#Now I'm going to sleep not to handle the embarrassment of having posted this
Does anyone know where I can find those reaction gif that go like this:
in the first gif there's a young man, probably black, dressed in red an black, exiting through an heavy door. Off scene, someone tells him something; in the second gif there's a zoom in, and, as the door closes, the man's hand stops the door, keeping the door from closing.
I've just been looking for these gifs (literally) for the whole day and this is my last resource to find out if they actually exist or if I only saw them in my dreams
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The Telegraph- Camilla Tominey
'She wanted drama': The inside story of the rift between Harry and Meghan and The Firm
As the Sussexes give their tell-all Oprah Winfrey interview, royal insiders reveal the 'other side of the story'
By Camilla Tominey, Associate Editor5 March 2021 • 9:00pm
There was something distinctly familiar about the Oprah Winfrey teaser in which Prince Harry declared: "My biggest concern was history repeating itself."
The words, due to be aired during the Duke and Duchess of Sussexes' tell-all interview on Sunday night, bore an uncanny resemblance to the statement released by Harry's communications secretary, Jason Knauf, in November 2016 after the Sunday Express had revealed that the Prince was dating the American actress.
Confirming that "his girlfriend Meghan Markle" had been "subject to a wave of abuse and harassment", the statement criticised the "racial undertones" of newspaper coverage, adding: "Prince Harry is worried about Ms Markle's safety and is deeply disappointed that he has not been able to protect her. This is not a game – it is her life and his."
The unprecedented salvo created two important narratives around the former Suits star – it formally confirmed her status as the woman in Harry's life but also positioned her, in the eyes of the palace and the public, as the victim at the heart of a media "storm". As the statement suggested, a line had been "crossed".
But the tirade "by the Communications Secretary to Prince Harry" also put Mr Knauf in a compromising position. How was the former director of corporate affairs for the Royal Bank of Scotland going to be able to handle media relations for a couple when the Prince had so publicly made plain their deep hostility towards the press?
Almost exactly two years later, the 39-year-old spin doctor would submit a a bullying claim accusing Meghan of driving two personal assistants out of the household and undermining the confidence of a third staff member.
The Sussexes have denied that Harry pleaded with Mr Knauf not to pursue it, claiming the couple are the victims of a calculated smear campaign based on harmful misinformation. They said the Duchess was "saddened by this latest attack on her character, particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself and is deeply committed to supporting those who have experienced pain and trauma".
Those highlighting the "outrageous bullying" say they want to "tell the other side of the story" to the picture expected to be painted by the Duchess on the Oprah special of her "almost unsurvivable" time in the Royal family. "Anyone who is a victim can't bear to watch it," said one.
The couple's lawyers insist Buckingham Palace is manipulating the press to peddle a "wholly false narrative" –notwithstanding the fact that the complainants no longer work in the royal household and the lack of palace action has now prompted an internal inquiry.
The Telegraph has spoken to a number of well-placed insiders who witnessed first-hand the turmoil within the royal household from Meghan's arrival as Prince Harry's girlfriend to the couple's decision to stand down as working royals last year.
All spoke on the condition of anonymity amid claims they had been operating in a "climate of fear", where employees were routinely "humiliated" in front of their peers and repeatedly subjected to "unreasonable demands" by both Meghan and Harry.
Unwilling to play a supporting role
It was not until October 2017, a year after Mr Knauf's unprecedented statement that Meghan gave an interview to Vanity Fair in which she declared of her relationship with Harry: "We're in love. I'm sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but what I hope people will understand is that this is our time."
The public did not have to wait long. Just a month later, the couple announced their engagement with a photocall in the sunken garden at Kensington Palace and an interview with the BBC's Mishal Husain in which Harry described his fiancee as "another team player as part of the bigger team".
Yet behind palace gates, it was quickly becoming apparent that Meghan had no intention of she and Harry being seen as the "supporting act" to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, despite their seniority in the royal pecking order.
That Christmas, determined to walk side by side with William and Kate to Sandringham's St Mary Magdalene Church, rather than several steps behind, they were pictured together as the so-called "Fab Four".
The Cambridges invited the Sussexes to spend the festive period at their nearby bolthole, Anmer Hall, an experience Meghan spoke of fondly afterwards. "Meghan was very positive about it," said a former aide.
Two months later, the quartet appeared at their first official event together at the inaugural forum of their Royal Foundation – a highly choreographed event described by one royal insider as "designed to send a message that they would be working as a team. It was all very carefully rehearsed beforehand".
Disagreements with the Cambridges
After Meghan showcased her years of previous work with "larger NGOs and smaller grassroots organisations", both William and Harry acknowledged that working so closely with loved ones had led to "healthy disagreements" over how to best guide the foundation's work.
"Working as a family does have its challenges, of course it does," Harry said. "But we're stuck together for the rest of our lives."
By now, Kensington Palace staff had already become familiar with a mantra that would come to characterise the run-up to the Sussexes' wedding in May 2018.
"Want Meghan wants, Meghan gets" may have been shouted by Prince Harry to Angela Kelly, the Queen's personal assistant, following a row over a tiara – but royal aides were already well acquainted with the importance of meeting the Duchess's exacting standards.
"Everyone wanted her to be happy because they knew that would make him happy," said one. "Do whatever it takes to make it work for Meghan was the mantra. We all cared deeply about Harry. Contrary to this idea that they weren't supported, we were going to great lengths to accommodate their needs."
So much so that there was an extraordinary incident during the couple's first tour of Scotland when members of the palace PR team "body blocked" Meghan's former adviser Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne during a visit to an Edinburgh cafe in what one former aide described as "the most embarrassing moment of my professional career".
The Duchess had apparently expressed "a reluctance to make eye contact" with Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne, who was reduced to having to post an Instagram shot of her former close friend and client visiting the Social Bites cafe from a considerable distance. "Anyone from the past was a problem," observed the former aide.
Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne's name would later reappear in court documents accusing Meghan's close friend and stylist Jessica Mulroney of "putting pressure on her [Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne] to withdraw or change statements" she had made in an April 2018 interview with the Mail on Sunday.
The defence documents claimed the Sunday newspaper's features editor complained about the intervention to Mr Knauf, who allegedly responded by saying he would ensure "this does not happen again". In the piece, Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne described Meghan as: "Picky, not only when it comes to her clothes but also her colleagues, instantly dismissing those who didn’t share her 'vision'."
Describing how the Duchess had "given me a bit of a difficult time" after meeting Harry, she added: "Meghan likes to move on".
When contacted by The Telegraph, Ms Nelthorpe-Cowne declined to comment on the incident.
As the world was gearing up for what the LA Times had billed as "a royal wedding for the 21st century", behind palace gates the atmosphere was becoming fraught.
Staff had grown used to "email bombardments" by Meghan and Harry, with one describing how "the last thing we'd do before going to sleep is reply to their messages and the first thing we'd do in the morning is reply to their messages. Weekends, holidays – there were no boundaries. They live on their phones all the time".
Despite publicly claiming they largely ignored the press coverage, in reality the couple were often consumed by it. "They're both very thin-skinned," said one former employee.
Meghan's supporters say staff members "who preferred a more genteel pace" could not keep up with the Duchess's "American work ethic" – with one close friend now suggesting the criticism was racially motivated. "Find me a woman of colour in a senior position who has not been accused of being too angry, too scary, too whatever in the workplace," the friend said.
Yet it was not just palace employees who found themselves on the receiving end of "inescapable screaming and shouting".
Much has been written about the bridesmaids' dress fitting, first revealed in The Telegraph in November 2018, that left the Duchess of Cambridge in tears.
Contrary to subsequent reports that the row concerned Princess Charlotte's tights, what actually happened was that the dress itself did not fit Kate's then nearly three-year-old daughter. According to a well-placed source, "demands were made about when subsequent fittings would be, and Kate left sobbing".
While Meghan's allies suggest that Kate did not make enough of an effort to welcome her future sister-in-law into the royal fold, allies of the Cambridges suggest she "tried to arrange social things" and invited her to watch tennis together but "there was a sense that Meghan never really wanted to be friends".
Those inside the palace concede, however, that the Cambridges can "appear standoffish" and are "often out of contact for extended periods".
Another former royal aide claimed the Duke, particularly, appreciated the "deflection" from his own occasionally demanding behaviour. "Bullying is endemic across all the households," the former aide added.
"The Meghan thing is a disgrace, but it's not in isolation. They cut you out, undermine you, talk down to you. One minute you're in – the next you're persona non grata. Some staff have special protection. I've never witnessed behaviour like it before. I wish I'd never seen behind the curtain."
A reprimand from the Queen
One member of staff afforded "special protection" is Angela Kelly, who has served as the Queen's closest aide since 2002. Rumours of Meghan being dubbed "Duchess Difficult" began to surface around the time it emerged that the Liverpudlian docker's daughter had been given a tongue-lashing by Harry.
Yet what was never accurately reported around the time of "Tiaragate" was that far from being denied the item from the Crown Jewels she wanted, Meghan was in fact given her first choice.
The argument erupted after the Duchess demanded that Queen Mary's Diamond Bandeau Tiara be produced for an unscheduled hairdressing appointment.
"Angela told Harry it was priceless and couldn't suddenly be handed over at short notice. He was furious and shouted: 'What Meghan wants, Meghan gets.' Suffice to say it didn't go down too well." So badly, in fact, that the no-nonsense 53-year-old, who has her own fearsome reputation among colleagues, reported the incident to the Queen, prompting a grandmotherly telling off for Harry.
Little did the Prince know at the time that staff had also given him a nickname: "The hostage".
According to one person with first-hand knowledge of the events: "They insisted that they had the same inflation-adjusted budget for the wedding as William and Kate – she got the choir she wanted, the dress, the carriage procession, the tiara – she got everything she wanted but it still wasn't enough.
"She was constantly looking for reasons to say she had been deprived. Also, she wanted drama from the very beginning."
Although the couple wanted their spokespeople to deny it, a story about Meghan requesting air freshener to be sprayed around the "musty" St George's Chapel was true, according to multiple sources.
Even The Kingdom Choir did not get off lightly after the couple changed their song 12 times before they were happy with the arrangement of "Stand By Me". As choir member Karen Gibson revealed: "Gospel music is all about the cherries on top and it's not about stinting on anything. But we got word back that they wanted something a little less, so we did a second version which had an Etta James arrangement but again we had word back that it wasn't right."
The group was then asked to meet Harry and Meghan face to face, before the couple finally settled on an arrangement after 11 previous attempts.
"The wedding was hugely stressful for everyone involved in it," said one former aide. "Staff were spending most of their time having smooth things over with suppliers."
Tears before the big day
The "Markle Debacle", when Meghan's father Thomas pulled out of the wedding at the last minute, only added to the tension as royal aides scrambled to "rescue" the narrative around the "big day" by having the Prince of Wales step in to walk Meghan down the aisle.
Despite Meghan later claiming to ITV's Tom Bradby that "not many people have asked if I'm ok", royal insiders insist they "rallied around" the couple – who were both in tears at times.
The Most Rev Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, who officiated the ceremony, is also understood to have given "psychological as well as spiritual" support. The principle leader of the Church of England caused hilarity among his staff by failing to recognise Ms Winfrey at the lunchtime reception at Windsor Castle, asking the US chat show host what she did for a living.
By the time the couple had returned from their honeymoon, relations between the Sussexes, the Cambridges and their staff became so bad that Harry and Meghan appeared reluctant to engage with anyone at the June 2018 leaving party for Miguel Head, William's former private secretary.
According to two separate sources, the couple "remained aloof" throughout the bash in the private garden at Kensington Palace. "It was a really convivial atmosphere with William giving a touching speech about Mig, but Harry and Meghan just remained on the outskirts and didn't mingle with anyone. They were the last to arrive and the first to leave."
Eyebrows were similarly raised when, having shared the news of her pregnancy at the Champagne reception following Princess Eugenie's wedding to Jack Brooksbank in October 2018, Meghan declined to attend the evening do. The bride was said to have been "upset" that Harry only "popped along for a drink without Meghan" – although they were due to fly to Australia for their first Commonwealth tour the day after.
During the 16-day tour, which also took in Fiji, Tonga and New Zealand, the couple appeared reluctant to engage with the press. Although Harry managed to be persuaded at one point to speak to reporters at the back of the plane, he told them: "Thanks for coming, even though you weren't invited."
Bullying claims emerge
On the same trip, it was claimed that Meghan had cut short a visit to a market in Fiji because she was concerned about the presence of a UN organisation promoting women, with which she had previously worked but now was no longer associated.
At the time, officials suggested that it was because it was humid and the crowd was oppressive in the market. After Meghan had been ushered away, a female member of her entourage was spotted sitting in an official car, looking extremely upset. Meghan's female personal protection officer left her post shortly afterwards.
Lawyers for the Duchess said she met other leaders from UN Women later on the tour and denied she left for the reason alleged.
Although Mr Knauf had not gone on the tour, he is thought to have been "deeply concerned" by reports of the couple's behaviour overseas.
"There was a sense that they were just refusing to take advice, and insisting on doing everything their way," said one royal source. "No one, from the most senior to the most junior employee, wasn't under constant attack," said another.
Matters came to a head in October 2018 following the departure of a second member of the Duchess's private office.
Mr Knauf emailed Simon Case, then William's private secretary and now the Cabinet Secretary, after conversations with Samantha Carruthers, the head of HR. Mr Case then forwarded it to Ms Carruthers, who is based at Clarence House.
The email read: "I am very concerned that the Duchess was able to bully two PAs out of the household in the past year. The treatment of X* was totally unacceptable. The Duchess seems intent on always having someone in her sights. She is bullying Y and seeking to undermine her confidence. We have had report after report from people who have witnessed unacceptable behaviour towards Y."
The email, which also expressed concern about the stress being experienced by Samantha Cohen, the couple's private secretary, concluded: "I questioned if the household's policy on harassment and bullying applies to principals."
While Mr Case was "very personally supportive" of the individual members of staff, Mr Knauf expressed his concern in the email that "nothing will be done". The palace is now holding an investigation, having been criticised for failing to act sooner.
It was not until a month later that it was reported that Melissa Toubati, the Duchess's former PA, had "quit suddenly", just six months into the job. The following month, it was announced that Ms Cohen would not stay in post after the Sussexes' baby was born.
The couple were apparently "furious" about reports of their high staff turnover, piling more pressure on their PR team to "try to turn negative headlines into positive ones".
According to one former employee: "What people fail to understand is Harry's hatred of the media is probably one of the most important things in his life. It is defining for him. So the narrative is always – it’s the press's fault, never theirs."
That Christmas, the Sussexes were once again photographed alongside the Cambridges on Dec 25 but opted to stay with the Queen at the "main house" rather than Anmer Hall.
It came after an awkward staff Christmas party in which "all mention of Melissa's name was banned", according to one royal insider. "It was as if she never existed." Some employees found it hard to reconcile the couple's erratic conduct with moments of genuine kindness, such as when Meghan would buy female staff members flowers or even jewellery.
Relations break down
By the New Year, relations within Kensington Palace had "irretrievably broken down," with Prince Harry no longer on speaking terms with Mr Knauf after he had failed to persuade him to drop the complaint against his wife. The Sussexes' lawyers deny any such conversation took place.
Sources close to the couple say Ms Toubati, who was asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement, was sacked for misconduct, pointing out neither staff member made complaints of their own to HR. Ms Toubati's friends deny she was sacked for misconduct.
With Harry and Meghan already operating in a silo – and increasingly consulting the Duchess's US team of advisers rather than palace officials – a split of the two households at Kensington Palace appeared an inevitability.
It was around the time that the couple moved to Frogmore Cottage in Windsor in March 2019 that Amy Pickerill became the third of the Duchess's staff to leave her role, having served as her assistant private secretary since November 2017.
Mr Knauf also stepped down to work as senior adviser to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. He is now chief executive of the Cambridges' Royal Foundation. Friends say he "bitterly regrets" not warning Sara Latham, who was appointed as the Sussexes' director of communications in April 2019, how difficult working for the couple could be.
The American PR supremo, who used to advise the Clintons, quickly worked this out for herself when the couple insisted on secrecy around son Archie's birth on May 6, while trying to maximise global coverage.
Around the same time it was falsely claimed that the Duchess had been prevented from doing an interview with CBS anchor Gayle King, Ms Winfrey's close friend. In fact, insiders say "the Duchess was calling shots throughout."
It came after Meghan had attended a high-profile baby shower in New York with Serena Williams and Amal Clooney, without being accompanied by any palace press officers. Concerns were raised behind palace gates when freebies started arriving at New York's Mark Hotel, causing consternation for staff back in the UK having to wrestle with the Royal family's strict rules on gifting.
Having courted controversy throughout the summer of 2019 for snubbing the Queen's invitation to Balmoral and taking four private jets in 11 days instead, relations with the media were at rock bottom at the start of the Sussexes' September tour to Africa.
Royal aides were then left dumbfounded when what had been a surprisingly successful 10-day trip with Archie was overshadowed by Meghan's interview with Mr Bradby, in which she revealed the "struggles" she had faced adapting to life in the Royal family.
Duke's fears for wife
It came as Harry released an attack on the tabloid press as the couple announced they would be suing the Mail on Sunday over the publication of a letter Meghan had written to her father.
In a highly personal and scathing statement, Harry said some newspapers had "vilified her almost daily for the past nine months" and claimed they had published "lie after lie" at Meghan's expense simply because she was out of public view on maternity leave.
Referencing his mother Diana, Princess of Wales, who died in a car crash in Paris while being pursued by the paparazzi, the Duke said: "Though this action may not be the safe one, it is the right one. Because my deepest fear is history repeating itself. I lost my mother and now I watch my wife falling victim to the same powerful forces."
The interview set the tone for their January 2020 announcement that they would be "stepping back as senior royals" to become "financially independent".
As the world gathers to watch the most highly anticipated royal television event since Diana's Panorama interview in 1995, it will be left to the viewers to decide which version of history represents the truth.
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Well a scrub checkin' me, but his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
'Cause I'm looking like class and he's looking like trash
Can't get wit' a deadbeat ass
Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader
Summary: You try to keep Steve from dying of boredom at an Avengers charity gala.
Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, squirting, public sex), little bit of a fight, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!!
A/N: My official entry for @cockslut-padalecki’s “Not My Ninth” challenge!! My prompt was No Scrubs by TLC and Charity Gala. I picked our boy Steve for this one, but like post Avengers pre Winter Soldier Steve. Also, is Thor the best wingman? I feel like I’ve been using him in this role a lot. Happy 9K babe!
Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!
Steve had never felt so uncomfortable in his life.
He hated talking about himself normally, and having to parade around in front of a bunch of rich people was a special kind of torture. But Tony was insistent that the whole team had to be there, and it was for a good cause so he couldn’t say no without being a complete asshole.
He downed the rest of his champagne as some other billionaire asked him the same damn question about how different things were for him now, how much he must miss the 40s, like the war was some golden age of Americana. He just smiled and gave the same polite answers he’d been giving all night, wishing he was able to get drunk. Maybe Thor had snuck in some mead, that could usually do the trick.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt, Captain Rogers, but Mr. Stark sent me to come find you. Something about the silent auction.”
Steve felt his face relax as he turned to look at you, his breath coming out in a deep sigh. You looked amazing in your silver gown, all shimmery and gauzy.
“Sorry folks, duty calls.” He said with a shrug as he followed you away from the stuffed suits. “What does Tony want? I don’t have anything to do with the auction.”
“Yeah, I know, but your jaw was clenched so hard I was worried you were gonna snap something, so I figured I’d come rescue you.” You said, grinning over your shoulder at him.
“God, you’re the best.” He sighed, following you to the bar and leaning against it as you ordered yourself a cocktail.
“I know, right? You want anything?”
“Not unless Thor snuck anything in. It’s only been an hour and I’m this close to ramming my head through a wall.”
“Sorry Cap, I hate these things too but it comes with the territory.” You said with a shrug, sipping on your Manhattan as you turned to face him. “Now, lets go find our Asgardian friend. As your handler, I can’t have you destroying property out of boredom, and I’m pretty sure I saw that giant sipping from a contraband flask a little earlier.”
He grinned as he moved to follow you, weaving through the crowd as you expertly turned away the whales that kept trying to approach him. You were his fifth handler since the battle of New York, and the only one that had lasted longer than a week. Mostly because you didn’t actually try to handle him, just let him be Steve and deal with any PR fallout that came with that. It helped that you had an easygoing nature that he found endearing, and you could always make him laugh. The fight you’d gotten into with Tony about changing his suit had really done it for him though, he hadn’t seen anyone make Stark back down so fast.
“Odinson!” You shouted, beaming once you found the massive blonde. He’d been cornered by a group of old blue hairs who were tittering and trying to touch his biceps. “Sorry ladies, the god of thunder is needed elsewhere, auction business.”
They all made sounds of disappointment as you extracted the relieved looking god from the group of old biddies, pulling him away towards one of the empty corners of the ballroom.
“What is this auction you speak of?” Thor asked once the three of you were separated from the crowd.
“A clever ruse, my good friend.” You said with a smirk. “You’re welcome by the way. The Captain here is on the verge of committing violent acts out of boredom, and expressed a desire to get drunk.”
“Yes, thank you Y/N.” He said with a grin. “I don’t think I can help the Captain with his problem though, maybe he should head to the bar.”
“Oh, you can’t help?” You said cocking your eyebrow at him before shoving your hand inside his tux jacket and pulling out a silver flask. “What’s this then?”
Steve chuckled as Thor tried to stammer out a reply as you just shook your head and tutted at him, handing Steve the flask.
“Listen, just be a good boy and share. Now, I need to go to the ladies room but if any of these rich assholes tries to come bother you again, just start talking about the horrors of war, and get graphic. They hate that shit.”
Steve handed Thor back the flask after taking a sip, already staring to feel a bit of a tingle in his fingers.
“That woman is not to be trifled with.” Thor said appreciatively as he took a swig, handing it back to Steve. “Have you slept with her yet?”
Steve choked on the mead, his eyes bugging out of his head as he tried to cough up a lung and Thor clapped him on the back, scolding him for wasting good liquor.
“Jesus, Thor! What are you talking about? I don’t want to sleep with Y/N!”
“Oh my god, you midgardians and your hang ups. Your hormones spike every time your around her, it’s very distracting.”
“What?!?! How do you know that?” Steve loosened his tie a bit as he felt himself starting to warm up, telling himself it was just from the booze.
“I’m not just the god of thunder, I’m a fertility god.” He said with a grin. “And every time you two are near each other, it’s like being around a couple of rabbits in the spring.”
“Oh god, please stop.” Steve said as he ran his hand over his face in embarrassment.
“No you stop. We’re in a hotel, just get a room and , what’s the phrase I’m looking for ‘fuck her brains out’.”
“Jesus Christ, who taught you that? Never mind, I know it was Tony.” He said, waving a dismissive hand at Thor as he gave him a wicked grin.
“Oh no.” Thor said suddenly, looking over Steve’s shoulder towards the ballroom.
“What now?” Steve said with a heavy sigh, turning to follow his line of sight to where you were standing, talking to an unsteady looking man in a sloppy tux. “Rumlow.”
“Yes, apparently your STRIKE team leader has been sniffing after your handler for months.” Thor narrated, leaning against one of the columns and taking another pull from the flask. “She’s always rebuffed him, though. I don’t think he’s ever tried when he’s drunk before. Wait, Rogers!”
Steve ignored him as he strode towards you, growling under his breath and loosening his tie even more as he watched Rumlow wrap his hand around your bicep and yank you towards him. Steve was close enough to see you roll your eyes, but couldn’t hear what you said to the man as he wrapped his other arm around your waist and smashed his mouth against yours.
“Hey!” Steve shouted, his brow furrowed as Brock pulled his face away from yours to see what the interruption was about.
You took your chance and head butted him, a curse leaving his mouth in a hiss as he released you. You gripped his left wrist around his thumb and drew it back hard, smirking when you felt a snap at the same time you drove you fist into his ribs.
Steve had to pull you off him as you started beating him with your clutch, opening it up at the same time to search for your brass knuckles.
“You don’t fucking touch me, you goddamn sloppy deadbeat motherfucker!” You screamed as Steve carried you away from the main floor, your limbs flailing as you tried to charge back at Rumlow. “Learn to tie a fucking tie you cocksucking son of a bitch.”
Steve did his best not to crack up at the shocked looks the blue bloods were giving you, a chorus of offended gasps following the two of you as you released a steady stream of profanity. He pushed open the doors to the balcony with one hand as he kept his other hand wrapped tightly around your waist as you were still trying to squirm free.
“Damn it, put me down Rogers! I’ll kick your ass too!” You hissed, turning to swat at his chest.
“Okay, okay, Jesus Christ!” He said as you started to kick him, catching him in the shins a couple of times. “Ow.”
“You’re fine.” You said with a shrug, taking a couple deep breaths to calm down.
“Yeah, well Rumlow definitely isn’t. Who gave you brass knuckles?” He said, pulling the weapon out of your clutch.
“Nat did. And it’s not like I even got to use them on that asshole.”
“Yeah but you would’ve.” He said, shaking his head as he handed them back to you. “He didn’t hurt you did he?”
You just snorted as you shoved the knuckles back into your clutch, leaning your back against the railing.
“Good.” He mumbled, suddenly not knowing what to say to you.
You somehow looked even better after your altercation. Your hair was a wild tangle now, loose strands blowing in the breeze. Your lips were swollen from the unwanted kiss, and Steve could feel the heat coming off you as your chest heaved with deep breaths. He hissed through his teeth when he noticed the torn skin on your knuckles.
“Shit, Y/N, you’re bleeding.” He growled, grabbing your hand to inspect the damage.
“Huh, guess so.” You said, watching him through your lashes as he brought your hand closer to his face.
You felt your breath hitch as he ran his thumb over the back of your hand softly, his brow still furrowed with worry. Maybe it was just the adrenaline from the fight, but all you could think about just then was sucking on his thick fingers.
“Hmm?” You must have zoned out for a second.
“You sure you’re ok?”
“I’m great.” You said, your voice a little squeakier than you would’ve liked.
He took a step closer to you and you gasped, suddenly feeling very light headed as you felt a rush of slick flood your panties. His hand left yours and moved to cup your cheek, his thumb tugging at your bottom lip where you had it pressed between your teeth.
“I think I’m gonna kiss you now.” He muttered, his eyes boring into yours, pupils blown wide with lust.
“Good.” You whispered.
His mouth devoured yours, his teeth pulling your lips open so he could slip his tongue inside, curling it against yours as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed you against him. You moaned as you felt his cock hardening against your abdomen, your pussy throbbing with need as he ground himself into you.
He started to sink to his knees and you followed him, your mouth still pressed to his desperately. His hand moved from your waist to dig under your skirt and he let out a growl when he brushed his fingers against your core, pressing them against the soaked silk of your panties.
“Fuck, I wanna taste you so bad.” He grumbled, his lips still pressed to yours. “Wanna see if you taste as good as you smell.”
“Oh god, Steve.” You moaned as he hooked his fingers through the side of your panties and ripped them off you, the elastic snapping against your skin and a shove going up your spine as the night air cooled the wetness between your thighs. “Do it.”
He grinned and gave you a quick peck on the lips before he started to move his mouth down your throat. His hand between your legs started rubbing you in big slow circles as he laid you down, putting just enough pressure on you that you were quickly turning into a wriggling mess.
“Hold still, honey.” He ordered, pulling the sleeves of your dress down just enough that your breasts could pop out, your nipples pebbling in the chilly air. “I’m gonna take my time with you.”
“Fuck.” You moaned as he dragged his tongue over your nipple in a heavy stripe before flicking it softly. Your hands dug in his hair as he sucked and licked at it, just barely brushing it with his teeth until it was raised to an overly sensitive peak before he moved to the other nipple and repeated the process, making you whine.
Once he was satisfied with his work, he pressed a soft kiss to each breast before moving his face between your legs. His hand was making soft wet sounds now as he kept rubbing your sex, and he groaned when he removed it to take a good look at you.
“Fuck if that ain’t the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” He murmured as his lips brushed over your inner thigh.
Your cunt was pulsing with need under his gaze, your plump folds swollen and flushed with heat as he watched you clench around nothing. Everything between your legs was coated in a thick layer of your arousal, and he bit his lip as he watched even more leak out of you.
“I bet I could make you cum with almost nothing, sweetheart.” He teased as he nipped at the soft skin of your inner thighs, inching closer to your pussy before moving away again.
“Steve, please!” You whined, trying to arch your back into his face as you tugged on his hair.
He just grinned before pressing his tongue over your pussy and swirling it through your folds. He had to press his palms down on your hips to keep your body from curling back on itself as he ran his tongue over your sex, lapping at your pussy like his was the first meal he’d had in weeks.
“God you taste so good.” He murmured as he gazed at you through his lashes. “Like fucking peaches.”
You sobbed as he thrust his tongue inside you at the same time his lips wrapped around your swollen clit, making you come immediately. He curled his tongue inside you as your release flowed into his mouth, moaning into your pussy as you spasmed against his face.
Your breath was coming in ragged gasps as you came down, your muscles still twitching randomly as aftershocks shook through your abdomen. He grinned as he sat up over you, undoing his tie before moving to take off his belt as you writhed underneath his gaze. Your brain finally reset and you sat up between Steve’s legs, nuzzling yourself into his neck as you worked to unbutton his shirt.
“You back, honey?” He chuckled as you ran your teeth over his collarbone, dipping your hands under his shirt to press against his chest. “I was a little worried.”
“You’ll find I’m extremely resilient, Steve.” You murmured before sinking your teeth into his pec as you started to undo his fly.
“Shit, good to know.” He groaned as you drew his cock out of his pants and gave it a squeeze.
He gripped your chin and drew your face up to his, raising you up to your knees as he gave you a soft kiss. You moved his cock in your hand to line him up with your entrance, teasing his tip against your folds. Steve wrapped his hands around your waist and lifted you a bit higher before slowly drawing you down onto his length.
You let out a thin keen as he stretched you open, relishing the sting as your cunt fluttered around him, adjusting to his girth. He rested his forehead against yours as he started moving his hips at a languorous pace.
“Fuck, you feel so good.” He muttered against your lips before moving to bury his face in your shoulder. “So tight and warm and soft.”
You gripped the hair at the base of his neck tightly as his hips started moving faster, slapping against yours. You felt yourself clench around him as he ground against your clit, making you gasp.
“Shit, Steve! Right there!”
“Jesus, already?” He murmured, running his lips over your throat.
“Just... fuck, you’re so big, Steve. Oh my god, I’m cumming.”
He hooked a hand under your ass to keep you from collapsing as your entire body arched violently, almost bending backwards on itself as you swallowed a scream. Your cunt fluttered and spasmed around him as he lifted you to wrap around him, his breath hot against your neck.
“Holy shit honey.” He muttered as he pulled you down against him, making you whimper. “You ok?”
“I’m great. Don’t you fucking stop.” You said, tilting his head back so you could press your mouth to his.
He grinned against your lips as he fucked his hips up into you, keeping his eyes locked on yours as his cock dragged over every inch of you, nudging against your cervix and making your breath hitch.
“Right there?” He asked as you dug your nails into his scalp and bit at his lips.
“Fuck, oh goddamn it, Steve.”
You shrieked into his mouth as you came apart, your muscles seizing as your pussy strangled his cock. His hips stuttered and you were suddenly flooded with warmth, his spend sitting into you and coating your canal in thick white ropes. He sat back on his heels and pulled out of you, and you shuddered as your release squirted all over the front of his pants.
“Shit, did you just squirt honey?” He asked, giving you an appreciative glance as he started to tuck himself back in and button his shirt up.
“I think so. Fuck, that’s never happened before.” You said with a shrug.
“Well, damn baby.” He said as he stood up, offering you a hand to help you to your feet.
“Shit, we’ve gotta go back in there.” You said, running your hand over your face. “Oh my god, Stark is going to kill us. Hold on and give me a second to think.”
Steve just leaned back on the railing and gave a satisfied smile as he watched you pace back and forth, wringing your hands.
“Ok I think I’ve got it, just one second.”
You went to the door and opened it a crack, popping your head through, jumping when you found Thor leaning against the wall right there.
“Hey, Thor. What’s up buddy?”
“Just keeping the other guests from wandering out and seeing you and the Captain humping like rabbits.”
“Appreciate it. We need a distraction though, cuz we’re both a little messy, and I don’t really feel like explaining that to everyone.”
“Got it, what if I blow out the lights in that chandelier?”
“I think that’ll probably work.” You said, giving him a nod before turning back to Steve. “Alright Rogers, we’re making a run for the elevator. Thor, blow it.”
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Let's say that darling has been very well behaved for over a year, stockholm has long since instilled into them, and shyly asks if they can try for a baby. How would the boys react? Which ones are on board for knocking up his darling? Pls I'm so horny for breeding it's embarrassing.
Ahh I finally finished for these! It took a while lol but I tried to cover most of it
Zhongli is the best for taking care of you. He's not super panicky, but he is subtly concerned due to seeing his darling as so fragile. Constantly running around and getting you everything you ask for and a bunch of things you didn't ask for. Making sure you virtually never get up, gets you all the food you crave and the softest things to lay on.
And he'll insist on it. Like... He won't let you do anything, even those few freedoms you had before. Will constantly be checking up on you, probably won't leave the house. You're gonna be seeing even more of him than usual.
Now, yandere wise... An escape attempt during this time... Won't go over well. As usual, he kind of deludes himself about it, attributes it to hysteria of some sort, induced by your imbalanced hormones. That's ok. You just need something to keep you controlled. Unfortunately, he can't just give you hormonal control, as it could mess you or the baby up, so most likely it means keeping you heavily sedated. Makes things much easier.
He's surprisingly really good at handling a kid, though. Very gentle and capable, not particularly nervous, but not careless. He's one you won't have to worry about.
Albedo can be... Obnoxious. Bless him. You can't eat this, there's a .0002% chance it can harm the baby. You should sleep in this position, wake up at this time, do breathing exercises, constantly check your temperature and blood pressure and... You get the idea. He's very matter of fact about it, but deep down he's a nervous boi about it all. He's worried about possibilities of something bad happening, and will feel like it's his fault if something bad did happen. He'll be overall eager to actually have a kid though.
So he'll kind of rule your every action for a while - it's better not to challenge him, really, because if you do he'll go on and on about the medical, scientific reasons why you can't do this and have to do that. He's sweet about it though, you can tell he really cares. Outside of what he's dictated as necessary or forbidden by health reasons, he'll try to get you the things you want and crave, and will try to keep you sitting down as much as possible.
He gets extra nervous when holding a kid. Very stiff, perfectly still, probably gives it back very quickly out of nervousness.
Childe is ever the smug bastard. Wants to show you off, will take you places because look at him and the cute little wife he knocked up! It's a property thing, you're his little wife and he fucked you and now you have his baby. He's very proud of it all.
And actually, he'll be a little sweeter than usual all around, he's just in such a good mood. He'll have to lay off the sadistic tendencies for the sake of your health, so you get some respite in that regard, he becomes a lot more gentle, and will even do sweet things for you. He'll still be kind of condescending, though, teasing you as usual.
On a yan level, he's... More obsessive. In the past, he might have been one to leave little windows of opportunity to leave just to chase you, gave you wiggle room to be defiant so he could get the thrill of punishing you, but that's gone now. The moment you act up he'll lay down the consequences, and make it very clear you won't be disobeying from now on.
Holding a kid, he's more gentle than usual, but will definitely be one to pull some shit like pretending like he's about to drop it just to see you panic.
Bonus, a few years down the road he's gonna be super obsessive and showoff-y. Think Maes Hughes level of proud.
Diluc is kind of hilarious because he's a nervous wreck. It's adorable. It gets annoying kinda fast, though, he's constantly panicked over every little thing you do, acts like a slight pained groan is a sign that you're dying or something. He's kind of embarrassed about his own tendency to be overly worried, and he'll cave to being teased about it. He'll be very happy initially because it fits the ideal in his head of what he wants, though.
He's actually not particularly worse, because you're already pretty restricted. He will, however, significantly reduce the number of people that come to the winery, instead choosing to meet all of his appointments elsewhere if not cancel them entirely. He doesn't like people being close to you, even just in proximity - even if they don't know you're there, it makes him feel uneasy. He'll check on you frequently, more than usual, and insist on everything you eat, drink, and every waking moment is accounted for and approved of.
He'll hesitate to hold one because he's so nervous about dropping it or something. And he nearly does because he's so trembling. Again, it's actually really cute, and he's definitely embarrassed by it.
Kaeya is... Problematic. As I've said before, he's actually one of a few where you run the risk of jealousy. It's incredibly immature, and he's well aware of that, so he'll keep it well hidden. But it kind of irks him if he sees how much you stress over a baby. As a result, he's one of the ones who might actually be in a worse mood than he was before. He'll need a lot of reassurance, not in those exact words because he's too proud to say so directly, but reassurance that you'll always love him more. And it's in your best interest to give an affirmative answer. Pregnancy with him would probably be an accident, but if you ask he might agree to it.
Will definitely be more restrictive, and potentially a bit rougher, even. He'll still feel bad for you and do things for you, but he'll cling to you even more, and more shamelessly than usual. He'll double check the locked doors, make sure there's a guard posted to grab you if you try to bolt. If you do, it's even less pretty than usual. He'd be one that isn't afraid to threaten you, really. If you like a kid so much more than him, you wouldn't want him to take the kid away and give it to someone else once it's born, would you?
If holding it, he kinda... Calms down. A lot of those doubts and negative feelings are still there, but he can't help but feel an affection too. He'll get really quiet, but serious.
Xingqiu is a bit similar to Albedo. Very matter of fact about it all, and boy does his research. He's happy about it and gladly will knock you up, but he's very particular about everything. Like, good God, you didn't know there were so many books on pregnancy. He's a worrier, but he's got a little bratty pride and won't let you know he's a nervous wreck about it all. He makes himself out to be The Expert, but he's actually pretty worried about your health. Similarly, he'll regulate you quite a bit, insist on having his family's servants do things for you, so he doesn't have to spend a second away from your side.
He likes to spend a lot of time fantasizing, though, he's also one of those that really likes to do "child planning." He's got their education planned out, he's got lists of names, he smiles as he daydreams about doing this and that. Overall he's one of the best you can have in this regard.
He's the gentlest little thing if he's holding a child. You don't have to worry about anything, really, he's soft and gentle and probably the best of all for holding.
Razor is, and y'all saw this coming, very pleased! Generally in a very good mood, smiling and nuzzling you even more than usual. To be honest, your lifestyle doesn't change much, still consisting of sitting around all day, but he insists you sleep more, and will trade any walks you used to take with even more naps.
Likes to lay his head on your belly, generally just being extremely physically affectionate, cuddly and nuzzly even more than usual, which is saying something tbh. He's the opposite of the Albedo/Xingqiu type - he'll be asking you questions because he understands the very basic concept of fuck -> pregnant -> baby, but ???? How does it work? Why are you so moody? Why are you craving weird food? Boy did not realize how much goes into it all and it's very confusing. You can use this to your advantage, though. Tell him humans can't fuck while pregnant or it's guaranteed to harm the baby or something - he'll be devastated but reluctantly accept it. You'll just have a sore throat for a while.
Please don't let this boy carry a baby without specifically teaching him how to do so. You'll have a heart attack when he tries to pick it up by the back of the neck or by the foot or something. He's happy though, at least.
Xiao is... Difficult. He'll be actually pretty easily agreeing to it, really, he has no real reason to object even if he's uneasy. He's kind of detached from it, and really his behavior doesn't change much outside of a few comments here or there and willingness to get you certain foods. He probably would find a trusted source to teach him what he needs to know on how to take care of you, he's too proud to ask you himself. It's safe to say his knowledge on it all is virtually zero, but deep down he IS concerned for your well-being, even if he doesn't show it very well.
Xiao's already one of the most restrictive yans, so like with Razor, your lifestyle doesn't change much - you go from being locked in a room all day... To be locked in a room all day, except now you're pregnant. He'll probably be more cautious to check on you more often, though.
Tbh, he's also one that might get a bit jealous, but he wouldn't know why, rather, doesn't recognize and understand his own feelings. He'll just kind of sulk a bit, even pout, it's pretty uncharacteristic and even a bit funny.
Holding a kid, you'll probably be a bit uneasy, just because he has no concept of gentleness, but he does surprisingly well if given instructions.
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eyes that see (part two)
Summary: Your life consists of caring for others. This is a story of you learning to care for yourself.
Part Two Summary: After a series of stressful events, you agree to go out with Sy.
Pairing: Syverson x Reader
Warnings: Slow Burn, Unreliable Narration, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Menstruation.
Notes: Any mistakes are mine! I’m again requesting that you bear with this second part, too, since it’s more background material to lead up to the rest of the story which is very Sy-centric. I’m having a lot of fun writing it... Also--I don’t have an update schedule, unfortunately, but Sy’s my muse, so if things keep going like they are, I’ll keep posting relatively quickly. Talk to me if you want about stuff!!
More notes: I'm just realizing that entire sentences I've written have been mixed up and put in random spots? I have no idea? Sorta upset cause it makes this confusing now.... Will fix as soon as I can. Thanks Tumblr
Tag List: Let me know and I’ll add ya-- @seriouslygoodlookinggents, @sugarpenchant, @cynic-spirit, @speakerforthedead0
It only takes two more days for your friend Amelia to predictably bring Sy up again. It’s literally the first topic of discussion when you see her at work on Monday morning--not the massive hangover she had on Saturday, not how the rest of Johnny’s birthday was, none of that. Just Sy.
“He’s honestly such a good guy,” she tells you as she stretches the safety belt across her lap in the passenger seat to your right. You’re about to drive across the county together in one of the agency cars to pick up three siblings going into Foster Care and transport them to your center.
After you start the vehicle, you stare at Amelia stonily. “That’s the line you’re gonna use? Really? He’s a good guy?”
"What?" she asks as she brushes her hair with her fingers. "He is."
"Cool," you reply. You hold up your folder that’s on the center console. “So did Monica brief you? One older kid--seven, I think--and two toddlers. Both of them are supposed to be potty-trained, but I got Pull-Ups in here just in case. We’ll see how well-behaved they are...They’re gonna all be squished together in the back of this sedan.”
"I was about to give him your number, you know. After you left."
You start driving and sigh. "Amelia…"
"Y/N, c’mon. Even with as much as I was drinkin’, I saw how he was lookin’ at you. So I figured I’d play Cupid and go 'head and give him your number, but he said he'd get it from you himself."
“Oh, did he?” you utter. "How very humble of him."
Amelia nearly cackles.
“Would you stop? He was probably only saying that 'cause he didn't want it at all and was just tryin’ to be nice."
Instantly, Amelia’s laughing stops. “What are you even talking about?”
“Nothing,” you mutter.
“No, seriously, what do you mean? How does that make any sense?”
“Nothing,” you say louder. “Nevermind. It’s just--If I wanted a hook-up or something, I’d get on Tinder.”
“Uh, no, you wouldn’t,” Ameila counters with.
"Okay, no, I wouldn't," you concede, smiling. She playfully pulls on your arm until you shrug her off so you can continue to drive. “I just don’t have time for a relationship,” you tell her. “You know this.”
"Who said anything about a relationship?"
“I dunno,” you mumble, taking a turn.
“Girl, you’re into him, too, I know you are.”
“Look, just ‘cause he’s extremely, extremely good looking doesn’t mean…” You sigh. “Seriously, Amy, I really don’t think I can handle one more thing being thrown at my life right now. I’m busy enough as it is.”
Your friend shrugs. “It could just be casual. Something to relieve you from how busy you are...”
“I wouldn’t even know how to do something like that.”
Amelia shrugs. “Just be yourself.”
You scoff. “Being myself repels men.”
Her mouth drops open. “You’re so freaking hard on yourself, Y/N. Just have fun with it.”
“I’m not gonna have fun at what’ll ultimately be my own expense, Amy. What could he possibly want with me? There were dozens of other chicks at the bonfire who were talkin’ to him.”
"Well, who the hell wouldn't?"
“Just sayin’, I’d just be one in a line of many. Obviously he’s gotten around. Looking like that.”
Amelia heavily sighs. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Look! I can’t just--”
“Why are you so against this? You’re finding reasons that don’t even exist to stop yourself from maybe having a really good thing happen to you."
"Seriously, I’ve already got so much on my plate. I don’t need...I don’t need a man to be happy or anything,” you say. “And I’m not in any way special, I just happened to be who Sy’s drunk friend accidentally knocked over.”
“You make me sad sometimes, you know.”
"Well. Be sad about things actually worth being sad about," you say, lifting the paperwork next to you. “These kids are separated from their parents because they’re both in prison on drug charges. Let’s be sad about that.”
"Y/N, you know I didn't mean it like that.”
You look over at Amelia and softly smile to show her there’re no hard feelings. “I know. I get it. And I’m happy you care, really, but I’m fine. Seriously."
You turn up the oldies radio station you’re listening to, and Amelia drops the topic.
After work, you rush to campus to make it on time for your only in-person class you have this semester, but you’re uncharacteristically late after getting stuck in traffic. Your arrival brings unwanted attention to you as your professor is talking, and you get embarrassed while you take your seat and stay that way for the whole lecture.
You wish you liked your instructor.
Or you wish your instructor at least liked you.
It’s September, so the fall semester just began a few weeks ago. It didn’t take you long to feel out of place in this class. Everyone in it is sort of young, like fresh-faced and directly out of undergrad young, unlike you, who, in addition to working all through college (and most of high school, too), went directly into the workforce after getting your Bachelor’s and only now have decided to add to it. You feel like that weird older person who’s decided to go back to college too late or something. And you’re not even what you would consider old. Like, at all.
Either way, you’d think that your actual experience in the field would be appreciated a little more.
Whatever. At least you can do most of the work for this degree online and with only periodic in-person meetings regarding your thesis.
From campus, it’s a rush to get back home so you can take over watching the kids for Justine before she goes out. You quickly whip up something for all four of her children to eat and then start the water for their bath. Humming along to the music playing from your phone propped up on the sink, you cover the two little ones--Braylyn, four, and Michael, three--with suds.
“Is Mommy working tonight?" Braylyn asks while she plays with a bath-shark.
"Yep," you tell her. Justine is actually out on a date tonight, but you don't let any of the kids know that. "Chin up, look at the ceiling," you tell Braylyn before rinsing out all the shampoo from her hair.
Beside her is Michael, who Justine got pregnant with almost immediately after having Braylyn. His hair’s short, so you easily wash that, but getting him clean while he tries to wiggle away from the washrag is another story.
After you get Braylyn and Michael out of the tub, you call for the two older boys, Luke and Daniel, to hop in since they can wash themselves with minimal help because they’re seven and eight. While they’re splashing around instead of getting clean, you get Michael in his Pull-Up and pajamas and then brush Braylyn’s hair after she dresses herself.
You love them all very much, but God, together they can get so loud. When everyone’s finally bathed and dressed, it’s still an ongoing process to get their teeth brushed and then get them actually calmed down for bed. You always let them watch TV or start a movie or something for a bit before actually going to sleep, though, and during that time, you heat yourself up something to eat.
When the kids hop in their beds and you finally get to snuggle under your own covers that night, you feel like you’ve had the world’s longest day. Instead of shutting down, your brain fires up, and you start over-thinking, as you’re unfortunately prone to do. Your brain scans and ruminates over every moment of your day, beginning with your conversation with Amelia this morning and ending with the hugs you’d just given Justine’s kids before tucking them in.
You push away the feelings of resentfulness that well up inside you when you start wondering where Justine is right now and what exactly she’s doing.
She deserves to date. It makes her happy. She doesn’t care if it ends up not working out with whoever the guy is, just as long as she gets little moments of happiness where she can.
You think you’re the exact opposite. And that, you suppose, is why you’re alone.
That Saturday, after a truly exhausting week, you get up early and prepare to go to the library. With your bag packed with your laptop, a spiral notebook, a legal pad, and a bunch of pens, pencils, and highlighters, you take off before anyone else in the house even wakes up. You’re not on-call this weekend, you don’t have to work at the bar, and you don’t have to watch Justine’s kids at all, either. Your goal is to spend all day studying if you can.
When you walk outside, the air feels light and cool. The grass is wet with early-morning dew, and the sky is just starting to turn pink. You look around for a moment, enjoying how quiet the street is. You live in a pretty rural area, but sounds of loud trucks, children playing, and farm animals are common. At the moment you don’t hear anything, not even the birds. Not even the cows.
This part of Georgia is covered in beautiful mountains. Since you’ve lived here, you’ve gotten to go on a lot of hikes, but you rarely have the time to do that anymore these days. There’s a path in the woods behind your house, though, that you know will get you to the library since the forest is the perimeter of the entire town. Going this route will be one hundred percent out of your way and one hundred percent worth it. Inside a building of some sort more often than not these days, you miss the outdoors.
As you walk, you split your time between zoning out entirely and then vividly noticing and appreciating every scene of nature you’re a part of--the leafy crunch beneath your shoes, the drag of tree branches against your shins, the dank smell of mud. The path eventually forks out just at the end of Main Street, and you follow the thinning trees until you reach grass and then finally pavement. It’s not until you’re a few steps down the actual sidewalk that you see him.
You almost gasp at how good he looks.
He's stepping out of a building by the bank that you recognize as one of the only physical therapy places in town, and as he approaches the sidewalk, there’s literally no option besides running back into the woods to pretend you don’t see him. Within seconds, he’s standing directly in front of you.
If Amelia were there, she’d call it fate or some shit.
"Well, hey," he says, his voice lilted a little in surprise when he notices you. "Y/N."
You can't really be shocked that he’s remembered your name because you're too busy feeling mortified at your probable appearance. After walking for so long, you're sweaty, and you don’t have any makeup on. With your hair in a messy bun, you’re wearing workout shorts and an old college t-shirt, and you feel less than presentable to say the least. Sy, on the other hand, looks as rugged and manly as he did when you first met him. He’s dressed in an almost-identical outfit to the one last weekend, down to the boots and camo cargo shorts. The only difference is that his shirt is green instead of red today, he’s got a cap on, and he’s wearing a brace-thing on one of his knees.
"Hey," you greet, smiling lightly. “Sy, right?”
“That’s what they call me,” he drawls, a soft smile playing on his mouth in response to your own. "How're the hands?"
"Oh. Fine." You hold them up to show that they’re unbandaged now, just red scrapes across the skin. "Thanks again for all the help," you belatedly say.
He just nods. “Where you on your way to this early?”
“Library,” you answer, pointing just a few feet ahead of you.
“You walk here from home?” he asks, and you give him a somewhat curious look. Do you look that bad? “You said you live near the library,” Sy reminds you.
“Oh, right,” you reply. You’re truly awful at small-talk. Or making conversation at all where you don’t end up sounding like a total dumbass. “Yeah, I--I like going on walks, so when I come here, I normally take this back-trail in the woods there. Clears my head so I can work.” You unwrap your hands currently around the bands of your backpack to point it out.
The sun is starting to rise higher in the sky, making the morning humid already. You continue to avoid looking directly at Sy so he won’t witness exactly how horrid you must look right now, but you can’t help sneaking glances at how he’s sweating in the humidity, too. His perspiration is settling in patches near the neckline of his shirt, and across his broad chest, there are little splotches of wetness.
He says something you don’t catch, and you politely ask, “Sorry?”
Sy takes a step towards you, and you can smell that familiar scent of whatever body wash or cologne he must use. “Asked about your backpack there. You in school?”
“Yeah, I’m a grad student over at Western,” you say, tucking a sweaty piece of hair behind your ear.
“You stay busy,” he comments.
“You have no idea,” you murmur, and this is where normal people would ask the other person about themselves, anything about themselves, but you’re so worried about how you’re coming across that it doesn’t even enter your mind.
“Well, it sure was nice that you got to go to the bonfire, then. Johnny has ‘em from time to time.” Sy adjusts the cap on his head. “They’re not always like last weekend, though. Garrison definitely felt it the next mornin'.”
"Yeah,” you chuckle, “Amelia said the same."
“Said he feels like shit he ran over ya like that without meanin’ to. Wanted to reach out and apologize himself. If you wanted me to give him your number, I could.”
As you hear clicking footsteps approaching, you step to the side so whoever is walking down the sidewalk can pass. It’s an older lady, and as she starts to approach, she looks directly at Sy and waves at him.
"Oh--Hello, dear," the woman smiles and warmly greets Sy, even going so far as reaching for his hand to grasp in both of hers. “It’s so good to see you out and about again.”
With his free hand, Sy lifts the brim of his hat and nods to her. "Missus White," he says.
“You tell your grandma we miss her in church and that she’s on all of our prayer lists.”
“Yes, ma’am, sure will. She sure appreciates it.”
You stare at Syverson in wonder. Who is this man? The whole town seems to know him, yet you’ve never seen him around before. Not even at the bar.
When the older woman continues walking down the sidewalk, Sy looks back at you almost in expectation, and you have to remind yourself what the last thing you were talking about was. You shake your head at yourself.
“Just...if you see him--Garrison--tell him it’s really no big deal. Shit happens. I've really...I oughtta get goin' now,'' you say, motioning to the library a few buildings down while tentatively getting your legs to move that way. "I'll…see ya around, I guess."
"I'd like to see you more than just around."
Slowly, you look up at Syverson. The way he’s looking at you…You're a little intimidated, solely because he's tall, hugely muscular, and has such a deep voice, but his face is gentle, and he’s been nothing but kind to you. Quickly, you remember how many females spoke to him at the bonfire last weekend, however, and you resolutely tell yourself you won't be just another person to fall for whatever charming magic this guy possesses. You won’t be just a fun thing to play with. No matter how hot he is. No matter how nice he is.
"Um. Well, yeah, I mean, I’m sure you will, since it’s such a small town. Have a good one," you say, waving slightly.
“Take it easy,” he tells you, and you turn and walk away.
What is even wrong with you.
Three days later, when you’re driving home from another shitty day at the office and are just one street away from the road you live on, your car battery dies. You’ve got just enough speed going to be able to pull to the side of the road before the car comes to a complete stop.
After sitting in shock for a moment, you get your shit together. You grab your two bags, step out of the car, and slam the door shut before locking it. Angrily, you begin speed-walking down the road until you decide to march right back to your vehicle and kick one of its tires. Just because.
You’re on day one of your period, and you hate the fucking world right now. You don’t want to fucking walk. You’re wearing high heels. Your body hurts.
“Fuck!” you angrily mutter, and then you turn around and start walking home again. The air is hot and smells like rain.
You’ve never had a car that you could completely rely on. Everything you’ve owned has always been used, and for your entire life, you’ve always faced trepidation when even turning their engines on--that dreadful feeling of not knowing if the thing will even start or not. It fucking sucks.
Thunder roars through the sky, and you begin to walk quicker. Just when you reach your road, rain starts falling. Pelting, more like, in heavy, heavy droplets. As if the water’s just been sitting in the clouds all day, waiting for this moment. You try to walk faster, but your heavy bags and clanky shoes don’t help. You end up just taking the shoes off so you can walk barefoot.
“Why?!” you shout at the sky. “Why, why why!?”
You want to do something dramatic like start crying or something, but you don’t. You hold your bags closer to you because one has your laptop in it and the other all your important paperwork, and you keep your head down as you blindly walk as fast as you can. You’re getting soaked.
“Wait up!” you hear not too much longer after that, and you know that voice. Even over the sound of the rain, you know that voice. It’s been haunting your anxious daydreams now for days.
Sy is literally on your road, the road you live on. He’s almost right at your house. Instantly, you wonder if he’s stalking you or something before the logical part of your brain kicks in. He’s standing by a black truck that must be his own parked in front of a house that is definitely not yours. Of course he isn’t stalking you.
There’s a large umbrella in his grip, and you can tell he’s somewhat struggling to jog as he crosses the wet street to cover your head with it. Apparently some type of military-grade umbrella, it’s just as huge as he is, and it effectively covers both of your heads and even the two bags you’re holding.
Out of breath, you stand there panting. You’re extremely close to Sy right now, probably the closest since he bandaged your hands for you. He’s trimmed his beard a little since the last time you saw him, and he’s also gotten a haircut. He looks...so fucking good. When you finally stop staring at his chest and various parts of his face to shift your gaze to his light eyes, he’s already looking into yours.
With the way the rain’s falling around you both, with your dripping wet hair and bare feet, with you staring up at him saving the day again, it could almost be romantic.
“Thanks,” you say, trying to sound genuine, but you’re more confused than anything. You don’t know what he’s doing here. “I’m--I live right here, though, actually, so--I won’t need this.”
“You’re neighbors with my grandma,” Sy says as he points to the house y’all are standing next to with his thumb. “I knew you looked familiar.”
“Oh, Miss Donna.” You know the lady well. She's an extremely nice woman and always brings Justine’s kids cookies on random occasions. “I should’ve recognized the resemblance,” you dryly say, and it makes Sy smile since he and his grandmother look absolutely nothing alike.
Gosh, it’s a pretty smile. Hidden behind that huge beard, it’s like a hidden gem.
Dammit, Y/N. Don’t fall for this shit.
“Thanks for the umbrella, but I live right there, so I’m just gonna run to the porch and I think I’ll be okay.”
“I’ll hold this above your head while you go,” Sy unnecessarily says, and you look to him with an argument already on the tip of your tongue. The somewhat stern expression he gives you as he waits for you to begin walking makes you swallow it.
Wordlessly, you walk a few feet down the road, through your front yard, and up the stairs of your porch, and Sy accompanies you the whole time. It’s raining harder now.
In front of the door, you finally meet Sy’s eyes again. “I guess next time you visit your grandma, I’ll see you.”
"I'll be sure to start visitin' her a lot more, then."
Wracked with cramps, days later you’re curled up in bed when your phone starts sounding out the tone you have reserved for your mother. Groaning, you answer it.
“I’ve been calling you since last week, have you seen?” she asks, and it’s not accusatory, but it still makes you feel bad.
“Yeah, Mom, I got all your messages. Sorry. There's just been a lot going on,” you say.
“Yeah,” she replies, “here too.”
“So do you think you’re gonna move back up here when you’re finished?” your mom eventually asks you, and it’s so random that you have to pause to make sense of what she’s talking about. School. She’s talking about school.
You love your mom, but she’s just...a lot sometimes. She doesn’t have many people to talk to, and because you’re her daughter and will listen no matter what, and also because you’re naturally pretty good at listening, she unloads everything to you. It always ends up stressing you out.
You almost fall asleep listening to her talk because you’re not contributing to the conversation whatsoever; it’s all her. You pull the phone away from your ear to see how long the call’s been going on. Ten minutes. Ten full minutes.
“You can get jobs in social work anywhere, you know,” she reminds you.
“I--I really don’t know, Mom. Maybe. It’s the same answer as it always is. It all depends.”
“I like it down here. At least for now.”
“Alright,” she sighs. “Well, I’m gonna let you go. Please don’t be a stranger.”
“Yeah. Love you.”
“Love you, too, sweetie,” she says, and you hang up the phone.
You need a nap.
You feel a heavy weight of guilt and obligation sit on your chest. You seriously love your mom, you do, but making time to remember to call her just so she can vent to you feels like one more thing you need to remember to do so you don’t upset someone.
Just when you get comfortable enough again to actually nap for a few minutes, your bedroom door opens.
“Hey!” Justine walks inside and greets you. “Was gonna put our clothes out on the line, wanna join?”
“Not really,” you answer honestly. You know y’all’s dryer went out last week, but laundry is the last thing on your mind right now.
Justine sits on the end of your bed. “Oh. Well, I looked at the forecast, and there’s supposed to be more rain soon, so I went ahead and washed a bunch of clothes since it’s sunny today and we could go on and hang them up.”
You sit up and look at your hamper. “You washed my clothes?”
“Yeah,” she says, smiling. “No need to thank me. Saves us both a trip to the laundromat until I can get a new dryer picked out.”
Your mouth is a thin line. You get that she’s just trying to be nice, but...you had period panties in your hamper. With your mother, and with everything else going on in your life, you want to fucking punch a mirror.
You slide out of bed. “Yeah,” you mumble to Justine. “I’ll be right out.”
With an aching stomach, repeatedly bending down to pull wet clothes out of a basket does not appeal to you. You do it anyway, knowing it has to be done.
You used to do this kind of stuff with your grandma when you were little, and as you start hanging up your clothes outside, that’s immediately what it makes you think of. You don’t have time to be feeling sentimental right now because you’re suddenly so stressed out you want to cry.
Going through the basket of clothing as quickly as you can, your focus is to get everything hung up within the next five minutes so you can go back inside and get a ten-minute nap. Justine doesn’t have the same speedy goals and instead is taking her sweet-ass time.
“Sy come back any?” she asks in that nosy way of hers. You love her like family because she practically is, but you’re not in the mood.
“Not that I know of,” you answer.
“Huh?” she hollers from the other end of the yard.
“I said, not that I know of,” you repeat louder.
“I just love Sy. And his grandma’s so nice, too. You guys would look so cute together.”
Your call with your mom has you agitated enough to snap at Justine. “Jesus,” you say, your voice definitely louder now. “Why does everyone wanna push me on this guy so bad?!”
“He’s a really nice man,” Justine tells you, and you stare at her. There’s that line again. He’s “really nice”.
You heave a sigh. You shouldn’t’ve opened up to her about Sy at all. “Justine,” you warn. “I already told you about Amelia. Don’t you start, too.”
“It’d be good to see you with someone, that’s all,” she explains. “You haven’t dated anyone since you moved down here.”
You look her dead in the eye. “I’ve got two working hands and a vibrator with five settings.”
“Y/N!” She starts laughing. “You did not just say that.”
You speak around the clothespin in your mouth. “Just did.”
“Are you just not into him?”
You could laugh at how ridiculous that question is. “It’s not that.”
“Then talk to him. Have fun,” she tells you. “He’s every girl around here’s wet-dream.”
You sigh. “Yeah, that’s the thing. He’s probably slept with, like, a hundred of them.”
“Not nearly,” a deep voice startles you. It’s Sy, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the chain-link fence.
Your hand flies to your chest and you drop the shirt you were preparing to hang up. “For fuck’s sake!” you shout, and Sy--along with Justine--literally laughs at you.
“Ooh, nice mouth on ya, huh?” he asks with a smirk, taking it upon himself to open the gate and walk into the backyard like he owns it. This man is unbelievable.
“You’re suddenly visitin’ Grandma a lot these days, huh?” you counter with, turning away from him to finish hanging up your wet laundry. You brush blades of grass off the shirt you’d just dropped.
“She fell a few weeks ago. Tryin’ to keep her from goin’ into assisted living,” Sy explains as he approaches your side. His scent is stronger than the fresh laundry you’re hanging up.
As you clip the shirt onto the clothesline, your face falls. "Shit. I--”
Sy holds up a hand. “Don’t worry about it.” He leans against the giant metal pole of the clothesline and watches as you continue to work. Your panties are hanging up right there. “You got some mighty strong opinions about me, don’t you?”
You want to apologize for saying rude shit behind his back, but you won’t. You’re always apologizing for things. From the corner of your eye, you see Justine watch the two of you with amusement in her eyes.
“It’s not--I’m sorry,” you say quietly, apologizing even though you just told yourself not to. “I didn’t mean what I said like--I don’t even know. I just,” you continue murmuring. “I don’t really date.”
"Who said anything about a date?" He shrugs. “Go on an outing with me,” he amends.
“An outing?” you repeat.
“When two people do somethin’ together,'' Sy explains with a glint in his eyes. “We could go to the library. Read together.”
You squint your eyes at him. He’s mocking you. You walk a few steps away from him to grab the next item from the laundry basket and hang it up.
Sy follows you. “What else do you like to do, then? What are you into? Besides great music.” He doesn’t quite smile, but his eyes...God, those eyes...They make it look like he is.
His persistence is wasting his own time, and he doesn’t even know it. “Look, what do you keep talkin’ to me for, seriously?”
He looks taken aback. “I like you,” he says, and that’s not what you’re expecting to come out of his mouth at all.
You look away. Yeah, he’s saying that now, but-- “You don't even know me.”
“Yeah, so, I wanna get to know you. Is that so bad?”
You think about all of your obligations here--your work, school, Justine’s kids. Then you think about what Amelia and Justine are always telling you. Do something for yourself for once. Stop worrying. Have fun.
Is this even doing something for yourself? When you know that going forward with it will lead you nowhere? There’s literally no reason why this Adonis would want to go on a date with you, would want to get to know someone like you better. Literally no reason.
“I don’t know…”
And even if he’s got himself currently convinced that there is a reason to want to get to know you better, once he actually does, you know he’ll change his mind.
Sy notices your conflict. "If you really aren't interested, I'll stop botherin’ you. No pressure either way."
You look over your shoulder to witness Justine doing a bad job of eavesdropping, then you look up at Sy. His eyes are amazingly clear in the light of the sun, even under the cap he’s wearing. You blame your own stupid brain and maybe a tiny bit of hormones when you reach into your back pocket for your phone.
Pulling it out, you look up at Sy again. “Here,” you tell him, placing your phone into his hand. The skin of your fingers briefly touches. “Put your number in here and I’ll text you so you’ll have mine.”
As he types his number into your phone, you do your best not to salivate at how large his fingers are. You also do your best to hide how secretly excited you are that this is happening. Maybe you do deserve to have some type of fun in your life right now, despite how you know this will end.
It doesn’t slip your notice whatsoever that just within an hour of you texting Sy so he can have your own number, you get a random text with the longest run-on sentence ever: “hey this is garrison i was at johnnys bonfire few weekends ago and they say my drunk ass fell on you just wanted to apologize that was all on me and not cool at all and next time you see me definitely punch me in the face cuz i deserve it sorry again”
You type out three separate messages to Sy before ultimately deleting each one. Instead, you just go to bed that night with a slight smile on your face for once.
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I really relate to what you said about learning to control EPs and being more stable but also more emotionally cut off from parts of yourself. What helps you get back in touch w/ yourself / find a balance between being stable but also welcoming all parts of yourself (including ones who might be struggling)? What helps you give up control? I'm asking because i've pretty much perfected being in control and acting "healthily" on a behavioural/ surface level and now I can't let go even when I (1)
(2) need to. I've discussed this with my t who is open to parts but I can't let go even though I want to and when parts do slip out she never seems to notice that it's not me and they can't tell her. I know you can't fix this for me, I was just hoping hearing from someone else about how they approach this might be helpful. Hope you have good day and take care!
I honestly wish I could give you some tips based on what works for me/us, but honestly this is a thing I still really have to work on! It’s extremely hard for me to let go, even when other parts are active I still censor them / hold them back most of the time, I think.
In therapy, my therapist helps a lot by discussing with me what is going to happen - for example, she promised me that at the end of a session she will always take some time for me to get back. She also explained “I can talk to another part for, say, half an hour, and then we have at least 10 minutes at the end”.
For me I think it also has a lot to do with safety and trust. Do I trust my therapist that she will still be there if I dare show her those parts of me? Can she handle it? And because I have only started seeing this therapist in september, we still have a lot of trust to work on, so I guess it just takes time.
Things I try to invite other parts, is try to have some things they like around - I always have a small plushie in my bag that I know at least 2 young parts are attached to, yesterday I bought cookies that I know Pip likes, and yesterday after therapy I listened to music that I know britney likes a lot.
I also try ‘talking inside’, even if it feels like no one is listening. I try telling the other parts “I’m sorry for being so controlling, I’m trying to find ways to change that and I hope you can give me the time to do so”, I tell them that I appreciate them being there (even if I don’t always feel that way) and that I am working to find ways to help all of them as well as myself. The easiest (or... less extremely difficult) time for me to try and ‘talk inside’ is when I’m in bed, right before sleeping. I’m trying to get into the habit of taking a couple minutes at night to prepare everyone for the next day. This feels a bit embarrassing, but I’ve noticed that it works better if I talk out loud to myself... So I try and just talk to myself and talk about what the plans are for the next day, and then at the end I ask all parts if they have something to say (I rarely if ever get a reply, but I just keep asking) and then I ask them to go to sleep so we will be rested (no clue if this works but hey, I’m just gonna persistently keep trying :’)).
Basically, I’m just trying random things even if I have no clue if it works. I also want to try this unblending technique at some point [link to post], but for now I think I’m still a bit too scared (aka “phobia of the inner experience”, lol). I’m trying to also feel compassion for myself; it’s okay if I don’t manage those things yet.
From what it sounds like you’re working very hard and with your therapist as well, and honestly I think that’s the best you can do right now! Try and take some time each day (or every other day, or whatever is manageable for you right now) and talk inside / invite other parts, even if it feels like it doesn’t work. Keep trying, you’re doing a great job!
Take care :)
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Dark secret love
Pairing: Sascha Orosco x MC (Suna)
Word count: 4729/6941 words. (Part a)
Rating: T / PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters and the lore depicted belong to Voltage Inc. Aspec MC is mine.
Warnings: related to death (cemetery), romantic content, innuendos.
A/N: This fiction is a what if. What if WLL MC was on the aro/ace spectrum and paired with Sascha? The idea came to me when Fiona's route premiered and wouldn't go away. So I had to write it. I tend to write a lot, so I'm posting it in two parts because it's too long for Tumblr. It will be the pretext to take a break during the reading. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. @arowrimo
Any like, comment and reblog is deeply appreciated.
A/N 2: For anyone interested in reading this fiction but who hasn't read Wicked Lawless Love on the Lovestruck app, WLL tells about a group of supernaturals, the Warden, who protects a small town located in the Far West from other supernaturals. The incubus Sascha works as an undertaker at the cemetery.
How both of them came to this moment was still disconcerting, to say the least. Particularly when the way they met had not started very smoothly. And in a place that used to creep Suna out, whether it was during day time or night time, on the top of that!
However, Sascha had quickly become very supportive of her, who had been struggling to accept who she really was. A witch. All her life, she had thought that she had been plagued by misfortune. It had impacted on her relationships with her family, as if something had been wrong with her. It had simply been her powers that she hadn't been handling because she had never been aware of them to begin with.
Her meeting with Sascha in the cemetery could have ended badly for Suna. She hadn't been looking for a fight that fateful night and certainly not for stealing anything, for once. It had been out of character for her, as she had been in and out of jail for having stolen so much to survive that she had lost track of the exact number.
Through him, she had met Fiona, a talented, clever and resourceful mystic and had become close to her pretty easily. The rest of the Ward had been oscillating at first between wariness and distrust, especially from the regional captain, a good-looking old demon with a stern red gaze. With Sascha, it had taken time because of a part of their personalities that had been in total opposition.
Upon meeting Suna under unpleasant circumstances at Emberlost, Sascha had been very intrigued by this little witchling who didn't have her tongue in her pocket and had been oblivious about herself. He had found her very attractive and had certainly been enjoying her wits and her fiery personality, as they were common points. He had quickly noted how she had seemed not to understand some of his obvious double-entendres.
That had prompted him to wonder if she had been perhaps aware about the subject, as she had kept laughing several seconds after the rest of the Ward. To him, she had represented a curiosity for a long time, like someone coming from the future and it had been like walking close to Heaven. Not really knowing what to say, not really knowing how to behave. He had kept his good-manners but he had had to pay more attention on them, as Suna had been sometimes reacting differently than other people.
There had been that painful moment where Fiona had encouraged them to act friendly toward each other too soon. The lively mystic had almost instantly declared Suna as her "new favourite person" and Sascha had been a bit upset about it at first because she had been spending less time with him. That had been until he had made a comment about it. So Fiona had started to come back more and bringing Suna with her to help her with her magic.
One day, Fiona had hugged Suna like she had been doing often. After that, she had looked at him, then at her and had had lightly laughed that it would have been okay for them to hug. So he had waited for Suna to move first, because he hadn't wanted to push her. After a moment, she had moved and hesitantly embraced him. It had been awkward for several days, Suna staying polite toward him but talking more to Fiona. Could it have been because of his nature? Because she had no issue being around other men. Fiona had told him once that she had nothing against him, he just had to be patient. Unfortunately, it had never been one of his strengths.
However, he had always been considerate, so that had been making up for it and decided him to maintain a physical distance. That had been difficult as it had been his primary love language but it had been necessary. Sometimes, he had caught himself extending a hand to put it on her shoulder as a comfort. Thankfully, he had stopped himself each time. It had proved to be the right choice as slowly she had started answering his light teasing and that had made him feel better.
Once she had passed her tests to become a Warden, she hadn't much reasons to come to Emberlost outside the job and the realisation had been very annoying. It had been pleasant to have her around, even with her somewhat rude familiar Enzo.
And one night, he had heard someone knocking twice on his door. It hadn't really been a convenient timing, as he had been in the middle of a sensitive operation with a corpse but it could have been important and certainly not Fiona, who had always rushed in.
"The door is open.", he had answered. He had been stunned when Suna had appeared in the doorway. It really had been the last person he would have thought to pay him a visit at this unholy hour, particularly when he had known she hadn't been exactly fond of cemeteries. He hadn't taken it personally but had considered it as an obstacle to see her much more here.
"Why, hello, Suna! Fancy seeing you here! To what do I owe the honour of your presence in this restless abode?"
He had kept a cheerful tone that had been contrasting with what he had been doing. It also had been a way of masking his surprise.
"To Madame Insomnia. Long time no see here, Sascha.", she had answered while shutting the door behind herself.
"So you can't sleep and... you decide to come all the way here to see me? Not that I'm complaining but..."
"I know, it's strange, maybe suspicious. It's the plain truth, though. I can't sleep and just felt like coming to talk. Enzo has decided to stay in my room."
The little demon had grunted that no one could have forced him to put up with "Emberlost's fancy pants". Sascha had pretended being disappointed. His face had fallen and he had sighed, while looking at the floor long enough to be a little credible.
"Oh, 'to talk'... yes, we can also do this."
He had stared at her with his shiny red eyes and a playful smile.
"Sascha, I think I'm going to see myself out."
Suna had smiled as well, secretly enjoying her banters but refusing to letting him know about it.
"My apologies! I am a very good listener. It actually is one of my favourite pastimes."
His smile had grown wider, indicating her clearly what she had to understand. Suna had rolled her eyes but had kept her smile.
"This kind of listening is not my pastime, personally."
She had then noted how busy he had been and the conversation had rolled for several hours, helping him to see two other corpses through. Few days later, he had heard again two knocks on the door, right when he had been finishing his work on a corpse. It had been Suna with the same excuse. And she had kept coming, night after night.
"You still can't sleep? Even after yesterday?", he had asked one night.
"Well, yes and I guess the cemetery is creeping me out less than it used to."
Sascha had concealed a smile but his eyes had betrayed him.
"Fine! It seems like I like hanging out with you."
He had laughed lightly before shaking his head a little.
"Now, now, Suna, you are not 'hanging out' with me."
"Not according to you definition but according to mine, this is what we are doing."
"So talking is hanging out with you?"
The innocent tone of voice he had used had been only to annoy her. She really had no idea how funny she could be once irritated. But that hadn't worked that time.
"It's like when we are going for a drink at Ada's. Except that we are just together in this strange place."
"And it is always like this? With everybody?", Sascha had asked politely, his teasing tone gone.
"Always.", she had answered peacefully.
"I am so hurt, Suna. I really thought I was different.", he had joked again.
"You are, Sascha. After all, I come to see you when I can't sleep."
"So I am a sleeping pill? My poor heart will not survive this avalanche of compliments."
"You mean your ego."
"My heart, especially. I like you and I really thought you did too."
Sascha's face hadn't displayed any mischievous smile, so Suna has been thrown off for few seconds. The incubus couldn't have been serious... right?
"I like you, Sascha. I just don't think that, again, our definitions for this word are matching."
He had been close to her but still respectful of her private space. Suna had noted how he had behaved after the embarrassing moment initiated by Fiona. It hadn't been against him. She just didn't like being physically close to people she didn't know well. It had been too soon. And she had sighed when she had seen him wanting to comfort her but not doing it. So she had taken his wrist in her hand and put his arm around her neck.
"Suna...? What are you -?
The astonishment that had been painted all over his face had amused her, before she had thrown a good-natured smile at him.
"I know what you've done since that weird moment."
Sascha had fidgeted with the hem of his vest and had sighed heavily.
"Really, I appreciate it. It hadn't been easy for you, since you easily touch."
He had only cleared his throat, showing some nervousness but letting her speak.
"By now, it's okay.", she had affirmed.
He had rose his eyebrows and had looked at her like she suddenly had grown a pair of white wings behind her back.
"Come on, after all the time we've been spending with each other, it's okay to do this."
"You meant to say that after all this time you have been visiting me late at night, all by yourself... it is okay for me to touch you?"
His smile had been eloquent and Suna couldn't have managed to repress a laugh.
"Oh you -! Can't you be serious for once?"
"I can be very serious. That time in the desert..."
"I remember that we were supposed to be stealthy to catch smugglers but I had had a very hard time to bite down my laugh and you had angered Enzo."
"I seem to do this solely by being near you, anyway.", he had remarked.
"He's protective of his Mistress, what can I say?"
"Is it why he is not coming with you?"
"Partly. I also told him that I could get your help, if needed. He wasn't very happy but he came around when he kept seeing me coming back in one piece."
"Trusting me now, are you?", Sascha had joked.
"Who said I was? I am a powerful witch, after all. I can fend for myself.", she had played along.
"No denial but like I said, you seem to 'hang out' a lot here lately.", he had said to come back to the initial subject.
Confused, Suna had stared at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. As Sascha had kept looking at her, she had realised, finally, what he had been implying.
"Saints alive, Sascha!"
"Ah, there is no need to be so rude, little witchling!"
Suna had rolled her eyes, as she had understood what expression had been impolite.
"Hell's bells, Sascha! Yes, you are an incubus! And, aside this, who are you? Come on, tell me who you are without using 'incubus', 'demon' and 'supernatural'!"
The silence had stretched like the sun outside on the horizon. His red eyes, colour of the sky, had been big and round because of the shock. No one had ever told him that he had been more than his nature.
"Sascha? Are you okay?"
Suna's hand had tentatively come closer and had briefly touched his fore arm that had been then wrapped around his waist. Two seconds had been enough to shake him out of his shock. The third second, he had his look casted down, while he had been fidgeting with his sleeves. His long hair had been hiding his handsome face.
"Sascha... Are you hurt?", she had asked, while gently tugging at his arm.
That had been when he had looked up and replied with an unexpected soft voice:
"No one ever has told me that I was more than this."
"Aw... Well, you are more than this."
And with her free hand, she had squeezed his shoulder before dropping it.
This had been a fond memory for Sascha. Many first times had happened that night. First real physical contact that they both had accepted. A compliment completely unheard before. First signs of a growing emotional closeness. Suna had enjoyed that night especially for the last reason. She had liked to see some real vulnerability from Sascha, not only nervousness. Since then, she had decided to look for his company more than before, her curiosity having been piqued.
Several days after, he had been sent on a mission to retrieve an important artefact for the Ward and had been away for a couple weeks. Suna had kept herself busy with her own duties but she had felt something missing at night: her long conversations with the sassy Sascha. Enzo had been particularly devoted, trying to cheer her up, sensing that she hadn't been very upbeat since the annoying tall demon had left. He had made sure to tone down his sarcasm and to distract her as much as possible. Fiona had been difficult to fool as a mystic and Suna's attempt to do so had been a massive fail. Obviously.
"He will be back when you will expect it the least. Let's do something to make you feel better in the meantime!"
And she had hugged her tightly enough to strangely relieved her. Partially. It had been obvious to her friends because they had been sensitive but she could have gone undetected with other people.
And one day, Suna had heard a knock on her door when she had been starting to dress up, right after getting out of her bed. Enzo had grumpily commented how his Mistress couldn't have a moment for herself, before she had told him that it had been alright and had allowed the person to come in.
Before Sascha had had the time to greet them, Enzo had complained, as always when they had been together in the same area.
"Oh, so you're finally back! My Mistress has been feeling distressed since you've left, selfish demon!"
"Enzo! I wasn't feeling distressed and he was on a mission."
"On a mission, heh! I can't be here any longer!"
And he had zipped out of the room, while glaring at Sascha, who had been smiling mockingly at him.
"Morning, Suna. It seems like your little familiar dislikes me even more."
She had greeted him back while standing up.
"I haven't felt as usual, so Enzo has been worried. I'm sorry he took it out on you. How went the mission?"
Sascha had frowned before answering.
"It has been a success. The artefact has been retrieved and handed to Kellan. What happened? Were you feeling unwell?"
Suddenly embarrassed, Suna had looked at the floor. Could it have been possible to tell him? It had been simple to tell it to herself but voicing it hadn't been easy. She had looked into his eyes, though, and had said:
"Well... You see, I was just missing our conversations. This is silly but I wasn't distressed like Enzo said!"
"Aw, the great little witchling was missing me!", he had joked fondly.
Suna had squinted, clearly unhappy, before he had lightly squeezed her shoulder with a big smile.
"Actually, I have been missing our conversations too."
She had then gestured for him to sit in one of the armchairs next to the window and they had talked like two weeks hadn't went by since their last discussion. Until Fiona had interrupted them by barging into the room to tell Sascha that he had been requested at the HQ.
"If you will excuse me, Suna, the work is never over. What can they do without me?", he had playfully sighed, before putting his hat back on his head and tipping it to her and Fiona.
Not even a second after he had left, the mystic had inundated her with a torrent of questions, her eyes shining mischievously.
"Fi, this is only friendship. We are spending time talking and enjoying it, is all."
"So you say, Suna, so you say."
She had tapped her third eye and Suna had started getting flustered. So she had put her arm in Fiona's and had dragged her to Ada's for a drink between girls. Could it have been real? Sascha and her?
What had troubled her had been that Fiona had always been right but that couldn't have been the case this time. Sure, Sascha had been jesting quite often about it but that had been it: jests. Besides, it had been an important part of his personality. Nothing to take much seriously. Still, she had then avoided to come back to Emberlost, although she had really wanted to. She hadn't been able to forget her talk with Fiona.
It had been four days since and she had been tossing and turning until Enzo had said:
"Mistress, what is it? Why aren't you visiting that arrogant incubus? Did he do something to you? If so, I'm gonna show him -!"
"No, Enzo. He hasn't done anything to me. I just need to get some sleep, instead of talking all night long."
Enzo's big bright eyes had dimmed, sensing all too well that there had been something more.
"But you like spending time with him?"
The tone had been a bit disgusted and it hadn't been a real question.
"I do, he is a good friend.", Suna had laconically answered.
"So where is the problem? I don't get it!"
Enzo had been getting impatient because he had wanted to help his Mistress, to comfort her but hadn't been able to understand what had been the issue in the first place.
Suna had turned on her right side to face the wall and had murmured:
"Fiona implied that there would be more than friendship between Sascha and I. And I don't know what to think of it because to me, he's only a friend."
"You and that... Ew. She wasn't serious!"
"She was, Enzo."
And she had fell asleep, the little demon curled up against her legs.
The next day, Suna had been resolved to go and see Sascha, having decided to file for later what she had been feeling since having seen Fiona. He hadn't done anything wrong, after all. And once she had been out of the boarding house, the sun had caressed her fair skin and had made her feel better. Not even after four hundred meters later, her light green eyes had met playful red eyes and she had felt a pinch in her diaphragm.
"Why, hello, Suna! Long time no see!"
He had been smiling, not looking fazed at all by the distance she had put between them.
"Hello, Sascha. It's been a while, yes. I just needed... to rest."
She had immediately berated herself for giving him such a lame excuse that he hadn't deserved.
"Hmm. Does that mean that my company is making you feel restless?"
His tone hadn't betrayed anything but she had been well aware that he had been able to read her. Most likely, he had been too polite to point it out. Some heat had started to colour her cheeks.
"No, it's just talking all night long..."
She had stopped herself because they hadn't done it for quite a while now.
"Come on, Suna, not to me. It's alright, keep your reasons to yourself. Are you coming for a drink?"
At that moment, Enzo had wriggled out of her coat and had grumbled:
"Yeesh, you two are disgusting! I ain't staying any longer!"
"And what was 'disgusting'?", Sascha had asked.
"Look at him, Mistress, getting all syrupy to stick better!"
"Nobody is chasing you away, Enzo."
"Bleh, no thank you. You can stick together!"
The little familiar had gone increasingly antsy whenever Sascha had been around Suna. His protective instincts had been kicking extremely high but then again, two sassy demons in the same place... it had been bound to happen.
Once inside the saloon, they had joined Nathan and Cecelia, already there and deep into a poker game. The cowboy had been winning and they had decided to play another game, this time with Suna and Sascha, who had been entertaining the game with Nathan and their bickering, as usual. Too busy, they hadn't noticed that Suna had been actually winning. Spreading her hand on the table, she had stared at Sascha.
"Four of a kind ace."
His expression had lit up.
"Why, well done! King-high flush in hearts. Red hearts because of the passion, Suna.", he had smiled while maintaining his gaze in hers.
"Aces are the best cards, Sascha. And my favourites, especially the diamond one. And it's red... like love. All kind of love. Passionate... or not."
"We could make a deal, little witchling."
"Sascha, I'm already dealing with you.", she had teased him.
Not even offended, the demon had laughed with Cecelia and Nathan and had made a sign with his hand like a bow. At that moment, Fiona had arrived and had asked Nathan to deal her in.
After they had gone to Ada's, Sascha had had the feeling that Suna had opened up again. That had been confirmed to him when she had come the next day. That night, they had exchanged their points of view on passion, so dear to him. She had kept saying that it hadn't been so important to her.
"And what about these readings of yours? These saucy penny dreadfuls?"
"It's not incompatible. Reading them doesn't mean much. It's quite enjoyable, somehow."
"Reading about passion and experiencing it are two different things."
"Sure but it's still not the most important to me."
"Then what is it?", he had asked, willing to understand.
"Finding my best friend. My ride-or-die. I want to share everything with my best friend."
"It's not impossible but I don't decide that I won't share it with someone until I get to know this person better. Being my best friend is a requirement. Then, passion can bloom... or not. I don't decide and this can be a real problem."
Sascha had stared at her with round eyes but had certainly not judged her. He had been trying his best to understand her way of seeing relationships. Definitely the opposite of his but very interesting nonetheless.
After their friendly discussion, she hadn't come back, so he had chosen to let her be, even though his nights had been quieter. Not very lonely because of the corpses but lonely all the same because they were obviously too cold to talk.
Until the fifth night, when he had heard the two familiar knocks on the door he had been longing for. Suna had come in right away and greeted him before launching herself into a monologue. A monologue he had patiently listened with a smile on his face, while observing her pacing to and fro. It had been the best way to read her lately. Before, he didn't have to pry much as Suna's aura had always been bright. Recently, it had been very dimmed, kind of blurry and that had confused him even more. Suddenly getting self-conscious, she had stopped.
"I didn't mean to disturb you with such idiocies."
"You needed an ear. Fortunately, I have two. Or..."
He had come closer, his eyes sparkling mischief.
"... it was a pretext to see me."
"As if I needed one!", she had scoffed.
"There, no denial from you. You really came to see me."
His eyes had been shining and his grin had turned into a wide smile.
"I have been missing you too, little witchling."
"Always the jester, are you?"
Suna hadn't been able to repress a smile. She had been missing their banters and just being around him. Admitting it to him at that time would have been too much and too soon for her.
"I am not jesting, Suna. I can tell you have. You are here, aren't you?"
And it had been how he had the confirmation that something had been different. It hadn't been the first time he had done this and her reaction that night had proved him that she had been trying to hide something.
""Sascha, stop reading my aura" or "Sascha, I haven't been missing you"? Choose carefully, honey."
He had feigned an innocent smile that had been looking on him as well as glasses on a horse's muzzle.
"Of course, I came to see you and not the twin you don't have! What are you trying to make me say?"
"Why me and not Fiona? Why is it me you come to see when you can't sleep - and it is quite often - and not Fiona? You are her favourite person. Who is yours?", he has asked quietly. "And don't think I have not noticed how you conveniently dodged my questions."
Suna had felt cornered and this had exactly been what she had hated all her life. Every time, it had pushed her to flee, to leave everything behind. Like she had when she had arrived to the West and had ended up in Wisp Willow. But before she had been able to gather her wits, Enzo had stormed in and had yelled at Sascha.
"What are you doing to my Suna?! She's in such a state of distress that it woke me up!"
He had been seething and had then rounded up to her.
"I told you, Mistress, that the sex demon was bad news! His charming gloss has finally lost its shine!"
Sascha's expression had lost its spark. Gone the smile, gone the mischief. Suna had right away jumped to his defence.
"Don't call him that!"
"And you're protecting him, now? When he's making you feel like this?!"
Enzo's eyes had been wider and shinier than usual. Still, he had been fuming and hadn't been ready to let go.
"We're just having a conversation that isn't easy, is all. No need to worry so much, Enzo."
She had petted him on the head long enough to calm him down. That hadn't made him forget about Sascha, though.
"My Mistress told me she was feeling safe, so I needn't have to come along!"
"If you are quite finished now, little demon. Suna told you that we were talking. It is rude to interrupt like you did."
Suna had hugged Enzo to reassure him but also in an attempt to pull herself together.
"It's okay. You can come back to the room. I'll see you later."
One more gentle scratch on the head and she had been alone again with Sascha. They both had looked at each other for several minutes that had felt like several hours to her. Sascha's gaze had been his usual, perceptive and non-judgemental. Until she had sighed.
"I don't know. I just like coming here, it's still a bit creepy but peaceful. Peaceful is good for a lawless like me."
"You are a Warden, now.", Sascha had quietly corrected.
"For the lawless I was. And I like your company. I already admitted it."
"You like Fiona's too and yet, you are not spending most of your nights talking to her."
That had been too much for Suna. She had sighed once more and had grabbed his arm, letting her hand going down to his wrist. She had squeezed it, while she had looked at him apologetically.
"Not right now, Sascha."
And her hand had let go of his wrist. She had headed back to the door and before going out, she had looked at him again.
"I'll see you... soon."
She hadn't been angry, only puzzled because she couldn't understand why he had been wanting so much to know her answer to his question. She hadn't had any idea herself, actually.
Second part here.
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Hi! I'm not sure if u still have slots for CP but if so could I have one? my top 3 from hq are bokuto, iwaizumi + miya atsumu! im 5'5, she/her w long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin. I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally flirty + my love language is physical touch! I love working out and I'm a huge foodie. I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + pda. I ramble but I'm a gd listener, a night owl, v playful + luv teasing 1/2
im spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious! I'm empathetic + love comforting others! I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I'm also straight forward and try my best to be upfront about my feelings. I love autumn/winter, cooking + outdoors but also love cosy nights at home! I also really like protective people! Thank u sm in advance if theres still space <3 2/2
Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...
...long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white.
All of them would find that super cool, like the unique style of it, their reactions would just vary.
Iwa would be wide eyed and go ‘wow’. He’d definitely stare, but in a good way because he’s 100% admiring the way you look with this style. There’s just no hiding that admiring look on his face, he can’t even if he tries tbh. He just thinks it’s so mf cool. Would subtly bask in the praises you get bc ‘hell yeah she’s fucking cool, that’s my girlfriend >:)’. Would compliment you for sure, simple and to the point, and you just know he means every word because his personality is like that.
Atsumu & Bo would be louder and more verbal & show-off-y. Lots of like ‘omfg this style is so cool?!?!?’. Would even go as far as saying ‘we matchBIXKJSANJC’ (especially Bo since the dyed colour is the same), since they have dyed hair themselves, and would also 100000% take pics and show them off to Osamu & Akaashi and their MSBY teammates and even post about u on their accounts bc they’re just so excited uwu
It’s also a given that they would change their wallpaper to u with this hairstyle ASAP uwu
I also really like protective people!
All of them are pretty protective in their own rights, I feel? The difference would be how they deal with the thing or person making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
I feel like Iwa would have no qualms being a sort of shield between you and that problem. If someone’s bothering you, he would step in between u and the person/people and bring you away from them AFTER (respectfully) glaring at them and telling them they’re making things uncomfortable for everyone. He’s quite observant too, having dealt with Oikawa’s personality and habits for a lot of his life, so he would be able to tell when you need his protection and when you can handle yourself. Tbh even when you can handle yourself, he’ll already be inching towards you, wanting to be by your side just in case it turns ugly. And if it ever turns ugly (which is fucked up because why tf would anyone wanna fight Iwa when he’s packing all those muscles??), ya know he won’t be fucking around. He may be a respectful man, but that doesn’t mean he won’t twist the person’s arm with a little more force than necessary if they tried to do shit to u. After the mf’s taken care of, he’ll take you some place quiet and make sure you’re alright, feeling safe and comforted by treating you softer than usual. Will also bring you your favourite snacks to help you ease your nerves and end the night on a better note. Overall, 10/10 boyfriend because your comfort and safety means a lot to him uwu <3
Atsumu would probably veeeery publically embarrass them by calling them out, and you know his words cut deeeeeep. He’ll be keeping a hand on you throughout the day/night, that’s for sure, until you’re home again. Just that touch of his to make sure you’re by his side and doing alright.
Bo would probably get angry (whether in a cute pouty way or in an intense anger would depend on the situation), unintentionally call them out (which would be hella embarrassing for the other person bc god they made BOKUTO angry??), and then he would just start trying to make sure you’re okay. He’d start being really touchy like cupping your face, hugging you from all angles, & etc. He’ll bring you home asap if the situation calls for it or if you ask him to or if the person isn’t gone from the space, but would probably stay if you tell him it’s alright and you’re okay now.
I think the both of them are protective in their own rights, but something about Iwa being really perceptive and having that strength and reliability to his personality that would probably make you feel the safest (based on yours and his traits).
I love working out and I'm a huge foodie.
IWAIZUMI HAJIME, (27), ATHLETIC TRAINER. CHAMPION OF ARM WRESTLING, AND EVERY SPORT IMAGINABLE.
I don’t think I need to say more, it’s all right thereKSKSKSK
He’ll work out with you and become those perfect work out couple goals. 1000000000000000000% for sure. And he’s an athletic trainer, so he knows how to help you maximize your work out.
I can also see him eating a lot with you on your food trips. Sure, his diet is pretty balanced, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to eat, and especially on cheat days he’ll happily indulge in the more ‘unhealthy’ foods with you.
I also don’t think he’ll be trying to control your diet, but maybe tell you stuff like ‘eat more veges/protein/etc.’ if you don’t eat properly. He cares for you and your health is important to him too. But if your diet is pretty good and balanced as is, then he’ll be a little more relaxed knowing you’re not surviving on only junk foods and sodas lol
I ramble but I'm a gd listener, a night owl, v playful + luv teasing.
GREAT because I can see Iwa appreciating very much that you’d listen to him talk on about his rough day, gush the monsters he finds super fucking cool (like Godzilla), rants about Oikawa being a shit head (again), and so on.
I can see him being a great listener too, always nodding along and taking in what you ramble to him. Giving comments and insights too if he can. And if he doesn’t have the capacity or energy for that (most probably bc work was draining or he isn’t having a good day), he’d tell you straight up (if you didn’t catch the physical clues he displays). Politely and to the point, without malice.
Oikawa is teasing and playful with him, so he’s practically built to handle it like a pro since childhoodKSKSKSK
But he won’t resort to violence with you ofc, just with Oikawa <3 depending on the nature of your teasing, he’d either roll his eyes and maybe bump your shoulder lightly (or some other light form of contact), or he’ll try to tease you back. I can also see him blushing and asking you to shut it if your teasing grants that kind of reaction if yk what I meanKSKSKS
The night owl bit, he understands, but would tell you sometimes to not mess up your schedule and to sleep earlier if you can because that’s just how he shows that he cares. If you point out that he sounds like a nagging mom, he’d pop a vein and tackle you (softly) and drag you to bed and be a little kid about it like ‘HA what can u do now that u can’t escape my arms?? Who’s a nagging mom now??’. Y’all would 100% end up in giggles UWUWUWUWUWU
I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + pda.
I can see Atsumu & Bo loving and basking in the PDA more than Iwa, because that shit makes him flustered so hard and he has to take a while to get used to having someone show him such bold displays of love. But I feel like Iwa would really grow to like it tho uwu
All 3 of them are kind of stubborn in their own way? If y’all disagree on something, I can see Bo & Iwa coming to a compromise with you easier than Atsumu.
Iwa would make you a cup of coffee just the way you like it every day when you wake up because it’s his actions with the littlest things that show you the loudest how much he loves you. He’s also great with holding you back on your more dangerous and rash and potentially harmful impulses, like the reliable figure that gives you good reasons and talks you out of reeeeaaally bad decisions, but he’s also a whole Gemini so he’ll indulge in your impulses with you more often than you think heh heh
I'm also straight forward and try my best to be upfront about my feelings.
That’s a great trait for all of the boys tbh, because all 3 of them needs someone like that due to their personalities.
Atsumu would understand that you’re not playing mind games and he wouldn’t then try to play it back or burst into flames. Bo would be thankful because he can just take your words as is. And that’s the same for Iwa too. While he’s observant and can probably read between the lines no problem, straight forwardness just makes things easier for him because he’s pretty straight forward too. And I feel that if he can count on you for that, then he’ll be probably allow himself to rely on you more.
If you praise them, they’ll know you mean it too and they’ll be real happy about it uwu
I'm empathetic + love comforting others!
Another great attribute for all 3 of them. Bo & Atsumu melts in a more obvious way (and in the moment) when you comfort them and when you empathize with them, but Iwa? It’s in the way he squeezes your hand right after, the look in his eyes are soft and so is his grateful smile. It’s in the way he hugs you later in bed, curving into you like a cat, arms secure around you, and he whispers a very tender ‘thank you’. It’s in the way he kisses you good morning the day after, hand on your cheek as if he’s holding the world in it, and he feels like he is. I’d say it’s more quiet with Iwa’s display of gratitude, but it’s just as loud as the other two, there’s no doubt about that.
I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally flirty + my love language is physical touch! I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I’m spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious!
Your outgoing and naturally flirty self would probably capture all 3 of their hearts, with Iwa putting up a little more fight than the rest (he doesn’t take it as him being special, but falls for your sweet words regardless bc he likes u so much).
Bo & Atsumu would satisfy your love language more, both looking like they’re very comfortable in showing you they love you in that way. Iwa might be a more muted than the 2, but if y’all are dating, he’d always have a hand on you somehow. Whether its holding your hand, a hand on your back, on your cheek, & etc. Like he just finds a way to always have contact with you, especially when he finds out your love language if physical touch. He’ll put in the effort, that’s for sure.
Atsumu might not do as well with your emotional trait? He doesn’t mince his words, and even if he tries to be softer with you, it’s not 100% that he’ll change that part of himself. He’ll try to comfort you, apologize and sooth your wounds if he hurts you bad, but it’s how he is with his words – blunt and (mainly) unfiltered. Iwa isn’t blunt, I’d say? He knows what to say and when to say it and how to say it, and he’s also caring, so I feel like he’d do very well with this trait of yours.
Being energetic meshes pretty well with Bo bc he’s pretty energetic himself. Iwa himself has a lot of energy, so he would most definitely keep up with your energy no problem.
Every other trait I can see doing well with Iwa. He’d admire it, and some would even push him further too by feeding off your traits too.
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hey there, stranger. vi
one, two, three, four, five
an: two months after you first met mat, you’re back in the same little coffee shop, in much heavier moods than last time. // So after last chapter, i'm sure you're all upset about what's happening to our favorite cute new couple. What began as a cutesly fluffy fic is turning into something a lot more serious and tough. Because all relationships come with hardships, and working through them together is something they're gonna have to do. Another thing, please comment and send asks about this story!! Even though this isn't the biggest fic I've planned so far, I'm putting all my love into these characters and their situations hit close to home, and I'd really appreciate some feedback.
warnings: mentions of domestic problems and violence (mostly verbal and mental), relationship doubts, talks of fear and self-worth
tagging some lovely people: @sunflowertimothee @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy
word count: 2.3k
You hadn't always been afraid of love.
But maybe you had, for as long as you could remember.
It began with your parents. They were unhappy, they argued, they fought, they pulled others into their arguments and eventually drew so far from each other that they were distant and cold to even their children. They seperated, violently and in the dead of the night, in the middle of your school year, and threw your life into a rollercoaster. It scared you. Made you feel, even as a young kid, that love just wasn't something that happened. Relationships didn't exist, love didn't exist without violence and arguments and fights. A perfect love was just not what you believed in. And even though it's true that every couple has their arguments, you believed that the fights were common. The yelling, the jealousy, the coldness, the raised voices, the fear.
The last time you truly, honestly were in a relationship, it was your highschool sweetheart. If he could be called that. You were 17 when you got together, you got in trouble together, turned 18 together, and graduated highschool together. He started out amazing, as amazing as teenage boys could get, but somewhere along the way he changed. But looking back now, you could never truly call him your sweetheart, even at his sweetest.
While you were studying endlessly to graduate high school with honors and applying to all the colleges and scholarships you could, your boyfriend was out partying and drawing further and further away, turning cold and careless. And though you hadn’t found out until afterwards, your boyfriend had spent the last six months of your relationship sleeping around with countless other girls behind your back. You didn’t find out until a sweet girl came forward and told you what he’d done, and that she was sorry and didn’t know he was taken.
“He’s not, not anymore.”
You found more proof. He didn’t even try to hide it, but you were too busy with school to notice all his tagged posts on Instagram, all the pictures of him openly kissing other girls while you foolishly had his name and a heart in your bio. You felt humiliated. When you finally confronted him, he laughed. As if he didn’t care that you found out. As if he was proud. “Maybe,” he looked at you with absolute lack of care in his eyes, “Maybe if you weren’t so fucking prude and put out a little more, I’d still care about you!”
The only thing you did right in that relationship was to break it off right there. You’d think, after saying he didn’t care about you, he’d leave. But even after you walked out that door for the last time, his number was one that constantly popped up on your phone. “Wow, running away like always, huh? Fucking bitch.” “No wonder no one wants you” “Always such a clingy bitch but never wanted to fuck. Maybe if you would’ve slept with me I wouldn’t have to find other girls to satisfy me.” “You did this to yourself.” He’d send you pictures of himself with the other girls, taunting, saying “This is what you’re missing out on.” He’d flaunted the fact that he cheated on you, as if wanting to humiliate you. As if it’s what you deserved.
And, for a long time after it ended, you believed him.
Did you think Mat was like that? Deep down, no. But something made you fearful to open up to any man ever again after what happened. You’d truly loved someone, as blind as you were, and it all blew up in your face, and now, you were convinced love only ended with a broken heart.
Mat sat across from you now, in this familiar little coffee shop, his eyes heavy and his brows furrowed in worry, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he watched you. His hair was the same as when you woke up tangled together this morning, dark and unruly after his morning skate, and he sat with his big hands resting on the table, just inches from your own, playing with his fingers- a nervous habit that you realized as of late and loved. Watching him scratch his wrists and crack his knuckles and fumble with his fingers was a strange sort of calming, and made you want to hold his hands in yours and kiss each joint and feel his skin against yours in that wholesome, comforting way. But he didn't reach out. He thought he did something wrong. He thought he ruined your relationship. He thought it was his fault.
“That's not how I imagined our first morning together would go.” He gave a sad smile, always one to try and lighten the mood, while his mind drifted to the daydreams he had had of waking up surrounded by your warmth and your arms and getting to kiss and snuggle into you before practice. He had always dreamed of that. The softness, the domesticity, it's what he craved. But before you could find the words to make it right, his voice dropped and shook. "So, our first 'talk', huh? What did I do?"
You couldn't find the words, and you just dropped your gaze to the table. His sad eyes made you feel so bad. "I'm so sorry, Mat."
"Why'd you run off?" The fear in his voice was enough to make your throat squeeze tight. He shouldn't feel this way. You really didn't deserve him.
"I just…" your mind raced to find an explanation for yourself. "I freaked out."
"About what? Help me understand. So we can fix it. Let me fix it, please." You looked up again, thinking you owed him at least your attention. His hazel eyes were glossy and as beautiful as always, searching yours for an answer, any answer, and you wanted nothing more than to tell him how amazing he was, to tell him this wasn't his fault. Someone as amazing as him should never feel pain. But you knew you had to open up to him.
"Listen." You reached your hands out on the table, centimeters from his own, and stopped just short of his fingertips, focusing your eyes on the smooth surface of the table. "You have so much love in you." You began. "That's one of things that I asked Rebecca for, remember? A big heart." You glanced up for only a brief moment to see his lips turn up a bit. "I need someone with a big heart, and I thought I could handle it right now, but…" When you trailed off, Mat spoke up softly, carefully, hesitant to interrupt you, but desperate for an answer.
"You can't handle me? Am I too overwhelming? We can slow down, even back up if you want-."
"We don’t need to hang out as much as I’ve been trying to-”
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for interrupting you. And for being overwhelming."
There was no hint of sarcasm in his voice like there was in your exes, not judgement, no daggers, only pure care and genuine sorry. He hadn't raised his voice at you once, hadn't yelled at you for leaving a cold, empty hole next to him this morning like your ex would have. You found it refreshing to have a man speak to you so calmly, so gently, and carefully, and you realized that the last thing Mat wanted to do was mess this up.
And you felt the same.
He was quiet now, after his little outburst, waiting for you to say anything. "Maty," his eyes shot up to yours at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. You chose your words carefully, as carefully as Mat handled your emotions, as if one wrong word could shatter something amazing. "You're not overwhelming. You're amazing. It's me, it's my fault I can't handle it." There it is, Mat mused to himself, The 'it's not you, it's me'.
"No, don't say that..."
"Listen…" I've been hurt before. I'm sure you have too, but I got messed up." Mat let out an upset little huff, his eyes going even more soft and watching you gently, as if he wanted to make it all better and erase any memories of pain from your past relationships. "The only other guy I was ever seriously with… he made me feel like shit. Like I'm… unworthy of love."
"You're not." He spoke up fast, urgent, but delicate.
"I feel like I don't deserve how amazing you're being."
"Stop, (Y/N), please. Just shush." Mat shook his head, absolutely heartbroken you hear your confession. "I know what it's like to be hurt, shit, do I know. But you deserve so much better than any of your exes have given you. I know that."
Your throat was suddenly tight at his reassuring words. "He hurt me, a lot. I'm still so broken because of him. He humiliated me, made me afraid. Of men, of relationships, of love. It hurts, Mat… It hurts to try and love again when I've loved so hard and only known broken ends. It's hard for me to trust people, and it's so, so scary to jump into a relationship like this." You glanced up momentarily to meet his gaze, feeling absolutely embarrassed to be spewing all of this dramatic sob-story to him.
"You're not…? (Y/N), baby," he whispered, shaky, as if it might be the last time he called you that,, as if by tomorrow you'd be nothing more than strangers again.. "You're not… breaking up with me, are you?" Before you could respond, Mat continued one, as if he didn't want to hear the answer that he automatically assumed would be bad. "If you are, if you need some space or some time away from dating, that's alright, I'll respect that. But I think we can work this out. I'm willing to try."
For a second, you imagined going back to being single again after everything Mat had given you. You would never be able to forget him, forget what was, and what could’ve been. So you shook your head.
"No, Maty. I don't want to break up."
"Fuck, oh, thank god." He finally smiled, releasing the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding all day.
"The reason I freaked out so bad this morning, it wasn't the kiss, not really the cuddles either. I enjoyed those, even though they were a little awkward, being our first time and all…" you shared a little smile at that, at the memory of the first time you'd curled into each other and giggled and squirmed and talked, the most intimate moment of your relationship so far. "I like being with you, I just freaked because…. Well, Mat, I don't even know if you remember, 'cause you were asleep, but last night you said you love me."
It was a few long, quiet seconds, watching him process it in his mind, the look in his eyes going even more worried. His eyes widened as he sighed a nervous breath of air. "Shit, I did?" He reached up for a moment to scratch the back of his neck and his cheeks went a little red as he scrambled for his words. "I, uhh, heh." He let out an awkward, forced laugh. "I didn't mean for you to know so soon. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry about how you feel."
"Yeah, then neither do you." His fingertips grazed over the cool surface of the table and up to your warm hands, slowly, carefully, asking for permission. When you didn't flinch away or tense up, you felt his hands cup your own, and there, cradled in the palm of his hand, you felt okay. "You don't need to feel bad about panicking at that. That's a big thing I said, even I can understand that. We can back up a bit. Maybe I'm pushing too hard to force feelings. Let's just take it easy, alright? Just hang out casually a little longer before calling this a relationship. Just see where things go. That sound better?"
You shook your head, and Mat's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, wondering what else he could suggest. "No, Mat, I'm not suggesting we step back from this relationship. I still want to be with you, I promise. I still want to be your girlfriend."
His head dipped down shyly as he grinned at the table, still overjoyed at the thought of being with you. "I still want to be your boyfriend." He squeezed your hands in excitement, in content.
And you squeezed back.
You knew Mat wouldn't kiss you, not before having that conversation about your boundaries, so you lifted his big hand to your lips and pressed a little kiss against one of his knuckles. He watched, his eyes wide and a content smile on his face, and slowly brought your own hand to his lips, reciprocating the appreciation.
"Well…" he spoke gently, lips moving against your skin. " Then what do you want to do? Continue as we were? Slow it down a little?"
"Just a little. I just needed you to know what you're dealing with with me. How scared I am to try this out again."
"Baby, we've all got our histories. Trust me, I would know. We all need different things in a relationship, okay? I'm not going to judge you for them. If your heart needs to be handled carefully, I can take it."
"Can I kiss you?"
And so, he leaned across the table and cupped one of your cheeks with a big hand, his fingers still tangled with yours, and pulled you into the sweetest, gentlest kiss you'd ever felt. From the moment you brushed noses, a smile lit up your face. And in that kiss, you could feel his promise. That he'd treat you better than your exes, that he'd give you what you deserve, gently, carefully, and with your heart in mind. And you brought your hands up to trace his jaw, promising the same thing back.
"So," he smiled as he sat back down, cheeks pink from the kiss. "That last thing I want to do right now is rush this, but I uh, I got you a ticket for our next home game. Call it an early Christmas present. I was planning on introducing you to my friends afterwards, but I feel like you're not ready for that." He smiled, showing you that it was no big deal for him. He was adaptable. If you needed a change, it was easy. "It'd mean a lot to me to have you there, if you want to come?"
He still wanted you there with him even after you showed him just how broken you were. And you still wanted to be there, support him, share the passion he had for hockey. Watch him do what he loves.
You smiled, your thumb drawing gentle hearts on the back of Mat’s hand.
"There's nothing I want more."
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Sleepover after Horror Film
A/N: I just thought this might be a cute scenario LMAO...considering my experience with horror movies hahahaha. I’m REALLY jumpy so each time I watch one of these I NEED to be with someone. Also we’re close to Halloween soo...Hope you like it! Thanks for reading!
Pairings: Sugawara x f!Reader, Bokuto x f!Reader, Kuroo x f!Reader
Genre: fluff, crack?
“Are those blankets ok?” Suga opens the door of his room, both of his hands stuffed with mugs of hot chocolate as he looks at you with soft eyes when you snuggle even more on his bed.
“Thank you for letting me stay, Koushi”, he smiles at you, handling you the hot ceramic, “How are you not scared??”
“Oh, I was, but you were ten times worse so that kind of calmed me down!” his airy laugh bounces in the room, making you pout. Your nerves tense up as you look at the clock hanging on his bedroom’s wall, “Are you really planning to stay up all night?”
“If it gets to 3am and nothing happens, I’ll sleep then”
You sip the hot drink as Suga sits beside you, yawning. He glances at you, a devilish grin growing on his face as he gently grasps your mug, making you frown.
“I won’t let any scary girl come out of the TV to take you away” He loops his arms around you, placing you on his lap gently before kissing the back of your neck, emphasizing his words.
Just as Suga was leaning close to your face, a bird stomps against the window next to his bed, causing a loud thump. Your high pitch shriek makes Suga jolt, instantly covering you completely with his much bigger figure as he looks over his shoulder at the glass.
Your grip on the neck of his sweater is still tight a few minutes after. He places his warm palms on your shaky hands before giggling with nervousness, trying to ease you.
“I told you, your cool boyfriend is going to protect you” you feel as if you can breathe again and the color returns to your face, “Sleep, Y/N. I’ll watch the clock until 3am”
“A-Are you serious Koushi?”
“If that makes you feel safe, angel, I’ll do anything” you stare into his big brown eyes, embarrassed at your childish demand as heat spread on your checks.
“But if some other bird crash against the window or any other animal wants to make his appearance this lovely night, I’ll carry you to your house, no matter the hour”
Suga’s sweet chuckles make your heartbeat slow down, a faint smile appears on your lips as you bury your face on his chest. He looks at your small figure before pecking your head lightly.
“Suga, you’re amazing” you mumble, interwinding his fingers with yours.
“I am, aren’t I?”, he chuckles again as his heartbeat lulls you into sleep, all the scary scenes fading with each circle he traces on your back.
As a result, your eyelids grow heavier and he watches you closely. A big smile spreads on his face when they finally give in to the tiredness and tugs you closer to his chest.
“See? There’s nothing to fear about, pretty angel”
“You look way too comfortable, ace”
Bokuto turns to you, head below your bed sheets and pout on his lips as you throw an oversized t-shirt over your head, walking out of your bathroom. His hair falls over his forehead as he pulls the blanket down, pressing it against his head.
“Why did you take so long?”
“I–Koutaro I was, like, 6 feet away from you!”
“Don’t you remember the movie??” he leans forward, his eyes searching for any glimpse of fear in yours, “Bad things always happen when they go to the bathroom”
He pulls back huffing at the smile that twirls on your lips, his teeth clamp together, noticing how cool you act after the heart attack he almost had.
“Awww don’t be scared, Kou.”, you coo, cupping his cheeks, his eyes drifting away, avoiding your playful stare as red tints his cheeks, “Your girlfriend is here”
“I was supposed to say that!”
Bokuto narrows his eyes at you, causing you to chuckle before giving him a soft peck. He moves his arm, lifting the blanket for you to snuggle up. In a quick movement, you find yourself in between his arms as he throws the cozy fabric over both of you.
“Guess your plan didn’t work, huh?”, you can’t see the way his cheeks turn bright red but feel his body tensing up a little as his bulky arms tight their hold around you.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Oh, so there was no special reason for you to be so persistent in watching a horror movie?”, you turn to look at him, quirking a brow as a mischievous grin grows on your face, “Sorry Kou but I’m not a jumpy person–“
Suddenly, your room goes black, darkness filling every corner, causing you to shriek. In less than a second, the ace is searching for your waist with sloppy touches to bring you closer. When he feels your hands on his shoulders his heartbeat stops pounding on his ears.
“Don’t let go of me” he whispers shyly, and you instantly stop your hand from moving to reach for your phone.
You hug him closer, looping your legs around his waist in a koala way as you shake your head lightly, giggling. His breath fans your neck and you feel his muscles relaxing.
“Baby, you hate horror movies so much, if you wanted to sleep with me you only had to ask”
In less than a second, Bukoto’s face moves away from your neck and despite the darkness you catch golden eyes staring into yours.
“So you knew from the beginning??”
You feel his embarrassed stare in the dark and search quickly for his cheeks, planting a bunch of tender kisses, tracing his skin. A smile curves on his lips against yours.
“You are devilish, doll”
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
Your heavy eyelids open a little as you adjust your position on top of Kuroo’s chest. One of his hands is running your sides while the other rest peacefully on his stomach, his amber eyes are contemplating the ceiling when you look at him.
“I can ask you the same, Kitten”
He looks down at you as your hands rub your eyes, trying to shove away the sleepiness.
“What are you thinking, Tetsu”, a grin creeps on the corner of his lips as you wrap an arm around his torso, yawning before looking again at him with interest.
“It’s so ridiculous”
“The movie, you know that’s not how blood works, don’t you? And don’t make me start about the ‘I’ll go alone towards the suspicious sound’’ cliché”
His voice shows annoyance, and you frown at him, resting your chin on his chest.
“It was really convincing!” he chuckles with closed eyes and pats lightly your head, “Stop teasing! It really scared me–“
“I know, kitten, that’s what you asked me to stay, isn’t it?”
“I'm regretting it now”, you turn away, crossing your arms and pouting. Kuroo clicks his tongue, amused, as his fingers brush your back sending a shiver to your stomach.
“Aww, don’t get mad at me. You look cute, scared like that, makes me want to protec–“
The sound of metal hitting the wooden floor makes both of you jolt. You turn to him, eyes filled with fear, and to your surprise your boyfriend shared the same look at you.
“Are your windows closed? Maybe the wind threw something off the–
A louder thump echoes from the hall, cutting of Kuroo’s explanation attempt.
“Go to check”
“That’s why you are here”, he looks at your room’s closed door, resting on his elbows as he obligates his feet to fall onto the floor, “You said you’ll protect me” you push slightly his back as a final blow.
“I’m going! But – it’ll be smarter to go together”
“You are scared, too!”
“No. I’m being intelligent–” he sits on the edge of your bed as you smile teasingly at him, poking his back. “–If there is someone, it’ll be one and a half against one”
“You– I hate you. Go already!”
He grins, fighting the urge to ask you again to go with him as he stands and walks to the handle, he opens it carefully and peeks his head out of your room. Kuroo steps further, his back disappearing into the hall before a gasp leaves his lips.
“What happened, are you alright?” you lean on the edge of the bed, gripping tightly the bed covers as Kuroo enters again with a little cat on his arms, a cocky grin on his face, “How–?”
“It seems…you were not the only kitten in the house”
A/N: uGHHH I have like two requests but I really wanted to finish this first soo maybe for next week the requests will be done. As a said in my Requests post this month I’m kind of busy :(
❀Thanks for reading!❀
Please reblog if you like it ⟳
↳ ∴ Master List ∴
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I was sure I posted this ficlet before, but I can't find it, so here it is again.
Having arrived late in the evening to Seventh Heaven after a long day of work, Cloud went straight to his and Tifa's bedroom, where he changed from his battle gear into a pair of sweats and t-shirt. Barefoot and reclining on the bed, with pillows propped behind his back, he looked nothing like the badass ex-SOLDIER people assumed he was on first meeting. He picked up one of Barret's books on planetology, loaned to Tifa, and dug his music player out of a drawer.
Even though Cloud had earphones in and his eyes on the book in his hand, he tensed on reflex when the bedroom door slowly swung inward. Alert and half rising to meet whatever danger approached, he let out a small sigh of relief when he realised it was only Denzel.
"What's up, buddy?" he asked, pulling the earbuds out. He checked the clock by the bed. "It's late. Thought you were sleeping."
"I heard shouting," Denzel replied, rubbing his eye. "Marlene said it's okay, but..." His gaze slid in the direction of the stairs.
Sympathy flickered across Cloud's face. Denzel suffered so much in his short life. It was no wonder he saw threats everywhere.
Now that he'd drawn attention to it, Cloud could hear harsh voices raised in anger coming from the bar. Tifa can handle herself. He wasn't worried, he'd seen first hand how much ass she could kick.
About to say as much to Denzel, he stopped before the first word formed on his lips. He's shaking. "Okay," Cloud said, getting off the bed and tugging his boots on. "I got it. You go back to bed." He put one hand on top of Denzel's head in reassurance, while grabbing his sword with the other.
"...I'm asking you one last time, sir, if you don't calm down you'll have to leave."
Cloud paused on the bottom step. Tifa's customer service voice sounded strained. She wasn't far from losing patience, but wasn't scared. She could definitely handle whoever the goon was. A small smile tweaked the corner of his mouth for a brief instant. Should I get a front row seat?
The next moment all amusement drained from his face, replaced with a murderous look he knew scared people.
"Slut! You think you can shake your giant tatas, overcharge for this horse piss you call beer and act like you weren't doing nothing wrong!? Huh!? Whore!"
Tifa didn't answer, but that didn't matter. Cloud was already moving through the bar at speed to plant himself behind her and level his sword at the insulting piece of shit. He grabbed her hip, both to let her know he was there and to keep her from moving.
He heard her draw a startled breath at the sword whipping past. Calm down, you're scaring her. Taking a deep breath to give him time to dull his rage to a simmer, he said to her, "Need some help?"
Tifa turned her head and angled it to meet his eyes. Shock melted into relief and she smiled up at him. "Don't know about need," she teased in that low, mellow tone of hers.
"Want," he corrected, finishing their familiar banter.
In answer, Tifa put her hand over Cloud's and squeezed. She turned her head back to the drunk patron, who'd been joined by two friends. "A threesome, huh?" she commented in a way that left no doubt the double entendre was on purpose.
Cloud still choked and had to clear his throat.
"Dumb bint," the drunk slurred. "This is why we all hate you."
The two friends grabbed him by the arms between them.
"Ah, sorry, sorry," one said, his eyes on Cloud's sword. "He doesn't know what he's saying."
"Yeah," added the other one, "we're not all like that."
As Tifa leaned back against him, Cloud said in a deadly tone, "Get out and don't let me see your faces around here again."
"Thanks for your patronage!" Tifa called in an artificially cheery voice as they left. She turned immediately once the doors swung shut. "Thanks."
"You had it in hand," he replied, trying not to dismiss her skills.
"I did," she confirmed, smiling again, "but I like knowing you have my back."
"Always," he shot out the reply before she even finished speaking.
Tifa ducked her head and chuckled.
"You always know just what to say."
"Oi, love birds, can I get a drink with this show?"
Only just realising they had an audience, Cloud felt an embarrassed heat warm the back of his neck. He stepped away from Tifa and turned, intent on heading back to their room. "Close up soon, okay?" he threw over his shoulder, intention clear in his tone.
In a teasing, yet endearingly familiar response she winked, gave him a thumbs up and said, "Copy that."
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LEAVING THEIR MIC AND CAMERA ON WHILE BEING SOFT WITH THEIR S/O
can you do a post where like the zoom call in which they accidentally have their camera on, they accidentally have their mic on while they’re being soft with their s/o with akaashi, suna, and daichi 🥺🥺
A/N: Thanks for requesting, I tried to do something a little different with this one. I couldn’t decide whether to make a headcanon or an scenario. Hope you like it! Thanks for reading ♡ ♡ ♡
Pairings: Akaashi x f!Reader, Suna x f!Reader, Daichi x f!Reader
“I’ll be back in a few minutes”
“Where are you going??”
“Tsk, you won’t die without Akaashi for ten minutes, will you?” You grin as you see Bokuto’s hair falling down when Konoha gives a sympathetic look at Akaashi.
Akaashi nods as he presses some buttons on the Keyboard before turning around, his tired look softens when he sees your figure standing in the door frame.
“Y/N” his voice ghosts as you handle him a plate with boiled rapeseed plants, which you managed to make in record time.
“It won’t be as good as the one from the store you like but…you looked really tired” his mouth curves up slightly at the sight of the food, “and I wanted to surprise you”
“You didn’t have to…”
“Just-let me take care of you for once” you huff, sitting on his lap, placing your legs sideways. Akaashi lets his head fall on the crook of your neck as his nose brushes your skin playfully, making you giggle
Akaashi obediently follows your command as you place a bite on his mouth, making him hum in response. You smile when his arms squeeze you as he leans closer to you. “Thank you, Y/N…I lo-“
His jaw falls open. Feeling his shoulders tensing up, you cock an eyebrow at him in confusion.
“Keiji, what happened?”
“It seems… I didn’t turn the camera off”
You feel your heartbeat drop at the sight of all the third years laughing, no sound coming out until Akaashi’s hand reaches the keyboard, a scared look snaps on his face, fearing about what might come out of his laptop.
“Boohoo you lovebirds go get a room!”
“Well, they already are-”
“I want a cute girlfriend that makes food for me too!!”
“W-Wait Akaa-” You blink at how fast he closes the computer, making his teammates disappear. You feel a giggle tickling your throat when you notice the blush on his ears.
“I'm never leaving this open again” He mumbles, hugging you tightly before reaching your hand to kiss it, “How embarrassed, I’m so sorry”
“You looked really cute all flustered like that, tho!”
“Y/N, I love you…but stop, please”
“I’m gonna take a nap, care to join me?”
Suna’s lazy gaze glimmers at your offer, making him fully turn his head at you.
“Why torturing me, like this?” he whines as he forces himself to return to his previous position, watching the screen as his captain scolded the twins ”Later, beautiful”.
Your shoulders fall disappointed at his response, rubbing your eyes, you climb on his bed, curling yourself up between the blankets.
“Knock it off you two, we are helping you study!”
Suna can’t refrain the long yawn that comes out, as he blinks a few times still looking at the screen. He turns his head to the back, catching your figure laying comfortably on his bed. The urge to lay with you becoming unbearable.
“Guys, there is…something really important I have to do”
“It’s okay, Suna, see you tomorrow morning!” He clicks carelessly the keyboard, his eyes fixed on you.
Suna moves quickly towards the bed before collapsing over you, his limbs covering your body, trapping you. His chest lays against your back as he presses one side of his face against yours, feeling the air in your lungs escaping you huff with a sideways smile.
“Rintarou…I can’t breathe”
“You’re the one who offered me this, remember?”
“I don’t remember offering me as your pillow”
“Too bad then” He removes the blankets before pulling it over the two of you, his arms lock your waist as he kiss lightly your cheek, closing his eyes when he feels the smile on your lips.
“ ‘Something important to do’, no shit, Suna!”
You snap your sleepy eyes at Atsmu’s voice, still processing the situation.
“The camera…” you whisper
“I don’t want them to see us, Rin” his eyes remain closed as you pout, frowning, you try to remove his arms.
Suna tightens his grip on your waist before flipping you to the other side, making only his back visible for the camera. His eyes open slightly, and you catch a tiny smile on his lips as he squishes your cheeks.
“Problem solved, beautiful. Can we sleep now?”
He turns his attention away from his laptop, a concerned look takes over his features at the way you frown looking at his phone.
“Uhm, you’ve got a text from Suga and…the first years are fighting with the basketball team over the gym”
Daichi’s eyes go blank and you swear you saw his soul leaving for a second. He stands, taking heavy steps in your direction.
“They what?” he takes his phone from your hands, closing his eyes, he feels irritation building up in his stomach, “They are making me crazy”
“Daichi Sawamura” his eyes open when your hands cup his cheeks, “I’m the only one supposed to do that” Daichi’s cheeks flush, letting out an airy laugh at the pout on you face.
“Don’t be jealous, princess” Daichi pockets his phone before placing his hands on your hips, you giggle as he pinches your sides softly. The irritation fades away when he feels your hands tracing the muscles of his back. He stares at your lips before leaning in, giving you a soft kiss.
A whistle makes the two of you break their contact abruptly. You see Daichi’s soul for the second time in the day, as he turns to the computer to see a mix of blushed and embarrassed faces.
“Sawamura! We can see you!” Michimiya screams with her face covered by her hands, you feel your cheeks heating up as you move away from Daichi, “I’ve been trying to tell you that for the last five minutes”
“Sorry!” Daichi yells as he bows at the screen, you copy him, bowing too. You share a brief look before looking away shyly, fighting the blush that was taking over your cheeks, you bow at him and then at the screen again before rushing away.
“How didn’t you hear us, Sawamura?”
Daichi sighs ,defeated. He looks at the human-shaped blanket on the couch, feeling his lips curving up instinctively as he pictures the blushed face you are desperately trying to hide under the covers.
“I was…really distracted, sorry again!”
Sorry for taking so long, but I have a pretty important oral exam this week and I’ve been feeling kind of insecure with...well everything I do HAHAHAAH
Please reblog if you like it!
Thanks for reading! ♡
↳ ∴ Master List ∴ | PART II
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐗: 𝐎𝐍𝐄 — 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: everyone x fem! reader (basically)
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1,581
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, fluff
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you download an otome game called, ‘paradox’ and become addicted to the game. the longer you play, the more you realize that the game isn’t as normal as it seems.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: cussing, violence, gore, sexual situations/smut (not in this chapter), possible triggers, horrible writing, underage sex, rape/non-con, character deaths, sexual content, age differences, etc.
𝐀/𝐍: lowercase intended + this is short but the chapters will get longer as you continue to read, don’t worry ~
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: i’ll be making a tag list for anyone who wants to be updated/notified of when i post! please comment or send an ask if you would like to be tagged!
𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 | 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 — 𝐌. 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
[ ✉️ ] - in game (chat requests)
[ 💌 ] - in game (narration)
[ 📨 ] - status notification
[ 🕊 ] - in game texts
[ ⌛️ ] - hourglass (more) — [ ⏳ ] - hourglass (less)
[ 🔮 ] - magic (given)
[ 🥀 ] - curse (given)
[ 🌺 ] - gift (given)
[ 💕 ] - like — [ 💞 ] - love
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓
"you need to download the app, pleaseee, i need to talk about these hot boys with someone," your friend pleaded through the phone.
you sigh in defeat, finally giving in. she has been bugging you to download some otome game called, 'paradox' for the past few days.
"fine, but if it's horrible and the guys are ugly i'll delete it."
"it isn't horrible i promise, and the guys are realllyyy cute in the game."
"i'll text you after i play it, okay?"
you end the call and open the app store, looking up the app. you find the app pretty quickly because of it's stark differences from the other otome games.
the icon is a plain white clock with a black background and the preview pictures didn't even show any of the love interests. the pictures are just screenshots of some chats and strange quotes with clocks on them.
no wonder only forty people have played it.
currently it's 3 AM for you but you don't care for sleep. besides, talking to (hopefully) hot fictional guys does sound appealing.
once the app finishes downloading you tap on the icon to open it. a notification pops up and tells you that you have to update the app first.
isn't the update supposed to go along with downloading it? stupid phone.
you go back to the app store and press update. within a few seconds the app is updated and you open it.
your screen turns black for a second before fading out to reveal a boy with green hair, eyes, and a pale complexion.
꒰ 💌 ꒱
"do you have any pictures of you as a baby?" the green haired boy asks while scanning your room again only to find no pictures of little you.
"i think they are in the attic, i'm not sure.." you answer, not paying much mind to him as you continue to play on your phone.
the boy lets out a huff and jumps on you, crushing you with his body weight. "i want to see them, let's go to the attic and find them," he insists.
"fine! just get off of me first," you exclaim, roughly pushing off the boy who is two times your size. the freckled boy gets off of you quickly, he was practically bouncing from excitement. you weren't sure what he was so excited about. both of you were just going to find your baby pictures.
once you stood up your friend was pulling you out of the door and urging you to lead you both to the attic. you never understood how he could be so energetic all the time.
"izuku, can you pull the string? i can't reach it."
the boy does so without objection. a short staircase appears before the two of you when pulling the string. you enter first with izuku following after.
"you can check those boxes on the right while i check the boxes on the left," you suggest. he nods and begins searching.
"i really hope we find them, i want to see some cute baby pictures of you," izuku admits, feverishly looking through each box.
you ignore him and the warmth spreading across your cheeks. izuku has always said sweet things to you but you still haven't gotten use to it.
you push the box you looked through away to get to another box when something catches your eye. the wall in front of you has a faint outline of a..door? it was quite small.
you touch the outline of it with the tip of your fingers, rubbing off the dust that was hiding it. your parents never told you that there was a secret room in the house. did they even know that there was one?
"izuku, i found something." you couldn't look away from the door for some reason. it had this sort of pull to it. your hands were itching to open it.
"did you find the pictures?" izuku walks toward your sitting figure, hope brightening his eyes.
"no..but i found this secret door. let's try to open it," you look for any sort of knob or handle only to find none. there is a faint outline of a keyhole though, it was covered with wallpaper.
"i really wanted to see those pictures but they can wait..how should we open it?" izuku takes a seat next to you and scoots closer to the door to examine it. "ow!"
"this loose nail just snipped me," izuku points at the loose nail and board in front of him. there was a small glint of something underneath the loose board.
you pull the old board off to find a aged key underneath it. "wow- you unintentionally found it without even trying."
you turned your attention back on the small outline of the door and scratch away at the wallpaper with the key until it fully went in. it was difficult turning the key but with some help from izuku you both managed to do it. an audible click sounds and the small door opens outward.
inside is complete darkness. you are hesitant to peak your head in because you are afraid of some sort of insect jumping on you.
"can you find us a flashlight? i don't think it's a good idea for us to go in without one.." you explain. one part of you didn't want to go in and the other did.
you felt both excited and scared of what could possibly be discovered. izuku hands you a flashlight after a few short minutes of searching and you click it on, slowly entering the little room first on all fours. izuku follows you without hesitation.
"i'm surprised it isn't dusty in here and infested with insects by now," you said, continuing onward with a little more energy than before now that you don't have to worry about possibly getting attacked by spiders.
it felt like the room or more like tunnel was never ending. the walls being a pitch black didn't help that thought. after what felt like twenty minutes of endless crawling, you notice light peeking out from another door a few meters from you.
you quickly crawl to it and push as hard as you could. the door finally caving in when the both of you pushed your weight on it.
izuku falls out of the door and tumbled onto the ground ungracefully with you. the both of you stood up, stretching your limbs and dusting off your clothes.
"how did we get here?" taking in your surroundings you knew immediately that you both aren't at your house. the room the two of you are in is lavished in decorative furniture. the walls are a creamy white and the furniture has a complimenting black and white color scheme. it looks like something out of a fairy tail.
"this is weird," izuku looks around, equally confused. how did you get here? how could that small door connect to this room?
you noticed the room had another door. the room didn't look like it was just one room. you open the door a few inches wide and take a peek outside. you couldn't believe it.
outside of the door, was a wide hallway with many other doors aligning the walls. everything just as decorative as the room.
"this can't be real!" you open the door wide and leave the room, izuku following. "this doesn't make sense.."
the two of you marvel at your new surroundings, it was like you both got sucked into a fantasy book.
you were so immersed in your surroundings that you didn't even hear a pair of foot steps approaching.
a body crashes into yours causing you to fall harshly on your back.
"i-i'm so sorry! please forgive me..(l/n)? oh this is bad- i'm truly sorry!" a blue haired boy with long droopy bunny ears apologizes profusely. he extends a hand out for you and you take it hesitantly.
his whole appearance is quite unique. rich dark blue hair, pale skin (though it's crimson now, most likely from embarrassment), long bunny ears that are a shade darker than his hair, and troubled indigo eyes. wait, how did he know my name?
wait, how did he know your name? you never entered your name in the game..unless it synced with your Apple ID..
꒰ 💌 ꒱
"it's okay, really.." you didn't really know what else to say. the poor bunny boy looks like he's going to break down and cry any moment. it oddly makes you feel sympathetic for him.
the strange boy's eyes look you up and down, seemingly checking if you are injured in anyway. it is pretty endearing.
"i'm sorry again i, uh i..." bunny boy averts his eyes to his watch and jolts up, tapping his foot nervously, "oh no, i'm late! the prince is going to be really mad..we should go now, please follow me."
without looking back, bunny boy starts to walk away. prince? could they just be some weird cosplayers? sense bunny boy could give you more answers you follow him with izuku.
"i don't know if we should trust him.." izuku whispers to you before giving bunny boy a quick glance.
what will you say?
‣ "he doesn't seem harmful.."
‣ "yeah, you're right..but he seems to know what's going on."
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Reader (Ler) x Jimin (Lee)
Description: In which you're in Ler mood and you wanted to tickle Jimin
Author: This is my first ever tickle fic🙈 I felt nervous as f*ck, debating wether it was a good idea to post this or not but eventually I did😐. Anyways Im still new to writing so please excuse all the errors here I feel lazy to edit them😂 so other than that uhm I hope you enjoy😬
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You're just not feeling it today. You sat on the couch boredom taking over your system making you feel like exploding. What's worse is that you're in Ler mood right now and you have this dying urge to tickle someone. But alas its just you alone in your apartment.
You let out a small whine as you slid down your couch slowly making your way to the cold tiled floor
*Knock Knock* Your eyes lit up when you knew someone was outside. I wonder who it is. You stood up and made your way to door, opening it to find out that it was your good ol friend Jimin.
"Jimin! It's nice to see you come in" You smiled gesturing the male to enter inside
"Thanks, It's nice to see you too, I brought some popcorn wanna binge watch some movies?"
And just like that both you and Jimin spent the last few hours watching movie. There are instances wherein you'd forget your in ler mood but it was still there and you'd be reminded of it from time to time.
You'd be looking at Jimin from time to time wondering if he is ticklish. The curiosity in you made you tempted to attack him with tickles at any moment. But... For some reason you felt to embarrass or scared to do it
"Y/N?" Jimin's voice snapped you out of your train of thoughts. You turned your head to him responding with a hum "You good? You look so uneasy for some reason, wanna check and see if you're ok"
You let out a sigh, you can't f*cking take it anymore. You turned your entire body facing the male with a deadass serious face. "Jimin..." You started off
"Y-yeh?" The male stuttered. He was confused for a sec, wondering why your suddenly like this
"How well can you handle tickles?" You asked, crossing your arms. Your question took Jimin by surprise
"I- uh... Not so well I guess, I'm real ticklish w-why?" Jimin scratch his nape. You suddenly smirked at him
"Good" You then tackled the male to the couch without him being able to react in time. With your swift hands you grabbed a thin rope and bind his hands together securing them above his head.
Jimin looked at you in horror. All weird thoughts consuming his minds. Knowing exactly what assumptions his making you spoke up
"Chill...I'm not doing any of that shet, I'm just simply wanting to satisfy my needs, not just how you think of it" Jimin looked at you in pure confusion "You'll see" You smiled sweetly at him
Without wasting time you decided to go easy on him first. "Boop" You said as you poked his sides
"Y-Y/N" He giggled "What are you doing?"
"What else you think I'm doing" You look at him innocently before poking his sides again. Jimin giggled again amd that's when you started poking both his sides fastly
"Y/N! Hahahahaha stohohohop thahahahat!" Jimin's giggles were getting louder
"Your laugh is too cute why should I?" You began scratching his sides as you started moving your fingers all over his tummy.
"Nohohohohohoho!" Jimin's eye smile started to display as he shook his head side to side wiggling under your weight.
"Yes~" You teased. After a minute or so you stopped giving him time to breath.
"Why are you so cute?"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, let's continue now shall we?" You clapped your hands with a smile. You then reached into your pocket pulling out a cute small feather.
A smirk was on your face as you slowly lift up Jimin's shirt. Slowly you dragged the feather around his cute tummy drawing patterns. Once again he burst out into cute lil giggles. "Y/N! hahahahahaha"
"Does this tickle? Is wittle Jiminie ticklish? Coochi coochi coo~" You teased him. Making him a blush as giggles continue spilling out of his mouth.
If you were wondering what's Jimin thinking about at the moment or how his feeling, strangely he was enjoying it. He wasn't a fond of being tickled, but you, you made tickling feel different to him. Like he wanted more of your attention as you do this to him.
"You're belly button looks cute too I wonder what will happen if I-" You then started placing the tip of the feather on his belly button then started swirling it around the area "Do this".
Jimin had a bright smile on his face, his giggles filling inside the room as you witness floods of tears escaping his eyes.
After minutes you gave him another break. The boy was already a sweaty mess, panting, tears at the corner of his eyes and his face so close to a tomato.
"Now now Y/N you had your fun, you can untie me now"
"C'mon don't act like you don't enjoyed it"
"I- uh..." Jimin started blushing. He got caught off guard when you face was suddenly so close to his.
"So you enjoyed it didn't you?" You smirked, finding his flustered state utterly adorable "Now tell me Jimin... Where is your worst spot?" You asked
"I-...I'm not telling!"
"Feeling a little bratty ey...Fine don't tell me, I'll just have to find out myself then" Jimin gulped, What did i get myself into?
"Now where should I start? I've already seen your sides and tummy, I doubt your feet is ticklish seen Hobi done that before, Hmmmm what about" You started going for his thighs giving it a couple of squeezes making him giggle.
"Well... Its something but not the reaction I was hoping" You stopped going for his thighs as you then went to his ribs. Using your thumbs to rub it against every rib, aswell as wiggling your fingers in between each rib
"Y/N!" He screeched
"Hmmm not quite" You pouted as you stopped tickling him. Suddenly a memory hit you "Ah I remember now" You smirked
Your eyes suddenly diverted to his underarms. "I remember you mentioning it in front of Hobi once how could I forget?" You face palmed
Jimin taking in what you said suddenly felt nervous. "Y-Y/N? What are you talking about?"
"You'll see...this is what happens for not telling me" You pulled his shirt up until his underarms were exposed enough for you to attack. "But I'd find out one way or another" You attack his pits wiggling your fingers fastly on the flesh, receiving the reaction you were hoping to get
"Y/N! NOHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHEREEE PLEHEHEHEASSEEE" Jimin squealed, his laugh got louder as he squeezed his eyes shut , hands balled up into a fist, arms harshly tugging on the rope and his head going side to side. He couldn't escape this torture and he had no choice but to endure it. But he was enjoying himself anyways
"Tickle tickle tickle Jimin~ Your so cute~ You like being tickled here don't you?~ This is such a good spot I can tickle here for hours" You teased
"Stohohohohohop with thehehe teheheheheasseesss" He blushed a bright red color, more tears streaming from his cheeks
After a while you finally stopped. You untied his hands and got off of him. The boy hugged his body giggling, the tickling feeling still there.
"I hahahate you" He glared at you "But...your lucky I actually had fun" his words made you smile
"But don't you think I won't get revenge for this" Jimin suddenly stood up wiggling his fingers infrot of you
"Oh sh*t" You suddenly ran. Jimin chased you all around your place. He then tackled you to the ground and that's when tickle fight has begun.
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two anons asked for more introverted and shy! reader .
Omg the headcanon w suga was so good TT I wanted to ask if you could do the same one with kags;-; 💞 like the introverted shy one
Oh my goooddddd the Suga one was so cuteeeee! Can I request the same one w kuroo? ;-; if not it’s totally fine!
and you know what ? i love this headcanon so much so i’m gonna do more of this . i hope you don’t mind i put both in one , it’s easier to post !
𝐒𝐇𝐘 , 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 !
karasuno and nekoma boys protect you because of your shyness !
— check out my masterlist !!
you being a shy introvert has never affected these boys’ feelings for you . if anything , they feel more obligated to keep you safe and protected ! these guys will do everything to make sure you’re supported and loved .
a / n : ehehehehe as a somewhat shy person myself i needed this
holy moly this came out so much longer than i originally planned , especially tobio’s — enjoy 😭
anyways ! if you want to be part of my general taglist - just ask ! and be specific if you want to be updated for certain things ( just headcanons , just scenarios , etc ) 🥺
both of you are extremely shy but somehow you make your relationship work perfectly
well , tobio isn't shy , per se - he's just extremely awkward
shoyo was literally the one who had to do most of the communication between you and him before you two became a thing
kags became brave enough to ask you out himself after countless weeks of psyching himself up for it
he was beyond thankful when you said yes , his confidence was boosted now that he conquered his fear of confessing to you
kageyama is very understanding of your shyness - he won't ever make you do anything you're uncomfortable with , and will always make sure you feel safe when you two are out together
as more of an introvert himself , he prefers to spend time with you in private , so it's a win-win situation for the two of you in that case
you love to cuddle with tobio when it's just you two - he's become accustomed to you just climbing on top of him whenever and just making yourself at home
hinata was the one who encouraged you to meet the rest of the volleyball team - kags hit him on the head when he mentioned it
" BOKE ! THEY'RE SHY ! BE CONSIDERATE OF THEIR FEELINGS ! "
" no , it's okay tobio !! i'd love to meet your team ! "
he said o-o ??
" really , y/n ? you'll come to practice to meet everyone ? "
" y-yeah ! i'm sure it's not too bad . and maybe i could watch you practice too , if that's allowed ? "
" OMG KAGEYAMA PLEASE LET Y/N WATCH US PRACTICE IT WOULD BE SO COOL TO HAVE THEM THERE WE SHOULD TOTALLY - "
" SHUT UP DUMBASS IT'S THEIR CHOICE IF THEY WANNA WATCH "
yes you wanted to watch , but working your way up to meet them was a terrifying experience
what if they didn't like you ?
you mentioned your fear to tobio after school , who shook his head with a smile
" they're going to love you , y/n . you'd be surprised with how accepting they are . hinata and i told you about our first day , right ? "
" yes , yes you did "
WOAH A BUZZ CUT GUY OPENED THE DOOR
you jumped behind kageyama as the bald guy started yelling at him about who knows what , you were too spooked to listen
shoyo was already at the gym , and noticed you hiding behind your boyfriend
" guys , guys ! that's kageyama's s.o. ! the one hiding behind him ! "
did hinata forget you're shy or something like wtf dude
you peeked out from behind kags , going pale as a whole sea of tall men stared right back at you
" everyone , this is y/n . y/n , this is my volleyball team . " taking you by the hand , tobio kept you close to him as he pulled you to his side
everyone collectively said hi , quietly to not overwhelm you
" damn kageyama , already cuffed as a first year , huh ? " this short dude with a blond tuft in front of his forehead patted him on the shoulder , and you watched as tobio struggled to reply , his cheeks going pink in embarrassment
you stayed away from the third years , as they had this powerful presence around them that intimidated you - especially that guy in the man bun , he's terrifying
you kept your distance from tsukishima , too - he's tall , sassy , and very scary
thankfully kiyoko was soft spoken enough to make you feel comfortable with being left with her - WTF WHO IS THAT INCOMING GROWN MAN HIDE
wait it's just the coach - NEVERMIND FALSE ALARM
you had never seen kageyama play volleyball until now - you heard about his middle school reputation , but he felt self conscious about it . so , you hardly ever brought it up in conversation
watching him in action was like falling for him all over again
the way he handled the ball so easily ; he could probably set in his sleep if he wanted to
and that quick attack - like damn , shoyo and tobio really are the dream team
after practice , WOOO BOY you were all over your him
practically gawking over everything you saw during practice - like DAMN , that setter is your boyfriend
you begged him to let you watch karasuno practice again , you'd end up warming up to the others eventually - you had him and hinata for support
he felt shy with how excited you were to watch him practice , but agreed to let you come to practice with him from now on
" tobio , you're so cool !! i wanna learn how to do the amazing things you do "
" cutie . i'd love to teach you sometime , y/n .
needless to say , tetsurou is anything but shy
how you managed to snag a catch like kuroo is beyond you
he likes - no , loves - your soft atmosphere , the peace that your presence brings him
he was literally a magnet to you in his quest of wooing you
the moment you even appeared in the same room for a second he’d end up right there with you
even if he was clingy in a sense , he respected your shyness and your boundaries , and would step away if he felt like you were uncomfortable with him
yes we stan gentleman kuroo anyway
eventually his charismatic tendencies and alluring charms got to you and you began to enjoy his company more and more
yes , you agreed to becoming his s.o. , only if he understood that you would be sometimes too shy to go out places with him
he didn’t care , he didn’t care if all you two did was stay at home — this boy was over the moon that you were now officially his
the first thing he did was brag to his team lmao
did i mention that nekoma was betting on him being able to get you ?
kenma and lev owed yamamoto yen for being kuroo’s only supporter BFHSJNFNF
yaku took it a step further and told tetsu to bring you here — to which he internally panicked
he wasn’t planning on introducing you to the others so early , you two were still trying to get in the groove of being in a relationship
but after being pestered by literally everyone else on the team , he finally gave in and agreed to ask you the next time he saw you
he sugar coated it to the max when he saw you the next day
“ y/n , my absolute darling , i know you said you’re a shy little cutie and all , but — ”
“ tetsu , please just tell me what you need from me . ”
LMAOOOO you can read the third year like a book ; he shut up immediately when you shot an eyebrow upwards
“ i wasn’t planning to introduce you this early but , the guys from my volleyball team want to meet you . today , after school , preferably . ”
y/n.exe has stopped working
“ baby , baby ! you don’t have to , i swear ! i’m not gonna push you to do anything you don’t want , they just want to meet you in person once , is all . you never have to go again if you decide to go only one time , i promise . ”
hhhhhhhhh why is tetsurou like this
“ fine , i’ll go today . i have nothing to do after school anyway . but after that , no more . i can only take so much , you know that . ”
he punched his fists in the air before snatching a kiss to your temple
“ thank you , baby ! you won’t regret meeting them , i promise . ”
it took a lot of psyching yourself up to actually go through with this
but kuroo looked so happy when you agreed , you didn’t wanna let him down :(
so you two met up after school — he was already with kenma
you already met kenma in the past , so seeing him didn’t bother you ; he was an introvert too so he understood how you felt
“ hi , y/n . i’m surprised you can keep up with kuroo the way you do . ”
“ it’s strenuous sometimes , but worth it . ”
aww look at you two bonding — even if it was at kuroo’s expense , he looked like he was about to explode in tears of joy
that moment of peace left the moment the gym doors bashed open — WHO THE FGIDKFK WAS STANDING AT THE DOOR
BIG SCARY DUDE WITH WHITE HAIR
“ KENMA KENMA KENMA KENMA CAN YOU PLEAAAAAAASE SET ME SOME BALLS ”
“ not now , lev . ”
oh my god he saw you
no turning back now
the so-called lev widened his eyes , his jaw dropped for a few seconds before running back into the gym
“ GUYS , GUYS ! HE DID IT ! HE BROUGHT Y/N ! ITS HAPPENING ! ”
kuroo appeared like a deer in headlights as you looked at him dumbfoundedly
“ tetsurou . what , and i mean what , is going on ? ”
you watched as someone much much smaller than him — you recognized yaku , he was your classmate — literally kick lev across the back , causing him to fall over
“ they’re a rowdy bunch , y/n . but they won’t lay a hand on you , i assure you . they’ve got much more bark than bite . if they even do have a bite . ”
kenma answered you before kuroo could ; he was blubbering away with incoherent excuses answers you couldn’t even understand
a dude with a mohawk came up to inspect you , and you screamed
tetsurou slapped him away , before wrapping his arms around you protectively
“ don’t go near y/n ! they’re very shy , so please be careful ! ”
this is so embarrassing you might just die
kenma and yaku made sure everyone else yamamoto and lev gave you personal space
once they were all settled down , you actually thought they were a nice bunch — it also helped to know that lev was a first year , it made him appear much less scary
kuroo insisted that you stay for practice , and after some pestering from him and the rest of the team , you agreed
watching them practice was not what you expected
where was tetsurou kuroo and what did they do to him
you didn’t even recognize your boyfriend as he took his rightful role as captain on the court , helping the others and giving pointers wherever needed
the others fell in place , too — watching everyone practice was totally different to how they acted before
you were actually mesmerized , watching them — you didn’t even realize practice was over until kuroo walked over to you and told you that it was over
“ i-it’s over already ? ”
“ yeah , baby . it’s done . did you enjoy it ? ”
“ yeah . . . yeah , i did . i enjoyed it a lot , actually ! ”
“ well , if you’re up for it , the manager spot is very much open . but you don’t have to take it , i know you said this would be the only time you’d come with me . ”
oh no no no you were not gonna miss a chance to be mesmerized like that again
“ y’know what , tetsu ? i want to be the manager . sign me up . ”
cue a screaming yamamoto and long legs lev jumping for joy as tetsurou grinned like crazy at your response
561 notes · View notes
˗ˏˋ Show off ˎˊ˗
Characters: izuku midoriya
Overview: when he see how impressed you are with his stength, he cant help but show off more of his abilities. Its a shame he didn't realise what effect he was having on you.
Warnings: s m u t, begging, hair pulling. Its pretty vanilla.
A/n: This is my first time posting smut so please be gentle on my soul.
This ones for my hornee friends. You know who you are. :>
"This is so exciting!" You happily bounced on the balls of your feet as you bubbled over with joy. Your boyfriend laughed at your reaction, he hadn't seen you this excited in so long, it made his heart melt, You're so adorable. If he didn't have so many boxes to move into your newly bought, shared home he'd love to pepper some kisses over your face.
"I know, I'm excited too. Even with all the heavy lifting we have to do today." He chuckled as he reached over to grab another box.
"Oh! Let me help you!" You moved towards him but he shook his head. "No it's ok honey, I got it but can you get the doors for me? He asked as he reached for yet another box. You would be lying if you said you weren't impressed, he was picking up those heavy boxes like they were nothing! You knew he was strong from his line of work, not to mention it showed in his muscles, yet it never failed to make you gush. You'd be seeing a lot more of it now you two will be moving in together.
You rushed over to hold the front door open for him, and as he passed you your jaw dropped. He was casually carrying 6 of the heaviest boxes you had packed like they were a couple of pillows. He placed them down and turned to find you staring with your jaw dropped open.
"What?" He suppressed a laugh at your expression, though he was genuinely confused as to why you were gawking at him.
"Y-you're really strong!" You squeaked. Izuku blink, taking a second to process before letting out a laugh. You had been dating for years and you had seen him working out more than once, yet it still seemed to impress you to no end. "Of course I am!! I am a hero after all."
You blushed, shyly rubbing your arm. You'd probably never get over how strong he was. You weren't a hero yourself, you weren't necessarily strong either, so of course it was bound to impress you! "I-I know but it's still impressive! I guess I just forget how strong you are sometimes."
Usually you were the one teasing him but this time you were the one left with a red face.
Sometimes you forgot how strong he was since he has such a cute face, even though he was much older now, he was no longer a school boy, but his cheeks were still a bit on the plump side, that mixed with his freckles- It was adorable! Somehow he pulled it off so well that they looked so soft and kissable yet he still had a defined jawline and it all went together so well. He was just so handsome-
"Honey? You're staring."
You froze up.
You wanted to hit your head against the door, it was so embarrassing! You've been caught ogling him again and you could see he was enjoying it from the smile on his face alone.
"Come on, let's get the rest of those boxes there'll be plenty of time to stare later." He passed you again, you couldn't believe he was teasing you about this!
You trudged behind him with a red face, making a mental note to get back at him later for this.
The night after you two had officially moved in was spent on the couch, your eyes barely open as you slowly fell asleep. You had spent the whole day unpacking and organising everything and it was safe to say that you were exhausted. Izuku seemed completely fine, despite doing most of the heavy work, then again, he had probably dealt with much more physically demanding days with his line of work.
Seeing him moving furniture around on his own, lifting heavy objects that would take the work of 3 people had really been a treat for you, though he caught you staring at him every single time and you could swear he was becoming smug about it.
You tried your best to focus on the movie but the dull lights from the TV screen combined with warmth from your boyfriend made it the perfect atmosphere to fall asleep in. You yawned as your eyes fell close and you felt izuku's hand rub up your side. "I think it's time for bed." He whispered as he looked down at you barely holding onto consciousness.
You really didn't want to have to move but falling asleep on the couch would be uncomfortable. You nodded and forced your body to push yourself up only to feel a hand go under your legs and another behind you back. You were lifted up.
Your eyes peaked open slightly, you were cradled against Izuku's chest, he was carrying you to bed. "Strong.." You muttered which earned a small laugh from your boyfriend. "I don't know how heavy you think you are but this of all things shouldn't be so impressive to you."
"I really weigh nothing to you huh?"
"Well, I can usually carry about 5-6 people in one go when rescuing. So no, you don't." He replied and even in your sleepy state you could hear the prideful tone in his voice as he spoke. If you weren't so sleepy right now you might have teased him for that. It almost sounded like he was trying to show off a little.. which was strangely out of character for him, and yet it was working on you.
You couldn't help but admire his strength, then again you admired a lot about him. He made you feel so lucky, lucky to be in love with someone so amazing and to have him love you back. It felt too good to be true.
He gently placed you onto the bed and pulled the covers up over you. Your face twisted into a frown at his missing warmth but he quickly crawled in next to you and encased you into his arms.
In your sleep induced state you didn't realise the way your hands were wandering around his muscles as you drifted off, leaving your boyfriend red faced.
It felt- nice… like you were admiring and almost worshiping him. He wasn't egotistical and he never thought to show off how strong he was to others, but when it was you? It felt so good.
He could feel himself slowly becoming addicted to how you reacted to his strength alone. The way you looked at him like he was the most amazing person in the world to you. He was ashamed to admit he wanted more, more of you giving him that look, more of seeing your red face when you got caught.
He looked down at your sleeping face, your hand still placed on his tone stomach, he smiled, butterflies filling his chest.
Maybe he should start showing off to you more often.
You were currently sitting on the couch with your laptop resting on your legs. You were catching up on some work as your boyfriend went around cleaning your newly shared home. You had offered to help him several times but he kept insisting it was fine and you should focus on your work.
Even when you lived together he played up to the gentleman role. It had only been a week and whenever he wasn't at work he was insisting on cooking and cleaning for you, though you mostly took care of those when he was on the job since your line of work was much less demanding than his.
You glanced up from the screen to see your boyfriend bent over, his plump ass in the air as he vacuumed under the tv stand. You pressed your lips together as you shamelessly started, why did he always have to wear shorts? They cupped him so well. He probably wasn't even aware of it either.
Something about living together now had helped you to notice anytime he'd bend over or wear something that would show off his muscles more often. You had tried not to be too much of a perv but- well it was kind of hard to control when you were constantly around your extremely good looking boyfriend.
You made sure to quickly avert your eyes once he stood back up so as to not be caught. You couldn't afford to keep going red faced around him, it was too embarrassing.
You played innocent as you focused on your work but you still had a smirk on your face from seeing the lovely sight. Luckily Izuku was too busy with cleaning to notice.
As he made his way around the room and got closer to you, you looked up and got ready to stand. "Oh, need me to move?" You asked as you assumed he'd want to get under the couch too. "No you're good!" He grinned in return.
"Wh- AAH!" You clutched onto the arm rest as he lifted up the couch with one arm. You didn't know what it was but a sudden fire lit in the pit of your stomach. Seeing him so effortlessly lift the couch, with you still on it. Was more than you could handle.
"So strong..." Like your stomach, your face began heating up and you failed to see the grin on Izuku's face at your words. He placed you and the couch back down and took a few seconds to admire the look on your face. It was so cute, it made him feel prideful that his girlfriend was gushing over him so much.
He felt almost guilty for doing this on purpose, for trying to show off to you.
"Are you ok, princess?" He asked with a tilt of his head. You looked up at him with a look of awe and admiration, it's not like he wasn't used to this from his fans. It always felt so nice to know people admired him, but when it was you who was admiring him, something about it felt so much better!
You reached over and tugged at his hand. "Yeah! I just want some cuddles." It wasn't a lie, seeing him do something so amazing like it was nothing made you want to admire him even more. "I still have cleaning-"
"Can you do it later?" You whipped out the puppy eyes and he gave in almost immediately.
"You know, I can't say no to that face." He sat down next to you and without a second to waste you were in his lap cuddling up to him. Your laptop and work were forgotten in an instant as you pressed sweet little kisses to his jaw and neck.
He did not expect his showing off to have this effect on you. He had been showing off in front of you any chance he got but this reaction was still surprising.
Were you pent up? It sure felt that way by how you were sloppily kissing his neck
Since you two hadn't been living together until recently you hadn't had the chance to see his strength in action except for on tv. But seeing it in person and seeing how casual it was for him to pick up such heavy objects or work out for hours and not break a sweat.
It was just too indulgent. How did you get so lucky?
You kept peppering kisses over his face which made him smile. He loved the attention, he wanted more of it too.
“Are you doing this on purpose?” you asked him.
“what do you mean?”
You pulled away from his jaw,your fingers tangled into his hair. You grabbed a fist full of his green locks and he knew what was going to happen. You pulled on his locks, his head tilting back as he let out a small breathy gasp. You knew it was one of his weaknesses. “Don't play coy with me hero~. I’m not dumb.”
"I-I just like the way you look at me." He admitted, his face flushing in embarrassment at the confession. It made you grin,
"Show off." He didn't dare deny your statement, he knew it was true.
You muttered before leaning down to his neck, you let your hot breath linger on his skin, but did not dare to place your lips there until you heard him let out a needy whine.
You could tell by the way his hands squeezed at your hips that he was getting impatient. You began to press light kisses on his skin, slowly making your way around to the crook of his neck. When you pressed a kiss to a certain area you felt him shiver and you knew this was the place to give him a nice bite. You didn't bite him too hard, just enough to leave a mark.
In return he pulled your hips forward to meet his own. The sheer force of it alone told you he was begging for more. "Please, don't tease me."
"You mean like how you've been teasing me all this time?" You heard him gulp. "Count this as revenge." You licked a strip up to his ear so you could whisper to him. "But I also want to worship you, that's what you were after right? Well you win, honey." You felt him shiver beneath you and you knew he was putty in your hands.
His fingers dug into your hips, forcing your shirt up a bit. You moved down to his neck and began to attack that sweet spot you were all too familiar with. Sucking, licking and biting, yet never being too rough about it. You were here to worship his body, not hurt him. You didn't even have to rock your hips as his hands began to guide your hips for you. It was a sign of desperation as he pulled you to grind against his growing bulge. You could feel him throbbing beneath you as his hips buckled, you didn't bother to stop him. It felt so good.
"Aah.. Kiss.." he muttered breathlessly, you moved up to face him, your nose brushing against his skin. You stared down at him with half lidded eyes. "Making demands now huh?" You questioned and he shook his head. "Please?" He added. What a good boy.
Your hands grabbed at his hair and pulled his head towards you, Your lips meeting in desperation, he whined and moaned as your hips grinded against his hard, throbbing cock. He melted into the couch, his breathy moans mixed with yours as he sloppily made out with you, saliva dribbling down your chin. His hands desperately ran around your body, desperate to feel your bare skin, they grabbed at whatever they could, groping your thighs and ass before roaming up to your shirt.
His hands fumbled to take your shirt off but you grabbed his hands before he could and pulled them away. "I don't think so. Not yet."
You hooked your finger under his shirt and he knew what you were telling him to do. He obediently pulled it off and your eyes scanned over him, he could see the love you held for him in them. The way they practically worshiped all his muscles. He loved it.
Your hands ran down his chest to the hem of his shorts. "God, you're so handsome."
You saw his lips curl up as he rested his head on the back on the couch, his chest rising and falling to the beat of his erratic heart, you pressed kisses to his nipples, your padded tongue poked out to lick them, he whimpered, shivering under you.
"You're being such a good boy today. I think you deserve more." You ran your hand through his hair, giving him one last kiss as you yanked his shorts down, his cock sprung out, already slick with precum.
"You're not even wearing underwear?" He really had been trying to catch your attention today. You smirked.
You hopped off his lap and pulled his shorts all the way off so you could open his legs and situate yourself between them. His hands were already on your shoulders in anticipation. He was so needy and he didn't even have to say it, his actions said it all. You smiled at the way precum had already dribbled down the head.
You grabbed the base with your hand and used the pad of your tongue to lap it up, earning some a moan in return. The salty taste hit your tongue and you swallowed it. His hands squeezed your shoulders as your hot breath hit his exposed skin.
Izuku brushed hair from your face so it wouldn't be in your way, he was always so thoughtful, even now.
You tauntingly took the head into your mouth, making sure to look up at him through your lashes so you could see his reaction. His eyes had already slipped close in bliss, his eyebrows scrunched together. You could feel his hips twitch beneath you. You hummed against him, sending vibrations down his length, more greedy whines slipped from his lip and his grip on your tightened.He was always so sensitive, but you liked that about him.
You began moving your head up and down his shaft, slowly, his hands wove into your hair. It didn't take long for him to start grinding his hips up into your mouth. He couldn't help it, he was desperate for more. You didn't stop him, how could you when he was making such beautiful noises. His face scrunched up as those desperate whines and whimpers got louder.
"A-ah fuck. Faster princess, please go faster!" He begged and you quickened your pace, your padded tongue rubbing him in all the right spots as your hand worked the places your mouth couldn't reach. Saliva dripped from your mouth as you hollow your cheeks. He tried not to thrust up too hard into your mouth but the pleasure was just too much. He heard you gag as the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat and was about to apologise until he heard you moaned again.
"Princess, ah~ i'm going to cum. Mmh~" he pleaded and you pulled back, your hand pumping his slick cock, as more precum began to dribble out of the head.
You replied, "Don't worry baby, go ahead. Cum for me." You reassured him, taking the time to admire the way his lips parted as his hips thrusted up into your hand. His thighs tensed up, toe curling by your knees as he panted, desperately moaning out your name. You could see he was close.
You hand quicked, your thumb teasing his head as the other hand fondled his balls. You pressed kisses to his thigh, licking and nipping at his skin.
"Cum for me hero~" you whispered, his toes curling as he released a loud, drawn out moan. His large palms held onto your shoulders for dear life as his back arched, his toes digging into the floor as he cried out. His hot cum spilled over your chest.
"..ah...baby," he panted. "Did i make a mess again?" He asked, his eyes closed as he came down from his high. You hopped back up onto his lap. Even just having him pressed against you made your heat rise. his cock was still throbbing from the pleasure.
"Why don't you take a look?" You pulled the arm that was covering his eyes away and his lips parted at the sight of your chest covered in his cum.
"We're not done just yet." You rocked your hips forward and he gasped, his sensitivity was doubled since he had just orgasmed.
You slowly began to strip in front of him, not missing the way his big eyes greedily took you in, but you could still see the admiration in them. when your breasts spring free from your bra his lips immediately attached to them. As if he had been waiting to taste them all this time.
You slowly began to rock your pussy against his cock. All the way up, and back down. You felt your wetness smearing all over him and it drove him wild. "o-oh angel~ mmh~" he moaned, feeling your slickness rubbing all over his cock turned him on even more.
He was getting hard again.
You felt Izuku slip down between your legs as you knelt over him. You raised an eyebrow as he pulled your knees to rest by his head. “what are you doing? this is supposed to be about you.”
“Well I want to hear you cry out too.” he smiled up at you and you felt his tongue lick all the way up your clit. You hummed, your hand going back to his hair to pet him. He kisses the folds of your clit, lapping up all your juices, he moans at the taste before moving down, his tongue prodding at your hole, his nose buried between your walls as he pushed his wet muscle inside of you.
You moaned, lowering yourself onto his face more so his tongue could sink deeper into you. You could hear Izuku's muffled moaning between wet, sloppy noises. He exhaled through his nose as his tongue thrusted into you. His hands moved up from your thighs and massaged your ass cheeks, you felt him pushing you close to him, edging you to fuck his face.
You began to grind your hips down, moaning louder as his tongue swirled around you. “ah- fuck. izu~” he exhaled, hearing you cry out his name spurred him on even more. His kisses got sloppier, his tongue moved faster, writhing inside of you, one of his hands moved around to your clit, his thumb vigorously rubbing at your folds. He wanted you to cum onto his tongue, to taste all of you.
Your thighs clenched around his head and your hand pulling at his hair. He whimpered under you as you grinded against his lips, he found it hard to breath, being smothered between the folds of your wet pussy, but somehow the lack of air only made it more pleasurable. His head was spinning and, absentmindedly, one hand left your body so he could start to rub at his cock, slowly pumping his hand up and down his length at the sounds of your slutty moans. Your hips moved faster, but when you felt yourself getting close to cumming, so you pulled him off.
He had a mix of saliva and precum all around his lips and cheeks, his hair was messier than usual. His eyes were half lidded from pleasure, his hand still rubbing himself. He was a beautiful, sloppy, mess.
You heard him gasping for breath, “wh-what are you doing, I want you to-”
“Shh, don't worry baby, i’m going to take it from here.”
He sat back up and you hovered over his cock, the tip rubbed against your slick hole, you could feel he was leaking precum again. you gave him a few firm strokes before looking down at him with a smirk. He knew what you wanted, you wanted him to beg for it. Beg to fill you up. So like the obedient puppy he was, he gave into you. "P-please princess! I need you, please- i want you to ride me until I cum inside you. Don't make me wait any longer. Please- aah!!."
You sat down on him before he could finish, letting out a sigh of pleasure as izuku threw his head back. "You fill me up so well don't you baby?" You brushed back hair from his flushed, scrunched up face. He nodded obediently, unable to speak as he panted and whimpered at the feeling of his cock buried deep in your hot walls, taking him all in one go. His hands massaged your breasts as he pressed kisses to skin.
Your hands went to the back of the couch to give yourself some leverage as you lifted yourself back up until only the tip was left in. You watched his face contort into one of impatience. He whined, desperate to have you slam down on him. His hands went to your hips, and slowly pulled you back down.
You began your steady pace, rocking your hips up and down. The sound of wet, slapping skin echoed through your new home. Izuku squirmed under you, his hands digging into your hips as he slowly helped you up and down. His hips thrusted up. burying his cock deeper inside of you and you let out a gasp, your back arching.
You picked up the pace, slamming down on him harder, which in turn made izuku moan louder. You felt the fire in the pit of your stomach building up. You were right above his face so you were able to see all the expression of pleasure he was pulling. He even puckered his lips a few times as a way of asking for kisses, to which you gave him every time. His moans muffled against your mouth as his tongue desperately tried to taste you.
"Y/n- mnh- f-faster please! I need to cum. I want to cum so badly." He whined when he pulled back from the kiss, you felt his cock twitch from deep inside you as it abused that same spot over and over again. You watched as his tongue rolled out of his mouth, he was panting and whining greedily. You lifted one of your legs up and placed your foot on the couch beside him. Changing the position so you could pick up the pace.
Your thrusts got harder, faster, leaving your boyfriend and squirming, moaning mess under you. He begged for more for you to go faster. He wanted to fill you full of his cum.
You saw his hand come up to yours, slipping underneath so he could hold it, he needed to hold onto you as the intense heat kept building up. He knew he was going to come undone soon.
As you quickened your pace you could see him losing it more and more. "Fuck- ah. Izu~ right there." you moaned, squeezing his hand as your walls tensed up around him.
His cock was hitting all the right places. Sweat began to build up on your skin, your breasts bouncing with each thrust of your hips. His back arched and you knew he was getting close too. You could feel his thighs twitching and he buried his face into your neck.
"I love you so much. So so much." He could barely speak through his moans. His other hand grabbed onto your thigh as you rode him as fast as your hips could manage.
You watched as his head rolled back, his eyes wide as his fingers dug into your hips. He clenched his teeth tightly as a wave of pleasure washed over him.
He held you close as you orgasmed together. You rode him through the orgasm, moaning loudly as your legs shook at the intense amount of pleasure.
Hot ropes of cum spilled out inside of you, filling you up and once you came to a stop you pulled off of him, his seed spilling out of you and dripping down your thighs onto his stomach.
You collapsed onto his chest. He sweetly rubbed your hips, light traces from his fingertips trailed across his skin as you cuddled on the couch. His hands gently brushing through your now messy hair like you were the most delicate person in the world. You stayed that way for a while, pressing gentle kisses to each other's bare skin, holding each other close.
"We should really get cleaned up now." He said and you hummed in reply yet made no movement to get off him.
He playfully smiled at your lack of movements and with one swoop he pulled you into his arms and picked you up. Carrying you bridal style to the bathroom.
"What are you doing?"
He met your eyes, leaning down to press his forehead against yours.
"It's your turn now."
@birds-have-teeth @midnightmoonkiss @xxangelpridexx @sapid-rose @my-bnha-things
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i don't know if this is anon but i hope so, anyways, hii uwu, you're one of the best writers out there omg 😔😔 you inspire me so much but i'm not able to write omg, i've been wondering if i can make a request? if yes, i would love something sooo soft and fluff like first kiss with jeongin? omg i would actually melt if you will write something like that anyways, i love you and your masterpieces, i wish you the best because you deserve it uwu 💌
🥺🥺 you’re too sweet babe! this ask was drowning in my inbox i’m so so sorry.. finally i’m getting to writing this, i apologize for the wait! hope it is as good as you wanted it to be, muah!
you sat on your bed, head between your knees crying into your hands. the build up of pain and emotions finally getting to you and causing you to weaken. stress from school, your love life, family, friends was all adding over time and it was too much for you to handle. it was your final year of high school and you wanted to leave strong. hours of time wasted with your head in a textbook, reading and taking notes making sure you ace every test you get.
the build up of work started to interfere with your relationships, both intimate and platonic. you no longer had time to waste fooling around with friends, any free time was spent writing notes and studying making sure to not fall behind. it finally got to you when you realized you were beginning to lose everyone. locked up in your room all day and night.
the bags under your eyes darkened day after day, the lack of sleep visible to anyone who looked. it was all too much for your growing body to handle. which is where you are now, balled up on your bed crying into your hands for some help. wanting a second chance at your final school year, to focus on not only yourself but the people surrounding you everyday.
you sniffled, lifting your head and reaching out for your phone. shaky fingers slowly dialed for the one person you knew would answer, your best friend. the ringing played over and over, the anxiety of having to explain to him taking over your body. the dialing stopped, a soft voice coming through the speakers of your phone. “y/n? what’s up?” jeongin’s voice sounded confused for good reason. you two had barely talked over the last couple of months, just occasionally during lunch would you two talk instead of sit in silence.
“i- i, uh..” you froze for a moment trying to think of words to say. “could you come over, please?” you asked quietly, following your question with a sniffle. in a somewhat panicked voice he replied “yes, yeah sure.. of course, i’ll be right over.” you finished with a broken ‘thank you’ before hanging up. you placed your phone on your made bedsheets and took a deep breath. you changed out of your school uniform and into some comfortable pajamas.
time went by slowly as you waited in silence, staring at the ceiling until you finally heard a knock at your door. being the only one home, you walked over to the front door of your house opening the door to allow for jeongin to come inside. the minute he saw you his heart broke. he hated seeing you upset and your current state was worse than ever. he immediately pulled you into a hug without questioning you at all. you broke down in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder allowing him to hold your body weight.
he successfully tried to pick you up and carry you to your room since it seemed as if you couldn’t hold your own weight. closing the door behind him, he brought you to your bedroom and laid you down on the bed. he left momentarily but return with a warm mug of tea to calm yourself a bit and ease all anxiety.
“do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” you looked into his eyes, the warm feeling they always radiated making you feel comfortable. he stared back seeing your usual bright eyes glossed over with tears. “take your time, i don’t have anywhere to be.” he shot you a comforting smile, wanting to make sure you knew that you could always trust him with anything.
“i’ve been, i don’t know. it’s all been too much. i want to finish high school of right but it seems as if everything i’ve done so far has been wrong. i haven’t done anything but study for months, my friends have all stopped talking to me, hyunwoo broke up with me a couple weeks ago because i’ve been distant..” you took a deep breath breaking eye contact to let a tear flow down your cheek.
“i want it all back. my friends, i‘ve barely seen my family in weeks because i’m always locked up in this room. and you.. you’re the only person who stuck with me, and i still ignored you.” jeongin softly massaged your knee as you spoke to try and calm you down.
“it’s not your fault. of course you took things too far, but it was with intention of getting into a good post-secondary school and making a future for yourself. what you need to understand is, you don’t have to lock yourself in your room to study all day. we have classes together, come to my house and we can study together. you’re a smart girl, i know you are, hell you know you are.” jeongin’s voice was sincere, his eyes filled with love and support for you. he wanted what was best for you always.
“and as for hyunwoo, you don’t need him. instead of trying to comfort you and help you through your school stress, he left.” you nodded, staring down at your white sheets. you fiddled with the soft material between your fingers, taking in how much jeongin genuinely cared about you.
he adjusted himself so that his back was rested on the headboard of your bed, holding his arms out for you. “come here.” you listened and crawled over to lay in his arms. he held you close, his chin resting on the top of your head. arms tightly wrapped around you to make sure you knew he was never gonna leave your side.
he leant down and placed a soft kiss to your forehead. a soft pink blush covered your cheeks as he did so, a warm feeling rushing through your body. you turned so that you were now facing him. “thank you.” you smiled, eyes melting in with his. “for what?” he asked.
“for staying with me even when i was being a, well a bitch.” you laughed together for the first time in months. he hadn’t seen you genuinely happy i what felt like forever. his hands went to cup your cheeks, taking a minute to scan your face.
“can i, uh kiss you?” he chuckled softly with his question, not to wanting to come across to strong. you smiled at your best friend and nodded, “yes, i’d like that.”
his face turned a cute red shade before he leaned in and placed his lips softly on your own. it was brief, but the feeling of his lips against yours felt so nice. his hands still cupping your cheeks, making it easier for him to guide the kiss. he pulled back to examine your reaction to see the smile displayed on your mouth. he returned it before pulling you back in for a second kiss, this time it lasted longer. his lips taking charge of yours and deepening the kiss a bit. you followed in his motions moving in sync against his mouth.
pulling away you giggled before hiding your face in his chest. “hey, where did that cute smile go” he joked cupping your chin to force you to look at him. you felt embarrassed but happy, you hadn’t felt this way in a long time and it was so nice and warm. “you’re the best jeongin, did you know that?”
i miss him sm🥺
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5 - Trying: to notice more, react to less?
Ooooooof today was hard. I’m getting bored. And writing is pretty exhausting. Well, not the writing itself - once I get in a flow I feel great - but the stress and worry that clots before and after and during breaks of writing is suffocating. Even just now I couldn’t quite get that sentence right and felt a little nauseous. Don’t make me remind you that it’s probably a personal problem. I don’t handle stress well. At all. I don’t have that one figured out yet. I just know that when Crazy H and Mouth are both on my case at the same time it’s brutal. That was what happened today. I started writing on paper because I didn’t want to type how I was feeling (screens). I’ll retype it now with a few edits. I’ll put the edits in brackets [ ]
“I have to address how I let stress affect me. I’m not great at relaxing. [Crazy H has already, without my permission], started to [assert] this vague, undefined therefore unreachable expectation [on me for this writing stuff]. I do like how I’m starting to make it a habit to pay attention to things and and get my thoughts down, but I’ve started competing to outdo myself in every subsequent post. I’m in the mindset that I’m building towards something beyond the stated goal of writing every day until 2.29. I could change the goal, but I don’t really want to. It’s succinct, clear, attainable - as in not guaranteed to be met but able to met because it’s measurable.
I have been holed up in my apartment pretty much all month because I know I’ll spend money if I go out. And I don’t like going places alone anyway. And I think there’s a part of me that hopes if I get bored enough I’ll suddenly start being creative and unlock some hidden chest of talent. But another part knows that’s not really how it works. [Do people] end up doing great things [just] because they had the time on their hands to do them? Sure. Hell if I didn’t have the time on my hands I wouldn’t have stuck to my New Year’s resolutions FOR A WHOLE MONTH nor started doing this shitty online journal. The problem with my thinking is that I have no idea what may end up being a great thing. So thinking there’s an endpoint that exists where I’ll be like YEAH I found my inner [creative] genius I’m finished is extremely flawed and just naive.
I have to be… happy with what I’m doing now. Did I just flip and talk myself into trying to not try jesus christ.”
***Note - I panicked here and started pacing the room and talking to Hansel.***
“ - I paused to take this up with Han because I need out of my head. I’m wondering if writing does make happy. Does it just stress me out and that’s all? Should I quit forcing it? I know I’ve read a lot about how it can be helpful but I’m not sure.
If I’m just beating myself up about what I’m going to write next and constantly hating on what I do manage to [write]… maybe it just doesn’t suit me? Maybe I’m too much of a perfectionist or too unfocused to deliver a message with any real structure or write something that isn’t compromised by my own… madness?
If it’s not for me what IS for me? Well that’s a fuckin mystery. My passion and talent are on Heather’s Most Wanted List. Lifetime reward.”
***Note - At this point my head is pounding and I just breathe and do this anxiety technique where you hone in on your surroundings.***
“I’ve gotta have big windows where I live. Cities are dense here and my apartments faces an uncountable number of windows. I really don’t know how well people can see into my apartment. I get by by not crying and wearing a top at minimum. Everything I own is covered in Hansel hair.
Another question is do I let my thoughts carry me away or not? Do I follow the [many imaginary trails of my thought] or not? If I do so and write it doesn’t it mean I’m mind mapping and that’s good right?
Or maybe it depends. They (some people) say not to react to your thoughts and I’m like 1st what do you know 2nd control my thoughts all the time or some of the time?”
At some point my brain sort of threw up its little brain hands and let go of the reins (veins? lolol). I climbed into my bed and lay down so that my head dangled off the side. I let the blood rush to my head as I surveyed the upside-down version of my room, and remembered doing exactly this with an ex of mine years ago. I don't think about my exes often. I'm pretty at peace about it all. None of my exes were bad people. There were a lot of cringey moments, sure, and occasionally I'll get a sharp stab of regret or embarrassment (which happens no matter what part of my past I'm reminded of) but mostly it was long enough ago and involved a Heather so unrecognizable to me now that it I just get to be grateful (I see what you did there Ari) for them, for the impact they had on my life, the lessons they taught me, and the roles they played in shaking up the trajectory of my life.
Those thoughts passed out of sight pretty quickly. I felt my headache ease and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again it was with a determination to hold onto that relaxation I'd found. I put on some meditation music, pulled my yoga mat down from the top of my closet where I have to keep it so Hansel doesn't chew on it, and lay down.
I focused on my breath. Told Crazy H and Mouth to go to their rooms. They drug ass, trailed their fingers over the wall, bent to fuck with their shoelaces, mumbled about how stupid meditation is and that it doesn’t work. Eventually they got quiet and I started to drift in and out of consciousness. A little bit of sunshine fell on my face and made me sleepy. I ended up moving from the yoga mat to the bed, not really feeling better, but sedated enough to nap. So I did.
When I woke up I was calmer. Not sure if I'd had a mild panic attack or what because usually I can't talk myself down that fast.
I got the idea when I woke up to try writing about myself as if I'm part of my own story. Rather than writing about my opinions, writing in minute detail about my actions. So I wrote this little bit about the bed and the meditation and then nap.
I'm still in bed now. Supremely bored. Crazy H is worried I'll zone out like I do and not remember my actions well enough to write about them in any interesting way. I do have a shit memory lol. But MAYBE I could learn how to... fuck idk how to explain it rn but let me give an example. I just ran my hand over my inner wrist area because I have a problem w eczema (especially in Korea) and I always check to see if my skin there feels dry or rough. I've been told not to touch but who actually listens to that. Another example: when I'm in bed I sometimes try to force myself to sleep on my back bc I think it's better for my posture and causes less wrinkles, idk if that's true but I ended up internalizing it at some point and now it's just there even if I usually end up on my side anyway.
So like... rather than a running commentary on the world, I want to try a running commentary on myself, but really light on the philosophizing. Just face value Heather. Writing about myself like I'd write about a character going through a story.
Idk how it'll work yet but it may be more sustainable (and fun?) than whatever the hell I found myself doing in posts 1-4 and earlier today lol. I can just make notes throughout the day so I don't forget, then I can combine them all. Doesn't have to be an analysis of the notes or anything, just a chapter of a story.
I think what precipitated this is that I watched a TED talk on horror films and got excited that the speaker ended up saying that exactly what I love about comedy/humor is something that can be found in horror, too. Horror is art, too. The speaker, who is adorable but talks with way too much spit in his mouth ugh, says of horror: “It creates community, it creates connection, it makes you think, it makes you recognize patterns, but it brings us together.” And then I was like ohhh my god I’m going to forget he’s an actual doctor that took years and years of research just to reach these conclusions and I’m going to write a thesis on the connection between comedy and horror and find my life’s work in identifying a way to expand on this. I got too excited and freaked out. I LOVE comedy and I love horror. I love the unifying element of both. And I love looking for ways to see just how far that unification reaches. Is it only funny/scary to a few? To a certain culture? To a certain age? My mind just took the fuck off, and it’s still itching to now, because this is an extremely exciting revelation for me.
I’m fried so I’m ending here. Crazy H doesn’t like how I end most of my posts but I just told her to shut the fuck up lol. Over it.
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