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#Pandemic mention
inaris-pokemon-world · 9 months
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Okay, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to do this, but I can't help it! I love apocalyptic scenarios, so...
• The disease that plagues the lands and killed off most of the humans was man-made, and the project was called "Project Breathe." Millions of self-replicating AI-guided nanomachines that were designed to be more efficient at combating diseases than standard vaccinations. They spread through the air, much like the typical strategies employed by most pathogens, but they were supposed to do the exact polar opposite rather than make the host sick. When a host is infected, the machines do what they were programmed to do, or try to, but end up attacking the wrong targets and ending up destroying the host's body in the process. This infection has been given the street name "Red cough" since individuals who are infected often cough blood due to the damage being caused to their respiratory systems by the machines. Other symptoms include mild to severe intestinal distress and pain, mild to severe pain in certain muscles and joints, red and irritated eyes, mild to severe weakness and lack of energy for daily tasks, mild to severe delirium, and finally, death, which usually occurs during sleep and deep states of rest. Due to the strongly adaptive nature of the machines, they are notoriously elusive and difficult to treat using any currently known methods, making finding a cure highly unlikely. Their highly adaptive nature has also led to them jumping species to Pokemon, starting with the more "human-like mon" due to their similarities with humans in terms of anatomy and bodily functions, leading to a new strain of Red Cough that specifically infects Pokemon. The outbreak all started with a failed attempt by a group of individuals attempting to steal the canister containing Project Breathe, which ended up broken during their apprehension by the authorities and ended up infecting everyone on the scene, who then went on to spread the machines and begin the pandemic.
• Despite the span of time that went by, some humans still remain. Mostly the ones who lived in areas isolated from the general population, or the ones who prepared accordingly. Though they usually don't interact with others outside of their homes, Pokemon included, and are VERY antisocial when they have to go outside the confines of their homes. Actively and STRONGLY avoiding interaction with Pokemon and other humans out of fear of infection, but also because, as humans, the Red Cough isn't the only thing they have to worry about. As Pokemon have been taking over where humans have left off, some Pokemon grieve the loss of their human comrades, making efforts to preserve what remains of them while forming organizations devoted to seeking out any surviving humans and helping them stay alive, and hopefully ensuring the continuation of their existence, while other Pokemon blame humans for what is happening and are frankly glad that they're finally dying off, making humans out to be monsters and diseases of their own that should be eradicated at all costs while their numbers are still weak. This, in turn, adds to the many conflicts out there in the new world, simply adding to the chaos at times.
• It is entirely unknown why the Red Cough does not affect Inaris and her baby. Perhaps they hold the key to putting an end to the nightmare known as the Red Cough. Though it may mean they'd be, once again, locked away in another lab, for Arcuos knows how long, being likely subjected to various tests, pokes, and prods. And it is also unclear if they'll both be able to see the result of their contributions since sometimes, in order to make a miracle happen, a sacrifice must be made. Whether or not Inaris goes through with any of this is completely up to her, and it's also completely up to whoever approaches her with this proposal to be reasonable or unreasonable...
• Matcha and Inaris's other child are unfortunately not immune to the Red Cough. They can still catch it, suffer from it, and be killed by it.
Also, optional bonus: Can you draw Inaris, how you'd think she'd look in this AU, based on how you described her in the texts previously?
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Here is the form Inari is seen in most often. It’s her go-to disguise because she can hold it longer than any other (since Raichu have similar anatomy to Mew). A lot of this overlaps with what I would do with the au (though I didn’t think of nanomachines, that’s really clever :0), though I will say Inari’s other child would also be immune to the disease because of [spoilers].
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kaitoukye · 4 months
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Since I never finished Chicken Time's sequel due to it having less reader engagement and still have yet to get working on the annotations to explain some jokes If anyone remembers this scene and didn't get the joke:
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Its actually not a rat. The story makes it incredibly obvious their pet is a dog, but Saguru chooses violence because he's mad Kaito rearranged the living room. Annabelle is actually a rat terrier and Kaito was just too "well this might as well happen" at the time to question it.
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little-peril-stories · 6 months
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Happy STS, Kate!
Writing about a world other than our own involves choosing some elements of our world to include and others to leave out. In your writing, do any such elements stand out, like a real topic you put in your fictional setting, or a significant everyday detail of our world which doesn’t exist there?
Did anything work its way in without your intent, e.g. sayings or traditions or units of measurement you didn’t consciously include, but noticed later on? If so, did you remove them or leave them in place?
- @verkja
Thanks so much, @verkja, for the ask! Happy STS!
Hmm. My main stories (TPOT, TQOL) on here take place in our world (just heavily fictionalized) and my Tumblr fantasy, TCC, doesn't have much of a developed world at all, so I guess I'll draw on my non-Tumblr novels to answer. :)
In that... well, I "accidentally" included a pandemic in the past. I say "accidentally" because at this point I've written this damn book so many times I don't remember when I added/decided on/changed things. All I know is that at one point, the character had a birthmark and then later it became a scar, and it was from an illness, not an injury, and the illness was widespread, and hell if I know whether I made that decision before or after COVID.
In terms of mundane things? Workplaces and educational institutions are pretty organized in my world, and very based on real ones. My main character has a job (in a workplace with very clear rules, expectations, hierarchy, and structure), which she got by attending what we might call a vocational school and which differs from the more "formal" or "academic" universities that are also present. So I borrowed those concepts from real life.
Sayings? I'm still battling with whether to include "okay" to this day. And I had to consciously monitor which curses I was using - were they too reminiscent of our world? I meant to invent some original curses and. uh. forgot. [just checked the manuscript and apparently I used 'damn' seven times but nothing else.]
I included "miles," which is funny because I'm Canadian and don't understand miles at all, but I also don't think the metric system really works in a fantasy setting. 😂 I only used "inch" as a verb.
If I included anything unconsciously, I haven't become conscious of it yet. 😁
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flirts-with-dragons · 11 months
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Not a professional but the crazy thing about ptsd is that you can be going through multiple ptsd's at the same time in different severities, complexities, and stages. Like for example I've got cptsd from my childhood abuse, cptsd from being bullied throughout school life, and at the same time, I've got regular ptsd from the mental hospital. I've also got another regular ptsd from cyberbullying. And the ptsd from the beginning of the pandemic! They're all at different recovery stages, they're all at different severities, and there's the differentiation between the forms of ptsd or cptsd.
I know some psychology student is gonna look at this and scoff, but I'm going through this and I know so many other people are. So many of us being poisoned by our own cortisol. Damn!
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kudos-si-do · 5 months
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move along (or you might as well be dead)
they tell me: sooner or later, life is going to look like it did before. i don't think that's true. when i was ten, my dad promised me that we'd come back to a place that came to mean more to me than anywhere else in the world. he died before we had the chance. sometimes i look at the pictures, at the curves of roller coasters gleaming above lake erie, and i wonder if he knew that his cancer would kill him.
it's been a long road. the chemo they used to save me — to poison me just enough to only almost kill me — almost killed me again, more than a year after remission. neuropathy, they said. common with chemotherapy. especially common with how much you were treated with.
it doesn't matter, what they say now. i hit the ground headfirst from somewhere around eight feet up. i don't remember it. you're getting better, they say, but then they take another look at me and i'm placed back into the prison i've only ever been paroled out of for a few scant days, a few golden hours.
there's blue ice cream on my tongue. they don't sell this specific kind here. i laugh as i say it's a gel or a liquid, banned on airplanes. freedom, taken back. blue, blue, blue.
you tell me that my family isn't normal. i've been told all my life that every family is its own kind of mess, that my family wasn't any messier than anyone else's. that maybe we were lucky, getting the family we had. i believe only part of it now, but before you, i believed it completely. yes, it's true that humans are messy. we get our messes everywhere. but it isn't so normal for someone to throw away your possessions and laugh while you sob, scoff as you dig through the dumpster for pieces of your childhood you can never get back. or is it normal? am i making everything about myself again? am i being dramatic? i've been told that all my life — i'm too dramatic. i walk on three broken bones and i don't complain.
your family isn't normal either. someday i'll send hockey postcards to your father without an ounce of guilt. someday i'll look another member of your family in the eye and disagree, even though i was supposed to be agreeable, even though i promised i wouldn't do anything to make your life harder. smile, smile, smile, i told myself. be at your best. don't let your cracks show through.
my dad was supposed to teach me to drive, to threaten my significant others, to walk me down the aisle. all my friend was supposed to do was grow up. she'd be an adult now. her birthday was last month. the sixteenth anniversary of her death was a less than three weeks ago. she's dead, frozen in time as a kid with a feeding tube up her nose and a bucket hat on her head, always pink or purple. i remember thinking that she was the bravest person i'd ever known. my dad was brave, too. does bravery always beget bravery?
i'm going to die. one day, if not today. if not tomorrow. if not next week, next month, next year. i'm trapped in the same few hundred square feet as i'm always trapped in. you're late by an hour to pick me up from the airport. i think i should be annoyed about it, but i only shake my head. i wonder what adventure your adhd has taken you on. when i hug you, there's relief in the action. i'm tired. my head is spinning. i'm not quite there, not quite right, but i want to be. i'm a little bit trapped in my mind, i think. am i being dramatic? later, i'll hit my head lightly on a support column in the barn while you're trying to teach me to dance. it will bruise, just barely, but enough to betray me. i'll have bad migraines for days, and i'll be too scared to talk about it. i find the fucked up basement we joked about and i make sure you see it.
i don't touch people much. most days, i don't like to be touched. i remember that my dad's hugs felt like the safest place on earth. i wonder if there's anything left of him below the ground, eighteen years later, or if it's all just bone. i've lived much longer without him than with him. i try to project safety through my arms and hope that's enough. or at least something. anything. i can touch people i'm comfortable with, most of the time. every time i thought you looked sad, i did my best. i swung my arm around your shoulders. shook your arm. made a face. i hope it made a difference. i know it was hard, being where you were, doing what you did. i hope you knew that i was proud of you.
i'm scared, but i'm not allowed to be. i fight with my brain, frustration growing. i watch your family with suspicion, with disapproval that they might or might not have earned. i try to be friendly, project myself in a way that makes me enjoyable to the people around me. i'm not that person, not really, not always. one of my friends says i'm much different in person than i am otherwise. is that true? who am i, really? am i someone who can be seen, whose flaws can be pushed away enough to only show the light? when i looked at them, who did they see looking back?
it was odd, hearing my name with a different sound to it. everyone used the same pronouns, but not the ones i'm used to hearing. it's funny, i think. gender means nothing to me, but at home, i hear a different set of pronouns. sometimes i wonder what it would be like, but i don't dwell. it wouldn't be dangerous, i don't think, not in the way a lot of queer folk are in danger, but it would bring more harshness and hardness to my life than i think i can currently bear. i wonder if you think that i'm a coward. am i a coward?
i'm in bed again. you were supposed to be here this week. i watch the plans sift out of my hands like sand. the pressure in my chest is enormous. it hurts to breathe, sometimes. my head is tangled up. they think i'm having seizures. i'm spending more time inside the hospital than i have in a long time. it curls in my chest like fire against bare skin, but i have to bear it. you're lucky, they tell me. it can always be worse. can't it?
i was raised by a religious mother and a non-religious father. once he was gone, there was nothing left to protect me from it. i spent years entrenched in it. i remember one of my teachers bragging that they didn't take money from the government so that they weren't beholden to their requirements. they didn't have to hire the gays, she said. i remember how one of my bible instructors told me to keep my mouth shut. i had too many questions. i ruined too much. the only time i blatantly cheated, it was on a test to name the chapters of the bible. i was caught and suspended. the teacher looked at me like i was scum the rest of my time at that school. am i fake, made of plastic and metal? am i real, flesh and bone and sinew? pulling out of that hate has taken a decade, and i'm still not done.
i stand amongst the protesters, those early months of the pandemic. i wonder, even then, if it will make a difference. years later, my cousin hangs a wooden flag with a blue stripe above her door. i burn underneath my skin. i say nothing.
i found the churro ice cream in the freezer section with a "new!" label around the plastic tamper shield. i bought both of the pints that they had and put them in the freezer. i got a pint of half baked, too. i prefer phish food, myself. i look up the closest scoop store and wonder what it would take to get there. i don't touch any of the pints.
i'm not allowed to drive. my car sits, unused. i rankle as i pace the same endless walls. i trip on nothing. i sit back down, mutinous. i haven't been kind to the breaks in my pelvis and femur. they twinge from the cold, or from overuse, or from both. i remember walking around the oncology floor years ago, spurred by the sheer amount of steroids i was on to offset the effects of the difficult rounds of chemo. there was no leaving, nothing but the same floor and the same walls and the same enlarged pictures of flowers. i got paranoid enough to think that they were watching me. in some ways, i think they're still watching me.
there aren't any flowers in my room. i don't like to see them, outside of in nature, but sometimes i understand the desire to receive flowers. i've never been given them. i've never considered myself as particularly desirable. i've dated, and the relationships have ended in failure. but i loved them, once. i still love them, in a way. i'm not sure if there's a wrong way to love, so long as you're loving in good faith. i wonder if i'm lying to myself about love, if i even have the capacity to love. i wonder if i'm lying to myself about any good traits i think i might have more often than i care to admit. i'm not a good person, i think. i try, scrape and scrabble my way up mountains, but it never feels like enough.
i forgive you for not braiding my hair.
but you knew that, didn't you?
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tragicallywicked · 7 months
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i wish you would take this seriously. - laura to bradley
NOTE: This turned out sadder than expected, I apologize. CONTAINS SEASON 3 SPOILERS
The sun cast a muted glow over Laura Peterson's ranch in Montana, illuminating the vast expanse of grass and the mountains in the distance. It was a place of solitude and peace, a stark contrast to the chaos brewing in the rest of the country.
Inside the ranch's cozy living room, Bradley Jackson was pacing restlessly, her fingers drumming against her thigh. "Laura, this is huge. I need to be there, on the ground, reporting live. It's what I do."
Laura, seated on the couch with a worried expression, responded, "Bradley, I know you. I know your commitment to your work, but you need to think this through. The protests, the tension... it's a powder keg. And with the virus still rampant? It's a disaster waiting to happen."
Bradley turned to face her, frustration evident in her eyes. "This is history in the making. I've covered protests, debates, elections. This is my job. But this? I can't just sit here and watch it unfold on TV."
Laura took a deep breath, trying to control her rising emotions. "It's not just about the job. It's about you being safe. You've seen how intense and violent things have become. And with COVID still around, it's double the risk."
The weight of Laura's concern was palpable, but Bradley's sense of duty was unwavering. "I've always taken risks in my career. This is no different."
The atmosphere in the room grew tenser. Laura's voice, filled with a mix of frustration and fear, rose a notch. "I wish you would take this seriously."
Bradley's face hardened, her patience wearing thin. "I am taking it seriously, Laura. But this is who I am. Journalism is my life."
Laura shot up from the couch, her voice raising in tandem with her frustration. "This isn't just about journalism! This is about our life, about your safety! Why can't you see that?!"
"You think I don't know the risks?!" Bradley retorted, her voice echoing through the room. "I know what's at stake. But I can't hide away from the world just because it's dangerous."
Laura's voice cracked with emotion. "You're being selfish, Bradley. What if something happens to you? What then? Have you ever thought about that?"
Bradley's anger peaked. "Maybe you'd be happier if I just sat around here all day, doing nothing while the world falls apart! Is that what you want?!"
"That's not fair, and you know it," Laura shot back, tears starting to brim in her eyes. "All I want is for you to be safe."
The room was thick with tension, both women breathing heavily. Bradley's voice was sharp and biting, "Maybe you should have thought about who I was before getting involved with me."
Laura's tears fell freely now, her voice barely a whisper, "Maybe I should have."
The painful silence that followed was deafening. Both were caught in their own whirlwind of emotions, neither willing to bridge the growing divide between them.
With a final, resentful glance, Bradley stormed off to the guest room, slamming the door behind her. Laura sank to the floor, her tears falling thickly down her cheeks, the weight of their words and the uncertainty of the future pressing down on her.
The stillness of the night was occasionally pierced by the distant cries of animals and the rustling of trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind. The stars overhead shone brilliantly, each twinkle a testament to the vastness of the universe and the minuteness of human squabbles.
Inside, the cold silence persisted. Bradley, sitting on the edge of the guest bed, cradled her head in her hands. She replayed the evening's confrontation over and over, wrestling with her emotions and the weight of her decisions. The longing to be in D.C., to report, to be part of the historical narrative was visceral. But was it worth the distance it was creating between her and Laura?
Down the hallway, Laura lay on the couch, a blanket haphazardly draped over her. The soft glow from the fireplace painted her face in a dance of light and shadow. Tears had left trails on her cheeks, now drying, but the pain remained. She understood Bradley's dedication, her passion. It was one of the things she admired most about her. Yet, the fear of losing her, of being left alone in a world filled with uncertainties, was overpowering.
That night, the ranch that had been their sanctuary felt cold and distant, as both women grappled with their own thoughts, emotions, and fears, separated by walls and unspoken words.
Hours seemed to stretch into an eternity, but as dawn approached, a new resolve formed in Bradley's heart.
She slowly packed her bags, each fold of clothing a reminder of the world she felt so drawn to. As she zipped up her suitcase, she took one last look around the guest room – at the rustic decor, the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, and the memories she'd made with Laura.
Laura, who had silently been observing from the doorway, finally broke the silence. "Bradley," her voice was soft, filled with a mix of pain and understanding.
Bradley met her gaze, her eyes heavy with unshed tears. "I have to go, Laura. You know that."
Laura nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "I do. But that doesn't make it any easier."
Bradley took a deep breath, her voice firm. "Maybe it's best if we don't do this anymore. Clearly, our priorities are different."
Laura's eyes flashed with pain and anger. "You're choosing your job over your life Bradley."
Bradley's frustration was palpable. "I'm choosing my purpose, Laura. I thought you, of all people, would understand that."
"You're risking your life out there!" Laura shot back, her voice rising in desperation. "And for what? Another story? Another headline?"
Bradley clenched her jaw, her emotions on the edge. "Then maybe it's best if you don't."
The coldness of the words hung heavily in the air between them, a tangible force that seemed to press down on their shoulders. The atmosphere in the room grew dense, laden with regret, resentment, and unspoken feelings. The love that had once felt invincible, that had been their anchor through so many storms, now felt fragile and frayed.
Both stood rigid, their postures echoing the defensive walls they had built around their hearts. Eyes that had once searched each other's with warmth and understanding now avoided contact, lest they betray the depth of pain that lay beneath.
Each second that passed felt like an eternity, the room echoing with the deafening silence of words left unsaid and emotions unchecked. Their hearts, once so intricately entwined, now felt miles apart, separated by the weight of choices and priorities.
It was clear that the rift between them wasn't just about this current argument. It was the culmination of every unsaid word, every unaddressed issue, and every ignored feeling that had slowly built up over time. The chasm wasn't created in a day; it was the result of many moments, big and small, where they had chosen pride over love, stubbornness over understanding.
In that room, under the weight of all they had been and all they could have been, they both realized the fragility of love and how quickly it could be overshadowed by the complexities of life.
Laura looked at Bradley, her eyes filled with tears. "Fine. Go. Just... go."
The palpable tension in the room seemed to tighten even more as Bradley reached for her suitcase, the weight of the leather handle symbolizing so much more than just her belongings. Each movement she made was deliberate, her posture rigid, attempting to shield herself from the barrage of emotions threatening to break through.
Laura watched, her heart clenching painfully in her chest, as Bradley prepared to walk out of the life they'd built together. Each step Bradley took seemed to resonate deeply within the walls of the ranch, echoing the profound sense of loss and finality. Laura's throat tightened, and her eyes stung with unshed tears, the sheer magnitude of their ending overwhelming her.
Bradley's grip on the suitcase was tight, knuckles white, betraying the turmoil she felt inside. Though she walked with a certain briskness, there was a hint of hesitance in her stride, as if a part of her was still clinging to the hope of reconciliation, of words that could bridge the gulf between them.
As she approached the door, Bradley's resolve began to waver ever so slightly. For a moment, she paused. In that split second, a myriad of emotions passed between them — regret, sorrow, longing, and the heart-wrenching pain of goodbye. But Bradley didn’t look back, so Laura didn’t stop her.
But with a deep, shuddering breath, Bradley pushed the door open, the chilly Montana air rushing in, mingling with the heated atmosphere of their argument. The door closed behind her with a soft but definitive click, and the resounding silence that followed felt like a void, emphasizing the huge gaping hole left in the wake of her departure.
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saltminerising · 2 years
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sometimes i wonder if ppl on here forget that we’re still living thru a global pandemic and staff Said they & their families got sick and that impacted a lot of recent issues (lack of share weeks, the changed fest post time, assorted delays, etc). sorry that ur free petsite is run by human beings and not robots, Life Happens my dudes
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blistering-typhoons · 11 months
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‘Statement regarding a potential pandemic originating in the town of Klanxbüll, Germany.’
oH LoRD, OH GOD-
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If Dream Daddy had come out post-pandemic it would’ve gotten a melodramatic Netflix adaptation.
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izzydrawsforfun · 1 year
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What do you think of Jair Balsonaro?
I know this is an art account, but there are times where I gotta be serious here. I can't pretend to ignore what happens in my country, and I gotta be the voice of my people to my followers who are from other countries.
Content Warning for Political Discussions, Pandemic mention, and general hate speech mention:
That being said... Bolsonaro is, in my honest and humble opinion, a tumor in society. Not only one of the worst presidents Brazil ever had in matters of economy... But his wave of hatred left a undeniable scar in brazilian society. He was ellected by fear, prejudice, hate speech. He was supported and fed by the masses and the elite members that were tired of seeing the working class, lower classes and beyond being able to buy houses, cars, to attend universities that only their lil rich children were attending.
He was ellected on fake news about gender ideology, communist threats, and turned politics into a holy war. He made his followers believe that he was a messenger of God and Jesus themselves and everyone who was against them, was the Enemy and should be purged. He was completely reckless during the Pandemic, we had over 650.000 people who lost their lives to the virus because he refused to buy vaccines and mocked people who were hospitalized with the virus.
And just yesterday? His followers attempted our very own version of the Capitol invasions. All because they were salty that their little genocidal president was no longer in power. All because President Lula was approving laws to defend and protect the people, the environment, the POC, indigenous, LGBTQ+, working people. They stole and destroyed many of our nation's itens and art pieces, one of the copies of our Constitution...
While Bolsonaro himself is now in Florida, pretending to be sick at the Hospital because he doesn't want to come back to Brazil to be tried for his crimes. Not to mention his sons, who are the biggest suspects of the political murder of Ms. Marielle Franco. (Please look up her story. Marielle's memory is too important for the brazilian favela and the POC youth she was seeking to protect).
Bolsonaro is a coward. A joke in a presidential suit. A tumor that forever left a wave of pure hate on our nation, who destroyed our beloved Amazonia. I sincerely hope he faces trial and prison for what he did. And he sure is lucky that Brazil doesn't have death penalties. Because what he did can be very easily considered a betrayal against our nation. And I know very well how places like the US treat their traitors.
Overall... I'm just glad this Monster is no longer our president. And I am happy to see the whole world siding with our Democracy.
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inaris-pokemon-world · 9 months
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Hey, you're still doing AU concepts, aren't you?
How about "end world/fall of humanity" AU?
Humans have been extinct for only a decade or so. Pokémon have started taking over cities, and trying to move on without human interaction. It’s easier for some than others.
Inari was freshly fled from Team Rocket when the humans started dying off. Some disease, everyone said, something only humans caught. But then it started affecting some species of Pokémon too. First the most humanlike, then on until even a Legendary fell ill. After that, the Legendaries that could left the planet. Most of the rest hid away in fear.
Inari didn’t have that luxury. She couldn’t hibernate, she had to raise her son, who was too young to sleep for decades at a time. Fortunately, Inari and her son seemed to be immune to the illness, and the deaths started petering off after a year or so.
Currently, Inari and her son (plus her other child she discovers later) are the only Legendaries still active in most places. They try to keep a low profile, but end up exalted as saviors often. They just want to help Pokémon and keep to themselves.
Naturally, they end up finding Matcha’s egg somewhere and adopting them. It’s hard being a single parent in a lawless wasteland, but Inari manages.
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kaitoukye · 8 months
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I gotta go through Chicken Time and its incomplete sequel at some point and do annotations to explain weird little jokes that were only evident during the pandemic era or a certain era of my writing career, or jokes that were never evident unless you did your own research.
For example readers probably thought that the cat nip thing was just "lol, Saguru is a cat guy and Kaito does act cat like a lot" but catnip is a functional anti depressant and that is actually what they were using it for.
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youtube
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the-official-account · 9 months
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Everytime someone willfully misinterprets COVID guidelines I should be able to eat their heads off of their necks like a bewedded mantis
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snoodoodle · 10 months
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living through the start of the covid-19 pandemic and up until now is very strange because i went through a long spell where i carnally desired the taste of a guy’s lips, the embrace of another man, the mere touch and clumsiness of physical affections.  all of which is very wild for an aro-ace gay person to experience, you see...
anyway i hope we can all continue to not experience catastrophic worldwide or continental historically-significant events, lest i crave the taste of a man and be driven to madness for several months (again).
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one-abuse-survivor · 2 years
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Yo, dissociation here from the pits of hell known as Russia in the current political situation!✌🏻 Honestly I knew they say that the brain is adaptable, but I didn't know it was to this extent. Essentially, the crisis is still in full swing - also I think there has been a lot of messaging in most of the big very advertised films that have come out in the past..... Fiveish years? which can be summarised with "trust the government and sit on your asses while taking any hardship it causes, also fight for the behalf of your country for essentially nothing, just because we told you to", which makes me wonder if it is a P*tin propaganda thing or a this entire "operation" has been planned for a long time - but at this point I have just accepted the situation and am vibing. I have my first exam in a week, and at this point every day someone in my circle has a panic attack about failing. I look at it this way: either I do well and get into a in the capital for free (oh also they screwed over EVERYONE applying for uni and now like 20% of the free seats are inaccessible and now I want to 1917 these bitches even more (for "I don't want to go to prison" reasons this is a joke)), or I do poorly and get into uni in another city while getting to ditch my abusive family early. Any words of encouragement before my final school exams?
And besides that, we have to deal with organising a concert for the school (a DAY before my first exam!!) and rehearse the waltz for the ceremony and dancing in heels is such shit, you won't believe it, if you have the opportunity to dance in heels DON'T TAKE IT it's horrible.
On another note, there has been a rift in tantrum land today: my brother and mother had an argument that got so violent and heated I thought they would kill each other over the whole... War thing. And believe me, a confrontation between a die-hard loyalist who believes that everything is fine and a person who looks at any sources other than government propaganda is a very explosive thing. My brother literally threatened to write a thing to the government that would send my mother in jail! Now, both of their opinions are shit, but that is a new low, even for them. I didn't even think there was a low to sink to, we're well pass the "Having threatened to murder family members multiple times" low and that is already six feet underground! Gods, I'm going to need so much therapy when I get out.
Good thing is I used that to get out of her bad graces - because this morning I dared to.... Go and eat breakfast in my room. No, literally, she went and threw a tantrum because of that. What the fuck. How am I, a wreck under an extreme amount of stress with a schedule more hectic that a doctor's (I'm still going to med school btw, even with the possible risk of getting drafted, because I didn't fight my entire abusive family on it for nothing) and with a fucking van of trauma I drag behind me daily more stable than these two fucks! Seriously, they act like emotionally stunted five year old and I am tired of it>:(
(Honestly, when I said "I want my teenage years to be more adventurous", I didn't mean "I want to live through a global pandemic and a war that exposed just how rotten the political core of the country is and have to hide everything about myself from beliefs to my raging queerness while trying to escape a violently abusive house", but oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Also I think I might get some more info and attempt to run away to another country in 1-2 years, but that is only if the info I get is the most fortunate. Wish me luck!)
As you can see, this one actually didn't turn out to be this heavy. Have a nice day!(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*.✧
Hi, nonnie! I'm guessing it's late for words of encouragement regarding your exams 😅 it sounds so stressful to have to organise a concert right before your exams start! I definitely will pass if I ever get the chance to dance in heels—I honestly can't even stand while wearing them 😂
Your brother and mother sound horrible to live with, it's no wonder you're tired of it :( I hope you can go go uni and get away from there soon. They sound so volatile and violent, and it's no wonder you carry so much trauma around, between them and your country's political situation/queerphobia (plus the pandemic... Ugh). I really hope you can get therapy to help you handle this all in the future, and that you find away to leave the country safely and live somewhere where you feel safe enough to heal.
Wishing you the best of luck with that and sending so many positive thoughts your way ❤️
I hope you have a nice day too!
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