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#PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN THE SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL DIE
general-fanfiction · 1 year
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Hopes And Fears. (Wally Clark x Reader)
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Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.
Word Count: 3,073
Gif Not Mine. Requests are open!
Warnings: Violence, Swear Words, Hints Of Rape?
I’m not too sure how I feel about this to be honest but it’s my first fic since coming back and I would love to write for Wally more so please send requests! I might continue with this if people like it, I’m not sure yet though.
“Homecoming game tonight. Are you nervous?”
Closing my locker, I look to my left to see Abby, my best friend since elementary school. We’re inseparable. People find it odd that we look like we are complete opposites and yet we are the platonic loves of each other's lives. She’s a very loud and extroverted theater kid, I’m quiet, shy and introverted. Though in a weird turn of events, I became head cheerleader. Kind of ironic right?
“I’m not too worried. We’ve been rehearsing everyday, sometimes twice a day. I think we might actually have our best routine yet, I just hope we can pull it off.”
“You’ll be great, you always are. Besides I heard Spencer is going to ask you to be his date for homecoming.”
Abby’s words catch me off guard. Spencer is the Split River High quarterback. While typically the head cheerleader and quarterback are perfect for each other, I’m way below his level that the thought of us being together is ridiculous. I couldn’t even imagine it, that’s how ludicrous the idea of us is. Not that I would complain, Spencer is model level attractive, an academic genius and of course, insanely popular. Any girl would die to be his homecoming date. Me included.
“Don’t be stupid.” The blush on my cheeks is a vibrant red as I speak, leaning against my locker with my books clenched against my chest.
“I’m being serious. Some of the other football guys were talking about it in study hall. Apparently he’s got some sort of big surprise planned.”
Her grin is wide, clearly happy for me, though I can’t match it. I still don’t believe it, that sort of thing does not happen to girls like me. Guys aren’t interested in girls like me. That’s just the way high school works, maybe I’ll blossom when I head off to college at the end of this year but for now, guys keep their distance. My mom always told me that high school guys like girls that are easy and that because I know my worth, guys don’t even attempt it. I’ve always hated that idea though. If nothing else but for the slightly sexist and anti-feminist ideals that it pushes.
“Not to alarm you Y/N but he’s walking down the hallway.” Abby tells me, grabbing my forearm tightly, obviously excited. “I think he’s headed this way so that’s my cue. Have fun, text me all the details!”
With that she scurries away, flashing me a cheesy smile over her shoulder as she speeds down the hallway. Almost bumping into several other students as she does so. I laugh slightly, always entertained by her antics before hearing the metal of the locker next to me clang at the sound of somebody leaning against it.
“Mind if I steal you for a second Y/N?”
Spencer’s voice is charming and smooth, a relaxed smirk on his face as he stares down at me. His eyes are intoxicating and I feel as though I’m drowning in them. There’s no way Abby could be right. God, if she is I’ll never hear the end of it. Maybe I could live with that though, especially if it does result in Spencer potentially being my boyfriend.
“Sure, yeah, okay.”
Spencer’s smirk grows wider, and as he leans in to take my hand in his, I catch a whiff of his cologne. A dark musk that matches the darkness of his eyes and hair perfectly, it takes everything in me not to collapse right then and there. My senses are completely heightened and I can feel the roughness of his hand against my palm. The butterflies in my stomach make me feel as though I’m about to explode from my nerves and before I know it we’ve made our way to the old block of showers that were closed in 2004, following an incident involving an inappropriate relationship between a student and gym coach. New showers were remodeled and these were left to decay.
Spencer takes my books out of my hands, placing them on the bench that sits in the center of the room before turning to face me. His hand gently cups my cheek and although his smile is soft and loving. His eyes hold a mischievous glint. Without saying anything he leans down to kiss me, unprepared and a little shocked I step backwards.
“I didn’t know you wanted to kiss me. I didn’t even know you liked me.” I tell him, shuffling backwards again as he continues to approach me.
“Everybody likes you. I’ve just been wanting to save this for a special occasion, and what better time than homecoming?”
With my back pressed against the wall, a soft smile forms on my face as he cages me in. Though it doesn’t feel threatening, it feels new and exciting and my insides are on fire waiting to see what happens. I feel as though I finally understand what the cringey teen movies are talking about when they discuss sex and love and passion.
“I really like you Spencer.” I whisper, voice barely audible, gazing up at him through my lashes.
He laughs, pushing his hair out of his face before leaning down once again. This time his lips do touch mine and it’s nothing like I imagined. He’s rough, hands moving down to grab my breasts , almost painfully. The softness from before clearly disappeared. As much as it is a dream come true to be making out with the guy of my dreams, I’m still disappointed that this is how my first kiss turned out. His tongue forces its way into my mouth and its uncomfortable, I know this isn’t how it is supposed to go. As I try to pull away, to allow myself some air, his hand grips my throat, holding me in place. Continuing his almost aggressive movements.
“Yo Spence, did you get the bitch?”
Finally, he pulls away. I manage to take in some air despite his hand still wrapped around my neck. He’s looking over his shoulder, nodding his head. The rest of the football team stands in the doorway, menacing looks on their faces as they see me in such a vulnerable position. I hear the click of the door lock, and the butterflies in my stomach don’t feel so good anymore. The energy in the room shifts to one of darkness and evil, no trace of kindness and love.
Spencer looks at me, and for the first time in my life, I fear for my safety. This is not the same guy that I was obsessed with. There is no sign of human emotion on his face, no sympathy or pity. Gripping his hand to try and pry it away from my throat, I feel the tears begin to prick in the corners of my eyes and upon seeing my reaction, he smiles. My pain is his pleasure. Despite my attempts at removing his hand, his grip only gets tighter and I’m pushed further against the wall.
“Let’s have some fun boys.”
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A dull ache radiates through my body, pushing through the pain, I force myself to stand up. Staring at the room around me, I wonder if I was dreaming. However, with no sign of my books on the bench, I take that as confirmation that what I experienced did truly happen. Blood splatters the walls and floor but with no sign of injury on my body, I refuse to believe it’s mine. Sure, what happened was bad, but not that bad.
Not wanting to stay in this room any longer, I quickly make my way to the exit, pushing open the door with more force than necessary causing it to slam against the outside wall. Making the shy looking boy who happens to be standing outside jump. I smile apologetically, about to make my way past him when I notice what he’s wearing. Clad in double denim with round glasses, he looks straight out of Friends.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to come in because I thought you might feel kind of exposed but I wanted to introduce myself.” He says quietly, holding out his hand for me to shake. “I’m Charlie.”
Shifting my gaze between his hand and his face, my mind can’t really comprehend what is happening. Why am I suddenly meeting someone new? By the old shower block of all places, especially after what has just happened to me. The confusion on my face must be obvious as he smiles before revoking his hand.
“You haven’t worked it out yet have you?” He asks, almost as though he doesn’t want to push me.
“You’re dead, cherry pop.”
Looking to my right, I spot a girl sat against the wall, blue lollipop between her lips that has stained them ever so slightly. Wearing a black turtleneck with a matching cap and pinstripe pants, she’s the kind of girl that would intimidate me had I seen her walking down the street. Who am I kidding? She still intimidates me.
“Rhonda, Mr Martin told us to be gentle with her!”
“I’m sorry, I actually have somewhere to be but you two look great.” I tell them, beginning to walk away and head towards the main school building.
“Did you not hear me? You’re dead, you don’t have anywhere to be.” The girl, I’m assuming Rhonda, shouts after me, causing me to stop in my tracks.
“Look I don’t know what sort of joke this is, but it’s not funny. Seriously, go find some other kid to pick on.”
As I walk into the school building, I begin my mission of searching for Abby, hoping I can find her in the auditorium or even the costume department. My search doesn’t take too long, as my assumptions proved correct. She is sitting on the stage, the theater club’s newest script in one hand and her phone in the other. Our text thread open on her screen, as I sit myself beside her, she doesn’t even acknowledge me, eyes flicking between her phone and the script.
“Abby, I need to tell you something but you have to swear you will not tell anyone.”
She completely ignores me, flipping the page of her script. Its as if I’m invisible to her, a joke that isn’t funny. Waving my hand in front of her face in an attempt to get her attention also proves futile as she doesn’t even look up. Glancing at her phone I notice she’s messaged me multiple times asking me of my whereabouts, telling me she’s seen Spencer but she didn’t see me with him, asking me if I am his homecoming date.
“Abby, seriously? This is important, your show can wait.”
“She can’t hear you.” Charlie says, him and Rhonda standing in front of me, arms resting on the edge of the stage. “Or see you, we’re invisible to them. Nothing you do is going to change that.”
“I don’t get it, why isn’t she answering me?” I ask, panic starting to set it as I grow more and more confused at my situation.
“Oh my god, do I really have to tell you again? Are you that fucking stupid? You’re dead. D-E-A-D. Deceased. Not living.” Rhonda speaks slowly, using a voice you would use for a child.
“I can’t be dead. There’s no way, it’s just not possible.”
“Yeah it takes some getting used to, but we’re all friends and you’ll come to terms with it soon enough. Mr Martin’s support group helps too.” Charlie tells me, smiling encouragingly as I watch Abby walk away with some of the other theater kids.
“Support group?” I ask, hopping off the stage to stand with the only two people that can see me.
“Come on, we’ll take you.” Rhonda states, almost as if it's more of a chore and not like she offered to take me.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sitting in a circle with the rest of the group, I can’t help my heart racing as I spot the football player sitting amongst everyone. He reminds me of Spencer and that’s what makes me nervous, or maybe it’s just the fact that he plays football. Either way I can’t help but feel on edge, hence why I placed myself in the furthest seat from him.
As I take in the rest of the room, I notice the basketball team playing further down the court. Not aware of the existence of the group of ghosts sat in a circle like they’re in an AA meeting. It feels so surreal, almost like an intricate nightmare that I will wake up from at any moment. Yet everything I’ve seen so far has been pretty real.
“We have a new student, would you like to introduce yourself?” The only teacher, who I am guessing is Mr Martin asks, as I feel all eyes divert their attention towards me.
The football player has a gentle aura around him, smiling at me as he waits for an answer to Mr Martin’s question. I look away quickly, unable to face the feelings of sickness in my stomach that I get when I look at him.
“I’m Y/N.”
The group mumbles a chorus of welcomes as I stare at the floor, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I am actually dead.
“It’s hard at first, but I’m grateful that you decided to give the group a shot. It helps us all to move forward instead of focusing on our deaths and the past.” Mr Martin tells me, offering a look of sympathy. “Charlie, Rhonda, thank you for being Y/N’s guide, I’m sure it was very helpful.”
“So how did you die? In the old showers clearly, but that’s gotta be an interesting story right?” Rhonda asks, her eyes piercing into me as she places the lollipop back between her lips.
“Rhonda, you can’t just ask people that. Let her get used to us at least.”
His voice startles me, it’s as gentle as his aura. Soft and ever so charming. The protection in his tone is obvious as though he doesn’t wanna frighten me away and I glance at him for a moment. His football shirt sits perfectly against his toned chest and a gold chain hangs delicately from his neck. He’s beautiful. Truly beautiful.
“I’m Wally by the way, Wally Clark.” His voice is directed at me, staring at me intently.
At that moment, I can’t help but be transported back to before. Remembering my screams and pleads for them to stop. Praying someone would hear me and come to my rescue. They never did. They never stopped.
Jumping up from my chair, I feel myself getting worked up as I sprint out of the room. Terrified of reliving the past. Finding myself in an abandoned hallway, I slide against the wall until I’m sitting on the cold linoleum floor. Staring at the lockers as I try to calm my breathing.
“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Charlie asks, crouching in front of me with a concerned expression on his face. “Wally’s shitting himself thinking he did something wrong. I told him to hang back while I spoke to you.”
I let the tears fall down my face as I stare up at Charlie, feeling guilty that I’ve potentially upset an innocent boy because of my own trauma. I can’t go back to the group, I know I can’t. It would be in the best interests of every other ghost if I do my best to simply avoid Wally. That way nobody gets hurt.
“I’m sorry Charlie. I can’t do it, I can’t go back to the group. I can’t see him in that fucking uniform. I just can’t, I’m sorry.” My sobs are uncontrollable and I feel bad even just for putting Charlie through this when he’s known me for all of two hours.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. Is it the uniform, we can get him to change I’m sure, I know it’s not the best look but it is all he had since he died in his shoulder pads and all.”
I can’t help but let out a small laugh, wiping the tears from my face with the sleeves of my jumper. Charlie offers me his hand to help me stand up which I take graciously. He places a hand on my shoulder as a sign of encouragement, along with a gentle smile.
“I mean it Charlie. I can’t go back to the group. I don’t want to relive the memories.”
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“She’s adamant she’s not coming back.” Charlie tells the group, all of them awaiting the answers he has for them as to why the new girl ran away. “I don’t think it’s anything personal Wally but she said she can’t see you in that uniform and I think she may have had something happen regarding the football players. I don't wanna speculate though.”
“So, what? Her footballer boyfriend cheated on her and now she can’t look at poor, innocent Wally because it reminds her of him?” Rhonda asks, unimpressed by the lack of answers Charlie has.
“No, I think it’s something more than that. Something deeper. I’m sure she’ll tell us when she’s ready but for now, I would stop wearing the uniform Wally.”
The footballer didn’t need to be told twice, he instantly pulls the shirt over his head leaving him in only a tight, white tank top. Charlie smiles in appreciation, while Rhonda scoffs slightly upon seeing his muscular arms.
“Okay, so I’ve ditched the uniform, should I apologize or what?” Wally asks, looking at the group to gauge their reactions.
“Maybe now isn’t a good time Wally.” Mr Martin states, trying to think rationally. “I’d give it a day or so.”
“Or maybe just leave her alone for a while. Let her come out of her shell a bit first.” Charlie interjects.
“Yeah, let's not hurt cherry pop’s feelings.” Rhonda replies sarcastically, staring directly at Charlie.
As the rest of the group session continues, Wally stays silent, playing with the football uniform in his hands as he attempts to figure out different ways to apologize. To help her feel more at home in her new life, and potentially help her overcome the trauma of her death. Despite not managing to come up with a good idea, he does decide one thing. He will do whatever it takes to make her feel safe and become her friend.
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diyeoracha · 3 years
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IwaOi Fanfiction Masterlist with 90+ Works
Hello! In celebration accumulating over 290 bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi, Haikyuu S4 part 2, and @haikyuuweek2020​ (Day 7 - Free Choice), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite Iwaoi fics in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic for those works! Works are split up into genres such as alternate universe (either not childhood friends or set on Earth), angst, canon compliant (post timeskip with spoilers), canon divergent (childhood friends but divergent timeline post timeskip), high school, and university au
Formatting update: Jan 13, 2021 (spacing is wonky on the mobile app!).
Fic update: Jan 7, 2021
This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! I really do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos! Please reblog and like so more people can enjoy
Titles marked with (♡) are my absolute favorites and there’s a chance I cried while reading them but otherwise they’re in alphabetical order
Alternate Universe
an allegory of all the things we could’ve been
Word count: 16k
Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.” Reincarnation AU
And All the Prince’s Men
Word count: 65k
Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.” Royalty AU
Built a Temple in Me
Word count: 55k
Summary: Up the mossy mountain steps, past the komainu guardians and the faded red gate, and beyond the boundaries of the green shrine—that’s where the forest and the spirit world within it lies. That’s were Hajime met him, and where their story began.But intertwining of destinies can be ugly business, Hajime finds, when their first meeting begins with blood and the too-human eyes of a beast. God Oikawa AU
Quote: It fills his heart anyway, heals the hole in his chest that had been bleeding since he cut Tooru so forcibly from him.
Cotton Breathing
Word count: 13k
Summary: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends AU
Conquering the Great King
Word count: 105k
Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"
Quote: Oikawa's eyes twitched wide for less than a second, his knee pressed in hard against Iwaizumi's thigh, "I may be gorgeous, but I'm not a doll."
dear diary, i met a boy
Word count: 15k
Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there. Modern AU
Desperado
Word count: 82k
Summary: Clearly Iwaizumi had a checkered past. Kyoutani has never asked about it, nor has Iwaizumi ever brought it up. He knows it’s a sore spot for his mentor, just like the gorgeous Monte Carlo he keeps hidden away is, so he leaves it alone. Out on the streets, you learn a little something about when to turn a blind eye in order to survive; Kyoutani knows better than most to leave the past of men like Iwaizumi well alone. Heist AU
Even Heroes (have the right to dream)
Word count: 20k
Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. Superhero AU
♡Infinite Risks
Word count: 8k
Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying. “It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.” Edge of Tomorrow AU
In Defense of Reptiles
Word count: 9k
Summary: In their seventh year, Oikawa is chosen to be the Hogwarts champion in the Triwizard Tournament, and Iwaizumi suffers. Harry Potter AU
Quote: “You are so spoiled,” Iwaizumi tells him, but lets him shuffle down until Iwaizumi’s hand is now running through Oikawa’s hair instead of rubbing his shoulder.
In the Telling
Word count: 6k
Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru. Harry Potter AU
♡Lockdown
Word count: 72k
Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime. Prison AU
♡long nights, no peace
Word count: 18k
Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul. Pacific Rim AU
Quote: Quiet settles between them softly, like the warm pressure of the blanket, or Iwaizumi's fingers curling to lightly hold the fabric of Oikawa's shirt.
The Long Light
Word count: 36k
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime's seventh year at Hogwarts begins, and begins, and begins, and begins. Somehow, Oikawa Tooru is always there. Harry Potter AU
Magic Man
Word count: 12k
Summary: Oikawa is named the most desirable wizard in France. Iwaizumi is not impressed. Harry Potter AU
Quote: You keep saying partner or them. Is it rude of me to ask you to clarify?
Meet me in the grey area
Word count: 24k
Summary: Set in a hero/villain AU with Iwa as our trusty hero and Oikawa as our charming villain
Saw You at the Fish Market
Word count: 14k
Summary: In other words, Oikawa befriends hot part-time worker Iwaizumi and tries to impress him both off and on the court, in hopes of more.
♡♡ (sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate
Word count: 26k
Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow. Historical fantasy AU
Similar Creatures
Word count: 53k
Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.). Escort AU
♡Something Like Us
Word count: 28k
Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right? A/B/O AU
Space
Word count: 44k
Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed. Astronaut AU
Stop the Time
Word count: 10k
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, E.R. nurse at University of Tokyo Hospital. Hospital AU
♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor
Word count: 76k
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself. Yakuza AU
These Flowers I Stole For You
Word count: 3k
Summary: ANBU don't cry. They tear themselves apart, bit by bit, and then they stitch themselves whole again. Naruto AU
on shipwreck shore
Word count: 8k
Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally. “You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.” Detective AU
Page 305 of 304
Word count: 53k
Summary: “…she called you ‘papa’,” iwaizumi managed. oikawa just stared for a moment longer before relaxing in a smile. “yeah. cute, right? but you can call me ‘daddy’ if you want.”
Temporary fix
Word count: 12k
 Summary: “And you’ve shampooed his hair how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.” A/B/O AU
Tokyo Boy
Word count: 16k
Summary: He has feelings for Iwaizumi Hajime, who probably has casual lovers just like him in every major city he visits on business. Oikawa is just his Tokyo Boy, just another pit-stop on Iwaizumi’s travels. Businessman AU
Trial by Fire
Word count: 78k
Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)
Watch Me
Word count: 32k
Summary: Oikawa's a cam model. It’s been a month since Iwaizumi first spoke in his chat. When they meet in person, things get complicated. Cam model AU
Angst
open when
Word count: 1k
Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.
Chasing Paper Suns
Word count: 10k
Summary: Post-high school,     Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The     next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart
Quote: “ ‘it’s just—I’m     just trying so hard—’‘What, and I’m not?’
Timeless (We Have 30 Days)
Word count: 12k
Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.
the weight of water
Word count: 6k
Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”
Canon Compliant
Are You Listening?
Word count: 4k
Summary: 30 times oikawa said i love you and 1 time he didn't have to
Quote: “Iwa-chan, watch out for the log—!” Oikawa looked on in horror as his best friend tripped and fell flat on his face.
Edge of the balcony
Word count: 8k
Summary: Iwaizumi looks older, he realizes. Oikawa knew he had aged as well, and so did everyone around him, but the thing was when you see people often, you don't notice the subtle changes in appearance. And Oikawa hadn't seen Iwaizumi in four years.
How can this loser ever win
Word count: 2k
Summary: everyone is in stupid love with Iwaizumi Hajime and he has no idea
♡♡♡Lost in Translation
Word count: 9k
Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women's volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.
maybe we could be enough
Word count: 9k
Summary: iwaizumi hums in reply as the car goes silent, frank ocean crooning from the speakers. they stop at a red light when iwaizumi feels eyes at the side of his face, and turns to look at oikawa.
Most people never even get a single high school rival
Word count: 5k
Summary: Team Argentina gets to know Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer.
Primavera
Word count: 8k
Summary: They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.
Quote: Did you know that distance is only me, growing towards you?
♡♡♡rest on your laurels
Word count: 4k
Summary: In Iwaizumi’s heart of hearts, untouched by time, they are young and alive, burning with the hearth of home and bright as winter light. Unbreakable. Invincible.
♡♡♡Something Borrowed
Word count: 16k
Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.
‘Til Infinity
Word count: 2k
Summary: “Hey,” he says, “that cloud looks kind of like a dick.”
Quote: “I got you ladybug”
♡♡♡ You Set Off a Dream In Me
Word count: 15k
Summary: In which Oikawa is 41 and ready to retire. He's at the top of his game and ready to find a new challenge. Turns out his new challenge is pretty familiar. It's high school, round 2.
Quote: A past with an Iwaizumi that wasn’t on the opposite side of the net, monsters on all sides, guiding a setter that had lived the dream left behind in the ruins of Tooru’s past self.
Canon Divergent
a world alone
Word count: 60k
Summary: Iwaizumi has his medical books on the musculoskeletal system. Oikawa has his research papers on parallel universes. It isn't until much, much later that they realize they have each other.
♡Almost a Stranger
Word count: 16k
Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Kapan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.
Quote: There are only two things that have ever broken Oikawa Tooru’s heart. Iwa-chan would say Tooru has no heart to break, but that’s simply untrue.
Count your blessings, it goes 1,2,3, me
Word count: 7k
Summary: He's unsettled by the undefined boundaries of their relationship so it's all his luck that he accidentally wins three wishes to be granted just for him, and all that comes to mind is Iwaizumi.
Quote: Now, as an adult, past convenience of circumstance and the haze of hormonal lust, exactly none of his feelings have worn off
♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle
Word count: 66k
Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.
♡days fall away
Word count:17k
Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.
Quote: “You and Tooru,” he begins, and then shrugs. “I was just thinking, you look at each other a lot.” And he walks away, leaving Hajime winded, and sort of aching, somewhere deep in his chest. Whatever that means.
♡here comes your man
Word count: 8k
Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3 Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties. Doctor AU
♡♡In damp earth my body
Word count: 15k
Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening
In the Business of Love
Word count: 22k
Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...
Quote: A flare of pride lit in Oikawa as he watched Iwaizumi's eyes crinkle with mirth and in that yawning second, it bloomed into a warmth that bordered on a burn, forcing a bittersweet inhale.
it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)
Word count: 8k
Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.
Quote: Iwaizumi blushes even more. “That you’re here, I mean. I’m happy that you’re here. With me.”
♡♡♡Mint
Word count: 19k
Summary: It's the December after Iwaizumi’s last year in university when Tokyo welcomes him with a new ad campaign for Bright Days toothpaste, and Oikawa Tooru—fresh off a run at the 2016 Summer Olympics—has decided to grace the city with his signature grin, a flip of his wayfarer sunglasses, and the most irrepressible tag line for the signboard above.
Quote: "To be able to tell him, in the new year."  This comes under Oikawa's breath, so low that Matsukawa and Hanamaki can't hear, and the game continues.
Six-Month Lover
Word count: 89k
Summary: Iwaizumi barks out a laugh. “I’m still trying to get over the fact that you made a PowerPoint presentation about why we should date.” Oikawa doesn’t tell him the file has existed for the last twelve years, constantly receives updates, and that the original copy contained almost a hundred slides before he forced himself to get a grip.
Special Relativity
Word count: 22k
Summary: Time moves differently for people in different inertial reference frames. Oikawa goes on a two-year exploratory mission in space. Iwaizumi's been waiting for a lot longer than that.
♡♡sunset towns
Word count: 33k
Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.
♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)
Word count:     19k
Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.
Quote: Oikawa’s grin in  the last set of the morning’s game. Oikawa’s grin as they sat on their asses on a golf course. Oikawa’s grin when they were in college. When they were in high school. When they were twenty-two, seventeen, fifteen, twelve, six.
High School
Bet On It
Word count: 13k
Summary: Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.
Quote: The whole instant-compliance thing was seriously creeping him out. Oikawa from a week ago would have made a crack about how if he'd wanted something cold, he could have just put his face on Hajime's shoulder.
Betweens
Word count: 2k
Summary: Iwaizumi is asleep in the club room. Oikawa is blindingly awake in the club room. The sun moves slowly across the sky, and Iwaizumi’s skin is gold underneath it. Oikawa watches the changing shadows on Iwaizumi’s face and thinks about nothing in particular.
Don’t think too much
Word count: 6k
Summary:  In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have a confusing, drunken encounter and then deal with the (sticky) consequences.
Quote: As soon as that thought crossed his mind, though, Oikawa did what he always did:  exactly the opposite of what Hajime wanted
Gates
Word count: 12k
Summary: The day after their graduation ceremony, they drive to the beach at Shirahama. Iwaizumi drives, because it’s his car, and as he has told Oikawa on multiple occasions, he’d rather die than let him touch the wheel.
Quote: ‘Yeah,’ he says, because they’re on a beach, and they’re supposed to be on a metaphorical journey, and they’re supposed to be growing up, and completing rites of passage, so it’s honesty, today - just for today, at least.
♡♡i sing the body electric
Word count: 8k
Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.
Quote: But Iwaizumi thinks about Oikawa laughing with that girl in the low light of the gym, a particular kind of quiet intimacy that Iwaizumi’s only ever read about in books hovering in the air, and all it makes him feel is small and petty and spiteful.
it’s better than words
Word count: 3k
Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]
Make sure you cross the line
Word count: 4k
Summary: With graduation just around the corner, Iwaizumi knows he has to gather the courage to really ask Oikawa out.
Quote: He’s been asking Iwaizumi to go out with him every single day this past week, increasingly panicked about getting his time and attention now that they’re nearing the end of this season of their lives.
Only the jellyfish know
Word count: 6k
Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation. That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.
static
Word count: 6k
Summary: Being snowed in with all of Seijou volleyball in his childhood home brings back a lot of memories for Iwaizumi, because it's kinda Oikawa's childhood home too.
Quote: It's fate that brought them together and choice that keeps them that way. The closest description in Hajime’s vocabulary is partners, but only because Oikawa taught him what its true definition is.
Told before and told again
Word count: 3k
Summary: This is how Hajime and Tooru fall in love, through the accounts of those around them.
Quote: When Oikawa lets out a long, heavy breath, Iwaizumi looks up at him and frowns, and flings a towel over Oikawa’s head to cover his face. Then, he tugs, once, on Oikawa’s fingers, and leads him down the hallway, Oikawa walking quietly in tow.
♡we can do better than that
Word count: 16k
Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.
Quote: Because Iwaizumi’s known Oikawa nearly all his life and never felt anything more than vague affection usually followed by intense irritation for him. But then suddenly at eighteen years old and nearly two weeks into a very badly planned road trip, it’s like someone flipped a switch somewhere inside Iwaizumi
♡when it starts to rain, they go inside
Word count: 33k
Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.
reassemble it
Word count: 15k
Summary: When Tooru was six years old, he discovered—unbeknownst to him at the time—two of the most important things in his life: volleyball and Iwaizumi Hajime. It was ironic that he had stumbled upon them hand in hand—quite literally, too.
♡things that change, things that stay the same
Word count: 8k
Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)
Quote: Iwaizumi’s expression right now is less terrified than it used to get back then, but he’s tight-lipped with concern, and his broad body blocks out other passengers as if their stares might be a danger to Tooru too.
University AU
An Archaeology of Affection
Word count: 23k
Summary: For Hajime, it is a riddle and simultaneously so evident. It fills his chest, surging like water, paints heat up his neck. In retrospect, it eats up his days, makes them its own until it feels like his heart has always been in his throat at the smile thrown over Oikawa’s shoulder, the stilling of his fingers on Hajime’s sleeve.
closure
Word count: 22k
Summary: In his first year of university, Oikawa builds a new friendship and upgrades an old one. Or: Ushijima is not a great wingman, but he tries his best.
Quote: “On the first day of his university career, Oikawa Tooru walks into his dorm, spots his assigned roommate, and turns one hundred and eighty degrees and walks right back out. He dials a familiar phone number - the first one he ever memorized - and starts complaining before Iwaizumi even gets the chance to say hello. “Iwa-chan,” he says, “tell me why Ushiwaka is in my dorm room.”
♡♡♡galaxies, within you
Word count: 21k
Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.
Quote: I AM A HEADASS
Hands to yourself
Word count: 11k
Summary: He missed his parents, and he missed Takeru, and Takeru's badly behaved puppy. He missed Aoba Jousai, and he missed the volleyball team. He even missed Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, just a little.
Home, and how we made ours
Word count: 3k
Summary: “No, I like it here.” There’s a rustling as Iwaizumi shifts, inching closer. “I like it here, as in this crappy apartment—with you.”
Quote: “Do your fights end up being like—you know, about actual things and then extending into toddler days and suddenly you’re accusing Iwaizumi of kissing the girl you used to like in preschool?”
in progress to you
Word count: 6k
Summary: The eventuality of Oikawa and Iwaizumi falling toward each other is dramatically lackluster. Still, it's a process to go through.
Quote: “But what if you didn’t eat my pudding all the time?” Iwaizumi asks flatly, ignoring the way Oikawa is slapping his thigh to get out of his chokehold. “Do you think I buy them for you, huh? I buy them for me, you turd.”
Like we’re made of starlight
Word count: 6k
Summary: (a look into iwaizumi hajime’s journey of falling in love with oikawa tooru, from when they’re babies meeting for the first time to young adults moving in together.)
Ninety nine percent
Word count: 14k
Summary: more than anything, oikawa tooru wants to be with iwaizumi hajime, but he's only ninety nine percent of the way there.
Quote: Their ace was lining up for the ball, knees bent and arm pulled back, just as Tooru tosses the ball……to Hajime.
no sleep in the city
Word count: 7k
Summary: Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.
Quote: “I was only telling Hanamaki literally yesterday that your personality isn’t as vile as before,” Iwaizumi informs, slightly stiff from the way Oikawa’s got an arm looped through his own. “Why do you make me such a liar to people I care about?”
Out of nowhere
Word count: 8k
Summary: They move in together after graduation and it's doing weird things to Iwaizumi's heart. He's a little in denial about it.
Quote: Oikawa excitedly ran up to him when Iwaizumi came home with groceries the other day. Not about the food but just to say how boring everything is when Iwaizumi's not there, eyes shining, and he couldn't meet his gaze after from blushing down to his neck. He doesn't know how much more he can take.
♡♡shiver
Word count: 16k
Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.
Quote: “I’m in love with you,” Oikawa tells him three days after they graduate junior high, head in his lap and hands gently folded over his chest and completely and totally unconcerned that he’d just shattered Hajime’s world.
Terpischore
Word count: 38k
Summary: They’d ended up going to different universities, Tooru and he. The distance was good for them. The confession Hajime dropped in both their laps wasn’t. That’s how it’d ended – a lifetime of friendship crumbled to dust in the space of five minutes. (Or, a lesson in learning to move on from things you can't have, in finding old loves in new ways and in understanding that life is never truly simple... till it is.)
terrarium
Word count: 11k
Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?
these foolish things (remind me of you)
Word count: 3k
Summary: Oikawa helps Iwaizumi move into his new college dorm.
Quote: He’s desperate for something to happen. It must show on his face because Iwaizumi blushes and looks away. The thing is, Oikawa always looks at him like this when Iwaizumi isn’t paying attention.
They say it rains diamonds on Jupiter
Word count: 35k
Summary: "You're in love with him. "Hajime considers denying it. "Yeah," he says instead.
Quote: “Share the weight of your feelings with me, Hajime wants to beg when he hears Tooru's first hitched breath. Let me carry some of your burdens”
to be first, to be best
Word count: 26k
Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”
Undecipherable
Word count: 4k
Summary: "Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."
Quote: Because for all the bravado, for all the flaunting Oikawa does, he wants Hajime by his side, and no one else.
♡we shine like diamonds
Word count: 26k
Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."
Where you are (I’ll be)
Word count: 6k
Summary: Theirs is a love that starts out like a seed and it takes two sets of hands tending it for a shoot to appear. There are no dramatic declarations of love, only a pair of hands that find each other again and again and again.
Quote: Oikawa broke off into giggles as Hajime slowed the descent of his hand from a slap to the back of Oikawa’s head to a gentle ruffle of the taller boy’s hair
♡♡with every second that you could give
Word count: 9k
Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.
Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.
Your love is sunlight
Word count: 6k
Summary: It's Iwaizumi's birthday, and they have a talk about the future.
Quote: But Hajime doesn’t think any present could top this: them, kissing in a sun-dappled bathroom, Oikawa’s skin warm under his hands, and the promise of a life together stretched out before them.
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yodawgiherd · 3 years
Text
Red flag pt.2
>>>Read on AO3<<<
Q and A sessions are surprisingly fun to write. Rating still M, I'm not thErE yEt. ^^
A week.
One week was how long Mikasa managed before the curiosity killed the proverbial cat and her fingers tapped the name of the newest addition to her contact list. Eren picked up on the fifth ring, sounding sleepy, which she thought was strange considering that it was about two in the afternoon.
“Yeager.”, came his muffled voice, followed by a yawn.
It took her a second before Mikasa realized that she didn’t give him her number, as per their agreement, so he had no idea who’s calling.
“Hey, it’s Mikasa.”, she re-introduced herself, “Remember me?”
There was a sound on the other end, a shuffle of bedding as he sat up straight.
“Of course I do, the pretty girl with the pretty name.”
“The one and only. Listen, is that lunch offer still on the table?”
“Totally, just tell me the place and time and I’ll be there.”
“Really? I can pick anything?”
He chuckled at how excited her voice became.
“I’m not a picky eater.”
“And it’s still on you, right?”
“Yep.”
“Well then…”
The sushi place was fancy, far above her poor-ass student budget. She was there twice so far, once Levi treated her when the news of Mikasa being accepted at the university arrived, and once when it was her birthday and Sasha decided to splurge for her best friend. And boy did Mikasa love both those experiences. She felt a bit guilty, abusing Eren’s blind trust like that, but hey, he offered it first, and judging from the state of his flat, he wasn’t doing half bad for himself. If it came to the worst, Mikasa was prepared to split the bill, she did have some money from her part-time job. The food was worth it.
Eren wasn’t there when she arrived, so Mikasa picked a table, getting herself comfortable. When the waitress came, she almost sent her away, to wait for Eren, but then reminded herself that she’s , most likely, not paying. Appetizer it was. When he finally arrived, she was already halfway done with the fried chicken pieces, which earned a raised eyebrow.
“Hungry?”, he asked, removing his coat and sitting down himself.
“Famished.”, she agreed, “Forgot to eat breakfast.”
She skipped breakfast willingly to save space for this feast, but that was something Eren didn’t need to know. Most likely satisfied with her little lie, he nodded before picking up the menu himself. The evening progressed with somewhat casual conversation and excellent food. Eren asked her how she’s doing lately, and Mikasa described the procrastinating bliss she’s been living in since her last exam. That paradise was coming to an end, however, as she needed to get out of the city soon and back to her hometown.
“To visit your parents?”, he asked, understandably not knowing the bitter truth that Mikasa wasn’t ready to share yet.
Instead, she shook her head.
“No, I have a part-time work at my brother’s gym.”, she pointed towards herself, “One personal trainer, right here.”
Luckily, Eren didn’t press the issue. The way he knew when to stop asking was an amazing thing, and Mikasa secretly wished that more people would be born with that gift. To break the silence that followed, and to change the course of the conversation, Mikasa decided to strike back.
“So, Eren, how about we stop beating around the bush.”
His grin was cheeky.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Please, as if you don’t know why I came here in the first place.”
He picked up one sushi roll that he was eating, with a fork like a damn savage, turning it against the light.
“The free food?”
She scowled at his amused expression.
“Because of my amazing company?”, he guessed again, getting a sigh in return.
“As if.”
“Wow, you hurt me.”
The smile present in the answer was infectious, and Mikasa had a hard time resisting it.
“You are quite the egoist, aren’t you?”
“So I’m told.”, Eren shrugged, unbothered by that accusation.
Unsure how to continue, Mikasa massaged her forehead. This guy was something else.
“Since it’s so important to you, “ Eren offered, “Why don’t you just ask?”
“Fine.”, looking back up, she met his emeralds with her own eyes, “What do you do for a living?”
“Care to guess first?”
More games? Fine, you’re on.
“Okay, sure.”, putting her chopsticks down, as she was a civilized person, Mikasa rested her chin on her intertwined hands, “Let’s go over what I know then. First, there is this strange… rope fixation you have, and you said that was caused by your job, right?”
“It’s not only ropes,”, he corrected her, “But it is related to my job, yes.”
“Second, when I called you yesterday you were still in bed, and it was around two, which means that you work late at night, right?“
“I could have been gaming all night, didn’t think about that?”
“Maybe, but maybe not. I’ll take my chances.”
“All right, then put the two together. What do you think I am?”
“A smug bastard.”
Of course he grinned at that.
“That’s true. But professionally?”
Putting on her best thinking hat, Mikasa rolled the facts around in her head.
“A policeman?”, she tried.
“Not a bad guess, handcuffs and night shifts.”, Eren took the time to have a dramatic sip before finally revealing the truth, “But you’re wrong. Try again.”
“Some sort of artist then?”
His eyes narrowed.
“I guess you could say that. But what kind do you have in mind?”
“Singer?”
“Nope.”
“Painter?”
“No.”
Mikasa tried a few more art-related jobs that would fit Eren’s profile, but he shot down all of them. At the end of her rope, she pulled out a trump card. Even looking objectively, outside of that “he was totally her type” thing, Eren was very attractive. Combine that with strange working times and….
“Are you a model?”
“Yea…..Nope.”
Damn it. Out of ideas, Mikasa put up her palms in the international gesture of surrender.
“Ok, I give up.”
“Guess we will never know then.”, Eren leaned back in his chair, smugger than ever before, “What a disappointment.”
Out of words and completely against her usually serious character, Mikasa kicked him under the table. Hard.
“Ow, what was that for?”
“Spill the beans, Eren.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll kick you again.”
Rubbing his shin and not sure that his bones would survive another kick like that, Eren decided that the teasing stage was over.
“Very well then.”, leaning closer, he put both his elbows on the wood, looking right into Mikasa’s eyes when he spoke.
“I’m a dom.”
The clueless look on her face was priceless.
“H-Huh?”
“Dom, master, and a hundred other ways you can call it.”
In slow motion, Eren watched as that clueless expression changed. With words falling and clicking into place, the not-understanding look was replaced by a blush that began creeping up to her cheeks. In short, it was adorable.
“Y-You mean like… like….”
“Yes.”
“Err… I…”
And Eren waited patiently, finishing his drink, while Mikasa kept trying to say a word and completely failing at it. It took her about five minutes before she finally closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, and steadied herself.
“So you’re like a s-sex worker? P-Prostitute?
“No and yes.”
“Huh?!”
“Technically, you’re right. But since I don’t have sex with my clients, I don’t usually call myself sex worker.”
“Ok, I’m lost.”
“Well, it's actually quite easy. I fulfill the fantasies of the client, I take care of their needs, I make them…. Err..”, he looked around to see if no one was around – they were in public after all, “…finish, but I don’t do it myself.”
“So what you’re saying is…”
“I’m saying that I can satisfy my clients needs without doing it the old-fashioned way. God bless technology.”
Mikasa was rubbing her forehead now, taking the information in.
“And your clients… what are they?”
“I deal with women exclusively if that’s what you are asking. But if you have a male friend in need of similar services, I know a great dominatrix, mistress A, that can take them, she’s a real top of the class. She was my…”, his gaze slid over Mikasa’s face, lingering over the shape of her eyes for a second, “ senpai back when I was beginning.”
She groaned. He had to use that word to tease her, abusing the weakened mental state she was in right now – she couldn’t think of a comeback. And, to salt the wound, he was grinning again.
“You can’t dump something like this at me without any explanation.”, Mikasa demanded, “How did you even end up working like this?”
“It’s…”, kind of personal, he was about to say, but then he met Mikasa’s eyes and that defense he usually held up around his secrets melted.
It was crazy, he didn’t even know the girl that well, he had no idea what she was truly like. But she was here, sitting across the table, and her grey eyes saw right through him. And he… he simply told her.
“When I was a kid, I was a bit fucked up. My dad…. He was not exactly a great role model. My mom was his second wife, he left the first after having a kid with her.”, he answered her follow-up question before she even asked, “Yes, I have a half-brother but we are not in contact. After leaving her, he married my mom and had me. I can’t say that he was a bad guy, from what little I remember, but he was hardly ever home. And one day, he completely disappeared. I don’t know if he’s alive or dead, neither does mom, and the police couldn’t find him. He’s gone.”
Mikasa, who had her own tragic parents-related story, remained silent, knowing that even years later it is hard to talk about stuff like this. Eren took a small break, a sip of water, and went on.
“I had a lot of issues from that, anger mostly. I lashed out on anyone or anything that I didn’t like, punching before asking. Bloodying people and getting bloodied myself was the only way to get the anger out, I did not know any better. You can imagine that didn’t go well in school. Mom did her best to keep me in line, but it was hard for her, too hard at times. Through sheer luck and endless patience of my teachers, I managed to graduate, but the anger inside me didn’t die. Even as an adult, I was a colossal dickhead. But all that changed shortly after I turned eighteen and moved to college.”
“Why?”
“Because I met her.”
Who? and How? were on the edge of Mikasa’s tongue, but she held those questions in. Eren would tell her.
“It was one of the college parties, you know how those go. I was there mostly to get drunk and get into a fight with someone because that was about everything I cared about back then. I succeeded in that too, I punched some blonde dude in the face and he didn’t take that lightly.”
“Did you beat him up?”
To her surprise, Eren tipped his head back and laughed.
“No. The dude completely wrecked me. He was a titan, both taller and heavier than me, and I later learned that he was a boxer as well. When I woke up from the beating he so generously gave me, I saw that a blonde girl had dragged me out on the lawn and was standing there still, waiting. Naturally, as I was a real gentleman back then, I spat out the blood in my mouth, told her to fuck off and tried getting up. Do you know what she did?”
“No idea.”
“She slapped me. Hard. I called her a stupid bitch, and she slapped me again. The third time, I got about two syllables out before her palm made another imprint on my face. And after all that, she kissed me, and I realized I was never so turned on in my life.”
Mikasa honestly didn’t know what to say.
“That’s….random?”
“I was a raging asshole back then Mikasa. I know that saying it now, it looks like she was acting out of her mind, but you weren’t there.”, Eren shook his head, “Anyway, that’s how I met the future mistress A. Annie.”
“How did she even know that you won't just flip out after she slaps you?”
“She didn’t. Later she told me that it was a hunch on her part, that watching me get into a fight with that giant for no good reason tipped her off, showed her that I might have some anger issues.”
“So, after that, she showed you the ropes?”
He didn’t miss the reference, it earned a respectful nod from him.
“Yes. She was already working as a domme, on her own back then, and mostly for fun and the experience. Annie was older than me by a year, and she spent that year mostly half-assing school and perfecting her skill for her future job.”
“What happened after that party? Did you two became a couple?”
“Not really. We didn’t date, like at all, but we became good friends, and Annie would train her techniques on me.”
“So what, she like tied you up from time to time?”
He nodded.
“That and other things. We practiced on each other, but we never made it sexual. I know it sounds crazy, but you didn’t meet Annie, she’s can drip hot wax on your nipples without batting an eye. I’d say that’s part of her charm, she’s completely stoic while working.”
“And you?”
“Honestly, in the beginning, it was weird as hell. But when we kept doing it, I realized that my anger was subdued by it, that this helped me overcome it for the first time in my life. With all the discipline and focus this required I managed to be in control of my life for what felt like the first time.  It was still difficult for me from time to time, I admit, but Annie was always there to put me back to my place.”
“How did she know that this was what you needed?”
“Annie also had… issues when she was younger. And this thing helped her through it, so she thought I might be the same. For the record, she was right.” Eren was having a pleasant memory trip, and Mikasa kept silent, not wanting to interrupt, “Anyway, after I realized that I prefer being the top, Annie found me a girl who liked being the bottom.”
“Finally a girlfriend?”, Mikasa tried again, but he chuckled.
“Nope, this one had a catch too. She was mostly a lesbian.”
“Mostly a lesbian?”
“Yea, she’s bi, but prefers women.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Why would I? She was tiny and amazingly flexible because she does gymnastics. Incredible performance partner, I still work with her from time to time.”
“But why didn’t she find a female partner then? If she prefers women that is.”
“She did, sort of, Annie worked on her too sometimes, I think that was why she even agreed to do it in the first place. But with a blindfold around her eyes and tied up so she couldn’t touch us, she kind of stopped caring who’s holding the vibrator.”
Mikasa felt like this was all a big joke, but Eren was completely serious.
“You had this little triangle of fun for how long?”
“Till we graduated. After that, Annie and I found the agency and got employed there, and Krista went on to become a doctor.”
“I’ll presume that Krista was that flexible one?”
“You’d presume correctly.”
“She’s a doctor, but she still does… things? With you?”
“She performs with us sometimes if that’s what you’re talking about. Nothing else.”
“You want to tell me that you’ve been doing BDSM…. stuff to each other for years and never fucked?”, Mikasa shook her head, “I don’t buy it.”
“You don’t have to, but it’s the truth. My relationship with both Annie and Krista was strictly professional, however crazy that sounds.”
“Then how did you develop your “can’t have sex until the girl is tied up” thing.”
“I dated in college normally, not much mind you, but a few flings found their way to me. Then it was pretty simple. When I had normal sex, I didn’t find myself half as aroused as I was when Annie slapped me for the first time. So I tried getting my hobby into play.”
Hobby, that’s one way to call it.
“And how did it go?”
“Not great. The first two girls said that I’m a creep and left. But the third one agreed and…”, Eren leaned back again, folding his hands behinds his head, “best sex of my life.”
“Fine, but if you enjoy it, why don’t you do it at work then? I’m sure some of your clients would appreciate it.”
“I’m sure they would, but I have this strange need to differentiate between work and pleasure - I think I caught it from Annie. I can’t get into it when I know that the person I’m tying up paid for it.”
“Strange.”
Eren didn’t argue.
“Strange indeed.”
All right, cool info dump and all, but Mikasa was more confused than anything. He was a sex worker BUT he didn’t have sex with his clients BUT he preferred to have the toys in bed while doing it. What the hell?
“Can you like, describe what you do then? I still can’t wrap my head around it.”
Eren shrugged.
“Sure. After making the initial contact, through the agency of course…”
“You’re still at the same one?”
“Yup, much easier that way. Don’t have to deal with things.”, Eren scrunched his nose, “Like taxes.”
“Okay, so some bored lady picks you at your company’s website, and then what?”
“Then we do the first meeting, through phone, email, or in person, that’s up to the client. There, we discuss important things, like what my hard limits are.”
“Which means?”
“Things that I won’t do, for various reasons.”
Mikasa didn’t ask what those were, so Eren continued.
“With that out of the way, we talk about what my client wants, what sort of fantasy I would be fulfilling. Once I have a picture in my head, I recommend the place to meet – one of the places owned by the agency, dungeons if you want, or even the clients own place.”
“You go to people’s homes with that?”
“If they want it, yes. It fits the best for certain scenarios, and people usually feel much more comfortable there.”
“And they trust you? I mean, you could tie them up and rob the place.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I never thought of that?”, Eren scratched the back of his head, “That’s a valid thing what you said, but I have the agency to vouch for me.”
“Okay. And then?”
“Then we meet at the place we picked, have a quick recap to make sure I’ll do everything she wants, pick a safeword and we are good to go.”
“And you do what?”
“Mikasa, my range of services is very wide.”, putting one hand on the table, Eren began counting, finger by finger, “Bondage, suspension, pain stuff like caning, whipping and more. Waxplay, petplay, some electro, and…”
“Ok, ok! I heard enough!”
“I’d imagine so. From how you reacted when I put the rope around your hands, let me guess that you are very vanilla, right?”
“Huh?”
“It means like basic – that you don’t do anything strange in the bedroom.”
“No, I…”, Mikasa ran her hand over her somewhat heated forehead, “I’m very vanilla.”
“Weird.”
She fixed him with a look.
“Why is that weird?”
“It’s just…” he gestured towards her, “People with your style are usually into it.”
“My style? You mean black?”
“Dark, goth, however, you want to call it.”, he reached up, tapping his ear, at the same place where Mikasa’s cartilage was pierced, “And those things are also not completely usual.”
“I guess I am a bit strange, but nothing compared to you, sir. I never even imagined….”
“Well, the big mystery is over, the cat is out of the bag.”, he looked at her with a strange emotion in his eyes now, one that Mikasa couldn’t quite decipher. It looked like… worry?
“We can still be friends, right?”, he asked.
It was not like Eren did anything bad to her, and while his job was a bit shocking, he was still nothing but the perfect gentleman.
“Right, of course. I… I’ll need some time to digest this, I think.”
Eren watched her, tapping his fingers against the table, teeth chewing his full bottom lip. He was thinking about something, Mikasa could tell, but before she could ask, he dropped the bomb at her.
“Come to one of my shows.”
“Huh?”
“My shows. I don’t do individual clients only, I perform at clubs too. BDSM clubs that is. I’ll write the address down.”
She was shaking her head before he even finished the sentence.
“N-No, I.. .No... I’d never.”
“I’m not asking you to take part, there will be plenty of people as spectators. And don’t worry about being recognized or something, the club is members only and you can grab a mask at the entrance if you want, your identity will be safe.”
His words burned with intensity now, but his eyes did even more, and Mikasa was drowning in it.
“W-Why is it so important to you?”
“Because I can see how you look at me now. You think that I’m some sort of pervert, that I what do is unnatural, not normal. I want to show you that it can be beautiful too, that there is nothing wrong if two consenting adults have a go at something like this.”
“I.. Uhm…”
The address written on a napkin, Eren slid it over to her.
“Listen, I obviously won’t force you into anything, this is your choice. The show is next week and then again in two weeks. You said that you are leaving the city soon, right?”
She nodded, wordless.
“Is it far? Or could you theoretically come back for the evening?”
“It’s not that far.”, Mikasa replied, finding her voice again, “Like an hour and a half drive.”
“All right. Let’s put it like this, if you want, come to the second show, the one that is two weeks from now, the club will be less packed, and I will tell the bouncer to let you in. Just let him know that Eren sent you. If you don’t want to, that’s fine too, I will understand.”
She nodded, once again retreating to no-words strategy. Eren took it as a cue, standing up.
“I’ll go settle the bill.”
When he came back, he grabbed his coat, putting it on while Mikasa sat there, gears in her head turning.
“If you won’t show, I’ll know that you are not interested in that part of my life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t meet again. Right?”, he smiled at her, “If you ever want a free lunch, give me a call, okay?”
That said, Eren half-turned towards the exit, ready to go when Mikasa’s voice interrupted him.
“Eren?”
“Yea?”
“Give me your phone.”
He did so automatically, even unlocking it for her. It wasn’t like there were any more dirty secrets he had to hide from her, not after today. Mikasa worked for a while, tapping the screen before she set it back on the wood and slid it over to him. Picking the device up, Eren saw that he had a new contact added – certain Mikasa Ackerman.
“This will be easier if we have a way to get in touch with each other right?”
Now he was the one dumbly nodding.
“Right…”
“I don’t know if I will turn up for your show, but I want to meet again. I don’t want to cut and run because of what you told me today. You’re a nice guy.”
“You’re saying that because I bought you lunch.”, Eren accused her with a smile, getting some bravado back.
She winked at him.
“Perhaps.”
Still smiling, Eren pocketed his phone, feeling like he got more out of this meeting than he even dared to hope for.
“Well, I’ll see you around then, Mikasa.”
“Take care Eren.”
She watched him leave the restaurant, her own lips curved upwards. When he disappeared from view, she ran her hands through her hair, a half-amused/half-nervous giggle falling from her lips. She had never asked this many questions in her life, not even in her classes. And the answers she got were…. something else.
This guy? This guy was getting more interesting by the second.
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subzerobts · 4 years
Text
Thoughts on the Eighth Member of BTS
A/N: No pairings or warnings for this, except that it may throw you into a sudden 8th member fanfic spiral. When I tell you I was reading 8th member fanfic for the majority of my day, I mean like a good six hours. It wasn’t good.
Okay, so I feel like a lot of people have talked about an eighth member and it being a girl and stuff so I figure I should add some stuff to the ever growing cache of things about the eighth member.
This was like 2300 words and I have no regrets.
~So if there was I feel like she would be slightly younger than most of them and would have come in after their first few albums
~Maybe she was raised in New York with her immediate family being mostly Korean and hella feminist and she’d have older brothers and be super chill
~So like maybe the company would be worried about the lack of fast growing traction with the group and have a girl added in
~First things first: it would be awkward as heck for the guys to suddenly have a girl there and would make living situations even more difficult, with having to share rooms and such. So, they’d probs alternate who rooms with who and who gets the couch, especially for her rooming with a guy
~Not to mention if she catches them talking about some sort of issue with the sleeping situation and then being nervous about it
~Eventually, I feel like she’d kind of get tired of all of the tiptoeing around her and be like
~‘Guys! I don’t even care! Unless you guys have some sort of creepy thing you’re trying to avoid, just treat me like one of you guys’
~Things would chill out basically immediately. Like the next few days, the boys were super relaxed and that was a problem because they just started walking around in just underwear and she would be like:
👀😒 um ew?? Put a shirt on?
~They’d clean it up a lil bit and walk around in like boxers and t shirts, which was fine she had older brothers, she could deal with that
~She’d respectfully bow out of the choreographed hip thrusts and things of that nature at first, like maybe they’d thrust and she’d like make a gagging motion or something(only rarely because the company would be like no) at some point she’d get extremely comfortable with just doing the hip thrusts herself
~The company even found that during interactions with fans she got just as much, sometimes more, attention and screaming as the boys
~Eventually she’d get used to dressing androgynous, like the stylist unnies would put her in skirts and she’d get kinda pissed and the guys would all agree that she’d be better in just what they’re wearing(i.e. pants)
~(Also, just a quick side note, before they even realized what was happening, they’d be super protective. Like unwarranted protection.
~Especially during interviews and talk shows any heavily toxic feminine questions related to her would be met with complete headassery(is that a word?) Just any kind of bullshit the guys could come up with.
~Like it wouldn’t happen immediately, but like after a few interviews and them seeing how uncomfortable it made her to answer the weird questions(coming from female OR male interviewers) they’d kind of come up with an unspoken agreement to answer any and every sexist comment or question with an answer just as shitty)
~ Into specific dynamics now:
~I feel like she’d be evenly split to each other member’s interests because in the first few months, that’s how she bonded with them, busy finding somethings she had in common with each of them and building on it
[we’ll go youngest to oldest]
~She is close with all of the boys, but each get her undivided attention when the moment serves.
~ With Jungkook she’d notice his quiet side during the beginning and willingness to please. So she’d always assure him, in a not so obvious way, that he was accepted. Just quiet validation from her court to his.
~So she’d set up gaming nights with Jungkook when they didn’t have strict schedules or just sit around on their phones
~ The fandom would eventually come to know them as the meme lords of the group.
~Their inside jokes are way too many to count and don’t even come close to being forgotten.
~Can’t forget GCF cause she would be in every single one of them that she could. She’s endlessly supportive of the videos and wants to be in all of them, she even suggests music and things(sometimes before he’s even thinking of doing another one)
~She disapproves when he pushes himself too hard. When she knows it’s happening, she’ll involve on of the hyungs( probably Jin) or they’ll talk to a manager if things get super serious.
~That being said, if he doesn’t have the dance down, or they’re both struggling, she’s the first to volunteer to run the dance with him multiple times and is always the voice of reason.
~When he says ‘one more time’ she says ‘food first’ or like ‘how about a water chugging contest really quick?!’ (bc we all know his competitive nature) ‘Jin probably has some left overs in the fridge that we can reheat, late night snack time!’
~They definitely argue a bit about being the “Golden Maknae.” She’s a bit competitive in that aspect. Because they’re both so talented and she’s just a half of a year older than he is.
~For Taehyung, I feel like she’d grow to love art with him. His quiet adoration for things of beauty, conventional or not.
~(They have a joke,mostly his own that he refuses to let die, that she’s his favorite piece of artwork, eventually she retaliates with him being her favorite piece of artwork and it just sticks.)
~They’d be the classy duo, but with matching boxy smiles. Elegant and poised, their visuals are basically unmatched and during photo shoots, they’re always the ones finished way before the others.
~There are no bad sides for the classy duo. (I’m basically imagining model material for both of them, like just ethereal. Visual god and goddessssssss)
~Also his need to fall asleep holding something, I feel like she’d match that with just being okay with anything when she’s asleep or almost asleep(like she’d fall asleep in the car with the boys or something and be difficult to wake up, so they’d just carry her and she wouldn’t even stir)
~So Tae would lay beside her and they’d be chilling and eventually fall asleep and then later wake up holding onto each other.
~Both of them are shameless damn flirts. They’re attractive and they know it and they will absolutely use it to (not literally) kill ARMY
~Jimin is a bit harder to think about(idek why) but I feel like she’d be his buddy in quiet studying. Like he’d come find her if he wanted to do some reading, but not be alone and she’d be totally down( same with Joon but hold on)
~and either she’d read her own book or she’d do some sketching(mostly because she’d want to have her own unique thing that the others weren’t too interested in)
~Jimin would be her ideal model in these moments. She never gets tired of sketching any of the boys, but in those moments, Jimin is the least likely to change face or position and thus be the perfect study.
~she’d also ask him for homework help in the earlier days with like mathematics and he’d always be more than happy to help
~Jimin is a brat and I feel like when the two of them spend a bit too much time together, the rest of the group can only expect the worst.
~(Low key the Lil-Shit Duo™️)
~Joon is next and here’s where her position in the group comes in. Since she was raised in New York, she’d be fluent in both Korean and English and, as such, would help with the interviews and translating.
~It’s a huge load for Namjoon to carry and with her, being by his side and helping with rephrasing things to the boys during interviews really eases him.
~Along with that, he always makes sure that she knows how much he appreciates her after difficult interviews or just every good while he’s just endlessly doting and complimenting her and things. She always tells him that it’s unnecessary, but he never stops thanking her.
~So they’re like the Leader Duo™️ and are consistently doing damage control between the boys(almost like group therapy) or rephrasing the boys’ answers(in those moments where the boys give weird answers to questions in interviews)
~When not in the public eye, they are coming up with ways to better interact with ARMY or they’re expanding their horizons by reading and stuff.
~Her favorite thing with Joon is working on learning a new language or just English with Joon and making up little tongue twisters and sayings and debating proper ways to phrase things. Which brings us to:
~Being a part of the rapline. So Joon, Hobi, and Yoongi are her peeps. When she’s not entertaining the maknae line, she’s with the Hyung line.
~Hobi and her have a cute dynamic. He babies her a little bit and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t love it at least a little.
~they like coming up with dances together, even when they are supposed to be taking the day off, just goofing around and coming up with dances for little snippets of songs is fun
~they’re like the sunshines of the group. So he’s J-hope and she’s his ‘little hope’. How cute.
~She’s constantly encouraging his little quirks and things that he does(the sound effects and just being him) and being right there with him in being the lights of the group.
~I feel like her and Jungkook get the same bit of his attention. Like the cuddly bits of it
(and my heart skips for cuddly JungHope so like imagining the three of them being cozy and mellow together and just watching the rest of the group do whatever. Agh my heart)
~My boy Yoongles is next and let me tell you I’ve been excited as hell for this one.(trying real hard not to let bias love seep through)
~When moving to a more spacious apartment, they decided to give her her own room. (She’s grateful.)
~And so when she wants to tamp down the wildness in the apartment, get a moment's peace, she retreats to her room.
~While she’s endlessly supportive of all six of the others, encouraging their wild quirks, her room is the quietest. Her room has a ‘no noise’ rule.
~Yoongi shares a room with Jin still at this point and not that Jin is a bad roommate, or particularly noisy, it’s just that the maknae line patronizes him a lot. And Yoongi has very little patience for that.
~So her room is where they’ll often find him. She has a comfy couch that she took Yoongi with to pick it out(because it was basically for him.)
~Point is, she’s mellow when she wants and needs to be and Yoongi is drawn to that chill side of her.
~When the rest are wild and he wants mellowness, he seeks her out and when she wants to be a bit rowdy, she leaves and closes the door.
~He has a gigantic soft spot for her. Not even kidding.
~The boys will always pull her into the situation if they think Yoongi might get too angry or a prank goes south and does more harm than fun amusement.
~They mention that she was involved and she goes with it because she doesn’t want the boys in too much trouble and Yoongi won’t hurt her like he would the boys(not actually hurt but you know like “beat them up”) or scold her too harshly.
~As soon as he finds out she’s involved the anger either dissipates or he removes himself from the situation so as not to hurt anything(but you bet your ass she scolds the maknaes from time to time on Yoongi’s behalf)
~And he definitely helps with her mixtape which the fandom is waiting for. Basically, chomping at the bit. She gives Yoongi and Joon so much credit tbh
~They definitely nap together. Mostly because they’re up at ungodly hours during the night, either working on songs or just talking because that’s definitely a thing that happens.
~They have similar views of the world(I’m mostly thinking of Interlude: Shadow here) but being lonely while being famous is definitely a view they share and are drawn together from that. Despite all of their wants to be on the top of the world, they want to not be lonely.
~Along with her keeping up well with the rowdy bits of the group, she’s definitely introverted like Yoongi. She does what she has to to further the group, but she does get drained and just kind of shuts everyone out some times.
~This is where Jin comes in. (Not to be that cliché bitch who’s always like Jin’s the mom of the group omg) but in this case, he makes sure she’s eating and taking care of herself when she does this.
~They all have locks on their doors and she keeps hers locked a majority of the time, but Jin and Yoongi are the only people she absolutely trusts with coming in unannounced.
~Despite always laughing at his dad jokes and being totally supportive of that, he knows when to turn on being serious and not taking her bullshit about “being fine” if she’s not.
~He forces(more like needles annoyingly) her to eat even when she says she’s not hungry during those times
~Makes sure she’s taking care of herself like showering and brushing her teeth and things.
~During the earlier years when she mostly stayed with the boys, very little contact to her mother in New York, Jin absolutely made sure he had cramp medication on hand and feminine products stashed in spots around the house. Well hidden obvi so the boys wouldn’t just stumble across them, but still there. (She does these things on her own now, but she’ll never forget the thought he put into making sure she was cared for)
~She’s definitely requested a majority of the time on EatJin. ARMY just likes to make sure that she’s eating(just like all of them) and they want to see the two of them talk.
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~All in all, the boys are her family and she wouldn’t trade them for the world.
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sheisbornadreamer · 4 years
Text
Blend in, chapter ten
...chapter ten?!
WARNINGS: No fluff in this chapter whatsoever, not even any cold-hearted intercourse alright, so just wipe all of those expectations away. There you go :) Plus this chapter is very short. And I suck.
Sorry.
But! Hopefully, a lot of things will get cleared up :)
...just read!
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Saturday, 10.48 AM Tachikawa's residence
"-and I bought these two jeans -aren't they gorgeous- y'know the assistant said I look just like Misha Barton, hah I wish but whatever I mean her BMI is totally anorexic and that's great and all if you wanna like, die, though you can't deny that she's freakin gorgeous I'd totally die for those legs wouldn't you -look aren't they cute!"
"Mmh," Sora's eyes submissively fell on the jeans covering her friend's legs, but her mind couldn't tear itself away from her new full-time dilemma. This was hardly ever a problem for the two; to Mimi Sora was merely a mirror -or a wall, rather. She didn't interrupt, but she didn't respond with any interest whatsoever. Except perhaps for the actual changing.
Mimi kept chatting, modelling her new clothes and checking her reflection in the mirror. Sora's eyes kept resting on her legs -covered in denim, half covered by a pastel skirt, or not covered at all. She had legs to kill for; always perfectly tanned, constantly hairless and never-ending. Legs of another species that yet remained the ideal for all the poor girls with earthly legs. Thankfully, Sora had stopped comparing herself to her best friend a long time ago, figuring that it was no use.
"So are you actually gonna talk to me about what's causing that creepy absence I've seen in you lately?"
It wasn't the actual words that pulled her out of trance; it was the tone. The skip from high-pitched excited girl-chatter, to worried sentimental adult mom -tone wouldn't pass anyone.
Sora reacted quickly enough to catch the question, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she pondered an answer. Bringing Mimi into the problem was like letting someone else help you with a card castle you're halfway through, but stuck with and too shaky to continue. A bit down the road -which might as well be the goddamn wrong one- she didn't want to risk starting all over again. If Mimi managed to confuse the hell out of her -which rather commonly happened; she was freakishly alike Taichi in that way- Sora would lose the tiny bit of sense she'd made out so far. And dammit, that took a long time to make!
'Sides, there's was no way she'd be able to explain this complicated story with sustained patience -and that was very necessary for it to be understandable.
Having that thought through, she forced herself to look at it logically. Voicing her reasoning would simply clear it up, not destroy it. Who knows, Mimi might see something that Sora, as partly involved in the whole thing, was incapable of. In all honesty, Mimi's train of thought probably ran closer two Taichi's -maybe Yamato's too.
So why not?
"Taichi and Yamato," she uttered, not knowing where to start.
The currently halfnaked teen threw her arms out. "Yeah, well duh. So was that rumor true?"
"Well now it is. I kinda it woke up some sort of attraction, or feelings or just fucking madness in Blondie, and Tai pushed his luck some and now they're shagging like rabbits while Yamato is brainwashing him."
There was a brief silence where Sora's stubborn self mentally said 'I told you so'.
"That didn't make much sense coming from someone who's usually very pedagogic."
Sora managed to smile, somewhat relieved by the refreshing view of Mimi laughing. In comparison, she felt old and worn-out. Why the football-player even allowed something that hardly concerned her get to her like this, she didn't know. Sora sighed, deciding to throw everything out of her skull for the other girl to sort out.
She comforted herself with the knowledge that, when it came down to gossip, Mimi had all the patience in the world. She started talking, trying to stay as objective as possible. Naturally, it was near impossible with Mimi's repeated gasps and questions and other interrupting sounds that she seemingly thought were necessary to show Sora that she really listened. Letting herself get stressed up by this, Sora ended up giving her the completely wrong idea. This was obvious when Mimi summed the whole thing up.
-'-
"Okay so if I've got this straight, Yamato-kun was stupid enough to talk loudly and about their after-school activity, with so many split signals that everyone mistook him for being gay, and then he freaked out and started fighting Taichi-kun for no reason. Then they shag in the school's bathroom and start bitching when you try to save them from being caught-"
"No, no, no" Sora interrupted, sighed and held up a hand when the honey-eyed girl gave her a confused look. "No, I'm sorry, I'm giving you the wrong idea here. I guess I'm just so fed up with Yamato -well, Taichi too- that I make it their fault. Just please let me take my time, so that I can do this right."
If it weren't for the fact that they had worked this through once, Mimi would've taken Sora's request -if she even took it in- the wrong way, and jumped to conclusions. But the brunet's way of rushing and misleading had in the past bothered Sora to the point that she had talked to her about it. Mimi had finally understood the problem and promised to improve -when she actually remembered. Now, Sora could simply remind her and she'd be back on track with no hard feelings. This was one of the improvements they'd been forced to accomplish since that time when their lives took a slight turn.
"Sorry" Mimi said with a small laugh, rolling her eyes at herself. Sora smiled back, but shortly looked away to be able to continue. This was important.
Mimi staid amazingly quiet through Sora's second try of revealing Taichi and Yamato's story, and when she later summarized it to see if she'd got it right this time, Sora was introduced with a new point of view that made ten times more sense. Sure, Mimi was perhaps a little too romantic and naïve, but hearing everything from Sora who's the total opposite, she balanced it up, filled out the gaps and straightened all those things that had been invisible to the redhead.
"...so when Yamato's finally fed up with Taichi's immature behavior and mocking, he snaps and comes out and tells him-"
"-yeah, probably during that detention-"
"-or after they'd escaped. You know you're not supposed to talk during detention."
"Right"
"And Tai just... finally gets it?"
"He's not dumb. Not when it comes to Yamato; he's like a living lexicon."
"Not now though..."
"Stick to the subject!"
"Sorry."
"S'okay."
"So Taichi agrees to back off, and overdoes it to make Yamato miss him-"
"He really did, it showed. So yeah, Yamato misses him and finally asks him out!"
"...what?"
Sora hesitated. "Well, no... but it was so cute!" She grinned. "You were there, or at least after that. That Friday we went and saw The Holiday-"
"Yeah! Oh, Jude Law is so hot..."
"Hey!"
"For a guy at least."
"Heh. So they hang out Friday night, and there's surely tons of sexual tension and then they screw each other."
"It's called making love."
Sora snorted, causing Mimi to scowl even more. Which in turn caused Sora to grin wide. "Yeah, yeah, they make sweet love to each other. Yamato did want to though; he wasn't drunk or anything, just seduced. But he regrets it the next morning, throws Taichi out and asks me to come over. God, he was so messed up." Sora blinked, regaining the sympathy she'd felt for him that day.
"And then you leave, and... did they talk after that?"
"No idea. Maybe."
"They were even more awkward the Monday after that right?"
"Yep. And..." Sora frowned -ignoring Mimi's whining about wrinkles- trying to recall what else happened that day. "Oh!" she exclaimed, remembering. "That was when he hit him!"
"Ah." Mimi complied, also recalling that from Sora's story.
"I think Yamato was avoiding him, and Taichi got a bit annoyed I remember -he snapped a few times at me that day when I asked where Yamato was. Then boom! When I went to my locker at the end of the day Taichi's lying on the floor clutching his jaw and Yamato's a whiter shade of pale."
"And then they just forgive each other" Mimi filled in, smiling because she knew how much it had puzzled the redhead. "And they walk out together"
"Right, and this is the weird afternoon thing Tai told me about, when Yamato had nursed him and then took of as if a Scream-dude were chasing him-"
"-which confused the hell out of Taichi"
"Yup. Next day?"
"The avoiding-day. Yamato's fallen off the face of earth"
"Taichi's whining like never before-"
"And boom!"
"They make sweet tender love with each other," Sora teases.
Mimi shakes her head determinedly. "Nope. That's screwing. Calling it lovemaking would be an insult."
"Tai is walking on clouds."
"Yamato still avoids you guys."
"And here's where things gets really fucked up. Taichi becomes his personal slave, and Yamato has him all brainwashed."
"Taichi starts his too-happy gimmick -which, mind you, is a total give-away - and covers his master by constantly distracting you and himself."
"Gah, it's tiring just thinking about it..." Sora muttered, rubbing her eyes.
"Poor baby."
She stuck her tongue out in reply. "I'm up to here with his stupid jokes. And you know he actually talked about girls at one time!"
"So maybe he's bi?" Mimi offered, not seeing the issue.
"Fine, maybe he is. Doubt it though." Sora added, crossing her arms sullenly.
"Oh, come on! He's talked about girls plenty of times, and hasn't he even gone out with a few?"
Sora gave her a long look. "You believed that?"
Mimi shrugged. "Gotta give him some credit."
Sora snorted, then remembered the other ironic thing. "He also tried making me talk about guys!" she announced, sending the other teen a challenging gaze, as if daring her to brush that off just as easily.
A grin slowly spread over the other female's face, and the next second they were laughing their heads off.
"Okay, okay..." Sora eventually gasped between laughs, "We're loosing focus here."
Mimi nodded in agree, picking up where they left off. "This is the tricky part. You solve it by saying that Yamato's simply turned into a maniac all of a sudden,"
"Well he did! I mean first he's like 'no, I don't like him, don't like him' when he actually does and slips up when Tai decides to be all over him. That I can understand, but this on the other hand is madness!"
"Okay, don't hurt yourself. What's the reason Yamato has denied his feelings from the very start?"
Sora shrugged. "The gossip. He worries too much about other people's opinions."
"Right, and that's why he doesn't want Taichi to tell anyone."
"Yeah, well that I get-"
"So he uses the power of sex to keep Taichi quiet. No secret -no sex"
Sora threw her arms out impatiently. "Sure, that's-"
"-and if he would be the slightest bit of friendly, Taichi wouldn't take it that seriously." Mimi quickly pointed out.
"But I don't understand why he can't even kiss him!" Sora exclaimed, half aware that she was sounding like a little kid saying 'it's not fair!'
Dammit, it wasn't fair.
"I mean if this is a power method then he should reward him or lure him with-"
"Kisses?" Mimi filled in, raising perfect eyebrows.
"Tai's a kissing type of guy."
Sora couldn't help but wallowing in the irony. In one of her and Taichi's uncommonly intimate conversations the boy had admitted that he'd choose kissing over sex any day. On the other hand, by that time he was eleven and didn't know one bit about sex -not that much about kissing either. But Sora had a feeling this hasn't changed. She'd never heard him utter this ever since though, maybe -just maybe- because Sora had happily used this knowledge to throw in his face whenever she had the chance.
"I take your word for it" Mimi promised, knowing how close the two where. They probably told each other everything -or at least used to. She hesitated, catching the sudden sad look in her friend's eyes.
"...maybe Yamato doesn't find it that necessary, considering that Taichi's still under his spell -with or without kisses."
"Mm." Sora sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. "I know what you're saying, it's probably not that weird, but I mean even though it's just sex there should still be some sort of... okay, let's just say that Yamato's only interested in Taichi because he's a guy and close at hand. Wouldn't he still be interested in doing things to him? Doesn't have to be any feelings in that. And what about this control-thing? How fun is it to sneak around with someone, when you can't even let go while you're alone?"
Mimi remained quiet. She shook her head and sighed. "I don't know."
"Taichi didn't tell me a lot when I interrogated him, but what I did find out was that Yamato rushed through it, afraid to be caught by his dad -that's not blameable-, forbade kissing, never did anything to Tai, let Tai be the top-"
"That I find a bit weird." Mimi spoke up, pursing her lips as she pondered different possibilities.
"...maybe it's easier getting fucked by someone you hardly care about, than shoving your dick into someone you don't have feelings for." Sora suggested, wrinkling her nose slightly at her own words.
Mimi nodded thoughtfully, snickering a little when their eyes met. "Who would've thought we'd be discussing the mystery of sex between men?"
Sora chuckled, shaking her head. "Especially those two, who's been nothing but friends until now."
They were both quiet for a while.
"Alright," Sora sighed, breaking the tense silence. "Have we made any sense so far?"
"Sure, Blondie's afraid of the school finding out, of his dad finding out, of anyone finding out-"
"But what about the bathroom make-out?" Sora remarked, holding up a finger.
"Um... he's gay?" Mimi retorted, raising an eyebrow.
Sora bit her lip. "Yeah, but-"
"He's never had a girlfriend, probably never been interested in anyone and suddenly he's kissing someone and actually feels something, I mean he must've had a total black-out! After all, he's only human"
Sora surrendered, holding up her hands. "Okay, point taken"
"And all the avoiding was probably just to stop more rumors, and y'know, he's awkward around Tai because he's sexually attracted to him. And also because Taichi is too indiscreet."
Sora leaned back, smiling at the brunet. "This really is your area, huh?"
She was answered with a cheeky grin. "Sure is. And," she continued, finally realizing that she was still standing up and sat down on her bed beside Sora, crossing her legs. "I think the night before he really started to avoid you, was when he came out to himself!" She threw her arms out happily and Sora laughed. "He was like 'ok fine, I like guys. Now who should I have gay-sex with? Ah, here's my loyal friend who's open-minded slash gay as well, this'll be easy. But oh no! No one can find out! I know: I'll avoid him at school, and then I drag him home, make him my bitch and I have free afternoon sex everyday with no one bashing me!'"
"He's such a jerk." Sora grumbled. "I can't believe he actually pulls through it, I mean they used to be friends! Really good friends"
"Yeah, but he does avoid doing things that would make him feel guilty. If he'd use tricks and like pretended to care about him it would make him a bigger jerk. And he avoids him so he's not around to see how screwed up Taichi's become of this. And," she emphasized, catching the redhead's attention, "if he'd be the top, it would almost make this rape. He's planned this."
Sora stared at her, lost in that thought. "So..." she started hesitatingly, after what seemed like a small eternity. "There's still a small chance of him being human?"
Mimi tilted her head, eyelashes jumping as her gaze flicked around the room. For a moment her expression told Sora that she'd soon have the solution, but then the wise look was replaced by a playful glint. "Let's just say that, for now. Yamato still cares about Taichi, and the part of him that's not filled with hormones is full of shame and regret."
Sora, somewhat past the disappointment of not getting the answer to everything, nodded, accepting the theory. "Right."
"So just imagine being in his shoes; how freaking easy would it be to talk to your best friend that you're just using for your own pleasure? Or kiss? Being the one who fucks him, it... would just be too wrong. Or rather too obvious that it's wrong. Plus there's no wonder he's tense, and stressed and easily annoyed, and cold. He must hate himself!"
Sora held her hands up, chuckling. Mimi was getting a bit too into this. That girl watched way too many soap operas. "You're right, never thought I'd say this but it makes sense. But, if it's so clear that no feelings are involved, why don't they just enjoy it? As he's stated enough times, Tai only wants sex, and he's okay with Matt only wanting that too. So why would Matt feel guilty when he knows that it's not personal?"
Mimi shrugged. "Because they've fought so much, maybe, and it's still a bit weird screwing as friends."
"But they're not friends anymore" Sora commented, raising an eyebrow. Somehow she enjoyed criticizing her friend's casual reasoning.
"Like I said, if Yamato still cares about Taichi so it must feel wrong having such a platonic relationship"
"But Tai doesn't mind it, so there's no harm done"
"Right, but since they're not communicating -as I'm assuming, Yamato doesn't know how Taichi feels about this and hates himself in case he's hurting him and has to act cold not to break down and so they can't communicate and work things out and they'll just continue this. It's an evil circle." Mimi gestured enthusiastically.
Sora's eyes narrowed as she pondered the argument, not wanting to give in but she pretty much had to, didn't she? Mimi might be wrong, but she sure couldn't come up with anything better at the moment. Plus that evil circle thing really took a lot from her energy to continue this. Sora threw her hands up, deciding that this just wasn't her territory.
"Touché!" she called out, face breaking into a grin as the other girl threw her arms up victoriously.
"Now let's go shopping!" Mimi demanded happily, dragging Sora up from the bed and started skipping out of the room, grabbing her purse on the way.
"Wha..? I thought you've already went shopping?" Sora stuttered as she was dragged down the stairs, desperately trying to keep up with the steps.
"Well yeah for me, but we're shopping for you now!" the other girl replied perkily. She stopped at bottom and turned around, causing the slightly dizzy redhead to crash into her. Mimi pushed the other girl's shoulders an arms length away, locking determined eyes with distracted ones. "We're going shopping, and you're not going to puzzle Dumb & Dumber's problem -which by the way doesn't even involve you- one more time, got it?"
Whether she would keep that up or not, Sora was fully aware of that Mimi accepted no other answer than yes. Thus, she saluted.
"Yes ma'am"
As they walked out the door arm in arm, Sora sincerely hoped that she would keep that promise.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
will be continued.
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mimikyufriend · 3 years
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besties, I can't do this </3
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lavenderprose · 7 years
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could you do 4.2 for the fic thing?
[Some of the Mob AU for you, because it fits]
Half of the city attends Viktor’s funeral. At least, it seems that way. The streets of Petrogorod must be empty for how many people are gathered into the cathedral where Viktor Nikiforov is being laid to rest. Yuuri sits in the second-to-last pew, all by himself, and doesn’t recognize a single person in the front row. They are all blue-eyed and silver-haired and Yuuri couldn’t name one of them if his life depended on it. 
Many of the people in this church are career criminals. The amount of blood on the hands in the nave of this cathedral could fill the place to the brim.
And yet, most of them seem genuinely distressed by Viktor’s death. 
Yuuri attends the funeral in the same suit he wore to his first meeting with Viktor, because there’s a sort of appropriate irony there. He doesn’t want to wear any of the suits Viktor bought for him. He doesn’t even want to look at them. It defines his complicated relationship with the man, that he’s sentimental enough to wear something Viktor hated, but not to wear something he actually liked.
Yuuri foregoes the procession, mostly because the idea of adding his beaten-up compact to the long line of sleek sports cars and SUVs making their way through Petrogorod’s main streets is a depressing one. He drives to Viktor’s building, instead, and is only mildly surprised when Anatoly still lets him in the door.
“How was the funeral, sir?” Anatoly asks gently, and Yuuri doesn’t know how to explain a loneliness so profound that it feels like he’s the one who’s died, and so he just shrugs and offers a sad smile. Anatoly says, “I thought so. I’m sure you’re very tired, but could I have a moment of your time?”
All Yuuri really wants to do is retrieve Makkachin and leave this building, go back to his own apartment in Shoboro and pretend that the last eight months of his life never happened. He can’t even remember the last time he spent the night in that apartment. He’s forgotten which way it is you jiggle the tap in the shower to make it run warm for more than twenty seconds at a time.
“It’s important,” Anatoly says, like he can see Yuuri’s hesitation.
Yuuri sighs and nods, and follows Anatoly into the door behind the desk and through into what must be his personal office. It’s a nice place, with two plush chairs opposite the desk and a set of pictures featuring an attractive young family. A woman, three little children, a dog.
“Are those real?” Yuuri mumbles, knowing full well at this point that Anatoly is much more than just a doorman. He doesn’t know if Anatoly would take the risk of displaying his real family photos in an office that acts as a glorified doorway to the underworld.
“Some of them,” Anatoly says, and it seems like an honest answer, so Yuuri accepts it. He sits down in one of the chairs, letting himself go mildly boneless against it. Anatoly hands him a finger of something expensively amber, and Yuuri doesn’t even taste it before it goes down.
“Viktor did not have many people he trusted,” Anatoly says, perching on the edge of his desk. He splays his fingers over a thick file folder.
“I thought his whole business model was based in trust,” Yuuri scoffs. For all it did for him. Trust in his people, an eye for an eye, a bullet between the eyes.
Anatoly tilts his head to the side. “This is also true. But he had checks and balances. Viktor never gave anyone the full picture. Everybody had just a small piece of the puzzle, and he kept the whole solution inside his own mind. But, as you know, men are mortal.”
“Yes,” Yuuri rasps, harsh. “I do know that, Anatoly.”
“I was the only other person Viktor trusted with the...delicate details, shall we say,” Anatoly says, and unfolds the file. 
“Why you?” Yuuri mumbles, brows furrowed. “Why not Yura? Or Georgi?”
“Yura is still a child,” Anatoly says. “Had Viktor died after he turned eighteen, then this job would have fallen to him. Georgi is and always has been a flight risk. Viktor couldn’t entrust someone so unstable with information like this.”
Yuuri thinks about all the things Viktor whispered to him in the night, knowing full well how flighty Yuuri himself could be, and wonders.
“Okay,” Yuuri says after a moment. “Is there a point to this?”
“Until Yura comes of age,” Anatoly says, straightening himself up, “I’m the acting head of Nikiforov Enterprises and all of its...extracurricular business. This means that it’s my job to carry out all standing orders from before Viktor died.”
“And what are those?” Yuuri mumbles, limbs slowly going heavy. The drink must have been stronger than he thought. “He told me that if anything happened to him, he wanted me to take care of his dog. And make sure Yura...that Yura grew up well. That’s--that’s the only thing he said.”
“Ah,” Anatoly says, clearing his throat. “And was that before or after you shot him in the head?”
Yuuri’s head snaps up, despite the oppressive drowsiness weighting him down like there are rocks on his hands and feet. “What?”
“You were the only person in the room with him when he died,” Anatoly says, flipping through the folder with complete nonchalance. “You are the only person who could have killed him.”
“No,” Yuuri says. “No, it wasn’t me--I’d never--I...I lo--”
“You loved him, yes,” Anatoly says, and holds up a picture that makes Yuuri’s head spin. It’s him and Viktor in the window of Viktor’s bedroom, and Yuuri can see his own sweaty hands flat on the glass, Viktor’s face buried in his neck, the tight connection of their hips. Yuuri feels a hot shot of shame go through him, at the sight of his own erect penis pressing against the window, the gape of his own mouth. 
Nobody can see us this high up, Viktor had murmured into his ear, and Yuuri had believed him. His hand had gone over Yuuri’s navel and between his legs and his touch had been so tender and Yuuri had believed him.
“It seems he loved you too,” Anatoly says dryly. Yuuri is almost sliding out of his chair. “Which may be why you succeeded where so many others failed. It’s understandable, that Viktor allowed himself to be so distracted. He always did have a soft spot for men like you. How many times did you have to suck his cock before he told you everything you wanted to know?”
“Fuck you,” Yuuri spits, even as his tongue gets heavier. “It wasn’t--wasn’t like that--”
“The drug in your drink was Ketamine,” Anatoly tells him, “in case you were wondering. In a few minutes, you won’t be able to move. The amount in your drink wasn’t enough to kill you, but the amount in this--” he reaches behind him and holds up a syringe, “is enough to kill several full-grown men. Once you’re nice and complacent from your first dose, it won’t be hard for me to administer this one.” Anatoly taps the syringe with the back of his finger, idle. “I’m sorry it had to come to this, Yuuri, but we just couldn’t let you live.”
“No, you’re wrong.” Yuuri feels about twice his own weight. Holding his head up is becoming a challenge. “I wasn’t--please, ask--ask Yakov, or Georgi, they know--they’ll believe me, it wasn’t--please, God, please don’t do this!”
“Relax, Yuuri.” Anatoly rises from the desk and kneels beside him, rolls up his sleeve. Yuuri tries to jerk his arm away, but it’s like his muscles aren’t even listening to his brain. His mind clouds, his thoughts go in ten thousand different directions at once. He’s thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. Anatoly wraps a rubber hose unpleasantly tight around Yuuri’s upper arm. A tourniquet.
“You’ll never--” Yuuri’s eyes flutter, head tilting back as his neck loses its battle with gravity. “You’re making a--huge mistake--Yura--”
“Will die too,” Anatoly says slowly. “And then Georgi. And then that blundering old bastard Feltsman. Anyone in my way...will die.” Anatoly twists Yuuri’s arm, looking for a vein. “Just like you. And just like Viktor.”
“You--”
Several things happen all at once. Yuuri’s foot, which was the only thing keeping him from sliding straight out of his chair, slips and he tilts sideways, out of Anatoly’s grasp. Anatoly swears and rises to wrestle him back into his chair. Before his hands reach Yuuri, an ear-splitting crack rends the stony atmosphere. Yuuri feels stickly warmth bloom across his own face and for a moment thinks it’s himself that has been shot.
When Anatoly slumps over, and Yuuri sees his unseeing eyes and his missing ear, Yuuri knows it isn’t.
Viktor Nikiforov rushes into the room and kneels beside Yuuri.
“Yuuri,” whispers Viktor, or maybe a ghost. Maybe Yuuri is dead after all. “Oh, Yuuri, what did he do to you?”
Then, finally, Yuuri passes out.
--
He almost doesn’t realize his own apartment, in the low light. Mostly because he hasn’t been here in months save for short visits to grab clothes, but also because Makkachin is at the end of the bed and large poodles are not a standard feature of Yuuri’s bedroom. 
His muscles ache, his thoughts are foggy. It takes him a moment to remember that Viktor might not be dead. When he does, he springs out of bed with something that’s half-alarm and half-rage, and almost slams right into Viktor as he comes in the room.
“Whoa,” Viktor says, steadying him by the shoulders. “Relax, Yuuri, you shouldn’t--”
“Viktor,” Yuuri breathes, and has to tilt his head back because he’s barefoot and Viktor is wearing those stupid boots. “You’re--Oh, oh my God--”
“I know,” Viktor says, “I know, shh, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m alright.”
“You stu--you fucking--” Yuuri raises a palm and wants so badly to hit him. Viktor even waits for it, unflinching, like it’s his due. He hits Viktor’s chest, instead, and then again and again. Over and over until Viktor finally takes him by the shoulders, and they sink back onto the floor together.
“Yuuri,” Viktor says, wheezing, cheek on Yuuri’s head even as he continues trying to hit him. “Yuuri, please darling. Yuuri--”
“FUCK YOU!” Yuuri screams at last, and finally does slap Viktor in the face. His head whips to the side, and Yuuri feels an odd sort of satisfaction settle over him. 
“Okay, I deserved that,” Viktor mutters, touching his bloodied lip.
“Fuck you, Viktor!” Yuuri screeches, completely aware of his voice getting away from him and utterly unable to stop it. “What the--how in the he--I’m so--what the fuck! I watched you die, I--fuck you, fuck you, I should--you--” He takes in a shuddering breath and tries to convince himself that the lump is his throat is one of rage, and not one of tears. He will not cry. “I went to your fucking funeral, Viktor. I saw you--in a coffin--dead. You were--pale, and you weren’t moving, and your hair--” Yuuri presses his fingertips to Viktor’s fringe, heart wreaked. “It wasn’t--they didn’t do it right, and I--your hands were so cold. Vitya. Vitya.” Yuuri feels his lips wobble, his cheeks bulge. He’s definitely crying now. “I buried you, Vitya.”
“I know,” Viktor whispers. “I can’t imagine how horrible it was, Yuuri, and I’m so sorry. You have to believe me when i say I thought I was keeping you safe. You have to. The only reason I did any of it was to--to protect you.”
“Well that worked like a charm,” Yuuri scoffs, huddling back against the bed and frantically wiping his face.
“I never thought Anatoly would go after you,” Viktor says, and now he’s on his knees, like he’s groveling, and Yuuri is just going to fucking let him do that. “At least not at first. I had no idea that he knew the extent of our--”
“He had pictures, Viktor,” Yuuri hisses. “I’ve never felt so violated in my fucking life. Where did he get them from?”
“I don’t know,” Viktor says. “My hand to God, Yuuri, I do not know. I don’t know where he was getting any of his information from. I was convinced he would go after Yakov first--that’s where I’ve been the last few days, waiting, but then the tail I had on you--”
“You had a tail on me?” Yuuri snarls. 
“Of course I did,” Viktor snaps. “Don’t be ridiculous. There’s no way I would have left the man I love unprotected, do you think I’m stupid?”
“Sometimes,” Yuuri snaps back, but it’s with less venom. He huffs and runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes and lets the words the man I love revolve around his head for a moment. He wants to be in Viktor’s arms so badly. His pride and his anger war with the part of him that is still shrieking this man’s name in a dark room, waiting for him to wake up. “Do you know...what you’ve put me through?”
“Not exactly,” Viktor whispers. “Nobody I’ve ever lost has come back to life.”
Yuuri sighs and finally crosses the space between them and allows himself to be held. 
“I’m still angry with you,” Yuuri whispers, as Viktor rubs gentle circles into his back. “And you still have...so much explaining to do. But I’m--God, I’m so relieved.”
“Shh,” Viktor whispers, as Yuuri sobs into his shoulder. “Shh.”
Later, Yuuri stands up and shuffles into the bathroom, taking off his bloodied clothes as he goes. Viktor follows him, and Yuuri still isn’t sure he can stand to have him out of his sight, so he waits for him to strip too before getting in the shower. Viktor washes his back and his hair, and then they lay down in the bath tub together and let the water wash over them like rain.
“It’s nothing like yours,” Yuuri murmurs, a little bit of self-consciousness creeping in. Viktor’s bathroom is worth several hundred thousand dollars. Yuuri’s is worth less than the caulk slowly peeling up from the tiles.
“Shh,” Viktor whispers, and Yuuri shivers as his nose brushes behind his ear. “Yuuri...let me make you feel good.” Viktor slides down his body, takes him in his mouth, and Yuuri’s hand clenches in the shower curtain. The other one tangles in Viktor’s sopping hair.
“Oh...oh...” Yuuri’s back bows off the tub floor. 
Viktor Nikiforov gives pretty damn good head for a dead man.
“You said you loved me,” Yuuri whispers into Viktor’s mouth, when he crawls back up and thrusts their hips together, and Yuuri feels like crying all over again. “Did you mean that?”
“I’ve never lied to you,” Viktor says against his neck. “Not even when it might have been easier to.”
“You let me think you were dead,” Yuuri chokes, as Viktor’s cock slides next to his, hot and almost unbearable. 
“I died for you,” Viktor says. “Yuuri, the world thinks I’m dead. We can’t go back. Going back means someone’s life. Yuuri, I’m a dead man. All I have left is my body.”
“That’s all,” Yuuri whimpers. “That’s all I need. You, you’re all I--” He cries out in sharp, shrill bursts. He feels Viktor throb.
“My body and you, Yuuri Katsuki,” Viktor whispers against his neck, settling against him as the water cools. “That’s all I have left.”
Yuuri presses a long, hard kiss to his forehead.
He doesn’t know what it means, that he’d kill someone for this man.
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