#OKAY I'M JUST GOING DOWN A MENTAL SPIRAL AT THIS POINT BUT I CAN'T HELP IT

[bluewhitehues]

//A perfect day leading to a perfect night. //

|oneshot|

Summary: You think your husband is hot when he's driving especially the way he's grabbing the steering wheel.

Genre: One shot, little bit fluff, slight implied smut,18+

Pairing: Jeon wonwoo × fem reader

(Idol/non-idol whatever you want him to be)

Warnings: very slightly 18+, MDNI

You were going back home,you both had randomly decided to go see the beach. You love it,the calmness of it. Walking hand in hand with your husband on the beach,enjoying the sunset, talking to each other, teasing each other is like heaven to you.

Wonwoo was driving and the sight ..it's tempting, it's hot.

Hands grabbing the steering wheel and were you wishing it was you instead? You totally were.

They are just so pretty you can't help it ..the pale texture of his skin, the rings on his fingers and those veins were totally not helping you right now. On the top of that he was wearing a dark leather jacket, looking so handsome with his glasses on.

"Take a picture"..he says smirking a little.. "it'll last longer."

"What?" You tried acting innocent.

"You've been staring at my hands for like 15 minutes now."

"So? Not my fault you're so hot."  You don't even hesitate saying it, you're blunt like that ...or shameless as he likes to call it.

"Yeah? am I? " He asks smirking

"Mhm you know you' are ..and that's annoying."

He chuckles at that and the low rumble again is not helping your situation.

"Ok exactly why were you staring at my hands tho I could see you were dazed ...were you thinking of something particular? " He's purposely doing this.You can tell that from the cocky look on his face.

"Yeah why don't you take me home first I'll tell you everything about it." You say eyeing him.

He chuckles again. "Babe we still have an hour left control yourself."

"Well I'm not the one who's provoking, you should not provoke me right now if we can't do anything about it." You say glaring at him. And you still find him hot, you mentally smack yourself.

"Okay I'll shut up for now." He says quietly driving now.

Few minutes pass and you're dozing off when he's calling you.

"Baby, you wanna eat something? You love the street food from here I can go get it." He says glancing at you.

You perk up hearing that, "food yesss I'm also coming with you let's go."

He chuckles calling you "cute".

And then you both go inside after he parks the car, him holding you by your hand.

He asks you what you want tho he already knows, you point at potato spiral and tteokbokki.

He buys that for you, you ask him to buy something for himself so he gets another tteokbokki.

You both eat it while leaning on your car. It's about to be dark, the breeze is blowing and your hair are getting all over your face while you're trying to eat.

Wonwoo notices cause you're standing so close anyway , he leaves his food on the car behind coming to you, tucking your hair behind your ears clearing your face, "now eat" he says looking down at you.

You smile big at him,"thank you." And then you're trying to kiss him when he pulls back. "We're in public what are you doing." he says looking around.

"And? You're my husband its perfectly normal to kiss we're not committing public indecency relax wonu."

He doesn't want to upset you, if you want a kiss you'll get a kiss. He looks around one more time before leaning down to kiss you. You smile in the kiss it's very gentle the way he's kissing you,his kisses are the best..makes you wanna just keep loving him forever.

He pulls back after the short kiss. "You're a brat ..let's go now."

You both finish your remaining food and get into the car.

As soon as you reach home he's pinning you to the door, going straight for your lips, one hand holding your jaw the other going to your waist slipping inside your shirt squeezing the skin there in his hands, making you gasp in the kiss. You're grabbing him by his neck pulling him closer.

You both are pulling back for a second catching your breath then he's again continuing with the abuse of his lips, teeth and tongue onto yours.

"Tell me-"he says in between the makeout session.."what was that you were thinking in the car." He bites your lower lip sensually.

He's looking right into your eyes and you're returning it with your own dazed eyes, both panting for breath while being only a breath away from each other.

"I was thinking ...how I wanted your hands, how I wanted you to grab me the way you were grabbing that steering wheel."

"Yeah?" He smirks.."like this?" He asks pulling you closer with his hands clutching your waist in a firm hold squeezing it in such a way it created goosebumps on each inch of your skin. You're practically glued to each other, his one hand trailing down slowly squeezing the back of your thigh roughly, making you go crazy ... hooking your leg to his waist pulling you up wrapping both of your legs around him. You tighten your hold on him, hands looped in his neck. He's driving you crazy, now holding you with his hands on your ass squeezing it.

You gulp looking at him. He tilts his head at you "Cat got your tongue baby? I thought you were going to tell me everything when I take you home?"

"I- yeah that's all I wanted to say." You somehow manage to say that.

He chuckles at you,"mhm let's get you to talk more.. I bet even the neighbours are gonna hear what you've to say." He says carrying you to your bedroom.

And well he did keep his promise got you to talk and use your voice in every way possible.

A/N: I REALLY HOPE Y'ALL WOULD LIKE IT. It's my first time writing something of this genre(I love it so very much) I might write total smut someday but not ready for that rn hehe.

Also if my bestfriend is reading this ..bro it's all my period hormones not me bye.

#jeon wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo × reader #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #svt wonu #wonu #jeon wonu #fanfic #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeenimagines #svt fluff #svt imagines #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen smut #smut #slight smut

[fandoms-writings]

For your requests, how about "You're not as bad as everyone says you are."  with biker!Bucky? Only if it sparks ✨ inspiration ✨ for you my love ❤️❤️

I know this prompt was under fluff but this turned out wayyyy more angsty than I intended - i'm sorry lol

Pairing: biker!bucky x reader

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: angsty, a look at bucky's internal turmoil, they're going through it right now, descriptions of the aftermath of the nefarious things bucky has to do but nothing too descriptive. bucky's really sad in this i'm sorry

Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist || Event Post

When Bucky had to do the unthinkable for the club, he had a certain 'ritual' to help him cope with it. 

You'd come up with it actually, something to help him not spiral into the self hatred that his actions could bring. Keeping his head above the sea of nasty words his self conscious liked to try and drown him with.

He'd come home, his choices from the day wearing down his shoulders, making him drag himself into the bedroom where he'd peel off his leather cut and toss it to the chair in the corner. Usually he'd sit there hunched over his knees for hours, stuck in a mental spiral, replaying the events from the day. Screams echoing in his ears. A stickiness to his fingers, his nails and knuckles stained red. 

But in times like this, when you weren't speaking to him, he'd remember what you would do.

You'd pull him into the shower, washing the day off of him before making him eat a sugary snack, something sweet to get the endorphins going again. Then you'd sit him down on the couch with the show he loved watching with you and you'd snuggle up to him, combing your hands through the length of his hair, scratching his scalp. 

He looked around the room, traces of you still there. Your necklace on the nightstand. A sweater discarded in the same chair his cut lay. One of your bandanas that you'd wear under your helmet tied to the bed frame. 

And your helmet. 

It sat out on the dining table, untouched in almost two weeks - since you went back to your place saying you needed time. 

He understood. You had every right to be mad at him, he just wished he knew how to fix it. 

But being late to date night and showing up a bloody mess is kind of hard to fix. 

So, he sighed, gathering himself before he stood and headed to the shower. He peeled his clothes off, leaving them in a mess on the floor while he got under the water - he would deal with them later, it was one thing at a time right now. 

With you not being here, he liked using just a little bit of the soap you'd left, it being the only way he got to smell you until you came back - if you came back. He stood under the water, watching the suds and pink droplets swirl down the drain as the look of disappointment on your face flashed in his mind. 

He hadn't meant to forget about date night, he really didn't. He'd just gotten roped into some club business, and when he tried to explain it to you, you shook your head. The anger in your eyes was unlike anything he'd ever seen - he'd never see you mad before and it'd frozen his feet in their place. 

"If this is going to work," You'd gestured between the two of you, throwing your bag over your shoulder, open, "you need to figure out how to balance club life and our life. I'm not going to be the girl waiting for you to come home in one piece, if at all." 

"I can't just not handle business when it needs to be handled," He'd argued, his tone rising in his heart's cry for you to put your bag down and stay. "I can't abandon the club when they need me." 

"That's not the problem," you pushed past him, "You didn't call, you didn't text. I was at the restaurant for two hours, James. Two." You turned and pointed to him, "You abandoned me tonight."

"I'm sorry, okay?" He followed you around the house as you gathered random things of yours, shoving them in your duffle bag, "I'll make sure to call next time." 

"Next time?" You spun on him, a look of bewilderment in your irises, "You're assuming there's a next time?"

Dread filled his chest as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Suddenly, it didn't matter what he was going to say. He just wanted you to stay, not to leave. Not to leave him. 

"Bucky I was left at that table, in the dress you picked out," You shoved a finger in his chest, "for two hours while you were off doing whatever it is that you do." Your hand gestured to the red stains on his pants. "And you'll never tell me what you're doing out there, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out it's dangerous." 

He waited as you took a breath, zipping up your bag with a huff as your shoulders shook. 

"I'm sorry," He muttered again but your head shook. 

"I don't care," You turned to him with tears in your eyes, "You can be sorry all you want. But I didn't even know if you were coming home at all tonight. Or if you were headed to the morgue in a body bag." 

It was that comment that punched him in the gut, and still replayed in his mind when things were too quiet. You weren't really mad about date night. He was supposed to be your calm, your safe space. He wasn't supposed to cause you anything but happiness and pleasure. But he hadn't even given you the courtesy to call you and tell you what was going on. 

You walked out after that, saying you needed time to figure out if you wanted to come back at all, and as the days passed, he was starting to think your side of the bed would remain cold forever. 

You were it for him, he didn't want anyone else, and he never would - he knew that.

But on nights like this, while he scrubbed the blood out from under his nails, he wondered if you knew it. 

Did you know how far gone he was for you? How he'd do anything for you, that if it wasn't you in his life, it was no one. 

He wondered if he could have both. You and this life he'd created. You, in your tender adoration. The way you cared for him. Loved him. And his life with the club. Being part of a stronghold like that. Being a nightmare for some. Seeing the things he did. Doing the things he had to. Making the necessary decisions no matter how morally questionable they were.

He knew people talked badly about him around you, warning you to stay away from him. That he was dangerous. A bad man. And he knew some of it was true. 

He was dangerous, not trusted by most. 

But you told him something once, the first time you'd seen him come home from club business covered in bruises and blood, seeing the internal turmoil those choices caused him. 

"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."

With those words replacing the agony that had been swirling his head, he gets out of the shower, drying off and getting dressed with a purpose. 

He was going to see you, and make sure you know you're it for him, no matter what. As long as you know that, your choice is yours.

But first, he needs to pick up a sweet treat. He decides he'll pick up your favorite. 

Maybe, if things work out, you'd share it with him. 

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanficiton #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x f!reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #remisneonparty #em <3 #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #biker!bucky x reader #biker!bucky

[widowbitessting]

Hi! first of all I love your writing! And I was wondering if you have done any drabbles on how the trio reacts to baby feeling down or having a bad day, I have tried looking but i’m very bad at that so I’m just gonna leave this here and hope you can let me know. And if you haven’t I was then wondering if I could submit a request for you to write something along the side of that? when you’re feeling more up to writing it of course!

(PS I haven’t been on here for a bit but I like to come on when i’m feeling down and life is kicking my ass like it is right now but I want you to know I love rereading SM and all the drabbles surrounding it, thank you for bringing us that comfort with your amazing writing even when people are being dicks for no reason❤️)

Hello my beautiful nonnie. Now I won't lie, this ask has caught my eye for so long that I've actually been bickering with myself, over what drabbles fit and what don't😂 So I'll go ahead and tag ones that are similar in a way and then add something under the cut to make sure you're 100% satisfied with my response, I hope that is okay!

So! The drabbles I'm tagging are *insert drum role here*

Who is the softest/kindest dom out of the trio? - a fluffy drabble that I hope makes you feel all fluffy and stuff

Aftercare! - A drabble showing how much the Trio! listen and care for you, especially with safe words.

Unknown/Known Scars - TRIGGER WARNING, please read the trigger warning my love before reading this one.

Coffee Shop & Baby Doesn't Get Enough Sleep - I tagged two in this ask, where Baby is overworked at school and the Trio! are always there to take care of her.

Some Cute Things - Just cute fluff 'cos we love cute fluff around here

And finally, my favourite one on this list - The Sick Fic - it's self explanatory but Baby gets poorly and our Trio! look after her!

Now I'm aware all of these come under the stressed title and not worrying title, which is why I'm gonna add to that under the cut. I hope I can do you justice with it, and I really hope you enjoy this reply.

Much love

Livvy

xoxo

Also trigger warning for this one. Just in case.

When life seems to be kicking your ass, when your brain turns on you and becomes incredibly mean, you push everyone away.

It's a coping mechanism learnt from childhood, one that you need to break, but you can't.

MJ knows it too.

Can see it when you come home and the light in your eyes just isn't there anymore.

It's like you become a shell.

You're there physically, but mentally your thoughts are spiralling.

And MJ, your fabulous best friend, knows that she doesn't have the skills to help.

No matter what she does, you just push her away and burrow until the bad days ease and pass like a wave.

So she calls backup.

Wanda, Natasha and Carol come as quick as they can.

Already on their way to you as you've even tried to push them away.

Even going as far to exit the different dm's you're in with them as the constant message vibrations/notifications grate on you to the point where your brain whispers: they don't need you anymore

MJ leaves when the Trio arrive.

Knowing to give you all space, but makes them promise to message when you're back so she can come home and give you a cuddle, as well as a slap.

When they try your bedroom door, it's locked.

It's the first battle.

Actually getting you to unlock it.

To let them in.

It takes time.

A long time.

For them to break through that first wall.

To convince you that they're here and not going anywhere anytime soon.

In fact, it takes almost an hour.

You sit on the other side of the door, back against it with your head burrowed in your arms.

Fingers clenched so tightly in your hair.

Fighting against your brain to believe them.

When you finally let them in, they don't rush inside your room.

They stay where they are.

Waiting.

For you.

For you to let them in.

And at first, it looks like your brain is going to win and you're going to shut the door on them and everything is going to go back to square 1.

But -

You nod.

A tiny, little nod.

And it's all the Trio! need to embrace you.

For you to vanish amongst three warm bodies.

That tell you how much they love you.

How much they adore you.

How they just want to keep you safe and happy.

You're their girl.

And they're not going anywhere.

Ever.

They tell you this as you cry.

As you scream at them to stop lying.

As you smack them over and over until you collapse in a heap and sob.

It doesn't stop them.

They're still there.

Proving to you, to your overthinking brain that they are not going anywhere.

When you're finally ready to talk, they listen.

Wanda cries.

Natasha nods along.

Carol chews the inside of her cheek.

And once you're done, they thank you for being so open about this side of you; the side you've tried to hide.

And they promise to you that: They. Are. Not. Leaving.

Ever.

They will remind you this when your brain is mean every time.

When you shut them out, they'll wait.

When you vanish, they'll find you.

When you try to push them away with all that you have, they won't move.

They'll stay and prove to you that it is you that they want.

You're their perfect girl.

Their darling submissive.

But most of all: you are theirs.

And they will make sure you never forget it.

You are theirs.

And they are yours.

Forever.

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #carol danvers #sugar mommies #reader insert #spiderbites #sugar mommies!asks #natasha x wanda x carol x reader #smu #sugar mommies au #sugar mommies: world building #sugar mommies universe #sugar mommies drabble #sugar mommies suggestions

[eulchu]

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

#long post #rbs are appreciated 😭🫶

[anxious-witch]

This post specifically goes for my mutuals/followers who have been struggling lately. I see you and I don't always have something encouraging to reply, but if you have been feeling down recently, I hope this will help.

TW for mental health talk, mentions of suicide (this is an encouraging post, but please don't read further if anything of the sort might trigger you. Keeping your mental health intact is more important ❤️)

It's so very easy to get in the spiral of "I am not doing enough, all these people that I love would be better off without me". And convincing yourself those same people would forget you and move on quickly.

It's not true. I understand the sentiment, I really, really do. I used to fully believe that myself. But that's a lie. Mental illness reshapes the way we think and perceive things. And our brain and wired to remember bad things more than good ones. But when you'd write down everything that happened every day, I'd honestly be surprised if all of it was bad. Of course there are bad days, but even then, depression tend to focus on things you did wrong instead of those you did right.

But I am here to talk about the fact that I'd miss you if you were gone, too. Which seems ridiculous. "Rio, you follow 1000 blogs, you wouldn't notice". *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! I would notice. As long as we ever interacted, as long as you liked and/or reblogged my posts, I'd notice.

When someone gets busy and I don't see them in my notes for over a week, I hope they are okay and just doing something more fun irl. I am not always great at remembering usernames, but as soon as they like one of my posts again I'm like yes!! They are back! I am glad you are okay!

"But I don't even contribute to the fandom!" No? Do you think creating content is the only way to contribute? Even just lurking and liking stuff counts. And I know some of you send really lovely anon messages that have made my day more than once. It DOES matter. Notes help other people as encouragement to keep posting. That absolutely counts.

"We barely post about the same fandom anymore" ah! But I still see you! I have a mutual that I have been following since 2016-2017, I believe. I have no idea what the hell he posts about these days. I can't rven accurately tell you why I originally followed him in the first place, it was either LOTR or Twilight, but fuck if I remember, because neither of hs posts about it!

And I still care. Because his journey ended up helping me. Seeing people's posts about their little achievements always makes my day. And even if you don't feel like you achieved anything in awhile, that doesn't mean you won't in the future. My point is, you are loved more than you know.

And this is only about online stuff. People notice when you walk down the street. Maybe someone likes your hair, or some detail of your outfit. Maybe someone saw you feed a stray and thought how nice you are. Maybe someone takes the same public transport as you every day and takes comfort in the fact you share the same path, if only for a few minutes.

This tumblr post perfectly described it, actually:

So please, if not for your own sake, for the sake of all the people who love you silently, keep going. It will get better. You might be just a bit further away from getting better. But you won't know unless you keep going.

So let's find out together, shall we?

#rio rambles #mental health #tw suicide mention #I think I might be getting way to ahead of myself #but I have seen posts and heard second hand about a lot of ppl struggling rn #so if this makes even one person feel a bit better it's worth posting

[mazeinthemiroh]

How would ateez react when they find out their s/o is skipping meals and trying to hide it from them? (If your not comfortable writing about it that's totally okay)

ateez reactions to finding out their s/o is skipping meals

genre: angst, comfort

word count: 0.9k

warnings: touches on very delicate topics and is generally upsetting, mentions of an eating disorder, mentions of body dysmorphia

author's notes: thank you for your request. to anyone who is skipping meals, i hope you feel better in yourself. i hope you have someone to talk to about this and listen to you, because this is something that should be helped and not hidden. staying healthy is the most important thing. my heart goes out to you, and i am sending lots of love to you all.

hongjoong

feels guilty. so guilty. because maybe if he spent more time with you? had more time to share with you and catch up with you and make sure you were okay? maybe then, with him by your side and not being as busy with work, you wouldn't be in this situation. he goes down a spiral of regret and blames himself. he just feels absolutely horrible, and thinks he has failed you as a boyfriend. as a partner and a friend. he will try to but all these negative feelings aside as he focuses on comforting you, but he doesn't hide it well. you catch sight of his lower lip trembling.

"i won't ever let this happen again, not on my watch."

seonghwa

hates himself for not seeing it coming before. because after finding out you have been skipping meals, things started to click in his head. he started to make sense of it all: all the times you said weren't hungry even though you stomach was rumbling loudly; all the times you cancelled dates with him last minute if they had anything to do with eating out; all the times you would make him a meal for when he got home from work, saying to him you had already eaten before. he felt so stupid, so awful. he wishes he could turn back time and fix what he could've done.

"i'm so, so sorry, jagi. i will try and do better for you."

yunho

he feels so lost. and never wants to leave your side again. he just feels like he has been totally blind. have you really felt this way about yourself? is this really what you've been driven to? to the point where you are skipping meals? he doesn't want to believe it. he wants to flat at refuse that, no, you would never do that. would you? he feels so concerned that all he can think of doing is hugging you close to his chest, letting a shaky breathe out as he racks his brains for solutions.

"i'll cook for you yeah? i'm not letting you go without a meal, baby. i will help you."

yeosang

so confused. feels almost... betrayed? just by the fact that you had been hiding such a big thing from him. but after thinking it over, he realises that, in your situation, with your feelings, he would probably do the same. still, he gets quite emotional over this, wanting nothing more than just to bundle you up in his arms and reassure you that you are absolutely flawless to him. he wants nothing more than for you to be healthy and happy. healthiness and happiness coincide, in his mind.

"you are perfect. you are so perfect. never forget that."

san

it breaks his heart when he finds out. he wears a broken expression on his face as he listens to you finally explain, through many tears, that you have been skipping meals more frequently. he looks really hurt, really downhearted. his heart aches because he knows of your insecurities. he just had no idea you were driven to this point. pulls you in for a hug and nuzzles into your neck, starting to cry along with you. he had a death grip on you, there's no way he's letting go after this.

"you can't do this to yourself, you just... can't."

mingi

this is very unknown territory for him. he is quite knowledgeable about mental health in general, compared to most. but eating disorders and body dysmorphia is something he has never considered before. all he does know is that he has this overwhelming need to help you. a protectiveness. a boyfriend instinct. a conviction of his heart urging him to support you in any way he can. he will give you lots of cuddles and kisses and all the love you need, saying he will be there to help you through this.

"i'm going to support you through this no matter what. i love you so much, jagi. you have no idea."

wooyoung

he catches you throwing your dinner away. tahst how he finds out. "what are you doing?" he'll question from behind, making you jump out of your skin. a deer in the headlights, indeed. you explain to him that you just weren't hungry, but by that time its too late for excuses. he's figured it all out. he realises he can't remember the last time he saw you eat a whole meal. he becomes alarmed, upset, panicked. he might raise his voice at first, questioning you out of concern, trying to understand... why. will eventually pull you into a hug, falling silent as you cry into his chest.

"why would you do this to yourself?? y/n you deserve so much better than this."

jongho

he is very quiet when he finds out. he thinks, phases things in his head, rethinks and rephrase everything all over again. he wants to handle this situation with care and give you the best support possible. it makes his heart throb to find out you have been doing this for so long without him knowing. he will ask you calmly why you have been skipping meals. he wants to understand your feelings, your thought process. he wants to help so badly. and he recommends, after listening to you patiently and calmly, that you should see a professional to help you through this difficult time.

"all i will say is that you are not going to be alone in this any more, y/n."

#ateez #atz #kpop #requested #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #kpop scenarios #ateez angst #atz angst #atz scenarios #atz x reader #ateez x reader #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #seonghwa #jeong yunho #yunho #kang yeosang #yeosang #mingi #song mingi #choi san #san #jongho #choi jongho #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #kpop imagines

[luffyrose]

I have fallen down the ultimate spiral. Usually falling into fandoms are ones that I know well or that I will know well because I just found an interest in them. This time, this time I've fallen into the whole dc x dp. I have no idea how or why the crossover is a thing, BUT I LOVE IT.

I'm not that big a DC fan in general, mainly because I do not have the attention span to understand what is happening (ignore the fact I've watched all of One Piece-) but I have watched all of Danny Phantom at one point or another so like, halfway there kdjnshdf

N E WAY! I was reading lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood real good, go read it https://archiveofourown.org/works/40263192 BUT THEN I SAW A POST, as I casually skim through it when bored, ABOUT JASON AND DANNY MEETING PROMPT/MINI-FIC ON HERE AND I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH IT

So now, my brain as it usually does, wants to write a fic on it. this is why I have so many notes/docs, someone please remind me to organize fdksjnfj but yeah- I might write some of it, I might not- I don't know, but I will absolutely dumb random thoughts I've had about it on you all.

Okay! So I don't see much if anything about it, but I love the idea that Danny is like, a baby in ghost terms. Like no one thought about it much because it was the equivalent of the "BABY HAS A GUN" meme and because the ghosts just wanted to cause some mayhem and have fun, it took them like 2-3 years to look at the overpowered ghost and go; "That's a child-".

Keep in mind, Danny is already technically the King of the Infinite realms via defeating Pariah Dark as well, so all the ghosts are like "a child....OUR CHILD" and now panicking over the fact that this lil ghost has not had a parent(Madie and Jack DO NOT in fact count as parents to the ghosts, or Danny's core for that matter, but it's not because they're human, like, the ghosts are more concerned about the fact that his parents aren't ACTUALLY his parents.)

Either way, Danny now has to avoid Clockwork, who knows he is a baby in ghost terms but almost adult in human terms so still 100% making him king, the ancient is kind enough to alleviate most of the jobs a king has to do at least......for now-

So most of Danny's 16, going to turn 17 soon, year old life is now school, dealing with the few ghosts who still cause him trouble even if he's a baby ghost to them, he does keep in mind how they are MUCH gentler now and tend to "give up" pretty easily instead of fighting him, and 'running' from Clockwork trying to coronate him.

Clockwork knows where he is when he 'hides' but his own ghost core, ancient as it is, can't help but humor the child.

Things go wonk as soon as his parents find out about him being a ghost, surprise surprise. His dad was shoot first, ask questions later as always, but his mom was more...mentally traumatizing my child by claiming they'll fix him and telling him how they would just have to cut him open a little to see what's wrong.

Danny gets hit by one of the shots and goes tumbling into the ghost zone, another shot hitting the portal itself and breaking it as he went through. Some ghost find him and are like "THE BABY!!!!"

Personally- my brain it's Kitty and Johnny finding him because they're more like friends now then much else. Kitty being like an older sister while Johnny is the friend he probably would have dated at some point given the situation since they're both around his age in general, being younger ghosts as well.

Either way, they panic, call Clockwork, since the whole Infinite Realms knows that they're Danny's guardian. Clockwork shows up, and is like "wuh oh" and decides this child needs a parent. BUT INSTEAD OF SENDING HIM TO SOMEONE CONVENTIONAL HE'S JUST LIKE WOOPPSSYYYYY *Throws a very injured and not that conscious Danny at Lex Luthor*

Lex is, despite telling himself he's not, already this random meta-adjacent kid's dad. He's sold. Be it the obvious parental neglect/abuse like he had or the fact that he didn't know he had enough of a heart not to abandoned a hurt child who knows-

Also just as a tangent, Danny 100% talks about clones one times and the two have a long talk about the sentience of clones, because like, Lex didn't think about it in a way that Clones, albeit creations of science more so, are still very sentient beings unlike other scientific creations. And depending on the type of clone, they are much much more human. Cue Lex having a mental breakdown in his bedroom later because oh fuCK HE LEFT A CHILD WITH SO LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD WITHOUT A PARENT- you can't convince me Lex wouldn't be a good dad solely to spite his own.

Danny's adopted and Lex is concerned for sure about this, apparently ghost as he quickly learned, kid that wakes up screaming sometimes. Boy is he glad to have built his whole place around keeping prying meta's out amongst other things- He's trying his best, and Danny is confused as hell about having a good parent. Even more confused because he's rich.

Lex is like "I'm totally doing this to ask about his capabilities" before panicking over Danny getting kidnapped despite knowing the kid could float through a wall if in real danger-

Cue many arguments about if Danny can go do things in general. Lex is very much stubborn about it even though he knows Danny is part ghost. This IS partially thanks to the few weeks it even took for Danny to heal from the blast he took from his parents. Either way, Danny won that argument in the end by saying he'd just float through the walls and go if he couldn't. They settled that if going as a ghost he just had to be careful about heroes and not changing in sight if at all, and if as Danny, he had to take a few bodyguards, though they could be discreet.

Either way, once Lex actually shows the world his kid, and he is so proud to call Danny his kid, Danny gets kidnapped. This is exactly why LEX SAID NO DANNY!!! Either way he gets saved by some Metropolis hero, superman or not, and he's instantly a little shit tm to them. More so because they asked a question about Lex, maybe even implying he was a bad dad, and even if Danny doesn't see him as a dad quite yet, there is no way he's standing for that!

In the end, it's a while before Danny actually goes much further than Metropolis, thank you very much Lex, this halfa knows how to do a thing or two!

Except he runs into trouble right away, that trouble being that uh oh- his underlying health issues he'd been ignoring up until now cuz they haven't messed up since his death- ignore the fact he learn that corrupted ectoplasm makes him basically have heart attacks if in human form because hey! doesn't happen if he's a ghost and he'll just switch before it happens- yeah that suddenly acts up when he runs, in human form because he wanted some coffee, straight into Red Hood. How fun.

Jason is confused because of the pit's usual anger and call for violence, upon seeing this random teen that literally ran into him, fall over in pain. Jason is worried as well obviously like this kid is definitely sick or something, but wHAT?!

He does the only logical thing obviously! taking him to one of his hideouts and not telling anyone-

Danny wakes up, sore, confused, and hella tired. Jason is equally as confused and tired, staring at the kid as he wakes up. The icky ecto doesn't actually hurt Danny from being near it, it's more like his body is thrown into cold water suddenly and it just has a violent initial reaction. So now Danny is trying to figure out why this person, ghost?, he can't tell, has the GROSSEST ecto he's ever seen, and if he's even aware of it. Let alone how the heck he's gonna help this random ghost, because by damn he's still technically the ghost king and his obsession isn't protection for nothing-

Now we have Danny, who's been unconscious for hours might I add, sitting with a very confused Jason. Danny wants to help the ghost person, he might just start calling him a halfa, but he was wrong about Vlad being a halfa, he's actually more of an ecto-possessed person, really confusing. Jason wants to know WHY this kid is making his pit rage not only calm, but worried, so he's having a time, actually having a clear head for once outside of his concern for this random child, that he's only just realizing he technically kidnaped....and definitely has forgotten to tell anyone about- Welp, he's not telling them now, his oddly comforting child now.

I have more ideas from this but I have been writing this for a while now so like- I'll tell ya more if ya want but only then- If I ever do write this it will 100% be more angsty than my blabbering here kjfsdnjkf

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dc x dp au #dp x dc au #dp/dc #danny phantom #dcmultiverse #jason todd #red hood #lex luthor #danny fenton #ghost king danny #we got the whole squad #and most of them have trauma v( ´∀｀*v)

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Banished (2)

You asked, I delivered. Ish. There will be three parts to this, but I wanted to split them because I have an attention span of a goldfish. The previous part can be found HERE.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Eddie Munson's mind is racing. That isn't unusual for him, his brain is basically a race track, but instead of overflowing with ideas for campaigns or songs, he's basically having a breakdown if he ever had one. What a joke, he thinks to himself, you get accused of several murders, get torn to shreds by bats from another dimension, die and come back, but that's just okay while a dinner with Karen Wheeler sends you spiraling? You moron.

The dinner is only tomorrow, he still has plenty of time, but he can't sleep, can't rest, can't do anything and before he knows it, he's knocking on Steve's door. He curses himself for not checking the time when an obviously sleepy (and shirtless. Why is he always shirtless?!) Steve opens the door, only an inch, and peers outside. "Eddie? What's wrong?" He swings the door fully open and Eddie can hear the clang of his signature spiked bat as Steve lets it fall on the ground. That's going to damage the floor, Eddie thinks. And then he remembers that the Harringtons haven't even checked if their son is alive after the earthquake and his mind adds, good. Maybe I should drop it again. From the staircase. Twice.

Eddie's eyes dart to the side, anywhere but Steve's bare chest. One crisis at a time, thank you. "Harrington. I mean...shit. Hi Steve. Can I...can I come in?" Noticing Steve's stunned silence, he quickly adds: "I swear this isn't one of the world ending things. It's mundane, really. But I didn't know where else to go, so..." he points vaguely at himself, "here I am, I guess. I'm also sorry for waking you up, shit, should have said that first. Really sorry."

Steve gives a humorless laugh and steps to the side, letting Eddie in. "Yeah, nothing to be sorry for. Being tired and actually sleeping seem to be two completely different things." Eddie kicks off his shoes and Steve points him to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

Eddie wonders if maybe a shot, two or half a bottle of vodka would do the trick. If it would get him to calm down. Probably not. "Um..." he croaks out, "no. No thanks, I...drank. Before I came here. Like, not alcohol. Coke. Not...that kind of coke. Jesus H Christ," he rubs his forehead and closes his eyes. It's becoming more and more obvious that tomorrow is going to be a disaster.

Steve just leans against the kitchen door frame and blinks, confused. "...you okay Eddie?"

"Yes. Possibly. Depends." He takes a deep breath and finally looks at Steve properly. The chest hair isn't helping his mental stability and this time, he doesn't have a good excuse to throw any clothing at him. "I...look. The whole banished thing is getting kind of old and it seems Wheeler's mom seems to agree and...she invited me over, which I know you know, I don't know why I'm telling you since you were the one who made that miracle happen, but I...I have a slight problem."

The pretty face in front of him scrunched into a confused frown. "Don't you...want to go?"

Eddie throws up his hands and it takes him some serious self-discipline not to rub his fingers between Steve's eyebrows to make that frown disappear. "Oh no, nonono. I mean yes. I want to go. So much. But um...I...shit, this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want to fuck this up, okay? I can't afford to fuck this up." There, he said it. Eddie never wanted to be emotionally invested in anything or anyone that could hurt him, always placing his personal integrity - hobbies, aesthetics, beliefs - over impressing other people, but here he is, admitting to Steve Harrington of all people that he found something worth changing his approach. "So for the first time in my life, I want to...make a good impression. But," he sighs, tugs a strand of his hair in front of his mouth, "with the whole end of the world thing, all of my clothes are gone. Like, melted. Burned. I didn't have much of a presentable wardrobe even before, but now..."

Steve sucks in a breath. "Oh."

Eddie nods and drops his eyes to the floor again. This is starting to feel like a really bad idea. "Yeah, so I know this is weird as hell and you're well within your rights to tell me to fuck off, but-"

But then Steve is grabbing his wrist, pulling him upstairs. "Come on," he interrupts his rambling and Eddie's chest squeezes impossibly tight around his self-proclaimed cynical heart at the kindness in his voice, "let's see if I can find something that fits you."

...

Eddie ends up spending the night. Not in the way he would have liked, but Steve is off work the next day and he insists on perfecting everything - "it's absolutely not that I'm not into your look, I mean...you know what I mean, but I want you to feel calm, man. Parents can be terrifying, but Karen - Mrs. Wheeler - is a good person. And you need to sleep to entertain those little shits the way they expect, otherwise they'll eat both of us alive." So they go through Steve's wardrobe, find some older pieces (still better than anything Eddie's ever owned) that he used to wear before his shoulders and thighs decided to do the thing that has Eddie secretly salivating.

Steve also brings in his hair salon supplies, as Eddie jokingly calls them, and helps brush Eddie's unruly locks into a simple low ponytail. Eddie doesn't let anyone touch his hair, the gesture is too intimate, but he can't find a good excuse to say no and the experience ends up being...pleasant. And he isn't going to follow that thought because it leads to hell. Not the religious one, fuck that, but hell of unrequited feelings, awkwardness and pity.

The end result has Eddie feeling...mixed. He looks at himself in the mirror, a simple dark polo, still slightly larger, but it might be seen as an intent, tucked into non-torn jeans. His hair is still fluffy, but looks more put together. He looks put together. He stares at his reflection and thinks is this what I would have looked like if I was normal? Would I have a normal job, a diploma, all that shit? His eyes slightly shift to Steve's reflection, looking at him tired but proud, and his brain unhelpfully adds: Would I be Steve's type then? Stupid.

He turns to Steve and gestures at the polo. "Not bad, huh? Who knew I could pull off the King Steve look?"

Steve laughs out loud, throws his head back. "Give yourself more credit, man, you don't look like that much of a douchebag. Suits you, though. If you ever feel like going for something more daring."

"Daring," Eddie rolls that word on his tongue, trying to sound offended but failing. "Daring my ass, Harrington! Don't think for a moment your polos trump the whole my-daughter-or-son-can-never-bring-this-guy-home look."

Steve produces an undignified snort, but holds Eddie's eyes. "Well, maybe you just need to date someone whose parents are never home," the asshole shrugs as Eddie nearly self-combusts.

"Oh." Quickly, say something not creepy. "Good thing I know someone like that then." Fuck. 

They stare at each other for long seconds and Eddie notices Steve is actually blushing, the master of flirting suddenly has the most beautiful pink hue spreading from his face to his - still bare, goddammit Harrington! - chest, but he doesn't look uncomfortable. Eddie wants to pour a gallon of water on the tiny flame of hope that sparked in his chest, but apparently stupid is his new way of life.

And Steve isn't fucking helping. He runs fingers through his hair again, not distracting at all, and smiles sheepishly at Eddie. "Well, you should go for them." Them, not her. Oh.

Eddie, feeling brave and still very, very stupid, smiles and attempts to tug another strand of hair in front of his face, but the ponytails there and he feels incredibly exposed. "I think I will," he tells Steve, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his - Steve's - jeans. "I just need to deal with this whole banished thing and if it goes well, I'll ask them out. Maybe for coffee. Coffee is a good first date idea, no?"

Steve nods. "Yeah. I can't imagine them not liking coffee."

"Good."

There is a comfortable silence between them now. Eddie wonders if he's dreaming, if his brain made up this whole conversation, but he can't imagine a single dream of his where he'd end up wearing Steve's polo shirts. Or maybe...nope, still not going there.

He yawns and waves his hand in front of his mouth. "Sorry," he says and then bursts out laughing when Steve yawns too. "Contagious, isn't it?"

"Yep." Steve looks at his bed, the only clean island in the sea of piles of clothes. "Do you snore, Munson?"

Eddie snorts and wiggles a finger at Steve. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

Part 3 will be up eventually, I already have it sort of planned. Tagging the folks who mentioned they'd like a continuation, sorry if that's *clears throat for the best Max impression* presumptuous of me.

@subparwritersuperbreblogger, @gay-stranger-things and two others who I can't tag for the life of me, I'll just respond to your comments!

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie drabble #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #strangerthings #stranger things ficlet #strangerthingsfanfiction

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

Wel done with the update and the story in general. You are doing so great to the point I'm just subconsciously waiting for the penny to drop and my MC to spiral into darkness again. So thanks for the anxiety 😒

I laughed so much at the one ask about the ROs getting into a different bed with someone other than MC and just blaming Aurelio for everything 🤣🤣

Soooo if it's okay for me to ask: at a similar event/ party how the ROs would react if they left MC to go get them drinks and came back to find some very flirty drunk noble trying to get into MCs pants?

PS you deserve all the praise. I know it's hard to accept at times but take the honesty and love. Especially from us rando strangers. We have literally no reason to lie to you. You are doing a great job... unfortunately I can't give you alot of 👏 but I'll do some lovesss.

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

We appreciate all your hard work!!

Hello,

MC's mental health is also primarily in the hands of the player, so if they snap that's all on you lol.

And thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. 🥺

Now onto your ask,

Cassandra: Yeesh, the audacity. Cass is a pretty well known and respected young noblewoman, on top of that her dad has a very high ranking and culturally respected job. The metaphorical or literal balls on the fucker who is trying to swoop her man/woman IN PUBLIC. Nah, strap in because she is going to cause a scene. Will not lose her composure but will raise her voice so everyone in the room can hear her clearly. She will brag this hoe, with class.

Valeria: She would not even have a chance to throw hands because her family is always present at local town parties and her brothers would have stepped in already if they saw someone bother their little sister's man/woman when they already turned them down (Lord help them if her brothers saw mutual flirting).

Tomas: He will either start throwing punches immediately and beat the dude to an inch of his life or if it's a woman, he will grab her by the collar and throw her off MC and leave.

-

Ludovica: It's a coin flip honestly depending on her mental state on that day, she could either feel very insecure and tear up as she asks MC to leave with her or she will be stone cold and verbally decimate them with immense passive aggressiveness.

yk writing this makes me realize I should probably include a mental stat for Vica that shows if MC pushes her to be 100% dependent on them which makes her a complete crybaby or if she gets a backbone.

Aurelio: Cool as a cucumber as he's confidante there exists literally nobody who can compete with him but won't let anybody harass someone at one of his parties, much less his own love. Will warn them once to stop and if it continues will have them escorted out.

Elio: Stands besides MC with a resting bitch face and forces his way into the conversation while making snide comments every 2 seconds until he annoys the noble to leave.

#omwat #ask #ludovica #aurelio #cassandra #elio #tomas #valeria

[kalcifers-blog]

TMA *EGOS*

PLEASE EXPLAIN MORE

Okay I'm assuming that you're asking me to give what TMA Avatar each of the Egos would be which I'll go into detail here!!! With!!!! Some bonus Picrews!! If you have any further questions don't be afraid to reach out in the ask box xxx

Before I begin I do want to mention that these are just my own thoughts!!! I would absolutely love to hear what everyone thinks/if you have alternative ideas to suggest as well :DDD

(For starters I think all of the Egos have elements of The Lonely to them- they all feel isolated in their lives for whatever reason)

Chase Brody (The Eye) - I think Chase is so unbelievably Eye coded and he's VERY Archivist coded in my brain, giving off Season 4 Jonathan Sims if you get me. The Beholding is all about paranoia, feeling like your being watched and this insatiable need to know more- which Chase pretty much checks every box in my brain (especially after Anomaly Found). Chase does have elements of The Corruption and The Buried which I think would mostly just because of The Eyes effects of his life.

Marvin The Magnificent (The Desolation) - to me I've always gotten the impression that Marvin's magic reflects his mental wellbeing and he didn't gain it naturally- a younger Marvin to me has always read as a Carrie White or a Sydney Novak type character- someone with such intensely strong powers that its only a matter of time before he destroys something- i think the thing it destroys the most is Marvin himself though, its harmed everything around him and has probably left him isolated and alone. The Desolation isn't just fire it's the destruction of everything it doesn't care for death it just drives to squeeze the pain out of you. Which for me is exactly how I've always imagined Marvin, the fact that he doesn't want to hurt others would only feed into it more.

JackieBoy Man (The Vast) - Now with Jackie he's always seemed to be the hardest character to pinpoint for me personally. But at the end I thought The Vast was the only appropriate entity for him, he's an odd mix of Crew and Fairchild where he's constantly chasing down the thrill of open air, of falling into nothingness. He also to me seems like he'd be the one Ego who'd be the most aware of how insignificant their lives are in the grand scheme of the entirety of the universe (plus as a bonus his comic is the only one this far to reference the grand universe and the sheer scale of everything.

Jameson Jackson (The Web) - JJ is so interesting to me because to me he's both puppet and puppet master. He's a people pleaser and I would go as far to say that he takes it the point no one ever truly knows who he really is, like Martin Blackwood, he's all smiles and kind gestures but he treats everyone the same, it's only when you take a step back do you realise just how surface level his gestures are. I don't think he's a bad person however, I just think he pretends to care a lot more than he actually does. He's manipulated but he knows it, hes the quickest to spot the signs of manipulation because he's seen it and he's played with the same strings- that doesn't make him immune to manipulation and I think part of him is aware of just how caught up he is in the web himself.

Henrik Von Schneeplestien (The End/The Spiral) - Henrik was almost impossible for me to settle on because there's quite a few he could fall into (I could even make an argument he'd also belong in The Eye or Corruption) but I think his true calling is The End. I see him carry death unknowingly to the people around him, he spends so much time saving lives to counter act it somehow, he can't save everyone but if he can help people just as much as he accidentally kills others then maybe he can live with himself- it obviously takes a hold of him and he's eventually unable to keep operating in this way which is where The Spiral comes in, I think the constant death surrounding him will eventually break him and unknown to him and everyone around him- the signs for this were all clear as day.

Antisepticeye (The Stranger) - Anti is not human, anti has never been human and him trying to convince you that he is one is nothing short of uncanny. He's not had the life experiences to know how humans are supposed to move, his body consists of that which is important for a human to survive but none of it works right. He kills people and robs their lives and their faces and mocks you with them. He sends people into paranoia because they know that something is wrong but they just can't tell what. He is a mask of humanity worn by a thing that doesn't know how to be human.

BONUS: Robbie The Zombie (The Corruption) - Robbie was the easiest BC yk, zombie. But I would like to think that he didn't die and come back. His zombification was slow and it started when he was alive, watching and feeling his body begin the decomposition process while he was still very much alive and aware and feeling. It slowly but surely robbed him of not just his life but his identity and he slowly started to lose himself within the rot of The Corruption as he progressed.

PICREW LINK

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #jse #jacksepticeye egos #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #chase brody #henrik von schneeplestein #robbie the zombie #Antisepticeye #jameson jackson #the magnus archives #tma #tma avatars #kal rambles #kal writes #kalcifers blog

[neos-schlond-poofa]

Garrance: How to Save a Life

I live laugh love Garrance and I once edited the first part. And ever since like one day, I listened to How to Save a Life by The Fray and went "omg..." AND WAS LIKE THATS THEM!! It was actually in like 2021 and it was me imagining if I had artistic talent and making a general MCD edit of it but slowly its turned into a predominantly Garrance theme song for me and like. I NEED TO SPREAD THIS AGENDA!! Just a heads up, its 1am for me rn, I don't remember everything the clearest, and I'm literally just rambling so it wont be too organized or have consistent grammar or writing styles. ANYWHO cue the music

Step one, you say we need to talk He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk" He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came OKAY SO LIKE THIS WHOLE FIRST PART I always envision it as late season 1 Garrance. Specifically when Garroth had his depressive episode (WHICH BY THE WAY GUYS WAS NOT HIM BEING AN INCEL!! IT WAS HIM BEING DEPRESSED AND MANIPULATED AND MOST LIKELY BRAINWASHED STOP VILLAINIZING HIM). Laurance did try to talk to him in that one episode, and it obviously didn't work. Laurance CARES about Garroth, like thats obviously super clear, and to see someone close to him randomly go into hiding and act all depressed is scary to him. And then... THE WINDOW TO YOUR RIGHT IS QUITE LITERALLY THE PORTAL TO THE IRENE DIMENSION!! Garroth goes left (to Zane) and Laurance stays right (to Aphmau). THE LINES OF FEAR AND BLAME? Laurance finds out that Garroth was tricked. He's scared of Garroth rn because he's literally insane but he blames himself too, not just for being part of the illusion that made Garroth become like this, but also because he wasn't there to help him out more maybe. He could've saved him, but he couldn't, and it still plagues him especially after he escapes the Irene Dimension. Garroth is all alone there with his brother who wants to kill him.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Yes this continues with the last part. But Laurance lost a friend here. Like. Not just by Garroth betraying them, but by him getting stuck in a dimension thats practically torture. And the bitterness? ITS THE BITTERNESS GARROTH WAS LOST IN!!! Laurance would stay up with Garroth all night... but he didn't know how to save a life.

Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all, you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God He hears you And I pray to God He hears you, and Alright this is were a lot more interpretation comes in because once Garroth returns, they interact like... TWICE??? The scene were Laurance goes out of character and hates on Aaron (although he had a point) and when he finally saw Garroth again but Aph was dressed as Zane. I also don't remember the ending of Season 2 that much; most of my strongest memories of MCD is Season 1. So like. Bear with me here. But this is Garroth to Laurance now. Laurance is now going insane. The calling (whatever that is because it is so unclear) is well... calling to Laurance. To me, Laurance's mental health is literally just spiraling. And Garroth, someone who has had his fair share of mental health struggles, wants to help. He knows best; he knows to talk to people, he knows the dark paths it can bring people. He's trying to get through to Laurance and telling him whats wrong, how he can help. But of course, in this situation, Laurance can't listen. He can't hear Garroth, and Garroth's close connection with the religion in MCD is a bonus for the final lines too.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Of course the chorus is back because I have to explain this perspective too. By now, I imagine Laurance has left. Garroth feels guilty; someone who helped keep Aphmau together while he was gone and someone he loved. This is really simple but like, I can't skip over this.

As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came AND NOW THIS IS BOTH PERSPECTIVES!! It shows the parallels between their own journeys. Let's start with Garroth, since we have more stuff on him. Garroth was very defensive during his depressive episode and during the final episode of season 1, he has one final choice. Go with Zane, or come to his senses. And he does admit to everything, but at first, he said he's just not the same. BECAUSE HE WASN'T!! HE WAS SAD AND MANIPULATED. But for Laurance, he would also be defensive about this. His own self will is being stripped from himself because of weird Nether laws and he's spiraling. Garroth tries to help... but he simply can't. There is nothing he can do. OR MAYBE THERE IS?? Idk this is kind of just in my mcd rewrite universe and i like to imagine theres some way Laurance does get better but at the same time realistically... would he?? The nether is like so strong. Like how would he do that. But he does have a choice: either go to the Nether, or stay with his group. He can either admit it's hard, or he's just changed and leave. And now the final chorus and everything plays and its kind of the same as before... ive gotten increasingly more eepy during this writing and I hope my rambling style got my ideas across because this song literally got in my top 5 spotify wrapped because i kept imagining garrance angst to it. its so them god one day i need to share stuff about my rewrite. theres so much random stuff i have in there and this song is really important to it. i just like. GARRANCE RAHHH. my former interpretations of this song also had an aphmau perspective, which does entirely work; like. imagine the final verses is mirroring her own experiences with garroth AND laurance. i love garrancemau (SHE HAS TWO HANDS!! ignore how i also ship her with two more people too she can just hug them all at once) but i cant put it into this song as much as i used to because its so garrance. theyre so ugh i love my sad little gay men!! anyways toodles my rant here is done

#mcd #minecraft diaries #mcd aphmau #aphmau #i don’t support aphmau #aphmau mcd #garrance #mcd garrance #garroth ro’meave #garroth x laurance #laurance zvahl #mcd laurance #mcd garroth #silly little gay men #THIS SONG IS SO THEM PLEASE UNDERSTAND #this rant is so disorganized i think

[iamthunderhearmehowl]

Let me tell you about the tattoo that my mom hates (this is a long ass post btw)

✨️Trigger Warning✨️

Suicide / Depression

- - - - - -

Hey, hi, it's me. This is the only place I feel really open about sharing things - but with the holidays and cold months coming up I know how hard it can be for people who are struggling with depression/ bi polar / familial trauma, etc. So here's this post to remind you (and me) that we'll be okay. You and me. We will be okay. We are still breathing, and with every breath we take, we still have a shot at living the lives we've dreamed of.

You see this tattoo? I got it as a reminder. Oh yeah, also it's a Dark Souls tattoo. It says "Don't You Dare Go Hollow".

My mom HATES it, but she has come to terms with how much I love this tattoo.

But anyways, I got this tattoo to remind myself to keep going. I got it about 1-2 years after I attempted to leave this earth on my own accord.

Background (skip if you want)

It was 2020. I had been a Veterinary Assistant (technician basically depending on what state you're in, TN treats the assistants the same as technicians). Clients were beating me down dude. I had phones thrown at me. I had death threats. I had people telling me I was a worthless piece of shit. I wanted to help these animal, but to do that I felt like I had to take and accept this slurry of abuse. I was unmedicated. I felt alone. I felt like I was nothing. An empty vessel. So one day I was supposed to go to work and we were working on a skeleton crew. 12 to 13 hours a day, days in a row, sometimes we would still have to go in on our off days. I couldn't do it anymore. I called out. I said I was sick. The response "I'm sorry you're sick, but that puts our team in a hard spot". That was it. The last straw.

I ended up going to the ER. I stayed there for a week. And thrn I ended up in a mental institution for 3 days. I was started on Zoloft.

All was well for a little bit. I stayed in my profession and decided to go to Tech School to brighten my future and make some more money.

It was. The most stressful time of my life. While I did leave my previous clinic I switched to ER and Specialty and lasted only about 6 months there. Before I realized I was spiraling again. I felt like a failure as a tech. I was worthless. I wasn't enough. I got let go. If I had been doing this for 5 years and could do this what fucking good was I? I saw the signs. I understood what was happening. I sought help and went to group therapy at a behavioral hospital.

It was amazing. The people I met, the counselors, I made so many friends and people who believed in me. We increased the dosage of my meds.

Now. I'm at a new clinic. I'm spiraling again. I'm in bad health. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's stress from my career. I still come home sobbing. I come home feeling empty. No amount of medication can help free me from the unhappiness of my job. At one point I loved it. Somewhere along the way I realized that this isn't the life I want. I love your pets. I love my current clients. But I can't take the pressures of possibly getting hurt or sick. My back is messed up from this job, all of my joints pop and hurt, I have damaged and fractured my teeth from grinding them from stress. I am always tired. Working 10+ hours with just a one hour break isn't cutting it. I am miserable.

So.

I took the fucking leap guys. I'm doing it. I'm switching my career. I'm going back to my roots. I'm being creative and doing what. I started podcasting and realized how much I missed being myself. My VTNE is next month and I don't give a shit.

The game changer was really being inspired by the voice acting in Baulder's Gate 3. Hearing Neil Newbon's speech when he accepted his award made me cry. I took one of Steve Blums voice acting classes and . . . My God it was like finally hearing the affirmation I never got from my parents.

Back to the Tattoo

My point is, no matter how hard it gets, please allow yourself to enjoy the things you love and fuck what everyone else says. You do yourself a disservice if you don't give yourself a break. If you don't be true to yourself, if you don't strive for the life you've dreamed of.

It's why my tattoo is the Bonfire from Dark Souls. In your journey, you're going to fail multiple times. Sometimes, you get hung up on the same damn spot over and over and over again. Sometimes, you have to reface your enemies. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BOSS BATTLES. You may fail thousands of times, but you know what you do? You go back to your bonfire- your safe place- and you heal up. You get the fuck back up the next day and do it again. Sometimes your game plan changes. You don't have to fight this boss today. You can fight him when you're ready. You don't have to make huge progress in the game today - you can dick around and look for good armor. You can change the whole path you take if you want to - it doesn't matter. In the end you will eventually accomplish what you've came to do.

I have really been fighting for my life lately, but I don't want to lose hope. If I give up, then I'll never see the end of the game or move on to the next one.

It's hard sometimes. But my favorite quote is:

"So if you ever find yourself in a slump, remember your purpose - whatever it may be - and never stop fighting for your goals, no matter how crazy they may seem. And don't you dare go hollow"

I don't know you guys but I love you. And if you need someone to tell you that personally my inboxes are open.

#dark souls #tattoos #dark souls tattoo #bg3 #neil newbon #steve blum #suicide awareness #my story #tattoo story #personal #video games #vet tech #voice acting #career change #depression #i am sad #saddness #tattoed girls #veterinary medicine #mental health #mental illness

[edelweiss-coffee]

i love your blogs aesthetic!!! can you write some eddie fluff where he notices his crush loves to draw flowers as a way to relax from the anxiety around the upside down and always borrows the library's flower books to use as references that he buys her a book of her own?

ofhwofhowehf I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

"you comin', y/n?" eddie coos softly to you.

without lookin up from your sketchbook, you nod.

"yeah, just let me finish up this linework..." you squeeze out.

"my little van gogh," he whispers, believing he's out of earshot.

"not van gogh, eds, just mentally ill," you drone, as you pack up your markers.

"did not think you could hear me. come on, we're gonna go see if dustin's girlfriend will give us the background we need for this new campaign."

"that's why we're going all the way up weathertop?"

"yeah, babe. cerebro?" he motions like he's holding a walkie-talkie.

"that’s right. sorry."

while tying up your shoes, your mind swirls with nervous energy. after all the shit you've seen in the last month, your thought process is thoroughly deteriorated. you don't have a second of peace unless you're engulfed in your sketchbook, trying to paint the very picture of serenity. everything just feels so, so bad.

"y'ready, honey?"

"yeah, eds, i'm ready. let's go check out cerebro."

it's only about a ten minute drive to weathertop, but you have to take your sketchbook out again on the way there. you open up your plant encyclopedia and turn to the limited section of florals. setting it next to you on the van's seat, you draw in your sketchbook while admiring a lily-of-the-valley.

"sweet girl," eddie sighs, sneaking glances at you when the road doesn't demand is attention. "you've been nose deep in that sketchbook for what? a week? talk to me."

he reaches over and squeezes your thigh.

"makes me feel better, eds. i'm havin' a hard time. told you this already."

"yeah, i know you told me. i just mean maybe talkin' about it will help it go away."

"talking about it will make me spiral. i don't like to 'cos i won't stop talking, and i'll start crying, and talkin' in circles, and it'll ruin the entire day. i'm sorry." you look up.

"i get it, angel. don't have to explain, or feel bad." he pulls the van over.

"what are you drawin, then?" he snatches up your sketchbook, flips through the pages.

"baby..." his mouth hangs agape.

"babe. these are fucking incredible. why so many lily-of-the-valleys? not a bad thing, they're so pretty. but are they special to you?"

you shake your head, and point at the botanicals book.

"there's only a few flowers in here. i can't draw anything from memory, so now i've got half a sketchbook full of one flower... but it helps."

"oh, my god, y/n. oh my god. hold on." he reaches into the center console.

"what're you doing, eds?"

"just hold on a minute, honey."

he puts the van in drive again and turns it around.

"eddie, where are we going?" you laugh.

"couldya just be patient? it'll be worth it. i promise."

within a few minutes, eddie is parking the van again.

"i'll be right back, okay?" he huffs.

you're on the commercial street of hawkins. boutiques, hawkins post, and the supermarket are here. you don't really hang around here often. he's left you with your thoughts again.

what is he doing?

ah, there he is, holding a blue paper bag. he opens up the driver's door and slides in.

"gotcha somethin'," he breathes.

he hands you the bag.

"eddie, what--" you open it. a book?

flowers, a golden guide. a guide to 200 of the most common wildflowers.

you are absolutely astonished.

"eddie, thank you! thank you so, so much. they only had a foliage one and this botanicals one at the library! thank you so much, eddie. this is so, so special to me."

his smile could put every single streetlight to shame.

"'m so glad you love it, baby. if it's flowers that you love, then flowers you shall have." he leans in until his forehead is touching yours.

" i love you the most, y/n."

"i love you even more."

#eddie munson x yn #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #asks

[skywalking-through-life]

If you don't mind me asking, what are your tips to getting yourself to write/ making time to write?

This is a GREAT ask, and even though I'm not sure that what works for me will work for everyone, I'm happy to share what I do in case it works for you, anonymous friend! 💙

So, to start, in full transparency: I have ADHD, a very, very busy and stressful job, and a spouse and dog and house, so I'm not always great at this! AND I'm not always great at not shaming myself when I am not great at this, even though I know better than to think that shame is in any way helpful. 💀

Because of all that, I think that step 1 HAS to be an acknowledgement that you aren't always going to find the time/motivation/energy/willpower/inspiration to write - because of things both in and not in your control - and that is totally fine! The acceptance of that being totally fine is an important part of all of this, because I have found that if you are literally ALWAYS stressed about writing more/writing a certain thing/meeting writing goals, then you can very easily fall into the kind of anxiety spiral that inhibits creativity and makes you start to dread or dislike writing. That's no fun, and writing should be fun!

So, I guess my tip for 'getting yourself to write more' is to start by NOT putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to write - which probably feels paradoxical, lol. Instead, only write when you feel the inspiration to! If possible, the literal moment that inspiration strikes, even if it's just you taking 2 seconds to jot down a note in your notes app, so you can come back to it when the inspiration/excitment strikes again! And yeah, I purposefully didn't say to come back when you have the time for it, because if you're like me, having the time to do something can feel oddly paralyzing - I have free time, so I SHOULD do something productive or creative with it, right? But I don't always think so - sometimes you need that time to let your brain be fallow, to wander, to dream. Let your drive to write wax and wane, as all natural things do! There's a rhythm to it, and learning what YOUR rhythms are matters. And, creativity NEEDS rest! If you are trying to make all your free hours productive ones, then your well of ideas and motivation is going to run dry before long.

What has been especially helpful to me during this season of my life is to acknowledge that I get excited about different wips at different moments, and just because I am really into one topic/theme/plot/ship/wip right now, it doesn't mean that I won't get a burst of inspiration for a completely different one next week! Having multiple (for me, wildly different) things on the go at once means that there is always something for me to work on when my brain loses interest in one thing, and knowing that helps me not stress that I've lost all creative steam - it's just gone in a new direction.

Okay, so since this is becoming a novel, just a couple more quick ideas: I listen to music that makes me think when I am trying to puzzle out a writing direction I want to take, and use my commute to and from work in the morning to mentally work out plot points, themes, dialogue, etc. For me that's almost 2 hours out of my day, and it helps me decompress from work! I also like to write in the bath, because that makes me feel contemplative, and sometimes at work on my lunch break, if work itself has provided some inspiration. I basically just try and work little creative moments into my day! You don't need to carve out a big block of time to write during, make it work for you and your schedule.

And genuinely, seriously: don't beat yourself up if you can't focus/make the time. I have been struggling with chapter 4 of '[conduct] not unbecoming' for the past 2 months, and it wasn't until I stopped fighting with it and decided to let my brain go in the direction it wanted to go (a very different one LMAO) that I started to feel light enough, inspired enough, and thoughtful enough to make progress on it again! Listen to your brain when it is telling you what it needs. 💙

#sweet sweet anonymous friends! #writing advice #inasmuch as this is that lol #more like 'what Sky's brain does' #percy's senior year (mis)adventures

[travelling-on-the-octopath]

Okay so I have to rant about Gronder more because it's soooo bad?? Like we have Claude "CRUSH ANYONE WHO ISN'T AN ALLY/C A L M D O W N D I M I T R I," but we also have the Alliance and Kingdom instantly turning on each other because of one incident that was clearly just the Empire fucking with them WHICH YOU THE PLAYER CAN POINT OUT AND DIMITRI WILL LITERALLY AGREE WITH but nope still can't trust the Alliance (and also Dimitri has no doubts the Empire is capable of this but still says he never expected the Alliance to help them?? EVEN THOUGH CLAUDE LITERALLY DID HELP THEM BARELY A MONTH AGO??)! Like what?? And since we don't see Claude's side of things here it literally just looks like he was held at gunpoint by the writers to fight the Kingdom even though HE CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT TO, there's just sooo much dissonance going on it's crazy.

And then it doesn't even matter in the end because this doesn't even diminish Claude's trust in Dimitri later!! And Dimitri just helps Claude anyway in return!! SO WHY EVEN BEND OVER BACKWARDS FORCING CONTRIVENCES ON THE PLOT TO MAKE THEM FIGHT IF LITERALLY NOTHING COMES FROM IT?? (other than to have Claude trust Dimitri with his life despite having just fought on opposite sides and having faith in his recovery when so few others did... someone really wanted these two to have Something goin' on lmao)

It's just. So fucking crazy to me because Gilbert's first instinct to a mutilated corpse is like "So this is how the Alliance wants to respond to our request >:["

MY BROTHER?? IN SOTHIS??? CLAUDE WOULD HAVE JUST SENT A "Thanks but no thanks :P" BECAUSE. YOU KNOW. YOU DEALT WITH HIM. LITERALLY LAST MONTH. ????!??

The fact that Dimitri's probably pretty calm at this point has me laughing myself into pain. Like I think he's pretty much as mentally stable as when he's brushing off Byleth's hand during the Flame Emperor reveal; still spiralling, but single-minded and not in the mood for distractions. So for Claude to hover above him on this dramatic-ass, foreign-to-Fódlan white Wyvern and tell him to CaLM DoWn!!....it's comical. Claude my love what are you fucking talking about. You literally antagonized Imperial loyalists for him. Admitted to not wanting to fight him. What are you doingggggg

And like. As irritating as it is on Verdant Wind, it makes so much more sense; who knows what an army fighting under the Blaiddyd banner is willing to do for their murdered prince? Best not to try and work a tactic around allying with them when it could risk your army's ruination.

(Also just discovered that Hilda confirms it's actively foggy at Gronder, despite what Rodrigue said about not moving until it lifted. So. Uh. IntSys where the fuck was my fog of war? If you're gonna send Claude after my ass can you at least make it a surprise?)

It's absolutely wild to me that, in creating Dimitri to be a genuinely good guy who wants good things (and did several several bad things before realizing that), they couldn't . Uh . Naturally make Claude, also a good guy, his enemy. They had to use the miscommunication trope (my least favourite thing on planet-fucking-earth) to pit them against each other, and even then they're wondering why they're fighting while they're fighting!? They were a little more than neutral to each other when Claude helped them; when the kingdom army crossed into what was at the very least shared land with the Alliance to meet up with Rodrigue and secure troops, and nothing was done about that (the blue glow on Faerghus during FE videos does not include Ailell, so I'm tempted to say it's more Alliance land than Kingdom). Claude did the Kingdom at least one huge favour, if not two (not treating crossing into Ailell as an act of aggression and using that as a way of guaranteeing the Empire leaves them the fuck alone for the time being, because while it's ruining neutrality, it's making them even less of a threat to the Empire; enemy of my enemy is my friend type shit. THAT would have been the schemer the fandom loves to pretend exists, but antagonizing the weakest player on the board is. A shit thing to do. And Claude is not a shit guy.).

Back to the point: they were on the fast track to being iron-clad allies, WERE arguably allies (Myrddin), had an oopsie-daisy 🤭 at Gronder, and then did the whole "race across the country to save you/be saved by you" dance because....well. dimiclaude rights???? I suppose?

Like hear me out here. I would not be so fucking delirious over these two without Gronder. Because if it hadn't happened, it would have been a pretty neat "they fought a war together! They trusted each other with their lives! Allies as kings post-canon! Cool >:3" but NO they gave us "they worked together, were forced into enemies for a crucial battle, and despite (potentially) murdering all Claude's friends, he still has faith Dimitri will come back around, and banks his life on that faith." !?!??? LIKE THEY MADE IT. HIT A LITTLE HARDER? 😭 AND THEN CLAUDE IS ALL "Be nice to me when I come back, okay?" Completely serious, and a little hopeful; no jokes, no winks, just a nickname and a promise.

Like. Compare that to CF, where he's forced to either fuck off or die; SS where he's. well I don't know shit about Silver Snow Claude 😭; and Verdant Wind--HIS ROUTE--where he essentially does the same thing. What other lord is guaranteed their ending on another route? Literally none 😭 Rhea is touch and go as far as Lord status and routes go. EdeIgard and Dimitri kick the fucking can on routes not their own, but to win Azure Moon, Claude has to live, and he has to promise to come back. That is. Absolutely tomfoolery. What am I supposed to do with this IntSys? Not go stupid over it?

TL;DR: Azure Moon Gronder is fucking stupid once you strip away all it adds to the Dimiclaude dynamic. I'm not even saying that as a shipper. Without emotional conflict Gronder on Azure Moon is a fucking waste, and the fact that a mutilated messenger (when everyone on the kingdom's side is essentially like "Uh...yeah Imperial fuckery lol") was enough to make them literal enemies....insane. Out of this world crazy.

#intsys you're so lucky I'm invested in crumbs because this was a terrible move #fe #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #dimiclaude #fe16 #s responds #fea-and-fehf-headcanons

[crystal-the-axolotl]

So apparently i've returned to yell about the ending of Tokyo Revengers...

(Warnings: Spoilers and a sligtly less mad Axolotl below the cut)

The one thing that annoys me most about this ending, is the fact that it could have been great, should have been great, but no, wakui messed it up royaly, and here's why in my humble dumbass opinion:

Yes, i'm still happy that they got an happy ending, BUT, the one thing that bothers me most in this, is the whole errasure of trauma that happened.

I'm sorry but hOW EXACTLY DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT TWO TWELVE YEARS OLD FIXED EVERYONE'S ISSUES, DEFECTIVE FAMILLIES AND MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM, HOW THE FUCK???

I might actually believe the whole Kazutora stuff (in the extend that if Shin didn't die, then obviously his mental health would be greatly improved or clearly did not spiral down as it had before) and so the Baji not dying stuff as well, but no i will NOT accept any fixing of broken families, that is NOT something two kids who're not even part of them can do, this DOES NOT happen in real life. And okay, sure Tokrev asks you a lot of the time to suspend credibility (or whatever it's called in english, sorry i'm a mess) like no, Chifuyu and Mitsuya technicaly shouldn't be alive in a universe where half of the Sanos can get one shot by blunt force head trauma. But fine, i'll buy it.

I won't buy the whole happy bullshit though, because a real happy ending in Tokrev should have been these kids learning how to be happy and functional again after all the hurt, not wakui errasing all wrong that ever happened (i will never forgive him for making Kokonupi basically canon, having them finally come clean to one another, ready to finally have a healthy relationship and then pull this cheap trick and they're not even toghether in the happy ending, what the fuck)

What i also won't buy, is Mikey.

Second biggest problem to me, the entire last few chapters (basically the entire final battle arc after the Mikey/Takemichi faceoff and all of Shin's fucking flashbacks, who by the way, don't make any fucking sense but that's for a whole different issue)

Mikey snapped, completely, so no, i don't give a fuck about any of this, it makes no sense to me that simply going back in time is sufficient to fix his entire FUCKING STATE OF MIND.

We honestly know nothing of time travel, but as far as i gathered, Takemichi's mind, and all his difficulties stayed the same as his adult self when he went back in time. So why doesn't Mikey kept all his issues? Why does traveling back to 1998 somehow fixes everything?

So here's how i believe the time travel should have realisticaly went:

–Takemichi goes back in time alone (if Mikey follows it would be a mess because he's just the same as he was in 2008 and i don't believe that Takemichi's death was a miracle healing (by the way Mikey went completely nuts by the end of Tokrev and i don't mean his sanity, there was literally no need for the fucking final battle execpt the fact that Draken was dead and even then fuck the whole concept of his dark impulses that is absolute bullshit)) he tries to fix things with now the insight of all that happened and maybe prevents:

•Shinichiro's death because of the obvious

•Baji's death as well (should have been prevented in the first place, unfortunately Takemichi is a moron and forgot the whole Kazutora is gonna kill Baji plot two seconds in the Bloody Halloween battle for some reason...)

•Maybe the whole Black Dragon's arc goes even more smoothly

•If he befriends Kisaki the whole killing Hinata and ruining Mikey's life thing could be avoided, and by extention most deaths and issues of the actual entire fucking story (which is why i think it feels like such a cheap ending too, like what was the point of all this suffering if it could all be fixed in less than one chapter?)

–What he can't fix though is the fire (even if he somehow could help save Akane, the fire would still happen because man doens't have godlike powers and can't control unatural dissasters) as well as evey disfunctional relationship there is

–Even if the whole smile Haruchiyo doesn't happen for some reason, the Akashis will have to deal with their mess on their own, a kid can only do so much

–Same for the Shibas and even the Sanos (i believe it would still get to be better for Izana though because if Kisaki isn't on a world domination incel-induced trip and Shin isn't dead then there is no reason for the whole Tenjiku arc to happen the way it did)

–And last but not least, fuck Takehina, in this timeline she ends up with Kisaki because he learns how to actually asks someone on a date (sorry Hankisa stans)

(a spiteful part of me almost wish the story ended at Takemichi's death, that would have made more fucking sense)

Which brings me to my third point, fuck Takehina.

This ship is so fucking toxic (yes more than Kokonupi could ever be, i'm serious) and the age difference in the past is the least of its problems, trust me

First of all, the reason Hinata kept dying most likely was because she wouldn't get over a guy who dumped her twelve years ago and was stuck on him (at least after Takemichi went back in time, for all we know the original reason of her death could not even be related to Toman, especially Kisaki) and we even see Kisaki asking her in marriage (in the Tenjiku arc i believe) but girl still wants Takemichi

And it wouldn't be an issue in itself if she wasn't so stuck on the wrong Takemichi (like everyone else, in a way, you could argue) as in, future Takemichi.

She doens't give a shit about past Takemichi (who by the way is a terrible boyfriend so i can't blame her for that part) but she saw how he could actualy become, and then proceeded to spend twelve fucking years waiting for that guy. Not. Healthy.

Hinata started as a strong character, and then became stuck on one guy, completely throwing away her growth, making her stagnate as a person and loose her independence. And i don't think that's what love should be like.

So Takemichi isn't healthy for Hinata, he's basically the reason she kept dying. What about Hinata for Takemichi you might ask.

Well i don't think Takemichi actually gives a fuck about her (at least not in a romantic way)

I don't know if it's just that wakui can't write romance or that he really meant it this way but i have a similar issue with Drakema. There is no alchemy between these two and that is a huge problem considering they were intended as a romantic pairing. And such a shame really because it could have been a cute couple, and you can tell Draken genuienely cares for Emma, but god, where are the romantic feels?

Like, you might not agree with this (and i honeslty don't give a damn cause they are my favorite ship, yes i'm aware i'm problematic don't worry) but to me there is more alchemy between Draken and Mikey than Draken and Emma! Or even Draken and Mitsuya! I find it crazy that the only two canon straight ships are so bland and tasteless or even borderline toxic (because toxic doesn't just mean physical or mental abuse, it can also mean stopping the other from evolving and being their best version instead of ecouraging them to be better and being a good influnence on them) like take any not canon ship for example, like Mitsuya and Hakkai.

There are some elements that can be toxic (mostly Hakkai's endless admiration for Mitsuya who could turn out to be a problem i think) but these elements are actually pointed out in the story, as potentialy bad for their relationship (during the church fight Mitsuya acknowledges that his expectations of Hakkai might have put unnecessary pressure on him) and they actually evolve and progress individually, become more independent of the other (at least that's the impression this gave me) and grow together as well

Drakema only shows through character dialogue like ninety percent of the time (as in characters talking about how much they love each other but they almost never have any romantic interraction) and maybe i'm being of bad faith with this one because it might be mostly due to the fact that Draken is an idiot who never confesses and Emma is cleary shown multiple times to love him (though i'm still unconvinced about Draken, a lot of this feels like JK saying Dumbledore is gay and then people trying to grasp at strands only to realize there ins't gay Dumbledore in story, thank u and fuck off JK)

So back to Takehina (sorry for the sidetracking, my mind is a fucking maze and this is me trying to practice selfcontrol) worse than Drakema who's just bland to me, the ship is also so fucking problematic to me, like people yell all the time about the Akane thing, but how about that gal who is willing to wait twelve fucking years because this isn't the right Takemichi, what about tHAT GAL HUH?

And what about the guy who agrees to a fucking weddding but actually has feelings for another dude (because as much as Maitake is also so fucking problematic at least i can see why people ship it, there is the fucking alchemy Takehina apparently ate or something)

Also, let's talk about Shinichiro for like two seconds here. What. The. Actual. Fuck?

I know we basically knew nothing of him and that made it unfortunatelly very easy for wakui to come up with this mess that is Shin being a time traveler (okay, not a super bad idea, where you going with this?) Mikey having an accident (oh, more angst, sure feed me some) and then it goes to hell.

The whole old man thing (not really in character for what we knew of Shin, damn) Mikey's dark impulses as a form of punishment (good idea terrible execution in the way it was lost among alk the chaos of the last twenty/thirty chaps) Shin not giving a fuck about Haru murdering people (honorbale mention, because ableism is despicable, but Haru plz don't slash people with ur katana okay?) and probably the biggest crap, Shin passing down his power to Takemichi (like, it makes no sense in story because Shin was never at the scen at that time, and also why would u do that Shin? Why? He's just a kid, didn't u already traumatize Haru enough with ur bullshit?)

Like now i 100% blame Shin for everything that when wrong with Haru, like how is a kid supposed to be fine with all of this (i can only see two reasons for Haru to have known about the time traveling bullshit and that's either Shin telling him everything or him actually being og timeline Haru, in either cases, his head is screwed and that's Shin's fault)

I will share a maybe unpopular opinion right here, but hear me out first. I would have almost (and i can't stress this almost enough) prefered Shin to be revealed as the bad guy, than this entire flashback debacle and this fucking ending.

In all honesty, the final battle wasn't so bad (like the Kokonui reunion was so good, maybe the only good thing about it) but Mikey has been feeling so out of character for the entire final arc, that it kinda made no sense after the whole flashback thing started anymore (which is why, again, fuck traveling back to 1998 fixing Mikey's entire life AND mental health issues, fuck this so much)

So yeah, fuck the Takehina wedding, fuck this so called happy ending and fuck no Kokonupi content (which makes no sense, even if the fire didn't happen, they should still be close, even closer since the entire Akane situation is the reason the drifted away!! Goddamnit!) and fuck Mikey and Shin not making any sense for the entire final battle!

All in all, the concept for the ending could have worked, if wakui just had made an actual effort with this. Inupi isn't Inupi without his burn. Kazutora ins't Kazutora without his tiger tattoo. Haruchiyo isn't Haruchiyo without his scars (even though i'm glad he doesn't get them because fuck Mikey for this so much). This somehow feels disrespectful for the characters to take away all the trama like this (and i mean the ones that happened before 2005, i very much love that my fanged man is alive, that is one of the only good things about this ending really (and also Kakucho, but he should have never died in the firt place))

I think the timing with this was also an issue, one chapter before the end and everything is solved felt very forced. And it's weird because i know stories with this kind of miracle ending sometimes work, but they usually make the entire situation return to what it was like in the begining, whereas here, everything is infinetly better than it was at the start of the story and less than one chapter before it was a total mess. This was a terrible deux ex machina (more importantly, where the fuck was Takeomi, and why couln't he be the deus ex machina instead, that would have been infinitely more funny if nothing else)

Once again, i believe wakui should have ended his manga after the Tenjiku arc, or at least with the Bonten one, or just generaly, fuck the final arc.

I still persist in saying that people have made better fics with a similar concept, or even entire rewritings, overall saying fuck the bonten/final arc and going wild with it, and it actually worked!! This though, didn't, and i think there was many reason why; what i ranted i mean talked about here were just some of the things that annoyed me with the ending or that i felt were problematic to the story and weren't resolved at all even in this so called good ending (like, as much as i bitched about Takehina, i would be less salty about it if their relationship had developed into something more healthy, and also not a romantic one as well!! fuck the Takehina wedding seriously)

Well, i think i'm done here, don't forget that this is only ever my own opinion, based on my own interpretation of the story (i still ptetend that the final arc never happened because the end of it messed with so much theories and interpretations, that is almost funny in itself) and you're allowed to disagree with me (like i love cheese but i won't force feed people fourme de Montbrison just because i like it) just like i might disagree with you. I find it stupid to fight about a manga when there are other topics that are much more important and significant to daily life with opposing opinions that could use actual arguing to make things better (because actions are nice but it starts with talking about it)

I went a little serious here, but that's because i'm aware that what i just did (i.e. this entire post) is a huge waste of my time (it's okay it's the night and i have nothing else to do) and i could maybe spend it talking about more serious and impactful topics than the end of bloody Tokyo Revengers. But that will be for a day when i feel like actually getting defensive about something (i won't force feed you cheese but if you asume that i'm a girl, i will scream behid my computer/phone like a madman)

Have a nice day/night/evening, and stay safe– Mika

#boy that was a long post #Mad Bad and an Axolotl #Tokyo Revengers #Tokrev #Tokyo Revengers Spoilers #Tokyo Revengers Chapter 277 &278 #Tokyo Revengers Chapter 277 #Tokyo Revengers Chapter 278 #I guess #Also i was less upset while writing this so it might be more structured #It also just might be a total mess but whatever #Takehina #I swear i don't loath the ship just strongly dislike it #Maitake #Kokonupi #I'm mad about the ending because of this too now #Fuck wakui for not drawing them together in the future #Drakemma #Mitsukkai #i did ramble about these four for a while #Sano Shinichiro #Hanagaki Takemichi #Sano Manjiro #Mikey Sano #Sanzu Haruchiyo #I want justice for this kid #Long story short this was useless ranting