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astarlightmonbebe · 4 months

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it's easy to read the situation between li tongguang, ruyi, and yuanzhou as a love triangle on a superficial level, but looking even one step further, it's clear that there's no triangle about it. li tongguang is obsessed with ren xin; ning yuanzhou is devoted to ren ruyi. ltg's obsession is fervent and all consuming, but it's not devotion. like ruyi herself notes, his feelings to her are on the basis of her as a mother figure in his life, as a replacement for what he never received from his mother. is there an element of romantic/sexual love/desire to it? maybe. more likely he's deluded himself into thinking that, because the truth is, it's doubtful that ltg even understands what love is (platonic, filial, familial, romantic, all of the above, etc), because he has no basis for understanding. ruyi's teachings and actions towards him are the closest thing he has to hold up as an example. what he wants is ren xin, is a replica of the master he had. he doesn't want ruyi, because he doesn't actually care about ruyi. therefore, he doesn't care if she's sad, angry, mad; he just can't bear her 'abandoning' him. we saw this way back when she first meet and left him, both at thirteen and seventeen. although he distrusts her first, she saves his life and cares for him in the way no one else has, hence her first being raised on a platform in his mind. when she leaves for good, ending their master-disciple relationship/training, even though it's for official business and she's not abandoning him, in his mind that's exactly what it is. so now that she's in his life again, he won't let her leave again. he was powerless before, a child with no proper name, but now he's a recognized member of the imperial family, a man who can meet her as 'equals' (even when that's far from the truth). as a child, he could only cling to her legs and beg her, but now he has the power to keep her by his side. it's telling that when he finally gets confirmation of her identity, it's not ning yuanzhou he seeks to harm (even though he detests him and their relationship), but yang ying. yang ying is ruyi's new disciple, and as ltg doesn't know she's a woman, he only sees her as his direct replacement.

ning yuanzhou, on the other hand, is devoted to ruyi. he wants to build a new life and future with her, instead of slotting her into a spot in the life he already has. he's someone who accompanies her on walks and makes her midnight snacks, who holds her when she needs to be held and lets her go when she needs to do things on her own. when she speaks her mind, he listens, even when it makes him discontent/it's not what he wanted/wants to hear. he sees her unabashedly as his equal, and though he acknowledges her skills and abilities, or points out her naivety, he never does it to belittle her; to him, she is his peer, deserving of the highest honor and respect. he trusts her to have his back, and she has come to trust him to have her. he did what she might have thought no man would ever do: he proved himself reliable, so she came to rely on him. yuanzhou gives her freedom and autonomy as both ren ruyi and ren xin. of course they run into problems, but they both learn and grow from them, as individuals and as a couple. yuanzhou's belief in her is unwavering, but adaptable, whereas ltg's is unwavering, but frozen in time, disallowing for any new information to be presented. yuanzhou works with ruyi to accept the changes thrown her way; he seeks the core behind her actions in order to better understand her. li tongguang cannot accept the changes in ruyi's character, because they run contrary to the master he has on a pedestal in his mind.

what li tongguang wants is to return to the past, but yuanzhou offers ruyi the promise of a future, even one that might never come to fruition. there's no triangle about it.

#star stumbles #my thoughts #a journey to love #一念关山 #cdrama #written right after watching ep 26 #hope i explained it well #honestly i have a lot more thoughts about this ep and ruyi/ltg but that's still a separate post that will happen. well sometime #maybe after ep 32 idk #it's just the juxtaposition between entering a room that is a shrine to the person she is trying to leave behind #and going home to a man who makes her wonton soup and accompanies her on her revenge journey #who offers his own insights and thoughts but lets her lead the way when it comes down to it.#he gives her ultimate control over her own journey. and ruyi who has never had that freedom of course is drawn to him #oh and one more point that didn't make it in #ruyi's confrontation about how ltg is unwilling to give up his power and success is further proof of his obsession =/= love or devotion #it's not that ning yuanzhou WOULD necessarily give up those things if she asked him to #but he would respect her enough to let her go if he knew he was unwilling to give up his position #of course nyz right now is someone who is planning on retiring and living a quiet life away from it all #which is appealing to ruyi #but ltg obviously won't give up his name and success. he wanted an imperial name but now that he got it the avenue has opened up #we saw his big dreams early on in eps 4-5 (before the character butchery...though i can't really call it that since it makes sense #but still drives me insane)#and of course he won't! for a neglected illegitimate child with no power even gaining a sliver of it is just the beginning #and ruyi is honestly so far from the court in that she might have been close with empress zhaojie #but her understanding of the court is very ignorant. not in a bad way but she was a weapon so of course she didn't have to understand that #she just struck when told to. the power games of the court are basic knowledge but they still shock and confuse her #so it's also a thing about living two different lives and different paths #even though yuanzhou and her are on different ones theirs are still compatible #at this point in their lives. as they said earlier if they had met earlier they probably would be trying to kill each other

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soldatrose · 2 months

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no ok one last post but lucan kinda popped off with the pompey&sons fated to die in the three continents pompey triumphed over thing because not only does it give those deaths a very cool generational curse sort of vibe, they also died literally "according to [their] triumphs" aka the pompey triumphs each would have first appeared in (pompey alone for africa in 79bc, gnaeus for spain in 71bc, sextus for asia in 61bc).

#which doesn't mean much but to me it does #something about triumphs feels a little like an offering to rome you can't come back on.#i know the real reason was water but i now choose to believe gnaeus tried to escape and spain just stretched its arms #and brought his ships back. like nope. a future poet of mine said this is where you die. nothing to be done.#anyway. i say 'would' bc there's no proof for sextus being at that last triumph and the gnaeus coin is debated but that's what seems #to be the most logical assumption.#end of human pomp #spam tag

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deiaiko · 2 months

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#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

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theladyyavilee · 1 year

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do you ever think about how buck was able to pull and lift eddie to safety, while eddie wasn’t able to either pull or lift buck? like I know the physics were different and eddie would be able to pull and lift buck under the same circumstances that buck did it, it was just impossible to lift him up onto the ladder in contrast to doing the standing lift buck did to get him into the firetruck but still WHAT A FUCKED UP PARALLEL to incorporate both pulling and lifting again *screams into hands* (also to have both of those instances in the shooting be the only times eddie is making noises of pain, which while horrifying to hear were also indicators that eddie is still very much alive to feel it, while buck was just quiet and dead, but that’s another kind of fucked up)

#9-1-1 #buddie #nobody does parallels like 911 #yes I am still stuck on the lightning strike #and the visuals and the parallels #and eddie's desperation as he tried to pull buck up #he must have known from years and years of experience (and an innocent but intimate familiarity with buck's body) that he wouldn't #be able to pull him up like that #and yet #our base instinct is still to pull our loved ones in close because proximity does help with protecting someone #offers your own body as a last resort to shield them so OF COURSE it's instinct to pull buck close #but eddie can't #he can't even do that when buck did it for him #(also eddie screaming in pain when buck pulled him and lifted him is one of the reasons why I have trouble believing that eddie doesn't #remember it because I would imagine that that pain cut through the hazziness and confusion and burned the impressions into his memory right #next to buck's blood spattered face but aslkdfjasjkl obvs there's no proof for that)#either way I am convinced eddie knows that buck pulled him to safety and he couldn't #anyways #hello yes #I am having a parallel breakdown on this fine sunday morning

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podcastwizard · 23 days

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Your ask box says "ask and you shall receive". So here i am, asking for your hand

but i need my hand for things. like type on computer and eat sandwich

#mm sandwich #if you want my hand in marriage i'm gonna need proof of a title an honorable family and sizable lands #for my dowry i offer three dollars and a mostly used ulta gift card

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malewife-babygrrl · 9 months

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Gabriel and beelzebub are yaoi, crowley and aziraphale are yuri.

#you know im right #i offer no proof or argument #but i AM right #good omens s2 #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy

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roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid · 1 year

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FROM THE WIKI?!!?!?

#THE SOURCE IS IN A LANGUAGE I CAN'T SPEAK AND IT OFFERS AND NO OTHER PROOF SO I CANT READ IT #I HAVENT SEEN ANYTHING ON SOCIALS EITHER HAS IT BEEN CONFIRMED?????#dallon weekes #i don’t know how but they found me #idkhbtfm #idkhow #idk how but they found me #dallon #ryan seaman #razzmatazz

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ivie-online · 5 months

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was going to comment on the ‘failure of basic journalistic dilligence in the mass media’ or whatever but realized it would make it seem as of the problem was a momentary lapse in integrity that had been addressed. and it hasn’t been, not in the slightest.

It is so morally unthinkable that these major outlets never once mentioned the thousands of Palestinian adults and children stolen from their homes and from the streets by Israel. And even now, when it comes to their release, these pieces spend endless paragraphs describing Israeli ‘hostages’, but just a few words on the many children being returned (many of whom were arrested after being accosted by the IOF), who they refer to only as ‘prisoners’.

these white supremacist rags have been very consistent in their efforts to uphold the most violent tendencies of western imperialists, yes. but this refusal to acknowledge the reality of the situation: that Israel took thousands of hostages first, is one of the most blatant examples of their explicit support of this project, and of their mass failure to recognize the humanity of Palestinians.

#palestine #from the river to the sea #western journalism #liberalism #one uses a single sentence to describe how easily Israel kidnaps palestinians #but never once refers to these captives as anything other than prisoners #there’s a connection to be made to the dehumanization of those accused of crime and held in torturous conditions in western jails & prisons #but to state plainly that the iof is harassing/kidnapping/and jailing children for YEARS #without offering so much as a paragraph to define administrative detention #namely the lack of any evidence/proof that wrong doing has occurred #and then complete loss of contact with family and the outside world for these palestinians #it’s so deeply evil

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http-byler · 1 year

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Lucas Sinclair was Will’s first kiss. I won’t be taking questions at this time.

#my proof?#im queer and I said so.#it was just a peck yk?#Will was confiding in Lucas that he feels like he’s missing out on something big #and he’s like. afraid that he’ll never be kissed bc he refuses to kiss a girl and they live in Hawkins…#and Lucas? he just offers to kiss him #that way he can check that box. get that experience everyone else already got #and at least it’ll be with someone he loves and trusts (even if it’s soley platonic)#it’s short and simple & Will blushes like crazy but they both just smile & go back to chatting (the thank you goes unsaid. tho not unheard)#(mike loses his mind when he finds out. complains abt it all the time.#but Will needs only to remind him that his first kiss was with his step sister and Mike shuts right up)#byclair #byler #<in the tags at least #the wise #the ranger #egon & venkman #the heart #elijah speaks

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akibluna · 1 year

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Bridesmaid $500 short of rent, could go homeless!

My bridesmaid and her gf could really use some help raising money for rent! If you can't donate some then just share this around please! They could really use the help! There are three people living in this house. Unfortunately the gf's brother is currently looking for work so he has no source of income. As far as the gf goes I know she was recently made permanent from temp so because of that they're not paying her for like three weeks because of the transition so the only one paying the rent right now is my bridesmaid and she can't afford it on her own.

I don't expect you to donate for free. I am offering my reading services for free if you show me a screenshot of proof that you donated to the gofundme. I am offering:

A celtic cross reading for either love, finances, health, spirituality, or any general question, your choice.

An intuitive oracle card reading from the dragons I work with which can range between 1-5 cards depending on the intuitive pull, this can be any question you need advice on.

And a yes/no pendulum reading, max three questions.

If you cannot afford to help please share this around at least! It goes a long way!

#gofundme #go fund them #please help #will offer my services for free with proof of donation in the DMs or inbox #fundrawing #fundraising

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hallucinateonpaperspines · 25 days

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someone bothers Ashley during her Shark week, ......it doesn't end well? Do the bots know about that tid-bit about human females bodies ( otherwise ratchet is going to panic) ?

oooohhhhh boyyyyyyyy; I got plans for this. Mostly of the humorous variety.

The "humanness" aspect of Ashlyn and the kids has kinda been on the back burner for a bit due to some necessary lore, relationship building, etc that's plot-relevant, BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. The fun will be coming soon

I'm using Ratchet as a little bit of a buffer for the weirdness, Ashlyn, unintentionally, set off a human research-binge early on so the medic has already gone through all the stages of grief and preparedness. That includes period care.

I know some fics have it where a Cybertronian's sense of smell is sensitive enough to pick up blood, but not react to some other orders like sweat for some reason, I don't have that in this fic. If anything, humans are more sensitive than the typical bot. EHem- so there isn't any obvious sign that waves down everyone's attention that Shark Week has begun.

They're not getting out that easy.

Ratchet has an entire robot-sized shelf dedicated to feminine hygiene products, from tampons, cups, and pads (reusable and normal), to pain medication and heating pads. He's even splurged on more just-in-case products. Man is covering all bases.

And he may also be sneaking in the occasional hormone scan for both Ashlyn and Miko, whenever they give him the opportunity for a check up.

That said, there aren't any obvious changes that set off any red-flags. Miko might be a little quieter and more lethargic, and Ashlyn might be quicker to snap between hyperactive antics and silent calm (she might also let that sadistic smile slip a bit more often) but neither are clawing at the walls, bawling their eyes out, or threatening murder. Because they're not stereotypes from the internet, they're real people to who a period is a sucky addition to normalcy.

SO, in the Autobot base, where Ashlyn does have her privacy respected, there really isn't much that is really event worthy. Ratchet, ever observing is ready to step in should anything "get weird" on behalf of both human and bot comfort. Other than a brief reminder via organic consuming organic food, Team Prime has been able to avoid the squishy and alien parts of humanity.

That is not always going to be the case.

Say... a group of aliens vocal about their disregard for the organic population? Perhaps containing an individual recently traumatized about the "grossness" of that populace? A group completely unprepared to deal with the nitty-gritty of care beyond keeping that thing alive? That same group already ticking off an emotionally turbulent individual who is now also dealing with hormone fluctuations, cramps, and cravings?

*cracks knuckles* Now THAT is a Shark Week.

#ao3 author #ao3 #tfp #transformers prime #aligned continuity #of timelines and trolleys #ashlyn moore (oc)#periods #Ash may bleed but its not her blood that would be spilt in that situation #JA322 would see the offering of chocolate as proof

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