Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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So like. Jamie comes to watch one of Phoebe's matches, and she completely eats shit the entire time. Can hardly hold onto the ball for two seconds, trips over her own feet more than once, shoots twice and misses both times, passes to the wrong person, etc. and her team is just completely annihilated. Like. 0-7 annihilated. Demolished
As soon as time is called, she immediately walks off the pitch in tears and goes to Roy, who of course picks her up in her wet, muddy kit and kisses her forehead and tells her not to worry, there's always next week, she did him proud going out there and giving it everything she had, etc.
And Phoebe looks so small and innocent and pitiful, crying and cold and wet in her tiny little kit, and she's already so disappointed in herself and heartbroken over the score and all she wants is comfort and warmth and Roy gives her that without even thinking about it because she's a fucking child and it's a fucking game. And she knows he'll pick her up and comfort her so intrinsically that she doesn't hesitate a single moment.
Jamie just watches them and thinks about all the hours he spent crying inconsolably in locker rooms after losses, so anxious he'd throw up, stalling, not wanting to leave because he knew his father would be waiting for him when he did. Knowing there would be no comfort until he could see Georgie again.
And seeing it from the other side - being the adult in the situation - just gives him this renewed wave of fury and disgust for his father because how could anyone. How could anyone look at a precious, defenseless little child in that state, crying and desperate for comfort, and beat and berate them until they bled and cried and begged for forgiveness. Over a fucking game. How could you even think to do that. How could anyone.
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I feel like moments like these are important. It solidifies that after everything he has been through in Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, he is still a child. In OOT, he really was a child trapped in an adults body.
He doesn't consider himself a grown-up and doesn't really understand what's going on in the Anju and Kafei sidequest. He isn't motivated by the stakes or to help two lovers reunite but rather to just help for the sake of it.
In Great Bay, there are, unfortunately, a bunch of weirdos. He looks at a Zora man weird, but I think rather than just finding him gross, he doesn't get it as seen in the Fish Wish sidequest. He finds them weird, but he doesn't have a full understanding of it. This showcases his innocence in the game.
Along with that, there's also a moment where Sakon the thief tries to take advantage of Link. He talks about Link's sword and how cool it is, gives advice, and compliments the sword again, asking to just see it. It's obviously suspicious to the player, but if Link says yes, Tatl immediately gets hostile and attacks Sakon to drive him away instead of letting Link hand over his sword. If Link says no but tries to talk to him again, Tatl will immediately become hostile at Sakon anyway. I feel like this can show how niave Link can be.
There's also when Link receives a Keaton mask. He doesn't really get the meaning behind it and doesn't think accepting it if it makes sense, but he does it anyway. This doesn't really further any points other than he really is just a niave kid going through the motions.
Point is Majora's Mask highlights how he is still a child at heart. He thinks and acts like one still after Ocrina of Time. He didn't just grow up when he was asleep for 7 years. After everything he's been through, he's still him: a child.
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Thank you so much for your thorough response. I'm not always good at following production companies. Please ignore this if I'm overstepping, I've already asked for a lot of your time and research, but other than 9naa are there other companies you boycott because of how they treat actors? I know there were some issues with 2moons and I know there were some issues for Saint, though those were long before my time in the fandom.
That's completely understandable. There's so many companies now that do BL - some of them aren't even primarily into entertainment (a skincare company did The Promise, and I think there's at least one car dealership delving into BL things now too, while other companies are purely for investment and why would you even follow those if they're only about money?).
I'm trying to stay up-to-date because I'm interested in the industry side of things but I probably missed a lot of stuff as well.
Here's what I know for sure:
Motive Village
Motive Village did 2Moons. Then they did 2Moons2 with the same characters (and story!) but all different actors. THEN they did 2Moons: The Ambassador with (some of) the same characters (and story) and different actors again.
Why did they do that? Probably because they're so bad at managing their actors that they're all collectively running away as soon as possible. But that's not even the worst part. One of the actors from 2Moons2, Din Teerapat (then known as Earth Teerapat), was actively excluded and blocked from all promotion while being completely trapped in his contract. Other actors weren't paid and were badly mismanaged. Then there's very serious allegations that Din might have been (I'm phrasing this as carefully as possible) harrassed by one of MV's higher-ups. Din never spoke about it and has since decided to move on.
Aam Anusorn, who directed 2Moons2 (and isn't related to MV in any way) has spoken up about this, and his series Call It What You Want is supposedly based on some of what happened.
Other actors who "escaped" MV include Bas Suradej, Copter Panuwat, Kimmon Warudom (who went on to sign with Star Hunter for a while and did the very delightful Gen Y which is basically 2Moons fanfiction), Tae Darvid & Tee Thanapon (who did Triage), Boun Noppanut (who was never with MV but wasn't paid for his guest role in 2Moons), Joong Archen, Pavel Naret, Benjamin Brasier & Dome Woranart. The latest escapee seems to be Park Anandatej who will be in Monster next Door.
Benjamin Brasier and Dome Woranart seem to be back to working with Motive Village recently and I'm honestly a bit ?? ??? about it.
Y.Entertainment
Y.Ent did Unforgotten Night and For Him the Series. Recently, the leads of For Him, Tor Atagorn and Dew Nitikorn (along with Yoon Phusanu who starred in Unforgotten Night and had a cut guest role in For Him), have come forward saying that they were never paid for their work in For Him. Additionally, Tor has opened up about being continuously harrassed and stalked by someone on and off set during filming. It affected him so badly that he is now in therapy and on medication for depression and anxiety.
Just yesterday Yoon Phusanu held a press conference because he still hasn't been paid. He's one of the few actors who actually have the means to hire lawyers and go against his company. His lawyer has stated that not many young actors in Thai BL can afford to do the same.
9NAA
9NAA did Check Out, Venus in the Sky and, most recently, Kiseki Chapter 2. You know about 9NAA already but for everyone else reading this and wanting to know what's going on with them, here's a short summary.
Here's some other companies involved in Thai BL who have done some mildly questionable things:
Maximon who have since rebranded as Harikarn (with another company now named Maximon that might also have been emerged from the original Maximon... it's complicated) might have not paid their actors for Chains of Heart until the series had long finished airing. Haii Sarunsathorn and Boom Raweewit, the leads, made some very carefully worded joke tweets about it - which kind of makes you go hmmmm. There was also a freelancer who spoke up about not getting paid for his art, but nothing more ever came of it. Both Maximon and Harikarn have since ramped up production again - with some of the same actors - so I'm not especially concerned for the moment.
Well.Thailand recently annouced a bunch of new BLs and then promptly went bancrupt. One of their former producers immediately picked up the slack and founded EntSync in order to take over all projects and talent. They've already held the blessing ceremony for Black Forest and everything seems to be back to normal for the moment except for Born to be Y the series which should have aired this month but has since been indefinitely postponed.
Fix Entertainment is behind The Whisperer and is holding the series' final episode hostage because apparently a planned fanmeeting didn't sell enough tickets so they seem to have run out of funds. This is very ?? ???
Studio on Fire recently announced that one of the leads of their upcoming series Live in Love will be replaced, citing creative differences and "different work attitudes" (hate that phrase yet?) as the reason. Weirdly enough, said lead (Non Ritchanon) is from another company and was part of an acting pair with their own actor Hearth Chindanai. Hmmmmmm.*
*This kind of reminds me of what happened with Saint Suppapong during and after Love By Chance when he was basically almost bullied out of the industry because he wasn't with the same company as all of the other actors.
As I said, there's probably more but I didn't include actor scandals, unfounded rumours or stuff that has already been resolved.
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