#PLS THATS ALL I ASK FOR

[mariewriting]

SOMEONE ASK ABOUT OMORI PLEASE -😭

I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS

PlsgivemeachanceI'mbegging

#I'm barking #pls thats all i ask for #just one request about will make me happy pls😭

[socialbunny]

 Skip has always found a way to work through his problems and turn them around with relative ease, but the sudden death of his wife, Brandi, has brought his mostly carefreeness towards his children  to a stand-still. With two freshly traumatized children and a newborn under his belt, can Skip juggle turning his shitty ass life around for his family, or will he crumble under the weight of his past mistakes?

Darleen hasn’t been the same since her husband, Darren, died, though she’d be quick to argue with you if you said anything of the sort. She’s FINE! She misses her husband, undoubtedly, but she’s not going to let that very, very, very tiny thing wreck her whole life, and she’s not going to let people give her grief about ANYTHING. Sure, she got fired from her job a few months back and hasn’t made any strides to find a new one, and she’s losing touch with her son as she goes and squanders all her responsibilities by partying and drinking on par with younger years, aaaaaaaaaaaaand the almost obsessive idealistic crush she’s developed on her neighbor is clouding the second half of her judgment, but she’s bounced back from worse and knows everything’s going to come up Darleen :) …………. hopefully

#POSTING THIS BC IVE HAD IT DONE FOR 2 MONTHS KINDA? i kept feeling uninspired andiffy abt it tho so it just made me not want to finish it #posting this before i change my mind i hate darleens desc but its the only one im rockin with at the same time #ANYWAYS BASE D ON A SEMI AU IDEA IVE BEEN THINKING OF. WTV. DUSITN AN DIRK WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE YOUNGER FOR THIS AU TO MAKE SENSE. but #idc it just for funsies #common skip and darleen l's tbh #i support my alcoholic delusional wife in these dire times. #💙 #other names for these pics: #pls dont ask skip and darleen where their children r bc they dont kno #the painful ass crick darleens about tohave in her neck when she wakes up #skip doesnt know how to hold a baby apparently and its not bc there was something wrong with how i rigged him nooooooooo #gordon pls leave ppl alone and get a life #in my maxis dev 04 era the way these pics r so lazy #POTRAYING DARLEEN AS A GIRLFAILURE honestly. love fail darleen i need to do it more and show it more. #thats all if u read these tags i think ur in love with me and we should kiss

[4ndeka]

I WANT EMOTES FOR HIS BIG MODE SO BAD (also hehe more art for my edgy fanfic, enjoy)

#ramattra #violet #oc #overwatch #i wanna see his normal arms uncrossed #while hes in nemesis #is that so much to ask #like the B-boy stance is cool and all #but pls #my art #using my new favourite blorbo to bust outta art block yet again #oh also if you headcanoned Violet looking different #thats valid i literally havent fescribed what she looks like lma

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #MAN I SWEAR WHEN THIS CONVERSATION HAPPENED I WAS SWEATING BRICKS IN WORRY #anyway i forgot to save before speaking to yosuke so i dont know what the other options are BUT YOU KNOW YU HAD TO ASK IF HE WAS OK #thinking about that comic where yosuke was being harrassed by some punks #theres something about the way hes telling this story that feels like he was treating it as being incidental. as whatever. #like “oh yeah im fine?? anyway thats not the point of the story i wanted to tell you about how they were so terrified of kanji” #LIKE DUDE. BUDDY. YOUR LIFE WAS IN DANGER. DONT DISMISS IT LIKE THAT #the fact that bro came so close to being beaten up and it was a conversation that could have been easily missed #like if yu hadnt run into him at night was yosuke just going to... not bring it ip? #(yes of course he wouldn't you know what hes like!! he wouldn't want to be a bother on yu. nothing happened after all!!) #BBYGIRL PLS!!? YOSUKE MY BOY PLS RELY ON YOUR FRIENDS TOO.... #anyway i think a yosuke protection squad should form they should start going home in pairs #he's good with his queue

[skitskatdacat63]

"Non paeniteo potitus."

+ details & process

And, process !!

The jump btwn the second to last and last always surprise me whenever I make one of these because I always forget to take snapshots after I start painting. It's always like: oh yeah heres the lineart with some colors- BOOM fully finished✨️

What he's holding are the Austrian imperial scepter and orb, seen below:

I was going to draw the crown too but decided I don't hate myself that much(maybe some other day), and gave him a golden laurel crown, bcs I'm obsessed with that as a motif, and also its very remincient of the boy king statue that started this whole thing!

There's some symbolism of this, both intentionally but also just historically. I love that the orb represents that the monarch is holding the world in their hand, basically every old monarchy has one of those, and I think it's very cool for symbolism. But also bcs of that, I was forced to basically draw catholic fanart so, you win some you lose some. The star halo above him head is both to reference those religious statues with star crowns(I saw them a lot in Europe and they imprinted onto my brain), as well as: his four championships of course!

#TL: 'I don't apologize for winning' 🤭🤭🤭 #^ was gonna find some old latin quote to put but was like. oh yeah of course !!! #noy sure if its entirely correct. kinda wanted to email my hs latin teacher to ask but i finished this too late at night #anyways please dont let this flop SKDKLGLVLV #im really proud of it okah 😭😭😭 it was actually so much fun and enjoyable and nice etc dtc #i questioned to myself earlier abt why my chibi art always gets more notes than my detailed art #and i realized. like unless youve been following the lore of my blog. this isnt even recognizable as f1 fanart SJFKLVLV #but thats okay because its my niche brainrot au and i will do what i want >:) #the hair and the relics are def my proudest part of this #i mentioned before but i have trouble yknow translating irl stuff or complicated stuff into drawing #but all of this came really smoothly to me in a very unexpected way #god his hair is just sooooo its ssoooooooo!!!!!!!!! i wanna pet him 🥹 #but i think it def helped that i kept posting the process on my close friends #and my two irl friends(as well as some friends on here! ty!!) encouraged me a lot abt it so :D #but anyways yep pls take my brainrot art 🙏🙏 it took me 13+ hours in the span of like 3 days basically #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #catie.art. #boy king au

[cheriboms]

doctober day 28: metallic

local old man doesnt "get" the youths, pt 1/??

#back to the future #bttf #doctober #doctober 2023 #marty mcfly #doc brown #emmett brown #christopher lloyd #michael j fox #my arts #my sketchy wip arts #im not saying marty definitely had braces... but im saying marty definitely had braces #basing it all on that scene in bttf3 where bufords gang randomly talks about martys teeth. thats my proof !!! #plus apparently average amt of time to have them is like a year so like its POSSIBLE. (i had them for like 3+ years so go off i guess 😒) #anyway this isnt late B) but it almost is bc i was still debating TODAY what to even do >_>; #but here we are so yeah <3 #the generational difference of 'polite/goody two shoes' vs 'degenerate/badass' being seen as good and bad things respectively #docs thoughts: hooligan bad!! respectable citizen good :) -> martys thoughts: im not a nerd PLEASE GOD IM COOL I SWEAR #ps tell me marty WOULDNT ask the local disgraced scientist hes known for like 3 months to do literal surgery on him. theyre ride or die PLS #< for all the trans!marty truthers that also applies to u. i think we can all agree hes not above just straight up asking. king

[ink-blot-thoughts]

Me, looking at canon Skirk reveal: Ahhh hell yeah she's so cool!!

Me, looking at the leaked concept art and realising there was a version where she had a cape thing eerily similar to Childe's scarf: ...my disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fatui #childe #skirk #genshin skirk #tartaglia #genshin ajax #fatui harbingers #okay jokes aside she does look cool and i will simp for her #but like her ideal version in my head is a battle hardened warrior and so far...eh #though if she DOES have a cape similar to Childe's scarf everything will be forgiven #you guys dont get it i will go FERAL if baby Ajax copied his masters style #or even better: she gave him his scarf :') #pls she needs to be batshit insane but actually care for him thats all i ask hoyo :')

[turtletoria]

a mask of my own face

#turtlearts #dr two brains #scopophobia #body horror #sharp objects #let me know if theres anything else that needs tagged! #anyways. thats supposed to be a mirror btw #also i tried so hard to fit a lot of symbolism and random shit into it. i am so willing to pick this drawing apart so if youd like that send #an ask or smth!!!! #for real i sank so many hours into this... it was supposed to be a simple colored sketch lmao #i just kept adding onto it for weeks and weeks. and all for what #looked up so many references and had to learn how to do things and tried out new brushes for this omg #like i need to emphasize that this was so hard to do and for what!!!! a silly little halloween spooky month drawing??!?!?!?!?! #even now when i look at it i hate it so much i want to keep adding things to it #i have to post it NOW or else i will be working on it for the rest of my life #pls give me nice words so i dont regret all the time i sank into this drawing </3 #if u think im fishing for complements and looking all the more pathetic and desperate for it. ur right </3 im sorry

[conjectureand-gloom]

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ welcome! ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

important information ⬎

alex

they/he/xe/it

non binary 💛🤍💜🖤

lesbian ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

youreverydaydemikid -> conjectureand-gloom (15/01/24)

minor (february 8th)

multifandom

fanfiction writer

GMT +10:30

INFP-T

2w1

lyn lapid fan blog @tlit21c

i stand with palestine 🇵🇸

my new main account is @holesofmy-sweater

links ⬎

my ao3

my spotify

my pinterest

my instagram (that i’m barely active on)

hamilton fanfic recommendations

2023 reflection post

fandom list, fanfiction request masterlist, written works, wips, asks, tags and mutuals under the cut

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fandom list ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

hamilton (feel free to request for any hamilton ship, i love them all so much, alexander is the absolute DREAM for a multishipper. alexander is my main target for angst! this is my main fandom)

jesus christ superstar (jesus/judas or jesus/judas/mary mainly for jcs, but feel free to ask for any other ships and i’ll consider it!! and no, i am not religious. i have been raised christian, but just ended up with religious trauma)

a good girls guide to murder (pipravi fluff and angst :) but i’ll so gladly write fics about sal and andie, or becca. ravi is my comfort character, and i just torture pip relentlessly)

nevermoor (personally i’m more of a cadence/morrigan girly, but fics for nevermoor will mainly be gen! i love found family, so jupiter & mog fluff or angst is my favourite)

in the heights (canon ships mainly, but feel free to ask for other ships! i’m not in the ITH fandom much, so these are going to be much more inaccurate)

newsies (again, more gen fics, but i do ship dave/jack. also i love angsty crutchie fics. this is one of my smaller fandoms, so these will be super inaccurate)

keeper of the lost cities (preferably marella/linh or tam/keefe! but again, feel free to ask for any ship!!)

hunger games (gen, preferably. but i’m team peeta in case anyone was wondering. fuck gale.)

maze runner (okay i haven’t read or seen TMR in ages but newt/thomas)

divergent (canon ships only. and no, christina/tobias is not canon.)

six (gen all the way. found family. also i love katherine howard angst over any other queen)

the song of achilles (achilles/patroclus? literally what other ship is there????? this is my favourite book)

wednesday (wednesday/enid. i feel like this requires no explanation. also. angst fics. i almost exclusively write angsty wednesday fics, rather than enid. i love the whole of the addams family, and i love familial hurt/comfort)

marauders (i’m not in the marauders fandom much at all, like i really only know the actual hp canon marauders. so.)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ fanfic request rules ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

i’ll write for any fandom listed above, i love them all! however i am much more active in hamilton, agggtm, jcs, nevermoor and kotlc, so those fics will be much better than the other fandoms’ would be

i’ll write any genre other than smut, and angst/whump is my absolute favourite. any AUs you could think of, literally anything, i’m not picky!

i won’t write romanticised abuse, non/con, or anything like that. that’s not to say that my fics can’t have dark aspects, but i won’t romanticise any of that.

on that, i’m not going to write any non/con, romanticised or not

also, i won’t write omegaverse, nor will i write y/n or self insert fics. nothing wrong with those genres, i just don’t write them!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ written works ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

It’s Only A Matter Of Time - A Hamilton Watches Hamilton Fic

i wish i could say that was the last time

call me son one more time

when they surround our troops

then a hurricane came

take a break

and his right hand man…

she was holding me

the great war

we got traffic on the west side

steal into my affections

the fact that you’re alive is a miracle

fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

my father wasn’t around

philip, you would like it uptown

i may not live to see our glory…

an outrageous demand

stay alive

my dear, angelica

to convince you that i love you

but this situation’s helpless

like mother, like daughter (agggtm)

“but now this room is spinning…”

“i’ll call out your name but you won’t call back”

“like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon”

me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you (gifted to @holes-in-my-false-confidence)

baby it’s cold outside

the entire exposé (inspired entirely off of @jittyjames’ fanfiction series ‘the price of his war’)

my world is burning (yet another fic based off of jami’s series ‘the price of his war’)

i’m sorry if any of these links are incorrect, i spent over an hour on just this section

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ wips ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

achilles, come down (last two works in series still need to be written)

je m’appelle… lafayette? (one chapter to go)

lams (taylor’s version) (a few chapters to go, unsure if it will be finished)

you’re the one who disappears (agggtm, unsure if it will be finished, or when)

judas’ death (jcs angst fanfiction)

untitled (hamil-gang liminal spaces au longfic thing idk)

febuwhump drabbles (possibly)

be my valentine challenge

so big/so small (so big/so small from deh but hamilton and his ma)

bloom like rose thorns (a longfic that may or may not ever be finished)

rewrite of ‘i wish i could say that was the last time’ and ‘call me son one more time’

baby don’t cut (lams angst based off of a song with the same name)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ collaborations ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

fem!hamilton au with @jittyjames and @firebalda

if anybody is interested in collabing at all, please hit me up!! i love writing with other people!!!!

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ asks ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

please send me any asks at all!!! and also please put fic requests in my ask box, i did say that i would have your request out in 6 months, but i have had one sitting in there for over a year (sorry jami.) but um. i promise im trying to get better at that

also, feel free to ask for fic recommendations!!!! i’ve linked a post earlier in this post with a huge list, but it’s not fully updated with some more recent fics :)

‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ tags ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

asks- all the asks ive answered, these are also tagged with the url of the blog, or with anon dearest if it was an anon ask

akeyla ml- posts about/with my incredible incredible partner @holes-in-my-false-confidence who i love so much ❤❤❤❤❤❤

tag games- self explanatory, tag games :)

sleep is overrated- me trying to fix my sleep schedule in 2024

personal- personal vent posts. please block this tag, i have had someone unfollow me before because of these posts :)

₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧ mooties ‎‧₊˚✩ 🪐✩˚₊‧

@jittyjames

@like-the-stars-i-shine (irl friend for 5 years now)

@holes-in-my-false-confidence (my partner, irl <33333)

@felizusnavidad

@weeping-in-the-willows

@swiftieannah

@the1laff

@anixknowsnothin

@purpleblobfrompluto

@starduckys

@now-thats-his-bride

@kwilooo

@evilteapot (irl friend)

@my-dear-gal

@idontwanttobeabuzzkill

@mynightsoutofsight

@cc-horan28

i have more mutuals, but this is everybody who i interact with more often and i actually consider to be my friend. if anybody wants to ever message me or actually become friends with me, please do!!!! i love talking to you guys, please message me, i promise im not scary <333

#intro post #hamilton #hamilton musical #fanfics #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfiction writer #writers #akeyla ml #yes i have told yall my birthday bc yall cant do absolutely anything with knowing my birthdate #just dont ask me for the year pls #im a teenager thats all yall need to know

[fbj723]

based off of nocti’s affection story ch2 >:3c

uncropped ver + some close ups

#still sadge that nocti doesnt call you partner in his affection story :(((( #but its ok he still acts like hes your partner throughout the whole thing #and thats all that matters tbh hehehehehshhdjsj #theyre totally a married couple just running a bar/diner together #and when nocti asks at the end of the whole story if they can go back to doing this when the wars over…….. #pls my heart cant HANDLE THIS HES SO HSHDHJSJD #pgr #my art #pgr noctis #pgr commandant #pgr oc #fbj ocs #punishing gray raven #战双帕弥什 #パニグレ #oh yeah just to hide this lil bit of info at the end apparently the kitchen theyre in is rlly RLLY small #so when coco is up close i mean they are VERY VERY CLOSE TO NOCTI #BC THE KITCHEN IS INSANELY SMALL #and nocti is very big i blame him for taking up most of the space hehfhhshfjs

[bl-inkstone]

changed my tune so fast just bc of youtube autoplay lmao ok here have some sagau diluc thoughts

the player, diluc thinks, is an incredibly endearing being.

he's come a long way from the curt and wary attitude he used to put on around the traveler (and by extension, you), and today is one of those days where he finds himself privately thanking whatever powers there may be that allowed your paths to cross, with him staring at the reflection of you hidden deep within the traveler's eyes in the wake of his fight with the abyss that fateful night in mondstadt.

as one of the first people to have their constellations manifest in the sky of teyvat, diluc is more than aware that the fact that you still choose to ask for his company in your (or, well, the traveler's) journey is a gift he must treasure deeply. he knows that it is your presence in this world that gives vision bearers a chance to become something greater than they presently are. he also knows that he is no longer as impressive of a companion in battle as he used to be from back when the sky wasn't as bright as it is now (when the world you knew was smaller and he was still a figure that you could look to and proudly call "your main").

but you always come back to him. when he least expects it, you invite him back to your party and diluc can't help but privately think, privately wish, that it's because you're as fond of him as he is of you.

standing in silent prayer while you bestow upon him artifacts that thrum with divine power is an experience he can never tire of. the claymores you give him, the food he eats, all the materials he needs to reach a breakthrough in his capabilities... he understands that you aren't teyvat's creator, but this world and everything in it seems to exist just for you. you, the provider, the sustainer, the beloved of all. sometimes, diluc feels that everything he has and ever worked for have all been for the sake of one day meeting you.

he's not a religious man by principle, and he loathes people of absolute power. the only exception to this, however, is you. he's not foolish enough to believe you're some omnipotent, omniscient being that lords above all. no, you're not like that. he knows this because the longer he journeys with the traveler and feels their bond strengthen, the faint whispers he used to strain himself to hear grow clearer and clearer until finally, one day, he hears you.

you're both nothing and everything he thought you'd be. you view the world of teyvat with so much awe and joy that it's infectious, and he finds himself smiling more often than not to the privilege of finally hearing you. the traveler always looks at him with an understanding smile when diluc slows down in their travels to listen to you. he lives for the moments when you talk to yourself or to someone else (a companion of your own, maybe? from your place beyond the stars?) because this is how he learns. your favorite food, your favorite nations, your favorite "characters" and more. he holds every morsel of information you unknowingly give close to his chest where all his affections and wishes hide. he likes to think that this way, he can be closer and better for you.

but he knows he's not the only one who hears you, and it is the traveler that is closest to you out of all them. even so, diluc harbors no ill will to the avatar you chose to see and travel the world through. you're so fond of the traveler, and how could he ever come to loathe anything graced by your love?

he knows how to play nice. it helps that most of your other chosen are people he can find himself enjoying the company of as well. diluc understands that as much as he wants to be the sole holder of your attention, the world does not function that way. he's willing to extend an olive branch so long as they can all work together to keep you present in teyvat. he can worry about his more aggressive competition later when they aren't at risk of being caught in such an unsightly state by you — all that matters to him, right now, is how to keep your gaze on him for just a little longer and keep you from leaving him again.

it's a daunting thing to be so close to your grace. you take diluc to lands he'd never thought he'd visit again, to ruins of civilizations long past, domains with unimaginable horrors and have him run, claymore and vision burning at his hip, into fight after fight at your command. it's tiring at best and painful at worst, but you always take care to heal him and his companions before leaving, and you always lead them somewhere safe to rest until teyvat brightens and you come again.

his current companions (his "supports", he inwardly preens) rest and talk amongst themselves once they feel your presence leave. it used to be something they, your chosen, would panic over, but now that they've gotten more used to you and all the signs that pointed that yes, this is your will, they've grown to be able to tolerate the harrowing chill that comes when your warmth leaves them. diluc leans back on his chair in front of good hunter to observe them. they're all people he's come to grow fond of in time: diona was prickly, yes, but ha become pleasant to be around once they grew past their misunderstandings. the young master of the feiyun commerce guild, xingqiu, was also a reliable companion both in and outside of battle, and for all his faults, venti has proven himself to be a devout believer, unwilling to be a burden to you or the party you've guided him towards.

under normal circumstances, he never would've met and forged such strong bonds with these people. if not for your own interference, he never would've bothered getting to know any of them at all. though he may have his own gripes and complaints at times of how their dynamic works when you're not around, diluc is still fond of them. he's grateful for the opportunity to grow close to people again, and traveling the world alongside them and the traveler has become one of the few things he's begun to look forward to outside of his duties as "diluc, master of dawn winery." when the day is done and he can sit and relax with them in the tables in front of good hunter, he can rest in the company of others who understand the near-maddening pull in his chest that draws him to try and get closer, closer, to you.

it's days like these where diluc quietly thanks whatever it is brought you to them, and prays that one day, he will no longer have to search through the traveler's eyes to see you.

#miyo.muses #diluc.togo #i wrote this all in one sitting please i love him so much #i hope my research did you justice sir #if he sounds awkward or anything id appreciate feedback on how to improve! #diluc is one of my faves honestly and i wanna write more for him #and as you can see #he is a very generous muse #this is worse than when i wrote for zhongli oml #i wanted to keep this short n sweet #just a silly little hcs or brainrot post #but no #this happened #but im not that mad lmao diluc gets a free pass <3 #also pls dont flame the team ok i asked a friend what their diluc team looks like and they said “diona + xing + venti” #dsdhewu i have a very skewed view on what's considered a long or short post but just to play it safe #i added the read more this time bc id hate to be the person who clogs up the tags with super long posts #ok thats it rambling over i hope u guys enjoy <3 #genshin impact #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin diluc #diluc x reader

[lycanthropicture]

hey just fyi i updated, organized, and removed broken links from the resource guide i made a while ago! it's originally from the resource dump channel of the spn amv editors discord, but it's got helpful stuff for any spn creators (editors, gifmakers, meta-writers, fic writers, etc) and any video editors from any fandom! Here's the link, and here's a lil info on what kind of stuff you'll find on each page:

General Resources - links useful for amv editors from any fandom. things like tutorials, overlay packs, and software downloads.

SPN Scenepacks - big list of links to downloadable scenepacks sorted by character, ship, and season

SPN Episodes, Clips, & Deleted Scenes - what it says on the sign.

Other SPN Resources - various links to spn-specific resources like timelines, transcript search, the amv archive, etc!

anyway, i am asking that you please do not post the link to this drive elsewhere, and especially not on other websites (cough the bird one cough)!! pls keep it on tumblr <3

#if this gets over like. 300 notes i will probably break the link so copy the sheet while u can #also if you see this post and the link is broken feel free to shoot me an ask and i will send u a new link privately #i think thats all #hope it's helpful! #ohh also the ''server source'' column just indicates which user sent the link into the discord! #dont ask to join the discord it's really not active anymore LOL #however besties who are listed as sources pls feel free to lmk if you want to be removed/have ur name or url changed fdjiaghldas #i think i updated all names and urls but im not sure #slay. #👍 #resource guide

[craycraybluejay]

ik people like to act like sex and imbalanced sexual dynamics are uniquely traumatizing (moreso than any other kind of power imbalance, abuse of power, or just flat out abuse period) but from personal experience not really. there's nothing inherent to sex and sexuality that makes it traumatizing. there's nothing inherent to sexual trauma that makes it more traumatic than any other trauma.

and chiefly trauma is never really about the intentions of any party who made or let it happen. someone who wants, intends, and tries to hurt you might bounce off you just like that; because they simply failed to psychologically damage you, because what they did didn't bother you a lot whether it be mental physical or sexual. conversely someone who does not want, intend, or try to hurt you may scar you for life with something either they don't understand is harmful or isn't even inherently harmful and is uniquely that way to you.

i just. i'm annoyed at the narrative of trauma being taken away from the survivor themself. if i say this was traumatizing and you think it's not a big deal, too fucking bad, listen to me. if i say that wasn't traumatizing at all and you think it's the worst thing in the world upon hearing what it is, too fucking bad, you don't get to tell me what my trauma is. i'm sick of seeing people put words in each others mouths and tell someone's story for them without that person's consent. idk like? it makes me so angry that whenever i used to talk about things people would blatantly disregard the most horrific times of my life and instead focus on stuff i was neutral or even positive toward as a big terrible thing that ruined me.

nowadays i'm very grateful to have people who are chill and don't jump to conclusions no one asked them to. people who listen when i tell them "i know this sounds bad but it wasn't actually" or "i know this sounds stupid but this was world shattering." people who i get to laugh with. the RIGHT people who extend me the same kindness of knowing their strange "good bad things" and "bad fine things."

life just isn't as simple as "this is always terrible for people" and "this is always fine for people." PEOPLE aren't a monolith. yes, even that thing that you think must be the worst thing possible. yes, even that thing that you think no one could possibly be hurt by. it's hard to involve myself in serious discussions about abuse because there is a very clear Narrative people want to follow and if you as a "victim" don't follow it then either it didn't happen or you're wrong about your own experience.

hopefully I can consult my therapist about this phenomenon in discussions of abuse and trauma. and also about the specific thing that made me think of this. it irritates me quite a lot when others pity me for something that i knowingly chose-- and in retrospect never hurt me either. like what are you fishing for. why are you looking at me like that. i'm fine, maybe you're the one that needs counseling if my talking about this creates such a visceral reaction in you.

#listen to trauma survivors #listen to victims #listen to people who say they AREN'T that when you say they are too #the only person who knows their life best is that person especially in retrospect #ask to tag #trauma #the narratives surrounding trauma are regressive and ignore anyone who does not fit them #mental health culture critical #mental health #i consume [one] weed and then have sex and its immediately rape. pls touch grass jfc #idk everything surrounding sex is this mystical thing rife with potential evil #and i'm tired of it #the anti sex culture #the whole: there's nothing more traumatizing than someone 2 years older asking you out #pls stop #sex is not inherently more evil or potentially evil than literally any other thing that can be used to abuse #and abuse isn't as simple as 2 neat boxes labeled abusive thing and not abusive thing #for example you cant claim a karen yelling at you in a store is abusive. rude and mean yes but shes not abusing you #but if the same person is yelling at you all the time and has power over you so you cannot stop them thats a diff story potentially #idk people have this #black and white thinking #that never fails to irritate me #and we are never going to get anywhere in understanding these difficult topics if we cannot disconnect the narrative from our ego to always #always be right. to always know what is one thing and what is the other

[heelanat]

ricky, remind me why im mentally unstable

thanks

#she was sittin down with her big butt but i was still starin at them tiddies thooooo #GOD DAYUM #i want to sufforcate in them #pls #just give me one chance #thats all i ask #zb1 smut #zhang hao smut #zhang hao #zb1

[strwbrymlkshake]

everyone who thinks he belongs with someone other than me is digging their own grave ^_^ get in bitch

#mine #yandere #yancore #irl yandere #yanderecore #yandere vent #yanposting #OK SO APPARENTLY IM NOT ACTUALLY FINE SEEING FANART OF THEM TOGETHER AND I WANNA THROW UP REALLY BAD #NOT FINE. ITS OK ITS OK ITS OK THEY WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER HE BELONGS TO ME ONLY ITS FINE #WGWUGHHAGH #PLEEEASE I NEED TO KILL THEM SO FUCKING BAD. YOURE ADULTS YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER #5 MINS ALONE WITH THEM IN A ROOM PLEASE PLEASE THATS ALL IM ASKING. I DESERVE IT. PLS #GRABS UR HAND WE SHOULD GIVE THEM THE DEATH PENALTY. OK?

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

I think Nanyin royalty AU will be a wild power struggle. Full of cutthroat unhinged conspiracy and backstabbing left and right.

1. There is the mild mannered and quite sickly crown prince Li Xiangxian. But no, this is not about him, let that man enjoy his peace.

2. This is about the martial arts genius second prince, Li Xiangyi. That typical imperial brother who lead jurisdiction part of the palace, and basically the strongest fortress in front of the well-loved crown prince.

3. Rumor has said Li Xiangyi learn from the elusive master Qi Mushan since the very young age and inherited the famous yangzhouman.

4. The crown prince, true to his soft hearted nature, once saved a young kid and bring him back to be his little brother study partner. That kid will grown up as Shan Gudao

5. On the side, as a cousin part of the throne is the Jiao family who acted as a door keeper to Nanyin more mystical artefact. The daughter of that family is one who born with ambition to rule and eyes for the crown. She play so many tangled thread behind the palace wall.

6. Shan Gudao is someone that has been planted by that family to keep an eye about the inner court. Greed will blown his ego out of proportion and later he will joined Jiao Liqiao in her coup.

7. Qiao Wanmian is an administrative agent that work under Li Xiangyi. A capable woman that everyone think will marry in as a princess consort. But she know better than to step into court politic.

8. The palace actually in correspondence with Tianji Hall about their mechanism and exchanging knowledge about trap room blue print. The second prince find their young master a cute kid and take a liking to him but unable to get too close because He Xiaohui kept him in a polite (wary) distance.

9. The Jiao family regularly purchasing teenager from Di Fortress under the palace order to make a soldiers. Unbeknown to the inner court, only half the kid ended up in the military camp while the other half being used as a lab rat for the new technique they developed.

10. Di Feisheng is one of those that climb high enough to be stationed practically as a bodyguard for Li Xiangyi. But its not like Li Xiangyi need a bodyguard at first so he make Di Feisheng as his sparring partner more often than not.

11. Somewhere along that, the comfortable nickname of A-Fei begin to stick.

12. Sometimes when investigating near the border, where people doesn't really care of fear the court, Li Xiangyi will use the name Lianhua, a mere travelling merchant with his servant A-Fei (who always scare the shit out everyone with his glare).

13. Li Xiangyi with all his brilliance, once trust people so easily with naive innocence to see good. Thus unable to sniff the first step of rebellion brewing near the inner court.

14. The height of the conflict started when Yun Biqiu, one of Li Xiangyi men, fall for the sweet tongue of the Princess. From there on, poison and slander flying around here and there in a broad daylight. Creating chaos from the inside. A first step into the descend of the dynasty.

15. Fang Duobing left his wheelchair behind and grow stronger. He start to exchange a monthly secret letter with the second prince.

16. The flag of rebellion reach their highest when the fight occur in the inner palace. Many live lost that day and the second prince gone missing after poisoned by his own subordinate.

17. Di Feisheng got tangled up in the neatly orchestrated spot to make him look like he is on Jiao Liqiao side. A small mercy, said the princess, because I want him.

18. Li Xiangyi unfortunately believe that.

19. It is with a burning rage and thirst for revenge a letter came into Di Feisheng hand. And he know enough of his prince penmanship to rush as fast as a lightning to the east sea. He came to retrive and protect the prince. Not knowing the man will ask for his head. Nor expect the prince will not see where his loyalty has been placed long ago.

20. Only weeks later, Tianji Hall will receive the news and proceed to cut ties with the new court. Fang Duobing never receive that month reply from Li Xiangyi.

--

00. This maybe end in the east sea to close the chapter of power struggle and start a new book of quack doctor Li Lianhua from Jianghu. Who knows. Certainly not the people in Nanyin. Not Jiao Liqiao either.

#Maybe its years in the future when Li Lianhua will knock on the gate of Tianji Hall and asked (kidnapped) xiaobao to join his adventure #I will go into dfs whump where he will exhaust his inner energy to repel the effect of the poison from lxy body #then got captured by jiao liqiao #maybe she broke him or he isolated his mind willingly to escape the disgust #and thats why when llh stumble upon him once again he will not havr his memory #fang xiaobao will be so done with all the awkward silent and blank stare and takes matter into his own hand #I vote for him to shove those two into bed and told them to just talk or fuck #someone pls write this #mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #li lianhua #fang duobing #Nanyin AU