escape into the woods with my sisters before he succeeded. The men of the village chased us and after a real hunt in the woods they managed to kill my sisters. I couldn't even run, taking their bodies with me, so I had to leave them there. I had never felt dirtier in my life than the moment I stopped the blood soaked bodies of my little sisters on the ground as I ran through the trees. To this day I still feel guilty for that act, for not being a good enough sister, for letting them die.

I eventually arrived in Windhaven, sweaty and covered in blood, and I wasn't looking where I was going when I was met by none other than General Cassian and his wife Nesta. Immediately she had fallen to her knees before them, praying for their help. The woman had knelt down next to me and asked me what had happened, so I had tried to tell her the story through sobs and tears. She looked at me with compassion, while her husband seemed to become increasingly angry with my attackers. As soon as I had finished telling the story, the same men from the woods who had followed me had emerged from the forest, claiming the right to cut off my wings. The General had kindly told his wife to take me inside to a house not far away, and to give me some water and clean clothes. As the woman and I walked towards that building I heard the cries of pain of those men, so I tried to turn around but she held me down with an arm on my shoulder, telling me not to look. Since that day I have been under the protection of Nesta Acheron and her husband Cassian.

After a few months, Nesta had taken the ride of training me with the Valkyrie, saying a little coaching wouldn't hurt. Now I'm one of the strongest warriors, and every night I dream of the day when I'll be able to return to the place where I was born and avenge my family, but for now there are too many ghosts inhabiting my past. In addition to training me, Nesta had also taught me how to read and write. I always saw her as a mother figure, as she always treated me as if I were her own daughter, and this was noticed and appreciated by the other members of the Dream Court, who liked to see her so loving and kind to someone. The only one who didn't appreciate her attention for me was Nyx, who was previously her aunt's ward, who now saw his position taken away by me.

Nyx is a little older than me, but that certainly doesn't make him act any more mature, as he seems to be a five year old during our discussions, which happen very frequently. I can't deny that he's an attractive guy, with his purple eyes and black hair with purple highlights, like his father's, but it drives me crazy when he always wants to be right about everything, or he starts insulting me just because he's jealous that I'm better at something. There's always been a bit of rivalry between us, and Nesta seems to like that because it keeps us focused on doing our best, even if it often leads to fights or arguments between us.

Azriel and Cassian seem to like it too, because every time they send us on a mission or make us train together, but after the last time Rhysand forbade the use of weapons while we are both around, because in a moment of anger I passed the blade over Nyx's head, making him understand that if I wanted to hit him I would have done it, but it was a little too close and I ended up spiking his hair.

But back to today.

"No, I refuse to go on a mission with her. That's all I'll say." says Nyx getting up from the table after Cassian announced a new mission, which only he and I have to participate in.

"Stop complaining boy. This is your father's and my choice, and if I were you I wouldn't upset him after yesterday's recent events." Affirms the General.

"I've already apologized to him five times for breaking that pen, he won't still be mad at me I hope! It was a fucking pen!"

"Language Nyx, try to keep it appropriate to where we're talking." Nesta picks it up, sitting next to her husband. She tries not to laugh at Nyx's face in being taken back by her aunt, but I can't and it draws the boy's attention to me.

"I wouldn't laugh too hard if I were you, since you talk worse than I do. You use more swear words than words to speak."

"At least I don't get picked up by my aunt. I know when to say them or not." I respond by sticking my tongue out at him.

"See, I can't go on a mission alone with her, I'd end up killing her before I got home."

"Funny how you think you can kill me, like I'm not better at it than you are, and not kill you first."

"And since when are you better than me?"

"Well I think the last workout with Az speaks for itself..."

"I was tired ok, and then I was anxious, I felt pressured."

"I bet you use the same excuse with the girls you sleep with."

"You damn little bitch-"

"Stop it!" Cassian shouts in exasperation. "You're going on that damn mission, and you're leaving now, and I never want to hear another word out of you. Either of you."

We huff at the same time then leave the room, to go get our thing ready to leave when I hear Nesta say something.

"Amantium irae amoris integratio est."

"What does that mean?" Cassian asks in a curious tone.

"The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love. Those two are in love, and I can't wait for them to figure it out."

I hear Cassian burst out laughing and whisper something back to her that I can't quite make out. I dwell on those words and start to think about how I feel about Nyx, and slowly I find myself realizing that Nesta is right unfortunately, as usual. What I thought were jokes and teasing I find myself realizing are nothing more than my way of showing a feeling I was unaware of. I wonder if he also felt what Nes said or not.

��After a short while we are ready to take off and leave. The mission lasted a few days, and we managed to return victorious, although I was wounded as we were running away. The soldier was about to hit Nyx, but I managed to move him in time, but instead of him I took the hit. After this incident the boy immediately transmuted us home to the family river house in the lobby. I don't even have time to take a breath that immediately Nyx starts screaming in anger and fear.

"You're crazy! Do you realize what you've done! Damn Y/N, look at the wound, you could die!"

"Calm down, it's nothing, it's just a little scratch." I reply with the same anger, disguised as meekness.

"If it's a joke just know it's not funny, you're fucking hurt. I can protect myself, you didn't have to."

"There's nothing worse than a man's wounded pride."

"Y/N it's not a joke, you're bleeding, you had absolutely no right to do something like that."

"Yes I did, I totally had the right."

"Why? Why did you have to make of something so stupid."

"Because too many people have already died in front of my eyes. I watched my sisters die in front of my eyes, while I did nothing, instead I ran away, leaving their bodies there. I saw my mother die in front of my eyes, without me being able to do anything. So I'm sorry if this time I decided to react, to do something, instead of watching you suffer and hurt, I'm really sorry Nyx. I really am a bitch for that." I say starting to cry, falling to my knees on the hall carpet as I press a hand to my injured side. I see the High Lady in the library doorway watching the scene in silence, waiting for a response from her son. I see Nyx's eyes widen as she stares at me, then takes a step towards me, then freezes as if she's thinking about what to do next.

"Take care of her, call Madja, I have to go." She finally says, to run out the front door. Feyre immediately comes next to me, asking me how I'm doing, as I see Nesta look at me, then walk out of the library where she was before, and follow her nephew.

Nyx's Pov

I run through the streets of Velaris, passing by people, some greeting me, some trying to talk to me, but I'm too lost in my thoughts.

Bond. Y/N is my mate.

God how stupid I am, it was so obvious, but of course I never figured it out. Part of me has always been in love with her, but was always afraid to admit it. I walk until I find myself in front of my favorite fountain, the one that Nesta used to take me to when I was a kid, and she would tell me that anytime she felt lost or needed to get lost on something she would come here. I'm sitting on the edge and starting to think about whether or not I should tell the girl I love about the bond, when a familiar voice blows me out of my head.

"I knew I'd find you here. You were an asshole for leaving her there , you know that right? If you weren't my nephew I would have killed you by now. You're lucky I love you."

"I know, Aunt Nes, I know, but...I was...I was scared." I say, deciding to be honest with her.

"You haven't called me that since you were little. What were you afraid of?"

"Earlier, while we were in the hallway...well the bond clicked...Y/N is my mate. I was scared of ...everything: of seeing her there on the ground hurt, of the feelings exploding in my chest, of the way I suddenly couldn't do without her...and of her rejection."

"Don't be stupid, why would she reject the bond?"

"Because she hates me, come on it's obvious."

"You men are idiots...she loves you, and she knew it even before you did, Why do you think she preferred to take that hit instead of you? In love sometimes you do stupid things, and this is definitely one of those things. "

"I should talk to her."

"Definitely. Come on move, go get your woman. Finally my ship is about to come true."

I laugh and nod. I get up from the edge of the fountain, give her a quick hug, and head as fast as I can toward the house on the river. I see my mother standing in the doorway looking at me angrily, stopping her before she can say anything to me.

"I know, I know I've been an asshole, where is Y/N, I need to talk to her."

"She asked that I take her to her apartment after Madja treated her."

"Thanks mom, I'll explain later what happened. Better, have Aunt Nes explain it to you, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to tell you the story."

I start running through the city streets again, this time happily, as I make my way to my beloved's house.

Y/N's POV

I've just been lying in bed when I hear someone knocking on the front door. I asked the High Lady to take me to my house, a small apartment in the penthouse of a building in downtown Velaris, so I wouldn't have to meet Nyx again, knowing he would be home soon. I don't want to see him right now, after I spat some of my deepest fears at him, and he ran away without a word.

I get up and go to answer the door, and of course who do I see? The one person I don't want to see at all.

"Please before you close the door in my face, give me at least two minutes to talk to you and apologize, then I may never even see myself again." Says the boy in front of me.

"I already know I'm going to regret this, but if there's one thing Nesta taught me...it's that you don't give people second chances, goodbye."

"Please, please, one minute. All I ask, one minute, then I'm gone."

I think about the proposal for a moment, then open the door to let him in, and nod. He quickly enters the apartment, and turns to me as I close the door.

"How are you?" he asks, trying to test the waters.

"Fifty-six seconds."

"Okay, okay I'm moving. First of all I would like to apologize for running off like that earlier, I didn't mean to offend you and no one asked me or forced me to come here. If that's the question, I came here on my own. Second, I would like to apologize for being insensitive earlier. You confessed one of your biggest fears and I looked at you like you told me what your favorite color was.

"Wow...you're not Nyx, what have you done with him? In case you don't tell me, I much prefer this version."

"Ha ha very funny Y/N, really funny."

I laugh at his response, and see him smile at my reaction.

"Now comes the tricky part."

"Or was this one easy for the proud Nyx? Is apologizing easy?"

"You really do have such a low opinion of me darling." At this pet name I feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. I'm screwed. I feel something snap inside me, a strange feeling pervades me and I immediately understand. The mating bond. He is my mate. This feeling spreads throughout my body, and the only thing I want to do is kiss him.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I'm going to do it anyway, because it's too much of a burden to carry. I'm in love with you Y/N, and I've only been an idiot to treat you like this all this time, but I was afraid that you would never reciprocate my feelings and make fun of me, or you would reject me and that would destroy me. After today I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to confess my feelings to you before something even worse than what happened today happened to you, and then I felt the bond snap and I knew it was time to tell you how I feel. You can hate me now, but at least I told you how I feel. I love you...please don't kill me."

I freeze at his words, then laugh weakly as I get closer, and I see his confused expression.

"You really are an idiot you know. I love you too, why do you think I chose to save you over me? Why do you think I'm always so jealous of the girls you date? I'm possessive of my stuff, especially my mate. "

"I may be an idiot, but at least I'm your idiot."

"Hurry up idiot and kiss me."

It's the best kiss of my life. His lips are soft, and warm against mine. I run my hands through his hair, and I smell a scent of rain and canella that makes my nostrils invade. He holds me by my hips, close to him, as we slowly find ourselves backing up to the kitchen, where I grab a chocolate chip cookie and pulling away from him slightly, put it in his mouth. He looks at me, wondering with his gaze if I'm convinced of what I'm doing.

I nod, so he eats it. Right after he kisses me again, and this time I can also taste the chocolate on his lips. We approach my bedroom, as he begins to lightly kiss my neck and bite my ear. This gesture causes me to let out a soft moan of pleasure, as my hands move around trying to get his shirt off, and he tries to unhook my bra, before falling onto the bed. We make love all night, being careful not to hurt me, accepting the mating bond and his animal passion, and then fall asleep in each other's arms at dawn, content, satisfied, and in love.

Bonus

Nesta's pov

I smile to see that Neither Nyx nor Y/N is present at practice this morning. I turn to my mate, who has a rather confused look on his face.

"Where are those two? They didn't kill themselves did they?" He asks, and I in response shrug, saying.

"Who knows." I look at Azriel and smile in satisfaction as he rolls his eyes, saying "I knew I shouldn't have bet on the two of them with you."

#nyx x reader #imagine acotar #acotar x reader #rhys acotar #acotar #acomaf #hauntedwitch04's writing

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expensivebooks · 5 years

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A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGHT REVIEW(SPOILER)

Hey guys!! This is so late but here’s my opinion on the novella of the ACOTAR series. I am currently reading Kingdom of Ash so hopefully I’ll quickly post my kingdom of ash review even though its a bit weird since I haven’t posted any throne of glass reviews but Enjoy it!!!

If I am going to be honest, I enjoyed this book. I know a lot of people was disappointed because it was all Feyre and Rhysand but I liked the domestic vibes A Court of Frost and Starlight gave. There is not really much to talk about for the plot because there was practically no plot (just shopping). But it brought nice and calm domestic perspective for all of the characters, which we don’t get a lot. Overall, it was quite an enjoyable book I guess? I wasn’t expecting much anyways. But let me say NESTA FREAKING ACHERON stole the book. I don’t know why but I felt for her so much especially in the last chapter.

“I painted and painted and painted”

This summed up all of Feyre’s chapters. Feyre’s perspective was nice but whenever it was someone else’s POV I was so much more excited to read it? It was probably because in every Feyre pov, she’s just talking about painting? I know it was a way of her to move on but it was too much. Does SJM really have to show us Feyre debating about whether she should paint EVERY SINGLE TIME? I didn’t really like all the painting parts, I just thought it was unnecessary but tbh this whole book was unnecessary other than telling us that there’s going to be a new series.

“And what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do? Host events? Organize party-planning committees?”

This scene. THIS FREAKING SCENE. This made me dislike Feyre, honestly throughout this series, Lucien was always a misunderstood character with no one beside him. Especially since the last book, he didn’t have Tamlin anymore, everyone in the night court hated him (he deserved that) and his mate rejects him. But he didn’t deserve anything of what Feyre threw at him in his scene. Honestly, what was Feyre expecting from him, to stay in Velaris and sulk while they all hated him? After everything he went through with losing his whole future, he finally found good people he considers as family and Feyre had the audacity to mock his new family and him? I was shocked and disgusted she could have Tamlin but I never had any ill feelings for him. Because he was siding with his best and only friend and they both had nothing without each other. The worst part is that Feyre knew that, she knows the deep bond they both have and know she’s shoving that fact in his face.

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

This scene was the first time I truly understood that after everything Tamlin never wanted things to escalate this far. He loved Feyre in a way that was toxic for him and Feyre, and it was best for him to let Feyre go and start anew. I am not defending his actions because they were terrible but I can at least say that Tamlin has a big heart. And while Feyre may have shredded it, it was his fault for his down bringing. Tamlin’s really just the ex that you feel sorry for really, every time I read about him my heart just moves a bit for him.

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’”

This was one of the weirdest things in the book. Strangely, SJM is kinda like shipping Az with Elain? Like what is that? I do ship them but I think Az deserves his own mate, but they still cute. Actually I really ship them but it’s just weird. Why is SJM confusing my poor shipper heart? I guess she’s trying to make a new couple where they don’t have to be mates? Or maybe I am reading too into it? Is it just me? Idk? Was I the only one expecting more from Elain? I thought by now she would at least stop being moody and actually interact with people normally. Not just coming in to politely say hi then disappearing but hopefully she’ll bloom and open up in the next books.

“You are over five hundred years old, she often reminded herself”

I had to remind myself that too. SJM butchered Mor, like wth what happened to our confident, sarcastic, fun girl? Her whole POV was totally useless because SJM just repeats what she’s been through exactly how she explained it in the last three books. There wasn’t anything I didn’t already know when I was reading her perspective. It was ridiculous and she had two chapters just to show her insecurities towards her father and Elis. At first, I was so excited to finally have a perspective of Mor but honestly I expected more than just a retelling of her story. It was nice when she flashback to her past when her father left her nailed and Eris just left her, but that was it. I am just disappointed that SJM didn’t go into detail of how she overcame that and became who she was.

“Shattering”

I swear to god if I have to read one more sex scene from SJM where the word shattering appears one more time, help me God. Why is it shattering? Like I get it, they’re having sex, it’s great but wth? I already knew this series was practically fifty shades of gray with all the smut but this took it to a whole other level. At least the other books had some sort of plot but now Feyre and Rhysand can freely unleash their pent up sexual frustration. Half of this book was about them wanting to fuck each other, its well, not romantic in a sense. Honestly, SJM should just avoid sex scenes if she’s going to put words like shattering in it.

“The sex had destroyed me”

Well, that summed up about 80% of Rhysand’s POV because it was ALL ABOUT A HORNY TEENAGER. I get it they’re in love, but I don’t need to know exactly which walls or furniture they fucked on. But I got to admit Rhysand’s POV brought the practically non-existent plot- the Illyrians. I guess their building on to the next series and I am praying that Cassian and Nesta can keep it down and not be all over each other(which is probably not going to happen because their sexual tension is 10 times thicker than Feyre and Rhysand). I am also interested as how Rhysand will be perceived in Nesta’s POV as we only see him from people he loves.

Nesta. What can I say about Nesta. I’ve never felt so much angst from one character before. She’s hurt, dark and might I say jealous too. How she can’t express her feelings to just anyone and hates to feel vulnerable. I am very interested to see how her story will go, with training with the Illyrians to battling her fears and even falling in love with Cassian(she probs is already). For me, SJM did a perfect job of showing how people have different methods to cope with loss and trauma and she captured Nesta’s pain amazingly. I felt so much for Nesta that sometimes I hated everyone for just leaving her there to suffer alone even though they tried to include her. I could understand her because even though she’s Feyre’s sister, she couldn’t be like Elain, she couldn’t suddenly just accept her situation just because the war ended she need time to mourn for her father and herself. Of the life that was stolen away from her and Elain. Feyre did went through the same process from turning human to high fae but she was given her powers as a gift while Elain and Nesta was forced and taken from them and they were thrust to a surroundings with unfamiliar faces and things force on them(mates). So I’ll always feel more towards Elain and Nesta because they’ve both been through so much and they deserve the best.

Overall, I’ll miss Rhysand and Feyre but this was a good farewell and a start to something new so let’s say our goodbyes to our amazing and strong couple to welcome a new one.

“To the stars who listen, Feyre.

To the dreams that are answered, Rhys.”

#ACOTAR #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #azriel #elain archeron #morrigan #amren #sjm #finale #2018 #bookish vibes #book review #books #life #acomaf #acowar #acofas

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