#OK BUT IT SUCKS SO MUCH CUZ IM ALWAYS USING WORDS NO ONE EVER ACTUALLY USES

[spinster-sisters]

Crush. PSH, JYN

TW: dom! Seonghwa, sub! Yunho, sub! Reader,threesome, exhibitionism, degradation (use of the words slut and whore), bondage (male receiving), Sir kink, overstim (kinda, idk how much counts as overstim but im putting it here anyway), excessive use of the word wet, panty kink, buldging, k so heres the deal, in this thing yunho has a crush on both the reader and seonghwa and seongwha is probably also attracted to men based on the way i wrote this but there is no actually mxm interaction PHYSICALLY, also fun fact at no point anywhere in this is there the letters Y/N cuz i have decided i hate that shit and istead u get excessive pet names.

WC: 4k

AN: this is 4k words of pure smut, like plot if you SQUINT right at the begnining but even that is pretty smutty. ngl its prettyy shit. im sorry lol. also this isnt specifically idolverse or nah, it could kinda go either way so thats that i guess.

Yunho had always had a crush on you, that much everyone knew, but when you and seonghwa began dating Yunho had decided to put his own feelings aside out of respect for both you and seonghwa. Maybe it worked for a while, a few months of being genuinely happy for his two friends finding love. Yeah, it was hard seeing one of his best friends get to touch you and talk to you in the way he wanted to, but the smiles that never left either of your faces were well worth it.

But then that night came.

He hadn't meant to see it. All of your friends had gone out to a crowded club, there was dancing and a lot of drinking. But with all the chaos of the night, nobody noticed when you and seonghwa slipped into the bathroom. A while later Yunho found himself needing to pee and made his way to the back of the club as well, but when he pushed open the door all thoughts of his original plans had left. There you were, spread out on the counter, chest heaving, tiny drops of sweat making their way down your neck. And there was seonghwa, standing between your legs slamming his hips into yours and a brutal pace, absolutely RUINING you. His back was to the door and your eyes were screwed shut, Yunho had only opened the door just far enough to see in so neither of the two of you had noticed him yet.

Yunho's first reaction was to close the door and pretend he hadn't seen anything, but he couldn't move, not once he heard the filth spewing seonghwas lips.

"My baby girl got so needy she needed me to fuck her with all of her friends around? What a little slut"

That was the first thing Yunho heard, and then whine that the words pulled out of you was damn near-pornographic, and it went straight to his dick. He only stood there for a few more moments before closing the door, but the damage had been done.

Did you guys fuck like this all the time? It felt so wrong, the perfect lovey-dovey couple Yunho had come to know were hiding such a dirty side to themselves.

Ever since that night, nothing has been the same. Yunho's thoughts of you turned more and more sinful than they had ever been, but there was something else. At first, Yunho thought it had just been the embarrassment of seeing such a private moment, but Yunho was now having the same amount of trouble meeting Seonghwas eyes as yours. Every time Yunho's mind drifted back to that moment Seonghwas figure was just as clear as yours, and although he didn't want to admit it, it was seonghwas words in the bathroom that made Yunho hard.

And that is how Yunho had come to discover that he had a crush and not one, but both of you. And almost every time Yunho took time to relive himself all he could image was seonghwas sharp and defined features manipulating your soft and supple ones into increasingly compromising positions, his calm voice eliciting those same desperate whines from you.

He knew this was fucked.

Yunho doesn't know at what point seonghwa became aware of his infatuation with himself and his girlfriend, maybe he had noticed him in the bathroom and chosen not to say anything, maybe mingi had told him one night in a slip of the tongue, maybe Yunho had told seonghwa himself while drunk. Either way, it all lead him to this moment. He was sitting in your bedroom with his back pressed into a wooden chair with seonghwa standing behind him binding his wrist together with a soft scarf you had lying around.

You sat on your bed observing the scene. This had all been seonghwa's idea, but you were more than willing. That being said watching your perfectly composed boyfriend secure the taller boy who had been stripped down to his boxers to a chair facing your bed was enough to have your face burning in the chilly room.

Seonghwa finished with the restraint and made his way in front of Yunho, who was already damn near star-eyed. Seonghwa reached out and clenched the man's jaw, forcing his eyes up to meet his own.

"Remember Yunho, you are here to watch. Not to touch. No matter how much you want to," seonghwa spoke in that calm domineering voice he reserved for moments like these. Yunho nodded eagerly as well as he could while his face was still in seonghwas grasp, his cheeks puffing out a little at the pressure.

Seonghwa let go of his face and ran his hand once through the younger boys' hair approvingly before both of their gazes fell on you.

You had been waiting patiently in the sweetest little lingerie set you could find. Seonghwa was still fully clothed, but he had a thing about having you look as pretty as possible before fucking you so hard you cried. With both of their attention now firmly on you, the cold of the room couldn't seem any further away, and with every step, seonghwa made twords you, you couldn't help but clench your thighs together in anticipation.

Finally, he stood before you, looking so beautiful it was unfair, close enough you could reach out and touch him. But you didn't, you knew better.

Seonghwa gave a wicked smirk at your sweet expectant face. The stage was finally set, and it was time for the show. He looked contemplative for a moment, before deciding on his first move.

"Lay back for me, baby"

You did exactly that, allowing your head to hit the soft blankets. Never breaking eye contact, however hard it was as your boyfriend looked ready to absolutely devour you. Careful not to block anything from Yunho's view seonghwa slowly climbed onto the bed on top of you using his hips to keep your legs in place and his arms coming down to cage your top half. He moved his head to your ear and spoke in his smoothest softest voice.

"Remember to be good sweetheart, we have a guest and I don't want to waste time punishing you tonight."

You whimper out a quiet "ok" before seonghwa placed a soft kiss on your temple. And he didn't stop there, your boyfriend only pulled back for a brief moment to observe your flushed face before diving back in.

Seonghwa was organized and neat in most aspects of life, but kissing was not one of them. His kisses are hard and wet. His exceptionally plump lips forced yours to follow his lead, prying your mouth open, nipping, and sucking at anything he could. Wet was the perfect word to describe it. Wet and amazing. Normally you would have waited for permission to touch him before swinging your arms around his neck pulling him closer but when his tongue found its way into your mouth toying with your own you needed someone to ground yourself.

To your surprise seonghwa had no objection to this instead threading his left hand through your hair pulling your head close as well, letting out a deep grunt in the process. His lips began to travel down to your neck and jaw, and now the sloppiness turned a little rougher. Seonghwa took a small break to speak, barely lifting his lips off your body but his voice still carried loud and clear.

" Don't hold back your sweet little cries, I'm sure Yunho would love to hear them"

Your mouth now free to cry out little by little at the way the cold air made contact with your now burning skin every time he moved. He was covering your skin in small red patches that would surely turn dark purple by tomorrow. You braced yourself on his shoulders when his lips came to rest of the swell of your chest. Seonghwas right had found its way under your knee lifting it a bit and caressing the underside of your thigh. You had finally become used to the sensation of his mouth on your body when he bit down. Hard.

You damn near choked. You threw your head back as a deep whine spilled sinfully out of you much louder than you intended. But it wasn't just you that was making noises, a deep guttural groan could be heard in harmony with your own from across the room. It was only then did you finally dare to turn your head to where Yunho sat. And you almost wished you didn't. The tall boy sat as hunched over as he could be, positively panting with desire his eyes staring, unblinking, and where you and your boyfriend were tangled together. Your eyes locked, Yunho was staring at you with so much hunger your heat throbbed, and your thighs clenched together. Seonghwas words cut through the tension bringing your attention back to him.

"My baby is so eager, looking so pretty as wrapped up for me. Just waiting for me to pull her apart."

You instinctively nodded.

"Yes, please. I'll be good I promise" you pleaded vacantly, still gripping your boyfriend for support. Seonghwas's right hand began to slide its way up the underside of your leg before moving around till he was palming the inside your leg.

"I know darling, I know you will"

A knowing smile graced his lips before he unhooked the clasp on your pretty bra, sliding it down your shoulders. You held your breath as he pulled himself back to sit on his heels still caressing your leg dangerously close to where you were currently making a mess of your nicest panties.

Seonghwa would never admit that he had a panty kink, but seeing you laid out for him in nothing but the thin little soaked scrap of fabric was scratching an itch that he didn't even know he had. He just had to take a moment to appreciate it.

Seonghwa turned his head twords Yunho. And speaking in that same clear strong voice.

"Yunho"

The boys eyed shaped up to meet seonghwas. Yunho, aside for the occasional moan or groan and been relatively silent up until that point. He looks at seonghwa expectantly. Your boyfriend sighed. Shaking his head for a moment.

"Yunho, when I talk to you I expect words." As he spoke seonghwa tightened his grip on your thigh, you let out a tiny moan. Yunho's eyes flashed to your thigh for a moment before realizing his distraction then flying back to seonghwas face. It was like he couldn't get the word out fast enough.

"Yes?" The word tumbled from his lips haphazardly.

"Yes, what?" Your boyfriend responded, clearly unamused, a scowl making its way onto his face.

Yunho visibly panicked, eyes darting around the room quickly. He didn't know what he missed. He looked at you for help. You knew what he missed, but you had no way of telling him.

"Umm," he began, still searching for the answer. Just when seonghwa looked like he was about to cut in a look of realization hit Yunho. He remembered the night not too long ago that he had come home from dinner, expecting the house to be quiet only to hear a specific word scream from your lips as he passed seonghwas room.

"Yes, sir?" Yunho asked, his eyes wide and pleading.

Seonghwa couldn't help his look of satisfaction.

"Good boy,"

The words made Yunho's face light up.

"Now Yunho, what would you like to see?" Your boyfriend asked. This question clearly took Yunho by surprise.

"Come on, I know you have been imagining me and my doll doing all kinds of things," as he spoke his hand finally slipped inside your panties. Two cold fingers sliding between your folds. You shudder out a gasp. You were wet, unbelievably so. It took so little for his fingers to slip through your slick, toying with you like he had done so many times before.

Yunho momentarily lost his focus on seonghwa instead looking at the imprint of his hand through the fabric. He looked starved. But his eyes returned to seonghwa once again.

"So, what is it. What was your favorite thing to imagine when you touch yourself." As he spoke his fingers began to make slow tight circles to your clit. You moaned out again and grasped wildly for a moment to ground yourself against the blankets.

Yunho once again looked at a loss for words, this time unable to peel his eyes away from the dark stain in your panties and the forearm connected to the hand in them.

Yunho licked his lips slowly before tearing his eyes away to look at seonghwa. He spoke slowly, his words were shaky but certain.

"Please, just fuck her. Hard, like you, always do." He looks embarrassed by his choice, but your heart leaped at the idea, you wanted seonghwa inside you right at that very moment. He was slowly working you into an orgasm and he had barely even done anything yet.

"Really? Is that all you want?" Your boyfriend asked. "No special requests?" The circles on your bud speed slightly as he spoke. Your legs began twitching with every stroke. You had been so wound up this whole time that along with every jerk a small whine was seeping past your lips.

"Please, just," Yunho took a moment to gather his thoughts " please, I just want to see what you both look like when you ruin her."

Seonghwa looked at the boy pensively for a moment.

"Ruin her?" Your boyfriends intense gazed finally made its way back to you "that I can do" and almost exactly as his sentence finished your first wave of orgasm crashed over you. You were now spilling whines freely and rocking your hips into your boyfriend's large hands. You closed your eyes tight for a few moments. Before thinking about the exchange that just took place. Ruin you? Seonghwa was a serious man when he wanted to be, and if he promised to ruin you, you knew he would. And honestly, it was a little scary.

Finally, you opened your eyes. Your boyfriend had been watching you through your high, not stopping his hand and now that you were coming down a dull pain replaced began to radiate up from your core. You reached down to grab his wrist

"Wait. Please-" you began to plead, looking into your boyfriend's eyes, but your words were cut off.

"Well, Yunho. If I'm going to ruin her I'm going to have to prepare her. Wouldn't want her to break" you whined at his words as his hand began to speed up once again over your extra sensitive nub. He then glanced over at the boy who seemed just as transfixed by your pleasure-filled face as seonghwa. "unless you want that"

"Please," was all Yunho could force out "I just want to see"

Seonghwa finally pulled his hand out from the ruined fabric. Despite the numbing pain that came from his handy work you were already missing the sensation and your hand on his wrist tightened again.

Seonghwa let out a sigh.

"Sweetheart, how am I supposed to let Yunho see what I can do to you if you still have these panties on," he asked in a disappointed tone. You reluctantly released his wrist.

Seonghwa finally found the time to pull his sweater over his head, tousling his hair in the process. Now it was both you and Yunho gawked. It was something both you and Yunho had seen a thousand times, but there was still something awe-inspiring about the way he looked kneeling over you with his bare golden honey skin on display.

If seonghwa noticed the stares he didn't address them as he moved to pull your ruined panties down your legs. The anticipation was clear on Yunho's face as the wet fabric slowly made its way down your legs. Finally, he pulled them off the tip of your toes. Because of you and seonghwas position, Yunho still couldn't see your heat. To your surprise, seonghwa stood up quickly from the bed. Your panties still between his fingers. He looked at Yunho.

"You want them?" He asked letting them dangle from his hand that was still glistening with your juices. Yunho choked out a "yes, sir"

Satisfied with his answer seonghwa walked over to the man, leaned over him, and slipped the fabric into his bound hands.

Your boyfriend then returned to you on the bed, but instead of climbing on top of you, he sat down beside you.

"Open up baby"

It may be a bit late in the game, but you were finally coming to terms with what is happening. Yunho, one of your closest friends is about to watch you get fucked by your boyfriend, you had to look away from the man at the sudden realization. Slowly, you opened your legs and you heard the sharp intake of breath that could only be from Yunho.

"What do you think?" Your boyfriend asked pulling your legs apart even more. You shut your eyes tight, feeling embarrassed.

"It's pretty" was all Yunho could Say. You flushed even deeper.

"I know, isn't it? My baby has such a pretty pussy" you choked.

"Open your eyes sweetheart, I want to look at you"

Slowly you opened them, still keeping your gaze firmly on your boyfriend's face.

"No need to be embarrassed sweetheart. You look so cute" seonghwa said in a coo.

Seonghwas hand slipped further between your legs, spreading you open for Yunho to see. You couldn't help but sneak a glance at the man. He was almost drooling, as he licked his lips.

"She tastes amazing," seonghwa says dipping a finger into your still sensitive heat. You felt yourself twitch.

"Normally I would spend hours eating her sweet little cunt, but that wasn't what you wanted to see" seonghwa spoke with false regret. Honestly, Yunho looked right now like there was nothing else in the world he would rather witness but everyone knew he had already made his choice.

Your boyfriend finally decided to push 2 fingers into you all at once. You whined out at the sudden intrusion.

"I have to get her ready first, I hope you don't mind" seonghwa spoke with a chuckle. Because no, with a view like that how could Yunho mind watching your boyfriend's two long fingers push in and out of you over and over again each time bringing a little more wetness out of you.

At this point you were gone, the pleasant stretched of the familiar fingers moving inside of you was like a mantra pulling small noises from you like a song. Seonghwa was brushing the inside of your walls oh so perfect if was unfair.

"She is always so wet, pulsing around my finger with so little work. What a little slut." Your eyes shot open with a moan at his words. His pace quickened. With your still heightened sensitivity, you already felt your stomach tighten.

"Oh. Do you like that? Like it when I call you my slut?"

"Yes, sir"

"Do you like being a little whore for me?"

"Yes, sir"

"Do you want me to fuck you in front of our friend, just so he can see how much of a slut you are?" At that, you locked eyes with Yunho across the room.

"Yes please sir, please show him how much of a slut I am for you" Yunho lurched forward for the first time, his dick straining so hard against his boxers it must be painful.

Seonghwa leaned down to give you a quick kiss on the forehead,

"Good girl"

Finally, seonghwa focused all his energy on bringing on your next orgasm. Pressing deliciously against that special spot inside you while his thumb returned to your pulsing clit. You were already so far gone that it only took a few more direct strokes for you to come tumbling down once again.

This one lasted much longer than the first. And once again seonghwa prolonged it as long as possible by not stopping his hand once throughout the whole time. The pleasure came on waves, washing over you with so much intensity it was all you could do to keep moaning so loud the neighbors could hear you.

Finally, when he pulled his fingers out you took a moment to catch your breath. But it wasn't long before it was stolen again by seonghwa sticking each finger in his mouth one at a time a sucking them clean, never once breaking eye contact with the boy in the chair.

"Hmm, sweet" was all he said, before standing from the bed once again and undoing his belt. Seonghwa pushed his hair back before undoing his jeans and pulling them down his legs. At last, he stood in nothing but his black boxers. If you weren't struggling so hard to keep your eyes open after your climax you would have ogled but Yunho's hungry eyes were wide and fixed on the impressive size of the tent in your boyfriend boxers. Seonghwa spared him a glace before chuckling.

Your boyfriend turned completely to Yunho and pulled down the boxers as well. You knew what was there, so you understand the feeling Yunho was having to lick his lips like that. Yunho's arms once again lurched forward.

"Remember, no touching" was all seonghwa said before turning back to you. He says down on the bed beside you once again

"Come sit on my lap baby,"

You almost groaned. You felt like you could barely move and you would much rather he take you just as you are, but you know better than to fight him.

Seonghwa positioned you both facing Yunho, so he could have the perfect view of you both.

You tried to keep your self as steady as possible as lined himself up under you. Your muscles protested as you held yourself up. Finally, seonghwa took hold of your hips and pushed you down onto him all at once. The two of you both let out a satisfied groan. Your pussy felt used and abused but at that moment all you could think about was how nice it felt to be full. Your head fell back onto your boyfriend's shoulder almost immediately.

"Awe, do I make you feel that good, baby? You like it when I fill you up that much?"

"Yes, sir, I love being full. Love it when you fill me up." Your words were slurred together but loud. Seonghwa, using his grip on your hips. Helped you lift yourself only to be pulled back down again.

"Holy fuck" Yunho spoke in a quiet tone, watching where your boyfriend's dick was now disappearing inside of you.

"Don't use that kind of language" seonghwa spat out while staring to set a fast and deliberate pace, his focus instead on fucking you to tears.

"I'm sorry sir, it's just-" he seemed to be at a loss for words. " I can see you in her tummy"

At that seonghwa chuckled again. He took your hand and lead it to the spot on your stomach you could feel him inside you.

"I know, my baby is such a slut she isn't satisfied until I fill her up this much."

All of these words were filtering in and out of your ears but all you could focus on was the feeling of seonghwas dick moving inside of you. You were so sensitive after two orgasms not so long ago that your body felt utterly spent but every single time seonghwa trusted up into you felt like you could cry at how good it felt. It hurt, yes it hurt, seonghwa was big, that's why he spent so much time working you up, but even with that, you could still feel him stretching out your wall in the most delicious way. Every time he pushed all the way into you could almost cry at the sensation, not to mention how he rubbed against every spot inside of you in the perfect way. You were a mess of whines and cries and tears.

"She's crying" Yunho spoke in a shaking voice.

Seonghwa brushed your hair away from your face, looking at the tears streaming on your face. Your boyfriend placed feather-light kisses against your cheeks where the tears streamed down. A stark contrast to the brutal pace he was drilling his hips into your cunt.

You were clenching madly against him and he couldn't help but chuckles, though it was now somewhat airy as he was nearing his own climax.

"You gonna come, baby?" He asked.

"Mmhmm" you whined, head still rolled back as he fucked into your relentlessly. You were so close, every time he pushed back into you you cried out wanting him to make you come so fucking bad.

Seonghwa took told of your chin with one hand and forced your head forward making you lock eyes with Yunho. He looks almost as fucked out as you probably did. Forehead sweating, chest heaving, dick twitching. The sight made you clenched down hard.

"Who knew my sweet little baby, want people to watch her get fucked like a whore." you clenching tears streaming down faster than ever. The hand not holding your chin found your clit and once again began rubbing slow but rough circles onto the bud. You were so full and so close, and knowing that Yunho was seeing you like this, looking him in the eye while seonghwa fucked you almost made you come.

"What do you think Yunho? Should I let my little slut come?" He asked pinching your bud and delivering a particularly hard thrust. You gagged on the drool spilling from your mouth.

" yes, please sir, please make her cum!: Yunho almost shouted, looking crazed.

"You heard him slut. Cum."

And that was all it took. You were shaking and writhing on top of your boyfriend, head and eyes rolled back and your eyes saw stars. Waves don't even being to describe the way pleasure was moving through your body.

"Sir, it feels so good" was all you could say between the cries, and yes you were crying for real now. Short of losing consciousness, you were gone to the world. Lost in the feeling.

It took you several minutes to realize that seonghwa was still fucking you. But once you did you jerked painfully.

"No, no please" fell past your dry lips. As you moved to sit up. But seonghwas had kept you in place.

"You're not going anywhere baby, I still haven't cum yet and I am going to right in your little pussy."

It hurt, and you were crying, but all you wanted to do was be a good girl for seonghwa so you stayed put, letting him use you. You looked up at Yunho, your eyes glossy, mouth hanging open, probably covered in bruises as you always were when seonghwa fucks you.

Yunho moaned out, straining against the fabric keeping him tied to the chair.

At that moment seonghwa finally came. You could hear his groan through his chest and feel the cum spilling into you. Nice and full.

With a few more thrust seonghwa finally stopped. Allowing you to rest a moment before pulling you off him. You collapsed into your blankets. Feeling moments away from sleep, but you kept your eyes open. Seonghwa took a moment before standing pulling up his own boxers before moving over to where Yunho sat panting. He looked down at the boy and laughed.

"You came untouched?"

"Yes sir"

#ateez smut #seonghwa smut #yunho smut #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez au

[pixie-cocaine]

ATEEZ Reaction To: Having a wet dream about you

yourusernames: Omg can I request ATEEZ reaction to having a wet dream about their friend? (Who would start developing a crush, who would want to have a one night stand and who wouldn't care at all?) Thanks!!

A/N: These reactions are based solely off of what I think they’d do, I am in no way, shape or form, telling you that this IS how the members would handle this scenario. Like shit, I dunno the guys :/. This is a gender neutral reader reaction btw :)

(This is very explicit, you have been warned!!!)

Hongjoong ♡:

• It felt like the actual thing

• Your lips; sweet like pink lemonade and eyes staring into his with a soft sparkle that originated from his bedside lamp

• but what felt more real than anything was you

• Your scent, your taste

• Your touch...

• It was all overwhelming in the sense that he found himself breaking out of his dreaming state, breath heavy as if he’d been sprinting for hours, and a lusty sheen screening his mind from acting with any sense of rationality

• He was horny horny, dawg 💀

• I feel for that man, it’s tough...

• He could already tell that he had an...accident, before he pushed the duvet off his body due to registering the last couple twitches of his restricted cock in his shorts

• No wonder he could ‘feel’ everything so well

• He wasn’t able to sleep the rest of the night.

• Couldn’t help but begin to feel a crush blossom for you

• As y’all already know, the man gets attached to the ones he spends the most time with

• You’re no exception

• Would end up telling you about his feelings. It was eating him up inside to keep it to himself

Seonghwa ♡:

• He has no right looking this good, dawg. It literally makes me so mad lmao

• Lemme lick your face, I bet it tastes like expensive concealer and everything I’ll never have >:}

• Anywhore

• He felt feverish, even inside his dream

• It was odd; he could feel you, but he couldn’t feel you. He remembers the surreal sensation of warmth under his palms as he grabbed onto your bare ass whilst you bounced you on top of him, panting hard and clutching at his damp hair to pull his head back

• He groaned, and just as he went to switch positions, he was snapped out of his dream

• Was like “Fuckin pardon?” when he realised where he was; his empty bed, alone in his own room, no sign of you

• Frowned, pushing the covers off of him because dawg, he was heating up OwO

• Then realised the large wet spot at the front of his sweatpants

• “What the...”

• Was never the same™ 

• Everytime he saw you, he couldn’t help but feel that same heat in his hands, and he felt guilty about it. 

• Didn’t know how to approach you about it at all. What was he supposed to say?

• “I nutted in my pants because I dreamt about doing the dirty with you”

• Just wouldn’t bring it up

• Good chance he’d catch feelings. Seonghwa builds bonds with the people he knows, it’s very easy to tell that when he cares, and he would care dearly for you. Once the chance that anything intimate between you two arises, I’m sure he’d begin to think of you romantically once you’re shown in said light.

Yunho ♡:

• Now wouldn’t a flustered Yunho be a sight? Damn...

• He loved looking down at you

• The way you smiled at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling his bare chest into yours as you whispered how good he felt inside you, cooing out words of praise and encouragment 

• It was hazy, but he can still vaguely remember how you kissed him so sweetly. How your fingers smoothed his bangs away from his eyes, and how you moaned into his ear softly with each thrust

• It was only when you cupped his cheeks and spoke, did you break him out of his dream;

• “Wake up.”

• His eyes shot open

• Only a blue ceiling stared back

• “Mmm...?” Yunho sits up and rubs his eyes roughly, already aware of the blush that paints his cheeks and nose because he can feel the heat in his face

• Said ‘What the fawk 😃’ when his brain caught up with what he just experienced, as well as the stickiness that clung to his inner thighs when he moved to go get some water

• This bitch was contemplating his whole life after that

• Is ‘UwU’ with you from then on cuz a babie caught butterfwies ;(

• Rlly bad at hiding his feelings lol, you’d catch on eventually

Yeosang ♡:

• It was messy, to say the least

• Kitchen island sex? Yup :D

• The dream wasn’t at all put into play with any sense. You guys were just... in the kitchen, when you confessed your feelings and made a move on him

• A deep kiss mixed with the pounding of nervous hearts all put Yeosang in a fever outside of his dream

• “Say you like it,” You panted, using the hand on the back of his head to push his forehead against yours while the other kept you from laying onto the island

• “I like it.. Fuck, I like it”

• “Yeah?” His hips stutter when you clench your walls around him, and in turn, he lets out a choked-off gasp

• “Y一Oh my god一Yeah...”

• Damn... he was FEELING it lmao

• Funny thing is that he slept throughout the entire dream and woke up only when his foot did a little mid-sleep spasm

• Stared at the wall while frowning for soooooo fucking long

• Whole time he said ‘ya know wot, that’s real interesting 🤔’

• Then was like “Prolly just horny 😃. oh well, time to change my underwear”

• And that’s what he chalked it up to in the end. Would maybe make a joke about it to you next time y’all hung out if he’s feeling loose enough and doesn’t mull over it for too long

San ♡:

• HEATHEN

• Hold on, lemme get a half-assed feel for the man... yes... mm-hm... ah, I see... OK!

• So, from what I can tell, San would distance himself from you slightly. Maybe. 

• That night, as he lie in his bed, breath coming faster with each motion that went on in his head, he saw you in a way that he never thought would happen.

• Skin, slick with sweat and eyes like burning coals as they focused on him. There wasn’t much to remember before it was already fading, but he could still make out how much his stomach lept and spun, heart oh-so thunderous in his chest. Whatever you did with him in the dream... it sparked something inside him.

• San was in a daze as he woke up, his body not quite cooperating with him when he tried to sit up, and instead, falling limp with the next couple of attempts.

• WHEN I TELL YOU THE SOUL WAS SUCKED FROM THIS MAN AISDIUBFADEBI-

• Really just stared into space with the look of a dead man

• What did he do when he finally saw you again?

•  ✨ pretend he didn’t see shit ✨

• Not the masked uncomfort-

• Depending on whether you’re one for confrontation, he might just cave if you press him about his weird behavior enough, but be fast, because I’m sure he could push his feelings down succesfully if he tried hard enough.

Mingi ♡:

• Dude... the fucking happiness of the dream...

• Silly giggles when you’d accidentally bonk eachother while switching posititons, bright smiles when you stared at eachother after a long time, random compliments, and nothing too serious that you couldn’t find playfulness in. Even when you’d both stop smiling to let out small moans and feel the moment together, it was always lighthearted.

• FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK IM SO ANGRY-

• It was some shit you’d see at the sundance ;(

• Then he woke up-

• You were the first and only thing he thought about as he gained conciousness. He wanted you... you, you, you, just you.

• He’d never wanted anything so bad. A sudden longing that made a lump form in his throat and an overwhelming feeling of how much he’s always wanted you.

• So, like Mingi does, he strived for that goal >:D

• He made an effort to see you as many times as he could and whenever you were free to hang out. And finally, one night when you both lie in his bed and gazed thoughtlessly at the ceiling, he told you.

• “I had a dream about you, you know.”

Not me basically making a summary of a could-be fic-

Wooyoung ♡:

• Now believe it or not, this bitch is hard for me to get a grasp on. All I can say with confidence is that he has the sex appeal of a milf stripper and is kinda stubborn-

• Hmm.... bothered.

• That is the feeling it would pull from him.

• Hungry; frequent patterns of warm breath against sweat-slicked skin, mumbled curses past wet lips, nails dug into his stomach deep enough to draw blood yet barely acknowledged through animalistic films over both your eyes, and teeth furrowed into the flesh of his shoulder as you scratched at the blank canvas of his back.

• It was all raw sexual aggression from both sides. So much so, that you both practically fought during it.

“I hate you. I hate you like you don’t even know, Wooyoung,” You speak, breathless, and reach up to weave both fists into his hair, “I love you so much that I fucking... hate you.”

• Then...

• Gone.

• Just like that, the dream was replaced with the sight of familiar bedroom walls as Wooyoung opened his eyes, a sigh escaping past his lips when he finally pieced things together.

• “As if I wasn’t already stressed enough...,” He murmurs, staring down at the new stain on his sweatpants.

• From that point on, it’s a new habit for Wooyoung to catch sight of you and keep his gaze there; just staring when you’re not looking, and feeling terrible afterwards. He feels like he violated you somehow, and with that ball of dread in his stomach whenever he sees you, he becomes distant.

• It’s not catching feelings so much as it is a new desire.

Jongho ♡:

• Jongho, Jongho, Jongho... whatever will we do with you?

• Upfront about it, surprisingly.

• He caught feelings. How could he not when you’re one of the most breath-taking people he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing?

• That face of yours, along with your voice so soft and encouraging in his ears, was enough for him to cave.

• “Just like that, baby... Just like that.”

• He doesn’t even remember the details of the dream. Just your words and kisses, which still make the touched skin of his body heat with excitement whilst he blinks down at his hands.

• He clenches them; one, twice, then lets them fall back to his sides. He doesn’t need to look into his pants to know that he’s soiled himself.

• He feels kinda... empty? After the dream. Lmao just as exhausted as San was, really, but both at the fluttering his heart when he thinks of you, and the dream itself, so cleans himself up real quick before going back to sleep. 

• The fluttering doesn’t go away the next morning.

• So... he tells you :D

• As soon as you walk through the door, holding a bag of snacks and drinks for preparation to crash at Jongho’s apartment for a little bit, he sits you down on the couch, much to your confusion at the serious face he has.

• “I know that this kind of thing can ruin friendships and I don’t want that. At all. But, I had a... dream, about you last night and now I can’t really stop thinking about you...”

• Not the pounding of his heart making him dizzy :*

#ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #Smut #kpop reactions #idol reactions #idol reader

[aprettyweirgirl]

To your red lotus prompt.

Izumi is hurt bad but the fire nation uses water tribe healers now so she has a long but steady recovery.

What Lin has the most trouble with is the Ursa by a twist of fate gets a scar on her face that is identical to lins.

Lins nearly has a break down thinking that this is somehow her fault.

Extra angst: Ursa makes a comment of "now Im ugly! One of the ugliest people ever!" Which Lin is heartbroken by.

Un-angst: Ursa says: "ok. Well good now no one will question I'm your daughter ever again!" And Lin is hit right in the feels.

URSA GETTING A SCAR, YES. Not sure if it would be identical to Lin's but more something like this:

(under the cut cuz this turned out longer than i expected lol)

we are gonna pretend i don't suck at drawing for 5 minutes ok? also yes, that's supposed to be her right eye

You decide which one: in the first one Ursa loses her eye. in the second one, she scar goes from her left eyebrow through her nose to her cheek (do u know what i mean???)

Ursa was always told being a beautiful woman, which she is, and since a child was taught, by her moms to be confident of herself but walking around the palace with a scar in her face and everyone turning to see her doesn't help at all

She wanted to convince herself of not being ugly, but she failed

Ursa wanted to hide the pain she felt due the wound (it stills bandaged), because she thought her family would think she's weak, but after a week, it really started to hurt really bad and she decided to go to her grandfather, Zuko, so he'd help her

The pain, both physical and emotional, the princess feels is so much she actually thinks it'll never stop (even if its been only a week) and Zuko knows how to deal with this, because he saw it before, in a young-self and in Lin. They have a pretty day together, Zuko helps a lot, but in purpose, not enough. he says Ursa should ask for her mother's help too

When Zuko leaves, he reaches to his daughter-in-law and says "your daughter needs you"

That same night, Lin invites Ursa to play pai-sho with her. She doesn't know how to bring it to the table, so after a couple of minutes, she says "so, how you've been holding up?" and that seems to work

The situations are completely different, but the feeling is basically the same so as Ursa goes opening up, Lin isn't quite sure what to do but she starts to see more of herself on her daughter and the question of "what i would have liked my mother to do" comes up

They have a deep ass conversation and at the end, Lin says to Ursa"you shouldn't care how you look like, don't need to look for anybody's approval because you know who you are" The exact same words Toph said to her when she was a child

To not making it any longer, Lin stills feel guilty for not coming at the right time and for not being able to avoid all this, but helping her daughter to accept and be confident of her new reality it's a good start

in conclusion: Lin is the greatest mom ever and we need to protect Ursa at all costs cuz she baby

#lin beifong #izumi's daughter #ursa ii #linzumi #lin x izumi #not really but yes is Linzumi

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon #honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics #i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop #the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one #long post #discourse #catholicism tw

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

#long post// #i would like one free ticket to pop off please. thank you #can i cash it in immediately if you dont mind

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

[nnq]

types of gays: dr3 edition

shuichi

bi king

makes trans gay emo moodboards on tumblr despite not even having a boyfriend

never posts selfies on his social medias because hes self conscious, its all overedited photos of him holding a cigarette up to a gray sky or a cup of black coffee or some goth shit

when he eventually does post a selfie he gets a bunch of thirst follows from straight girls n twink chasers alike

rantaro

the guy in your high school you were like 90% sure was gay but also seemed too attractive to be so

snap stories always full of random people you've never seen before and a billion different food aesthetic pics, travels too much cuz their family is rich

listens to those white gay artists and cries over carly rae jepson being a 'gay icon' when drunk to the point where its obnoxious but its forgivable because hes hot

kaito

claims hes masc4masc after repressing his homosexuality for years, falls in love with a twink and has an existential crisis

somewhat transphobic out of ignorance

also somewhat homophobic

used to do coke

closeted from his friends

assumes hes the top when in relationship with said twink, goes through enother crisis upon discovering he's a switch. he vagues about it for weeks on his insta selfies

kokichi

said twink

"im not gay, im a faggot"

flamboyant gay by day tumblr funnyman by night. mutuals with shuichi probably.

will call you slurs without your permission and will share your trauma openly while youre still around

super sexy but not worth the effort

brags about sugaring in the past but is physically disgusted by older men

claims theyve been arrested for public nudity, but it was actually just shoplifting 800$ of makeup from sephora

korekiyo

weird guy who's in all your advanced college classes, probably gets really excited when talking about their multiple snakes or taruntulas or something and will get super offended when the other person responds negatively and will tell them to kill themselves but in fancy words

mentally ill bitches rise up

will casually bring up their past drug addictions and trauma after like a week of knowing you because theyre and introvert and don't have friends

probably a sex fiend

listens to the front bottoms and has string lights in their room

will suck your dick in a public restroom and then tells you that he doesnt want to see you anymore

gonta

bimbo

friend of one of your homophobic rich friends

OK think of the tension between one gay and another gay who know that each other is gay and kind of hot but none of their friends know that theyre gay

actually very sweet guy but you will NEVER know that because your whore ass decided to have a one night stand with them after only you get piss drunk and you've been avoiding them ever since

he deserves better than you and you know it. hes never going to love you.

kiibo

nerdy enough in high school that it isn't obvious if theyre a twink or just a super awkward straight guy. its pondered once and then never comes up again.

grindr with really unflattering photos, cant give head

parents were too supportive of him growing up before he even had the chance to come out and now he bitches about them to anyone who will listen, not realizing the privilege of All That

probably kind of racist

never plans meet ups in advance, will ask to come over and show up 20 minutes later slightly stoned and get offended when they get told to fuck off

only friends with girls, probably is scared of dogs

ryoma

the best friend gay

can pass as straight, not super involved with politics or anything

rehab centers/AAA. no I will not explain myself the druggies will know what I mean

you will slowly fall in love with him and theres nothing you can do about it other than lean into it and hope that this years in the making unrrequited crush doesnt absolutely destroy you. I also won't explain this.

the bad boy with a kind heart trope hits real different.

makes smoking look sexy, and he considers it his greatest flaw and constantly is trying to knock the habit.

probably repressed but if he got drunk it would come out.

#danganronpa v3 #i had... how you say...... a very tasty and needed glass a wine before writing this. and. #i am absolutely right about every part of this and i know it. fuck you. #drugs/ #f slur/ #oumota #kokichi #kaito momota #shuichi saihara #korekiyo #ryoma hoshi #kiibo #gonta gokuhara

[flowrxchild]

🌼Get To Know Me Tag🌼

Thanks @satans-helper for tagging me!!! This is gonna be a long one so if anyone feels it’s necessary, please tell me to shut up! oke doke les do it❤️

1. What’s your middle name?

Olivia!

2. How old are you?

20, very cool and very funky years..

3. When’s your birthday?

January 8th

4. What’s your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 🐏 also an Aries rising, Libra moon if anyone cares lol

5. What’s your favourite colour?

Rn it’s yellow!

6. What’s your lucky number?

Ok I rlly gotta pick one soon cuz I just don’t have one lol

7. Do you have any pets?

Used to have a chubby brown lab but she was an old girl:( BUT recently I have fed a stray cat enough for him to come back everyday so he is now mine by Ricky Law™️

8. Where are you from?

Toronto, Canada baybee

9. How tall are you?

5’5

10. What shoe size are you?

7 and a half? I think?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Not that many like 5 tops lol

12. What was your last dream about?

Last night I dreamt about going horse back riding?? I woke up like ...she’s a horse girl, I knew it..

13. What talents do you have?

I can draw/paint?? Also I’m a pretty snazzy photographer

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I’m definitely intuitive...I’ve experienced some very strange coincidences in my life...

15. Favourite song?

Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Chile

16. Favourite Movie?

Moonrise Kingdom

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

*stares in Josh Kiszka yearn*

18. Do you want children?

Erm not sure yet

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol I want whatever the opposite of a church wedding is..

20. Are you religious?

Nope.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes. I’m so clumsy I am a danger to myself at this point...

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

No I’m literally a baby chicken and will cry if u raise ur voice at me

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not formally? I’ve seen a lot of random celebrities just walking around tho cuz I live in a big city

24. Baths or showers?

Showers, practically but I love me a good bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Im not wearing any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ;-) Sam Kiszka tease ;-) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

26. Have you ever been famous?

One time my painting was put into a community art gallery and they took my photo for the local newspaper except they made the centre fold of the page fold into the picture around my face so it got all distorted and it was like when Mike Wazowski was in the Monsters Inc commercial...

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not rlly..

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock, folk and indie but I will listen to anything

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. Me and my friends do it every year as a cottage tradition!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3...I need to be snuggled AND supported

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I don’t sleep unless I curl up into the smallest ball possible like a friggin cat

32. How big is your house?

She smol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Literally just coffee most days. I love anarchy

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. Don’t have the desire to either.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I have not but I’ve always wanted to!

36. Favourite clean word?

Cozzy

37. Favourite swear word?

Cunty but like as an adjective

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not rlly sure...probably only a day. I’m a very sleepy person

39. Do you have any scars?

Yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret ;-)

41. Are you a good liar?

No not at all. My face gives it away so badly

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I like to think so. My first impressions of people tend to be true.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Ya but not well ahsgag

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think I do, but my family from the states always says we have the stereotypical “Canadian accent”.

45. What is your favourite accent?

I loooove Irish accents. I find them very pleasing to hear!

46. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T to be precise

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My prom dress I think? I got it a Free People for 90$ and at that store, that’s a steal...

48. Can your curl your tongue?

Yeth

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

If this is referring to my belly button then, innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Ew ya

52. Favourite food?

Ok my fave food is also my fave foreign food and it’s Indian!

53. Favourite foreign food?

^

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy...ITS CAREFUL CHAOS OK?

55. Most used phrase?

I really am not sure...

56. Most used word?

probably ‘like’. Yes I’m gen Z, yes I have trouble articulating my thoughts. And what about it???

57. How long does it take you to get ready?

I need at least an hour...I like to plan

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so??

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

If you bite lollipops, you’re in jail now, I don’t make the law.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, I’m the funniest person I know.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes, funny you ask, I’m not only the funniest person I know, but also North America’s greatest entertainer!

62. Are you a good singer?

No! But I will preform for myself and the spiders living in my room. Yes, we exist!

63. Biggest fear?

Losing the people I love, being trapped.

64. Are you a gossip?

No yuck i hate it.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

this is too broad and difficult but The Witch. It’s spooky and dramatic.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t rlly have a preference...

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably if I try really really hard lol as a Canadian, this is a good road trip game

68. Favourite school subject?

Art or English!

69. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but something about makes me anxious

71. What makes you nervous?

I would really love to find something that doesn’t make me anxious. Let’s start with that.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No! I find it comforting sometimes actually

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends. I hate confrontation so I only do it if it really matters...

74. Are you ticklish?

Ok I wanna know who isn’t! Like whomst is not ticklish??

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I hope not...I would feel very stinky

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

If by authority you mean telling my sister to get out of my unassigned-assigned spot on the couch even though my voice cracks a little as I do it causing her to laugh even harder, than yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes. *police sirens grow closer*

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I have done a weed or 2. Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

My neighbour lol

80. How many piercings do you have?

3! My ears and also my cartilage! Used to have my septum, but it caused me too many problems so i let it grow over :(

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Ya!

82. How fast can you type?

So fast *spongebob voice* wanna see me do it again?

83. How fast can you run?

I would probably be the first to go in a horror movie

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing substantial.

87. Do you keep a journal?

Ya I do!

88. What do your parents do?

My mums a school secretary and my dads a fraud investigator

89. Do you like your age?

U know what, ya..I can’t complain.

90. What makes you angry?

Injustice and rudeness

91. Do you like your own name?

Ya I don’t mind it

92. Have you already thought of baby names if so what are they?

I mean I have names that I like but it’s not something I write down so I always forgot lol

93. Do you want a boy or a girl child?

I really couldn’t care less

94. What are your strengths?

Physically, I’m a sack of bones with the upper body strength of a new born baby but I like to think my sense of humour makes me tolerable *finger guns*

95. What are your weaknesses?

I am one frightened human bean.

96. How did you get your name?

Tru story: throughout my moms whole pregnancy, everyone including the doctors were convinced I was gonna be a boy because they could never get a clear look at me in the ultra sounds so my parents had only picked out boy names until I was born to which they changed their choice of “Eric” to Erika :))

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not at all lol

98. Do you have any scars?

Did I already answer this one? I think I did?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

White with pink floral pattern! (From ikea lol)

100. Colour of your room?

It’s an off-white

Ok I wanna tag these lovely beans @pe2chie @turntonightfirelight @camomillacatalina @witchgoddess @blackdressedtinyone 💗💗💗

#tag game #get to know me tag #ty!!

[treehoes]

Ok so I saw Hamilton today (4-4-18) on broadway and here’s like a lil review of how amazing it was

•Alexander Hamilton- I was going through so much shock that i was actually there I don’t remember much but the placements of all the characters during the “me? I _____ him” was spot on

•Aaron Burr Sir- The guy playing burr made burr so sarcastic it was great

•My Shot- This is probably my least favorite song but like the bros™️ were hitting the table with cups and their fists and it was so cool

•The Story of Tonight -Very low key bros being bros drinkin

•The Schuyler Sisters- The “and Peggy” was so like hey what about me it was great. Also those girls are phenomenal like wish I was half as talented

•Farmer Refuted-I’m pretty sure thayne Jasperson was the og Samuel seabury and he’s on point like Hamilton was all up in his face and he just pushed ham away and moved his box in front of him

•You’ll Be Back- Ok so king George was a great singer but he sang kinda annoyingly and I thought that really portrayed king George

•right hand man- G-wash was so great honestly and the ensemble in this song was so awesome and on point

•A winters ball- Reliable with the LADIES

•helpless- Lexi Lawson is very different from Phillipa soo but she’s so talented and absolutely killed it also Hercules as the flower girl was the best creative decision ever

•satisfied- Um ok so like actually shook Mandy fricking Gonzales is so talented like at the part at the end she not only killed it, she stabbed it 27 times and drop kicked it to mars like it was a mouth drop open and they redid everything from helpless perfectly 11/10 one of the best parts

•the story of tonight reprise- Drunk Lauren’s is the best

•wait for it- Ok home slices you know how much I went off on how good satisfied was well, this was 100 times better. Burr was better than Leslie Odom by a lot he was the best in the show

•stay alive-There were British soldiers in the background it was cool also Charles Lee was funny cuz he’s a general WEEEE

•10 duel commandments-Laurens, who has just shot someone: fuck ya I just shot that bitch fuck him.

Me: I’m so proud of you

•meet me inside- Ham: im not your son

G-wash: that sound fake but ok

•that would be enough-Again, Lexi Lawson slayed as eliza like she was pregnant and still killing it

•guns and ships- Lafayette was mega fast like I know all the words to that song and I could barely understand what he was saying but he was still great

•history has its eyes on you- G-wash gave ham a sword and when he put it in the holder it made such a nice noise

•Yorktown- I love big group numbers like this the choreography was on point. Right before herc entered they were waving redcoats and he burst through them and it was awesome

•what comes next-King George went im so blue and all the lights turned blue I just really like that part

•dear theodosia-This is my favorite song on the soundtrack and I wish they did a bit more with it onstage cuz they kinda just stood and sat and that was it

•the part where Laurens dies that I can’t remember the name of- Ok this was so sad but herc and Lafayette were up on the top part with the same letter that eliza was reading to ham and I didn’t know that they did that and it made the scene a lot more sad

•non stop- Ham is so extra I love it. They had chairs to represent ham, john jay and Madison and they all faced backwards and when John jay got sick after writing five they flipped his chair around and they took away Madison’s chair when he only did 29 and Hamilton was sitting in the third chair and I just really liked the way they did that. Also when ham goes to burr in the middle of the night there’s a light that makes it look like burr is standing in a doorway and I just really liked that lil detail also non stop is the song that got me and my friend that i went with into Hamilton so it has a special place in my heart

•intermission- Umm pretty boring actually, 15 minutes of random dudes coming on and off stage making sure everything is ok, no singing or dancing 0/10 but here’s a photo of me at intermission

•what’d I miss- Ok so at the start of this, ensemble came out from different places and one of them came from the orchestra hole and I thought that was hilarious also this is 10x better on stage than it is on the soundtrack the ensemble was all on point doin their thing

•cabinet battle one- There was a mic drop and that’s all I wanted from this song and I got it

•take a break- Ok so Philip was great in this he was so nervous doing his poem and eliza was beatboxing like the true queen she is. And the beginning part made great use of the circle thing on the stage like ham was facing back when Philip and Eliza sang and then it circled him to the front and Philip and eliza to face the back I loved it

•say no to this- Spoiler, Hamilton didn’t say no. Also James Reynolds had a southern accent and I thought it was so funny

•the room where it happens- I said it once I’ll say it again burr was phenomenal like his lil dance was awesome this song blew me the fuck away

•Schuyler defeated- Idk what to say about this one except for I liked that Philip and eliza were on the balcony thing off to stage left

•cabinet battle 2- I love that these are rap battle but also epic rap battles of history is literally this cuz it’s a musical about history also when Madison said France it was so small it made it more funny

•Washington on your side- When they go OH the lights went big on the floor it was cool. Also “look at the bill of rights, which I wrote” I always thought Jefferson said which I wrote so since I started listening to Hamilton, I’ve had three tests/quizzes with a question on who wrote the constitution and the bill of rights and I always put Jefferson cuz of this line and I always got it wrong so fuck you hamilton

•one last time- I cried, g-wash was so good at the end of this song I can’t I want to hear him sing this every day

•I know him- When the lady whispered in his ear he was like what cuz like john Adams? That’s short bitch?

•the adams administration- Ham drops a stack of papers from the balcony and it hits the ground on a big beat and it was soo cool

•we know- Hamilton spills his soul out and Jefferson burr and Madison are like :o

•hurricane- I never really liked this song too much but The ham dude did it so amazing and the lighting looked like water and hurricanish

•the Reynolds pamphlet- Ok king George is in this and it’s the funniest thing ever cuz he’s all like I told you that you guys would suck and look! A very upper person had an affair

•burn- I’ve seen bootlegs of this song so many times but there’s nothing like seeing it onstage cuz it goes black at the end and all you can see is the fire from her lantern it’s beautiful

•blow us all away- I love Philips character cuz he’s such a kid and he’s great and talks a little fast

•stay alive reprise- I cried real hard during this, 11/10 death, would cry about again

•its quiet uptown- So sad lots of crying from the big tough looking guy sitting next to me. I really like how angelica narrates it I think that’s cute

•election of 1800- Ham: sad cuz of sons death

Everyone, chanting: choose you Bitch we’re incapable of doing it ourselves

But Jefferson did an I win dance when he was endorsed and burr was like wtf bro guess i gotta kill you now

•your obedient servant- When Hamilton writes a letter to burr it was 5 pages long and they had a different person deliver each page and the last girl had two and was doing a little dance to deliver them it was great

•best of wives best of women- Look at ham writing his note to next of kin, love your wife more she’s Lexi Lawson for Christ’s sake

•the world was wide enough- I cried even tho I knew he was gonna die. Hams part where there was no music was so dramatic and g-wash came on and hams Mom and Laurens/Philip it was so sad I loved it

•who lives who dies who tells your story

Thinking about this is gonna make me cry again but Hamilton was not in this number at all and I thought that was great cuz he’s dead but honestly fabulous way to end the show I’m shoooook

All in all it was a beautiful show, much more than I could have ever asked for. We had terrible seats but that’s ok cuz it’s Hamilton. The lighting and dancing and blocking was phenomenal I never really notice anything like that when I see shows but it was so good I talked about the lighting for 5 minutes straight and I don’t know jack shit about lighting

#hamilton #alexander hamilton #aaron burr #eliza schuyler #eliza hamilton #angelica schuyler #peggy schuyler #maria reynolds #james madison #thomas jefferson #hercules muligan #john laurens #philip hamilton #george washington

[alyjojo]

20 memories & isms I love about you.

1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰

2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)

3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆

4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.

5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.

6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.

7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.

8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.

9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.

10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.

11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....

12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️

13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.

14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.

15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.

17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.

18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.

19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.

20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.

I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.

#I love him with all my heart

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 2 - “The pair thing doesn’t leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA” - Madison

Ok, so I'm going to recap everything I experienced during this scramble as there is a lot to cover. Willow and I lost the tik tok challenge by 2 points which sucks so we have to go to the warzone now. The warzone is kinda cool. I get to talk to more than just willow which is cool. Everyone seems to like each other and for the longest time no one had a name. Sadly, Brandon shot himself in the foot and was voted out by everyone because he never spoke a word to anyone. I kinda feel bad for the guy but you know, atleast Brandon has 100% voting accuracy. That's kinda hard especially in survivor. I also forgot to mention that I have hit 2 spaces on the Battleship grid so hopefully I get an idol or advantage soon!

Tribal went accordingg to plan;BDC went in a 12-0 vote 😧 I hate first tribal nerves. But its over and Im good. I think i made good connections with people. Made stronger connection with Madison. We both love Dumbo 🐘. I got to talk more with Stephen and Matt so i think those are bonds i could use later on in the game or if I find myself in the warzone with them again. Cullan and Ian were pretty good and nice people. I got along with Ian a lot. Willow was a nice person, we just didnt get to talk a lot today cuz she had 2 finals today. I didnt get to talk with jacob or doodle. (But i already had Jacob as a friend so he is someone who i played with before but dont remember. Oop 🤭) overall iI think warzone this round was a positive thing.

i'm shook that we were safe from the tik tok immunity. i'm even more shook that we got second????????? in it. like what??? i literally was editing the video with like 4 (four) minutes to spare because my idiot ass partner decided last second to tell me that he wasn't able to edit it and tik tok wasn't loading on his phone. like? when were you planning on telling me this information..... anyways we won, so i guess i can't be too upset with him. warzone thing is dumb, unfortunately i was a part of another season monty hosted that has this twist and got screwed over by it hardcore, so shrug. i'm assuming the same thing will happen this time around because of how new all of these people are. i know barely any of them and i'm just gonna assume for the most part they know each other or are at least aware of each other whereas i'm like i know owen and stevie??? it's just one massive eyeroll. gonna just try to focus on not going to tribal though. if we did i would have zero issues voting tommy out. he's zzzzzzzzzzzz. first night of the game i like offered to call while we figure out who to vote, tried to get to know him, etc. he gave minimum effort, didn't want to call, didn't ask me anything about me or make any attempt to get to know me. so i have zero attachment to him which sucks because i feel like for the most part people are going to stick with their assigned sign partner. idk if it's just because he hasn't played a game outside of fb before and they all suck or what but girrrrrl he needs to step it up. i've been working on this puzzle for a minute. for a while i couldn't beat like 2:20~ but randomly got 1:43 and am gonna hope that that's a competitive score, at least good enough to keep us out of the bottom. tommy sucks and can hardly break 2 minutes after being very up front that WE ARE WINNING THIS. i told him i think my score is easily attainable so that he'd try more LMAO because i really don't wanna lose this early. i think my outlook on the game would be so much different had i not gotten stuck with a stale ass plank of wood for a partner.

I really hope Renne and I could atleast be in the top 6 and be immune. But being in in the top three would be cool only because we would see guardians of the galaxy. I got 2:27 and Renee around 2:46 i believe so we should be okay unless these people are monsters at puzzles.

Look I was going to try to do video confessions every time for this game but sometimes you look so bad the Face ID on your laptop doesn't even recognize you as yourself...and that's literally me right now. So text it is! Hey! I'm having a gr8 time. Such a fun game! To recap last round, I had SUCH a good TikTok plan and then Jacob and I are illiterate and didn't realize when the videos were due, so we lost. BUT I think that was a blessing, because we got to talk to people outside of our sign pair, which was really beneficial. At least for me it was. Talking to Renee, Ian, and Maynor was great, and I think I'd be down to work with any of them later on. Stephen potentially too, but he still scares me. Too much history lmao. Tribal was the easiest ever but I can already tell this is gonna be like Mongolia and Hogsmeade where NO ONE talks about the vote until the hour before, which is exciting, but also very stressful. I'm ready to be in a chat with more people in it though. The pair thing doesn't leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA.

We F*CKEN tied!! I just saw the scores and we only got 6th because I got a faster individual time than the 2 Tauros. I’m so happy that me and Renee could take a breather even if it is for one day. I really like Renee and I’d be down to work with her all the way to the end. Hopefully she feels the same way cuz we could be dangerous together.

Ya boy just found the fucking Topaz Idol, suck it bitches! This is the first idol I have legitimately found, I get nervous about having advantages though, I don't want to waste them which has lead me to be voted of with an advantage in my pocket before. I can use this idol to turn votes against me into votes for whoever I want which is beautiful, I hope to genuinely fuck somebody's day up with this! However, if I've found one already, you can bet your ass somebody else has found something as well. Let's see whose dick is bigger, whoever you are.

So far this game has been interesting. When it started I was SHOOK by the 12 tribes of 2. Definitely thought it was going to be interesting and potentially scary navigating how people get voted out. Then the first round was voting off a team right in the beginning just based on who is on it pretty much. When that team ended up being Nehe and Chips I was PUMPED because from a previous game Nehe and I did not leave things on the best of terms. Then one of them gets to come back. And it's Nehe. Great. I did not want to let that bother me much so I figured I would worry more about it when the time came to worry about it. Then the next immunity challenge happened and i truly did not think Owen and i would do so well because I am not normally good at these things and i am shook that we won. Owen's editing ideas were what saved us I think. So not only were we safe for that round, we also get to go to the oasis! And who else but Nehe is there too. I was initially dreading it because I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go. When we did end up talking he said that he has calmed down, matured a bit, and wants to put things behind us and move forward. I still am not sure if I believe it or not, or at least to what extent I believe it. There is always going to be the thought that he could be playing me due to our history. It's hard not to bring things from the past and carry them in the present and let it effect relationships with people. Seeing Kait in this game I was initially a little worried because I don't know what that working relationship is like. I haven't played a game with Kait in a long time but I do not know where we stand as far as working together. It will be hard to navigate but the reunion was nice to have. Another thing that is worrying me is Owen. Right now we are working well together in the challenges, I haven't had any problems with Owen in the past that I can remember, and we generally respect each other's existence I think? Idk I am just not sure what the relationship is between us two. We also don't really talk much being on this tribe together and I don't know if that's because we are kinda solid and we don't need to do the initial meeting each other and talking to build a relationship, or if because we are both content with how things are running and waiting for circumstances to change to actually start playing the game. It is hard with these teams of 2 as tribes trying to navigate how to play. With that being said, i also am unsure about what I should be doing in the oasis. I have been chatting lightly with people but I think it is too early to be strategizing with them. I don't want to play too hard and there is the possibility of not going to tribal council with these people for a while so the connections might not be worth my while to make. I am just unsure if I am being left in the dark about strategy this early on, or if I am getting paranoid over nothing because it is still a bit too early in the game for people to strategize with this game structure. Time will tell and I hope Owen and I keep winning while the game is still like this 

I am voting for Matt today. All of my decisions are arbitrary until this twist ends because nothing really has weight yet at all. Also, I feel like I can definitely trust the people who voted last time because there is little incentive to betray because the voting pool is so volatile. I expect relatively straightforward votes until we actually start playing Survivor. Ready for the casting portion to end.

I’m feeling pretty good currently! Being like just safe in the middle is exactly where I wanted to be in this game, although it js a little awkward not really being able to strategize right now. I feel like I’m really good with Adrian though and in a place that we can move forward as a pair. I really just wanna make sure I make the merge or til a swap or something because I’m really ready to do well in this game. But I wouldn’t trade safety in this game for anything at this point.

Hey! So, we lost the challenge again which sucks. Willow isn’t the greatest at jigsaw puzzles, but that is ok. Is losing a bunch is making us less of a threat and giving us more social connections with the rest of the game. I got the legacy advantage last night which is awesome. No one knows I have it and I’m not going to tell a damn soul about it. I heard Matt’s name thrown out so I’m going to see if that’s what everyone’s down to do. Everyone seems to like me which is great so hopefully my charm keeps me around for a while. Me not showing excellent challenge performance is also a bonus. I’m getting weird vibes from Nehe. He talks a lot which is why I tried voting him out the first time. He’s too fucking like able so I know he’ll be tough to get rid of. People need to learn to take their hearts out of the game eventually and learn to vote someone out even if they love having the person around. The longer he lives, the harder he will be to kill.

It has been good not having to stress over tribal today. I just hope that Matt B isnt going or anyone else that I talked to in the last warzone cuz they were cool and would like to have the possibility of working with them later on in the game. Update on idol search. I guess M4 and it was a hit and ive been trying to going around it but so far it has been 2 misses so far. I have M3 and N4 left so i hope that tonights guess at 10:05pm is a hit because this is the closest Ive been to finding something in these searches. I hope its something good for my game. I just hope no one has found this ship yet.

Well, another day another dollar I guess. I was really nervous that Timmy and I weren't going to do well in the puzzle challenge because puzzles aren't my strongest challenges, but we were able to pull it out once again and save ourselves. I am starting to get a little nervous about consistently getting 4th or 5th because we are still some of the only players in the game who have not talked to anyone but ourselves. Hopefully we are still early enough in the game that we can make connections with people down the line, but the more time I waste just sitting around the more nervous it makes me. I would never throw a challenge because lord knows that I love having immunity, but if we don't place in the top 3 for the next challenge we're gonna have to figure something out. Timmy is great but you can't win this game just by having one friend and one friend only.

So I had thought that the people from last round would stick together, but apparently some people are voting for Matt? I dont mind much, I’m taking a Sandra-esque “I’m happy to vote whoever as long as it aint me approach.” Might stop me over strategising

- - - - -

All that stuff about being Sandra this season? forget it. I’m back on my bullshit. Nehe wants an alliance with me, doodle, corey, and devon. But apart from Nehe I have barely talked to any of those guys. So im gonna try and make a counter alliance of Me Matt Ian Chloe Willow and maybe Cullan? If I tell them whats going on they might join me and vote out Nehe, or maybe doodles the better play?

- - - - -

Nevermind the nevermind all these people are like “Oh? A counter alliance to protect myself from an alliance without me? Nah i’m good, getting voted out is fun!” So screw them Im voting matt, see ya suckers.

Hello Did I mention last time that I’m ready for this weird twist to be over and for us to be normal tribes? Either way it felt nice to win and I’m glad I don’t have to go back to that warzone, but at the same time, I worry if we stay out of it too long we won’t have made any allies or friends through a tribal and that could be dangerous moving forward to a swap, maybe if we stay as signs for much longer I’ll mention that to maynor and see how he feels about throwing one hm

Top six is great top three is better but like....I have a feeling it’s the wrong six to be in rn. Those bottom six get to talk and strategize. None of that happens here in the oasis zzzzz I was thankful to get to talk to Kait twice that part was rlly good. Nehe and I had a little bit of a talk. Thomas is SO BORING ATO TALK TO tho hsjshdjd I was excited to meet someone new but omfg. He was like ‘I study math’ and I was like ‘omg I could never’ and he was like ‘well I can !’ PLS LOL So I’m kind of dying here but maybe it’s better to be safe. I’m just scared the game is moving without me. Idk I guess it’s early for that.

I think I forgot to write a confessional this round so far so...WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET 4th!! I know it’s only been 2 challenges but still. I usually hate social games but I’m dying to talk to at least someone who isn’t trace. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but this game is so boring so far just because I can’t talk to anyone. That’s really going to screw me over in the long run. At least if you fuck up in challenges you get to talk to people. It’ll make it easier for me to get voted off since I’ll have no connections so I’ll need to work my ass off if that time comes. Fuck.

fuck these bitches.   to start off,  i lost immunity by less than 2 seconds which SUCKS.  thought i had a decent time but i guess not Back in the warzone, theres a few people i was here with last time, including Ian, Stephen and Cullan which is nice.  Willow and Chloe are back too, but we didnt speak last time so i made sure we spoke more frequently this time.  Basically a group of Devon, Taylor, Corey and Nehe.  Stephen W let me know this was going on and he didnt want it to happen. So i started putting forth effort into targeting taylor, but then it made more sense to go for nehe because he is also the other solo in this game.   Now on PAPER it would make sense for me and Nehe to work together and have each other's back but clearly he doesnt care lol.  So i focused my attention to the people that seem like they really do wanna keep me (Stephen, Ian, Cullan, Willow, and Chloe).  I made my rounds, multiple rounds tbh and tried to make my best sales pitch to them.  Stephen, Cullan, Ian seem all 100 with me and im like 60% sure willow wants to keep me, but her responses are so delayed that i cant really get a good read.  Chloe is the biggest question mark for me just because its late for her and shes starting another org and has assignments to work on.  I want to believe that she would keep me because i expressed a lot of interest in working with her in this game.   As of now its 9:40pm which means 20 mins till my fate is determined.  I would like to think the 6  person group i got together can stick with me and keep me in the game, but i really dont know anymore.   I wouldnt be shocked if i left 9-1 tbh.  these people dont wanna play the game this early or work with me when i can easily be an extra number for any pair in this game.  I hope to god i stay because its been such a different experience and a new world for orgs, and i wanna stay and fight.  so fingers crossed i guess

It is 10 minutes to tribal and im nervous to see what happens. This 2 person tribe twist is really weird. I want to more people. I just hope is someone i havent really talked to. Hopefully the next challenge is something that me and Renee can be good at.

Okay so we formed an alliance named The Pact which is basically a temporary alliance for warzone where the trick is to throw immunity, go there together, and get someone who isn't us, outta the game. It was created by Nehe and involves him, taylor, stephen, devon and I. Am I honestly going to THROW IMMUNITY? idk. I don't trust taylor whole heartedly But I would like to work w him for some time. I have had info coming back to me making it seem as though he genuinely likes me so! kfnskdlgdslk anyways. Tonight, the vote is matt. I am terrified if it isn't. xoxo, gossip girl.

Behind the scenes of the vote last round that sent Matt packing, I was informed by Stephen that Doodle(Taylor) has been making alliances all over town.  That lets me know he is not a long term pro Ian player, conversely Stephen has won a lot of my favor.  I took that knowledge to Willow, as someone else that is supposed to be "working with" Doodle ka boodle I felt that she needed to be "generally aware".  I wish I would have also shared with Devon that knowledge but I didn't.  Doodle can think he is running the Warzone, I'll be quietly letting people know exactly what he is. A fake. A fraud. A man building himself up to be burnt and burnt bad.  I knew what he was from the moment he pm'd me with "omg lets be long term allies I hate tiktok too", buddy you can do the heavy lifting for now, I'll vote you out the second you stop playing in MY interest.  The trap I think so many TS players fall into is that they begin to think they're playing a single player game, you're not the only one with friends.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 8: “jay, I don't know who to trust anymore“ - Zest

Brianna

Okay Marie got voted out cuz Felix idoled Joey and that shit and I’m really upset about it. I think I just. Need to remain calm tho. I don’t need to freak out just cuz something didn’t go my way. I believe I’m still in a relatively good spot in the game and can still do some damage if I play my cards right. The only question is to who. The big targets now are Felix and Apollo in my opinion. How to get them out and remain safe is the question. Guess I have some thinking to do. Cya : ) 

Felix

I played an idol correctly for once in my life. This is actually the biggest gag of the century because it saved my ally and now I have at least some numbers left. Flint, Joey, and Lysandre are all numbers for me. I also think Boris is one too, but all Sumi people just rub me the wrong way. Next round will be interesting because we need to get rid of someone from Sumi because they are gaining traction quickly. Though, I doubt that people will remain loyal to that tribe alliance. I mainly want to target either Zest/Brianna/Apollo. They have got to go. This is an independent game, but I'm stuck in a position where I have to work with my old tribe. Yet, I can still gain the trust of Boris and Lysandre. I don't think I can EVER work with Apollo/Brianna/Zest. The latter two because I just don't talk to them enough. The former because I literally cannot trust his word. These three are the biggest threats to my game and they need to go. My order would now be Zest > Brianna > Apollo. My FTC could be with either Lys/Joey or Flint/Joey. All I know is that Joey is coming with me to FTC because he is the goat to end all goats.

Flint

WOW that tribal was wild. I did not expect Felix to have that many advantages. And that transparency one?! That really exposed me for flipping on our Tuai alliance. Just when I thought I couldn’t be any lower, here I am sitting in the grave I dug myself. Hope Marie keeps a slice of pizza warm for me cuz I’ll be joining her soon. 

Apollo

Ya bitch just found a motha fucking idol!!!! I’m fucking screaming!!!

zest

jay, I don't know who to trust anymore. I am a ball of stress. I want to stay in this competition. I need to figure something out. 

Felix

It is interesting to me that Lysandre chose Boris over me in the last round for immunity. To me that means he did not want me to ever win immunity in the first place. Thus, I must be a target for this tribal council which does not surprise me at all. I did, after all, just make a huge move and shook up the game so it comes as no surprise that people would begin targeting me. I do not believe that I can convince Zest or Brianna to vote my way, so there's no point in talking to them about the vote. I want to go for Apollo in this vote, but I do not know if I would have the numbers to do so. Honestly Flint can go now if he is so inclined, but we need to do something about this Brianna/Zest/Apollo alliance that I know is around. Apollo probably wants to take them to the end rather than Boris since they are major goats in this game. Maybe we should strip him of his numbers first before actually striking at him. Plus, Zest or Brianna would be a stronger pill to swallow for people to vote out. All in all, my plan remains the same though I doubt that without this immunity that I will make it much farther in this game. 

Lysandre

So the challenge is a chain reaction and I'm trying to set my list up to who I want to win vs who I Dont want to win. I mixed the Boris in at the top with the Taui folk.

Lysandre

My target for this round is Briana or Zest! And honestly even Apollo but idk about him yet. Lets see how the list challenge goes first. LysandreSo I put Felix as number two on tbe list so I cab show my trust to him and I think it worked out. ONG I FREAKING WON THIS CHALLENGE. AT final 8!!! I did that ugh my social game I love that whore. And the JURY voted for me to win it since there was a tie!! I am beyond ecstatic 

Lysandre

So winning immunity is both a blessing and a curse. It shows that I'm a little bit of a social threat as well as challenge threat and they see that now in how I was positioned on the lists (by thinking really hard about it lol). I also got the Jury's vote which says that between me and Boris they support me more which gives me more fuel to take Boris to the end of the game with me along with say Joey. I also came to the conclusion that it was Apollo and Zest who put me somewhere in the middle of their list or presumably under eachother and Boris which leads me to believe they are Sumi strong. I believe this is enough for me to try and target Zest this round. She's not playing the game for herself and she's in no way loyal to me. Apollo, however, seems to want to take me further than a few people so he can stay for now. All I have to do is cut out his ride or die Zest and I possibly take that spot. My eyes are still on Apollo since he has some sort of advantage and my eyes are on Flint who has this alliance with Brianna.. 

Lysandre

On second thought I may have to get Apollo out this round. He still has an advantage and is more of a threat than Zest. However, if he goes then Zest has to be next. My only concern is Boris and where his head is at the moment. I think it would be easier to get him to do Zest versus Apollo but if we DO vote out Zest Apollo is gonna be pissed and may turn on me. 

Flint

Well I botched another immunity challenge. That’s 3 for 3 now. No one has talked with me, and after my failed flip I’m getting paranoid I’m being voted out tonight. 

Apollo

Is Lysandre a politician? Do they think they’re Yul Kwon? Hell no! Because you’re about to get clockt in two rounds sweaty! I want them out so bad, I want them out now but I can’t.

Apollo

Idk if I’ve confessed since Marie Went  home but omg I can’t really complain about it, I’m not that mad! Lol. It’s upsetting the three amigos are still in but Marie was a bigger detriment to have in the game than Joey could ever be. I’m starting to consider working with Felix over Lysandre since I found out lysandre is in 5 alliances. And that’s more than I’m even in. BorisLysandre is amazing and i would die for them

Boris

So much is going ON. Marie was idoled out but i don't care bc I kinda wanted her gone anyway. Ive been at pride all weekend so I havent been able to be around much. Apollo is controlling as always. Lysandre and I are still a power couple. Felix is an icon. I forget flint and Joey exist sometimes. Brianna is ok. Zest is ok Jay had to threaten me to get me to confess so sorry this sucks lmao. Ill do better confessionals once pride weekend is over! LysandreSo it looks like the votes for Zest are coming in quite nicely and its going to be her. Apparently Apollo is sketched out by me and thinks I'm in the best position in the game... Ok??? You're right and all but ok??? You're too loud lmao

Felix

Alright so I hope the vote is Zest. Everyone is telling me that it is Zest or Flint. Apollo wants Flint gone. Everyone else wants Zest gone. It's a wild time. I'm just happy that neither my name nor Joey's name is being said during this round. It must mean we did something right this round to not be targeted as hard as we should be. Either way, I'll be here for another round unless I get idoled out, but that is unlikely to happen. Lys told me some interesting things today. Flint is heavily working with Brianna as a sort of duo that wants to make it to the end. This is interesting considering that Flint told me that he is the most distant with Brianna. I think Flint was lying to me, and he was just testing me with who I want out. If I had said the wrong name, then he would have begun targeting me this round. Luckily I already knew his relations with Brianna so I didn't say the wrong name. Though, that duo should be something to watch out for, though they are no present threat to me. This means that allegiances, the real ones, exist like this: Lys and I Joey and I Apollo and Zest Flint and Brianna Boris is the only one who I feel is an actual free agent in this game which puts him in a dangerous position for me. If he does decide to betray me, he can easily rally the votes against me. Though I need him at the present moment, so I cannot start targeting him. It is interesting to note however, I'm not going to stalk the idol hunt. It's too many outcomes for no rewards. Plus, I've already used three of them so I shouldn't have more. Good luck to me I guess.

Felix

Apollo is trying to vote out Flint which is still weird. He really seems to want to split the vote though which is super strange. I don't like how he is playing and I am just going to vote out Zest to keep myself safe this tribal council. Plus, she was totally @'ing me in the chat with her tribal answer which is fair enough, but that means the sooner she leaves the sooner I'll be safe.

Boris

Apollo thinks I'm still loyal to the f3 alliance of us and Zest but I personally like Felix and Lysandre more so uh oops. Felix and Lys want Zest out because shes simply just a loyal number to Apollo without any other game influence. And HONESTLY I agree so im voting Zest, but this is kinda cementing it to Apollo that im more loyal to others than him, so uh yeah Im scared !!

Flint

Tonight’s vote is a gesture to gain favor and trust back from Felix and Joey. I hate to vote for Zest but I need to prove my loyalty. But I think Felix has this game in the bag if he makes it to the end, which a lot of people are starting to realize. So it’s tough to balance a big move and lose Felix’s trust again or be considered a player that only rides Felix’s coattails and doesn’t play strategically. 

Felix

Apollo is going on and on about how Lys is secretly working the middle and that he's manipulating everyone. Let me be clear. It's obvious to me that this is what Lys is doing. I mean what else is he supposed to do? He has no Mea tribe members so he has to go and appease everyone on this tribe for a right to be in the game. Then there's Joey who believes Lys and Apollo are working together to take us both down which I don't believe. What I do believe is that Lys is putting his trust into me and is loyal to me. He's playing a fantastic game as of the moment, but I cannot get him out because he's a number for me. I need those numbers to take down Apollo. And then Boris. I just hope Lys does end up keeping me around because I'm placing a lot of trust in him.

Lysandre

So apparently there is a last minute scramble to trash my name on Apollos behalf. He revealed that I was in 5 alliances and is saying I'm a big ole threat since I was at the top of almost everyone's lists. I mean he's right but guess what baby boy I'm immune and your partner Zest soap is not. Lets see if you keep this same energy next round.

Brianna

Um so. I wake up from my 2 hour nap at 8:50 and now there’s a voting extension. Apollo told me he doesn’t know if people are voting Felix or flint. Flint tells me everyone’s name except Apollo’s was thrown out. And lysandre tells me they’re voting zest....I kind of...don’t know what’s going on....I wish Marie was here. She could’ve told me. So guess I’m voting? I don’t know. Felix? Might change in the next fifteen minutes 

joey g

So this round has been bonkers. I reached out to Lys and Felix because I needed to secure a trust going forward, but I’ve also reached out more to the Sumis as well. I really didnt want to vote zest, but felix is sorta running the show and I think that’s what Lyse wanted. Apparently its between Flint and Zest, but I cant say I feel comfortable at all

Brianna

Lysandre just told me apollo is targeting me...oop...

Brianna

Guess I’m trying to get zest out now! Lol 

Flint

I’ve heard that Tuai is using my name as a decoy which makes me really paranoid for tonight’s vote. I wish I had some security but that idol is so hard to find

[kaguraspetsims]

All the prime numbers from that ask post!!!

OH GOSH OK (please bare with me as i am so bad at prime numbers |D)

1. What is you middle name?

Shannon!

2. How old are you?

21, 22 in February!

3. What is your birthday?

February 11th!

5. What is your favorite color?

Blue! Usually blues mixed with greens as well (oh gosh i love blue so much * v *)

7. Do you have any pets?

I just answered this in the previous ask!

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Oh geez...I don’t know honestly? I still have pairs of shoes from when I was in eighth grade and i dont know if that would count...

I’ll just include pairs that I use currently that fit me - about...7 or 9? I think??

13. What talents do you have?

I’m an artist and a very good listener :D (if i have more talents then...im not officially aware of them |D)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Like...who or like...characteristics wise? Cuz I know someone who would probly be my ideal partner cuz ive known him for 4 years now but id rather not name him for fear of being found out :’D

As for characteristics, i like funny dudes that are also super nice and understanding about things ; u ;

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Yes! Being religious as I am, a church wedding is pretty much my only option (I think? Unless something changed in recent years |D)

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I actually met some really cool Japanese singers at AWA once! Granted, atm I cannot remember the name of their band for the life of me, but when I go upstairs and look at the CD I got from them I’ll definitely put their name here!

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope! I’m way to prude to do anything like that |D

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On one of my sides! I’ve never been able to sleep on my back or stomach cuz my arms get strangely numb >.>

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck ;D

39. Do you have any scars?

Umm...I don’t...think so? If I do I am completely unaware of them :o

41. Are you a good liar?

Depends on who I’m lying to lol. I can’t lie to my mom but I’m always ling to my dad recently (who wants to get in trouble for trivial things? Certainly not me ;D)

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

NOPE i am literally The Worst at accents |D

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I think honestly it’s a pair of jeans worth 40 dollars or something? I don’t wear very expensive things tbh >.>

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Very, although not as scared of them as I am of cockroaches. I can kill a spider, but I can’t kill a cockroach >.>

53. Favorite foreign food?

Yakisoba! It’s a Japanese dish with noodles, fried veggies and beef/chicken. It’s so good!

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Well, it doesn’t take me long at all actually. I don’t wear make up or do my hair, and I shower the night before I have important things going on. So all I have to do is throw some clothes on and take meds, which take all of 5 minutes!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

I suck on them until they are biteable |D

61. Do you sing to yourself?

All the time |D Especially in the car!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

NOPE and I live in the US :D We took tests on this in 4th grade and i never studied for it so i honestly couldn’t tell you all 50 states of America >.>

71. What makes you nervous?

EVERYTHING... I kid. My dad definitely makes me nervous, as does school stuff (tuition payments, assignment due dates, etc) right now my biggest nervous thing is talking with my Japanese semester partner @.@

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

I do but I do it out of habit ; A ; my dad is always correcting everything I do so I’ve learned to do it to other people and I really wanna kick the habit cuz it gets annoying to other people >.>

79. Who was your first real crush?

Ahhh my current and only ex actually (we’re on super good terms btw)! We met in an American Gov’t class and dated for 5 months my freshman year of college. It was my first crush ever >.>

83. How fast can you run?

NOT FAST AT ALL. I can barely walk quickly let alone run |D

89. Do you like your age?

I mean I don’t DISLIKE it...I don’t mind it? I dunno, I’ve never thought of...liking an age before :o

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I’m aware of, but I doubt any of them were :o

#not fr #this is so fun!! #feel free to send more ouob #michellesanchez1999 #ask

[vmgx16]

smol update on my life, im not sure why.. been so long since here, but sometimes i sit worried wondering how ppl i love but lost contact with are doing, always have this fear one day i’ll just never hear from some people again....  aaaanyway. Update. So i have been called several things several more times than expected, ppl say i have a mom like personality, and wow the amount of kinky i could get into surprised even me, specially with how much love and care is in it. 

Had gone through some pretty fucking awful times, me and two people i loved dearly and a friend spent months, maybe an year, in a sort of codependent hurricane of bad, we all suffered from really bad suicidal ideation, depression... it was a shitshow, but, still there was good moments, reasons why i loved them so much, and i knew they could get past it.... i used to not try to hope i would, id say id be happy enough if the two of them ended up happy, even if i died. Of course they said the same thing to themselves...  At some point i scared ppl too much and i was put into suicide watch. Psych obviously saw i was codependent, and it was either limiting my time being able to interact with them severely, or being put on the psychiatric hospital against my will. That time was not good. Had kinda put all the responsibility of their betterment onto me, but during a little bit i was actually in more immediate danger, so they were the ones worried over me... And, well, more complicated things happened, lots of them, i’m so glad we’ve all survived that.... 

It’d be a while before i learned something i had always seen wrong about empathy. i always valued it a lot... several times id try to define myself through it, and in some ways that hasn’t changed. But.. i had to learn that i could be there for others, help them, sympathize with them, but i shouldn’t forget that they’re them, and i’m me. Ever heard of vicarious trauma? i wouldn’t believe it was a thing a lot... i’d think it was me being selfish, trying to turn others’ traumas about me...  But, had same symptoms as trauma, having a word or a situation reminding me of certain things, id feel it immediately, at best a headache, somethings id be scared and panicked, and also things going over and over in my head, unable to leave, showing up in nightmares, also drive to retraumatisation, etc etc. It.. really sucked. It came from, when learning and attempting to help those i love, who had suffered from some really bad things, i didn’t allow myself to feel better than them, in my head id have to be just as miserable, since they didn’t deserve to be miserable, why should i get something better? So yeah, it was some kind of martyr complex, depression telling me i was an awful person often, and me trying to prove it wrong but the bar was beyond what my brain could withstand. i had to learn to put the O2 mask on myself before the next, i can’t help people if i harm myself while doing it. Ok that was a bit much... but.. good news!! We’ve met some amazing ppl lately, and our family is bigger. There’s.. this person who i feel about what id never expect id feel about anyone. Not at first though, it was real cliche how a misunderstanding, (and admittedly me not being the best, or smartest) caused me to kinda hate his guts really fucking hard for a bit. But like, i really dunno how id describe it, person i believe understands what i truly care about the most, and cared just as much if not more. We’re very oddly similar in some things, very very opposed in others, but even when i just can’t agree with him, we say arguments, debate points, and it’s just never destructive, it’s constructive. Of course, i had to learn a bit to get to there though, since, although ive always longed for being able to talk like that, he was some steps ahead of me when it came to having a personal method to do so. Oh, yeah, he is also a lot more intelligent than me, which really pushes me to become more intelligent myself every single day. My drive for self betterment has been better than ever in my life, i always did see i got better at things when there was someone who i wanted to see me succeed, but.. well, will just say it has been incredibly good for me

Oh and he’s so kinky!! It’s interesting, he doesn't even get horny that much, but he believes sex should be something way wayyyyy less taboo than it is in our society. Which, yes i totally agree with. Honestly though, some of the vicarious trauma stuff i said earlier, i thought there was somethings id never be able to see untainted again, some ways to express sexuality that would always remind me of certain horrible feelings, and im so happy i was proven wrong. 

Think i got ahead of myself a bit. I was saying how our family had gotten bigger. Well, the person i was just kinda fangirling about? He’s kinda the reason it did. Him and one of the people i loved met, and then both of them, and them they both were kinda into him a lot (that scared the shit outta me ngl XD), and there were people who already had met him, and people who both groups met mutually in this videogame modding community. My guess is that he has seen how so many servers you can end up meeting awesome ppl but also there are those who kinda try and play politics within, and how it was hard to actually keep these friendships along the time, and so he made a server for those friendships, and it slowly became a family. Gosh.. i could fangirl over each person in the castle for a long time...( oh yeah, server we call castle cuz he is into some medieval fantasy shit, which if you know me you’ll know that shit is my jam (like, fuck being called princess is still something that will get to my heart (although, usually nowadays i get more ‘slut’ or ‘queen’, not much in between XD ))) but one of the things ive learned is how to be more productive with my day, and like, i see now how long i’ve spent on what was supposed to be a very quick update. Seriously, that ‘smol’ up there was a liar. i’ll just say i love them a fucking hell of a lot, they’re snuggly, kind, smart, lovely people. And we all go through some shitty times still, being stronger doesn’t make us invulnerable, but we will support each other, and always get better at doing so. Sometimes it’s overwhelming.. and i get scared  First time in a long time... actually, since ever, except when i was too young to understand anything, where i can actually see any future i can be a part of. 

It’s funny, when i was actually a kid, what id imagine wasn’t too far from this, just well, i believed it was too fantastical to be real. (Although, id never foreseen, for several reasons, that it’d include me being a part of a harem XD which yes we lovingly call some of what we have a harem since most ppl are subby and he’s dommy, even when it’s not sexual CX)

TL;DR: i’m determined and more happy with where i am in life than i thought id get to be! Through good and bad waves, i may cry and fear, but as long as i carry with me the people i love in my heart, and i try to improve at every step, i know i can keep walking. And.. i do try to keep in my heart everyone who’s been important to me, even if i dont see them anymore.

#idk why i get scared over just sending a simple message #perhaps im scared our friendship was something i read wrong #i could speculate over what it is i fear.. but the most important thing is #shazim if u read this id just like to say that i do miss us being closer friends.. and.. well id like to know how you're doing #and no matter what.. you were a really good friend who id first felt like myself talking to #and even if we dont talk i just hope the best for you #<3

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat  so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them.  but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.


Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT  EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!

#episode #allmadhere