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#Oh Blimey
mischieffoal · 3 months
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It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
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russellius · 10 months
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get yourself someone who looks at you the way george looks at himself
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akaanonymouth · 1 year
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Rules: Write the latest line from your WiP (or post where you last  left  off in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the   line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.
Tagged by @pers-books
WiP 1:
She wants to lean forward and capture her lips, lick into her warmth and swallow all the lush noises Bernie makes, but the barrier her brain has erected is a solid mass between desire and deed
WiP 2:
Bernie opens her eyes when Serena moves from her side and she feels the absence of her warmth, when the mattress dips
Idk who's tagged, so no pressure, go for it if you want :)
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autumns-dusk · 8 months
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The Sirius bobble is making all the big decisions for today.
I can’t seem to find him, oops.
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Kitchen Nightmares is really just like
Owners: i don't know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help
Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food
Owners: we have the best food
*food comes out*
Gordon: this is an alive rat
Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.
*dinner service*
Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat
Waitress: is everything okay?
Customer: no it's an alive rat
*food is sent back*
Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat
*Gordon goes in the freezer*
Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They've unionized.
*later*
Gordon: your food is bad
Owner: no!!!!!!!!
Gordon: yes
Owner: oh my god our food is bad
*remodel, menu change*
Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much
Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?
Owner: yes of course
*end of episode*
Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*
End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.
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papercorgiworld · 4 months
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He had it coming, you had it coming
You try to put the guys in their place, but you’re in over your head.
Mattheo and Theo
Warning: short smutty story with some noncon!
I’m also writing something longer that involves all the Slytherin guys. I’ll probably post it somewhere between next week and never, who knows…
Mattheo Riddle
Mattheo always had had a short fuse, getting in more trouble than necessary, but the past week even looking at him the wrong way had him throwing punches or spells. So, the Weasley twins should’ve known better. Pulling pranks on Slytherins always was a risky game, but the wise thing would’ve been to postpone the plan of mischief and wait for Mattheo to return to his slightly more reasonable self. However, Fred and George were not known for their wisdom or patience.
You had just left the library and were on your way to your dorm, when you saw George being hit with a spell and being blasted against a wall. Leaving Fred shocked and vulnerable for an old fashioned punch. Instinctively you run towards your friends. As Fred falls to the ground, you see Mattheo pointing his wand at Fred. Without thinking you pull out yours and disarm Mattheo. You should’ve left it at that, but your frustration with the Slytherin had been building up and just reached its boiling point. With a swift flick of your want you threw him several meters back.
The hallway is filled with an immensely thick silence, a symptom of the tension. It is only then that you realize how many students saw the whole ordeal. With his wand far away, Mattheo crawls up from the floor defeated. You look at him still shocked by your own actions. His dull and defeated eyes quickly turn into scowl. “Brilliant!” You hear Ron yell from somewhere in the crowd and you actually feel satisfied with your actions. “McGonagall's coming!” Suddenly everyone scatters. You quickly pick up Mattheo’s lost wand, without anyone noticing, and walk away with your friends. “He had it coming.” Is all Mattheo hears you say before you leave his sight.
***
The next morning you go sit with the Weasley’s, when you mention you have Mattheo’s wand you get mixed reactions. Fred and George: “Wicked!” Ron: “Blimey, you really are a mad genius.” He emphasizes the ‘mad’ part. Harry panics. “That’s Voldemort’s son, what were you thinking?” No support from Hermoine. “You know what Hogwarts’ motto is.” Ron comes to your defense. “The dark lord’s spawn over there really was no sleeping dragon. He was terrorizing everyone.” Hermoine simply quirks an eyebrow. “So do your brothers.” Before the conversation escalates Ginny chimes in. “How about you return Riddle’s wand as a peace offer.” Harry mocks her words. “Peace?” Ginny simply tilts her. “Oh, you have a better idea?” Harry is silent for a moment. “Beauxbaton is a good school.” You stare at him for a moment in disbelief. “I’m not leaving Hogwarts! He’s just one guy. And I have you guys.” “Yeah, except for first period.” Hermoine points out. “No worries, Riddle always skips the first hour of class on friday.” Spoiler alert: not today.
During class Mattheo had been lounging in his chair at the back of the classroom, his eyes never leaving your back, his cocky smile ever present. You on the other hand had been chewing your lip for an hour. When class ended you practically ran outside, only to realize halfway that you had forgotten your notebook. Expecting the classroom to be empty by now you carefully open the door, stepping inside. “Professor?” “Better.” Mattheo says, closing the door behind you, locking you in. All your senses are heightened as you turn to him. “I’m here for my notebook.” Mattheo nods, grinning as he holds your book. “This?” He asks feigning innocence. “What do you want, Riddle?” You snap at him. He walks over to you with anger in eyes, but stops only inches from you. “My wand back.” He takes a step pushing you back. “Maybe, my dignity back.” Another step, you hit one of the desks in the room. You can’t back up anymore and he towers over you. “But mostly, you.” His lips smack onto yours, pushing you onto the desk behind you, hips clashing into another. Your mouth falls open when he squeezes your ass, giving Mattheo the opportunity to deepen the kiss. He keeps rolling his hard dick against your pussy and the sensations start building up, making you moan. This is the only signal Mattheo needs to unzip his pants, revealing his hard cock to you. A simple ‘oh’ is all that escapes your mouth at the view. Mattheo makes quick work of your panties. He lines himself up with your cunt, teasing your folds with his tip. “You had it coming, love.” Is all he says before turning you into a moaning screaming mess.
Theodore Nott
You and Nott had been academic rivals and you got on each other's nerves a lot, but never like this. Professor Slughorn stared at you with a frightened look as you turned your entire bag upside down in search of your 6 page essay. You were going insane, you had worked too hard on it for it to just disappear on the date you had to turn it in. “Well, you can always turn it in tomorrow.” The professor offers. “But then I will lose points for being late. I swear I have it here somewhere.” You can hear Theodore snicker in amusement as you’re losing it. Then it hits you. Of course. Playing dirty to make sure I don’t steal your top of the class spot. Oh, but, I can play dirty too, Nott!
You come up with a genius plan, to have your revenge. In between homework and rewriting your potion’s essay you manage to gather all the ingredients you need. The next day you make your way to the kitchens, carefully calculating where Theo will sit and from which cup he will drink. You’ve always been friendly to all houselves so when they see you’re up to no good, they look away allowing you to carry out your plan. You hurry to make your way to the great hall for breakfast and watch as Theo drinks his orange juice like a good boy. You are already having so much fun knowing Theo will get into trouble because of you.
First up: poisons class. You take up your regular spot next to Neville and Theo goes to sit in the back by himself, since his potion’s partner is as always skipping class. The first time you look over at Theodore he’s scribbling down notes next to the instructions in the book, the next time you glance over his head is on the table and he’s softly asleep. You smile content with the result of your scheme. You see Slughorn squint his eyes a few times in annoyances as he looks over to his favorite student sleeping in class. Right before the end of class, Slughorn makes his way over to Theodore to slam the book in front him shut with a hard thud, waking a very confused Slytherin. “I must say I’m disappointed in you. Am I really boring you this much?” Theodore’s eyes widened. “No professor. I, I don’t know what happened.” “Did some girl get you all exhausted, Theo?” Blaise snickers, making everyone laugh. “No need for jokes, Zabini.” The professor dryly states, disappointment all over his face. Blaise raises his eyebrows suggestively at Theo still waiting for an answer, but he simply shakes his head. No, no girl kept me up all night.
He scans the room, gathering his books as everyone is making their way to the door. His eyes fall on you, you’re looking the other way but he can still see a mischievous smile tugging at your lips. Maybe there is a girl involved after all. As you leave with your friends Theo hurries behind you, overhearing you talk. “After what he did, he had it coming.”
You’re still enjoying the image of Theodore’s confused face during class as you walk alone to the DADA classroom. Suddenly a strong hand grabs your wrist pulling you to an empty hallway. “You played dirty, (y/l/n). Why did you do that?” You scoff, pulling your hand from Theo’s grip. “You stole my six page essay. You know how long I've worked on that.” Theo takes a step closer, clearly frustrated with you. “I did not steal your essay. I don't need tricks like that to be the best.” You poke his chest with your finger. “You did. Admit it! You played dirty.” He grabs your hand and pushes you against the wall. “I don’t need to play dirty to out best you in poisons.” You fall silent as his body pushes against yours. You make the mistake of looking in his eyes, sparking something inside of him.
“But, I might just play dirty with you.” With that he grabs your arm and turns you around. Your hands rest against the wall keeping you steady as his weight presses against you. “What are you doing?” You manage to whisper while his lips brush your ear and cheek. His lips settle on the flesh of your neck just below your ear. You gasp and throw your head back a little, resting on his shoulder. With you distracted by the sudden kiss his hand quickly slides up your inner thighs. Before you’ve properly processed where he’s going Theo has already slipped his hand down your panties, two fingers exploring your folds. You’re still locked between the wall on which you rest your hands for much needed support and Theo’s warm weight against you back as he mercilessly digs his fingers in your pussy. Soft whimpers leave your lips and Theo presses himself even more against you. “Are you enjoying yourself?” When you don’t immediately respond he starts circling your clit even more. You want to protest, but all you do is moan his name. “You’re close aren’t you, princes?” You bite your lip to keep yourself from screaming as he says the pet name with a husky voice. You only nod as a response to his question.
Then suddenly his fingers leave your desperate cunt and his warmth also disappears as he takes a step back. A weak sound of protest leaves you and he simply stares at you with a cocky smile as you push your thighs together to deal with his sudden absence between your legs. He licks your juices off his fingers and turns away from you. “What are you doing?” You ask, way more desperate than you intended to. “Playing dirty, princes. You had it coming.” You watch him walk away, craving his touch.
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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unrequited - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 535
"Is Your Love Unrequited? A Quiz for the Wishing Witch," James read from his stolen copy of Witch Weekly.
Sirius laughed, leaning his head back on Remus's lap, nudging his arm to signal he'd like the taller boy to play with his hair. "Go on, then."
"If you answer yes to five or more of these questions, he's interested," James continued, settling back on his pillow and skimming over the text. "Oh, this is.." he rolled his eyes, making a gagging noise.
"No, read it, I need something to wash all the Arithmancy from my brain, my head aches!" Sirius pushed, groaning only a little when Remus's magical hands moved to massage his temples.
"Alright. First, he initiates physical contact," James recited, eyes flickering up at Remus and Sirius.
Remus's hand stuttered for a second, but continued, combing through his hair. "Obviously those editors don't know Padfoot," he laughed. "Remember the time he greeted every new first-year with a hug?"
James and Peter both chortled. "I forgot about that!" Peter laughed.
"Two, he remembers details about you," James read, smirking a bit.
Again, Remus's hand stalled before continuing.
"Well, I'm fucked. I have a shit memory," Peter piped up, breaking the awkward silence.
Remus looked down at Sirius for a second, meeting his eyes. Damn, Remus's eyes were so beautiful. He could stare at them for days..
"Three, he makes lots of eye contact," James continued, shocking Sirius out of his thoughts.
Remus's hand stopped completely, now, coming to rest on Sirius's shoulder. "So...I can't make eye contact without girls thinking I fancy them?" he joked halfheartedly. But the entire time, he was looking at Sirius.
"Maybe I should stare at Evans more..." James murmured, only for the other three boys to interrupt with a chorus of "No!"s.
But Sirius felt a bit nervous, now. This was becoming more than a coincidence. "What's the next one, Prongs?"
"Erm, yeah. Four. He gets jealous when you've dated other people," James read.
Sirius froze, mulling this over in his mind. All the times he'd avoided being with Remus when Remus brought a girl to Hogsmeade. All the times Remus had seemed extra moody after he'd brought someone back to the dorm...
"Blimey, sounds like Pads and Moony!" Peter said unhelpfully, an oblivious grin on his face. "I don't think either of them has ever liked someone the other was dating!"
Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Remus, now. "Ha, yeah," he muttered. "Last one, Prongs?" Might as well get it over with.
James looked back at the magazine, only to laugh out loud. "Five," he read with relish. "He introduces you to his friends."
Silence.
"A strong foundation of friendship and mutual friends is important in a relationship. If he wants you to be friends with his-" James continued with a shit-eating grin.
"Alright," Sirius interrupted, head still on Remus's lap. He sat up, looking at Remus.
Remus looked back nervously.
"Well, Moony. That's five for five. According to the magazine, we're mad for each other. What do you think?" he asked hesitantly.
"I think James and Peter need to leave the room," came Remus's reply, making Sirius grin like an idiot.
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f1version · 9 months
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THE SLIP UP SERIES ★ LH44 version
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pairing: lewis hamilton x singer! reader ( she/her )
summary: You and Lewis are known to be really close friends, but sometimes the adrenaline of a win or a show makes you slip up some secrets.
or these requests
note: what a busy week! but i’m finally making an appearance… for this au / version lewis wins silverstone !!
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YNNATION’s tiktok page
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10,726,155 views
ynnation Yesterday, Y/n confessed us #Daylight is about, long-term friend and F1 World Champion, Lewis Hamilton! Aren’t they the cutest?! 💘☀️ #TheErasTour
LEWIS HAMILTON’s team radio
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lewishamilton’s insta story
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lewishamilton
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Liked by yourusername, mercedesamgf1 and 1,726,927 others
lewishamilton 104. This feeling, sharing it with my home, it’s everything. Thank you to everyone in my team for their unwavering support. Feels like the first one, what a dream.
Also, a very special thanks to @yourusername, you give me strength, we rise together, we fail to hide our relationship together. I love you forever. 💜🤞🏾
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yourusername IT WAS JUST HARD OK? i tried
lewishamilton WELL if it makes you feel better, i think i made it more obvious
yourusername “i love you baby” OF COURSE you did
mercedesamgf1 Thank you PR for giving us those last words 🙌
lewishamilton i had to BEG
yourusername oh? 👀
mercedesamgf1 yeahh oh???
yourusername You are a daylight. I love you too 💜🤞🏻
yourusername
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Liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and 5,827,826 others
yourusername Kansas City I can’t stop loving you. Thank you for everything. All the cheering, screaming, jumping, dancing, singing at the top of your lungs. Thank you for singing "Dlaylight" with me after that little secret I told you. You were a mesmerizing crowd, love you all 💜💜💜 See you 🔜 Denver
PS Daylight is not the only song about @lewishamilton. Congratulations on P1, Lover. 💜🤞🏻
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lewishamilton Love you to the moon and to saturn!!!! wish we could be two places at a time 🫶🏾
yourusername Same, just don’t slip up more things 😭
lewishamilton YOU STARTED
yourusername AND YOU FOLLOWED
lewishamilton WHAT CAN I SAY one single thread of gold tied me to you
yourusername DONT USE MY LYRICS AGAINST ME U DORK
lewishamilton I JUST LOVE U
yourusername ME TOO
georgerussell63 aw blimey now i’ll have to watch you being more lovey dovey than usual 😔
mercedesamgf1 And that is a blessing, George
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cardansriddle · 4 months
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Sugar - (tom riddle x fem!muggle!reader)
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Summary: Perhaps it was an accident. Or perhaps the fates were mocking him. He had not meant to venture into the little coffee shop and he had most definitely not meant to return. But he kept coming back and the waitress kept putting sugar packets near his coffee every damn time.
Warnings: Tom gets possessive halfway through so it's pretty tame for him. not proofread. oh also self-indulgent crime & punishment debate (got a lil carried away).
A/N: 5.5k words but it's kinda mehh. to the person who requested this, i hope you enjoy it at least a little <3
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
Tom felt as if he was a solitary figure in a world hushed by the winter's harsh embrace. With each step he took away from the desolate building of grey against the pristine canvas of winter, he felt lighter. He did not cast a look back towards the orphanage looming behind him, instead focused on the sound of the snow crunching beneath his feet as they led him further into the dark street cloaked in a thick layer of snow.
The wizard knew if he spent another moment in that cursed place he would have lashed out and killed someone, so he had hastily thrown his coat and emerald scarf around himself before slamming the door shut behind him. 
Two more years. He thought to himself. Then he would be out and would never be obligated to return again. Perhaps he would even burn the place to the ground if his plans worked out in his favour. 
The air was crisp, and his breath materialized in front of him with each exhale. His eyes quickly scanned the narrow empty alley for a suitable quiet place where he could pass his time. There was nothing interesting, except for the tiny bookstore nestled in the corner of the street that emitted a warm, golden light through its window. Tom quickly decided it would do, and he strode towards the place with purpose. A small bell chimed as he entered the place, which he quickly realised was a bookstore with a cosy coffee shop tucked inside. 
He inhaled the pleasant aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixed with the scent of weathered books. Before he could lose himself entirely in the intoxicating symphony of scents, a sudden, loud thud echoed from behind the counter, jolting him from his reverie.
"Blimey!" someone cursed, their voice slicing through the tranquillity. Tom found himself rooted to the spot, curiosity piqued, as a figure suddenly emerged from underneath the counter.
It was a girl. Unabashedly, his eyes traced the lines of her features, noting the delicate curve of her jaw and the cascade of hair that framed her face. He assumed she was around his age if not younger and he stared at the girl as she rubbed her head, wincing when she hit a particularly soft spot before she realised that she was not alone in the shop. She froze like a deer caught in the headlights and he watched as her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. 
Tom, still an observer, saw more than just the blush; he discerned the subtleties of her response, the way her eyes momentarily widened before seeking refuge elsewhere, fingers fidgeting with the edges of her knitted cardigan.
She attempted to compose herself and met his eyes. "Oh! Sorry, sir. How may I assist you?" She asked cheerfully, resisting the urge to duck her head down to avoid his intense stare.
He crossed the small distance to the counter. "I'd like a coffee. Black."
"No sugar?" she inquired, to which Tom raised a single brow. Her blush deepened as she quickly averted her eyes from his face.
"Right, of course. You may take a seat while I prepare this for you." With a nod, she hurried to fulfil his request, leaving Tom alone with the lingering scent of coffee and old books that were now intertwined with a pleasant smell of vanilla and sweet— 
It was her perfume, he realised with a start.
He hastily removed his coat and scarf before plopping down on the nearest armchair. His gaze remained fixed on the girl, absorbed in the rhythm of her practised motions as she prepared his drink, her movements seemingly both effortless and comforting. There was an almost lazy grace to her actions and he continued to watch as she sang under her breath so softly if he had not been staring so intensely, he would not have picked up on it. 
He wondered how he had never noticed this place before. He had been passing through this little street for as long as he could remember but for some reason, he had only stumbled upon it today. His sharp eyes darted around, instinctively searching for traces of magic, half-expecting the discovery of a hidden passage to the wizarding world but he quickly realised the place was undeniably, disappointingly muggle. 
Muggle.
He tore his gaze away from the girl at the mental reminder of what she was. He fished out a book from his bag and opened it to occupy his mind. 
The subtle shuffle of her approaching steps drew his attention back to the present, and he met her gaze as she placed the steaming cup of coffee before him. A sugar packet sat innocently beside it. His eyes lingered on the packet for a moment before lifting coldly to meet hers.
She, however, was undeterred by the intensity of his glare. “In case you change your mind.” She smiled at him softly before turning on her heel and walking back.
His gaze lingered on her retreating figure, and then, almost involuntarily, it dropped to the innocuous sugar packet.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
Tom did not know why he had returned. Truthfully, he had not even noticed his feet had led him here until he was in front of the familiar wooden door that led into the coffee shop. Perhaps he had thought more than he should’ve about the disgustingly soft smile of that girl for the last five months. She was an insolent muggle, yet here he was, walking into the place as if he had never left. 
The seasons had blurred since he had last been here. Winter had long surrendered to the warmth of summer. He had to spend at least a month in the orphanage, and he was hoping Malfoy would invite him over for the rest of the summer. 
The place was just as he remembered it. The only difference was the lack of Christmas decorations. He faltered only slightly when he took notice of the girl behind the counter, already staring at him. She had not changed much. Her face was the same, less pale perhaps, but the same, nonetheless. The oversized knitted sweater that once enveloped her had been replaced by a little white sundress, and his gaze involuntarily lingered on the exposed smooth skin.
“Welcome back!” She greeted him cheerfully, and he was not surprised she remembered him. “What can I get you?”
“Black coffee,” he replied curtly
She nodded as if she was expecting it. "Coming right up." Gently shutting her book, she gracefully moved towards the coffee machine. Tom's eyes couldn't help but trail to the volume she had been reading, and to his pleasant surprise, it was Dostoyevsky. He had not pegged her as someone who would enjoy Russian literature, with its weighty and morally morbid themes. In his mind, she seemed more likely to be a Jane Austen enthusiast, with her intricately written romances and flowery prose.
“It’s 'Crime and Punishment'." He suddenly heard her soft voice declare, and he looked away from the book to give his attention to the girl. Then feeling as if she had said something silly, she blushed and looked away quickly. "Though I'm sure you figured that. I just wondered why you look so surprised." 
He replied before he could tell himself not to. "I did not imagine you as someone who would enjoy this." 
Emboldened at his words, she turned to face him, a hand casually resting on her hip as she sported a cheeky smile. "Am I to presume you imagine me often?"
His sharp inhale was audible as he absorbed the unexpected shift in her demeanour. He had not expected this shy, timid girl to tease him so boldly. She was a little vixen.
But he did not give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of him. A lazy raise of his brow was the extent of his acknowledgement before his gaze wandered towards the rows of bookshelves, feigning indifference. "Do you have another copy? Perhaps I shall like to reread this evening."
She frowned, walking over towards the table he had occupied last time to set his coffee down. He grimly took notice of the sugar packet placed near it. "I'm afraid not. But you can have mine." 
"No, that is quite alri—" He began to decline but she had already crossed the small distance between them and was holding out the thick book. He hesitated for a moment before his fingers closed around the object, careful to avoid touching hers. 
The girl smiled and walked away before he could even say thanks. Not like he was going to. 
Settling back into the soft armchair, he opened the book only to freeze at the sight of a name scribbled on the front page and he knew it belonged to her. The wizard rolled the name around in his mind and determined that it suited her. He stared at her name for a minute longer before turning the page and delving into the content of the book. 
He had been so immersed in the story that he had not noticed how the time had passed. The gradual hush of the coffee shop's ambient sounds finally penetrated his concentration, and he distinctly heard the girl approaching him. 
"I'm sorry to disturb you but we're closing in five minutes." She looked at the book in his hands. "You may return it once you're done." 
He hummed and looked down at where he had stopped. 
"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken."
He wondered if the universe was trying to tell him something. 
Tom found himself caught in the silent narrative of this stranger's presence.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
He returned the next day.
She looked up to see him enter, the sleeves of his button-up shirt rolled up. 
Tom placed the book on the counter. 
"You finished it in one day?"
He shrugged. "I'm a fast reader." 
She gave him a small smile, turning to make his black coffee before he could ask for it. "Every time I reread it it takes me a few days." She paused for a moment, turning to look at him over her shoulder. "The usual?"
He nodded. "The usual." He debated whether or not to voice his next question, and decided one conversation with the girl would not hurt.
"Why do you read it so often?"
"Each time I find new details that make Raskolnikov's character more complex. Each time I discover these small little things I missed the last time I read it becomes so much better. Plus I enjoy his moral dilemma."
He hummed, his curiosity piqued. He took his usual seat and watched as she brought his coffee and set it down in front of him. "Enlighten me." He gestured towards the seat in front of him. She hesitated only for a second before taking a seat. 
"Raskolnikov is obviously a complex character. His actions are driven by a desire for power and superiority, a belief that he is exempt from conventional morality. However, one could argue that his internal struggles and eventual remorse suggest a more nuanced exploration of morality." 
Tom furrowed his brows. "I see him as a product of his environment, a desperate man driven to extremes by the harsh circumstances he faced. His morality shifts to the other side of the spectrum." 
She cocked her head to the side, and he could see her getting slightly frustrated. "But morality is not just a spectrum; it's a complex interplay of values, societal norms, and personal convictions. Raskolnikov's guilt stems from the clash between his actions and the intrinsic moral compass within him. It's the consequence of recognizing the weight of one's choices."
He scoffed before he could stop himself. "Morality is subjective. What is right for one may not be right for another. Raskolnikov was weak and he was an idiot. Guilt is a useless emotion and it is for the weak."
Her expression remained unwavering. "But perhaps it's that recognition of guilt that separates the morally discerning from those who lack empathy. The fact that you can't comprehend his guilt doesn't make it foolish. It makes it human."
Tom's eyes narrowed a glint of impatience in his gaze. "Human or not, guilt is a hindrance. It's a sentiment for those too feeble to rise above their actions. If I were to make a difficult choice, I would do it without hesitation, without remorse." 
He only realised the slip of his tongue after the words left his mouth. He stilled, gauging her reaction yet her response was measured but firm. "Raskolnikov's guilt is a testament to his humanity, his ability to grapple with the consequences of his choices. It's what sets him apart from those who operate without remorse." 
"But—"
"So what you're saying is you would kill and feel no remorse?" She cut him off.
Yes.
"You do not understand." He did not intend his tone to be so harsh, yet the words left his mouth coldly. She visibly withdrew and nodded stiffly. "Right. Enjoy your coffee."
He opened his mouth to say something but realised for the first time in his life he did not know what to say. 
He was left staring at the cursed sugar packet she had left near his coffee again.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
He did not return the next day. Nor the day after. Or after.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
Two weeks passed with no sign of him.
And then she saw him step into the coffee shop. He walked in with determination. He walked up to the counter, meeting her gaze with an intensity that mirrored the unspoken tension between them. "I'd like a black coffee," he said, his tone even, though a hint of something lingered beneath the surface. 
She nodded, her expression composed but guarded. As she prepared the coffee, the air seemed charged with unspoken words. Her usual cheerful smile was notably absent. The absence struck him, and he realised he had enjoyed her smiles.
When she placed the coffee in front of him, there was a palpable pause. He glanced at the sugar packet, a subtle acknowledgement of the lingering disagreement. Without a word, he took it, his eyes meeting hers briefly before he poured the sugar into his coffee. 
She looked at him, her gaze unwavering, before a small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
He returned the next day. And the day after that. And for the rest of summer.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
The next time he stepped into the familiar place, winter had covered the city with a snowy blanket once again. It had been a year since he first discovered this little place. And he had not seen his little waiter since he left for Hogwarts in September. 
When he walked in, her eyes lit up visibly. "Hi!" She waved at him with a bright grin. 
"Hello." He greeted as he unwrapped his scarf and settled in his usual seat. In a matter of minutes, she was bringing him his usual order. She was back to wearing her warm knitted sweaters. "How did you enjoy the book?"
"Oscar Wilde never disappoints," he said. She hummed in agreement, pleased at his words. He watched as her hands dropped to fidget with the bottom of her sweater. "You wish to ask me something." He stated. "Ask."
"Do you study in a boarding school?"
Tom hesitated only for a moment before replying. "Yes."
"Oh. Well, that explains the months of not showing up."
"Were you expecting me?" He teased her with an amused smirk, taking delight in the way her cheeks reddened. 
"I was just wondering that is all," she admitted, a hint of curiosity peeking through. Tom observed her, noting the return of the timid, shy girl from their first encounter. It amused him how a few teasing remarks could momentarily whisk away her fiery boldness. He couldn't help but wonder what it would take to awaken it once again.
"And do you wonder about me often, little vixen?" he added, a playful glint in his eyes.
She blushed harder at the nickname but then as if a thought had struck her, she straightened and Tom watched as she visibly mustered up her courage. "I actually was wondering your name."
He bristled, but she must have not noticed because she continued. "I suppose I have not given you mine either." She mused out loud and announced her name to him. "But I thought it bizarre that considering all the time we've talked we never got around to that. Friends who do not each other's names." The girl laughed at the last notion and only then she realised that Tom had remained unnervingly quiet throughout the exchange. She raised her eyes from the frayed edges of her sweater, and the sight almost made her take a step back. His eyes had darkened, and she could have sworn she saw them flash red. There was no warmth, no familiarity in his gaze. 
"Are you alright?"
Suddenly, he rose from his seat, an ominous tension permeating the air as he advanced towards her with every word. "We are not friends. You dare to think I would be friends with the likes of you?" His words were sharper than the keenest of blades, cutting into her with merciless precision. "Foolish, little girl," He spat out before grabbing his things and storming out of the place. As the door closed behind him, the little coffee shop seemed to exhale, the echoes of his harsh words lingering in the hushed aftermath.
She stood frozen in her place, helpless against the storm of emotions and the tears that began to veil her vision. 
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
Tom fumed for months after their last encounter. How dare the ignorant muggle insinuate that they were friends? He scarcely considered his Knights of Walpurgis as his friends, and she thought she would just appoint herself the title? Who did she think she was?
"Mate, you alright? You've been unresponsive for a while." Malfoy nudged him slightly, attempting to draw his attention back to the present.
Tom made a noise of acknowledgement before mentally shaking the image of his little waiter— no, not his, he berated himself— from his mind. 
But no matter how he tried, he could not. He could not just banish her from his thoughts. He knew a part of him, a rather embarrassingly large part of him enjoyed her company, her passion, her conversations— just her. 
And there, tucked away in the recesses of his trunk, lay her damned book— a taunting reminder of her. The temptation to burn it, to obliterate any remnants of her from his life, danced on the edge of his thoughts. He had shoved away, out of sight if only just to save himself the fury, the anger, (the longing).
He wondered if she was going through the same turmoil as him. He hoped she was. She had no right to make him feel this way and get away with it unscathed. 
But she was too enticing to give up. He did not know what it was about her. She was a muggle, an ordinary, plain girl working at a forgotten little cafe. Sure, she liked books, but so did a lot of other people. Yes, she was pretty, but so were a lot of other girls. But none could even come close to stirring his emotions as she did.
Perhaps it was the ease with which she conversed with him. Or the entirely too cheery smiles. Or her endearing knitted sweaters— though he secretly favoured the sundresses.
He, of course, knew what it was. He had tried to deny the idea to himself, but there was no escaping it. Tom had never been able to be unequivocally authentic with another individual before. From his early childhood, he refused to allow anyone close to him. He never lowered his walls and rejected anything that would yield a genuine connection. It was refreshing with her. He had no cause to uphold a curated facade.
Had she not been a muggle, he would entertain the thought of her bewitching him. He would have been convinced the girl put some spell on him or slipped a potion into his drink. 
It was maddening. 
She was maddening.
He sighed upon realising that he had spiralled again thinking of her. He needed to return the book, and maybe that would ease his mind. Perhaps once he was rid of her possession, she would not haunt him anymore. (Though he knew he was only trying to reassure himself with the last thought.)
As summer loomed around the corner, it felt both too distant and too imminent, mirroring the paradox of his tangled emotions.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
The sound of her laugh rang out before he could even close the door behind him. His head snapped up so fast it was a wonder he did not get whiplash. But there she was, his little waiter, chuckling delightfully as some boy spoke lowly from behind the counter. Chuckles escaped her lips, and she bit down on her lip in a futile attempt to stifle the laughter, her hands deftly at work preparing a drink. Despite her efforts, laughter bubbled forth once more, forcing her to set the cup down to avoid any potential spills.
An immediate surge of anger coursed through him. Who was this boy? What business did have with her? What right did he have to elicit such genuine laughter from her? (Most importantly, how dare she replace him?)
Tom swallowed the lump in his throat, attempting to gather himself into some semblance of a composed, unaffected man that he most definitely was not at that moment. With a loud, purposeful cough, he sought to catch her attention.
She spun around, the practised smile reserved for customers settling onto her face as she readied herself to serve him. However, the smile swiftly vanished the moment her doe-like eyes locked onto him. She looked like a deer caught in headlights as she stared at him, wide eyes roving over his face as if to confirm that he was really standing there, in front of her, and was not a figment of her imagination. 
Because despite their last encounter, despite the anger, and the hurt she had felt, she kept hoping he would return. She kept imagining him standing there, with his ridiculously fancy scarf as he spewed out an apology. She had delved so deep into her fantasies involving him that now that he was actually there, she did not what to do or to say. Her tongue was tied, and her brain was fogged. What was she supposed to say?
It seemed he decided to grant her mercy and be the first to break the tense silence.
“Hello.” 
“Hi.”
He shuffled closer, though his steps were unsure, unlike his usual confident strides that she was used to seeing. “I wished to return your book.” He declared yet made no move to reach into his bag for the said book. He allowed his eyes to drink in the sight of her, her eyes that always seemed to glisten, her hands that were always fidgeting, her little sundress that he was afraid would drive him to insanity, (and her lips that he wished he could press against his own just so he could find out what they felt like, tasted like.) He shoved the last one into a drawer in his mind and locked it away. He could not fantasise about her. She was a muggle. He could not stoop so low as to hold affections for a muggle girl.
“Did you enjoy it?” The girl asked tentatively as if afraid one wrong word would set him off, have him spitting more harsh words that would dig deep into her skin and remain there. 
“As always.” He replied. Because every book she gave him held another meaning. She was a clever girl, choosing the ones that she knew would have him coming back with a strong debate prepared in his mind. They always seemed to stand on opposite sides of every argument that the books posed, ensuring that their discussion would get heated, exciting, and thrilling. 
While Tom vehemently disagreed with her views, he found pleasure in the way her mind worked. He admired her quick-wittedness, her ability to counter every argument he posed. No one else had engaged him in such stimulating conversations. She was a breath of fresh air, a captivating force he wanted to inhale and never release. He yearned to suffocate in the essence of her being, to be consumed and to consume in return. He wanted to own her— that irrational desire to keep her for himself was always there in the deeper parts of his mind that he was scared to venture into.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” She responded but he could detect the subtle undercurrent of uncertainty in her voice.
He hesitated. “May I have one black coffee?” He was extending an olive branch, and while it was not an outright apology, coming from Tom, it was a whole declaration. 
“It’s five minutes until closing time.” 
She would not be swayed so easily then. 
Fine. Tom thought. He would make her come to her senses. 
The boy who he had forgotten was still there suddenly came to stand next to him. Tom eyed him with disdain, his features curling into an unimpressed sneer, raising a lazy brow.
“I’ll help her close up, mate. You can leave now.” 
“Daniel, that is not necessary.” She muttered, glancing between the two men nervously. Daniel? Tom clenched his jaw, enraged. In his absence, it seemed she had gotten on first-name basis with a boy. His mouth soured with the taste of betrayal at her blatant ignorance. How could she discard him so easily? Had she not suffered all these months at the mere thought of him? Had he been alone in his suffering?
“No,” Tom stated flatly. “You will leave.” He told the boy then turned to face his waiter. “We will talk.” 
“Tom, I do not think—”
He cut her off with a hiss. “It was not a request.”
Daniel seemed wholly displeased. He opened his mouth to argue, but his girl beat him to it. “It’s okay, Daniel. I will see you some other time.”
“Whatever he has to tell you, surely he can say in front of me.”
She shook her head gently, trying to dissuade him. “It’s a matter between him and I. I would rather talk privately.” 
Tom looked smug as he faced Daniel again, struggling to contain his smirk. He could see the indignation clear on the boy’s face as his eyes flickered dubiously between her and Tom. He knew the wizard was no ordinary acquaintance of her, he could feel the palpable tension in the air like a wolf. 
Tom, of course, wished to push his buttons further, just to have the last word. “You heard her. Leave.” 
Daniel scoffed. “I will see you tomorrow then.” He muttered and with one last long look, he squared his shoulders and left the café with as much dignity as his wounded pride could muster. 
As the door shut with a final thud, they were left in pregnant silence, both unsure of the dynamics at play between them. The air in the café hung heavy with unspoken tension as if the silence itself had taken on a weight, pressing down on them both. The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed louder than usual, each second echoing in the quiet space.
She was the first to cave. "Well? You wished to talk." Gesturing towards him with a hand expectantly. "Talk." 
Tom inhaled sharply, and for the first time in his life, he did not quite know what to say. How to proceed. 
"Who is he?" The question tumbled from his lips before he could stop it. 
She raised a brow. "Seriously? After how you walked out of here last time I would think your choice of words would be different."
"Different? I hardly think the question was unfair."
She huffed impatiently, discarding her apron as she turned from him to put everything away for the night. "Of course. How foolish of me to assume that you have no business inquiring about my life when we are not even friends." She chuckled bitterly. "You made the notion quite appalling if memory serves me right. You wish to know who is Daniel? For all you know, he could be my fiancee. Would it matter? No. Because you and I are hardly acquaintances." 
An unfamiliar feeling began coiling in the pit of his stomach, and he suddenly felt sick. She briefly turned to fix him with a pointed glare and froze at the look on his face. The dancing flames of the candles seemed to mirror the flickering emotions in Tom's eyes—flames of irritation, discontent, and an unexpected pang of jealousy.
Tom could scarcely believe his fate. How was it that he— the most powerful wizard of his generation— had succumbed to the pathetic disease of— what was it? Desire? Lust? Infatuation? Such mundane urges were beneath him, he had no wish to pursue anyone or anything that was not remotely related to his quest for power. Yet there she was. In her infuriating fucking dress and those innocent eyes. Did she even know what sort of turmoil she had caused him?
All of a sudden he felt exhausted, defeated. His shoulders sunk visibly as he ran a hand through his hair. He would use a hundred of her sugar packets in his coffee if it meant she would just grace him with her bubbly smile again and just— just what? Leave him be? He did not want that. Treat him as if nothing had happened? Maybe. Release him from whatever enchantment she put him under? Yes.
"What do you want from me?" He asked at last, frustration clear in his voice.
She regarded him with disbelief as she rounded the counter to stand directly in front of him. "What do I want from you?" She repeated incredulously. "I want an apology! I want an explanation! I want—" she sighed, cutting herself off before she could finish the thought. "You cannot just show up here demanding things and ordering people around after how you treated me last time. If you wish to continue this conversation, you will apologise to me."
"You want me to say sorry?" He took a step towards her.
"Yes!"
"Fuck your apology." 
Before she could register what was happening, Tom closed the minute distance between them and caved into his desire. He grabbed her face, fingers threading through her hair, and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was not gentle; it was a collision of pent-up tension and bottled-up desires.
Tom's lips moved fervently against hers, pouring his frustration into the act. It was a silent declaration that transcended the boundaries of his complicated inner turmoil. Tom knew that. But he could not pull away from her— not after having tasted how her lips feel like. 
Her hands, which had hovered hesitantly in the space between them, found their way to his shoulders, fingers gripping the fabric of his coat, pulling him closer. 
She felt—tasted like God's favourite nectar, sweet and addictive and he knew he would never get enough of it. She might not have been a witch, but he was bewitched by her. 
As they broke apart, breathless, the air between them hung heavy with the residue of their shared kiss. He dared not to ease his hold on her, only stared at her with darkened eyes, taking delight in the way her lips were bruised, and puffy, all because of him. But it was not enough. He needed to mark her for all to see. 
He dove into the tender skin of her throat like a man starved, teeth sinking into her flesh with no warning, and a sick sort of satisfaction washed over him at the muffled moan that escaped her mouth. He sucked on the skin until he was sure there would be a purple mark blooming on the spot before running his tongue over the flesh to soothe the sting. He did not waste any second before moving to mark another spot.
"I do not even know your name." She managed to choke out in between her whimpers, hands moving of their own accord to tangle in his hair, and a particular tug had him growling deep in his throat. 
"Tom." He whispered, pulling away from her neck only to return his lips to hers. "Say it. Say my name." He murmured in between the kisses, pushing her back until her back was pressed against the counter. He easily picked her up to place her on the surface, his fingers trailing along her thighs to her knees to nudge them apart so he could stand in between them. 
"Tom." She breathed out in a daze, and he smirked in delight. 
She was his. He had already branded her, and he would do much more to ensure she knew it was him she belonged to. 
He leaned to brush his lips against the shell of her ear. "I hope you know there is no going back from this. From me." He whispered, fingers slipping under the strap of her dress and dragging it down her shoulder slowly. "You are my dirty little secret now. Mine."
She shuddered under the weight of his words but he was already snaking his hand around her throat as his lips found home on her own once again.
No going back.
⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ 
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martuzzio · 4 months
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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES
Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!
Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)
Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out
Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __
Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...
Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing
Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic
Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out
False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...
Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!
Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%
Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy
Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!
Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag
Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear
Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost
Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...
Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple
Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate
Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles
Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy
Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies
Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]
TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud
Wels Words are hard If you will Super __
xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy
Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha
Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!
More Info
So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!
If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D
Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)
Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc
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raz-writes-the-thing · 5 months
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Mine (Doctor Who Drabble)
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Dark!Ten x Fem!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open
Summary: Dark!Ten would do anything to keep you with him.
CW: Dark!Ten, blood, smut
DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
“You,” the Doctor growled, hand over your mouth to forcefully keep you quiet as he thrusts himself against your cunt with no mercy. “Are not allowed to fucking leave me. No, oh- you’re mine. All fucking mine.” 
You whimper against his hand, trying to keep your eyes open so you can see the look on his face. He likes it when you’re watching.
“No fucking baser species is going to take you from me,” he growls, shoving two fingers inside your mouth. Your lips wrap around them dutifully, and the metallic tang that hits your tastebuds reminds you that there are still splatters of blood across his hands and chest. 
You’d be lying if the thought didn’t make your cunt clench with need. 
“You’re mine,” he grinds out again, shoving his fingers into the back of your throat. You swallow around the fingers as your throat threatens to make you gag. His hips snap against you and a little bit of drool slips past your lips and down your chin. It mixes with the splatters of blood on your face, turning the lightest shade of pink. “Oh yes- no one is allowed to touch you, darling. I will kill every single being who even turns an eye to look at you.” 
Your eyes roll back as his words send molten heat down your spine. You really shouldn’t react that way to his violent words. You know he’s not kidding. You know he’s telling you the absolute truth. He has and would kill anyone for you- entire worlds have burned for an unpleasant comment towards you. 
And yet you stayed. And his filthy words promising blood, and death to anyone who got in your way? Turned you on faster than anything else, and he knew it, too. 
“You like that, don’t you?” He asked, fingering your mouth and watching as the drool collected on his fingers and slid down your chin. “You like to hear what I’d do to them- how I wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone- anyone- for you,” he ripped his fingers out of your mouth and placed them around your throat. “Blimey, I think even seeing the blood on my face- on my fingers when I’ve killed someone turns you on, doesn’t it?” 
You nod against his fingers and he laughs. 
“You’re filthy- fucking meant for me, darling, and I will never let you go.”
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mrsmikaelsxn · 1 year
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Injured On Purpose
masterlist
pairing: harry potter x female reader
warnings: just fluff, possibly obsessed harry, mentions of things like cuts/gashes and bruises, kissing
summary: you are a healer in training, one year older than harry, he keeps getting injured while you keep healing him. you start to wonder if he does it on purpose, to which you find your suspicions to be correct - requested by @ashdreams2023
a/n: i absolutely adore this idea!! thank you for sending it love xx (i also didn't know what age you wanted so i just made her a 7th year and him a 6th, hope that's ok :)
song: love me love me say that you love me - the travelling kisses
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Harry knew he was done for when he first laid eyes on you in the infirmary.
He had gotten injured during one of his Quidditch matches. He had taken a nasty hit from a bludger.
When he arrived, he figured Madam Pomfrey would be the one to heal him as usual.
However, it was a pleasant surprise when he heard a soft voice and looked up to see a beautiful girl standing before him.
So beautiful that he had to take of his glasses and wipe them clean to make sure he was seeing correctly.
You were oblivious to his dreamy gaze as you scanned over his papers.
"Hello, Mr. Potter-"
"Harry, call me Harry," he quickly says.
"Okay Harry, I'm y/n," you smile at him.
"Pretty name for a pretty girl," he whispers under his breath.
"Sorry?"
"Oh- um- nothing," Harry blushes.
"Alright, well it seems that your shoulder had been broken. But don't worry, I'll be able to fix it right up in no time," you explain.
You take out your wand and some ointments.
You say some different spells for fixing any broken or cracked bones.
"Do you mind sliding your shirt down just a bit so I can rub this on the bruses?"
"N-no not at all," he stutters and slides it down.
"You are new here? In the hospital wing I mean," he asks as you rub the medicine on him.
"Mhm- well, not that new. I've been here for almost two months. But I want to be a healer when I get out of here, so some of my professors thought it would be helpful if I worked here first," you clarify.
"Oh, well that's brilliant if you ask me!"
"Thank you," you grin.
"What year are you?"
"I'm a seventh year, you're a sixth year right?"
"Yeah," he nods.
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"Merlin Ron, you should have seen her," he dramatically sighs.
"Harry, stop being all lovey-dovey," he wacks his best mate in the back of the head.
"But you don't understand. Her hair looks so soft- I think I'm in love," he falls back onto his bed.
"Blimey," Ron shakes his head.
When they went to dinner that night, he let his eyes roam the Great Hall in search for you.
Finally, his eyes landed on your angelic figure as you talked with some of your friends.
He hadn't realized he had been staring until he felt Hermione hit his arm with a book.
"Gosh Harry, I think your drooling," she rolls her eyes and goes back to reading.
He quickly brings his hand up to his mouth to check if Hermione was right. When he realized she was just messing with him he shakes his head and puts it on his hand, resting his elbow on the table.
"Harry, you only talked to her for like ten minutes," Ron glances at you.
"Yeah but it was the best ten minute conversation of my life," he runs a hand through his hair.
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Since that day, Harry had purposely gotten injured from things like Quidditch, dueling, and any other things he could think of.
Why he did this, just so he can be sent to the infirmary to see you.
You had thought he showed up often because he was just a clumsy boy.
Over the visits you have grown to know each other well. You had become somewhat close.
Whenever Ron or Hermione told him that he should stop, he brushed it off by saying, "she's a pretty girl and a guy has got to do what hes got to do!"
He loved when you would have to rub any type of liniment on him, just to feel your warm and soft hands on his skin.
While you were busy writing things down, he would stare at your precious, pink, plump lips. He begged Merlin to one day be able to kiss those lips. He often dreamt about what it would be like as your boyfriend.
Today was another day where he had been hit with a spell that caused some gashes on his stomach.
He was laying in bed, waiting for his lovely healer to come in.
Soon enough, he sees you stroll through the doors as you make your way over to his bed.
"Harry Potter! What brings you here today," you greet with a bright smile playing on your lips.
"Hello, love, just some cuts on my stomach," he informs you.
You blush at the name and nod your head.
"Do you mind lifting your shirt for me?"
He happily complies and brings up his shirt, revealing his toned stomach to you. You tried your best not to look like you were checking him out, you were also glad no one else was in the room to notice.
"Oh Harry what happened," you gasp as your eyes land on the bloody wounds.
"Oh- uh- I was hit with a spell," he tells you.
"I'm sorry," you frown.
"No need to apologize"
"This might hurt a bit," you warn him as you get a medicine covered cloth to clean the injury.
You finish wiping his cuts and put a bandage over them. You sit in the chair that was next to his bed and look at him.
"You know, you come here at least twice a week," you start as he stares at your pretty eyes. "Is there any reason you are always getting hurt?"
"Oh- er, no, um..." Harry rubs his neck nervously as he suddenly avoids eye contact with you.
"You... you're not getting injured on purpose are you?"
"What?" Harry laughs nervously. "Of course not!"
Realization fills your head, it all makes sense now. Your friends told you he was always admiring you in the Great Hall, he always had a pink blush on his cheeks when you would look at him intensely, and you had heard him ranting to his friends over some girl.
You stand up and sit on the bed. "Are you sure there isn't another reason?"
"Well- umm- maybe there is one," he fidgets with fingers as he looks out the window.
"Yeah? And what would that reason be?"
"Isortakindafancyyou," he rushes out so fast you couldn't understand.
"I have no clue what you just said," you tilt your head with a small smile.
"I sorta kinda fancy you," Harry blushes as he looks you in your eyes.
"Do you now," you whisper as your face moves closer to his.
"Y-yeah," he mumbles while staring as you lips.
"Well, then I suppose you might want to know that I sorta kinda fancy you too," you say, glancing at his lips as well.
He can't take it any longer. He reaches a hand behind your neck and pulls your lips towards his.
He sits up while keeping your mouths connected. He cannot seem to get enough of your warm, soft lips.
His tongue slides into your mouth and you almost let out a moan from how passionate the kiss is.
Eventually, you slowly pull back, leaving his mouth trying to follow yours. Both of you are breathing heavy while wearing smiles.
"You are a great kisser," Harry says breathlessly.
"Not too bad yourself, Harry," you grin. "I'm sorry, I have to go, but we should do this again sometime," you stand up and go to turn around.
"Wait," he stays and he grabs your wrist gently. "Would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me sometime?" Harry kisses your hand.
"I would love to," you beam, bending down to peck his lips.
"Brilliant! How about this saturday?"
"Sounds perfect, bye Harry," you wave walking out of the room.
Harry licks his lips, wishing yours were on them again. He closes his eyes and falls back onto the pillows with a dreamy smile.
When Harry got back, Ron and Hermione never heard the end of it.
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seraphinitegames · 8 months
Note
What is something the ROs want to hear, need to hear, and dread to hear from the MC?
Oh, blimey! There have been some seriously thought-provoking questions this month :D
Let's see...
Adam/Ava:
Want: "You're not a monster." (Book One throwback much? Lol!)
Need: "It wasn't your fault."
Dread: "Your decision was wrong."
--
Nate/Nat:
Want: "You don't have to perfect."
Need: "You're enough."
Dread: "I can't accept that."
--
Farah/Felix
Want: "I want forever with you too."
Need: "I'm not going to leave you."
Dread: "It was your fault."
--
Mason/Morgan
Want: "Whenever you're ready, I'm ready."
Need: "I feel the same."
Dread: "You don't matter."
--
Bit vague for these but I knew the exact situations all of these could happen and now my heart is hurting...hehe! :D
Thank you so much for the interesting ask! :)
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