#Officer Responding (answered asks)

[eloquent-edits]

Hello!!!!

I'm writing a rivals to lovers office AU and am in need of some inspiration. Can you please do a list of office AU prompts? I don't mind if they get suggestive.

Absolutely! (Also thank you for being the first person to request prompts :3)

Character A and character B have issues with their work computers at the same time, and the poor IT guy has to deal with their bickering while fixing the computers

The printer is constantly breaking and A can’t help but snidely remark on B’s struggle every time it happens

B critiques A’s work whenever they get the chance, claiming A needs to do better if they want to get up to B’s level (the criticism is actually kind of helpful, just poorly worded)

B’s desk is across from A’s, leading to stare-downs when the other seems to be slacking on work and eyebrow raises when personal calls are taken

A leaves anonymous sticky notes on B’s desk about office drama, rumors, and random news stories to see what sort of conversations B likes (B usually looks at these with confusion, throwing them away buT THEY KEEP SHOWING UP WHY)

In the company project group chat, A and B don’t acknowledge each other outside of emoji reactions unless it is necessary

They are forced to work together on a major project with much longer hours than they expected, leading to sleep deprived A actually being nice to B in the mornings (they share a quiet moment at the coffee machine)

B’s ex comes into the office as another company’s assistant, and A can’t help but be concerned at the grimace and pain in B’s eyes

A starts using the printer incidents to ask about B’s history and get to know them better

A celebration at work includes a happy hour, so B dresses up just a little more than usual and A cannot stop staring

B notices A is lingering around their desk more and teases them about wanting to take their spot (A definitely wants to take them in a fight right?)

A’s car won’t start in the parking lot, so B offers to jump it… it’s the first time seeing B less professional (let’s get those sleeves rolled up and a couple buttons loosened from the button-down)

The AC breaks while only a couple people are in office, meaning it’s up to A and B to try and fix it while waiting on maintenance, leading to B on a ladder and A most definitely trying to not stare at their butt

C, an older friend at the office, retires and throws a massive party where A and B get a little too drunk, and B accidentally compliments A instead of criticizing them (A doesn’t know how to process it and B refuses to acknowledge this ever happened)

After A openly disagrees with one of B’s ideas, B confronts them privately, getting a little too close as A is stubborn and standing firm (give me that tension you can cut with a knife, give me that turn away because otherwise one of them will do something they regret)

B finds A asleep at their desk one morning and can’t decide whether to wake them up for the meeting or to let them sleep longer because this is definitely not normal for A

Turns out A worked their ass off to get a major promotion, one that B was eyeing for a while, which makes B jealous and get a little snappy

A is shifted to another area of the office and an annoying coworker, C, takes over the old spot. B finds the change welcoming and unsettling (“They’re not here to bother me anymore…” “That’s a good thing!” “… Yes. I suppose you’re right.”)

B is called into A’s office to discuss another coworkers’ weird behavior, which gives A the opportunity to call B out on their behavior around A

“It’s like on day one of me working here, you put a note in your calendar that said to torment me whenever you could.”

“You’ve gone from criticizing everything I do to actually being somewhat nice and helpful and then right back to being an absolute prick! I don’t understand it at all. What changed? You still seem to hate me, so why be so kind? Why?”

B doesn’t respond with words, just by slowly reaching out to touch A’s hand and swiftly pulling them into a kiss (ideally B would explain more later but that’s up to you hehe)

#answered asks #prompt request #writing prompts #writing #prompts #prompt list #character dynamics #rivals to lovers prompts #rivals to lovers #dialogue prompts #imagine your otp #office aus #office au #also very sorry for the delay in responding! #it’s been a really hectic week #and the next two weeks are going to be just as insane

[queerbuckleys]

Hiiii AJ 💕💕💕

Surprise! You have been given a magic writing pen by the 911 writers that lets you write/direct an episode for the new season however you see fit. Tell me about the episode you’d love to see!

GIVE ME MY MOCKUMENTARY EPISODE!! cause news is different than documentary ya know — I don’t know if you watch the rookie but their documentary episodes are so fun! especially the talking heads!

also i desperately need them to somehow get involved in fire sports (it’s a real thing and i’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called) i really feel like they would absolutely kill it as a team. but also in the sports realm — baseball ep. for the love of god.

so maybe we can work those things into the documentary.

#also i’m burning the loft to the ground that’s the one emergency they respond to #ask aj and they answer #steadfastsaturnsrings #the office being my first fandom is a heavy influence here

[wrongarmofthelaw]

relaxation: what does my muse do to relax? do they find it easy to carve out time to relax?  ( for Fiona & Matt )

Fiona likes to watch TV, read newspapers and comic books, go out with friends, play and do crafts with the kids, talk with Matt and cook. She doesn't always find it easy to relax because her job and her secondary endeavor to help the supernatural community plus being a mom with young kids keeps her really busy.

Matt finds it easier to relax as when he isn't patrolling he is in the role of stay at home husband and dad. He'll often listen to music or have TV on in the background while he does various household chores, he'll play with the kids and teaches Sammy some simple cooking skills. He'll pet Dipper and take him out for walks. On the weekends, he'll take the kids to parks, zoos and other places they enjoy. On occasion he'll go out for drinks with friends and visits them to hang out when he isn't busy with other stuff.

#Off Duty (ooc) #Profiles (about the muses) #Fiona #Matt #Officer Responding (answered asks)

[dimity-lawn]

As a fellow acuphilliac, I find myself rather confronted by the idea that pins are a childish hobby. What if I don't want to move on to stamps? They're sticky, most of them smell of cabbage and the mark of a truly "great" stamp is when it has a mistake printed on it!!! You don't get that kind of nonsense with pins, I miss opening up a copy of Total Pins and settling down to do some polishing, what are your thoughts on this new fangled "stamp craze"?

Sincerely,

A fellow Pinhead

Dear Fellow Pin Enthusiast,

I disagree with the idea that pins are a childish hobby. After all, where would the sewists and needlefolk be without pins? I dare say that without pins we would all be running around clad in the altogether! What a shameful thing indeed! And where would those sewists and needlefolk be without the community of pin enthusiasts? Someone has to know what's what in the world of pins, someone has to know what a proper needle should look like, and someone has to maintain standards! If it weren't for pin enthusiasts, the sewists and needlefolk would be in a sorry state indeed, with no one to correct their bent, blunted, and rusted pins. They might even go around using the wrong pin for their project or using a pristine collectors pin without appreciating what they have!

You needn't move on to stamps if you do not wish to. I wouldn't advise someone to trade a hobby they enjoy for one they find disagreeable or even loathsome. There are still those of us who are still "pinned" on pins, and there will surely be more in the future.

However, I don't believe that I would describe the traits you mention in stamps as nonsense though. You must consider that the pin and the stamp are entirely different items. Stamps are sticky because they must be able to stick to a letter. How would you feel about a blunt pin? As for the scent, perhaps cabbage isn't a favorite fragrance among the people of this city, it is nice that Mr. Stanley Howler was able to celebrate the local agricultural industry. And while I suppose it does seem odd that the mark of a great stamp is a mistake (because how are you to know if the stamp is real or fake?), but don't some pin fanciers enjoy an amusingly mis-made pin or imperfectly marked pin? These can make the rest of a collection even more special.

The loss of Total Pins is truly unfortunate, for you don't often find someone so knowledgeable in matters concerning pins as Mr. Howler, and perhaps we never will again. I do believe, however, that we should try to consider ourselves fortunate for the guidance he did offer us as well as the information he shared with us, and that we should try to be happy for him in his newfound interest, as well as acknowledge how his work with stamps has helped our city. At least there are other pin focused publications to read, and you can still settle down to do some polishing.

I suppose my thoughts on this new craze are thus: everyone may find their own interests and hobbies as long as it does not harm another person. While perhaps it was wrong of them to say that pins are a childish hobby, they certainly were not the first to say so, and I think it would be best to not retaliate with rude statements, but to try to reach a mutual respect for each other. And who knows, in the end this new craze may be merely a fad. In the meantime, think of it this way: the people changing from pin enthusiasts to stamp enthusiasts will likely be getting rid of their collections, so now may be a good time to add to your collection, whether by finding a specific item, a bag to sort through, or both, not to mention pin papers, polish, and other such things. Furthermore, some of those pins may be in need of a good polish.

Best Wishes,

Dimity Lawn

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #going postal #pins #stamps #stanley #stanley howler #ankh-morpork post office #ask #answer(s) from yours truly #responding to this made me feel somewhat like a 18th/19th century newspaper/magazine editor #i really didn't expect an ask like this i hope my answer is satisfactory

[phrynewrites]

teachers au bosco giving big 'i had a crush on a girl and didnt know how to deal with it so I wrote her a note that just said get out of my school' energy 😂

Literally that’s the whole energy fjdjffj like I could fully see Bosco complaining about Jasmine like “And she rambles on about nothing and she thinks her little puns are funny and her dumb soft sweaters are cute and she’s always asking me what I think about some new lesson she planned and it’s like ugh get out of my school”

And Korn’s nodding along, preparing those relationship disclosure forms that that they’re for sure going to need as long as Bosco doesn’t literally tell her to get out of the school

#I could fully see Bosco rolling up fo Korn’s office and be like I need counseling give me the counseling #and Korn’s like…this is a service for children but whatever sit down tell me about that little blonde one #Bosco would genuinely spend like 4 hours and waste a whole pack of cards trying to write out a silly but flirty candy and gram #to respond to jasmines which again ugh so annoying are actually funny but in such a dorky way #almost writing *get out of my school* so they don’t have to deal with the feelings #but teachers au bosco has been pushing off dealing with the feelings #acting like a literal middle schooler about love #so they’ve got to figure out how to deal with it #asks answered #for anon #jasco teachers au

[evergreen-lyricist]

Hawk, ask game

hi myth!! thank u so much for asking😊

fair warning some of this will be presented sans context bc i am Sleepy & spoonless.

Full Name: Hawk Johnson (*middle name undetermined)

Gender & Sexuality: cis guy, unconcerned about sexuality given the givens (currently has bigger worries)

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity: Korean (adopted by white parents; not culturally immersed)

Birthdate: April 19

Guilty Pleasure: watching the stupidest kdramas he can find & passing it off as "an important part of language acquisition"

Phobia: probably thasolophobia (however it's spelled) which is fear of the deep ocean & what might be in it

What They Would Be Famous For: in-world, it's entirely possible that Hawk would be kind of Known within the Draconic community & supporters bc of his relationship with Attemoon. it's rare enough for humans & Draconic humans to be together, let alone have kids, that they would get a decent amount of publicity regardless of how quiet they decided to keep it. (he is insistent that they keep Luna's face out of it though.)

What They Would Get Arrested For: honestly?? he probably wouldn't get arrested. i can't think of a situation he could get into that could lead to that.

OC I Ship Them With: Attemoon!! they are amazing together & he loves her sooo much😊

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: no one!!

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: a toss-up between action/adventure & romance

Least Favorite Cliche: definitely the possessive love interest

Talents/Powers: Hawk is pretty much a normal dude, but I'd say his big heart is pretty important in the narrative

Why Someone Might Love Them: Hawk has a very beautiful & distinctive smile. there are a lot of reasons someone might love him, but that's one thing that Attemoon loves about him in particular; his real smile is like a sunbeam breaking through the clouds.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: in-world, some people are going to hate him because of his relationship with Attemoon & everything that comes with that. out of world, there is no reason for anyone to hate him & I'd be very upset if anybody did.

How They Change: Hawk is kind of a passive person. not all the time, but especially at the beginning he definitely lets life lead him where it may. this is partly a cultivated part of his persona & partly the result of some emotional issues. over time, Hawk gets better at being assertive & speaking up for himself, instead of deflecting.

Why You Love Them: gosh. I love Hawk for a lot of reasons, but the one that sticks out to me is that writing him allows me to heal some things that he struggles with that also hurt me. like, Hawk & I are both Korean &, for one reason or another, culturally disconnected & feel inadequate because of that (holy oversharing Batman). in that sense, we can walk together & heal those wounds together.

#ev speaks #answering letters #myth my beloved.... #cannot stop thinking about the scene where Magsie goes to get Hawk from his dorm bc Attemoon kind of really needs to talk with him!! #& also she's worries bc he is not responding to her messages & calls!! #Magsie finds him & his room is a grade A depression cave. like 'aled last when frances finds him at uni & he fuckin sonics away' type cave #& he tells her that the financial aid office told him his parents stopped paying for his tuition & he just told them he was working it out #spoiler: he was not. his parents cut him off financially bc they r upset with him for being friends with Attemoon #(they are dating but Hawk's shitty parents don't need to know that) #& Magsie is just. aghast. she takes him back to the house & tells Attemoon can she please hold this conversation tomorrow & is like. #'Hawk ur parents are shit & i can be your new mom' & he's like 'more like mother-in-law (gettit bc im dating ur daughter)' #& this is around the middle of the book so the storm ain't over yet. but things go vaguely uphill from there. #is it really found family if u found it through romance?? Hawk asks the important questions

[haojun]

Trying to get my boss to do anything he needs to do for me to fully start training for my new position is worse than pulling teeth

#he tells me 'you have to do xyz FIRST before you can do anything else' #and then i ask 'ok great so can i get signed up for xyz training classes then?' and its radio fuckin silence #he doesnt work in my office he works in another office so hes only here 4 days every month at the end of the month #so i have to teams or email him or call him for everything #but he doesnt answer his phone he doesnt respond to my questions in teams bc he doesnt full read what i asked #and gives me answers that have nothing to do with what i just asked him #i asked TWICE now about getting signed up for this training that is the one thing holding me back from moving desks #and both times he has read my message and then not replied #im just so frustrated... does he expect me to sit here with my thumb up my ass for months on end??? #he sent me a list of trainings i can do in the meantime but im literally on the last 2 trainings from that list.... #so what do i do after that.... cant be on the phones cant be on the counter cant take clients cant do that training i need to be doing.... #if im not doing anything just let me go home at this point or at the very least let me bring a fuckin book to read #christ this is so fucking ridiculous

[earthtooz]

x : TO LOVE, TO CHANGE: *+ﾟ

in which: you tell veritas you love him. he gets upset with you.

warnings: contrary to what the synopsis implies, it's fluff, i promise. 1k words, first time saying ily, slightly cranky reader, no mentions of reader's gender, dr. ratio being so in love he becomes so soppy and lovestruck. confessions.

a/n: there's a phenomenon that happens whenever i write for dr. ratio, and it's that my heart literally lunges out of my chest and begins typing at the keyboard for me. i should get it checked out. anyways, this is to preemptively celebrate his release!!

“Why- why are you mad?” You exclaim, watching the way Veritas crosses his arms and pouts with the petulance of a child. His gaze has strayed away from your eyes, and all you can do is sit in his lap with your arms hanging at your sides, brain tirelessly racking for all the reasons that you could have angered him.

He doesn’t give you any clues, displeasure brewing in his eyes instead.

“Is it because I said ‘I love you’?”

The purple haired scoffs and sticks up his nose, hair bouncing with his actions whilst you jostle slightly on his legs from the quick action. As much as you love his side profile, you’d love it even more if he spoke to you about what is bothering him.

During this moment, the world stills. You think he’s genuinely mad, and Dr. Ratio’s fury-driven state is not something you should take lightly. Really, you’ve seen it multiple times, and though it has never been directed at you, you hope it never will be. Which is why you sit on his lap now, tensely anticipating his response, and for the answer as to what you did wrong. 

“I was meant to say it first,” he grumbles, losing the arrogance that fills his tone whenever he speaks, air filling with sincerity. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I was meant to be the one to say ‘I love you’ first.”

Your confusion is tangible at this point. Audible, if you will, because it rings like cicada sing. “Are you being serious?”

“Deadly.”

“You- why, then couldn’t you just have said it?” You sputter, slapping his defined deltoid, concern slowly melting into frustration. “Need I remind you that it was me who confessed to you first as well?”

“Yes, and it was positively the best day of my life.” He says that like it’s a simple fact. No sentiment, no heartfelt declaration, just another logical statement straight from a textbook of his life.

They say to be loved is to be changed, but no matter how much you love Veritas, all he knows is how to be an astronomical pain in your ass. Does he know how scared you were for his answer? You thought you did something unforgivable, or that he didn’t love you enough to respond in kind, or worst of all, that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore?

However, he's acting petty because he was not the first one to say those three words? You frankly don’t know why your heart beats for him as strongly as it does. In fact, you want to whack him over the head with his own codex.  

Placing your hands firmly on his shoulders, you shuffle out of your position from his lap, planting your feet onto the ground. “Oh, you are so infuriating! Pretend I never said anything, I’m going back to my office until you-”

Not even two steps away from him and a hand clasps around your wrist to drag you back to where you started: on Dr. Ratio’s lap. His arms come to wrap around you like chains, leaving no room to wrestle him out.

“I never said you could leave. Especially not after telling me you love me,” he grumbles lowly into your collarbone, breath tickling your skin.

“I’m starting to regret it.” 

“Can’t you at least say it again?”

“I don’t want to,” you grumble, arms snaking up to rest around his shoulders. “You don’t deserve it.” 

“Well, that’s a little harsh. Is this how you treat the ones you love?”

“You haven’t even said anything back,” you pinch his skin. “Talk about harsh.”

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he asks with a fond chuckle, not missing the opportunity to leave kisses in a trail along your skin, making his way up your neck. Then, when his eyes meet yours, you almost crumble in embarrassment at the memory he’s injected into your mind. 

You push him away and raise a hand to shield your eyes from him, clearly reliving a haunting memory. “Please don’t remind me.” 

“Y’know, it’s not everyday someone gets to scold me and be right. If you weren’t so beautiful, I wouldn’t have let it slide, but it’s not everyday a gorgeous genius falls into my lap with guts to challenge me.”

“I was… agitated that day, so stop talking about it, please. In fact, for my sake, please just forget that moment. Completely.”

“Forget about it? Completely?” The scholar asks with genuine shock lacing his tone. “I fell in love with you in that very moment, how can you expect me to stop talking about it? You rendered me a fool in love and expect me to not think about the very moment it happened? Sweetheart, it was a pivotal moment of my life!” 

“Not pivotal enough if you can’t even say ‘I love you, too’.”

“On the contrary, I have loved you longer. I yearned for you in wakefulness and in my dreams. I wished for you to look my way, and when you did, I never wanted your eyes to stray from me. How heartbreaking it was when they did.” His hand has snuck under your shirt now to rub circles on your skin. If he detached from you, he fears you’d slip away from him, and the worst thing you can give him is space. “Do you know how it felt chasing after you because you were the only one out of my reach? For three years, the only thing I wanted was to be yours. You made me an idiot.”

Stunned by his confession and the weight of it, you let him continue, sharp tongue softening. The only motivation you offer is a hand coming to cup his cheek, tucking aside his bangs so you can see his expression in its entirety. 

His gold eyes shine when they look back up at you. For the first time, you feel like you’re seeing the parts of him that Veritas hides from everyone else. 

“I love you.” He continues with heart wrenching devotion. “I’ll continue loving you until the streams stop, the rivers freeze, and the oceans dry. With three hundred thousand, eighty-three thousand, five hundred and seventy-one discovered planets in the cosmos, that phenomenon will approximately take-”

You seal his lips with yours in a gentle kiss, cradling his jaw and swallowing his words. Like wax to fire, Veritas sinks into you, completely helpless against your affections. 

But, oh, you love him, and nothing else in the entire universe matters.

© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

#earthtooz: honkai star rail #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

Important information about the new Tumblr update https://www.tumblr.com/disco-cowboygirl/723379686371098624/so-what-is-the-threshold-in-declaring-whether-this?source=share

Hello there, Anon! That sure was an interesting read. Doesn't look like my dash has been affected so fingers crossed it stays that way.

#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks #responds HOURS later bc I hate answering asks while at the office

[malledhrim]

the amount of times a client emails our shared office email asking me specifically to talk over the phone to answer some questions on the services our office provides when really i know nothing and sit at my desk all day like

#i get WHY #it's bc i respond to their emails when they send in requests so they see my name in the signature #but also i know NOTHING #i can answer super basic questions but literally nothing this office does is anything i'm trained in #idk jack shit about any of our processes after they get logged in aside from who might be researching them #i'm just a little birthday boy who sometimes interacts with clients and otherwise does a lot of data entry #sure i include a lil 'pls let us know if you've got questions' in most of my emails but really i mean #feel free to ask but 9 times out of 10 someone who isn't me is gonna answer it

[pathologicalreid]

nicknames | S.R.

in which you meet the team for the first time, and receive your first nickname

who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: reader is referred to as a girl. i have this headcanon where when reid's IQ gets slashed to 60, he'd get so distracted that he'd run on autopilot, hence the willingness to handshake.

word count: 591

a/n: happy finals szn! this fic has been rotting in my brain for weeks and i finally decided to flesh it out. and maybe you should like and reblog this if you enjoy it (no pressure tho)

You were still filtering through your entry paperwork when the rest of the team filtered into the bullpen. David Rossi, who had helped you land this job in the first place, nodded in your direction before disappearing into his office. “Hey!” Someone called from across the bullpen, “Y/N, right?” Emily asked, setting her go bag in the chair at her desk before making her way over to your desk.

Smiling in response, “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you responded, reaching your hand out for her to shake. It was nice to be in the BAU, complete with a promotion from Special Agent to Supervisory Special Agent.

JJ walked over next, waving, and introducing herself as the communications liaison. “I’ve heard a lot of great things from your old CARD team,” she said, “I’m sure your skillset will come in handy here.”

You nodded in affirmation, “That’s the hope!” You answered, smiling at the prospect of your old team singing your praises.

Next, Derek approached, reaching out his hand for you to shake. Of course, you obliged and grinned at him. Part of you felt like you were meeting celebrities, the BAU was a big deal in the bureau. “Derek Morgan,” he introduced himself, “How long were you with CARD?”

“Five years,” you responded, it was a long time for anyone to deal solely with child abduction, but your team had the best rate in the bureau. Besides, you found the work rewarding.

Morgan’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “that’s impressive.”

You nodded, “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to working with you all.”

JJ looked behind her, “Oh, have you met Garcia?” She asked, peeking around the corner to where the technical analyst's office was.

Glancing down at the cat-shaped stress toy that she had given you when you arrived this morning, you smiled, “Yes, she was the first to greet me this morning. I think I’m just missing Dr. Reid.”

As if on cue, the young doctor walked into the bullpen, he had a worn leather satchel over his shoulder and looked like he might be talking to himself, “Reid!” Emily called over, getting his attention, and causing him to change course, approaching your desk. “Come meet, Y/N.”

He adjusted the strap of his satchel over his sweater before you reached out your hand for him to shake. “Oh, he doesn’t…” JJ began, but her voice trailed off when Dr. Reid shook your hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” you said, smiling at him. It felt good to know you had finally met the entire team.

He gave a close-lipped smile in return, “Reid is fine, or Spencer.” He said as you each dropped your hands to your sides.

Noticing everyone looking back and forth between the two of you as if you had already managed to do something wrong, you gathered all of your paperwork in your hands, “I should get this to Hotch.”

The rest of the team got the message and started to disperse to their respective desks, Reid’s being adjacent to yours. “Welcome to the team, pretty girl,” Morgan said to you before turning to his own paperwork.

You hugged your paperwork to your chest as if you were protecting it. Quietly, you muttered, “I really hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”

Across from you, there was a short laugh, almost a scoff. “It will,” Spencer responded in the same reverent tone. For a second, you thought it might be a joke, but you could tell by his facial expression that he was serious.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #david rossi #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #written by margot #spencer reid x fem!reader

[propertyofwicked]

YOU OWE ME - LN

warnings: none, just fluff (inspired by that one CL stream). this is so short pls forgive me

(also, anyone else seen the pics of lando in aus? FERAL for that man.)

“tier 1 sub - max can you tell lando to get off his computer and let me in the flat please im freezing” max reads out, bursting into laughter, “youre in trouble mate.”

max hears a travelling shout of swearing, getting quieter as lando’s headset is thrown to the desk and his entire body hurtling towards the front door.

“shit shit shit shit,” lando shouts, his fingers struggling with the keys left on the inside of the door. finally he manages to unlock the door and pull it open to see his girlfriend, rosy cheeked and a less than impressed expression.

“lando, how many times have i said to take the keys out of the door if you lock it and im not home - especially if youre not going to answer your phone.”

“im sorry baby, im sorry i know - i forgot,” he mumbles, his hands taking yours and bringing them to his face. he flinches slightly at the sheer coldness of your fingers, “do you want a drink? hot chocolate? tea? coffee? it’ll warm you up”

“i’d love a cup of tea,” you smile sadly, shrugging your horribly thin jacket off. honestly, with the typical english winter, your jacket was almost useless in combatting the cold winds anyways. you move to follow lando into the kitchen, watching him fill the kettle and move to grab a mug from the cupboard.

“come here,” you say, opening your arms slightly for lando to move into. he moves to you instantly.

“you’re not angry at me?”

“no, i am. youre just warm” you say, looking up to smile at him. his hands fall to your waist, gripping your hips and hoisting you up to sit on the counter, but he doesn’t move back into your embrace. instead, his arms move to take his hoodie off himself, and pull it over your head.

“better?”

“slightly,” you're still smiling at him as you adjust the hoodie - lando can tell you're not angry at him, just slightly irritated.

“the heating’s on, my office is warm - you wanna go sit in there whilst i finish your tea, angel?” he asks, his hand stroking your cheek, “max is on call if you wanna talk to him for a bit? he’s streaming but you already know that,” he grins, his tongue sticking into the side of his cheek.

“i think max’s chat deserve to know how bad of a boyfriend you are,” you joke, hoisting yourself off the counter, ready to march on in and complain to the stream. lando’s hand catches your arm, spinning you back into his chest. his hand comes back to your cheek, and tilts your head back.

“im sorry baby, you know i am,” he frowns slightly - you reassure him that he is forgiven by pressing a small kiss to his lips. once again you go to move, but he pulls you back in, kissing you again - repeatedly pecking kisses all over your face and eventually your lips. his tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging for more. you pull your head back slightly, desperate to go and rat him out to max but his teeth nip down on your bottom lip again to prolong the connection.

“i don’t think so, lan,” you giggle, smiling up at him again. lando groans and swears you almost skip your way to his office, excited to tell max as he prepares for a night of grovelling.

“max. you’ll never believe this man,” you sigh, after popping lando’s headset on your own head.

“y/n! how are you?”

“freezing, max. and £10 poorer now i’ve had to sub to your twitch to be let into my own flat.”

“oh yeah, thanks for the sub,” max laughs out, looking at the chat, “it’s ok, chat reckon you should invoice lando for the inconvenience.”

“i think i might have to you know, although he’s making me a cup of tea right now and i might be able to pout my way into a takeaway tonight.”

“y/n that man is so whipped i don’t think you need to pout your way into him doing anything for you,” he responds, his emphasis on anything making you grin slightly.

minutes later, lando comes into the room, using his foot to kick the door open in front of him, his hands full with your mug and your lip balm. hang on, lip balm?

“here you go baby,” he says, placing the mug down on the coaster on his desk, “i put honey in it for your throat, and i brought your lip balm ‘cos your lips are dry,” he grins as he hands you the lip balm.

“my lips wouldn’t be dry if you’d answered the phone the first time i rang you,” you say, the eye roll evident in your voice, even to max who couldn’t see your face.

“hang on, y/n, how does he know your lips are dry?” max interrupts, his laugh travelling through the headset.

“because max, when two people love each other very muc-”

“ew stop it,” lando interjects, as he sets up a second set of headphones to join in the chat.

“he’s trying to regain my love with physical affection.”

“i can tell from your tone that it’s not working.”

“well, after that ‘ew’ i think i may have to revoke all physical affection.”

“you wouldn’t,” lando gasps, his hands dramatically clutching his chest.

“order dominoes and ill reconsider. you owe me.”

“yeah lando, and send her £10 to cover the cost of the twitch sub,” max shouts, siding with you, “chat also think you should, as a courtesy.”

you don’t say anything, but turn to look at him, puppy dog eyes and a pout to complete the look.

“fine! fine,” he laughs again, holding his hands up in surrender, “i was going to offer anyways.”

“sure you were,” you and max manage to say simultaneously.

-

an hour later, your food had arrived and your saying goodbye to max and his chat, as lando goes to the door. however, by the time you shuffle into the living room, lando has began setting up netflix, sat next to a mound of blankets he’d brought in from your bedroom.

“hey you, come ‘ere,” he says, leaning his back against the arm of the sofa and tapping the space between his legs. once you were settled, your back resting on his chest, he leans to grab the pizza box on the coffee table in front of you - it went down quickly.

“funny how hungry you get when you’re left shivering in the freezing cold for hours," you think out loud.

“it wasn’t hours and i didn’t do it on purpose y/n,” lando whines, scoffing slightly at the time embellishment, absentmindedly playing with your fingers as he did.

“i know baby, i’m sorry. you’re forgiven,” you start to feel bad for him. he presses a kiss to the top of your head, before manoeuvring you both further down the sofa until he’s laying completely flat, and you roll over so that your head can lay on his chest. the two of you lay in silence for a few moments, the tv still playing quietly in the background, and you feel his chest moving with every breath.

lando's hands wander underneath his your hoodie, and begin to trace small shapes on your skin, making you shiver slightly. then, a thought hits you.

“someone needs to make a compilation of F1 drivers accidentally locking their girlfriends out because they’re streaming,” he laughs as you say it, your whole body shaking from the shuddering of his laughing, "it seems to happen more than you'd think."

“hey! i wasn’t streaming - max was, i was just there. AND! i paid you back, charles never paid his girlfriend back for the sub.”

“oh, aren’t you generous.”

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #propertyofwicked

[shotmrmiller]

Inspired by @rookiesbookies Capt. MacTavish & Soap fic

So, imagine going to sleep as 09 Ghost's widow only to wake up next to reboot Ghost.

It's agony. The face of your late husband stares at you with a murderous glint in his eye holding a sharp knife to your neck.

"Who the hell are you?"

He digs the knife into your skin when you tell him that you're his wife and try to prove it.

You say his full name. Birthday. What kind of tea he likes, and how he takes it. Favorite food. His shoe size. But he doesn't believe you.

Anyone can find out information like that.

So you tell him that his late older brother was named Tommy. His wife was named Beth. He almost slices your throat when you tell him of his capture and torture.

Simon's vicious, cruel. Literally drags you by your hair across the base, straight to Price's office. You've met him before too, but seeing what giving out too much information got you, you opt to stay quiet instead.

You only answer the questions he asks, never giving anything more.

No, you don't know why you're here.

No, you obviously mean no harm.

Yes, in your time, Simon Ghost is your husband. Was.

When Price asks what you mean by that, you tell him that he was killed in the line of duty, serving his country.

He solemnly gazes at you and gives you a small apology you don't respond to, then looks at Ghost, ordering him to keep you in his room.

You try to hide your quivering lip when Ghost sneers, "I don't want her anywhere near me." It's hard to remember that this isn't your late husband when it's his voice saying those harsh words.

And harsh he is. He forcefully takes you by the arm with a bruising grip, and throws you into his quarters- letting you fall onto the hard floor.

"Look at me," he firmly commands.

Trying to hold back your tears, you do as he says, and he scoffs at your somber countenance.

"You will remember tha' you don't know me." He approaches you and squats down to be at your eye level.

"I am not your husband," he gruffly says, "And I intend to keep it tha' way."

He leaves you on the ground in his cold room, and you finally shed the tears you've been holding back.

You desperately wish to wake up from this nightmare, because your dead Simon is a better alternative to this one.

part 2

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #dimension travel #? #cod mw2 #cod mwii #simon riley #simon riley x reader #drabble

[wrongarmofthelaw]

hc + 🌸 for a plant-themed headcanon//Fi!!//

Fiona doesn't deal with plants that often outside of helping with some local community gardens and the plants friends like Liz and Emily own, usually because she has too much of a busy life to look after plants. She enjoys the break from her city life to help them nurture plant life and bask in the calmness of greenery or natural surroundings.

#Off Duty (OOC) #Profiles (about the muses) #Fiona #Officer Responding (answered asks)

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Yuu is Loopy and Doesn't Recognize Them

Based of this meme I saw and I couldn't get it out of my head

GN. Yuu isn’t drunk but is loopy on potions/meds. A bit Suggestive??? Leona calls you Scavenger/Pillow Enjoy

Riddle 

Riddle swore that when he sees Ace again, it will be off with his head. The brain dead idiot is responsible for landing you in the nurse's office. Thankfully, according to Professor Crewel, you will be okay and were ready to go back to Ramshackle. 

Being the responsible boyfriend he is, he made sure to take your arm and guide you through the mirror to Ramshackle and into the creaky dorm. You were obviously still a bit out of it as you stumbled through the hall and didn’t appear to hear anything he said. As he approached the stairs, wondering how he would get you into your room did you speak.

“Where are we going?” You slurred rubbing your temples with your fingers. “To your room,” Riddle answered. “Rose, can you hear me now?” Riddle asked, voice tinged with worry. “Why are we going…” you paused trying to formulate words, “…to some room?” Riddle raised a brow and spoke slowly, relaxing his grip on your arm as he did so. “You need to get some rest, don’t worry I’ll make sure you sleep well, okay?"

To his confusion, you suddenly pulled away from him and stumbled back a little. “Ah, Rose what are you—“ “Sorry you seem really nice and all but I have a boyfriend.” “Huh?!” Stumbling backward away from Riddle you practically fell onto the couch behind you. “Sorry I’m not gonna sleep with anyone, I have a boyfriend…” You slurred again, making Riddle stiffen before going pink and letting out a chuckle. 

“Rose, I am your—“ “Goodnight” You whispered before promptly passing out on the couch. Riddle just stood there for a moment stupified, before softly chuckling to himself. You really did love him, huh?

Leona

“What's wrong with you?” Leona asked upon seeing Ruggie drag his seemingly blitzed-out partner behind them into his room. “I dunno what happened but Professor Crewel said to let them rest,” Ruggie responded. “So you brought them to me?” Ruggie’s face fell, he knew damn well if he were the one to take you home that Leona would have complained. “Well, they’re your problem now shishishi! Good luck”

Letting out a yawn, Leona looked over to where you stood wobbling. “Come here, Pillow.” The lion leaned up and pulled you toward the bed. You weakly tried to pull your hand away. “Eh? What gives?” Leona’s ears twitch as you stumble back. “My boyfriend will get upset if he sees you holding my hand. “Oh yeah?” The lion smirked.

“Yeah, and I’m not a cheater either so leave me alone.” You mutter, eyes fluttering as you fight off sleep. Leona pulls you closer to him easily. “I am your boyfriend.” The shocked expression that arises on your face is one he will never forget. “No way that's awesome!”

“Yeah yeah, get to bed, scavenger.” He smirks, pulling you into his arms. As you fade into unconsciousness, he watches over you. Just how did he get so lucky?

Azul

Azul didn’t know who he should be mad at: Jade for feeding you some mysterious mushroom concoction that he sure would have no side effects or you for actually agreeing to test out Jade’s new drink. Regardless you are now in the VIP room of Mostro Lounge as Azul goes through some of the potions he has on hand. 

Sitting on the VIP couch you watched as Azul kneeled beside you. The mer fussed over you as you seemingly stared through him. Despite his lips moving you couldn’t hear anything he said. “Um, Angelfish are you alright?” Azul asks nervously as your eyes bore a hole through him.

“You kinda look like… my boyfriend…” you slur. If he wasn’t worried sick, he would have actually found the situation humorous, dumbfounded he responded. “Well, what does he look like?” “He’s so beautiful, man.” You sigh.

Azul feels his cheeks heat up as he uncorks a curing potion, wondering how he’s going to get you to drink it. “Like… I love him so much… He’s so pretty and soft and I wanna hold him…” “… Come now love, try and drink this and then rest…” The mer stutters and holds the bottle to your lips. Thankfully, you downed it pretty easily and promptly fell asleep muttering about how much you loved your boyfriend the whole time. Azul’s face was several shades of blue.

Jamil

Vil ended up poisoning you pretty badly during his overblot, and Jamil has been worried sick, to say the least as he sits beside your bed in the nurse's office, impatiently waiting for you to wake up. As you begin to stir, all of Jamil’s attention snaps to you.

“Yuu?” He calls out, giving you a few moments to stir and wake up. You blink tiredly at him before sitting up and looking around. Jamil wanted to crush you into a hug and ask if you were alright but knew that it may overwhelm you.

“Are you alright?” He asks, taking your hands into his as the heart monitor continues to beep. You blink owlishly and look at your hands. “I have a boyfriend.” You say after a while. Jamil didn’t know if he should be annoyed or amused, but it did flatter him to know how loyal you are to him.

A mischievous glint appears in his eye. “I am your boyfriend.” Your eyes widen as the heart monitor picks up, beeping loudly as you smile. “I love you…” You slur, trying to lean into your lover's touch.

Vil

After a certain Shroud’s overblot, you were left hospitalized in a coma for a week. Vil was worried sick and visited you as much as he could, if he couldn't be there, Rook would watch over you for him. When he saw a text notification for Rook saying you were awake, he went to visit you immediately.

Rook didn’t have time to warn Vil about your condition as he walked in and immediately held your face, looking deep into your eyes before hugging you, body shaking as he held onto you. “You’re awake…” He says after a long pause.

You pull away from Vil, and the blond gets ready to scold you for your reckless behavior until he notices your expression. "I have… a boyfriend named Vil… sorry…" you babble before passing out again. Vil would make sure to scold you later

Idia

He was confused when he saw Ortho holding your hand and guiding you to his room. He didn't know how to explain it, but as he watched you through the camera feed something about your movements felt… off

Once Ortho dragged you into his room did he figure out what was wrong? "It's the side effect of their medication," Ortho said after explaining how you ended up in the nurse's room— why did they even discharge you in this state??

Idia groaned and started to clean off his bed to make room for you, before getting up and helping Ortho to guide you over to his bed. "Come on Yuu-shi the sooner you sleep the better." You didn't budge. Instead, you stared through him. Idia stared back awkwardly.

"You seem nice but I already have a boyfriend and I love him." Idia's hair flushed pink. "Eh? What did you say?" "I love my boyfriend and only him so I can't sleep with you…" 

You instead sit down slowly and lay on the floor, immediately falling asleep much to Ortho's confusion and Idia's embarrassment.

Malleus

"Oh dear, what happened to you?" Malleus asked as you stumbled up the path to Ramshackle. It was supposed to be your nightly walk together but you didn't look so good.

You didn't respond as you allowed Malleus to help guide you into Ramshackle and onto the couch. After a moment Malleus asks again, "Mind telling me what happened to you?"

"No worries, I happen to have a recovery spell I can use…" Malleus hums, preparing a spell. "You sound like my boyfriend…" Malleus chuckles. "Is that so Child of Man?" You lazily nod. "He's my most favorite person in the entire world…" you yawn, and Malleus can only admire you, lovestruck. 

"I don't think Jade made me the right tea…" you mutter as you lay down. Malleus makes sure to note that he would have to pay a visit to Jade later as he frets over you.

#not requests #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #leona kingsholar x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

[badjokesbyjeff]

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

#funny #jokes #humor #lol #comedy