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#Only these for now because I'm tired
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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bixels · 4 months
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
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Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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whenthewallfell · 1 year
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~The Many Legs of Peeta Mellark, or A Weirdly In-Depth Look at Panem Prosthetics~
Concept art for Peeta’s leg because I can (details below the cut)
Catching Fire: though the leg itself is removable, the cover is non-optional and the access panels can only be used by Capitol technicians. Due to how ornate it is it can get a bit heavy after long periods of wear, and there’s limited movement in the ankle which impedes walking. It’s designed to mimic the shape of the original leg so it fills out clothes nicely, but flashy enough to be worthy of a Victor should anyone see it. A very pretty prosthetic, but only slightly better than a peg leg. Mockingjay: this is what the prosthetic looks like without the fancy cover. It’s very no-nonsense with an advanced ankle component that has better range of motion without the casing, and features a rubber tread on the bottom of the foot blade to allow for better traction when chasing down and murdering his one true love. Although a vast improvement mobility-wise, it’s been permanently bolted to his leg and the control panels are all welded shut. Everything about this is short-term - they don’t care what happens to him once he’s killed Katniss.
Post War: when he’s caught in the explosion/fire from the bombs that got Prim his leg melts and fuses to his stump, so the doctors end up having to amputate even more. He’s given the choice to try out an experimental implant, which he accepts. This is vastly different from the other ones because he’s got so much autonomy - he can change the settings himself, remove the foot shell, opt in for a leg casing if he wants (he doesn’t). All in all it’s a very low maintenance leg, which suits him just fine, and because it’s an implant it finally feels like a part of him again.
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lunarharp · 2 months
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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frogayyyy · 16 days
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to love, is to turn back and look
star trek: the motion picture novelisation - gene roddenberry // orpheus and eurydice - frederic leighton (1864) // first love / late spring - mitski // star trek: the motion picture // talk - hozier // orpheus mourning the death of eurydice - ary scheffer (1814) // metamorphoses - ovid (translated by sir samuel garth)
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tabbi-mysteries · 7 months
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Look. I skim through episodes for Ran references. I skip through minutes worth of stuff if I'm confident Ran's not about to change outfit. But I am also only focused on Ran all the time. Which means I'm sorry animator who thought nobody would notice this single second frame of Ran missing her foot. I found it while trying to work out what shoes she was wearing. I was not expecting no feet at all but fair game you caught me out.
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covertblizzard · 1 month
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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"
#jason todd#kyle rayner#jaykyle#mypost#dc thoughts#vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or#i'll make them wear the get along shirt again#WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then#wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out#dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings#kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little#roy is the fight scene choreographer#i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough#actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals#ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals#raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical#rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED#connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead#he doesnt want this#steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too#jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials#tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia#damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art#this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH#damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up#dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO#i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles#are to be determined
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cerise-on-top · 4 months
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Hi, love your writing. it's so good 💚💚
Could I request some HC for LV + Graves who have an S/O who has three cats that love to sleep on top of them?
😸💚
Thank youuuu! That's very kind of you! This ask actually inspired me to text my friend again and ask her for some cat pics since those critters are just so goshdarn adorable!! I wish I had a cat! I once had a tortoise, though, and she was just the most lovely and adorable little thing out there! I loved her so dearly! Anyway, thank you for the request!
Alejandro, Rodolfo and Graves with an S/O with Three Cats
Alejandro: He gives off quite some canine energy, so there’s a chance your cats won’t like him too much. That, of course, you can try to combat by having him feed them. Either way, if they like Alejandro, then you can expect him to be all over your cats, always talking to them, petting them, picking them up, kissing them and what else it is you do with a cat. He loves your little kitties and would kill someone for them. Although he’s more of a dog person himself, he doesn’t prefer dogs by much, so he can really go either way. When he sees just how cuddly your cats are and when they take a nap on his chest while he’s watching TV with you or something, he will not hesitate to pet the cat, scratch the little fella behind its ears and try his best to make them purr. He loves the sound and the vibration, it brings good vibes and makes him just as content as the cat. The rule that one must not move when a cat is sleeping on top of them holds true for him. If he needs to use the bathroom while one of your cats is sleeping on him then he’ll just have to endure until it wakes up. But if he’s content as well, then he might just cuddle the cat, or your cats even, and take a nap himself. While he’s not usually one for napping, he will when he genuinely can’t move because of your lovely little felines. If your cats let him, he will give them big hugs as well. Is so smitten, he’ll buy them some toys and play with them, if he has the time. And if your cats are too lazy to actually play, then he’ll pick them up and lovingly scold them for being so unmotivated. Meows back at cats too.
Rodolfo: He gets along well with just about any animal. While he’s not scared of them per se, he does have a healthy amount of respect for them and won’t just walk up to your cats to give them pats and kisses and hugs. He will comply if your cats walk up to him because they’re curious, but he really doesn’t want to annoy them or worse, end up with him getting scratched. While he may not meow back at your cats either, he will talk to them as though they’re regular human beings. It’s somewhat funny, he takes them seriously and will, in a deadpan tone, tell them that there will be no more snacky treats for the evening. No matter how annoying your cats might get, he won’t budge. His decision is final, so there are no more snacky treats. He quite likes the thing where if you scratch a cat’s butt, it will move it upwards. Loves doing that to your cats, it’s funny and endearing to him. When your cats are sleeping on top of him, then he won’t particularly budge either. He’ll pat them, but he will also move them if he really needs to use the bathroom. No privileges for your cats this time. However, considering he is, more often than not, pretty tired, he will pretty much always take a nap with your cats if he can. The pressure on his chest is comforting to him, plus he gets to feel something nicely warm and furry on top of him as well. However, he sometimes moves in his sleep, which might wake up your cats, which might wake up him. It’s a never ending circle, but if he can, he’ll just sleep with your cats in his arms. Take a picture of him like that and he’ll try to take embarrassing pictures of you as well with your cats.
Graves: He is definitely more of a dog person, since those are strong and reliable. A cat will meow at you in the dead of the night because it knocked over its water bowl and can’t turn on the faucet on its own. Honestly? He always has something to complain about. Your cat pooped again. It knocked over the food bowl. It farted in his face. Things like that. He means them, but the way he says those things is sort of just funny. Imagine a 40 year old man having beef with a cat. He has very little shame when it comes to scolding your cats. At first, he will use his human words to get them to listen. But as soon as he realizes they believe it’s snuggle time, he will meow at them, making the situation even worse. However, every time you hand him one of your cats, he will take it from your arms and cuddle it a bit. Every time one of the critters walks up to him, demanding attention, he will pick it up and carry it around a bit. Sometimes in his arms, sometimes he just slings the cat over his shoulder and keeps it there. It’s sort of funny, he might pretend to really hate them, but he would never yell at them, only be stern and tell them to not be so gluttonous. When your cats are sleeping on top of him, he does not move an inch. He would never admit it, but they are your shared furry babies and he, like any American, would shoot anyone who ever tried to hurt you or them. Takes naps too when he can, or when nothing of interest is on TV, but he prefers getting to hold something instead of having your cats lie on top of you. You can take pictures of him to show him that he really doesn’t hate your cats as much as he pretends to, but he will always claim you photoshopped it, despite knowing fully well that happened.
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spacedace · 12 days
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So. I wasn't able to sleep AT ALL last night, to the point that I gave up and went out to the living room so I wouldn't wake up my partner with all my tossing and turning.
And, this has happened before. I figured it was the fun one two combo of insomnia and chronic pain, since my nerves were way worse than usual last night. But no.
NO.
I literally just now realized as i was looking at my pill caddy to take my ADHD meds this exhausting morning that, uh oh. They're not there! You know what is there??
MY CHRONIC PAIN MEDS
I SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT IN PAIN AND UNABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS A DOOFUS AND TOOK THE WRONG MEDS LAST NIGHT
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yusiyomogi · 2 years
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long day
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estcaligo · 4 months
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dazadoop · 1 year
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Reblog to scare a rwby fan
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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sciderman · 5 days
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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kawoid · 7 months
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midori says:
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xhanisai · 10 months
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hey lads if you’re not gonna comment on a fic you enjoyed, at least leave a kudos man
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