#Nick's car broke down but I have the AAA

[ereborne]

Half-asleep, highly distracted, pacing the curb at 4:50 of the AM, saw a Yankee slip on wet grass and fall on his ass, saw him get halfway through his attempt to stand only to slip again and fall on his face, went rushing over--I forgot he was a Yankee, you see--to see if he was okay.  Got back the most indignantly incredulous parroted “am I alright there, baby“ imaginable, just immaculate Spike From Buffy delivery here, babes, this was the most “out for a walk, bitch” out-spit non-question I’ve ever heard.  why are Yankees like this.  He never told me if he was alright. 

#yapping tag #here 'AM' stands for 'ass of morning' #Nick's car broke down but I have the AAA #wolftraps #Tristan Tristan thank you so much for the AAA #I have the AAA so I had to get an uber to him so I could call for a tow #so good news: I did get to hear the uber driver's review of living on Guam #'hot. no good storms. no potatoes. Air Force had the good volleyball court. nice jungle though. volcanic rocks' #that's very nearly a verbatim quote and it delights me. imagine a grizzled chain-smoking man with a crew cut #ticking his head left to right with each grunted judgment #he saw that the tire had come fully off the wheel of Nick's car and gave us this sterling report: 'that won't drive' #his name's Bruce and I gave him five stars and a ten-dollar tip #bad news though: the tire's come fully off the wheel of Nick's car and no we do not know how he managed that one #presumably Midas Tire will let us know later today #also also last time I did this Duncan very tiredly informed me that they aren't New York baseball players and therefore aren't proper nouns #but I have to say that a Yankee is a Some Kind of Guy #alright there's a specific noun state of Yankeeness #there is a Yankee Way that some of these people have About Them #I'm not capitalizing because of the rules of English grammar I'm capitlizing for the rules of tumblr grammar #y'all need to know that when I say Yankee it comes out my mouth with clear corners #like when we say someone is Like That

[calzona-all-ways]

The master wire

by: @in-toxication 

“Cal, the check engine light is still on.” Arizona glanced over the dashboard of her girlfriend’s 1957 Thunderbird. It was date night and Callie was taking her out for dinner.

“Yeah, I’ve forgotten about it. You know how hectic it was last week.” The brunette shrugged nonchalantly. The light started flickering just a couple weeks ago, there was still time before she had to send it to the garage, normally.

“Then we should have taken my car.” The blonde pursed her lips murmuring under her breath. She loved that her girlfriend looked hot in this vintage car, but still, it was an old car. It didn’t seem safe comparing to her much, much more modern Mercedes. “The check engine light in my car isn’t on.”

“It’s gonna be fine.” Callie rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time that her girlfriend commented on her car. But living so close to work meant she didn’t have many chance to bring her baby out for a ride. She wouldn’t miss it. And the car was running smoothly so far…  

Damn the Murphy’s law.

Callie pulled to the side of the street when her trustful car started making scrapping noises and wobbling.

“What’s going on?” Arizona stared at the driver with uplifted eyebrows.

“I don’t know…” The brunette held up her hands looking at the dashboard. She had had never heard her car grunting like that. After a few seconds of staring, she tried to start the car again. It grunted, shimmied, and then stopped.

“How can you don’t know? This is your car.” Ivory hand waved around her surrounding. “You’re driving around with an old car, Callie.”

“I know how to drive the car doesn’t mean that I have to know how to fix it. I fix bones.” Callie grumbled between trying to start the car again. She wasn’t really appreciated the condescending tone in the woman’s voice, especially when she was so worried about her baby. “It’s not like you know anything about cars.”

“Pop the hood.” Sighing dramatically, Arizona ordered.

“What?” Brown eyes snapped up staring at the blonde as if she just grew another head.

“I said, pop the hood.” Arizona said again before got out of the car. She stood by the door with a hand on her hip waiting for the brunette to do what she said.

Reluctantly and uncertainly, Callie pressed the button and the hood popped open. She followed her girlfriend to the front of the car.

“Please don’t touch anything, Arizona.” Swallowing nervously, she burst out when the blonde held up a hand about to reach into the maze of mechanical… stuffs. “This is not an abdomen of a person. You know nothing about…”

“I grew up with a brother, remember? He and our friend Nick spent a lot of time burying their heads under the hoods.” The blonde titled her head to a cocky smile. She was proud to herself that she knew a little more than her girlfriend. “I knew enough about cars from them.”

“But… I’m not sure, Arizona.” Uncertainty gaze shifted between her girlfriend and her car. Callie wanted to trust the girl that she loved, but… she also loved her car. “It’s okay, I’m going to call AAA. They can be here in about half an hour.”

“Then we’re going to miss our reservation, Calliope. Really, Tim taught me an emergency fix.” Blue eyes searched over the sea of wires and mechanical parts, Arizona exclaimed seeing what she was looking for. “Here it is.”

“What is that?” Callie asked seeing the blonde picked up a thick wire that had a few smaller wires connecting to several places.

“That, my friend, is the wire that connects to every trouble.” Arizona turned her head to the brunette, explaining it just liked the time her brother taught her. “This is the master wire. Whenever there’s something wrong with any part of the car, this it the wire that sends the signal to the engine. You just have to disconnect it then the engine will start again.”

“If it’s that simple then why would…” The brunette couldn’t finish the question as her voice choked in a gasp. Arizona just yanked off the said wire.

“See? Just like that.” Arizona gave the still jaw dropping brunette a triumphant glance whilst pulling the hood back down. “But this is just a temporary fix. You still need to bring it to the garage later. Now, get back in and try to start this old junk again.”

“What is the problem?” Callie asked to the guy in the jumpsuit, who was currently examining her baby. She and Arizona, and her car were in the same spot in the past 40 minutes.

“Hard to tell, ma'am. I’ll need to take it back to the garage for a thorough checkup.” The mechanic finally stood up, wiping his hands on his pants. “Probably the engine. And your horn wire is torn.”

“What wire?” Big brown eyes blinked up at the AAA guy.

“This.” The man picked up the disconnected wire, showing it to the two women. “The wire that connected to the horn. It looks like someone just pulled it out.”

“Really? The horn wire? “Slowly turned her head to the woman standing next to her, Callie didn’t even bother to hide the smirk on her face. 

“Umm… Steve,” Not ready to admit her mistake, Arizona cleared her throat before asking. “Would it be possible, maybe, that is the master wire? You know, the one that could disconnect the malfunction parts to the engine? Oh wait, maybe it’s the one next to it…”

“Ma'am…” At this point, Steve the mechanic had a pretty good idea who had pulled out the wire. Keeping his expression neutral, he answered the blonde woman. “There has no such thing. There is no master wire. If the structure of car is that simple, I’d be out of my job a long time ago. I think you… well… whoever pulled that wire, has got pranked. The only thing that’d happen after this is silencing the horn.”

“You broke my car.” Callie sang out. She knew that she should be mad or upset about her beloved car, but this was just too hilarious. 

“Oh shut up. I broke your horn.” A red flush spreads from the blonde’s face to her neck. Silently cursed her brother who was no longer with her so she couldn’t punch him in the arm, she glared at the smirking woman. “Your car has already broken.”

“The horn wire is not a big deal. I can easily weld it back. But if the damage of your car is as I suspected, we may have a problem of getting the parts to fix it. I’ll let you know.” Steve wrote down the details on the note pad and then handed the receipt to the car owner. “Do you need me to call you a cab?”

“It’s fine, I’ll call them.” The brunette smiled to the nice man, and then watched the tow truck driving away with her thunderbird in the back. Turning around, she found her pouting girlfriend leaning against a random car with arms cross against her chest. “C'mon, don’t tell me you’re still mad about the horn wire.”

“No, it’s not.” Arizona twisted her lips glancing sideward. Of course she was. “I’m mad that we couldn’t make it to the reservation.”

“Let’s go home and order in pizza.” Callie wrapped an arm around the upsetting woman and pulled her to move. “It’s not too far away, we can walk. And you can tell me all the things you know about cars.”

“Calliope!” Arizona tried to push her girlfriend away, but the brunette just tightened the hold and chuckled aloud.

“And seriously, I’d really love to know everything that your brother had ever taught you.”

#Callie Torres #Arizona Robbins #Calzona #Callie and Arizona #Calzona Always - All Ways #submission #in-toxication #one-shot