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sofwrites · 2 years
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Bridgerton cast at a BAFTA’s after party, March 13th, 2022
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sofwrites · 3 years
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He laughed, she shrieked; She yearned, he loved
Polin Week Day 2: Polin Songs
Type: Songfic that goes through Colin and Penelope's POVs from their first meeting to the end of RMB
Length: 4.7k
Read on ao3 or continue under the cut
“But something happened, I heard him laughing
I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent” - London Boy, Taylor Swift
Penelope Featherington’s life split into a new half on the sixth day of the fourth month of the year 1812.
It began like any other day when rare sunshine followed a week of springtime rain- the Featherington had been enjoying a walk in the park, and the matriarch had become too preoccupied to notice the exact whereabouts of her third daughter.
Which was why when Penelope felt the rumbling underneath her feet and heard the nearby stampeding, she had no trouble walking off to inspect for its source.
Was it possible that there were bandits in Hyde Park, she wondered. That scouring marauders had come to their little corner of the world?
Though equally horrifying, the idea filled young Penelope with giddy excitement as she ducked behind a large tree.
But when she peeked around the trunk, there were no bandits, no marauders, no ravagers, scoundrels, or miscreants.
No, there was none of that. Instead, there were two young men galloping on horses.
Until there was only one.
It seemed that the breeze had picked up and along with it, the girl’s bonnet (she’d secretly unsecured it while her mother wasn’t watching- a habit she would very soon retire). And before she realized what had happened, one of the gentlemen had fallen directly into a patch of mud.
And as Penelope watched, her heart leaped, then dropped, and then froze in her chest- because it was her fault that he had fallen in. And with wide, terrified eyes, she rushed forward to help.
“OhmyHeavens! Are you alright? Do you need me to get someone for you?” She was speaking far too quickly, she was sure of that, and her voice was definitely quite a few octaves too high for ordinary human communication. But she didn’t care about any of it in the current moment.
Though he was certainly awake, the man didn’t reply immediately, and Penelope felt her panic grow as her hands began to shake. There was no doubt that this stranger would grant her with anything less than contempt. And as he rose, she prepared herself, promising that she would not cry even if he roared the greatest criticism.
But she need not have worried herself - for Penelope had met a man who was exceptional to all the rest. One who would make sure that no other man could ever compare.
All her perfect gentleman did was laugh, and it was the loveliest sound that she had ever heard. And then he looked at her, and his eyes, the most vivid shade of green she had ever bore witness to, were filled with nothing but good humor.
And then he smiled at her. And nothing would ever be the same for Penelope Featherington, for she had fallen in love.
“Be young, be foolish, but be happy
Don’t let the rain get you down, it’s a waste of time” - Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy, The Tams
It all happened in a blur really. One minute, Colin was riding horseback alongside a friend, enjoying a cheerful sunny afternoon.
And the next, some flying object attacked him and caused him to tumble over and land squarely into a puddle of mud.
Then there was shrieking. Some high-pitched, panicky shrieking that quickly became more painful than the tender spot on his bum.
Pulling away his assailant (which appeared to be a bonnet), Colin was met with a girl whose expression matched the hysteria of her voice. She looked young- a bit less than him- likely around Eloise or Francesca’s age. And she looked…
Well, frankly, she looked bloody terrified.
Terrified. Terrified that he was going to scream or curse or do something even more unpleasant to her.
But even if it was her bonnet that was to blame, it hardly mattered. She couldn’t have possibly planned for her headwear to get whisked off of her head and directly onto his face. And judging by the giant brown eyes and quivering lip turned towards him, she surely felt guilty about it now.
And besides that, the whole situation was rather funny. Even if he was covered in mud, Colin Bridgerton always appreciated an amusing turn of events. There was no use fretting over such little things, not when one could find the humor in it.
So, he did the one thing he knew how to do: he laughed, just in the way his father used to do. His father, who told him that laughter could solve most anything. Colin had found that although it might not have solved everything, it was quite a useful little trick.
But he was proven correct that day when the girl’s horrified expression melted into one of pure relief.
Until she began hurriedly apologizing to him, and her widened eyes went from concerning to amusing. So amusing, in fact, that he smiled at her.
And Colin Bridgerton had no idea what he’d just done.
“I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night
He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar” - Teardrops On My Guitar, Taylor Swift
If what Penelope felt when she first met Colin was love, then the year following had to embody some form of deep, deep admiration. He was more than just a fine sport and a good first impression- he was simply the nicest man she had ever met. And he grew lovelier with each passing meeting.
He looked at her and smiled, he spoke to her and listened - he was simply kind to her in a way that few people ever were. And her heart fluttered every time she gazed into those dazzling green eyes.
It made her first season, just a little over a year after their ill-fated meeting, rather unbearable. Not only had Penelope’s mother pushed her into coming out in society earlier than she would have liked, but everything seemed to be wrong. In an unfortunate circumstance, she hadn’t yet entered the realm of womanhood, and the reaction of the ton directly reflected such.
But although no bachelors had eyes for Penelope (not to her great surprise), she only truly cared about one.
And that was the reason that over the course of the season, Penelope’s heart broke more times than she would have ever cared to admit.
She knew whenever he was in the room, could feel his presence in the air. She could hear his voice even when it didn’t carry, simply because she had spent so much time engraining it into her memory.
And she often watched him as he accompanied other, more eligible ladies to the dance floor- watched how he laughed and smiled at them just as he did to her. The same way he did to her.
And even though he usually made sure to save her a dance as well, and they were often the greatest highlight of the evening for Penelope, the sting lasted well into the night. She pictured him with the other girls, the ones who were prettier and more popular and less shy than she was. Than she ever could be.
And sometimes, when she was alone and the day had been more difficult than usual, Penelope cried more tears than she could have ever counted.
“I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway” - It’s My Life, Bon Jovi
Colin didn’t enjoy balls.
The conversations were dull, the entertainment was lacking, and every dance he offered was met with some maddening assumption that he had plans to marry.
He was still so young for God’s sake, still had so much life to live before surrendering to the shackles of the marriage mart. He knew that it was just a matter of time before he was the oldest unattached Bridgerton, but he had no plans of hurrying. He simply wasn’t ready yet, and he didn’t see any problem with that.
His family, however, certainly did.
“Please, do remember to dance with Miss Merriweather.”
“Yes, mother.”
“And Miss Kensington.”
“Of course.”
“And Miss Jones.”
“ Right .”
“And best not to forget Miss Featherington as well.”
He looked at his mother, his signature half-smile plastered to his face. “Would that even be possible? I’m quite sure that you’ve stuffed the list into my pocket.”
Violet gave him an indulgent look, one that was more familiar than he would have liked. “It’s possible that I left it in your morning coat.” She smiled before her face grew a bit more serious and her voice softened. “Please, Colin, don’t forget. Especially not Miss Featherington.”
And Colin nodded, immediately making his way to the girl standing by the refreshments table because that was what he did.
He appeased his mother, wore a happy face, and left as soon as he was able.
“Mr. Never had to see me cry
Mr. Insincere apology so he doesn’t look like the bad guy” - Mr. Perfectly Fine, Taylor Swift
The worst moment of Penelope’s life happened in the middle of the sixth month of the year 1817.
He hadn’t meant to her to hear him, she knew that. And she knew that she didn’t deserve to feel angry with him, didn’t deserve to feel like he had purposefully trampled over her heart with no regard for her or her feelings.
But Penelope was just a human, and humans didn’t always react to situations with rationality.
So when Colin apologized for the second time (since the first was really more for shock than regret), Penelope wasn’t quite as forgiving inside as she was on the surface.
She didn’t blame him, per se, but the cut was just still too fresh to let go of the hurt. And when Colin approached her at the next ball, she wasn’t quite as... friendly as usual.
It was when she was staring at his hand, outstretched and waiting like everything was absolutely normal. Like there was nothing, simply nothing wrong between them. And then he gave her that same smile he always did, the one that she normally loved, but felt much more smug than charming that evening.
“Of course, Mr. Bridgerton ,” she answered, making a failed attempt to sound pleasant.
He was doing it to appease his mother, she was more than aware of the fact. Or just to absolve himself of his guilt. Perhaps that was why it hurt so much.
Or perhaps it was the simple fact that she’d loved and dreamed about him for years, meanwhile, he’d been announcing to the world that he was certainly not going to marry her.
And though it might not have been fair, Penelope’s heart wouldn’t allow herself to move forward quite yet.
“And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.” - Somebody that I used to know, Gotye
It had been a mistake. A stupid mistake that Colin hadn’t even known he was making until it had already been too late.
His brothers had been at him, knowing exactly what to say to push him to the edge. He didn’t want to discuss marriage or settling down, he just wanted to go away. Find something that was his and only his.
How could he have known that she’d been standing right there? How could he have known that the cruelest thing he’d ever said would blow up so magnificently in his face?
It wasn’t fair, not to him and certainly- definitely not to her.
Colin wasn’t in the business of hurting other people, especially not ones who were as kind and decent as Penelope Featherington.
He knew that laughter wouldn’t work this time. So, instead, he apologized. A true, sincere apology that Penelope accepted.
Or so she pretended to accept. Because although she claimed that she was fine and that there was nothing wrong, there was definitely something off. And it was bloody irritating.
Colin didn’t need Penelope’s friendship, if that’s what one would call their dynamic, but he didn’t want the girl to hate him or possibly worse- like a stranger.
He was Colin, and he just wanted to be as well-liked as he usually was. So, he did what he could to force pleasantries, to make sure that they got back to where they’d always been.
Until it ended up working a bit too well.
“You’re so gorgeous,
I can’t say anything to your face
‘Cause look at your face” - Gorgeous, Taylor Swift
It had taken Penelope Featherington just about a year to fully forgive Colin Bridgerton. He was the same Colin he always was- funny and charismatic, easily the kindest man she had ever known. And it was easy to fall back into old habits- easy to fall back under his spell.
How could she not? When he smiled at her with that same smile, when he looked at her with those same hypnotic eyes and gorgeous face? Her heart had no chance against him.
Falling in love with Colin was easy- too easy- almost like breathing.
It was the being in love with Colin that tore her apart.
“Ooh, and I wished that you would hurt me harder than I hurt you
Ooh, and I wish you wouldn't wait for me, but you always do” - Let Me Go, Alesso & Hailee Steinfield
It had taken Colin Bridgerton years to admit that Penelope Featherington viewed him as more than just a friendly acquaintance. As more than a friend. As more than anything he felt comfortable with.
And then he thought that it would go away. That it was a young girl’s infatuation that would dissolve with time. He especially never saw it coming after how much he’d hurt her.
But after he’d noticed, he’d really noticed.
Penelope’s eyes had hearts in them. Huge hearts that lit up her entire face and made him feel like the biggest ass on the planet.
He kept leaving, sometimes for entire years. And every time he returned and saw her, he thought that it might be over. That she might have found someone new to set her sights on. That a different man would swoop in and take her affections.
No one ever did, however. And Colin began to worry that he was at fault for it. That Penelope had spent so long waiting for him that she simply refused to allow herself to be carried away by anyone else.
But he pushed that worry away.
Perhaps he’d imagined it- the way she looked at him. He’d known her since before she was even of age and he’d never seen anything different in her. Perhaps that was just how Penelope was to everyone.
(It wasn’t, and deep inside he knew that.)
“I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve
Takes one to know one
You’re a cowboy like me” - Cowboy Like Me, Taylor Swift
She had no idea. Penelope had no idea that she could have possibly ever had something in common with Colin.
Colin. Colin. The one who was popular, and gorgeous, and had a way of easing everyone around him. The one who was very much the complete opposite of her.
Except that he wasn’t. Because he was a writer, just like she was. And he had his secrets, and his insecurities, just like she did.
She almost told him. Truly and really considered it as she sat across him in the drawing room of Number Five. She saw how his eyes lit up when she spoke of his writing- saw the secret passion in his work that he tried to hide. It was the same passion she felt, something of herself that she recognized in Colin of all people. It was absurd to see someone else understand what she felt. Absurd and shocking and thrilling.
So, she almost told him, almost let herself join them together in their secrets.
Almost.
Something stopped her. Whether it was the decade-long practice of hiding or a fear of rejection, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she and Colin were more in the same than she could have ever realized, and he had no idea.
“I might get to too much talking
I might have to tell you something
Damn, I like me better when I'm with you” - I Like Me Better, Lauv
He didn’t know when it had happened. Exactly what change in him (or her) had led to it. But there just came a point when Colin realized that Penelope was the one who he wanted in life- the one who he wanted by his side.
Maybe it was that very first night at his mother’s party- right when half of her pastry cream splattered onto the floor. Maybe it was when he caught her reading his journals and then she lectured him on the privilege in his life. Maybe it was when she had asked him to kiss her- and he realized that he never wanted to taste anyone else’s lips ever again.
Colin didn’t know when, or what, or how. But he knew that he never wanted to stop talking to her. That he never felt more like himself than when he was with Penelope. That he had never felt the need to mask himself from her, and that she accepted him as he was each time.
He liked Penelope. Cared for her in a way he’d never cared for anyone before. And he liked himself when he was with her, even the parts that were whinging and temperamental and insecure.
And he finally knew what he needed in his life. Who he needed.
He needed Penelope.
“My reputation’s never been worse, so
You must like me for me” - Delicate, Taylor Swift
Are you going to marry me or not?
The words were still running in her mind well into the night. The same question, over and over and over again.
The morning had been ludicrous.
Colin had followed her into the church.
Colin had found out that she was Lady Whistledown.
Colin had been furious with her.
Colin had kissed her in the carriage.
Penelope had kissed him back.
Colin had asked her to marry him (in a matter of words).
Penelope had said yes (in a matter of words).
Colin and Penelope had gotten engaged to be married.
And to be quite honest, she didn’t know what exactly had changed. She had no idea why or when he had become so adamant about being with her. He had followed her, and in that had found out her great big secret- the one that was both the very best and the very worst of her.
He hadn’t been happy about it, she knew that, but something had switched in him.
And even though he didn’t like her secret, he still liked her, still cherished her in the way that she’d always yearned for.
So, she said yes.
“Please, don't look at me with those eyes
Please, don't hint that you’re capable of lies” - First Date, Blink-182
It hurt. It hurt Colin so very much.
At some point, Penelope had become Colin’s world. And at the same time, she’d been given the power to break him in a way that no one else could.
If finding out that Penelope held secrets the first time was a betrayal, then finding out that she held secrets from him after they’d become betrothed was like a stab to the heart.
She hadn’t meant for it to happen at their engagement ball, of course not. But it still had. And she hadn’t warned him, hadn’t discussed it with him.
He wasn’t sure what he was the angriest about- her hidden truths, her carelessness, her stubbornness to be right, damn it all.
The way she didn’t trust him as much as he seemed to trust her.
He was furious. And hurt. And deceived.
And yet-
“I, I loved you in spite of
Deep fears that the world would divide us” - Dancing with Our Hands Tied, Taylor Swift
He loved her. He loved her for all of her faults and all of her virtues. He loved her even despite how much he couldn’t stand her at that present moment.
He was scared to death for what could happen to her- what would happen to her. He realized that Penelope- that love was more important than the rest of it all. Than the rest of the world.
And he didn’t hesitate to tell her- not even for a moment.
Penelope loved him in return. She’d loved him for years- or so she thought. She didn’t know what had truly been love and what had been infatuation- a dream about the man she’d built up in her head. But it was certainly real love now.
The man in front of her was not perfect, was not without his gripes and flaws. And that was somehow better than perfect.
Because he was real. Because he loved her just as much as she loved him.
Because it was them. Together. Standing side-by-side against the world.
“When I was down
I was your clown
“Right from the start
I gave you my heart” - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John & Kiki Dee
Thirty seconds it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to take Penelope Featherington’s heart.
Five years it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to break Penelope Featherington’s heart.
A handful of days it had taken for Colin Bridgerton to give Penelope Featherington his heart.
And twelve years it had taken for Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington to truly see the other for who they were.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus rap song section!! (Explicit)
“Go, go, go, go, go, go
Go Shorty, it’s your birthday” - In da Club , 50 Cent
Colin paced across the length of his drawing room, absentmindedly flicking his fingers as he did so.
She was meant to be down here.
He needed her down here.
Right at that very instant.
He simply couldn’t wait any longer.
Penelope needed to sweep down those steps wearing some gorgeous little number, race into the room, and-
“Colin, stop doing that. It’s incredibly irritating.”
He didn’t stop, but he did turn his head to send a scowl to his sister. “Pardon me, but I’m quite sure that you were meant to get her out of the house by four o’clock.” And with a pointed look to the clock, he added, “And it’s already a quarter past.”
Eloise crossed her arms as her eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t fathom how it has somehow become my fault that she’s late. Weren’t you meant to make sure that she’d be ready by now?”
At this, Colin didn’t meet her eye, instead sending a quick not-so-guilty glance to the sofa. He certainly had meant to make sure that she was dressed and proper in time for Eloise’s arrival, but he’d gotten… Side-tracked.
It wasn’t his fault that she’d decided to wear his favorite shade of pink that afternoon. He was just a man, and how could any man not charge her, grab her by the shoulders, and-
“Oh, ew!” Eloise exclaimed, jumping from her seat on the sofa. It seemed that she hadn’t missed Colin’s glance. “Honestly, one would think that you’re still newlyweds.”
Colin finally did stop his pacing to send his sister a half-smile that was far more cheeky and apologetic. With a small shrug, he leaned against the wall.
“Well, you know, sister, we-”
“We what?” Penelope interrupted as she strode into the room, sending him a teasingly accusing face. But before he could even consider answering, she went straight to Eloise and gave her a hug. “I’m so sorry I’m late, Maria insisted on this intricate hairstyle.” She motioned to the chignon sitting atop her head, which Colin thought was rather lovely on her.
“And you were tied up before then?” Eloise asked innocently, barely batting an eye when Penelope suddenly flushed.
There was a pause of silence, but Colin (who had been appreciating the sight of his wife from across the room), rushed towards them. “Alright, I think you’re late enough as is. Don’t want to make the Modiste angry, do we?”
Penelope frowned as she turned to him, her eyebrows furrowing in that magnificent way they always did. “I really think it will be-”
But he had already taken her by the arm and begun dragging her into the hallway, Eloise following closely in tow. “Darling, go, go, go, go, go, go. You mustn't be late.”
Her mouth hung open as he strode her towards the front door, helping her with the coat Dunwoody had handed him.
“Colin, what are you-”
“Go, Darling. It’s your birthday. Go have fun.”
And as if by magic, Penelope and Eloise were standing outside on the steps and Colin was shutting the door.
Penelope blinked several times, staring at the knocker on the door before she turned to her best friend. “What in the world was that about?”
Eloise snorted, tucking an arm through hers. “I do believe that when we get back later today, we might party like it’s your birthday.”
“I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit’cha” - Baby’s Got Back , Sir Mix-a-Lot
Penelope let out a sigh as her eyes trailed the ballroom of Bridgerton House, resting upon the back of her husband. And then her eyes trailed downwards, and she let out another sigh as her eyes traveled downwards, downwards, downwards…
“Penelope?”
He looked good.
Too good.
“Penelope? ”
So very, very goo-
A pair of fingers snapped a few inches from her face. “Penelope!”
She blinked, her head jerking to face Kate. “Oh, I’m sorry. What were we talking about?”
Kate and Sophie shared a glance before turning back to her, both looking equally suspicious. “We were discussing whether or not Lucy’s pregnant again,” Sophie answered after a moment, peeking at Penelope as she took a slow sip of champagne.
“Oh,” Penelope said, her eyes somehow again landing on her husband. “She is.”
“And what makes you so sure?” Kate asked. Or perhaps it was Sophie. Er- quite honestly, Penelope’s focus was far too drawn away to discern the difference.
“Oh, I just…” She swallowed, not taking any notice of the fact that her voice had trailed off.
One of her sisters-in-law giggled. “She can’t stop staring.”
“Hmm?” Penelope finally tore her gaze away to look at them, eyes widened in absolute innocence.
Kate bit back a smirk as she lifted her glass. “I do believe Colin’s old bedroom has been kept.”
Penelope didn’t even have the decency to blush as she nodded, sparing just a rather feeble wave as she navigated through the room, eyes glued to Colin’s form.
Although he was mid-way through a conversion with his brother-in-law, Geoffrey, Colin’s arm slithered around his wife’s waist the very moment her fingertips reached him. And when he glanced down, he recognized a very… Strange look in her eyes.
It seemed Geoffrey too had noticed, for he mumbled, “I think Felicity’s looking for me…” before disappearing into the crowd.
Colin grinned as he leaned down to give Penelope’s lips better access to his ear.
“I want to be with you,” she whispered, her hot breath leaving shivers down his back.
His eyebrow quirked upwards as he looked down at her. “Now?”
She grinned and nodded. “Now.”
“Wet-ass pussy
Make that pull-out game weak, woo (ah)” - WAP, Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion
There was screaming.
And growling.
And purring.
And scratching.
“Oh, my God!”
“Colin!”
“Penelope!”
She looked down at him, eyes wide and almost… frightened. “What happened?” There was water all over the floor, buckets knocked down, drops of blood…
And one very wet pussy cat hissing in her husband’s direction.
“Our dear ass-” ("Colin!” ) “Benjamin got it into his head to jump into my bath,” he muttered, grabbing a nearby robe. “And I think you can conclude how that ended.”
Penelope cringed, gingerly stepping over a puddle to soothe the cat. “And your valet?”
Colin glared at her as he tugged at the belt of his robe. “Had some difficulty pulling the cat out and had to go get some bandages.”
Benjamin purred as Penelope scratched behind his ear, doing her best not to laugh. “I hope you at least got to finish your washing.”
She could feel Colin’s glower in the quiet, the only sounds coming from their reasonably calmed (but still rather wet) pussy cat.
“Next time, I want a dog instead.”
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