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#Not quite as many moving parts
wield-the-mighty-pen · 10 months
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Okay, but like, why did they have to do the Scooby-doo villain run?!?!
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protoindoeuropean · 1 month
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So, he has a new series out so I was reminded of my obsession with Ding Yuxi again and in watching some YT video about the new series I was again struck by how fascinating it is to me how different his looks can be. For example, when I watched the first series with him in the main role (The Romance of Tiger and Rose; which yes, I'll readily admit, I agreed to watch in a large part because I saw him on the poster and was like, well, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this 😏), there were two ~versions of him – in the historical and the modern setting:
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And like yeah they all wear those wigs in historical dramas so that's not particularly remarkable, right. Little did I know that this was just a tiny tip of the iceberg
Because then when I went to look him up afterwards on YT etc. and the first pictures I saw were these:
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about which I was at first like, is that even him? Like the face is just ... not the same in these? But ok, what do I know, anyway ... And then I watched an interview where he has yet another different look, and that seemed kind of in between, so that "bridged the gap" in a way. And then! – in that same interview – they juxtaposed him with another of his earlier looks:
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and it's like, who tf is this person ?
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It's just, idk, really amazing how much just different hairstyles, lighting, makeup, accessories will do. Obsessed
Other interview looks are nothing extreme
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And obviously there's supposed to be more variety when looking at the different roles
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But still, sometimes I'm just like, this is one person .....
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And like, sure, these looks obviously aren't impossibly different, but comparing the different ends of the spectrum can be pretty wild
In any case, the one that brought all of this about was this latest one:
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and idk at this point I shouldn't be surprised anymore. And yet ...
Anyway, I do actually love his acting too lmao
It really is ... delectable 😌
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Sonine Prime ... Part 2
Hi, everyone and welcome back to Sonine Prime! The part of the show when I come out and talk about Sonine (and a bit of Sontails) in Sonic Prime!
I unfortunately had to end part 1 a bit prematurely due to tumblr's video limit, so we didn't get very far into it. Right now we're about halfway into Sonic Prime Season 1 Episode 1, and (as promised) we're going to start part 2 tackling the scene that begins with Sonic and Nine's first meeting, and ends with them recounting Tails' and Nine's backstories.
So, without further ado, let's begin
<< Part 1 | Part 3 >>
(Essay/thoughts/analysis under the cut)
As I said in part 1, there is a lot going on here, and a lot to tackle.
We'll start with Sonic's side.
Now, it's important to mention that at this time, Sonic just believes Nine to be Tails who lost his memories/doesn't remember him. So most of this scene is Sonic calling Nine "Tails" and trying to appeal to him by talking about old times. While this will initially tell us more about how he feels about Tails than it does Nine (once again interesting that Tails specifically gets this focus as the best bud, a focus on "making things okay again" that is only later matched by Sonic's treatment of Thorn when he also believes that Amy is deep down inside her, because he initially believes them both to be a friend who has just forgot Sonic and themselves. Tails and Amy parallels in relation to Sonic: IIII), this is the basis upon which Sonic will build his relationship with Nine on, even though he will later consider Nine as a separate different person in relation to Tails.
Now, this scene is meant to call back to the flashback scene from earlier. Sonic punches in the code to Tails' lab and hopes it still works ("Tails you crafty fox"???🧐), and just as with Tails in the flashback, Sonic turns Nine's chair to make him face him.
"Tails, it's me!"
From Sonic's pov here, he can’t understand why Nine is fighting him or really what's happening. "Tails" was the nickname that Tails' bullies used when they were picking on him, but after meeting Sonic he was able to reclaim that nickname for himself. So to Sonic, he can’t understand why saying this name continues to make Nine angry and insist that his name is something else, just as he's put off that "Tails" would attack him and act like he doesn't know him.
He also spends a good chuck of the fight looking very hurt
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"Tails, stop! We're buds, amigos...best friends!"
...
"Snap out of it, we go way back!"
...
"All my best memories of Green Hill have you in 'em. And you're not punching me!"
...
"Don't you wanna go home? Blue skies? Sunny beaches? Palm trees?"
And after spending most of the fight defending himself and dodging in favor of trying to appeal to who he thinks is Tails, trying to summon up memories of them being best friends, Sonic throws himself into the path of the other train to save Nine from getting hit.
"I've been trying to tell you that we are friends."
"Fabricated stories won't keep me from beating you back, intruder."
"Stop, just. Stop... We're friends—best friends. This has to ring a bell?"
Sonic just can't wrap his head around it—a world in which his best friend doesn't remember him, calls their times together "fabricated stories", fights him no matter how he tries to explain that they’re friends. None of this makes sense to him, and so he tries to explain how they met, because surely then "Tails" will remember him, right?
"From the moment we first met..." (interesting choice of words, considering what often follows this is the impression the character saying it got from the other or how they have always felt about the other)
But "Tails" only expresses surprise in how much Sonic knows, despite the fact that Nine has never met him before now, and explains a different, much darker version of Tails' backstory
One that doesn't include Sonic.
And again Sonic is having his hard time wrapping his head around this. That "Tails" is here, and yet doesn't "remember" him. That this "Tails" seems to have a similar backstory, but never met him. "Tails...but not. Here, but...gone?"
But he doesn't get too long to examine this before Nine asks "So, what else did we do?"
And this pretty much immediately perks Sonic up after he gets a look at Nine's face, like he really is curious what he could be missing.
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And then of course that face comes back
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And...it makes Sonic so visually happy and excited to talk about the Tornado, mention how they've gone on so many adventures and busted Eggman so many times...
"Look. We've had our share of ups and downs, but when we stick together? We never lose. And when all's said and done, there's no better reward than sharing a chili dog with your best pal. And that's just the tip of the iceberg! We've got a lifetime of adventures and memories together."
Even though Sonic doesn't yet consider Nine his own person, this entire scene is incredibly telling as to who Tails is to him (best friend, partner, amigo, forever companion), and sets up a basis for his relationship to Nine.
Now for Nine's side. For him, the bulk of the fight is him being aggressive and reacting due to his trauma. "Tails" was the name he was called as he was bullied and assaulted for years, and a name he came to associate with said traumatic experiences. The name he claimed for himself, symbolic of how he saved himself with his own power, is "Nine". Thus, when this strange hedgehog intrudes in his lab, interrupts his work, and calls him "Tails", boy does that set him off.
"Who sent you?!"
He's afraid and angry. Who else could this stranger be but one of those bullies or someone else to just call him a freak, intruding in his space.
And then the strange hedgehog calls them best friends? Continues to call him "Tails" despite Nine's clear aversion, and yet is trying to appeal to him emotionally?
But then the hedgehog puts himself in danger to save him. And that's really strange.
Because no one has friends here, right? Why would anyone save him? No one cares about anyone else, no one would just save someone at the expense of their own life, this hedgehog acts like he knows him and yet doesn't seem to know anything about him.
"Fabricated stories won't keep me from beating you back, intruder."
That's what it has to be, right? Maybe it's connected to why the hedgehog broke into his base. He saved him only because he needed him, right?
But the hedgehog makes it clear he never wanted a fight, the two rest on safe ground in the scareport. And then he tells another story to appeal to him.
The story of a two tailed fox who was picked on for being different, who was saved by Sonic, the very hedgehog before him.
And although that story is not quite right, the resemblance surprises Nine, catching his interest. Even if his past didn't happen that way, how could Sonic get those details (him being himself, getting picked on by jerks for having an extra Tail) right without Nine having never met him before? The way Nine reacts even implies his story is highly personal, and one he'd never told anyone.
And perhaps he feels a bit jealous, then.
Because this "Tails" that Sonic keeps talking about? He had someone there for him, someone who protected him when he was being bullied and picked on. But Nine? He took a beating for years. No one showed up to protect him, much less save him. He learned that he was alone, learned that these selfless people who would protect the weak don't exist, and so he finally saved himself.
Is that the kind of person Sonic is—the kind of person who would save a victim who's hurting, someone he'd never met, even if it doesn't benefit him? Just like how Sonic had saved him from being hit by that train?
"You weren't there"
And so what if Nine lets himself pretend for a moment that what Sonic is saying is true? What does it feel like to be Sonic's best friend, that person he'd stuck his neck out for and saved back then, someone who goes on adventures and kicks butt with him, who shares a meal with him, someone with whom they're both happy?
The way he begins to smile as Sonic talks about his times with Tails.
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"But when we stick together, we never lose"
The way he frowns (touch adverse as he is) when Sonic puts a hand on his shoulder, but relaxes into it and gives this stranger a smile, and the way he perks up with the cutest, even bigger smile when Sonic pokes his heart.
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"And when all's said and done? There's no better reward than sharing a chili dog with your best pal"
And then...Nine frowns again when Sonic says "best pal".
Because no matter how great that idea of home sounds, to Nine, none of that happened. None of this is really about him, no matter what Sonic says.
But, this is the beginning of the end for Nine. In just five in show minutes, he goes from trying to get answers out of Sonic, killing him, beating him back, to becoming interested in his "fabricated stories" and willing to help him with his little problem. He invites him into his lab this time and helps distribute the energy coming from him evenly on his body, even though he complains: "The only thing I hate more than people in my space is whiners."
Or the entire next scene. Sonic calls him amazing for his creation of the extra metal tails (which doesn't end up hitting Nine as intented), corrects himself after calling Nine "Tails" on accident, and then Sonic just speeds off, only for Nine to say "No– Wait, you dope! It's not safe!" and run after him.
While this is during an early period of the show where you can easily argue that Nine only cares about what he could use Sonic for and his current interest in the energy he exhibits, it still says a lot that he actually begins to show care in another person's wellbeing. And it also tells us a lot about Sonic that he'd transitioned from calling him "Tails" to "Nine" so quickly, even if he has to correct himself.
Now, as we move on to Nine and Sonic's capture by the Chaos Council, this brief scene of them outside before their capture also shows us once more just how quickly Sonic is jumping to "normalcy", starting with getting "Tails" back as his adventuring buddy. Although he wasn't incredibly concerned before, he brushes off Nine's concerns about the Chaos Council, instead acting like everything will be fine ("Wanna run up the walls?"). And we can see that Sonic still believes Nine is just Tails, absent his memories of Sonic and their friends.
"When you get your memory back, you'll remember that 'low profile' isn't my thing"
Nine: I told you to keep a low profile!
Sonic: No you didn't.
Nine: Yes I did.
Sonic: You didn't.
Nine: Yes I did.
Sonic: Nooo, you didn't.
Nine: Are you sure we were "best friends".
Ahjsjsj well. Nine says that, but he'll come to realize that he likes Sonic even when he finds him frustrating or annoying (just like Tails and, frankly, his other friends do😂). He already has been helping Sonic out and allowing him to be in his space, even if he doesn't understand Sonic.
And as I have hit the tumblr post picture limit, that's it for part 2! For part 3, we'll be beginning with Sonic and Nine's confinement in The Chaos Council's base, and perhaps I'll finally get to move on to Episode 2😂
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dayurno · 11 days
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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yuelun · 9 months
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/takes a little breath amidst a quiet dash. Starter call!
Though I have threads/asks to get to, I'm curious if one of these would catch anyone's attention. I know sending in sentence starters isn't always up everyone's alley and it's a little harder when it comes to interacting with a character who's canonically dead in present day, like mine. Although (I need to write up the details for the first iteration of it) I do have her resurrected in a present timeline (see tags). If you're interested in me either coming to you, or fishing up something with a bit of a red line, give this a like and I'll see what I can do! Trust me when I say, if we're mutuals, I'm interested in writing with you. See this as a little cheat to grab my attention if you want it!
#[ so i've simply been dying to get her in a modern setting /without/ changing the course of events. ]#[ so while i need to refine the details and the circumstances may differ down the line-- it won't affect interact with most of you-- ]#[ as i heavily tie guizhong to the moon/night due to too many references to it in her attire and symbolisms alike... ]#[ and also to the chasm and its origins-- that's a whole other hc. ]#[ i've decided the first iteration of resurrecting her to simply be based within the concept that the gods never quite die... ]#[ because the elements that they're tied to never do either. they're not 'personifications' by any means-- but they're a part of. ]#[ they can manifest into a corporeal form and in the same way; that form can be broken and destroyed. ]#[ and it weakens them immensely; a much more severe form of osial being 'restrained'/locked away for thousands of years. ]#[ i envision that they can't simply reform. but they could over-time. or at least when 'stars align' of sorts. ]#[ when their element is at its strongest and can gather elemental energy from /somewhere/. ]#[ so /after/ the events of the game thus far-- during moonchase; on the night when the moon is at its fullest... ]#[ and at its apex. it's shining less brightly than it normally is-- and it's because it's being used as a battery of sorts. ]#[ you know all of the dust above cuejiue slope? that cloud of dust moves towards the cliff by the harbor-- by that sole glaze lily. ]#[ and dust from across liyue and possibly even teyvat-- slowly gathers. it would look like a shadow from afar. ]#[ and it gathers and along with the energy that the moon supplies that night; when everything falls into place... ]#[ it allows her to regain her corporeal form as it existed prior. ]#[ this is after 'rex lapis' has stepped down and retreats from his position as archon of liyue. ]#[ she doesn't step in by any means whatsoever-- her re-manifestation is actually (in my verse) witnessed by him from afar. ]#[ and then witnesses it up close as she finally forms after a long time of this process. ]#[ she wouldn't go by 'guizhong' except by adepti who remember; but she might go by haagentus. at least initially. ]#[ /breathes. hi. hello. i'm sae and i'm a mess of an individual-- pls come here and don't leave me despite it. ]#[ ooc. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains…
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karma's a relaxing thought
aren't you envious that for you it's not?
(karma, taylor swift)
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dutybcrne · 3 months
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Kaeya and Rethel both have a favorite method to ward off any potential suitors, and it’s dueling.
#hc; kaeya#hc; rethel#//Wanted or unwanted; it’s the same for the most part. They won’t tend to accept any suitor who can’t best them in a duel#//Rethel in particular favored this after many started approaching her father for her hand; & he suggested she consider them for self-gain#//Still; she stubbornly demanded only those worthy enough to best her can have her; no gifts or sweet poems could sway her otherwise#//Other family members begged her to reconsider; but Anfortas agreed w her bc she claimed it was to ensure their line continued Strong#//Only the BEST for the Alberichs. @ the rate she was going tho; she was likely to end up a spinster. Not that she or Anfortas saw any issu#//Kae does this; bc he got spooked to hell and back bc a slew of marriage offers after Crepus’ death#//Bc folks claimed he ‘needed’ support after everything that happened; esp considering Crepus was slandered. That it would ‘BENEFIT’ him to#//Bc Luc wasn’t there to help get them off his back nor to actively secure of Luc’s hold as the Ragnvindr head for himself#//Some people assumed Kae would be it and made their move to take advantage. which Kae DETESTED for many reasons#//The biggest ones being ‘how DARE they assume HE is the new head of the family now that Diluc’s gone’#//And ‘Oh stars; oh fucking he’ll; he does NOT need this; HE of all people does NOT need nor deserve to be married; oh fucking SHIT-‘#//But yeah#//Both trained quite rigorously to ensure their independence; not ONE person has bested them since#//Esp since they both will pull out all the stops to ensure it; even playing dirty when need be#//Kae is more lax abt this tho—there’s a higher chance of him making an exception if he likes the other enough. & they are ‘safe’ enough#//Of the other muses; Xianyun; Beidou; and Dehya DEFINITELY do this to be done with unwanted suitors; Period. Xian; mostly to test ppl#//Idarias used to as well; but that was before the karmic debt made her more inclined to just try & kill anyone she comes across#//Xian & Ei would follow Kae & Rethel; in terms of dealing with suitors/testing if worthy. In Ei’s case; she’s too focused crushing on Miko#//Sb who CAN beat her can change her mind; or at least if they put up a good enough fight; they can shift her attention onto them#//Taru; honestly the fight is a prerequisite just to get his favor/attention at ALL#//Will NOT be willing to get genuinely close with much less accepting/choosing to court ANYONE unless they can manage to hold their own#hc; cloud retainer#hc; beidou#hc; dehya#hc; indarias#hc; ei#hc; tartaglia
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033h · 2 months
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i’m moving to new york in like 5 months because i got a job offer and just kinda impulsively said yes… any advice for new ppl moving to new york :’) im kinda worried
first off congrats on the job!! That’s so exciting and will probably make things easier in a lot of ways, that was the hardest part of getting an apartment for me and the job market here (like most things) is pretty competitive.
That being said I highly recommend looking into what apartment hunting is like here well in advance. Not just researching neighborhoods (it’s good to check which trains go to where you work, if you’ll be going in) but also dealing with brokers fees and knowing what amenities you need, figuring out if you’ll want roommates, etc, since my experience was basically that you need to be ready to apply on the spot when you tour, especially in the summer. There’s a lot of resources and a whole Reddit page dedicated to renting here that I found pretty helpful. I had a sublet for 2 months so I could have time to find an apartment. Things on there go quickly but listings project can give you a good idea of what’s out there, I think I found my apartment on streeteasy but toured like 15 places altogether.
In terms of other things, you’ll figure out the trains and navigation with time. What I wish I had done differently is doing as much as possible with the initial inertia of when you first get here: reaching out to any connections, dating, buying crazy shit on Facebook marketplace, exploring neighborhoods. It’s totally overwhelming but also highly motivating because you aren’t grounded by anything yet. Once I got settled and more secure I definitely lost most of that energy and I wish I had done a bit more when I had it, I feel like I’m just now trying to explore on my own more months later. Oh and download the got2gonyc bathrooms google map, it will probably save ur life at some point.
Honestly everything else (friends, activities, go to spots) I’m still very much figuring out for myself! It’s a unique city from everywhere else I’ve lived and it’s normal to take a long time to adjust (again I still am). Say yes to any opportunity you can to meet new people and try new things. Read up on the history of where you live and the places you go and be mindful of others around you. I find that New Yorkers are not always “friendly” but tend to be mindful/look out for others and are quite willing to strike up a conversation, at least compared to the PNW where I’m from. In general, people are pretty open to meeting up but it can be hard to really get to know one person. Wishing you all the best with the move and again congrats 💓💓
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hyvee · 1 day
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Totk is a great game but god i hate the part where u pilot tht mecha thing soooo much i haaaate it
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sysig · 22 days
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪
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strohller27 · 3 months
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.
#I’m just gonna use this blog as a diary because. y’know. I already do. anyway#I don’t know what’s gotten into me recently but I just feel like. like I’m supposed to be ‘further along’ in my life than I am now?#and like. I know it’s bullshit because. the milestones I was told I would hit as I grew older have definitely not been predictable#they tell you you’ll get a job and a car and a significant other and you’ll get married and buy a house and have kids and grow old and die#and it’s like. that’s all we’re given to measure our lives by; these big milestones.. people are supposed to feel accomplished when they hit#but those things are just titles to chapters like. nobody tells us that there’s all this other plot happening between those pages#and so yeah I mean. it feels like I’m not on the right chapter and I really want to skip ahead but like#the truth is. I’m not even to the climax yet. I’m still in the lore-dump stage of ny story#and that’s been so hard for me to accept recently. I’m yearning to be in the chapter where I fall in love and get married#but that’s just it like. that chapter comes earlier in other people’s stories than it seems to be in mine#although I’ve fallen in love many times. I’m not at the ‘get married’ chapter. because it’s not the right part of the story yet#and sometimes I wish I could just find the author of my story and tell them HEY GET ON WITH IT ALREADY because things seem to be moving so#so slowly. and yet they’re moving so fast I simultaneously feel like I’m running out of time#like. why do some people deserve to have co-stars in their stories from almost the very beginning who stick by those protagonists and grow#together? What did I do in my last story to deserve such a lonely one this time around?#Why am I so unlucky that I have good close friends that stick by me and all I know how to do is hold them at arms length because I don’t#think our relationships are quite as deep as I feel that I need out of a relationship?#why is my story about desparately trying to find a place where I feel comfortable enough to belong and share myself with others#and hey. why am I not at that part of my story either?#and maybe it’s that I don’t do enough. as a protagonist my toxic trait is that I’m pathologically suspicious of others#if someone shows interest in me I’m suspicious of why. what are they trying to get from me. because in the past people have taken from me#without giving much back. and if someone wants to date me I’m immediately suspicious of their intentions.#because I’ve realised that there’s much more to being in a relationship than ‘you’re hot let’s fuck’. and I know that’s not what I want#I want to be at the part of my story where I can share myself with someone without worrying that they’re going to take more than I can give.#I want to be at the part of my story where I can trust someone with myself when I’m fragile and they can trust me with themselves as well#I want to be at the part of my story where my life slots together well with someone else’s; so well it just feels normal and right.#I want to be at the part of my story where…I know I could live without this person because we can both take care of ourselves but.#it’s just preferable to spend time and solve problems and exist *together*#and you’ll have to forgive me for saying so but I’ll need physical affection from that person whoever they may be#I feel like certain things are falling into place. I like where I am. now I want to set down roots. and I can’t. I’m not at that page yet.
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I don't like thinking about work unless I'm at work but I have to talk through smth ignore me or whatever
#i want to quit soon but i dont know when the best time is#im working the next 2 mon/tues and then im off until the 14th#and the schedule for august isn't out yet so the last day im scheduled for now is the 25th#usually the schedule comes last minute#im considering..... telling my boss that my last day will be the 25th tomorrow#but if im going to do it i have to do it tomorrow#mayyyyybe Tuesday ig but i would wanna do it next week#but i cant see who im working with before i go in anymore. which is so terrible for so many reasons#i need to prepare before i go in and part of that is knowing who im gonna see but whatever#not only that but i wont know if my boss will be there for me to be able to quit until im there tomorrow#im also super anxious about quitting anyway i don't wanna have that conversation#and then i have to start looking for a new job#and im trying to move in the spring i need money#i did think... i could possibly bring the letter of resignation tomorrow.. hope he wont be there & leave it on his desk#and text him that it's there. but then theres not much of a conversation to be had#idek exactly how youre 'supposed to quit' but to me those rules are for employers you respect 💀#i dont respect these people ✌️#the only thing i feel bad about is that there'll only be one baker left in the company (6 almost 7 stores)#but its also not my fault that they haven't hired anyone and cant keep employees#i would've LOVED some help over the last few months as ive been the only baker in this district of 3 stores!!! they never hired anyone!!!!#i just have really not appreciated the way they've been treating me recently with all of the anxiety stuff#i also dont appreciated how my rights of privacy were violated 😀#and its literally coming to the point where im going to have to have uncomfortable conversations that i dont want to have#and/or literally take or at least threaten some legal action#or just quit!! and its not like im gonna be here much longer anyway even if i dont leave right now#i almost feel like... do i have a responsibility to hold them accountable for what they've done so it hopefully doesn't happen again#but idk i mean i didn't make them do this#tbh the more i think about it the more i want to quit tomorrow. im just nervous. and scared of not having a paycheck#idk its just scary!!! life is scary!!!!!
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freedarick · 10 months
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So I kind of asked my boss out and after some excuses she said "let me think about it" which here is code for "no". Kind of bummed, kind of still have a bit of hope, kind of just hoping it becomes clear she is 0 interested and I can at some point move on
#I know it was a risky move but I could not take it any longer#this is actually the 3rd time that I ask her if she wants to go grab something with me#but this was the first time where it was very intentional and not as casual as hey wanna grab something after work#Yesterday was my bday and we were in the office together#At the end of the day I asked her if she had time and first she went silent then she said she was busy#but then she said something like maybe if you had said something sooner#then I said it was my bday and she was like oh if I had known sooner! congratulations!! etc#Since we will be at the office together on Monday I did what I almost never do. I called her on the phone#I called her to check about some other work related stuff and at the end I asked her if she would want to go eat with me on Monday#She mentioned that she does not eat out because of health issues but we have done so at least 5 times in the past for company related stuff#then she said that she was also very busy right now with work stuff which is true#I know that things would probably not work out anyway but for some reason she makes me feel very strong emotions#whatever happens I hope that she finds happiness and that we can continue having a positive work relationship#I also cannot help but feel undesirable. I hope she does not freak out like so many people have done in the past when I like them#I hope this was not too much for her#a part of me thinks that she will forget about it by tomorrow though#she really is kind of a workaholic and she really is quite busy. So no time to think about the silly coworker and his feelings I think
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i realize that I do not know how to interact with other people? Like I forgot that I am perceived by others and now I don’t want to talk to anyone ??
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nexus-nebulae · 1 year
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stupid fucking broken body
#low health#i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory#i can't do a single thing without hurting#not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight#i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this#i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen#and the text was fucking TINY too aha#there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration#so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is#everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity#or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing#to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen#and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess#they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right#and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves#i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?*#ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO.#i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP#and it has been OVER SIX YEARS#and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer#and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC.#i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point#i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX#and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO#i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die#and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health#so we can barely even help each other even if we want to
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mejomonster · 2 years
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in other news i really loved how kiyru and majima changed their clothes to symbolize how they want to pave their own paths now based on their own decisions and choices. kiyru picking what nishikiyama thinks is ugly lol, but that he loves personally, and majima picking something flashy and so Different from the guilded cage look he was trapped in the entire game.
i really liked makoto but im unsure if she’ll be in future games. i’d like her to be. and if majima goro is ever to have loved a person, so far, i absolutely would buy it was makoto. i really liked that duo’s story together, and how they paralleled each other so much. majima doesn’t tell her its him for a variety of reasons, but one being she’s a civilian now and safely OUT of this fucked world she’s been in for years now, and he doesn’t want to drag her in - he wants that her decision to make one way or another. but wow if it didn’t feel like fate to see him walk away and know makoto can feel something familiar about him but also thinks he’s a stranger. i liked the watch scene as closure for them too - like they both know the other is okay and moving on, even if they don’t plan to ever run into each other again.
the way they used her in the plot felt like a one off story thing for this game, as did tachibana, though again i wonder if they’ll show up again.
#yakuza 0#lb#my only big complaint with the whole game tbh?#i do think makoto could have stayed blind. or the level of blindness she was toward endgame#i have a friend who's the level of blindness where she uses a cane and goes on her own everywhere#and makoto already was doing that and also doing that when things were blurry#and with her goal of 'do things alone' she could have done that fairly well by endgame so i dont know why she had to be cured tbh#i think the game. since her blindness was psychological. wanted to show she'd moved on from these many years of events.#so it didn't have the blindness linger once it was getting better. but still. i felt it unnecessary.#but oh they cant take majima away from me.#i also ??? really liked ALL the women in this game#i know the game got bad reviews For specifically 'underwriting women'#but i gotta say personally? this is one of the few action games ive played (outside of rpg) wher#the women felt like fully fleshed out people. makoto and tachibana felt equally active in the plot to me#all the carabet girls i felt the game encouraged u to actually GET to know and empathize with#even though its a 'cute dating game'#in part because they have quite unique backstories and in part cause majima they firmly see as Work Friend#so it feels like becoming friends not flirting even when its flirty? if that makes sense#aka how i talk as a demiromantic demisexual to people lol.#also like? majima goro honest to fuck felt like playing MYSELF in the game#im just. really similar to the dude. if id ended up in his life i woulda made ALL the same choices#if he was in mine. unfortunately poor dude. would probably make all my same mistakes too.
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