#Normally the lack of reblogs doesn't bother me but like

[kalims]

Hi, there~! So I have this really fun idea in my head. I would like a headcannon in which the fem! reader asks the Dorm Leaders to be her pretend boyfriend. But what happens when the boys fall in love for real? Super fluff, please! Thanks!

‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "i know this sounds weird but can you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

today's promise,

parts : one, two, three.

characters : riddle, leona, azul.

cw : book 1, 2, and 3 possible spoilers. implied harassment, fake relationship, eventual pining, fluff, this post is long-term fake relationship kinda thang.

includes : fem!reader.

wc : 7.1k words, 39.7k characters.

note : I tried to basically make the thing diverse, which included me stealing an idea from spy x family. the whole party scene basically 👩‍🦯 also I originally had no plans to post this yet, but since it's been a long time since I've active I figured to just put it. don't expect the next part to be out anytime soon lmao, I'm exhausted. sorry that this came out like a month and a half late

reblogs are appreciated <3

riddle rosehearts — when a creep is borderline harassing you and you need help to get rid of them. what better way was to drive them out with no needed force?

what the hell? you shove your newly acquired phone further under your blazer, shrinking a little when crewel's line of sight passes by your figure. you start praying to the gods, wherever, whenever to give you mercy when you feel another buzz sounding from the device.

they were anonymous, an unknown number that told you to just call them C. which is kind of hilarious since it just reinforced your impression of a troll on them.

it's been a few weeks and a few days since you've started to receive– admittedly concerning texts. of which you've brushed up as a troller, your previous thought ended up far too wrong when you received a mouthful of detail on your current attire.

which would've been normal if they also didn't pair it with a descriptive text about your classes, and what you do when you get home.

you sent the person a simple text to leave you alone, before pressing the block button. you didn't hear from them for a day. it was apparently temporary peace until you found a sealed letter in your seat, the signed name caught your attention immediately. 

– C :)

it's contents were too morally wrong to even say.

so you decide to entertain them for a while. getting to know each other, never really answering their questions that are too personal for strangers to know of. you started off asking their name, they didn't grace you with a reply.

next you tried asking if they were on the same yearl, it was simple. but it would greatly slim your suspects if they said yes.

they said yes.

next, you asked. what dormitory are you in? 

heartslabyul, C replied immediately. 

well they clearly thought that your knowledge of their dorm would do harm.

"hey, riddle!" the boy himself slows down his steps. peering behind him curiously, the previous stern look in his eyes slightly softens when it only catches of one of his close freinds. "prefect. something you need?"

"yes actually."

he listens dutifully. and at some point riddle just halts in his steps, and in turn you do aswell. "someone is bothering you? unbelievable! it's off with their—" he fumes. an immediate scowl gracing his features. there is a noticeable fury brimming behind riddle's eyes.

you grimace. a pool of uneasiness starts to rise in your stomach. it wasn't as though you were afraid of them, but more like..

the lack of evidence would most likely pin the blame to you instead.

"I'd prefer a more.." you gesture at his reddening face. "peaceful approach."

your method is certainly.. interesting it wasn't like riddle disliked it but he would've preferred to get the problem apprehended right away. but then again he can't really speak since he isn't their target of offense.

he looked embarrassed to hear your whole grand plan. he doesn't want to say no because who is he? a dorm leader to turn away from someone who is suffering at the hands of his fellow student.

riddle seems immensely more furious than you'd ever seen him when you inform that its a heartslabyul student. he would honestly just start marching onwards his dorm to interrogate the students themselves but even compared to the whole population of the school. there's still a lot of students in the heartslabyul dorm.

but since both of you figured it'd just do harm, you somehow convinced him to abandon his previous idea and proceed with yours instead: it's simple, probably effective if done properly, no one would question it since they don't know the behind the scenes, and maybe it's a chance to get to know riddle a little better. 

the first week was very awkward. you'd think he'd forgotten about it since he barely does anything to make the promise realistic but you threw the whole assumption out of the window since he seemed far too tense when you attempt to make a physical affection towards him.

thankfully his embarrassment and red face was usually mistaken for a blush of shyness so it had done a lot despite it being an unconscious effort from riddle. students had taken notice and started to gossip, much to his dismay. but then again the whole plan wouldn't have worked if word doesn't get out.

"us suddenly entering a.. relationship so suddenly would be suspicious." riddle says one day. matching your pace and looking straight ahead. as a whole, he was completely right. even after the whole overblot incident. you and him didn't really show any indication of actually being interested in each other romantically.

you nod. "yeah... but they wouldn't have any proof that this is a fake you know. therefore this could work." riddle shakes his head at you. "that is a weak contradiction."

apparently but expectedly, C caught word of the whole thing. and created a whole new number to start bothering you with. the first thing you see is them questioning you about the riddle, addressing the rumors and if they were true. in a way that depicts them looking absolutely crazy.

you would send the whole convo to crowley and hopefully get them suspended, even better if expelled but you don't really know the exact location of this person. you've tried getting an ignihyde student to help you, since they're basically geniuses with tech. but you've come to learn that they use public phones to contact you.

no not the free ones like from your old world. a whole, actual smart phone would be free to use in various stores in case of an emergency. if this was back in your world it would've been 100% robbed already.

(not canon I think this is for plot purpose)

the second week ends up going smoother than the last. you both agree showing affection in public but on a more minimal note, like how those sappy couples do. ace and deuce naturally find out first. walking into you and riddle seatedt on a bench with you casually leaning your head on his shoulder, to which he responded with placing his over yours. you both stare at the pages of a history book.

admittedly with great reluctance and the embarrassment he thought he'd gotten rid of.

ace had screamed so loudly that it made his housewarden jump from his seat and set his enraged eyes on the former. he was expectedly punished for possibly disturbing nearby students with the loud noise. and riddle took personal offense from his reaction alone.

you watch calmly from the sidelines, involved with the chaos as always though being only left to witness it.

"honestly dude? ew, why housewarden?!" ace groans. finally cornering you in the ramshackle dorm, traces of red paint all across his hands. deuce follows behind him, nodding and looking torn. of course, they didn't need to know so you just resorted to telling them the classic. "we hit off."

they didn't leave you alone. and had the most weirdest excuse to pull you away from riddle whenever they happen to see you two together. you can't tell if it's because they're lowkey protective or they just wanna spite riddle, mainly ace but deuce seems reluctant but involved regardless.

cater, of course finds out a few days later after your first year freinds do. I don't know what you expect but he's the main reason why the majority of NCR. are aware of your current status with the housewarden. if there's a fast way to get everyone aware of your status, leave it to cater and his trusty skills with social media.

cater might go a little overboard sometimes but he'd probably start of with something like hinting -> posting pictures of you and riddle (his first one was in a library, with riddle looking over your shoulder as you sat.) and -> captioning the posts with the most obvious shit like love birds. 🙄

...and he is also the reason why you are being spammed online by a bunch of curious fellow students.

contrary to what the adeuce had thought. trey was actually the one who found out first. riddle being unable to hide it with his obvious behavior and eventually confiding in trey with a red face and sputtering words. of course riddle didn't relay your secret, you trusted him enough to keep and aid you after all.

(only him.)

eventually the whole thing just starts to blend with his whole schedule. suddenly the hand holding, cheek kissing, and affection in general doesn't affect him as much as it did before. on the contrary, he sometimes finds himself enjoying it which is outrageous because he thinks it's inappropriate to feel such a thing towards you when this whole thing is just..

pretend.

in fact he starts to incorporate you into his life. he makes that he brews two cups of tea to bring over in the mornings, one for you, one for him. even better if you both caught moment alone in the gardens, just with the occasional chatter (with riddle making sure your student and personal life is doing okay) and the silence whom you don't know how it melted from awkward to comfortable.

as a second example, there is a special spot for you whenever there's an unbirthday party. sweets especially to your taste, or just general pastries like bread if you aren't too into sweets. (don't ask why you're now seated next to his seat, on his very own special table while your freinds are staring into your soul.) did I mention he completely disregarded grim and even asked adeuce to take care of him while he gets you all to himself?

thirdly. he'd grown accustomed to squeeze you into his schedule, another example being study sessions on a quiet spot in the library consisting of the torture of school, ensured after classes of course. but if riddle is beside you, helping you along the way surely it won't be too bad?

it all would've gone alone fairly well if azul and kalim didn't come barging in the middle of one of your sessions, kalim exclaiming over a new addition to their study group? while azul wears a suspiciously polite look. riddle nearly screams in suprise before going a little red at the realization–

he'd forgotten that he, along azul had taken the intuitive to tutor kalim. well, it was mostly him believing that jamil should have a break, therefore ending up up offering. he's not sure about azul though but he definitely had some kind of ulterior motive.

now the two are some kind of third and fourth wheels to your 'not dates' azul is now excessively asking a lot of questions. probably having noticed the now close intimacy you two share. some simple, and some far too embarrassing to answer.

you had to pull riddle away before he actually collared a fellow dorm head, there's a slim chance he will since riddle is always so formal, respecting and strict. azul didn't break any rules so there wasn't a need for a punishment.

slim but definitely not impossible!

he wasn't aware at first. too entranced to notice that his red faces weren't from embarrassment or shame anymore but from actual shyness. he seems to grip your hand a little tighter, spending so much time with you that there was a moment where he forgot he had duties to attend to.

ah.. you almost forgot, the creep that had been bothering you wasn't heard from for... days? your days had been going so splendidly that it brought you the blessing of forgetting about them…

as a final precaution you swipe open your messages and to your absolute delight the last time they texted you was about a week ago. nothing was heard which meant that they hopefully got the whole memo.

"riddle, thank you." you smiled at him one afternoon. riddle raises a brow at your frankly, rare thankful behavior. "for what?"

you beam at him, so blissfully that his hearts starts running laps. it had such a hold on him that he had to verbally clear his throat. "they're gone! I didn't notice but they haven't been bothering me anymore." who? they? who is they?

ohh...

oh..

you don't know if you were hallucinating but it almost seemed like the strands on his head, shaped like hearts, drooped as if it broke.

"so.. you don't need me--my help anymore?" he questions quietly. the answer is so clear in your head, but even you pause in silence. unable to answer.

riddle doesn't know how he got the courage to do what he had in the following moments. maybe a burst of effort to keep you with him.

he huffed. "hmph, prefect. you've stolen something from me." your face constricts into slight horror but mainly confusion is present as you point at yourself. "me? I have?"

he grabs your finger and navigates it to point at his chest. "yes. stolen items must be replaced. there isn't a problem if I want yours right?"

"👁👄👁" that was smooth.

leona kingscholar — when you've accidentally told your freinds that you're in a relationship in a spur of the moment, and now have to prove it to be true.. or else.

it was nice having freinds. other than a pair of boys atleast, you love ace and deuce but sometimes.. you'd just prefer it if sometimes we're a little calmer.. and not full of half hearted brawls that you always get dragged into.

socializing was a pain in the ass sometimes, and definitely hard to do when you know absolutely nothing about the new world. so you literally felt like some foreign kid in a new school, on a new continent, starting school. 

so you'd guess it's the reason why you started clinging onto a pair of ladies, just your age. they were attending another college a few ways over NRC, they were apart of a sorority. as crazy as it seems that those actually exist here aswell.

well.. not exactly clingy but you let them basically do anything they want to you. they're actually really nice. it sounds like you're just a loser but you'd just rather not walk up to someone and go. "hey! wanna be freinds?" it sounds way too awkward. 

"you're really pretty, you know?" A twirls a lock of your hair and giggles. you blink in slight embarrassment and guiltily stare at your shoes. "thanks.."

B perks up from the bed. "well yeah! im suprised you haven't got a boyfreind yet." she teases. behind her sits C, C grunts and not so violently pulls B from the hair which causes the girl to jerk back.

"OW??" 

"stop moving.." C mumbles. 

B sits up, exasperated. "whatever.. anyways! the house is gonna host a party next month." she points at you. "you in?"

you pause and think about your schedule. it's clean, right? finally, you nod. "yeah."

A grins "for once were letting in plus two's! you better make sure you bring someone. kay?"

who the hell would you even bring? well… ace or deuce would count but if you brought one the other is bound to start following as well. kinda like they come in a two in one package.

"speaking of… do you have anyone in mind?"

"ah.."

B leaps up and starts squealing. "oh MY GOD!! don't tell me you're gonna bring a boyfriend!" she laughs. slapping you playfully. in the spur of the moment you answer.

"heh… in your dre–"

"um yeah.."

they all pause. "WHAT?"

"so you're telling me, you told your freinds that you have a boyfreind? " leona scowls. leaning his cheek on his palm as his tail lazily swishes behind him peering up at you, looking half asleep.

he groans. "out of all people.. me, really?" you sigh and nod mutely. "sorry. it was in the spur of the moment, i kind of... blurted it out and they don't believe me."

leona makes another sound of seeming irritation. "so your pride is on line? fine.. remember, you're indebted to me after this."

he pauses. "oh, for the record. you're gonna listen to whatever I say. got it?" you can only nod. he was the one accepting after all, it hardly seemed like a fair deal but whatever gets him to succumb to your one wish.

this will be okay right? this will be beneficial to him, even better if it requires minimal effort

leona still can't wrap the thought of why, you've chosen him out of all students in the school, even one of your so dear, first year best freinds would be a better choice. he internally sighs at your carelessness. If you hadn't been so quick to be defensive then maybe he wouldn't be in this situation at all..

but then again he would still need to lift another limb if he ended up not accepting with ruggie being busy in the meanwhile. he thinks, watching you scurry around. obviously struggling and lowkey annoyed at his vigorous commands. is this how a king feels? to be able to get someone to obey without much complaints.

ruggie doesn't know what in the seven is going on and why you were like some kind of new, additional servant to the housewarden but he doesn't really care, if anything your involvement had made his life a lot easier.

and what does ruggie appreciate? something to lessen the load of work leona just piles on him! nice see you again prefect. now you're gonna be someone that ruggie's gonna use to skip out on all the work he deems to hard for his poor, overworked self. be ready. he's gonna work you to the absolute bone.

accompanied by lots of school works, upcoming tests and more errands from crowley. adding leona's needs didn't exactly help your case. if anything it made your headaches more frequent and, more prone to passing out because you could literally see your vision blur at random times in the day.

your 'freinds' ended up inviting you to some kind of acquaintance party. which you'd be stress free of going to if it weren't the fact that they insisted for your so called 'boyfreind' to come along. for a couple of freinds, they sure are persistent on humiliating you. but what can you do? they have more influence than you.

"there's a party, I need you to go with me."

you had told leona when he had his back turned to you. "hngh... what a pain..." you could hear him mumble and perhaps even the small disappointment of knowing that you'll be going alone. it's not that you minded his reaction to the situation, if you went alone then you'd be proved as a liar.

the party was in a few weeks. prior to the party then you'd go along as his errand runner until the day arrives. even then, there's still a small bubble of hope. despite the fact that you're sure he won't even bother. for now you'd trust him, leona isn't known for his promises. but he helped you during that time in octavinelle, even if the intentions were made to benefit himself.

..and if he just put up with your little plan. he'd get an obedient little 'servant' he can boss around with ruggie. if you can deal with crowley then you surely can put up with leona. at the very least, his commands are just him being his lazy self compared to the piles crowley would give you.

his commands usually being "fetch me another pillow in the closet." or "get me meat from the kitchen." leona being leona.. = never putting the effort to do something rather than snooze the whole day.

the first week consisted of you mainly getting more packed with work. crewel noticed the tired face you sported in class, he even caught you sleeping several times. usually he'd whip up a good punishment.. but, maybe you need it. of course he'd confronted crowley about it but you don't exactly know.

and your whole load got lighter, even if it isn't a lot. and using the confusion into advantage the following days goes by with you feeling lighter than you'd ever been.

leona still stayed the same. you don't even know why you went to him. he didn't make it believable nor initiate anything that implies that he'd chosen you. you were frustrated because even your freinds had noticed despite their being not even from NCR. you'd never posted about leona, only the occasional food pics you'd post on magicam.

they'd still pester you about showing his face.

of course. the school doesn't even know about your whole predicament so if leona doesn't want to, then why even bother? after all, they're not the ones who you're appealing to. slowly this whole things seems very useless since you'd just end up indebted to the lion who didn't lift a finger to help you.

"maybe jack would have been a better option?" you mumble randomly. carefully folding a piece of shirt that definitely belongs to leona, it's scent is eerily familiar. you fan yourself with your hand, it's absolutely hot in here.. how do these boys even survive in the heat?

unkownst to you of the lion that just walked in on the right time to pick up on your words despite still being far away from you. if there was one thing leona hated– it was being compared.

this is weird, what would leona want to call for you? "for your hard work, I'll give you a little prize." leona stretches. ears twitching pleasantly at the sensation of his bones popping. then he lays down and glances at you side ways. "what're you waiting for? come here." while you stood dumbly in the middle of the botanical garden.

and that's how you ended up casually tucked under leona's arm on a patch of green in the botanical garden. the grass tresses tickle your face as if it was caressing it. it brought little comfort to the racing heart you had, and you feared that leona could pick it up. "well this isn't bad is it?"

he opens his eyes and peeks at you, a little exasperated. "herbivore. calm down will you? don't catch feels for me so fast." before you could answer he's already fast asleep, even going as far as snuggling closer like you were his pillow!

"that's not..." you trail off. awkwardly adjusting your position as you'd tried to wriggle out prior, which ended up being a fail since you failed to recognize how strong a lion could be.. you sigh and succumb to your ultimate demise. might as well catch up on some sleep, right?

(is it really a coincidence for leona to suddenly pull you to nap just after you've looked so exhausted? I will leave you to interpret that.) <- a factor to his invitation, the minor one being him hell bent on proving that he's obviously better and not one to compare to.

"leonaaa.. leonaaa! I know you're in here.."

ruggie ends up finding his housewarden and the prefect of ramshackle snuggling into each other like a pair of lion mates.. er... lion and human mate?? was that even okay.. a lion and a human together wasn't very common, lions liked to stick to other lions. uncommon but you're not the only case.

the second week passes by with less stress than the first one. you're now somehow obligated to attend leona's mandatory morning, afternoon, and night naps. the fact that the leona himself is dragging himself to your class instead of actually sleeping to drag you to sleep with him. (that was confusing) is suspicious enough as it is.

so jack ends up having an urge, something to resolve his curiosity that he can't help. though he has an inner crisis, he ultimately ends up asking you about it to which you casually reply. "oh, leona? we're... together.." you mumbled.

what now 😃

jack is honestly quite confused. come on now. you and the housewarden? that's the pair that no one would expect. if he remembers correctly. you and leona barely talked to each other and even got into a few disputes yourself! it just sounds kinda bizarre given how he treats you like a nobody.

^ typical leona behavior to everyone else but still.. 

from what you know. leona doesn't own a magicam, hell. you haven't even seen him carrying a phone around. but apparently you were wrong when ruggie casually showed you leona's page like it was nothing. you woulda assumed it's just ruggie trying to mess with you if the followers didn't have the verified user of @/farena. people from leona's homeland struck you as people who don't really care about technology but guess you're wrong again..

(leona wasn't following back)

somehow theres actually stuff that the page has: for example a blurry picture of leona sleeping. and the caption being messy letters that you used enough brain juice to form 'unca leona'. you laugh and follow leona as a joke, scrolling through his page full of blurry pics and selfies from cheka. some from the king himself.

though you don't know if you're suprised if leona followed you back or how he was still awake. his 0 following now turned into 1.

now you have a curious big brother in your dms whose curiously asking who you are. and your freinds pestering you once again, this time quering about the mysterious follow of a prince! you almost forgot they knew your social media.

you end up ignoring them in favor of actually getting to know farena. you suppose that if you'd told leona he'd definitely get upset and stingy with you so you decide on not letting him know. farena exchanges greetings with you before going into a discussion about leona.

as if some kind of flip. he did a 180° and is now telling you embarrassing stories about leona. sending you old pictures of a young leona that you'd never thought you'd see.

what an entertaining night..

the third week arrived faster than you had thought. you were mainly focused on completing your tasks as well as balancing your student life. if anything both are pretty much the same. at that time, leona had pretty much given you access to everything he owns. he no longer makes a fuss over you arriving at the dorm, if anything. he seems pleased.

and sometimes he calls for you himself! last time you remember he was just about seconds from grumbling away because of your presence alone due to the confiscation if your dorm! and now if lions could purr you could pretty much imagine him doing so because he seems so intent on letting you sleep next to him.

on.his.bed.

did I mention he kicks grim out of the bed when he thinks you don't know as you both sleep? someone get this cat a break because you are both grim's blessing and nightmare. all these boys are doing crazy things to sever his bond with HIS henchman! >:(

oh you wanna sleep on his bed? wait for him would you?  you're hungry? fine. lion prides usually have their individual fair shares anyways. basically the epitome of "we share everything." this doesn't extend to him only you know, so there's unspoken rule that you have to share yours too. he doesn't really ask much but you're starting to question why he keeps taking your blankets, returning it and then taking it again after a few weeks.

(I'm sure you know)

surprisingly leona's attendance to class had been so frequent whenever you were somehow involved to the point where trein had asked you to 'help' him in class. by that he really meant being some kind of assistant.. not that you minded (you did) but why?

oh… crewel is his potionology teacher? he hates the professor because he treats leona like a goddamn puppy. so leona just skips it all out until somehow you had gotten involved. just when he was about to step out from the classroom to skip you enter to pass a stack of paper to crewel. the man asks you to assist him with some things.

why's he suddenly in his seat??

did I mention that lions are quite possessive of things they claim?

…

the weeks just blur in comparison and now you're walking to the party alone. shivering at the unfortunate winter blessed upon the streets of.. this world or whatever.. it's been only a few times since you've left campus, a majority only ever to visit the girls. 

you peer at your watch. he's 32 minutes late... you sigh, shoving your cold fingers in your pockets. what was the point in waiting anymore? you'd be more of an embarrassment if you turn up to the party more late, and partnerless..

the cold, merciless winter doesn't do justice against the icy feeling your heart adorns.

that's how you arrived at the doorstep of your freind, particles of visible snow clouding your attire. as they struggle to hold in their laugh. "you're late!" I know..

"c-pfft..come on in!"

you nod. dusting off the snow over your jacket and hanging it. it's too bad. you look down at the attire under your coat. cause for once you had actually tried to make an effort to make yourself look presentable. to try and make yourself look appealing even, in the slightest hopes of impressing…

hm. you shake your head and stand awkwardly in a corner, everyone doesn't seem  to notice you.

this normalcy--, you glance at someone making hand motions. then their hand bursts into a dance of fiery, passionate flames. --is something I can never get.

after all… there is no such thing as magic back in your world. it's dull, boring and certainly tempted to just pluck away all your hopes and burn it when you start high school. 

you ended up staying for more or less, half an hour. you let yourself explore the house, it was quite big. smaller than ramshackle but it looks more regal and clean. you're almost jealous. the food was good, there wasn't a lot of meat. mainly vegetables. 

the most you could do was escape to the front porch to ignore their never ending remarks. your phone in your hand as you engage in small, admittedly idiotic talk with your two best freinds, seated on a swinging, wooden..swing thing. housewarden collared me again. ace's text read. it provided you with small warmth to fight against glacial temperature.

you smile.

you don't have animal ears like the savanaclaw beastmen but you can almost hear a pair of footwear crunching in the snow. then there's a pair of shoes entering your vision. you look up and--

"leona?"

"this party's boring, let's go." he doesn't acknowledge the fact that he basically stood you up for like an.. hour or two? you always knew he was prideful. instead he engaged in a minute length staring contest. until he slouches his shoulders and sighs in defeat. "fine, have it your way."

silence.

"you know I set up an alarm, I missed it." you blink and stare at him from your peripheral vision, it looks like he's going to continue. "can ya believe that? I'm disrupting my sleep for you. tch, so don't act so sad when I've gone through all the trouble. all right?"

".. you don't need these losers anyways. all you need is me."

you stay quiet when he sits down beside you, spreads his legs and slides his arm behind you, stretching. like he owns the house. the swing creaks under his weight.

it doesn't feel so cold anymore. "I'm here now so you owe me." you shake your head. the whole thing was basically pointless but you were too happy to end the whole pretending thing. "what do you want.?"

he grins. "you."

you gawk. "huh?!"

me after writing the last part..👩‍🦽

azul ashengrotto — when you’re too curious for your own good so you strike up a deal.

"to sum it all up, you would like an experience?" azul hums. the slightest tip of his hat casts the ever mysterious persona over his face, making it more eery.

you blankly nod. a bit embarrassed to admit that you've come to him for the silliest of reasons: to experience a relationship to the full extent.

you weren't that desperate. just.. curious. you know what they say don't you? curiosity kills the cat.

azul assumes a confident look. "hehehe.. I can do that, aren't i so kind." for I, am gracious.

woah is this some kind of deja vu..

this time around, after learning through your past lessons. you've skimmed every part of the contract for any loop holes that might and will be used against you.

oh.. this whole thing was a grand plan was it? to get you to be his anemone.. servant? but wasn't he banned by crowley from ever using his unique magic? perhaps there's still some kind of catch that you haven't caught on yet. you cast one more suspicious look at the smiling azul before signing your signature on the very bottom.

anyhow, the details of the contract was for azul to help you experience a relationship. in return you'll be an additional help, whenever. if he needs a helping hand you'd be inclined to aid him.

there was this absolutely embarrassing silence that made you want to self destruct. because he's just there smiling like nothing is wrong as he tucks the contract into his... sleeve? what the hell how could that fit in there. 🙁

you shake your head just as he extends a hand towards you. when you look up he displays you an awfully charming grin. "shall we?" you take his hand. "where are we going?"

"I must not let a lady walk by herself, no? even it isn't night. it is still dangerous."

it was first thing in the morning when you set out to octavinella since you knew azul would be up anyways, plus there were less students around the campus. even your grim was fast asleep in the mornings, you'd have to go back quickly if you don't want him to make a fuss about the lack of breakfast. not that crowley provided you with it anyways..

when you arrive in ramshackle. grim is already on the front porch, looking gravely hungry. his ears perk up when he catches sight of you. and then droops again when he sees azul on your side, to him. looking very suspicious as always. "hey you! what're you doing with my henchman!" grim screeched. obviously still scarred from his previous experiences that weren't so pleasant with the octavinella dorm leader.

you had to restrain grim before he could start tearing up azul's coat.

the first week is relatively normal. and azul actually makes it so that you feel as though you're actually in a relationship with him. but you've both come to an agreement that the affection will remain to a certain 'professional' extent, as he is not entirely comfortable with it. which you've come to learn, he isn't used to it.

you once accidentally bumped shoulders with him when you were sitting on a long chair with a few other students, his glasses fogged up for some reason, his face was tinged pink and he jerked back so far that you thought he actually hated you for 10 seconds straight.

he kind of stayed more hyper aware of his surroundings after that.

I kind of got off topic so let's continue the whole thing going around the first week.

azul has made it possible to organize some kind of dates, exclusively only ever happening whenever he's sure that both of your schedules align. It's surprisingly a daily occurrence since the first and second year's schedule are pretty much the same. (if I'm wrong please inform me.)

it wasn't too long before the tweels found out. maybe a couple of days after you've made the deal with azul. after the promise of floyd leaving him alone if he'd tell them why he's acting to affectionate with the prefect of ramshackle, which ends up with floyd looking a little disappointed and jade, bemused.

"ehh.. that's too bad, I thought you actually charmed shrimpy.. your game is weaker than I thought."

"excuse me?!"

"fufufu.. most entertaining, azul looks flustered."

after more comments from floyd. azul eventually makes a promise that he will absolutely charm you to fall in love with him merely out of spite of his childhood freind. and you're just confused why he's taking the whole thing a lot more seriously.

second week is filled with vigorous efforts of azul trying to woo you after doing excessive research of your own interests. he isn't usually so fired up over floyd's teasing as he'd basically grown up with it, but for some reason he is?

you're just confused why he's suddenly so determined to treat the whole thing more seriously than before. you don't exactly find the sudden change unpleasant, just a little suspicious as to what made his transition so apparent.

you always 'accidentally' bump into azul at the most convenient times. it usually happens whenever a class had ended and there isn't another for a while. azul just smiles and invites you to sit with him for lunch. which is a suprise since he was so adamant on keeping the deal under wraps.

you could only sit beside him. silently weeping at the prying stares many had thrown your way. the twins ended up sitting in your table (you could've sword azul's glasses cracked when floyd separated you two and sat in the middle of you and azul)

jade only displays a cool, menacing smile as usual.

by then you'd gotten unusually close with the trio. finding out things you hadn't even assumed, like how azul seems so aggressive with the twins sometimes out of goodwill. now you have a pair of lowkey protective eels and a stupefied octopus that can help you for a price scam.

being friends with them had its pros, came with it was the cons. which included several of the students that tried to be freindly with you being less talkative, suddenly paling in the middle of the conversation. (unkownst to you about the two glowering eels behind you)

the possessiveness is given by all three of them. for a reason still unknown but you're still skeptical.

the information that this whole thing is just playing pretend would most likely be tucked neatly in the back of your mind. where you'd admittedly forget for a few moments, too deep to escape from the temporary loneliness and certainly too real to register that it isn't.

here's the thing. azul is absolutely great at deceiving, you're already aware the moment you learned just how many contracts he'd 'earned'.

and unfortunately for you. there was a time where you'd actually thought he genuinely loved you because the way his eyes just.. sparkle, crinkling up and the soft smile.. you just rather shake your head and convince yourself that it wasn't real, it never was.

"thank you for your help, as promised. I'll help out with whatever you need as payment."

azul's brows creases. "wha—oh.. ahem. I see, much appreciated. let's talk about the details later." he nods. uncharacteristically quiet.

there is a moment of silence before he speaks up again, looking more confident than ever. "just wait a second. would you like to extend the deadline?" you blink in bewildered and gape like a fish.

so all you could muster up was a small. "huh?" where was this going and where did he get the idea? you can almost feel your heart just about to swim away! the offer is so tempting but you aren't sure about what he wants..

you shake your head. "for um.. how long?"

he smirks. "forever."

okay I lowkey got embarassed writing that so bye 👋👋

🏷 : @dicetheroll @ravynous @gh0stbastard

#ㅤ◜◡◝ . . signed ! #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst fluff #twst headcanons #twst scenarios #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #x reader #x female reader #riddle x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #twst x you #twst imagines

[olderthannetfic]

Reading for Context

I don’t really feel like scrolling through community profiles has taught me anything. People tend to just post normal tumblr posts and not tirades about shipping. I was told to just scroll OTNF go understand, but OTNF’s feed is just screenshots from a K-drama and idiots pestering him about pronouns for some reason. Is there like a specific way to do it? So… i’ve actually never understood the social conventions of other people in any group i’ve been in. I haven’t really had in real life friends since middle school.

This is actually kind of an interesting question.

First, let me be plain, what you've been asking repeatedly over the last couple of weeks or however long it's been is this:

How does a neurodivergent person who fundamentally is not good at social nuance, reading comprehension, and picking up on context get better at those things?

I've known people whose parents hired coaches to work with them on a weekly basis for years. "How does socializing work?" is not a simple question.

Teaching reading comprehension is hard too.

I vaguely remember a lot of times in school where English teachers spent whole semesters trying to get us to understand not only what figurative language meant in context but how to detect that it was present in the first place. I still remember this one 9th grade classmate wailing "But why does it have to be a metaphor?"

What you're asking about is something most people work on for decades, yet you want randos to summarize it simply in a few sentences.

--

The first thing that jumps out at me here is the superficiality of how you're describing engaging.

When people say to lurk, they're talking about a deep engagement with a community. They're talking about reading closely, including comments, for a month, not scrolling back through a week and just skimming the top-level posts.

Did you open the replies on my tumblr posts where other people besides me are discussing things? Did you look at the reblogs with content, and not just the ones I reblogged back onto my own tumblr?

Beyond the exact number of days you should read or the exact procedure, people are talking about a very in-depth kind of engagement in general. The point is that it's difficult to just come into a new space and know how it works without studying it.

For example, I talk about oldschool fanfic stuff a lot. A logical default assumption is that I'm a woman. Are you not familiar enough with fanfic spaces to assume that, or are you coming from Spacebattles or something?

Why on earth would you default to 'him'?

I'm not insulted: it just shows a staggering lack of clue about the context you found me in.

I've linked you to my patreon where you can see my pro writing pseudonym, which is obviously female. My tumblr itself links to my pro writing and gives my actual name, which is also fairly obviously feminine. I've also recently talked about being pregnant. Yes, it was oblique and I only confirmed it in the replies, not a top-level post, but plenty of regulars noticed. (Yes, yes, biology is not gender, but still...)

There are plenty of clues I'm not a "him", but you missed them all. I don't care about pronouns, but I do care about people who don't bother to or aren't capable of reading closely.

Quite a few people have sent me asks asking what I'm watching. I have repeatedly said that it's DMBJ and described it as "the Chinese tomb raider franchise". Yet you assumed it was Korean for some reason. This suggests that you just scrolled through quickly and did not actually thoroughly read the text of the posts or the replies. It suggests that your eyes skipped over the boring-looking short text posts in between the picspams.

It suggests you didn't bother to google what I was watching when I did say the name because you don't give enough of a shit to bother. That doesn't suggest a very high level of interest in my blog or any reason I should cut you any slack or pay attention to what you think.

It also suggests that you didn't look back all that far. I've been posting a lot about DMBJ, but I only started downloading Ultimate Note on July 15th and Tomb of the Sea on August 1st.

--

If you want to understand a community, scrolling hurriedly through one month of content and not actually reading it closely is insufficient.

This is what people mean when they say you're not willing to put in the work and want other people to do it for you.

[hermespie]

ehehe i wanna send in a silly matchup req for your valentines event!!! could you give me a genshin impact boy pleeeaaase? :)

my pronouns are she/her and im a silly little enfp.

personality wise im a huge extrovert who loves making friends everywhere I go.. lol people tell me that I could befriend a tree if i wanted. im always drawn to introverted people because i hate seeing someone quiet and lonely lol. i also tend to be a bit of a goof. i like making people laugh. i get really invested and interested in other people's interests and i pick up a bunch of different things to be able to bond with people i meet.

im very much a talker, i can talk people's heads off if it's about something im interested in. I'm basically very energetic at all times. I can never take things seriously and most of the time i really need someone to reel me back in and tell me if i need to be serious or not.

despite all thattt, under certain extreme conditions, my social battery can run dangerously low, and sometimes i need to sit in silence to chill out for a bit. im also the type of person to speak up for others but never myself lol. im a little bit of a pushover in that regard.

my hobbies, i love singing and music and dance with my entire soul. poetry is also something that i love reading, as well as photography. i do a little doodling on the side too!!!! i love writing and history and sometimes i even enjoy a little math.

but..thats all I can think offfff! have funnnn with this oneeee hehehe >:)

HIII omg I'm so excited to see another fellow ENFP! It's like looking myself in the mirror while reading your description ( nah cuz fr)

Thank you for participating in my Valentines Day event and taking your time to write this! Let's see what we can deal with here <33

#GENSHIN IMPACT MATCHUP

I match you up with......

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

Credit: Official art

I took a long time thinking about it, and this is the result I had!

Heizou is not an easy person to easily get along with, so I could see that your first encounter with him would be quite awkward at some point. I could see him purposely avoiding you when you're in your extreme extrovert mood as you keep on finding ways to bother him.

But I think after days after days 'trying' to avoid you, instead of completely neglecting you and mind his own business, he starts to find out interesting parts about you and got to know you better.

Like how you suddenly drain out of energy and just sits down below a tree and mind your own business. It's really interesting for Heizou to see you out of your extrovert mood. And we all know Heizou loves random mysteries he discovered.

Having a relationship with Heizou would actually be very entertaining. The two of you would have an absolute fun with each other joking around and pranking people. Probably something like run up to a random person and yell "tag, you're it!" and create confusion.

Something also tells me that Heizou's love language is quality time. He likes to look at you when you're both just doing nothing and stares at your eyes. He also likes to hear your rambles as if it was an opportunity for him to get to know you better, kinda similar like getting clues for a detective case or some sort.

Heizou is a person that is fun, but doesn't lack intelligence. So you don't have to worry if you can't read the room sometimes, cause Heizou would remind you about it respectfully. He is quite reliable on serious times, so it's fine to be yourself around him.

For him, you're his endless mystery and he just loves to spend time with you, no matter if its just a normal night having dinner with you or a grand event. And I think the two of you could actually get along pretty well!

Thank you for reading till this far! I hope you enjoyed it <33 likes and reblogs are appreciated!

#Event #Valentines day #Match up #Genshin impact #shikanoin heizou #Heizou

[trashprinceward]

Lack of interaction bothers everyone, you're not saying things that don't make sense. It hurts and it's relatable. Problem is that the more you complain about people not interacting, the faster they'll leave. For example, its not true you never had fanart of your AUs. I remember when you got both text and art for it. You still do sometimes. Less than I could say about me myself, you know? Or many others in this community. You're lucky because you are one of the few people who can say this happened to them. Everyone wants it. You had it and yet you complain it's not enough. It's normal that people who did, might not feel appreciated by you anymore. Because you don't seem to remember it. Sometimes you make comments about how weird it is that people don't like the way you draw Faith characters, but at the same time you jab at those who draw John or Garcia looking too slim for your standards. Or too young. Once a person got nervous, tagging the fandom and telling them to stop drawing John in ships with old men. You didn't like to read that, rightfully like many others. Because people draw what they like. And yet you tag in the fandom and say things like "finally people stop drawing him as a twink! He's not one!" as if you are the only right one here. Maybe they also use their bodies as reference. You're angry and you don't realize you hurt people with what you say. You also talk about how you want your ship to be liked more but people like what they want. Insisting won't change anything. You act like you're the only unlucky one with nobody posting John and Garcia. If people don't like it, you can't make them like it. Which isn't even true, since there are many fan fictions out there on AO3. How many did you link on your page, saying "hey, fellow followers, go read this one!" to give them a hand? How many fan art did you draw for those people who like a ship you say to be less famous? There are people out there that I've seen liking ships I don't even care about who support each other. Such small ships that are even hard to consider. They don't attack, they don't insist. Criticizing Garyjohn and having people leave happened because not many like to have something they like criticized, people get touchy. But it also depends on how you write it. For example I don't care about Garyjohn. I don't even like it, I just shrug and ignore exactly as I shrug an ignore Johncia, because yes. I don't like it. Yet I followed you. Neither are ships I like but that infamous thing that happened some days ago on AO3 made me very angry too. You never did something like that. But you won't decide how sensitive a person is to things they like. About the pillows, it was an investment you decided to do by yourself. I don't know how many people wanted it, how many didn't see it. But it's not always other's fault if your art doesn't get reblogged, if you didn't reach enough people. I don't know how marketing works. I don't know how you guess how many people might be interested or not. This time it went poorly, and it hurts. But it's not our fault. And, we never wanted you to get hurt from drawing too much. Yet you had to almost make us all feel guilty because of that. Because you got hurt. I didn't want you to get hurt. I never told you to work faster and harder.

Happy ides of March everyone!

[munstysmind]

Hello, I am responding to the last post you reblogged about CJ. Some of us feel this sums up our feelings for her. She is demanding and selfish. She got a follower on Wattpad and posted their profile page on here, demanding they interact with her. That is not normal behaviour. Do you see anyone else posting demands and profiles everytime they get a follower on Wattpad? An anon speaks to Bunny and you and CJ are basically threatening the anon, because they were jokingly their little secret friend. She is always moaning people don't interact with her and her fictions but openly admits she doesn't read it other people's fictions. She doesn't reblog people's stuff hardly. It's always me me me me me me with CJ. She doesn't care other people have lives and problems of their own. She is like a child throwing her toys out of the pram. All she wants is spoonfed attention all the time. Don't you feel exhausted by it? I do and I am only watching from the sidelines.

You don’t know any of us so you can fuck right off.

She didn’t demand anyone interact with her, she invited them to come say hi if they wanted to.

The thing with Bunny is an INSIDE JOKE but go off an have a tantrum because you’re not privy to it.

Are you going to tell every single author on this platform talking about lack of interaction from readers and mutuals to suck it up??

I love how you’re acting like someone venting and talking their mind on a social media platform means she doesn’t give a fucks about what’s going on in people’s lives 🤣🤣

There’s a simple solution to your problem, it’s called the block button. Maybe you should utilise it so you’re not bothered with CJ’s existence.

I suggest you do the same to me because what you’re not going to do is come into my inbox and act like you’re doing me a favour by badmouthing someone. 

#munstysmind #inbox #wtf anon #bye ✌🏻

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Midnight Mission

Character: Marc Spector / Mr. Knight / Steven Grant

Pairing: Marc Spector/Mr. Knight x Fem!Reader

Inspired by: Inolvidable - Laura Pausini

Mentions: About DID

Warnings ⚠️: Conversation between identities. Talk about emotions. Fluff. Funny. Sad moments. Marc/Steven is Mr. Knight. Based on the comics of Moon Knight (2021). Hurt. Mentions of side characters. Site in London. Post!Endgame.

Part: 1 | 2 | 3

Tags: @dreamingaboutyousworld

Author's Note: Hello! Hello to everyone! I hope you're doing well!

First of all, I want to say thanks you for all the likes and reblogs in my fics. It's amazing all the love thought your likes, it means so so much. Thanks really. ❤️

Let's go to the important thing: This is the last part of the three-part fic that I've start writing in november when the first teaser of Moon Knight's out.

So... It's special for me. I'm so grateful that my fics with this special human likes you so so much.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that this fic likes you and thanks again.

Ps: If you want to be tag, just tell me!

Ps2: Maybe I'll post something later... A surprise.

XOXO 😘

A veces me pregunto si yo viviría igual sin ti, no sé si yo sabré olvidarte

Y en un instante puedo ver que tú eres cuanto yo soñé, inolvidable para mí...

- What are you doing here?

His tone of voice changes and the friendly tone with which he greeted me just a few seconds ago disappears to show his considerable annoyance at my presence.

I try to focus on it and not on feeling like even a broken heart breaks even more. It didn't take me long to look for him, but it was somewhat difficult to come here and face him.

- I already told you, we are going to talk.

- I hope you'll excuse my lack of tact, but I have nothing to talk to you about, girl.

- The lack of tact doesn't bother me, what does bother me and I won't allow it is that you dare to treat me like a stranger because I know you know very well that I'm not - Mr Knight turns around while I hear him murmur a long list of curses and when he turns, his brown eyes seem to shine with anger, until they turn white - Now tell me, what do you want me to call you?

- As you want...

His indifference makes my anger increase with each passing second.

- I didn't think you'd become a reverend idiot.

- ... But I would prefer that, if I have a choice, you call me Marc. I feel a little more comfortable with that name. At least for now.

I hear footsteps in the distance and see Marc move just a few inches to the side of me to see behind me. He shakes his head and the footsteps begin to recede.

- I see that at least you haven't lost your manners. That makes me happy.

He shakes his head as he walks over to the wall-mounted bookcase and grabs a book from her as if he really thinks he's going to read while I'm here.

- What do you want to talk about? -He doesn't even turn to see me when he blurts out those words.

- You know what... You never came back.

- I never thought to do it.

Another blow to the remains of my heart and I think this was a mistake. A serious mistake that would only make me hate the memories I still had of Steven...

- And Steven?

- He has nothing to do here. He agrees with what I decide.

- Because you are him and he is you.

He closes the book quickly making me jump at the noise in the silence.

- Are you into tongue twisters now?

- You remember me - I feel that my heart beats for a few seconds faster than normal but he stops noticing the change in his voice.

- I never said that.

- You know very well who I am.

- If you come to waste my time, you can go.

He indicates the door for me as he folds his arms and waits for me to leave. I drops my bag on the small chair in front of me, as well as my jacket, and I get into his position.

- I will not continue talking to you with the mask on, take it off.

- Forgive me?

- Don't be a damn coward and take off your mask, Marc. Or else I'll believe that you don't have many differences with Steven. If he hadn't, he would have taken it off, but out of shame. You don't even have that. Because you are not equal to him, right?

- I will not do it.

- At least if you are going to reject me one last time have the courage to do it while I see your face like this I will never come back here again.

He doesn't make a move at my words, at my little tantrum, but all I get is more silence. A silence that does nothing but drive me crazy.

I'm fighting for you, Steven. I'm fighting for you, Marc. Can't you see?

- Do you know what hurts me the most about all this? Seeing you with several people on the street as if nothing happened, as if everything was normal for you while I see everything from afar and realizing that you have tried with all of them, with each and every one of them, except with me.

- It is not true.

- You didn't even come back for me - I feel the tears begin to accumulate in my eyes and I take a few steps back at the same time that I feel that being in that room with him begins to suffocate me. I see that something in his body changes and when he tries to get closer I shake my head as I get closer to the door - Even if it's to say goodbye.

- Yes I did - his voice sounds very low, the closest thing to the whisper of the wind in a silent night. I wipe my tears as I try to assimilate his words and I see that he drops his shoulders in a clear sign of surrender.

- What?

- What if I came back for you... That day I found you leaving work, you weren't there because of what had happened with the police. He had come looking for you... Rather, he had come to see you. I have since the last time I saw you at the bus incident. I take care of accompanying you home whenever I can, without you noticing my presence. I needed to know that you were okay.

- Why?

- I won't answer that.

- Be honest with me this time, Marc. My heart broke into a thousand pieces when you walked away from me that night, when you thought you could hurt me and still you didn't. And it hurt like hell because I fell in love with Steven, I mean I fell in love with you. And seeing that he was destroyed inside, that what was left of him vanished before my eyes and would not come back killed me inside. I was so afraid of you Marc. That you were some kind of monster that would only kill what Steven was but now I just see that you are a man who is afraid of facing his emotions.

- Steven walked away from you that night, and Steven never really existed.

- It is not true. Steven is a part of you, Marc. And I also know how your disorder manifests itself. And if you recognize me, he means that he is still a part of you.

- And what did you expect then?

- That, if there was still something of Steven in you or if you care at some point, you would have the consideration to integrate me into your life. Or at least tell me you didn't want me in it anymore.

- Kayleen...

- I'm sorry, Mr Knight. I didn't want to waste his time with the delusions of a broken heart and in love. Enjoy your evening and sorry to interrupt your work.

"Don't let her go like Layla, Marc. Make her stay. She's fighting for us, please."

Steven's voice echoed in Marc's head, and he was met with an anguish that only made him weaker than he already was.

"I want to protect her, and if you do too, you should let her go"

"I can't take her away from me anymore. And I know you can't either... We'll fight for her, for once let's fight for something we want"

Marc remains silent and as soon as I cross the threshold of the door, before the attentive gaze of his secretary, I feel some steps behind me.

- Don't go.

I close my eyes thinking if I should turn or not, but hearing an exclamation from the lips of the young woman next to us, I turn and find myself with that face that I had learned to discover in the darkness that surrounds it.

I try to keep my heart from pounding at the sight of it, but I fail to find her brown eyes meet mine, and see that fearful gleam that accompanied Steven's gaze every day.

- Don't go, Kayleen.

- Don't ask me to stay if you're going to walk away later - He advances a couple of steps and I feel that the young woman next to us lets out a kind of annoying noise - Who asks me to stay, you or Steven?

He pauses for a second to look at the young woman at the small desk, his eyes indicating the door to her.

- I have not said anything.

- Reese, go out for a while, please - The young woman opens her mouth to protest but when she sees her look, she just lets out a sigh and takes her things - Thank you.

- I'm leaving because I don't want to see how you crawl. Because you will - She take her bag and her cup with the suspicious liquid - By the way, you look good without the mask.

Marc flashes a smile and shakes his head as Reese walks past us and out the front door before closing it to give us privacy.

- Please answer me. Is it you or Steven?

He hesitates for a few seconds but hesitates before reaching out his hand and taking mine in both of his.

- Both of them.

I nod, enjoying the contact and trying to focus on the fact that I don't know Marc at all, but I can tell he's not that much different than Steven.That he is afraid of relating as well as new emotions.

- We wanted to protect you. Don't keep hurting you - his voice drops a few decibels to a whisper, reminding me of Steven when he was scared or told me about his sleepless nights - If I got close to you, it was likely that our enemies would target you. We didn't want that for you.

- Couldn't you have said that to me?

- It is difficult to know how a person will react when you tell them that there are several other people inside my head.

- You forget a tiny detail - I shake his hand making him look at me and I shrug my shoulders, dismissing it as important - Steven had already told me.

- That idiot...

- Just like you - I let it a sigh - I reported, researched and even asked my father's colleagues for help on the DID, everything so that when you came back you would know that it was there for you. Imagine my surprise when they never came back.

- You were expecting Steven.

- I was waiting for you both, Marc. I knew that maybe you were nothing compared to Steven but... I wanted to meet you, to know about you and to see what I could do so that you would let me be part of your life.

- It's a dangerous life as you will see.

- Yes, but that will be decided by me. If you let me be a part of it.

He remains silent for a few seconds, the most eternal of my life, and when he takes a deep breath, he entwines my fingers between his covered in that soft white fabric.

- Do you still want to be part of our life?

His voice reminds me of Steven for a second and I let out a laugh as he smacked his chest with my free hand.

- Yeah, silly. But why would I'd be here?

I hold back from crying but I feel tears begin to trickle down my cheek as he reaches up and wipes away several of them.

- You took too long, Spector.

- You said it, I'm an idiot.

I pull away as we both laugh and hold out my hand as I feel like the air can be cut with a dull knife.

- I'm at a disadvantage. You know me... I don't know you so much.

He smiles to take my hand and pull me until I'm only a couple of steps away from him.

- Mr. Knight does not usually socialize with his clients so intimately but in this case, I can made an exception. I'm Marc, Marc Spector. And I'm not even close to Steven.

- I know - I say between laughs as I try to move away but his grip doesn't allow it.

- You don't know what you're getting into, darling - his voice changes and the tone is much more like the one he has when he has the mask on. And for a moment, I feel a chill run through my entire body.

- I want to find out.

- You won't like what you find.

- Let me decide that.

#marvel cinematic universe #marvel #fanfic writer #moon knight #marvel fanfiction #steven grant #marc spector #moon knight disney+ #moon knight x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #marc spector x you #mr knight x reader #mr knight #steven grant imagine #marc spector imagine #i write for myself but you can read it too

[deusluxuria]

[badly edited image of johnny's head edited onto a stock photo of a person holding up a stop sign]

Hi, it's me, a disabled person.

Here's some basic info because of some worrying things I see in the JJBA fandom in regards to Johnny and other disabled characters.

Reblogs are very much encouraged and appreciated, by anyone of any group (meaning, yes, you can reblog this if you're not disabled).

Image text:

ABLEISM

a-ble-ism \ 'ābə-,li-zəm \

noun

A system that places value on people's bodies and minds based on societally constructed ideas of normality, intelligence, excellence, desirability, and productivity. These constructed ideas are deeply rooted in anti-Blackness, eugenics, misogyny, colonialism, imperialism and capitalism.

This form of systemic oppresion leads to people and society determining who is valuable and worthy based on a person's language, appearance, religion and/or their ability to satisfactorily [re]produce, excel and "behave."

You do not have to be disabled to experience ableism.

a working definition by Talila "TL" Lewis*; updated January 2021

*developed in community with Disabled Black & other negatively racialized people, especially Dustin Gibson

__________

These are some ableist slurs: crippled/crippling, retarded, demented, deranged, diffability, handicapped, handicapable, cretin, moron, inane, mental (as a non-medical adjective)

Some ableist language: wheelchair bound / bound to a wheelchair / confined to a wheelchair, lame (in reference to a disability), invalid (as a noun), psychotic (as an adjective), autistic (as an adjective), mute (to describe a nonspeaking person)

More ableist slurs & language usage, and more about ableist language:

https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html?m=1

Some disabled people not being bothered by some of these words/terms doesn't mean these words are less harmful or dehumanizing for other disabled people.

Just because abled people have normalized this usage of language doesn't make it okay.

Getting rid of ableist slurs & ableist language usage isn't the most important thing & it's not gonna get rid of ableism, but it's important & helpful to think about.

Some disabled people prefer identity-first language and find it empowering (i.e. I'm disabled / a disabled person). Some strongly prefer person-first language ("person with a disability").

Being disabled is not a tragedy. It's ableist to pity a disabled person solely because of the fact they're disabled.

Disabled people do have sex. -- Also, when it comes to talking about ableism & the infantilization / dehumanization of disabled people in regards to sex, the term is "desexualized," not asexual. Asexuality is an identity. Desexualization is to talk about someone in a dehumanizing way that suggests a lack of sexuality, in contradiction to the person's own sexual identity. (I.e. suggesting a disabled person does not have sex or does not experience sexual desire on account of the fact they're disabled).

Disabled people are not objects. You need our consent before you touch us or our belongings and mobility aids (i.e. wheelchair, cane).

Some disabled people need to use diapers, catheters, colostomy bags. Some disabled people can't shower/bathe/generally look after their hygiene as often or as well as some people's standards. Making fun of this is ableist.

Disability is not privilege, it's the opposite. (Yes, even if you can't work and get to fight with the government so they can give you some pennies every month while graciously restricting you from being able to get married or afford a house or even a 1bedroom apartment if you want them to keep throwing pennies at you).

A disabled white supremacist / fascist / bigot is still a white supremacist / fascist / bigot.

Do not compare marginalizations. As in, don't compare ableism & racism (i.e. this [ableist thing] is like when [racist thing]). Unless you yourself are part of all the marginalized identities you're comparing. Otherwise, doing this is exploitive to the marginalized groups you're comparing to.

If you're not disabled, you don't get to speak for us or decide what's ableist and what isn't.

We have a big community on Twitter if you want to know more. We post under the hashtag "#DisabilityTwitter"

Thanks!!

#kinda long but yknow...... #steel ball run #johnny joestar #disability tag #n'doul jjba #daiya higashikata #stardust crusaders #jojolion #jean pierre polnareff #golden wind #vento aureo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #ableism

[whyyoudothistomecavill]

Don't - Chapter 1

Hello everyone! This is my first time writing fanfiction. Chapter one is an introduction to the kind of relationship the characters have and, in future chapters I will fill in the gaps left in this part.

But first, let's see how this one goes.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

I took the name from a song written by Jewel. Go and listen to it. Trust me, after the first verse, THAT person will pop in your head. Never fails.

Before we jump in, there's a few people I need to thank:

@littlefreya for helping me with the editing since I don't have a beta yet, for encouraging me knowing what a big deal this is for me, and for all the things you already know. I'll always be in your debt.

@mary-ann84 for making me feel welcome since day one and putting up with me and my annoying questions at any time of day. Girl, you deserve an award for patience.

@radaofrivia for taking the time to read my ramblings and giving me the reassurance I needed. For showing up out of nowhere when I was almost defeated by my lack of tumblr comprehension and explained everything to me with the patience of a kindergarten teacher. Greek god Henry sent you my way, I have no doubt.

There aren't words enough to express how big of an inspiration all of you are to me. To be able to call you my friends, fills my heart with extreme joy and gratitude. So again THANK YOU.

I took the liberty to tag some people, to some I asked for their permission, to others I didn't, so if this bothers you in any way, just message me and I'll fix it, there's absolutely no obligation and I won't be offended.

With that being said, let's get to the point.

Title: Don't

Pairing: Henry x female reader.

Word count: 1682

Warnings: Angst, fluff, and if you squint your eyes you might find a bit of smut.

Summary: Henry and reader are a couple living together for 1 year. Reader have struggled with self esteem issues and insecurities her whole life and when she met Henry, she thought she had left all that in the past, but certain events made her realize that her soul is far from being healed.

Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction written by me. Please don't post it anywhere else without my permission. Reblogs here are welcomed of course. Thank you.

"Are you ok, darling?"

"Yes, honey"

"Are you sure? You don't seem ok"

"I'm ok, Hen," you smiled, "I'm just tired. I wanna get home, have a shower and then go to bed"

He didn't seem convinced but he didn't ask again. The rest of the ride home was silent, you looked out the window and prayed for the strength to act like everything was normal, while he concentrated on the road and hummed along to the radio.

But you knew better. You knew that this man, the most gorgeous man on earth, the man you called your boyfriend, the man every woman (and a lot of men too), thirsted for, was also the smartest, the most affectionate and that he paid attention to every single thing, especially you. He could notice the smallest change in your demeanor, he could tell when something was wrong and this time was no difference. He was just giving you time to process whatever it was upsetting you before you could talk to him, but in no way was he buying the "just tired" bs. And you knew it.

You entered the house and discarded your shoes and purse. Henry was taking Kal out of the car and into the house when you said "I'm gonna take a shower," and quickly rushed upstairs without waiting for an answer, you needed to be alone so desperately.

You got into the bathroom and took your clothes off without even glancing in the mirror, you didn't want to see anybody, much less yourself.

The hot water was bliss to your sore muscles, too bad it didn't make a difference to the pain in your heart. You rested your forehead into the tiled wall and felt the water gently massaging your back and legs. You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the bathroom door being open. Henry was already behind you, his strong hands caressing your back as light as a feather and his mouth on your ear, "may I join you?"

You turned around and looked at him, at those eyes bluer than the sky itself, at those curls that did things to you just by looking at them, and that smile, the most perfect and genuine smile you had ever seen, it was literally impossible not to smile back at him, it was contagious.

He didn't wait for an answer, he lowered himself to put his arms around your waist as you put yours around his neck and kissed you deeply and tenderly. You knew he did that so you wouldn't have to be on your tiptoes to kiss him, he was so damn considerate and perfect it infuriated you sometimes.

So you closed your eyes and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, he sensed the heat in your kiss and grabbing your behind, lifted you up still kissing you, putting your back against the wall. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him and he broke the kiss to look at you, his hair was tousled all over from the water and your hands. His lips were swollen from the kissing and his eyes were dark with lust but also full of love. Oh,so much love.

"What do you want?" He said, "Tell me. What do you need? I'm here, I'm yours".

Something inside of you broke, it was too much. "I want you, Henry. I need you. Now. Inside of me. Please".

He didn't wait for you to ask again, maneuvering you as if you weighed nothing, he made you descend on his length without breaking eye contact, until you were completely full of him. He started to move, slowly and leisurely making you moan and clung to him for dear life.

He didn't know about the battle that was going on inside you. You wanted him to crawl within you and fill the emptiness eating your soul, you wanted to hold him and never let go, you wanted to stop time. Or maybe go back in time, or just disappear. But for the time being you were just grateful for the water running over both of you, not letting Henry notice that your tears were running as well.

Even if you were shattered inside, your body would always succumb to him, there was no point in resisting, and as he kept moving in and out of you, whispering sweet nonsenses in your ear, the orgasm hit you like a thunder lightning crying out his name, his release following moments later triggered by your loud moans.

He held you still between him and the wall while you both recovered your breath, filling your neck with open mouthed kisses.

He lowered you and you held him tightly, putting your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. It always soothed you. You both stayed that way under the shower in silence, until you started to feel the boiling inside you rising again. "I'm gonna get the towels" you said, "I got it" said he and with a swift move of his long arms, he reached for the towels and started drying you, hair first, then your body, slowly, caressing every inch of it and leaving light kisses everywhere his hands would pass.

He was kneeling in front of you, drying your legs and slowly going up, your eyes were fixated on him and his movements, not saying a word. He looked up, saw you staring, and reaching up, caressed your face so softly it made you lean your head in his hand, closing your eyes. It was like time stopped and you were there alone just savoring that moment, keeping it in your memory forever and you couldn't help the single tear rolling down your cheek into his hand...

When you opened your eyes, you saw the look of concern on his face, "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

You needed to make a choice, so you chose the truth. At least the one truth that wouldn't hurt him: "I love you so much".

"And that makes you cry?"

You chuckled a little, "No, I sometimes get overwhelmed by all these feelings, I'm sorry for being so sensitive" you said, wiping your eyes and smiling through tears.

He stood up and crashed your lips with his, taking you by surprise and lifting you up, carrying you like a bride to your bed.

He got in too, cuddling you from behind and you intended to get up to find one of his t-shirts, your go-to pajamas since day one with him, but he stopped you with his arm around your waist and pulled you against him, your back on his chest, your naked bodies molding perfectly together under the sheets.

You clutched his hand in yours, closed your eyes and tried to ease your racing heart.

His voice took you back to reality:

"Look at me, love"

You turned around in his arms just enough to look him in the eyes, and it surprised you to see, his were a little watery too.

"I love you" he whispered. "I love you like I never thought it was possible to love someone. You have brought to my life the hope that my tired heart believed was lost. I want to spend every minute of every day with you and when my work keeps us apart, I can't wait to share with you every detail of my day. You know sometimes..." he paused, smiling and looking away, "sometimes I have to tell myself *get it together Cavill! You're a grown man acting like a teenager*, but that's what you do to me" he said looking at you again and caressing your lips with his thumb, "You're my fuel, my reason, you're my last thought when I go to sleep and my first one when I wake up, and I'm so grateful to have you that sometimes I'm scared to think that I don't express it enough for you to actually get a glimpse of how happy you make me. That's why I might seem a little clingy around you... I love you and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, that I'm always here for you, it doesn't matter if I'm working or doing anything else, you are my priority, ok?"

You were a crying mess by now and watching his red eyes trying so hard not to cry, wasn't helping.

"Ok?" he said again, clearly demanding an answer from you.

But your words wouldn't come out. How? How could you tell him? How on earth was he supposed to imagine that he had chosen the worst possible moment to tell you this?

So again you settled for the truth, the only indisputable truth you could give him, and nodding you took his face in your hands and kissed him, pulling him on top of you.

He engulfed you in his arms and broke the kiss to breathe, you covered his face with light kisses tasting the salt of his tears which only added more sorrow to your battered soul.

"Make love to me," you said against his lips. He looked at you through hooded eyes and went for the spot on your neck he knew drove you crazy.

This was the truth. The fact that when you were together you couldn't tell where each of you ended and the other began. The absolute certainty of loving him with every fiber of your being, knowing you could never love anyone else this much, not even in a thousand lives. You never hid it. It was impossible to...

A few hours later, you were watching him peacefully asleep, his features even more beautiful in the dim morning light. You carefully kissed him and placed your head on his chest, he held you tighter against him and said something that sounded like "I love you". "I love you too" you said, granting him again the truth you couldn't deny.

The unspoken truth however, the one he was about to learn, was that in fact, the one you didn't love... was yourself.

Tag list:

@mary-ann84 @littlefreya @radaofrivia @demivampirew @dancingwendigo @seb-owns-these-tatas​ @viking-raider​ @cruelfvkingsummer​ @cherry-acid​ @achaoticaugust​ @promptandpros​ @ladyreapermc​ @honeychicanawrites​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @chamomilebottom​ @deathonyourtongue​

#henry cavill #whyyoudothistomecavill #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fics #henry cavill fanfic

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi ! It may seem a strange ask since writing a meta on a game story may be unconventional but I saw that you reblogged gifs of The Last of Us recently so I was wondering how did you feel about the story and its bitter ending? (if it doesn't bother you to answer on that, if it does and you want this to remain on your free hobby time it's absolutely okay of course x))

Hello anon!

No problem, I would actually love to talk about the story of the game since I loved it!

Also, I would like to clarify that I have simply watched a playthrough and I have not directly played the game. What is more, I have watched it only once, so I might have lost some details. Finally, I will quote some TV Tropes’ takes on the characters here and there and I will elaborate on them since I agree with some of them.

When it comes to the ending I really liked the final twist and I think it has meaning on multiple levels.

On the surface the final conflict between Joel and Marlene seems to be a conflict between the greater good and the worth of individual lives. Is it right to kill one girl in order to save humanity? Marlene says it is, while Joel seems to argue that it isn’t. However, even if this is a valid reading, I think that there is more going on especially when it comes to Joel and Ellie’s characters.

First of all it is clear that throughout the game Ellie and Joel grow in each other’s direction. On one hand Joel has to learn how wonderful life can be once again through his relationship with Ellie. On the other hand Ellie has to learn how to survive through Joel. They grow so much in each other’s direction that by the end Joel is the one chatting the most, while Ellie is more silent and immersed in her thoughts. This is an interesting contrast especially because in the beginning it was the other way around and Ellie kept trying to interact with Joel who showed her some degree of coldness.

The contrast between greater good and individuals and the two main characters having inverted arcs are the two basic ideas I will start with. In the next paragraphs I will try to explore them a little bit more and to show that they are true only up to a certain point.

JOEL AND SELFISHNESS: A LACK OF FAITH IN HUMANITY

Let’s consider these two scenes:

Tommy: They got a kid, Joel! Joel: So do we!

The story opens with Joel sacrificing strangers in order to protect himself and his loved ones. Sarah calls him out on this, but he argues that they need to think about themselves. However, immediately later, when Sarah is wounded and he needs help the soldiers kill Sarah without showing any pity.

I think that these scenes are interesting on multiple levels.

On one hand they clearly mirror the ending where once again Joel’s “baby girl”’s survival is put at risk by people acting for the sake of the majority of humanity. As a matter of fact the soldiers are ordered to kill Sarah and Joel to stop the infection from spreading, while the Fireflies want to sacrifice Ellie in order to save humanity from the infection. According to this reading, Joel is literally given a second chance to save his daughter through him saving Ellie. In this case, him brutally killing the Fireflies and even Marlene can be seen as him succeeding where he had failed with Sarah. When Sarah was wounded he begged the soldier for help, but he killed Sarah. Because of this, at the end of the game he refuses to show any glimpse of humanity to Marlene and simply kills her to assure Ellie’s survival.

On the other hand one could argue that there is really not that much difference between Joel’s behaviour towards the people begging him to stop the car at the beginning and the soldiers killing Sarah. After all, in both cases there is a person acting selfishly and refusing to show any kind of compassion or humanity towards another person. Joel abandoning those people and the soldiers shooting civilians are things fueled by the same idea that in order to survive you are justified to kill someone else and to only think about yourself. If that is the case, then Joel’s actions in the end do nothing, but re-affirm this same mentality.

According to this second reading, Joel failed to change in a significant way throughout the game. As a matter of fact he starts the game by acting selfishly and ends it by acting selfishly. He puts himself and his loved ones above others both at the beginning and at the end. When I say Joel has not changed, I don’t mean that his behaviour has stayed the same, but rather that he has not overcome what the game presents as his character flaw.

Joel’s character flaw is his lack of hope in humanity. He doesn’t believe in any kind of greater good being it “humanity” or “destiny”. This is shown by him refusing the idea that things happen for a reason and him talking about luck and chance.

His relationship with Ellie is supposed to change him and it does to an extent. Thanks to Ellie Joel manages to slowly overcome Sarah’s loss and progressively becomes more open about it. He becomes also more sociable and by the end he starts dreaming of living a normal life with Ellie. He dreams of teaching Ellie things like swimming or playing guitar and to have long walks with her. He would like to live in a healthier and more stable environment than the one he is in at the beginning of the story. He wants to stop living as a criminal as much as possible and to find a place within a community. In other words he starts wishing to live again instead of just “surviving”.

In short, towards the end Joel shows clear signs of recovery. However, a recovery means that he is just going back to the person he once was and he is not becoming a better one. I would also like to highlight that, despite Joel’s unfriendly behaviour, he has always been very loyal to his loved ones and he has never completely isolated himself. Let me quote this TV tropes entry:

He’s almost never seen without a companion of some sort (whether it’s Tommy, Tess, or Ellie), and on the rare occasions when he is alone, the game makes sure the player feels his isolation, with the goal always being to reunite with whomever he was separated from.

Even if Joel paints himself as a misantrophe he always keeps a loved one close. Even after Sarah’s death he stayed with Tommy and protected him and when Tommy left he stayed with Tess. What is more, he is ready to do almost anything for a loved one to the point that he decides to bring Ellie to the Fireflies to honour Tess’s last wish.

In short, Joel doesn’t need to exactly become more invested in his relationships with others, but he rather needs to be inspired by these others in order to change himself.

This is also why his mission is about bringing Ellie to the Fireflies. After all, within the game the Fireflies represent an alternative to the military. In a sense, they represent the alternative against the people who killed Sarah. However, they are an alternative Joel refuses to embrace because he is too cynical. This is also something which puts a dent in his relationship with Tommy:

Tommy leaves Joel to pursue some kind of hope, but Joel, instead of being inspired by his little brother, refuses to go with him.

So the Fireflies are symbolically “the greater good” and Joel refuses them because of his cynical nature. However, he becomes more open towards them as the story progresses and when he speaks with Marlene he is even open to the idea of some kind of “destiny”:

He is very close to change his opinion about humanity and to find some kind of hope and meaning. However, the moment he realizes the Fireflies want to kill Ellie he immediately goes back to his old way of thinking.

By the end, Joel is back at using the reasoning that he and Ellie are survivors and as such their violence and selfishness is justified. He gives up on the idea of a better life for humanity and chooses to keep surviving with Ellie.

Once again, this choice can be read in two different ways. As stated above, Joel’s choice can be seen as him failing his character arc. However, it can also be seen as “the proof” that since the beginning there was no alternative. In the end the people who oppose the military are still ready to kill Joel’s daughter in order to save themselves/the majority. This is no different from what the soldiers do in the beginning. Does a humanity which is ultimately made up of selfish people deserve to be reborn? Isn’t it better for just individuals to survive with their loved ones as well as they can?

In summary, Joel and Marlene’s conflict in the end can be seen both as a conflict between individual needs and the needs of the majority, but also as symbolic of how human nature is inherently selfish and of how humans will fight to protect their loved ones/what they believe in and they will sacrifice others to do so.

Finally, I would like to highlight how Joel’s final choice is selfish also when it comes to Ellie:

Here Marlene is being a little bit of a hypocrite because she herself has not asked for Ellie’s permission and Ellie’s will would have not changed her decision. That said, it is true that Joel is acting without considering Ellie’s freedom and agency. Both Marlene and Joel disagree on what should be Ellie’s destiny, but they refuse to ask the girl herself. This is because deep down they do not care about what she wants since their two opposing wishes are too strong. This is poignant when we remember that Marlene and Joel are basically Ellie’s parental figures. They are deep down both using Ellie as a tool and, even if they both love her, they are not respecting her as a person.

When it comes to Joel, I think that it is interesting that this is not the first time he enters a conflict with a person he wants to protect:

It is implied that he protected Tommy aka his little brother, but that, as time passed, Tommy became more and more unhappy with Joel and what he was ready to do in order to ensure their survival. In other words, Joel is so determined to keep his loved ones alive that he does not hesitate go against their will to succeed.

In conclusion, Joel is a person who never loses his ability to establish deep connections with others, but at the same time he remains selfish both in how he treats strangers and in how he treats his loved ones. He would sacrifice the formers and keep the latters alive no matter how they feel about it.

ELLIE AND SURVIVAL: FINDING A MEANING

Ellie’s arc is about learning what “survival” is about. This means that she has to learn not only how to practically survive and to grow tougher as the story goes on, but also the dangers of completely embracing a ruthless mindset where there is only survival.

This is why her major enemy is David. Let’s quote once again TV Tropes:

He’s very similar to Joel, in that he invokes “I Did What I Had to Do” as justification for certain questionable actions, and seems a possible candidate for “surrogate father” with Joel missing (at first, anyway), though he and Joel differ in significant ways. Joel tries to be as detached from others as possible, whereas David took it upon him to lead a community; Joel believes that his survival is in part due to luck, whereas David explicitly states that he does not believe in luck; and the reasons they concern themselves with Ellie are pretty much completely opposite. Also, when Joel first meets Ellie, he’s cold and indifferent towards her, while David is polite and friendly. Joel however is a back-and-forth Jerk with a Heart of Gold while David is said Bitch in Sheep’s Clothing.

David is both a physical obstacle Ellie has to face without Joel’s help and a character who embodies the dangers of embracing specific mindsets Ellie is attracted to.

First of all, there is this:

David believes in destiny and in the fact that everything happens for a reason. Ellie doesn’t share this fatalistic worldview, but at the same time she isn’t as cynical as Joel. I think that Ellie expresses how she feels about destiny and a superior meaning when she talks with Sam:

Sam: Henry says that “They’ve moved on”. That they’re with their families. Like in heaven. Do you think that’s true?

Ellie: I go back and forth. I mean, I’d like to believe it.

Sam: But you don’t.

Ellie: I guess not.

n short, she may not believe in it, but she wants to. She wants to give meaning to the pain and the loss she feels.

David and Joel are two extremes when it comes to “destiny”. Ellie doesn’t want to become neither of them and this is why she must find an equilibrium between their two stances.

Secondly, there is this:

“And so do we.”

David’s arguments are very similar to those Joel himself might make. This is why he can initially counter Ellie’s one about her and Joel having no other choice, but to kill David’s men. This argument is not really Ellie’s, but Joel’s and she is repeating it. She doesn’t really find anything to say to David when he answers her using the same mentality because the point of David’s character is also to show Ellie how this mentality is flawed.

In short, David embodies the limits of Joel’s survivalist approach. David is who Ellie could become if she were to stick to this approach without ever questioning it.

At the same time David is a person who tries to strip Ellie of her own agency:

He repeats over and over that he wants to protect Ellie and to keep her alive. However, in order to do so, he tracks her, kidnaps her and puts her in a cage. He doesn’t really care about Ellie as a person, but he simply wants Ellie to do as he pleases. If Ellie were to accept David’s condition she could avoid being eaten, but Ellie strongly fights against this possibility. Ellie decides that her own freedom and her own dignity as a person is more important than simple survival and puts her life at risk in order to preserve them.

Ellie’s fight against David and her eventually killing him represent two things. Firstly it represents Ellie’s loss of innocence since she is subjected both to the violence of another person and to the violence inside herself. Secondly it represents Ellie’s struggle to keep her own agency and her own freedom as a person. It is complicated because killing David is both something she has to do to protect her own personhood, but also something which traumatizes her. This fight and its bitter conclusion represent the difficulty of finding an equilibrium between the need to survive and the need of keeping one’s humanity. Towards the end Ellie is trying to give her own answer:

“After everything we’ve been through. Everything I’ve done.”

However, Joel robs her of the chance of doing so. All in all this is a very interesting twist which gives Joel’s foiling with David a darker nuance and at the same time puts an even more selfish light on Joel’s final actions. Ellie’s arc is about finding and protecting her own agency and Joel’s role should be to guide her. He does so for a while and this is shown through various things. For example, he gives her a gun after some initial resistance and accepts Ellie’s help on multiple occasions. It is also because of this that the trust and the bond between them gets stronger. However, at the very end when Ellie should be given the chance to make her final choice, i.e. the choice which would put some light on how Ellie wants to live and who she wants to become, Joel (and Marlene) steps in and prevents her from doing so.

I hope my thoughts on the ending and on Joel and Ellie’s arcs are clear enough. There would be many other things to discuss. For example, each minor character the two meet (like Bill, Henry and Sam) foils them in some capacity and explores a specific minor theme. That said, I think that when it comes specifically to the final twist this is enough. All in all The Last of Us is a story about love in an apocalyptic world and how this feeling would still survive in such a world. At the same time, it is clearly shown that love has both positive and negative aspects and can bring out both the best and the worst in people.

Thank you for the ask and enjoy the holidays if you celebrate!

#the last of us #ellie #joel #tlou #tlou meta #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

[technicolorxsn]

That moment when you realize that almost non of your art made it into tags and so you have to reupload some of it so people actually see the work you did and maybe just maybe reblog it so other people can see so you actually feel accomplished when you upload art ✌️

#Haha yeah #I'm just #Normally the lack of reblogs doesn't bother me but like #Please? #Spare reblogs? #Perhaps a comment on what you liked? Or if you're polite enough something i need to improve on? #talking

[cami-chats]

I posted 3,935 times in 2021

354 posts created (9%)

3581 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 10.1 posts.

I added 2,065 tags in 2021

#fanart - 497 posts

#me stuffs - 331 posts

#marvel - 195 posts

#shadow and bone - 185 posts

#star trek - 178 posts

#charmed - 172 posts

#stormlight archive - 144 posts

#ds9 - 134 posts

#jatp - 118 posts

#tony stark - 111 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#or have faux adopted children and therefore fulfills a fatherly role in someone's life

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Experiment

Written for @tonystarkbingo

Title: Experiment Collaborator: camichats Card Number: 4049 Link: On AO3 Square Filled: A3-Free Space Main Pairing: T’challa/Tony Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: None Summary: Normally, T'challa would impress the cute guy in his class by being smart, but he didn't know what had gone wrong with their experiment. The fact that Tony had already loudly proclaimed to the professor that he didn't like group projects didn't help.  Word Count: 1,692

21 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 19:35:42 GMT

#4

Abulia

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Tony Stark/Natasha Romanov

Warnings: Perception of an unhealthy relationship

"You really need to stop telling Natasha what to do," Bucky said, arms folded over his chest.

Tony looked over at him with an internal sigh. He didn't feel like having this conversation, in large part because there was no good way to have it. Everything Natasha told him had been in confidence. He couldn't blab about it to Bucky-- or anyone else-- just because he wanted to. He understood that Bucky was concerned about his friend, but Bucky had no idea he was infringing on an understanding that Natasha had asked him for; he thought he was doing a good thing here. 

He couldn't say 'hey, by the way, Natasha asked me to not give her options when we're doing something' because she'd specifically asked for him to keep it between the two of them. He couldn't say 'fuck off' because he didn't want for Bucky to be mad at him and think that there was a deeper problem in their relationship.

"Don't you think that if she had a problem with it, she'd tell me to stop?" Tony ended up saying.

"No," Bucky said bluntly. "She cares about you, and she's afraid she'll lose you if she doesn't act perfect."

"An interesting theory, but it's not true. I can assure you that when she has an issue with me, she says it. Afraid of losing me or not. And shouldn't you have talked to her about this first, to make sure that it bothered her?"

Bucky hesitated.

"You already talked to her," Tony stated, and he nodded. "And she said?"

"To keep my nose out of her business."

"Do I get to know why you ignored that?"

"I don't want her to be hurt. Not that I think you're hurting her," Bucky added. "But- for fuck's sake, Tony, would it kill you to ask her where she wants to eat dinner instead of deciding for her every fuckin' time? Or let her pick what she wants to wear to an event?"

"Again, I'm going to come back to: if she wanted me to stop, she would've said something."

For a minute, it looked like Bucky was going to keep pushing. "I don't want to think you're being controlling," he said slowly, "but I don't see how this is good."

"Good is highly variable," was Tony's immediate response. What had been good for Pepper wasn't good for Natasha, and vice versa.

"If you say so," he muttered, then left.

Tony sighed and reached for his phone and texted Natasha.

From Tony: Bucky doesn't like that I make decisions for you.

From Natasha: Ugh he doesn't know how to let things go. I'll tell him to leave it. Again. If he keeps talking about it, I'll get Clint involved.

That sounded entertaining. Tony was tempted to tell her that Clint should get involved now, but he kept it to himself.

From Tony: Dinner tonight at seven. Italian, because there's a horrible lack of garlic in Steve's cooking. We need to double up on it tonight if we want to survive.

From Natasha: Yum! Looking forward to it <3 

34 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 14:43:53 GMT

#3

Controlled Explosions

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Warnings: Normal superhero shenanigans

Summary: Tony doesn't go out of his way to create explosions. He just happens to be in a lot of situations where things explode, and that's hardly his fault, is it, Steve? 

Five times Tony is the cause of an explosion, and one time someone else tries to be. Written for MTH2020

Read below or on AO3

1. Define 'controlled explosion'

"You said it would be a controlled explosion," Steve said.

"Yeah," Tony said, confused, and still-- if he was being honest-- having a little trouble hearing. He'd been a bit closer to the bomb when it went off than he'd meant to be. "It was."

"That was not controlled!"

At some other time, it would be fascinating to see the differences between Steve in Captain America mode and when he wasn't. When he'd been in Cap-mode, talking to Tony about how setting off the explosion early might be a bad idea, he'd been very calm about it all. Now that he was just Tony's boyfriend, he was kind of freaking out.

Tony blinked at him in confusion. It had been controlled. "The previous location of the bomb would've brought the whole building down. I know you don't really understand chain reactions, but suffice it to say that we saved an entire city block by moving it."

"For fuck's sake, Tony! I told you to go ahead because you made me think it was going to be safe!"

"I never said it was safe. I said that it was safer than letting it go off where it had been placed, which was true."

"You said it would be a controlled explosion!"

"And it was. Maybe you should look up what an uncontrolled explosion looks like," Tony said, patting him on the arm then getting on his tiptoes for a quick kiss before leaving. He needed to take a shower and get some of this grime off. He heard Steve say something in response, but it was too low for him to really make out with his ears still ringing-- and not facing him, so he couldn't read his lips and try to piece it together. He imagined that it was something half-loving and half-derogatory, since that's what Steve usually did when Tony did something dangerous in the field. If it was really important, Steve would say it again.

2. Who knew that artifact would explode?

Despite what some people-- like Steve, Coulson, the rest of the Avengers really-- thought about Tony and his workshop, he did practice safe procedures. What they didn't seem to really understand was that there were situations where he could be safe and shit would still go wrong.

Like this. This was an alien artifact, and Thor was out of contact dealing with royal Asgard business-- presumably; it's not like he'd filled them in, just said that he had to go home and would be back as soon as he could-- so Tony was guessing. He had on thick gloves and goggles, and he wasn't even touching the glowing sphere directly, which was progress that he thought they should be appreciative of. He had tools. Not as easy to work with as his own fingers, but it was still good enough that he'd been able to pry away part of the outside protective, metal shell.

He gingerly placed the tongs on the inside and made to turn it so he could confirm that it was the same all around, but he didn't get the chance. An explosion rocked the workshop, leaving a crater where his table used to be and blowing him halfway across the room.

"Huh," Tony said, then started coughing. Bright side? He still had all his fingers. The tongs he'd been using were vaporized as best he could tell. In fact, everything metal within a foot of the sphere was now gone. Tony's gloves were untouched. He pulled one off and slid the goggles off his face so he could get a better look at them. The lenses were fine, as expected. Most of the components were plastic, but there were a couple places that had metal pins, just to help hold it together. The pins were gone. One firm tug, and the strap would disconnect from the lenses.

Half the team-- the half that had been in the Tower-- came running into the room. Tony gave a half-hearted wave, still coughing.

"What happened?" Natasha asked.

"Well, let's look on the bright side," Tony said roughly, pushing himself to his feet. "I'm still alive." If he'd been closer to it when it went off, it would've taken a chunk out of the arc reactor. Its range had been small enough that he was safe. It was obvious that things hadn't gone as wrong as they could have, so he didn't see why they were looking at him with that much concern. He coughed again. "Maybe I'll call the Fantastic Four to take this one over." He didn't want to, but he hadn't been having any luck with it before it took a bite out of his workshop. If nothing else, it wouldn't instantly kill any of them if they were standing too close. Besides, Reed was pretty good about passing information back to him. And if there was any superhero group he had to work with, he'd choose the Fantastic Four every time.

"Yeah, I don't think that really answered the question," Clint said. "You're lucky Cap's not here, or you'd find yourself wrapped in a blanket before you took another breath."

Tony flipped him off. He should probably go to medical. There hadn't been any smoke, but he was coughing like there had been. What a pain.

3. Oxygen works differently here

Other planets were weird. He could tell, just by breathing, that the air here wasn't what they were used to. The good news was that they were all still alive and were going to stay that way for a while. The Guardians-- short for Guardians of the Galaxy-- were explaining a few things to Steve. Apparently, the villain that had transported them here was one that had beef with the Guardians, and Steve wanted to be prepared in case it happened again.

Tony knew that he was going to have to wait until they were done with the official superhero talk before he had a chance to ask them about atmosphere, gravity, and what it was like to have more than one moon. He also had a few questions about the air, because this was definitely not the cocktail he was used to.

See the full post

35 notes • Posted 2021-04-06 21:54:09 GMT

#2

Having canonically queer characters in Stormlight Archive is tons of fun, but I think it’s made some people in the cosmere fandom take the “Moash is straight” thing a little too much to heart. 

He’s not straight if you don’t want him to be, folks. 

36 notes • Posted 2021-01-26 02:52:57 GMT

#1

I think the Tumblr Consciousness™ made a mistake in saying that The Mummy was a fun movie, but not necessarily a good one. Unless somebody’s an Egyptologist (and honestly, when has there ever been a movie that passed an expert’s opinion of meeting historical accuracy?), I’ve never actually gotten an explanation for why it’s Not Good.

I present to you the theory that it is very good movie, but some of y’all don’t know how to deal with that. 

43 notes • Posted 2021-02-27 14:34:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #i love/hate that it just... ignores my read mores on the fics #i do think it's fun that 3 of my top posts are fics tho #me stuffs

[sakurasangcl]

I posted 6,923 times in 2021

3100 posts created (45%)

3823 posts reblogged (55%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.2 posts.

I added 1,489 tags in 2021

#funny tag - 248 posts

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#skz - 96 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#are you okay? seriously do you need me to call someone? well if you're sure... for you to like a man he must have two of three things: a nic

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞

name: Julia

age: 23

pronouns: she/her or they/them

sexuality: (biromantic) demisexual/queer

timezone: EST

occupation: full time grad student TT

𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬

kpop masterlist

fanfic rec blog

my networks

commissions

request/commission info 

kofi

42 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 05:34:09 GMT

#4

Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

So what does autism "look" like? Can you describe it to me without sounding like a dick? The answer is no. There isn't a physical give of being autistic. While there are common and stereotypical traits such as rocking or flapping, not everyone with autism stims that way.

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

Once upon a time about 20 years ago, yes, autism was only diagnosed in males. Females are also autistic. Often times, it is significantly harder to diagnose. I believe it is similar with ADHD as well. May I kindly remind you of gender roles here? :)

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

While a lack of empathy is a common trait among autistic individuals, some of is are hyper empathetic, such as myself. There is also the issue where if something bad has happened, we just don't process the emotion until later. We can bottle it and save it for later, more so than some of our neurotypical peers. And then as for emotion, we may show it in different ways, but we definitely still feel them.

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and then later a specialist. So yes, I am sure. You are not my doctor, nor do you have any medical expertise. And likely, you hardly know the individual you say this to.

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

While autism is called autism spectrum disorder, it is impossible to cure (also no cure is wanted). Autism is the way your brain thinks, works, and is wired. You can't grow out of something like this. Its not like other disorders that can be cured or healed. The only way to cure it is to have a completely new brain. So I'll keep mine, thank you very much.

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

No. There is a huge myth that autistic people are geniuses like Einstein. Individuals like him (if he even was autistic) are outliers, not the norm. Not all of us are good at math. I'm fact, I seriously struggle at it. I have no "special power." I’m not sure where that comes from, except perhaps over-advocacy?

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

This just... really bothers me. the reason a good portion of autistics come off as “normal” is because we are masking ourselves daily to meet social expectations and behave “normally.” It is mentally and physically exhausting to hide ourselves. We are actively trying to hide who we are so we don’t stick out. I believe ABA therapy is meant to “help” us seem normal, and many autistics are against it. Regardless, “normal” is not something that exists. It is a social expectation created by neurotypicals (and generally white males). Being weird is okay. 

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

People will ask me to stop using stim toys, claiming them to be a distraction even if it is hidden on my lap and quiet. People rudely tell autistic people to stop flapping (a way we show excitement, btw) or to stop rocking. These are often compulsive behaviors that are hard to stop. We can learn to redirect it in a less distracting way because it makes you, the neurotypical, uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable for us to re-learn how to stim. Let us flap when we are discussing our favorite content, let us rock when we are anxious or super excited. We are not hurting you. 

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once. 

“I’m sorry.” 

what. the. fuck. seriously. What the fuck? What are you sorry for? You aren’t sorry, you are expressing pity. It is incredibly demeaning and further serves to infantilize autistic people. I don’t want pity- I want acceptance and understanding. 

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.” 

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

60 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 04:44:50 GMT

#3

pretty please

pairing: jackson x f!reader

rating: pg (they kiss)

genre: fluff, little bit of angst, werewolf au, slow burn

word count: 2,588 I'm sorry I got a little carried away ok?

warnings: mentions of midterms and finals, studying (lol)

summary: your new boyfriend, jackson, turns out to be a werewolf.

author's note: full plot & additional warnings will be linked here (link coming soon), lmk if you'd like to be tagged maybe?

all rights reserved!!

You often found yourself in the library during the day, studying and doing homework or taking a break and watching anime. You had been sitting there for an hour or so, and it was starting to get busy. It always did around midterms and finals; you were just glad you found your own small table to sit at.

You were working on a paper when someone came up, smiling a bit awkwardly. “Hey, would you mind if I sit here? I’ll be quiet, I promise,” He says, hesitating to sit down. He had an accent that you couldn’t quite place, as it only happened with some words.

When you finish the sentence you were typing and look up, you do your best to hide your surprise at how handsome he was. He was absolutely stunning, making you question your own appearance. “Oh, um, sure,” you say, your cheeks flushing with heat as you make room for him.

“I’m Jackson, by the way,” He says as he pulls out the chair and sits, getting himself comfortable across from you.

“I’m Y/N,” you respond, still blushing.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, offering a charming smile as he pulls out his laptop.

The next week at the same time, he showed up again and asked, “Y/N, is it alright if I join you?”

You nod, a shy smile finding its way onto your face. “What are you studying?” you eventually ask him, tilting your head slightly.

“Business,” Jackson says, glancing up at you with a smile. “Actually, it’s my masters and I’m focusing on international business. What about you?”

When you tell him, he listens intently and asks polite questions- the right ones, too. Not the usual ones you always get.

The next week you’re running late and stop at the vending machine to grab your favorite candy. Going to your usual table, you do a double take when someone is already there. You pause awkwardly, only to realize it was Jackson waiting there with a second cup of coffee.

“Oh, hey Jackson,” you say, blushing as you join him.

He smiles at you, pushing one of the cups towards you. “I got you a coffee, just the way you like it.”

You suspiciously tilt your head, taking a sip, only to be surprised that it was the way you liked your coffee. “How did you know?” you laugh, getting out your laptop.

“I know some of the workers,” he sheepishly admits. You laugh and open the candy, offering him some.

“I shouldn’t, I’m on a diet,” he says with a pout.

“Oh, come on,” you scoff, raising an eyebrow.

He playfully rolls his eyes before grabbing a piece.

Soon, every Tuesday you would meet up with Jackson in the library. Before midterms, it became every Tuesday and Thursday until finals, when it was almost every day. It was on one of these Thursdays that he asked you, “Are you free tomorrow?”

You tilt your head, wondering what he was getting to. He seemed to always have plans on Fridays during your normal study time, and you tried not to study too late since the library closed early. “Uh, no, I don’t think so? Why do you ask?” you respond.

“Well, I was thinking that I could take you for a date! If you wanted to, that is…”

You could tell he was a little nervous, and you realized you were staring at him blankly. You let out an embarrassed laugh, nodding. “Yes, sorry, I was just… yes, I would like that,” you admit, shaking your head some.

“Great! I can pick you up after your class tomorrow? Just make sure you dress warm!” he says with a grin.

“You already have a plan? What is it? Tell me~?” you ask, pouting a little bit.

“Nope, it’s a secret!” he laughs, smiling brightly. “You have to wait until tomorrow to know!”

The next day, you woke up early to get ready. You wore warm clothes like he said, and did your makeup cutely but not excessively, especially since it seemed like you would be outside. In class, you were extra fidgety and kept checking the clock. It felt like time slowed, but you knew it was from your anticipation.

Right on cue as class ended, your phone vibrated. Checking it, you noticed a text from Jackson saying he was outside the building.

You all but run out of the classroom down to the parking lot, finding him standing outside grinning.

“Will you tell me what we are doing now?” you ask, giving him your puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe,” he teases, leading you to his car. He opens the door for you and even shuts it, getting in on the other side. “Does hiking sound okay? Then takeout and a movie at my place?” Jackson asks. You see a hopeful glint and the worry in his eyes, and your smile grows.

“That sounds wonderful!” you tell him.

“Great!” he says, starting to drive. “You’ll love it! I go here quite often, and it’s very pretty. I’ve seen some deer and some really neat birds before there.”

“Oh, really? Do you know what kinds of birds?” you ask, curious.

“Well, I’m not sure since they’re not the same as back home, but definitely some owls! I went out later than I should have been that time. And I don’t know if it was a falcon, eagle, or hawk. But those too.”

“I think we have all three here,” you laugh.

“Well, that really doesn’t help identify it any, now does it,” he laughs with you.

“Not in the slightest,” you giggle.

“Well I guess if we see them, maybe you’ll know,” Jackson says, turning onto a gravel road.

“What am I, a bird expert now?” you laugh more.

“No, you’re just a native here,” he responds with a little pout.

“Still not a bird expert,” you point out.

“I know, but you will know better than me,” he reasons.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you say, shaking your head as he parks in a small parking lot.

“We are here!” Jackson says, turning off the car. He leads you over to the map by the trail entrance, glancing at it once before heading down.

“We’ll follow the blue markers this time,” he says, pointing them out on the tree.

“What do they mean? You didn’t give me time to read the map,” you say with a huff.

“They mean we’re going the correct way,” he tells you smartly.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“I know. And there’s nothing you can do about it but follow me and find out,” he teases you, taking your hand and leading you.

You’re both careful not to trip over any of the roots or loose rocks, and you start getting glances of white.

“Is that a river?” you ask, glancing at what looked like ice.

“Uh, maybe,” Jackson responded in an unbelievable manner. Of course he knew, he just wasn’t going to tell you.

Eventually, you made it to more of a clearing. Jackson didn’t even have to point to what it was he wanted to show you. You stood in awe instead.

Winter was definitely there, and you knew that since the little fountains on campus were frozen over. But this, this was a sight to behold. The entire river had frozen over, and what must usually be a gorgeous waterfall had frozen over. The water had frozen against the rocks, sharp spears of it dangerously hanging from the main body of water. You swore if the sun was just right, you could see some of the water on the very inside running down inside the thick, frozen ice.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jackson asks you, his voice hushed. All you could do was nod.

The next Tuesday, you got to the library first. “Want to go on a second date?” you bluntly ask him when he joins you.

He laughs before smiling, nodding. “Of course, I’d love to,” Jackson assures you.

You’re not sure if you can ever end up choosing a favorite date by the time finals end. Your last “date” was taking him to the airport. He was going home for the break, and you wanted to take him.

“I guess this is as far as we can go, huh?” you ask sadly, looking at the security checkpoint.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jackson says, fidgeting with his ticket some as if he were nervous.

“Well, I’m sure everything will go well…” you say, almost more nervous than he was. “I mean, you’ve flown lots of times before, so this shouldn’t be any different…” you start to ramble in an attempt to console him.

He chuckles a little, gently putting his hand on your shoulder before tilting up your chin.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Jackson softly asks, his dark eyes meeting yours.

Your heart leaped in your chest. You thought of him as your boyfriend, but you weren’t sure if you were official or not, so it made you a little nervous. But at his question, your lips smiled on their own, and you nod as much as you can for his hand holding onto your chin. “Yes!” you whisper.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, causing you to blush and nod. Once given consent, he kisses you sweetly.

“I promise I’ll be back soon, okay?” Jackson says as he pulls away and picks up his things.

“Alright… be safe,” you tell him, feeling your cheeks burn.

“I will,” he assures you, kissing your cheek before leaving.

A few days later, when he was over jet lag, you face timed him. You were eating breakfast at the time, and he was eating dinner.

“How are you?” You ask, happy to see him again and hear his voice.

“I’m doing much better now that I get to see my beautiful girlfriend~” he coos playfully, causing you to laugh.

“Okay, okay. How was the plane trip? How are things going back home?” you ask, wanting more details.

“It went well, don’t worry. I am home safe, although it is a bit hectic at times,” he assures you.

“Why is it hectic? You’re on a break~ you need to relax!” you tell him with a huff.

“I know, I know, don’t worry, I am,” he again assures you.

“You better be,” you huff back, pouting slightly.

Just like that, your library dates were replaced with virtual ones. Some days you could only talk for a few minutes, some days you went on for hours. Every now and then, he even would sing you to sleep. You always slept well when he would.

When Christmas came, he ended up sending you a cd of songs he recorded to help you sleep.

When the semester started up again, you would meet in the library Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays this time. You sat at the same table, but also flirted more when you studied. You made sure to keep up your grades, since they were incredibly important to you.

After the initial start up hump of the beginning of the semester, you started to remember something strange about Jackson that you had forgotten or just hadn’t had the time to realize before. It wasn’t quite a gut feeling of danger, but a feeling of something was wrong. He would get sick nearly every month for a few days without fail. In the last week of January, Jackson was out sick for over a week.

The following Monday, Jackson comes back to the library, and you immediately perk up. “Jackson, how are you feeling? Your roommate told me you were sick,” you ask him.

“I was, but I am feeling much better now,” he assures you, smiling.

You felt the tug in your stomach, and you knew he was lying. “Jackson, you get sick more often than… well, anyone I know. What’s wrong?” you insist.

He sighs, his smile faltering. “I have an immune disorder. I don’t like talking about it much, but I often get sick,” he tells you.

You believed him until your introductory anatomy course went over autoimmune disorders. He didn’t fit any of the basic descriptions for them. You ended up choosing to do a paper on the topic, so you ended up pressuring him more when he was at your place for a movie date night.

“Jackson, I’ve been working on a paper for autoimmune disorders. I may have to narrow it down to one in particular… So, I was wondering what one you had?” you ask him, wanting to be a supportive girlfriend.

He sighs and seems irritated about it, and you couldn’t quite tell what was wrong. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just… I feel like I can’t tell you…” he admits, shocking you.

You felt like you had told him everything. You told him about your asthma, how your therapy sessions went, what you wanted to improve on, your insecurities about your body, even sexual things you had thought about eventually exploring with him.

But he couldn’t tell you this? After you told him about your mental health issues? You were shocked and speechless.

After a moment, you finally catch your thoughts. “Jackson… you know you can tell me anything, right?” you say softly, frowning and not realizing you were tearing up.

Jackson’s face softens, and he pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry, I know. You’re right,” he soothes, sighing slightly. “I just… don’t want you to hate me or think I am a freak or anything,” he further admits.

“Jackson, I love you. I could never,” you whisper. It was the first time you had said that.

His heart melts at your words, and he started tearing up. You pull away, and he cups your cheeks.

He lets out a short sigh, making up his mind. “Alright baby. Well, I’ll just say it,” he tells you, now opting to hold your hands. Jackson gently squeezes them as he admits, “I’m a werewolf.”

You pause, staring at him as you replay his words in your mind. You then pull away and laugh, shaking your head. “No, seriously Jackson,” you say, feeling anxious. Why would he lie to you?

“I am being serious,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Then-then prove it,” you say, but it comes out as more of a question.

Jackson sighs softly, tilting his head some. “Alright. Count to ten and come into your room,” he says, going in.

You huff, counting out loud.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.”

“Five.”

You stand up and head towards your room.

“Six.”

“Seven.”

“Eight.”

“Nine.”

“Ten.”

You turn the doorknob and say, “I’m coming in now.”

You open the door and are immediately greeted with a massive wolf. Oddly enough, he had the eyes of Jackson.

You quickly shut your door, knowing you weren’t allowed to have pets in your building.

“Um…” you begin, staring at him in confusion. You look around the room, wondering where Jackson was, only to notice his clothes on the floor. “So, you’re really-?” you begin, looking at the wolf again.

He nods and you groan, covering your face with your hands.

You hear him jump off the bed, and after hearing snapping and popping, you glance up and see Jackson pulling his pants back on. You quickly look away, your cheeks heating up as you try not to stare at his well defined body.

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smirking because he knew.

64 notes • Posted 2021-04-18 03:04:07 GMT

#2

sweet confessions

hwang hyunjin x gender neutral! reader

word count: 436

genre: comfort/fluff | rating pg

warning(s): allusion to having a panic attack/flashback/being triggered, potential selective mutism, tooth rotting fluff in the end

His lips are feather soft as he kisses the soft skin on your neck. His arms held you close and were a comforting reassurance of his presence. Hyunjin was a steady anchor into reality as he softly whispers your name.

“You’re safe here,” he softly assures you between gentle kisses.

“I’ve got you here,” Hyunjun assures you, humming softly to help more.

You slowly begin to melt into him under his reassurance, your tense muscles relaxing. When you calm down more, you move to hug him like a koala, hiding your face in his soft hair. Hyunjin gently rubs your back, kissing the side of your head.

“You’re okay, I’m here,” he whispers.

This time, you give him a tiny nod, sniffling and wiping your eyes.

He leans over, his arm firm around you, and grabs the box of tissues, pulling them close and next to you.

You pull away and blow your nose, wiping your eyes on a clean tissue as his hand continues to soothingly rub your back.

He lets you stay in the quiet, a soft smile on his face.

When you’re done blowing your nose, Hyunjin gently cups your cheek and asks, “Are you alright now?”

You shrug, shaking your head no a bit.

Hyunjin merely smiles, kissing your nose. “That’s okay, you don’t have to be,” he assures you.

As you lean into him, he rests your forehead against his. You let out a soft sigh, smiling slightly at the simple intimacy. You close your eyes, letting your noses touch.

“I love you,” Hyunjin whispers, causing your eyes to snap open.

You pull back a little, surprised at his confession. Your cheeks begin to heat up, and he quickly adds, “You don’t have to say it back yet. I just… needed to tell you. I love you, y/n.”

You rest your hand on his chest and give him a chaste kiss, a shy smile on your lips as you pull away.

He wasn’t sure in that moment if you couldn’t speak or were speechless, but he didn’t mind it either way. “I do. I really love you,” he confesses again, giving you another soft kiss.

You nod a little bit, pulling away to just hug him and hold him close. Your heartbeat was slowing back down again as you hide your burning face in his hair, tears of happiness forming in your eyes.

Hyunjin softly laughs out of embarrassment, rubbing your back again. “Bad timing, huh?” he chuckles.

You nod, finally letting out a little giggle.

You couldn’t see, but Hyunjin had the biggest, most foolish grin on his face.

© sakurasangcl 2021. All Rights Reserved.

75 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 02:10:54 GMT

#1

Need it

Paring: husband!kun x female!reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: smut

Rating: R

Synopsis: You and Kun have been talking about having children of your own recently, and after a long day of work Kun wants to put a baby in you. This is pure filth and you’re welcome. 

Warnings: hard dom!kun, sub!reader, impreg, unprotected sex (unless you want a baby use a condom please), oral (f recieving), sir kink, slight nipple play, orgasm control (almost denial too), creampie [as always, lmk if there is something i didn’t put but you’d like in the warnings!]

Author’s Note: shout out to @fire-poppyqueen​ for being my beta reader for this and for the title idea!

After an exhausting day at work, you could immediately tell Kun was in a foul mood. Normally he would greet you sweetly, happy to come home to you. This time, he comes in, takes off his shoes, and immediately asks, "have you made dinner yet?"

You look at him strangely, having gotten dressed up for the date he said he would take you on. 

"We were supposed to go on a date…" you gently remind him, coming over to him. 

He holds your waist and brings you close as he admires how you look. "I'm sorry baby, I forgot. I'm not in the mood to go out. Can we order takeout? I promise to make it up to you…" Kun says, letting his hand trail down to your ass, squeezing the soft flesh with a strong hand. 

You smile sheepishly at his action, shaking your head. "Yeah, that's fine. The usual then?" You ask. 

"Yes baby. I'll order it. Why don't you go lay on the bed and wait for me then, hm?" He suggests, letting go of you ask he licks his lips. Kun pulls out his phone for the order, and you gladly strip off your clothes to leave yourself in your lingerie. 

You lay one the bed, trying to figure out what pose made you look sexy. Kun comes in after a moment and sets down his phone. 

"God, you're so sexy," he groans, climbing over you to kiss you. Kun sucks on your lips as his hands roam your body, squeezing and touching you just right. He knew your body well, and knew the best ways to turn you on. 

You moan against his lips, bucking your hips into his. A soft chuckle escapes his lips as you do, and he pulls away to face your crotch. 

"So needy, huh baby girl?" He practically purrs, nipping your thigh as he teases your panties. 

"Yes Kun, only for you," you moan, your thighs trembling with anticipation as your arousal dampens your panties. 

"Good girl," he praises, rewarding you by taking off your panties and exposing your slick heat to him. Kun spreads your thighs open, admiring the view before he dives in. 

He licks from your entrance to your clit, sucking and nibbling the sensitive bud to get it more swollen. You cry out and grab the sheets, gasping in pleasure. Kun smirks against you, teasing your hole with his fingers. 

Kun sticks the first part of his finger inside, spreading open your hole before replacing it with his tongue. He begins to lap up your juices, reaching for your spot. Kun looks up at you as he rubs your clitorsis as well, loving the way you sounded and looked.

"Right there!" You cry out as his tongue repeatedly massages your g spot, arching your back as you grab the sheets and your breasts.  

Kun pulls away and replaces his tongue with his fingers. "Babygirl, are you allowed to cum before me?" He asks in a warning tone. 

"No sir," you squeak, doing your best to hold back. 

"I'm going to make an exception tonight and you can cum when I tell you to. Do you know why?" 

"Thank you!" You sob, struggling to keep back your orgasm as his fingers pick up speed. "No sir, please tell me why," you pant, tearing up some. 

"Because tonight I'm going to put a baby in you and I'm not going to waste my cum in the wrong hole," he whispers in your ear, kissing you deeply. 

You had been talking about having kids recently, and you always thought Kun was against it. You didn't take birth control, so condoms were a regular item on your grocery list. 

As always, Kun was full of surprises. 

"Now cum for me," he commands when he pulls away from your lips. 

Your body readily obliges, and you practically scream as you orgasm. He puts his face back against your heat, licking your juices. 

"There's my good girl," he praises as you come down from your high, kissing and marking up your thigh with hickeys. "Bra off babygirl," Kun commands, beginning to strip. 

This time he doesn't take his time, quickly riding himself of his clothes as he watches you fling your bra onto the floor. 

"I'm going to fuck you twice, and you will take it like a good girl. First I want to see your face as you lose control over my cock," Kun begins, his erect dick standing proud as he lightly strokes it. "And the second time you'll be on all fours with that pretty little ass up. You'll stay that way for me to keep in my cum so you will get pregnant," he sternly explains. "How does that sound babygirl?" Kun asks, his voice more gentle as he asks for permission.

You eagerly nod, drooling at the thought. 

"Words," Kun warns you.

"Yes please! I want you to fill me up!" You manage to say, not wanting a smack to your thigh. 

Kun grins at your response, lining up his cock to your entrance. "Ready baby?" He asks, teasing you with his tip. 

You immediately nod, reaching for his hands. He takes your hands in his as he slides in slowly, watching you carefully as your body stretches to fit him. You give him a little nod when you're ready, and Kun starts grinding into you, his tip teasing your spot before he begins to properly fuck you. 

His hips roll into you, still taking his time for you both to bask in the pleasure of being so intimate. 

"I love you so much," he moans, picking up his pace as he begins to suck a dark hickey onto your neck.

You moan loudly, wrapping your legs around him. Kun is able to get in deeper, causing you to cry out as his tip kisses your cervix. "Kun-ah~" you moan. 

Kun nips your neck, his hips stuttering. He was getting close, the fact he was in you raw driving him over the edge. Kun let's go of your hands, propping himself up with a forearm before reaching to rub your clit. 

You gasp and hold onto his shoulders, whining, "I'm so close." 

He grins wickedly and keeps going, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking. "Your breasts will be so sexy when they start swelling and are full of milk," he groans, nipping on your hardened nipple. 

You cry out as your body tenses, barely managing to hold back your orgasm. You knew you needed permission first. 

Before you can ask or even beg, Kun says, "go ahead and cum with me baby girl."

He thrusts a few more times before you orgasm, tightening around him as he shoots his seed inside of you. You cry out as it prolongs your orgasm, clinging to him at the strange new sensation. 

"Good girl, y/n," Kun says, softly kissing your lips as he thrusts a few more times, riding out your high. 

He then pulls out and goes between your legs, firmly keeping your legs open. His eyes are dark and full of lust, and his lips swollen. You pant as you drink in the attractive sight, calming from your orgasm and preparing for another. 

"Fuck, look at this," he says, putting his cum back inside of you before showing you his fingers. "This needs to stay inside of you, or we won't have a baby growing in here, now will we?" Kun asks, rubbing your stomach before kissing it, offering you his fingers to suck. 

You do so readily, moaning at the taste. 

Just then, the doorbell rings. Kun laughs and shakes his head. "Dinner. Stay here. I still have to fuck you again, baby," he says, kissing your lips. 

He then pulls on some shorts and answers the door. You hear him talking before shutting the door, some rustling happening as he sets the food down. Kun is quick to return and pull off his shorts. 

"We've gotta be quick this time so dinner wont get cold, hm?" He says, guiding you to roll over and put your hips up. Kun gently pulls you onto all fours, caressing your ass. 

You whine a little, sensitive some. 

This causes Kun to smack your ass and tsk. "None of that now, baby. You can take me and you know it. Three isn't that much, remember? I've gotten you to five before you used your safe word. You can do another round," he reminds you, spreading your cheeks and looking once again as his cum leaks out. 

"Now be a good girl for me and let me fuck your tight little hole," Kun groans, slowly sinking into your silky wet folds. 

You cry out and grip the pillows, loving the feeling of him inside you like this. He pauses before he begins to harshly thrust into you. You moan his name like a mantra, getting louder as he pulls your hair. 

He wraps his arm around you and pulls you up against his chest grunting your name in your ear before his hand wraps around your throat and lightly squeezes. You groan as he chokes you and clench around him. 

"My dirty girl just loves being choked, him? My baby loves this, being fucked so well?" He growls in your ear, his free hand moving to rub your clit. 

You cry out and nod slightly at his words. You hold onto his arms as your stomach flutters, and you do your best to keep your release at bay. 

"I'm about to cum," he warns, his thrusts getting harsher as he squeezes your neck tighter. 

"Cum with me," he grunts seconds later, hot spurts of cum further coating your walls as you milk him of his precious seed. 

You feel like you're there forever, gasping out and shaking. Kun pulls out of you and gently sets you back down. He kisses your forehead and says, "I love you baby, now go pee and I'll get dinner ready and heat it up if it got cold." 

You nod in agreement, waddling to the bathroom. After you relieve yourself, you check under the sink for a pregnancy test, making sure it wasn't expired. You'd have to use it in a week or two for the test to work, so you put it back. 

You slip on some soft, cotton panties and one of Kun's cozy shirts before joining him in the living room. He had put clothes on while you were in the bathroom, and he set your food in front of you. It was from your favorite local restaurant, and thankfully the food was still warm. 

The rest of your week was much better, and Kun seemed to be in a good mood and his usual self once more. When the time came, you took the pregnancy test. After tossing it away and washing your hands, you go out to tell Kun the results. He was helping you cook dinner, so you trudge over to him with a sad smile. 

"What's wrong?" He asks, not knowing what you went and did. 

"I took a pregnancy test."

"Oh?"

"I’m not pregnant." 

He could tell you were upset and even ashamed, but Kun merely grinned and said, "that just means we'll have to try even harder." 

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150 notes • Posted 2021-01-05 21:40:03 GMT

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