#PORTAL SLUG IS RADICAL!!!
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#Avatar BioShock Crossover AU" 2023 please!!!
This one's a doozy.
I don't remember precisely what triggered this one, but there was a period of a couple weeks last year where I got really into the idea of an Avatar/BioShock crossover AU. This spawned several AUs, only one of which made it into my WIP folder, apparently, so the rest must be lurking on discord with my beta reader. This particular AU has a few scant character notes, some timelines, and a discussion of themes that paint what I would consider a compelling but overly-ambitious picture.
The themes in play: destiny, causality, consciousness, free will, and moral choice. We are pulling material from BioShock, BioShock 2, BioShock 2: Minerva's Den, BioShock Infinite, Avatar: the Last Airbender, and Legend of Korra. Rapture exists in its own right, whereas Columbia is replaced with Republic City. Tears, Spirit Portals, and Spirit Wilds are all the same thing, linking Rapture and Republic City across time and space. Bending and Splicing are the same, as well, with the "Avatar" being someone who has spliced up to an incredible degree and not died of every kind of cancer. The Avatar State is thus a kind of berserk mode that uses up all the EVE in the Avatar's body, leaving them powerless and vulnerable at the end. Past Avatars exist as coherent ADAM ghosts.
Aang, in this story, is a Jack/Eleanor Lamb character originally from Rapture who escaped into Republic City through a tear, and set about trying to find a way back to Rapture's past to undo all of the damage he ended up causing. He's a man haunted by guilt whose efforts are ultimately futile, because that's not how causality works.
Korra is our Elizabeth, whose ability to open and close tears makes her valuable to Aang in his quest for redemption, but also makes her a target for everyone on both sides of the veil who wants a slice of the Rapture/Republic City pie. But opening and closing tears destroys entire sections of probability space, creating fixed points in spacetime and releasing a ton of spiritual energy that gets eaten by the bioluminescent mass that sits beneath Rapture, spitting ADAM slugs back out into the world, accelerating the chaos and decline of both cities.
I have here that Aang somehow travels back to the past and becomes the founder of Rapture, which means he later creates and then kills himself while trying to do everything he can to avoid that outcome. It probably made more sense in my head the time. The other members of the Gaang are listed as Rapture's Best & Brightest: Zuko and Sokka are divorced and miserable, with Zuko trying to be a single dad and Sokka inventing the Thinker; Katara is the city's foremost doctor and philanthropist; Suki is a detective/private security chief; and Toph runs the banks because nobody else is capable. She also laid a lot of the city's foundation.
The Mechanist is here inventing things. Wu is a popular singer with his own radio program. Suyin is a prima donna ballerina. Asami is...presumably doing something amazing, but I didn't write that bit down.
The villain rogue's gallery is all here as well, moving back and forth across the tears and causing mischief and mayhem. Zaheer's radical spirituality causes Aang (Rapture Founder) to ban religion, and Unalaq tries to get control of the Avatar Program so that he can become an Avatar himself. Ozai and Zhao extend their feelers throughout both cities, seizing power and resources for themselves. Amon slots himself nicely into the Atlas role (plot twist and all), so nothing really more to say there. Kuvira is apparently a former police officer turned mob boss capitalizing on the chaos for her own gain. Long Feng is a cold technocrat who runs a private security firm and manages assets for city big wigs. My note on him is "a less affable Sinclair."
Pro-bending/ADAM boxing is a thing, so Mako and Bolin are here trying to make it big in the big bad city/ies, which probably means I planned some background Wuko.
I have no idea what my endgame was. I don't know what the actual plot was going to be. This project wasn't one I seriously considered planning out in detail because I was in the middle of H&V/J&R work, and that takes priority over anything else with this level of ambition. Having said that, it might be interesting to take another pass at the concept and see if I can turn all of that up there into something workable.
WIP Game master post.
#atla#fanfic#wip#tag meme#tag game#zukka#jesus h roosevelt christ#i have no chill guys#none whatsoever
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MY TOP 100 ALBUMS OF 2023
100. André 3000 - New Blue Sun
99. PinkPanthress - Heaven Knows
98. Blonde Redhead - Sit Down For Dinner
97. Louise Post - Sleepwalker
96. Slowdive - everything is alive
95. Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We
94. Juan Wauters - Wandering Rebel
93. Jenny Lewis - Joy’All
92. Devendra Banhart - Flying Wig
91. Vagabon - Sorry I Haven’t Called
90. Claud - Supermodels
89. BETWEEN FRIENDS - I Love My Girl, She’s My Boy
88. Rêve - Saturn Return
87. Barry Can’t Swim - When Will We Land?
86. Laufey - Bewitched
85. Poolside - Blame It All On Love
84. Melanie Martinez - PORTALS
83. KAYTRAMINÉ - KAYTRAMINÉ
82. Kim Petras - Feed The Beast
81. Slayyyter - STARFUCKER
80. Sufjan Stevens - Javelin
79. Sid Sriram - Sidharth
78. RAYE - My 21st Century Blues
77. Maxo - Debbie’s Son
76. Navy Blue - Ways Of Knowing
75. Bad Bunny - nadie sabe lo que va a pasar mañana
74. Cleo Sol - Heaven
73. Kiana Ledé - Grudges
72. deem spencer - adultSW!M
71. Mick Jenkins - The Patience
70. Earl Sweatshirt/The Alchemist - VOIR DIRE
69. Amaarae - Fountain Baby
68. Beach Fossils - Bunny
67. Blue Mena - Multi Adolescence
66. The Drums - Jonny
65. Indigo De Souza - All Of This Will End
64. The National - First Two Pages Of Frankenstein
63. The Kills - God Games
62. James Blake - Playing Robots Into Heaven
61. Little Dragon - Slugs Of Love
60. Yves Tumor - Praise A Lord Who Chews…
59. Lapsley - Cautionary Tales Of Youth
58. Unknown Mortal Orchestra - V
57. Adi Oasis - Lotus Glow
56. Pale Jay - Bewilderment
55. Olivia Dean - Messy
54. October London - The Rebirth Of Marvin
53. Jamila Woods - Water Made Us
52. Leon Thomas - Electric Dusk
51. NEIL FRANCES - It’s All A Bit Fuzzy
50. Fever Ray - Radical Romantics
49. Disclosure - Alchemy
48. Arlo Parks - My Soft Machine
47. Cautious Clay - KARPEH
46. Jorja Smith - falling or flying
45. BLK ODYSSY - DIAMONDS & FREAKS
44. Janelle Monáe - The Age Of Pleasure
43. El Michels Affair/Black Thought - Glorious Game
42. Miley Cyrus - Endless Summer Vacation
41. Joesef - Permanent Damage
40. Eartheater - Powders
39. SG Lewis - AudioLust & HigherLove
38. Lucinda Chua - YIAN
37. Lil Yachty - Let’s Start Here.
36. Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall Of A Midwest Princess
35. Sampha - Lahai
34. Jessie Ware - That! Feels Good!
33. SBTRKT - THE RAT ROAD
32. Kylie Minogue - Tension
31. Masego - Masego
30. Reneé Rapp - Snow Angel
29. CARRTOONS - Saturday Night
28. The Japanese House - In The End It Always Does
27. Jungle - Volcano
26. Christine & The Queens - PARANOÏA, ANGELS, TRUE LOVE
25. Oneohtrix Point Never - Again
24. Yaeji - With A Hammer
23. Yeek - Future Reference
22. yeule - softscars
21. Wakai - Some People Scream, Some People Talk
20. Blondshell - Blondshell
19. Yazmin Lacey - Voice Notes
18. Youth Lagoon - Heaven Is A Junkyard
17. Victoria Monet - JAGUAR II
16. Doja Cat - Scarlet
15. billy woods/Kenny Segal - Maps
14. B. Cool-Aid/Pink Siifu/Ahwlee - Leather Blvd.
13. Romy - Mid Air
12. Daniel Caeser - NEVER ENOUGH
11. Chiiild - Better Luck In The Next Life
10. Kelela - Raven
9. Kali Uchis - Red Moon In Venus
8. Beirut - Hadsel
7. Liv.e - Girl In The Half Pearl
6. Troye Sivan - Something To Give Each Other
5. boygenius - the record
4. King Krule - Space Heavy
3. Noname - Sundial
2. Speakers Corner Quartet - Further Out Than The Edge
1. Gotts Street Park - On The Inside
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For @snailfen
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Pit Saves Canada - Chapter 2: Attack on Cananada
AN: Wow, I can't believe how many people have read the story already! Although I've only posted it a few days ago, it already has 7 reviews on fanfiction dot net! So thank you all of my readers. Unless you're Tim, then fuck you, Tim. This chapter will have some REAL ACTION and it will be so cool and edgy that you will literally have an orgasm.
Chapter 2: Attack on Cananada
"I can't believe I'm finally in the great white north! What a beautiful place!" Pit loves Canada, if you couldn't already tell. "I'm going to do EVERYTHING here in Ottawa!" The angle twins were in a gift shop in Ottawa because Pit wanted to buy 20 more sets of Canadian-themed clothes. Right now, Pit was still wearing his Mountie costume, and Pittoo was wearing a Kill la Kill shirt because even though it's anime, at least it's edgy anime.
"And I'm not going," said Pittoo, while looking up edgy anime memes on his phone.
"Yes you are! And you're going to love it! I made a list of everything that I'm going to do in Canada!" he said, taking out a Dictionary-sized notebook. "Number 1: Masturbate in a Tim Horton's bathroom!"
"Wtf why would you even say that?!" yelled Pittoo in horror.
"Haha I'm joking!" Pit luckily said. "You need to cheer up, Splatoon! Canada is a beautiful place! Just look outside! There's so much nature everywhere that wild animals are roaming the streets!" He pointed outside at the many moose, polar bears, and beavers running around and letting people pet them. "Look, a Chespin is coming into the store!"
A wild Chespin walked into the store and said "Chespin!"
"Wait..." said Pittoo. "Oh no! Oh no no no no! Don't you dare! I know what you're trying to do! Don't you fucking dare! I've seen enough of those shitty tumblr fanfic quotes to know what you're about to do SO STOP! I fucking swear, I will shoot you! I have this gun right in my hands, and I swear to Saitama I MEAN SATAN FUCK that you'll be dead if you do this. SO STOP IT RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING FURRY BITCH!"
Chespin took a step out the door. "Chespou-"
*BANG*
Chespin fell down dead as Pittoo lowered his gun. He regretted nothing.
"WHAT THE HECK PITTOO YOU MURDERED HIM!"
"HEY, I WARNED HIM, AND HE STILL DID IT!"
Palutena, Icarus, and Bean walked up while all wrapped in a giant Canadian scarf.
"This is a group hug scarf," explained Palutena. "You go up to someone and then wrap them in this for a group hug! That way they can't get away!"
"Do you two want to join our group hug?" asked Icarus.
"Yeah!" yelled Pit.
"Fuck no!" yelled Pittoo.
They didn't listen to Dark Pit and wrapped them both in the scarf.
"AH GET ME OUT!" squealed Pittoo edgily. "HISS! HISS!"
"Hey, cashier, do you want to join in our group hug?" Palutena asked the girl working at the counter.
"Sure, eh!" she exclaimed happily and joined in.
"Everyone else in the store, you can join in, too!"
"Yay!" everyone yelled and then joined in the hug.
"WTF GET ME OUT OF HERE!" whined Pittoo.
"Canada!" said Pit because Canada.
LATER:
The angle family all got on a tour bus so that they could see all the great sights in Ottawa. They saw the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Parliament building, the National Gallery of Canada, and even the Canadian White House! Pit was screaming in happiness the entire time while Pittoo put on the same noise-cancelling headphones from earlier.
"I hope I can meet Trudeau! He is my true hero, and I want to take a picture with him and get his autograph and take another picture and get another autograph and then take another another picture and then-"
Suddenly, a GIANT ROBOT tore the roof off of the bus! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!11111111111111111111111111111111111" screamed everyone.
The evul robot trapped Palutena, Icarus, and Bean in a glowing cage and then flew away before anyone could do anything.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO MOM AND DAD AND OTHER DAD!" yelled Pit and Pittoo.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!" screeched Pit.
"SHIT WHAT DO WE DO?!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" and then they both ran in circles screaming until they realized that there were robots everywhere.
A familiar voice rung from the robots. "People of Canada, you may now welcome your new leader, ME, DONALD TRUMP! I now have enough money that I bought the entire United States and am now their overlord. And with my new power, I have the authority (and money) to take over your country. Sit aside and let us take you over and harvest your country's resources. Also, if you're wondering about your shitty former leader, he have him in captivity. That is all for today. Goodbye, and enjoy your new lives in the United States of Trump."
"OH SHOOT TRUMP TOOK OVER CANADA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER FIRST OUR PARENTS WERE KIDNAPPED AND THEN CANADA WAS TAKEN OVER BY DONALD TRUMP!1111111 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!11111111111111111111111"
Everyone ran in terror to the nearest Tim Hortons and barricaded themselves inside.
"Do you have any ideas of what to do now?" asked Pittoo.
"I know! I'LL CALL OVERWATCH!" Pit took out his phone and dialed a number. "Hello, is this Overwatch?
"No, thees is Tito Dick 'Dickman,' baby," Tito Dick replied.
"Oh, soory, wrong number," said Pit, hanging up. "I don't know Overwatch's number, and so I accidentally called Tito Dick."
"If you didn't know their number, then what did you type into the phone?"
"I don't know, I just typed in a random number and hoped it would be the right one."
"That makes literally no sense. And wait...OH FUCK YOU SAID DICK!"
"Wait, no! I WAS JUST SAYING HIS NAME I DIDN'T CURSE!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EARS YOU CURSED AAHAHHAHHAHAAHAH!"
"I'M SO SOORY!" screamed Pit and then they both cried into each other's arms. "Oh yeah WE NEED TO SAVE TRUDEAU AND ALSO SAVE CANADA!"
"I have an idea! We can form a team to SAVE CANADA!"
"Did I hear someone wanting to form a team?" asked a voice in the distance. It was...Johnny Test?! "I can help with my AWESOME talking dog! We can do TOTALLY RADICAL things like rebelling from authority and riding on EPIC skateboards!" he yelled making whiplash noises and other sound effects everwhere.
"Never mind, Pittoo and I will go by ourselves."
"Yes, we must...GO ROUGE!" said the formerly satin-worshiping angle. "We just need to know where Trump took the Prime Minister!"
"Look, he posted something on Instagram!"
The angle opened an image of Trudeau taking a selfie while being escorted by guards. It was captioned, "Guys, I've been captured and taken to the Pentagon by Donald Trump!"
"That's it! We need to go to Washington D.C and save him!" exclaimed Pit. "And look, a ride is right there!" He pointed to a nearby moose. But it wasn't a regular moose. It was a radioactive moose that could travel at high speeds! The angle twins jumped onto its back and sped away.
They quickly got to the border, but faced trouble once they got there.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Pit. "Trump built a wall on the Canadian-American border! "Quick Pittoo, use your anime powers!"
"ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!" screamed Pittoo as he punched a huge hole in Trump's wall.
Then things started going smoothly again. The moose was so fast that they got to D.C within 5 minutes.
"Look, it's the Pentagon!" pointed out Pittoo. They began to invade the Pentagon, Pittoo fighting with a katana and Pit using a hockey stick.
MEMEWHILE:
"So, Mr. Canada," said Trump trying to be tough. "Where do you have the weapons hidden."
"I don't know what you're talking about, eh?" Trudeau said with a poker face much better than Umi's in Love Live School Idol Project.
"I know you have Canadian super-weapons hidden in Ottawa, and I need to find them!"
Suddenly, an alarm went off. While Trump was distracted, Trudeau slugged him in the face and ran. "Soory aboot that, eh?" he said while running off. But he couldn't get too far before some evil agents like the ones in the Matrix came up and pointed guns at him. "You darn hosers!" exclaimed the Prime Minister.
Luckily, Pit got there just in time to knock the agents out with his hockey stick. "Justin Trudeau, IT'S REALLY YOU!" Pittoo soon got up behind them and sheathed his katana.
"Quick, we have to get out of here before Trump sends in reinforcements. I have a portal gun with me that can take me back to Ottawa, but it only works when powered by maple syrup!"
"Good thing I have some with me!" said Pit, taking out a jug. He poured the syrup into the portal gun, causing the portal to open up, and they hastily jumped through and appeared in Ottawa.
"CANADA, I MISSED YOU!" screamed Pit, kissing the ground.
"You were only gone for a fucking hour," complained Pittoo.
"Any time from Canada is a bad time, Pittoo."
"I agree," said Trudeau.
"OMGOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY YOU! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"
"Why, thank you for saving me, eh! I am so gratified to the two of you! What are your names?"
"I'm Pit, and I love Canada more than anything! This is my edgy weeb brother Pittoo!"
"Konichiwa, I mean 'sup," Pittoo edged weebily.
"How would you two like to help me...SAVE CANADA!"
"OH MY MACDONALD, YES! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR CANADA!"
Someone walked out of the nearby Tim Hortons, and it was Lucas from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl. "Look, Trudeau is safe!"
A group of Canadians walked in from fighting the robots with axes, hockey sticks, and shotguns. "Hoor-eh!" they exclaimed (AN: GEDDIT!).
All of the Canadians went into the restaurant with the angles and the PM and had a party.
"We're so glad you're safe, Mr. Prime Minister!" said a Canadian girl.
"Why, I couldn't have gotten out if it wasn't for these two angles!" he said, patting Pit and Pittoo on the back.
"OH MY GOSH TRUDEAU JUST TOUCHED ME!1" exclaimed Pit happily.
Suddenly, a man with a gun kicked down the door!
"Prime Minister Trudeau, I'm CIA!" he said, pointing a gun at him.
Then a bulky masketta man walked into the room! "I'm crashing this party...with no survivors!"
AN: GASP! Who is this mysterious masketta man? AND WILL THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE? Find out next time! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and please tell me what you thought in the comments!
#pit#canada#kid icarus#super smash bros#fanfiction#crack fic#pittoo#dark pit#justin trudeau#donald trump#parody#crack#shitpost
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