Tumgik
#Pein x Konan
coycorry · 8 months
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Naruto x Barbie crossover
because apparently amegakure trio fits into barbie world too well.
honestly, I feel like Yahiko could be the person who calls his place «mojo dojo casa house» NOT ironically. and also he’s Konan’s simp, and she’s 10/10 goddess herself that should save her barbie world with a power of matriarchy, so…
also If someone wants to discuss Yahiko’s moment of climax, where he’s singing the song «I’m just Ken Pein» under the falling rain just SAY ONE WORD-
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cherubfae · 1 month
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|| love rival || Akatsuki x reader
They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.
tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MDNI
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Pain
He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.
"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."
Konan
Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.
"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."
Obito
You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.
"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."
Zetsu
As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.
"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"
Hidan
Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?
"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"
Kakuzu
Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.
"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."
Itachi
For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.
"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."
Kisame
Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.
"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."
Sasori
There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.
"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"
Deidara
This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.
"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."
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Naruto Love Languages (Akatsuki)
Pein/Nagato - Physical Touch
Nagato struggles with his public image and personal image. When he is around others he is a god, a highly power who will bring peace. He is held to such a high standard and that comes with a lot of pressure. Inside he feels like just another person, but knows he has to keep up the persona to execute his plan. When you join him in public he boosts you up as his equal, an equal god to rule with him. But when you two get away from others and back into solitude, Nagato just collapses into your arms and wants to stay there all day. Sure he was tons of paperwork to do, but god dammit have you see the state his body is in? He deserves ONE day off. Loves it when you let him lay down on your lap and you play with his hair. While he is definitely more touchy in private, you do notice that in public he will quietly snake his hand into yours and not let go the whole meeting
Konan - Gift Giving
Konan is stoic but very sweet. She's been hurt quite a bit and is afraid to reach out again. Even when dating you for awhile she occasionally catches herself getting comfortable and retreats a bit. You know she means well and understand her struggles, but it does get sad sometimes. Something that doesn't go away though is her gifts to you. Konan loves to make origami for you, and larger paper creations as well. Your favorite animals, your favorite anime characters, she even makes statues of you two together. Seeing your smile when you recieve these makes her heart soar. Giving you gifts is her one way to confidently express her love, and will bring out the most genuine smiles she ever gives
Itachi Uchiha - Acts of Service
Itachi has some issues showing his emotions more directly. He's a man of few words. But what he doesn't say in words he says in actions. He adores taking care of you. He misses taking care of a younger sibling, or just family in general, it makes him feel important. So caring for you feels just as good, even better since you guys get to kiss and cuddle and stuff. Itachi will always be cooking meals for you and picking up around the house. If you ever get sick this man will be at your side the whole time, I'm talking fresh soup and blankets. Sure he may be a full time Akatsuki member, but with you he's like a housewife. And he wouldn't have it any other way!
Kisame Hoshigaki - Quality Time
Kisame is the definition of loyalty. He is already loyal to his friends and teammates, but to you he is unwavering. He'll never lie to you, sell you out, cheat on you, nothing. You're the only one for him. You're so special and are so interesting to him. Spending time with you is bliss for him, even when you just sit around and casually chat. Kisame could listen to your voice and stare at your beautiful face for hours on end. You'll often find him just staring at you smiling sweetly (much to your embarrassment). He'll back off if you tell him to, but will be back at it the next day
Sasori - Quality Time
Sasori values eternity over everything, that's why he turned himself into a puppet. The passage of time won't affect him, and he doesn't want it to affect your relationship either. He's not big on talking or touching, it's more just existing with you that makes him happy. Whenever he works on his puppets he likes to have you in his studio doing your own thing (with the occasional small talk if you catch him on a good day). Sasori thinks in the long term as well, not worrying if you guys just spend a day doing nothing. You have years and years ahead of you, you can spend a day just doing nothing and relaxing. Just be aware he will consistantly try to convince you to become a puppet so you guys can really live for eternity forever
Deidara - Gift Giving
When you and Deidara started dating, he definitely was showing off awkwardly. I'm talking bragging about his achievements, hyping up his fighting skills, stuff like that. He's lucky he's cute cause he could kinda be insufferable lol. But once he got comfortable around you he mellowed out a lot. More genuine conversations, wider range of emotions and vulnerability, and more confident touches as well. Now he can hold your hand without freaking out. Deidara adores giving you gifts most of all though. His art is obviously the best, and you're the best, so you are worthy of it! His gifts range from tiny little birds that tweet your favorite song before poofing into smoke, or a whole giant dragon doing a show and exploding into colorful fireworks. All of Deidara's creations have tons of time and effort put into them to make sure they are the highest quality for you. Everytime there is a new surprise in his clay, and you look forward to it every day
Hidan - Physical Touch
...Are you surprised? Come on let's be real here. Hidan appreciates the more sinful things in life, and that includes your body. He's kind of a douchebag and you each piss each other off alot, but he DOES care for you. He wouldn't want any other partner, you're his favorite little shit and he couldn't dream of losing you. Not to mention this man worships your body. Everything about you is just perfectly carved by Jashin just for him. Pretty much anything you do will turn him on, you're just that sexy to him. Hidan has no shame and will actively start making out and feeling you up in public. Why should he have to wait to get home to ravish you, you look so good right here right now! And he isn't ashamed to show the world how much he loves you, fuck them all. If you manage to hold him off till you get home, the moment you walk in the door he is throwing you over his shoulder and parading to the bedroom
Kakuzu - Quality Time
Kakuzu isn't the most... romantic person in the world. He's a bit difficult to deal with, even in a relationship. Sometimes you wonder why you fell for this guy in the first place. But then he'll ask you to stay with him while he counts money and talk. The whole time he is attentive and engaged, surprising you with his sincerity. He likes to have you around him a lot and will sometimes drag you into the same room as him with no words. Just sit next to him and he's satisfied. Kakuzu is also protective of you more than anyone in his life. Most people he gives no shits about, just ask his previous teammates. But you don't annoy him as much and he found himself genuinely caring for you. So in return he will kill anyone who dares to threaten or hurt you. News flash though, you will always play second fiddle to money
Tobi/Obito - Words of Affirmation
Either persona he chooses uses words to show his affection, just in drastically different ways. As Tobi, he is waaaaaaay more open and extravagent about it. He is gushing about you all the time in front of everyone, constantly bragging about you during meetings, he will not shut the fuck up. The world will KNOW how cool and funny and hot you are. But when he is back to regular Obito, he definitely calms down. He is still very affectionate and vocal, but in a more private way. He saves this sincerity for alone time and very rare outings. These times he feels open to be vulnerable with you and enjoys telling you all the things he holds inside. So no matter what side of Obito you have, you are gonna be treated like a national treasure (Oh but uh, another problem with Tobi is that uh... nothing you guys do will be private. Everything is gonna be broadcasted to the rest of the Akatsuki, so get used to the group knowing what color panties you were wearing)
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Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings | Shinobi & Founders | Akatsuki
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yowyowyaoi · 5 months
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*at an Akatsuki meeting*
Pein: Alright, guys; as you know we’ve been having some severe financial problems lately.
Kakuzu: More than severe; we’re practically bankrupt.
Pein: Right. So, Konan had an idea that may help us generate some money. Konan?
Konan: Thank you, Pein. As some of you may be aware, body pillows are the latest trend these days. Not just any body pillows, but ones with pictures on them that the buyer finds to be “attractive”. Based on a recent poll, it’s been determined that Deidara, Itachi and Hidan are deemed the most attractive persons in this group, so —
Zetsu: What are you talking about? When I took that poll, YOU beat out all three of those guys by thousands of votes…
Konan: Oi, you’re not using MY image on something some perverted old man is going to buy and do terrible things to!
Konan: But anyways … *brings out the prototypes of the three boys’ pillows* This is what we’re going to be selling. Kakuzu has launched a website and —
Hidan: *grabbing his pillow* Holy shit I look fucking HOT!! Hey, ‘Kuzu … you want one for your room?
Kakuzu: And give myself nightmares? Pass.
Itachi: I … I’m not so sure I’m comfortable with my image being used for such a thing … but I suppose I’m grateful that in spite of my health issues I’m still found to be physically desirable.
Deidara: Oi … why am I shirtless?! Nobody wants to see the weird mouth on my chest, hm! I —
Kakuzu, on his laptop: The Deidara pillow just sold out.
Konan: W-what?? But we just launched the website and he had over 5,000 units! What the —
Tobi: That’s great, Senpai! Er, unrelated question but, Kakuzu-san … what do you do when you max out three credit cards at once?
Kakuzu:
Kisame: T-Tobi, did you —
Tobi, in Obito voice: Don’t you dare judge me, shark-boy. I’ve wanted this man for a year, and if THIS is the only way I get to cuddle him while I sleep, then so be it.
Deidara:
Everyone else:
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smh-yoon · 10 months
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akatsuki - fucking you dumb
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a/n: if you didn't know, i have an akatsuki bf/gf scenario book on wattpad and i was writing something for pein today that got a little spicy, so i had to bring it here. this will include all nine members, not including orochimaru.
pairings: pein, konan, hidan, kakuzu, deidara, sasori, obito, kisame, itachi x fem! reader
genre: smut; fem! on fem!, male! on fem!
warnings: dirty dirty talk!! (praise and degrading), swearing, creampie, fingering, giving head - male and fem receiving, exhibitionism, threesome, possessiveness, choking, toxic behavior (obito), tentacles, spitting, manhandling?, pool sex ofc
enjoy ;)
PEIN
the cold wood of the desk brushed against your nipples with every thrust of pein's hard cock into your cunt, adding to the buildup of your approaching orgasm.
he had your hands locked behind your back, using them to tug you backwards onto his leaking dick as he threw his head back. the best part about him being such a skilled shinobi is that he had plenty of stamina.
slick was dripping down your thighs, and he'd already fucked you through your first orgasm. his fingers were pressing hard against your skin where he was gripping you, jaw clenching as he felt his own climax approach.
suddenly he was pressing you down against the desk, arching your back with one hand and setting an all new pace as he drilled into you. in moments, you were gushing around him, nearly screaming as he brushed you g-spot until he was pumping his load into you, cum dripping down your shaking thighs.
KONAN
konan's bare breasts were pressed against your back, nipples hard against your skin as she fingered you from behind.
she was determined to make you squirt for the third time today, tears already dripping down your cheeks as you jerked from the sensitivity of your aching cunt. you couldn't help arching into her hand, desperately seeking your orgasm.
the sheets under you were soaked in your cum, and konan's fingers were sticky with your slick from fingering you non stop. her other hand reached around your stomach as she began thrusting her fingers faster.
the other hand flicked at your clit, circling and pressing hard as you sobbed in pleasure. you came again, crying out as the intense sensation made you eyes roll back.
HIDAN
hidan's obnoxious laugh made you want to cry, choking on kakuzu's cock in your mouth and he fucked you harder from behind. he was so sure you were into kakuzu enough that he invited him into a threesome, not the kakuzu minded.
his fingers threaded through your hair, the tugging making your eyes rolling back as you swallowed around his thick cock. "just like that slut. couldn't live with just one cock fuckin' you, huh? had to have two."
your jaw went slack as hidan kept up his bruising pace, paying no mind to the increasing volume of the hums you could get out around kakuzu. hidan's voice reached your ears in the haze of the moment.
"gonna cum in you, then watch kuzu fuck my cum back into your cunt. show him how good you take it whore."
KAKUZU
kakuzu was still counting money in the corner of the room, paying no mind to you as you writhed on the bed, bound by long tendrils stretching from his form. two skinnier ones alternated thrusting into your pussy, another flicking your clit.
this was your punishment, for forgetting to pick up one of his bounties. no big deal, he could always get some other quick cash, but there was no way he was letting you off easy.
"kakuzu.. please!" you were so close to the edge it hurt, but he never let you cum. not for the past half hour you'd been tied with your hands above your head.
his eyes flicked lazily to you, gaze dark as a smirk slid onto his face. with a chuckled he sent another tendril your way, watching it slide around your neck.
"shut up, i have to restart now."
DEIDARA
long blonde hair brushed against your shoulders as your eyes rolled back, deidara's hand on your shoulder holding you up as he pushed his cock past your walls.
he'd made a bet with hidan that he could fuck you till you cried, and he was sure to deliver. you were in tears after the first orgasm, after he ate your pussy out the way he knew best. and another bet later, now he was determined to fuck you till he couldn't cum anymore.
hidan was sitting directly in front of you at the edge of bed in his own chair, cock pulled out of his pants, leaking from the tip. he'd been barking orders all night, telling deidara where to touch, cum, how to fuck you and your mouth properly. if you didn't hate hidan so much, you might've thanked him for the advice, because you were getting your brains fucked out.
he stood from his spot, coming close and grabbing your jaw roughly, watching you gaze up at him through hazy eyes. then he was spitting into your open mouth, watching you flinch and moan and deidara fucked you faster as he sat back down and enjoyed the show.
SASORI
sasori was quick to attach as many strings as he wanted to your limbs, controlling you just the way he wanted, his own personal fuck doll. he'd watched you finger yourself, fuck yourself with whichever synthetic cock he chose, and now he was watching you choke down his own.
he had all the power, and he knew it got you off too. never having to worry that pretty, empty head about having to do any work. he might as well keep you with his other puppets, if that's all you were good for.
a groan left his mouth as you choked around him, swallowing and moaning at the way he filled your throat.
when he looked back down at you, one of his puppets leaning against the wall caught his attention. his newest, and by far the biggest he'd built. he rung his fingers in your hair and pulled you off his cock, petting your face as you gasped for air.
"get up. we're doing something new."
OBITO
"what the fuck were you doing? huh? think you can run off to some other man?"
you were sobbing into the pillows, back aching as obito pounded into you. it hurt, so so good. he was using you however he wanted, you were his stress relief, but that didn't mean you could get away with whoring yourself out to the akatsuki. not that you actually did, he was just a jealous freak when it came to you.
he reached around your shoulders and leaned down, sweaty chest pressed against your back as he got close to your ear, nearly growling as he spoke.
"you remember no one will ever fuck you like this. you're fucking mine."
KISAME
one of kisame's ultimate fantasies was to let him hunt you down in the water, a predator-prey type situation. you always worried he'd take it too far, maybe hurt you, accidentally drown you. as his thick cock slid into your pussy for the first time that night, warm water lapping at your skin, his hands holding you tight against him, you couldn't help but wonder why you waited so long.
while he'd pulled you to a quiet shore of a hidden cove, you were worried you were still too loud, that the world would hear.
kisame's shark teeth grazed your shoulder as he let out a shuddering breath against your skin, feeling your nails dig into his back. the feeling of his razor sharp teeth made you nearly freeze with terror, but you tightened around him as your body tingled.
"hope you can handle a little blood."
ITACHI
as much as you wanted itachi to trap you in an endless sex fantasy with a genjutsu, he was a much more gentle lover. not that you minded, he always made sure your needs were more than fulfilled.
he was taking his time lapping up your pussy, sucking and kissed and tonguing wherever he could reach. he lived for the feeling of your hips bucking into his mouth, fingers gripping his hair from the overwhelming pleasure he gave you.
he knew you so well, listened to your breathing and the volume of your moans, hearing them get more high pitched as you neared your orgasm.
"come on pretty girl, let me take care of you."
<3 <3 <3
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Hᴏᴡ ⵊ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇ Aᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴋɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅʀᴇss ɪʀʟ
Nᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
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Deidara - Dresses like an Edgar who does art. I js know he has those shiny ass belts and pants to his fuckin knees. First photo is canon, it’s the first post on his Insta. His closet is black and white, and he never leaves the house without the gold chain.
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Itachi - He likes sweaters and baggy jeans or sweatpants. I feel like he gravitates more towards dark colors, specifically dark reds, blues, browns and blacks. Also he likes gray sweatpants 😏. He wears minimal silver jewelry so just thin rings and one or two necklaces. When it gets hot he just wears short sleeves (a lot of white tshirts)
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Hidan - Button ups and and jeans. The way he dresses kinda gives dad vibes but he doesn’t care bc it’s easy and put together without looking super formal. This man also doesn’t get cold so in the winter he might throw on a think jacket but usually he sticks with short sleeves.
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Konan - Business casual chic, typa look. Like Pein, she knows she's important and wants to look the part. I can see her wearing lots of blacks and whites, but she likes to throw in fun colors (esp purples) and accessories as well. She's so pretty
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Kisame - He loves turtle necks omgg! Matches them with dress pants and a thin belt. Like Itachi he likes darker colors. Heavy on the black and navy blue clothing though. He also likes more fitted shirts. It makes him look put together but casual all the same and he likes that, also makes him look hot which he likes as well
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Sasori - His outfits are pretty casual, just jeans, a plain colored shirt (sometimes his shirt will have design but if it does its subtle), and a jacket. Always a jacket, he doesn't leave the house without one. His favorite is this red jacket that matches the color of his hair perfectly. Silver necklaces and simple silver rings.
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Pein - Always dressed for business. He's a suit and tie guy 24/7 typa guy, but sometimes he'll take of his suit jacket and unbutton a button or two on his shirt and loosen his tie and jesus does he look goodddd. He also wears silver rings, however his are 100% real silver
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Tobi - Colorful cyber y2k. He can match any color together and make it look good, its insane. Likes blingy ass belts and has his ears pierced (they got infected within two weeks of getting them done because he didn’t take care of them properly). Very fun fits overall!
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ladykissingfish · 1 year
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*at Hidan’s funeral*
Deidara: I can’t believe he actually died, hm. 
Kisame: Indeed; never would have thought it possible.
Pein: Kakuzu, how are you holding up?
Kakuzu: I’m alright. This is all very unnecessary, by the way. He’ll be fine.
Konan, putting a hand on Kakuzu’s shoulder: Kakuzu, I know it’s hard to accept, but …
Sasori: I examined him at least twenty times. No pulse, no heartbeat, no breathing. Has not moved or opened his eyes in two weeks. He’s gone.
Kakuzu: He’s just tired. All he needs is some motivation to get up and moving again.
The others: *exchange worried glance*
Kakuzu: But since you’re all set on going on with this spectacle … *leans down and puts a bouquet of daisies on Hidan’s coffin*
Itachi: Those are very nice. I’m sure he would have —
Hidan: *suddenly kicks the lid of the coffin off*
Hidan: Daisies? Fucking daisies?! Not only the cheapest flower you can buy, but the one I’m allergic to?! That’s how much respect you have for me, old bastard?? I oughta kill you and then YOU can be the one laying in this damn cheap pine box! I —
Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan and embraces him* Welcome back, brat. I’ve missed you.
Kakuzu: *holds up a check* I collected on your life insurance; let’s go out to dinner, your treat. The rest of you are welcome to join us if you —
Hidan: … I think they fainted, ‘Kuzu.
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writeformesinpie · 2 years
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A Cookie Club
Chapter Five:  Blue Bubbly
Akatsuki x Fem!Reader
Word Count - 1.4k
Genre - Crack/Harem
Summary -
Somehow you’ve found yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place - Obito is the rock and Sasori is the hard place. Damn, you could really go for a drink about now. 
The Reverse Harem Crack Fic where you end up on wacky adventures with the Akatsuki who have all made it their mission to get in your pants. Who will win your heart?
Warnings -
Eventual smut, suggestive, slow burn
<Chapter One> <Previous Chapter> <Next Chapter>
A Cookie Club Masterlist
Anime Masterlist
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   “What happened? Are you okay, Hidan?” You leaned down, brushing your hand across his slicked-back silver hair, offering up your arm as you dragged him to his feet. “What were you guys doing?”
   “Just messing around. No big deal,” he stuttered, glaring at Pain before bringing his lips to your wrist. “Thank you for your concern.”
   “Just a quarrel between friends, Reedie.” Pain glared down at Hidan, his lip curling as he watched the bleeding man paw at you. Pain clenched his fists into balls as fire fumed from behind his violet eyes.
   “Reedie?”
   “Yeah, mhm.” Deidara looked from Hidan’s swelling face to Pain’s bleeding fist. “Reedie.”
   “It’s our adorable nickname for our adorable new club member,” Obito said, having found his way behind you, now whispering in your ear, his hand on the small of your back.
   “Oh? Okay,” you scoffed, a nervous smile touching your lips. “You guys are too much.”
   “Reedie?” Konan rolled her amber eyes at the glares shooting her way before leaning her head against your shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. It is a cute name.”
   “Of course it is, it was my idea after all. But what the hell took you so long?” Pain raised his eyebrow as he wedged himself between you and Hidan.
   “We took the scenic route,” she said with a laugh, her amber eyes wandered across your skin as she placed a finger to her pouted lips before turning to Pain with a wink.
   “I asked you what took so long,” he growled, pulling her aside. “What do you think you are doing? Didn't I tell you to stand down?”
   “Stand down? What am I, a dog?!”
   The pair continued to bicker in the doorway, Hidan and Deidara adding random quips from beside them. With all the attention on the heated discussion, no one noticed Obito sliding his hand down your back, his other hand circling your chest as he pulled you back into the shadows under the marble stairs. Your eyes widened with a gasp, “Tobi, what-”
   “Shh. Let me take you to another world,” he whispered, fingertips caressing your lips as his tongue danced along your neck. You opened your mouth to protest, which allowed soft lips to meld with your own, silencing your refusal. The hand you had placed against Obito’s chest to distance yourself was now at the base of his thick hair, used for leverage to bring him closer to deepen the kiss. Your eyes flickered open as a soft moan exited your lips. You shouldn't do this. The hungry look in Obito’s eyes flooded your body with heat as you backed up, trapping yourself against the wall.
   “We should… The others... We need to go back,” you panted, eyes searching the room for something, anything other than the charming man in front of you. Flustered bewilderment dripped from every pore as you pleaded to be released. Obito smiled before pulling your head back by your hair. He stared at your face for a moment before crushing his lips against your own. You closed your eyes, desire taking over once more as you wrapped your arms around the Uchiha in desperation. When you woke up this morning, having a make-out session with Obito had to have been the last thing on your mind, yet here you were, sucking on his tongue, feeling weak in the knees. What am I doing? What am I, a schoolgirl? Weak in the knees? Snap out of it!
   “Reedie,” he purred, his lips sliding against your neck before he nibbled on your ear. The sensation shot intense pleasure through every joint in your body. You had forgotten to tell him your real name. Hell, Obito’s technique was enough to make you forget your own name.
   You bit your lip to keep from crying out when a soft voice came from your left. “What are you guys up to?”
   “Whoa,." You pushed Obito away from as you turned to the redhead mere inches away from you. “Sasori? How long have you been standing there?”
   “Sometime around, ‘Let me take you to another world.’ Seriously Reedie, I didn't think you were the type to fall for something so cliché,” he chuckled, his blank, brown eyes glanced at you from the side with a glint of interest as he leaned against the wall, his face in shadows.
   “Well, that is. I mean, the way this looks. It isn't quite…” You mumbled, pink spreading across your face and touching your ears.
   “Go on, explain it to me." Sasori sauntered to your side before slouching next to you, resting his head on your shoulder, “Details are welcome.”
   “But- I didn't-” Flustered, you swallowed hard as you noticed the two men had a hold of one arm each, their eyes filled with something you couldn't pinpoint, but whatever it was, it made you shuffle your feet back and forth with unease. How did you always find yourself in these situations? “We really should get back.”
   “Yo, what are you two doing?” Your face lit up upon seeing the knowing smile on the bulky man's face as he stood with his arms hanging from the stairs he was holding onto. He towered over the three of you. This was the man the team had told you about. He was the person that lived in this extravagant house. “Don't believe we’ve been formerly introduced. The name’s Kakuzu.”
   “Kakuzu?”
   “What did you do to her?” He chuckled, taking your quivering hand and pulling you away from the snarling pair. “Come this way, I have something to calm your nerves.”
   Obito and Sasori followed behind as Kakuzu led you through a doorway to a built in bar. It was dim, the lights casting shadows over the woodwork as you climbed onto a stool followed by the rest of the club members who had noticed the commotion. Obito and Sasori sat on either side of you, the others crowding behind as you all watched Kakuzu gather ingredients from behind the bar. “So? What's your poison?”
   “Oh... Something blue?”
   “Blue?” Kakuzu rolled his eyes as he rummaged through the drawers, turning his back as he created the beverage. “Blue? You're lucky I even have vodka, let alone something blue.”
   “Thanks!” You beamed up at the tall, tanned man in appreciation as he slid the bubbling, blue drink towards you. You could hear the bubbles pop! as you brought it to your lips.
   “I don't think you should drink that, Reedie…”
   “Why not?” You wiped the back of your hand across your mouth after gulping the drink down with a giggle, “Another, barkeep!”
   “What is it?”
   “It’s vodka.”
   “So, a Blue Lagoon?” Deidara questioned as he eyed the refill with suspicion. “A Blue Hawaiian? Midnight Kiss?”
   “It’s just vodka. Vodka and paint- uh, food dye.”
   “Did you just say paint?!” Pain glared over the counter, his hands on the rosewood bench.
   “No, I said food dye. It's seriously just vodka, I don't know why she likes it so much,” Kakuzu sneered at the orange-haired man as he slid you a third drink.
   “So is it an Electric Lemonade?” You twirled a finger in the buzzing liquid, staining your finger blue as you savored the concoction on your lips. “Hawaii Five-O? Or… no, a blue mermaid!”
   “Woah, Reedie, you know your alcohol.”
   “Hmm? Those are real drinks? I just thought they sounded cool,” you slurred, twirling your finger for another.
   “I told you it's not a cocktail. It's just vodka.”
   “Is it Holy Water?”
   “Blue Valium?”
   “Sex In The Driveway? I want to try that.” Hidan winked at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. You blushed and attempted to wink back but just kept closing both eyelids. After the fifth attempt, you gave up and went back to the drink.
   “Maybe it's a Blue Shark Attack?”
   Kisame rolled his eyes at his companion. “Too mainstream, Itachi. It has to be a Kinky Blue Ocean.”
   “It’s fucking vodka, you imbeciles!”
   “Well, let me try it,” Deidara murmured in your ear as he reached around your waist to grab the glass. He took a single swig before he began to gag. “Good God! What is that?! It's strong. It's awful. How can you drink that?”
   “It’s amazing! Well, since Kakuzu won't give you a name, I will,” you said with a sigh, waving your hands over the dubious ‘drink’ that was more akin to a toxin than a cocktail. Smiling at the strange, waxy cerulean beverage, you giggled, “I dub thee… Blue Bubbly!”
   “You're a lush, aren't you, Reedie?”
   “Blue Bubbly,” you gurgled before slumping onto the hardwood counter.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this content! If you did, please consider liking, commenting, reblogging and/or following, and check out my masterlist for similar content. Have a great day!
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aceopmari · 2 years
Text
The Akatsuki React to You Secretly Throwing a Party at the Hideout
Akatsuki Masterlist
A/N: I had this concept planned out months ago with more ideas and stuff. Wish I wrote this sooner but I had so many other ideas I want to do first. Wanted to get this finally out the way so sorry if it comes off boring.
TW: Substance abuse, explicit. Minors DNI 18+
Akatsuki Baddie Taglist: @ppg-artss @lovelygeniegirl1012 @mercymccann @kakeisumire @aoi-ajisai @mechmoucha
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You sat down on the couch with Hidan and Deidara one night at the base. The three of you were tired of the excessive missions with little to know downtime.
Fortunately this weekend, the three of you would be getting time off from missions while everyone else in the Akatsuki would be out.
You each thought it it would be the perfect opportunity to plan out a secret small gathering at the base with a few old friends.
“Okay so we got food, music, and guest settled,” you began.
“Deidara you’ll be bringing 3 of your friends from the Explosion Corps, I’ll be inviting 3 old buddies from the black market, and Hidan will be bringing in 3 fellow Jashinists. That should be a total of 9 guests,” you say.
“Actually…” Hidan said with a sly grin. You turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “‘Actually?’” Hidan snickered as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…I may have mentioned our little secret party to a few honeys…”
You look at him incredulously. “Hidan! You didn’t!” Hidan chuckled. “I did, babe! Called all 7 of them,” Your cheeks flushed a bit at the nickname. Deidara’s eyes lit up. “Sounds good to me, hm.”
You groaned as you rolled your eyes, seeing that you were outnumbered. “Fine we’ll have 16 guests max! But that’s it!” You warned.
Hidan grinned. “Alright! This party is gonna be wild!” You glared at him. “Shh! It’s not a party it’s an intimate get-together!”
“Never mind that,” Deidara said as he snaked an arm around your waist. You shuddered at the contact as Deidara brought his lips to your ear. “What will we do for entertainment? I was thinking we could do some explosive fireworks~” he says huskily.
You wiggled out of his grasp as your cheeks flushed a deeper red. He chuckled at that as you turned to glare at him. “No fireworks, Dei! We can’t risk blowing up the base and getting caught!” Deidara groaned. “Fine…”
The weekend finally came. Your 14 guests had all arrived for the small gathering. It started off normal with a few drinks. Things got a little wild after Hidan brought out his famous ‘Jashinist Jungle Juice’ that you were stupid enough to drink. You passed out for awhile.
The next thing you knew, you were running around the base, clad in an Akatsuki themed playboy bunny outfit.
You stared in horror at the crowd of thousands of people partying under the flashing lights at the hideout to loud music that was shaking up the base.
“I DIDN’T INVITE THESE PEOPLE! WHO ARE THEY?!” You cried.
You saw in the far distance that many more people started pouring in. “Shit!” You rushed over to the door to try and stop them.
“Babe! Looking good!” You heard. You stopped in your tracks and saw a shirtless Hidan on the dance floor, splashing cash on strippers that were performing in front of him.
You growled as you stormed over to him. “Hidan! What the hell?! I thought we agreed only 14 people!”
“I know babe, I know. But word got around and shit,” he said sheepishly. “No shit, Hidan! There’s like 10,000 people in here!” You hissed.
Your eyes darted to the dancing strippers on the small little stage. You stared at them incredulously. “How the fuck did strippers get here?!”
“Isn’t it great? Why don’t you get up on stage and shake that ass for me? You’re already dressed up!” Hidan chuckled as he tossed some cash at your feet.
You narrowed your eyes at him. “That’s not even your money is it?” Hidan grinned. “Nope! This shits, Kakuzu’s!” You glared at him. “Hidan, get rid of all these people! We’ll get in so much trouble if we get caught!”
“Fuck that! I’m having the time of my life with these bitches!” Hidan laughed. You groaned. “You little shit! Where’s Deidara anyway?”
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
“HEY! DID YOU GUYS SEE MY ART?!” Deidara said loudly.
You heard the sounds of cheering and turned to see Deidara standing on one of the large statued palms above the audience. He was using his clay to detonate them and make small fireworks in the air, causing the base the shake a bit.
“Shit!” You cry. You high jump towards the platform and land next to him. “Deidara what the hell are you-?”
You stopped mid sentence when Deidara turned to you. His eyes were red and he had a overly happy smile on his face.
You sweatdropped. “Are you high?!” Deidara chuckled. “Don’t just stand there, hm.” He turns you around and pulls you towards his chest causing you to yelp. Deidara then grabs your hips. “Let’s dance~!”
Deidara then started grinding his hips against yours. “Deidara! What the hell are you-MMM!” You mewled when you felt something hard and thick press against your ass.
‘Is he…hard?’ You thought. You blushed as Deidara snickered into your ear while he continued to grind against you.
Your eyes fluttered shut as you took in the sensation before you started moaning. You found yourself slowly rolling your hips against his crotch, almost forgetting why you were confronting Deidara in the first place.
That was when you heard the sound of crows flying around you. You immediately opened your eyes seeing Itachi appear before you and Deidara. He didn’t look too pleased if his sharingan eyes boring into you was anything to go by.
“Itachi!” You cry as you pull away from Deidara’s grasped. You started shaking a bit nervously as you widened your eyes in horror. “Wh-what are you doing here?! I-I thought you were on a missio-?”
You stopped mid sentence when Itachi slowly and menacing approached you. “Because of your selfishness, you exposed our hideout, Y/N…” You shuddered as you slowly backed away nervously. Of course Itachi had to sound too sexy even when he’s threatening.
Deidara immediately jumped between you two, chuckling loudly. “Don’t be such a party pooper, hm!” Deidara then pulled out some rainbow colored treats from his pocket and shoved it in Itachi’s mouth. “Have some candy!”
Itachi gagged a bit as he swallowed the candy whole. His sharingan eyes kept spinning out of control. Deidara chuckled at the sight while you go into a state of panic.
“Deidara! Did you just feed him edibles?!”
You and now sober Deidara watched from below as Itachi sang ‘DREAMIN ON’ on top of giant hands, microphone and all. He was so good at singing that he even got many fangirls from the crowd to sing along too.
Itachi: Fumidase yūki no i i ho!
Itachi and Fangirls: DREAMIN’ ON!
Itachi: Mugendai no chizu hiroge chikai atsumeta hata tatakaitsuzuketeiuku “jibun jishin” tsuranuke...
Itachi: Tsukami toru DREAMINNN ON!
Itachi: Makerarenaiiii!
Fangirls: WHOA!
Itachi: Nige ya shinaiii…
Fangirls: WHOA!
Itachi: Deai wakare koe ikou! Zenbu takaramonoooo!
You and Deidara sweatdropped at his perfect performance. You were both very envious of his singing talents. “Damn Uchiha’s…” you say bitterly. “You can say that again…” Deidara sighed.
You turned to him. “Deidara, it will only be a matter of time before until the drug wears off Itachi! We need to get rid of all these people now!”
Deidara looks at you incredulously. “No way! These people all appreciate my art! It’s been so long since others have given me this must recognition, hm!”
You growled. “Deidara! Put your damn pride aside and help me! I don’t want to get in trouble! If Leader finds out, we’re screwed!”
Deidara pulled out some clay from his pouch and started forming a mold. “Well then you better figure something out, Y/N.” He makes a hand seal causing a giant clay bird to appear in front of him.
“Later, beautiful!” Deidara says as he hops on the bird. It then flies over the crowd. “DEIDARA GET BACK HERE!” You cry out.
CRASH!
You whip your head behind you and push through the crowd as you search for the source of the noise. As you do so, you scold the guests for any wrongdoings.
“Put that kunai away!”
“‘Scuse me!”
“Eat with chopsticks!”
You finally made it out of the crowd and stop dead in your tracks, seeing Suigetsu relaxing in a large hot tub. When he catches your glance, he smirks showing off his sharp teeth as he wiggles his eyebrows playfully at you.
You stare at him in disbelief. “What is my ex doing here?!” Suigetsu chuckles. “Oh c’mon babe, I’d never miss a party like this!”
“How did you even find this place?! You’re not even an Akatsuki!” You exclaim. “Yeah I am! See?” Suigetsu points to an Akatsuki hoodie that’s hanging on a coatrack near the tub. You sweatdrop. “Since WHEN?!”
Suigetsu grins as his eyes scans your curves. “By the way, I’m loving the bunny getup. You gonna do a little dance for me, Sweetheart!” You narrowed your eyes at him. “No…”
Suigetsu laughs. “Oh c’mon! At least come in the tub and skinny dip with me. Y’know like the old days?” He purrs with a suggestive smirk.
Your cheeks flushed as naughty memories fill your mind. You shake it off and glare at Suigetsu. “See? This is why we broke up!”
“There you are Suigetsu!” You heard.
A woman with red hair and glasses stormed up to Suigetsu who stared at her wide eyed in shock.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” The red haired woman barked at him. Suigetsu blinked. “Who invited you, Karin?!”
You raised up your hands in disbelief. “Who invited EITHER of you?!” Karin turns to glare at you. “Are you the tramp who threw this Akatsuki party!”
You glare back. “It’s not their party it’s MY party! And it’s not a party it’s an intimate get together!”
“And who are you calling a tramp?! At least I didn’t dye my hair with used tampons!” Karin gasped in shock before growing angrily at you as she adjusts her glasses. “E-excuse me?!”
Suigetsu howled in laughter at the sight. “Man this party is wild!” Karin directed her glare back to him. “Suigetsu I look away for one minute and you’re out here partying with hussys?! Wait til I tell Sasuke!”
“Sasuke’s already here!” Suigetsu says with a smirk. You are Karin widen both of your eyes. “WHAT?!”
“THERE YOU ARE ITACHI!” You heard a voice say over the loud speaker. You widen your eyes. “No…”
You, Karin, and Suigetsu then to see Sasuke clashing swords with a clearly intoxicated Itachi who was drunkenly fighting back (although still being a formidable opponent).
The spotlight shone on both fighters as the crowd cheered them on. The impact of their blades shook up the base more and more. You grabbed your hair as you stared at them in horror. “No NO NOOOO!”
Karin rushed through the crowd as she raced for Sasuke. You glared at Suigetsu. “This is all your fault!”
Suigetsu gave you another smirk before pumping up a fist in the air.
“HIDAN AND DEIDARA’S PARTIES RULE!”
“YEAHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd cheers.
You were getting fed up as the music started to change.
Y/N: First of all its not a party! But If it were a party, it would not be THERE party! It would be MY party!
Party guests: Y/N PARTY! Y/N PARTY!
Y/N: It’s not a party it’s an intimate get together!
Party guests and Akatsuki: Y/N PARTY! Y/N PARTY!
Y/N: DON’T CALL IT THAT! IT’S JUST A GET TOGETHER!
Party guests and Suigetsu: Y/N PARTY! Y/N PARTY!
You hadn’t even noticed that you started dancing to the music. Suigetsu nodded in approval as he chuckled. “Damn lady, you sure can dance!”
You stopped dancing and growled at Suigetsu as he laughs at your face. “I hate you…” you hissed. Suigetsu gave you a dreamy smile. “I loveeee you~” he sang playfully.
“Fuck you!”
“Well alright! Get in the tub with me, Sweetheart!”
“You’re sick, Suigetsu…”
“Oh c’mon! No one will notice!”
You shook your head in disbelief. You then take notice of the music change. You turn to the stage to see Sasori DJing.
You widened your eyes. “SASORI?! How did he-? When did-?!” You stopped and listen to the music. ‘He’s really good…you think you know someone…’
Sasori’s eyes met yours from afar. He gives you a dreamy smile before he shoots you a wink. You blushed. ‘Did he just wink at me?’
You saw from below the stage that multiple colored smoke shot out from below. Deep purple smoke also shot out from a wooden like canister that knocked out the party guests that were the closets to the stage.
You sweatdrop. ‘Okay so he’s clearly poisoning the party guests to turn them into puppets, right?’
“WHO’S BEEN SPENDING ALL MY MONEY?!” You heard. You turned to the source and shrieked seeing Kakuzu storm in. “Oh shit!”
Kakuzu heard this and instantly rushed over to you. Before you could do anything, Kakuzu grabbed you by the collar and held you up in the air.
“WHO TOLD YOU TO SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON A PARTY?!” He roared. You shook your head rapidly as panic fills you. “I-I-I didn’t!”
Kakuzu brought out his tendrils towards you. “You’ll pay with your life!” You widened your eyes in horror. “NOOOO!”
“LINE UP BITCHES! THE GAMBLING TOURNAMENT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN! PLACE YOUR BETS ON WHO WILL WIN THE FIGHT! ITACHI OR SASUKE?!” You heard.
You and Kakuzu turned seeing Hidan standing on top of a large table with a bunch of strippers holding a wad of ryo. Multiple party guests that surrounded them started placing their bets on the ongoing fight between the two brothers.
Kakuzu widened his eyes. “A gambling tournament?!” With a loud thud, Kakuzu drops you onto the ground, before making his way over to Hidan’s table.
“Kakuzu! I figured you’d show up!” Hidan laughs. “Shut up. I’m here to place my bet,” Kakuzu said.
You groan and rub your head as you slowly hit up. “Owww…”
‘Okay so at least I know that Kakuzu won’t snitch if moneys involved…’ you thought. You turn your attention towards the door seeing more guests pouring in. ‘I got to close it before anymore people show up!’
You race towards the door on the other side. That was when a large sword wrapped in bandages stabbed the ground in front of you, causing you to jump back as you yelped.
You turned around and widened your eyes seeing Kisame glaring down at you as he held his sword. “You’ve got a lot of nerve throwing a party at our base, newbie,” he snarled.
“K-K-Kisame…” you shrunk back as Kisame towered over you. Of all the members of the Akatsuki besides Kakuzu, Kisame intimidated you the most. At the same time however, he was kind of cute.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tell our leader about this,” he hissed. You smiled sheepishly. “B-because you ain’t no snitch?” Kisame narrowed his eyes at you. Wrong answer. Now you were screwed.
“Yo Kisame! I’ve been looking all over for ya!” You heard a familiar voice say. You and Kisame turned to see Suigetsu walking towards you both in just his swim shorts and his sword.
Kisame broke into a grin. “Well if it isn’t Suigetsu. I wasn’t expecting to see you here…” Suigetsu chuckled. “Didn’t think you were the party type either. But since your here, why don’t we have a quick match to see who’s worthy of Shark Skin!”
And that was all it took for Kisame and Suigetsu to go at it and engage in battle. More things shattered as the hideout shook.
“PLACE YOUR BETS BITCHES! KISAME OR SUIGETSU! WHO WILL WIN?!” Hidan announced.
Karin slapped her money on the table. “Suigetsu! You better not lose!”
“Double on, Kisame. He always wins,” Kakuzu says cooly as he sets his money down.
The crowd cheered as they watched the two swordsmen duke it out. Your face went blue as you sweatdropped. “I think I just lost braincells…”
“You should relax and enjoy yourself, Y/N,” a mature womanly voice said. You turned around and saw that it was none other than Konan.
Her purple hair was down and she was clad in a tight black minidress. Men surrounded her as she danced to the beat. Your jaw dropped.
“KONAN?!”
She giggled in a way that caught you off guard. “Nagato would never let me have a party. This was a very great idea, Y/N. Thank you,” she winked.
You blushed a bit. “Y…you’re welcome…” Konan brought a hand towards you. “Care to dance?” You smiled nervously as you wave your hands. “N-no thanks…”
Konan smiles before continuing to dance for the men as they through money at her. Your eyes can’t help but fall to her curves. ‘She has a really nice body…why does she hide it?’
You shake off before heading back towards the door to lock it. “There! Now no one should be able to come in now!”
‘Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of these people…’ You thought.
“This is for calling me a tampon, you tramp!” You turned around seeing Karin behind you with a syringe. Before you could do or say anything, she injected you with the syringe causing you to scream.
Your mind became fizzy as your brain starts to fog up. You close your eyes and shake your head. “What the fuck?!”
You opened your eyes seeing how the room appeared more colorful than before. You saw music notes flying in the air while some the party guests appeared to be floating on top of it
You widened your eyes. “What the fuuuuuck?” You slurred. You took a few steps, swaying as you moved.
Your body became light and you appeared to be floating mid air for a few seconds. With each step you took, the floors became as soft as marshmallows.
The dopamine affect filled your brain as your lips broke into a grin. “This feels kinda good…” You chuckled as you took in the sight of the party guests.
Suigetsu and Kisame were using their swords to surf on the waves that were in the air while Itachi and Sasuke happily frolicked through the crowd while holding hands.
You saw Kakuzu tossing his money in the air like confetti to the many strippers around him. You immediately frowned feeling a migraine. “I don’t feel so gooood…” you slurred as you sway walked towards Hidan’s table.
You saw how Hidan was spraying rainbow colored liquid at guests from a champagne bottle. You fell right in front of Hidan when you tripped.
Hidan looks down at you in confusion. “Y/N?” You raise your hand towards him helplessly. “Hi….dannn helppp meeee,” you slurred. Hidan smirked at you. “Ya want some too babe? Here!”
You opened your mouth to say something, but Hidan already shot alcohol into your mouth from the bottle. You gagged in your mouth a bit before swallowing the hot and spicy liquid.
You stood up and coughed as your vision became even hazier. You looked up and saw a naked Deidara hanging onto the legs on a giant clay bird that was flying over the crowd.
He then let go and immediately plummeted into the hot tub. You widened your eyes in horror.
“DEIDARA! I’LL SAVE YOU!”
As a result of the drugs, you mustered the strength and pushed through the crowd of people. You finally made it over to the rainbow colored tub full of pink water and jumped right in.
“I’M COMING DEI DEI!”
SPLASH!
You dove deep into the hot water. From underneath you saw a blonde haired creature with tentacles. You screamed as you flail your arms. You looked above you and saw the surface move higher and higher as you appeared to be sinking downward.
‘What the hell?! Is this an ocean?! Fuck fuck fuck! I can’t swim! I’M DROWNING!’ You mentally screamed as you slowly started losing oxygen.
You then felt a pair of hands grab both your arms and hoist you up and out of the tub. You gasped for air as you coughed out the water.
“Y/N…” a smooth male voice said.
You glanced up and saw that it was none other than Pein, staring down at you coldly with his renagan eyes as he held you.
Your lips formed a sloppy smirk as your eyes hooded. “Hi Daddy~” you squealed. Pein’s eyes narrowed. “Who told you that you could throw a party…?”
“I didddd~” you sang teasingly. Pein squeezed his grip on you causing you to yelp. “And how do you plan on making this up to me and fixing the mess you made?” He asked. You giggled as you batted your eyelashes. “I have an idea or two I think you might like…”
You woke up in your room covered in blankets that night. You gasped as you shot up from your bed. “What the…? It was just a dream?”
“‘Fraid not, Sweetie Cakes~” a familiar voice said playfully. You froze as you widened your eyes. ‘No…’
You slowly turned to your right and saw a naked Suigetsu lying down next to you. He waved at you playfully as he sipped his water bottle.
“What the hell are you doing in my bed?!” You cried. Suigetsu chuckled. “Hey, relax. You were the one who came on to me last night, remember? And man you were wild!”
“I…” you were completely stunned as your cheeks redden. ‘So I really got high last night?’ You thought. You gasped as you remembered the other Akatsuki members. “Oh my god! What about my leader and-?”
Suigetsu snickered. “What do ya mean? You went ahead and came onto everyone! See?” You followed his gazed and gasped seeing all the naked Akatsuki members in your bed sleeping. “I slept with my entire team?!” You shrieked.
Alongside them included Sasuke and Karin who were also naked and in bed sleep. Suigetsu’s eyes lit up as he stared at the latter two. “Surprised you went ahead and fucked my own teammates too! You definitely showed Karin a good time! Maybe she’ll start to loosen up more!”
Your jaw dropped as you stared at Karin who had a silly, dazed smile on her sleeping face like she just had the best sex of her life. Your face was on fire as you stared at both her and Konan. “B-but…but I’m not…”
Suigetsu laughed out loud, making you turn to glare at him. He stopped and smiled as he place his hand on your hip to rub it sensually. “Hey now, don’t sweat it Sweetheart. It doesn’t matter to me which way you swing. I accept ya,” he winks.
You stared at him incredulously as you blinked. Seeing how you didn’t say anything else, Suigetsu leaned up towards you and gave you a kiss on the cheek. His sharp teeth just barely grazing it. It was comforting to say the least.
He brought his bottle towards you. “Wanna sip?” You instantly snatch his bottle and take a long sip in an attempt to cool down before handing Suigetsu back his bottle. He frowned when he shook it. “Hey, you finished it…”
“Get out,” you say. Suigetsu widened his eyes. “What? No breakfast? Can I at least take a yogurt with me?” You glared at him. “I said get out!”
Suigetsu sighed before he got up and got dressed before taking his bottle. “Later~” he waved as he walked out of the room.
You groaned as you facepalmed. “I can’t believe I slept with my own team!” You then sweatdropped. “And I don’t even remember it…”
You then heard the sound of a loud yawn. You turned seeing that it was Hidan. He gave you a lazy smile. “Morning gorgeous!” Deidara groaned. “Keep it down. I’m trying to sleep, hm!”
Hidan chuckled at that before putting an arm around you. “Best party ever, right?” You narrowed your eyes at him before kicking both him and Deidara out of the bed roughly, causing them to hit the floor.
“Owwwwww….” They both groaned in unison.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! The Suigetsu stuff is a bit of a set up because I’m gonna start writing some x reader scenarios with him since no one else seems to give him enough love. Anyways, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!
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jesseevelann · 2 years
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Naruto as Vines but it's my humour: Villian Edition
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solemg · 2 years
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Often, I hear/see the opinion that Nagato is a weak, shy boy who will give everything to his friend Yahiko, just like Konan.
Lol. This is ridiculous. Most simply forgot how Nagato communicated with Konan after the death of Yahiko, forgot that it was he who ruled the Land of Rain with an iron hand for 20 years, despite the terrible physical and mental state.
He is quite an emotionally sensitive person, but between sensitivity and weakness there is a big request, and it is Nagato's becoming the most cruel and merciless of the three that is most logical.
He hate people. True misanthropy.
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Because it was he who killed a man at the age of 10, it was he who put up with a force that he could not control, it was he who doubted the methods of achieving the goal, it was he who survived three wars, saw the deaths of all his loved ones and, although he came down with mind, but did not repent, but only told Naruto that he would try to believe in Naruto. He does not believe Jiraiya - also his words (what means Naruto words)
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You are see pain in his eyes? Pain of absolutely helpless? For precisely helplessness is what such a person will feel. A disabled person, located between giant countries that can attack at any moment, and no matter how strong you are, you will not be able to cope. .and literally the very feeling of helplessness is about Nagato's whole life, even his image of "God", which primarily implies justice.
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Of course, then we see the simplest technique with pressure on guilt. Although it was Jiraiya who was the one who systematically drove Nagato crazy.
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Jiraiya is essentially almost an emotional obsession for Nagato. He is the one who gave Nagato a sense of security and confidence. Guilt, self-disappointment... the classic narcissistic loop brought up in Nagato...
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I really feel sorry for this character
Because he is a good character. He is similar to Tai Lung from Kungfu Panda, Azula from Avatar, Kuvira, but with a much calmer personality. A sort of Oliver Twist and Azula in one bottle 😂.
He is the victim of a bad upbringing. Circle of bad education. It all started with the Third Hokage, and ended with the elderly Jiraiya and Naruto (during the time of the second there were wars, it's hard to blame him). From the age of 10, he was prepared for a specific goal, he was actively pushed to this by the environment (and yes, the dream of ending wars is not Yahiko's dream, Yahiko just wanted to do what he wanted, but Konan ... where the men go and Konan... deity thing too, lol)
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The tragedy of Nagato is not the tragedy of one person losing another, no.
This is the tragedy of someone who every day sees how others around him, innocent of anything, are trampled into the mud, other people's lives and dreams are trampled into the mud. This is real hell on earth.
HE ruled the Land of Rain for 20 years, raised her from her knees, defended her as best she could. And after that, someone will turn his tongue to call him weak?
What is interesting is that even after his death, Nagato did not change his authoritarian habits, Because this is not a request, but an order.
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Speaking of Obito... he's the only one who understands Nagato.moreover, he is extremely careful with his body (even where it is essentially not necessary: ​​careful touches on the chest and arm are clearly not needed), Obito does not offend Nagato, respects him, but he does not put Konan in anything. I think Obito perfectly understands what Nagato's life was like. And what does anyone have, but Nagato's life is like hell.
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/And yet, unfortunately, there is a restriction on the use of pictures, but still we remember Obito's words that Nagato adhered to the "Eye of the Moon" plan?
So, what's the point of lying to Nagato to Obito? None. It makes more sense for him to tell the truth. .which probably means that for some reason of his own, Nagato abandoned the "Eye of the Moon" plan, developed his own (aka MAD), and only in words pretended to obey (which, given the fact that he is a former orphan and is more of a trick, too logical). .
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ONE SHIP CHALLANGE WITH THE AKATSUKI
°•°Hidan•°•
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2K words!
Shoves the whole fucking thing in his mouth, chew as casually as possible till the heat hits his tongue then he starts to chew REAL slow, tears pricking his eyes as his breathing grows ragged.
Finally he would 'swallow' and then let out the most gutteral, and ear peircing screetch as he scrambled to try and wash the nasty and hot ass taste from his mouth as he screams a string of curses
°•°Kakuzu•°•
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Honestly, at first he wouldn't take it too seriously. But at first he would take a huge ass bite and glance at your ear face before chewing slightly. Imidiately his cheeks grow red, nose begins to run dispite his age- he then coughs into he ball of his hand with a hissing inhail.
"It's not hot." He stated bluntly, you just lift a finger to point at his very obviously tear filled eyes.
"Your eyes are waterin-"
"Shut the fuck up."
When you retreat back to your room hands raised in mocking surrender, that man dead ass is hastily making his way to guzzle down anything that might sooth his burning mouth, aching throat, and scorching stomach.
°•°Itachi•°•
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He dead ass thought he could handle the heat. But nope!-
Popped that chip in his mouth and his hands are already flapping, tongue lulling from his mouth as he chants 'HOT' repeatedly with teary eyes.
You thought he would have been way more composed over this but again- you were wrong!-
You hand the man a nice soothing glass of milk to imidiately down as you coo in giggling comfort, voice laced with guilt.
"Are you okay Itachi?" You squeak slightly rubbing comforting circle along the little of his back.
The said man sat hunched forwards, elbows jabbing into his thichs as his head rested in his trembling hands. Breathing having gone ragged as his tongue hung from his mouth as if a panting dog.
"Yeah- yeah I'm fine- just stunned-" he lied.
You pout slightly again handing him the cup of milk to which he took greatfuly.
"I said you didn't have to do it if you didn't want too..." Placing the cup onto the end table next to the furnatures armrest he shook his head.
"If I don't want to do it I wouldn't have aten it. But now I regret it."
°•°Kisame•°•
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Poor man-
You honestly refused to give him the chip in fear of what it would do to his stomach since his body has certain needs and things that he can't ingest due to his shark like appearance and shit.
But!
When you turned your head for just a MOMENT that black chip was already between his teeth. And gone.
You stated at him concerned as his cheeks begin to flush, eyes begin to water, chest raising stutteres and breathing hitches.
Without a sound that shark-man is dashing his way to the kitchen faster than the fitness gram pacer test to seek something- ANYTHING to sooth his aching soul.
°•°Sasori•°•
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"No." And that was final. Door closing in your face as he slithered back to his desk to carve his puppets.
°•°Deidara•°•
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Poor poor boy.
Remember how art is an explosion?
Not this explosion.
This one he fucking HATES with a burning hatred.
Deidara just nipped the corner of that chip- not too bad at first, yes it was spicy but that was just the beginning.
Seeing that the chip wasn't as hot as potrayed- he shoved the whole thing in his mouth with a nonchalant shrug, chewing away.
That was till his movements came to a hault and choked out a stiffled cough.
"You alright Dei?" You questioned, an amused smirk across your smug features.
Deidara trembled slightly before lifting a wavering thumb in false reassurance. "Yea-h I'm fine-" as if on cue he begins to hack violently, shoving his fingers down his throat to rid of the charcoal colored chip that he had so foolishly swallowed. As this was being done he yanked his hand away flapping it wildly as the mouth in his palm began to gape tongue lulling from its place in his hand.
"OW OW OW!" He whimpered, blowing on the snarling feature in his palm that now had the slightest specks of the devil's chip on its skin.
As the blond arsonist cried out in agony you screamed out in utterly laughter, throat growing raw from the large amount of air that left your lungs.
And with that, he- from now on- will make you bite into it first to make sure you didn't sneak a lill' surprise in there.
•°•Pein°•°
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Just like Sasori, he declined your request/demand with much confidence.
•°•Tobi°•°
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THIS POOR MAN-CHILD
HE TRUSTED YOU
"Now Tobi, this is REALLY hot..."
"Tobi can handle it!" He beamed, reaching his grabby hands toward the price of food that you yanked from his reach. Tobi let out a whine in protest as he slumped forwards, resting his weight against your now leaning figure.
You handed him the chip reluctantly before it was snatched form your fingers and downed almost imidiately by the Uchiha.
"(Y/n)-Chan! That was goo-" his sentence was cut incredibly short- stopped with a hissing gasp as his hands began to wave violently from under the cloaks sleeves, you could see the heat in his ears as his face was covered by the orange mask.
You imidiately felt bad as he began to wait in agony, dashing around the hide out as if it were caught ablaze, screeching that his mouth was going to wither away!
You had grabbed the poor man a large glass of milk to sooth his aching tummy.
"Tobi is never going to trust you again..." He spoke, voice hinted with betrayal as you stroked the crown of his head, sweeping back the short black locks of his hair. You snickered slightly at the males words.
"Hey, don't blame me. I warned you and you didn't listen to me. Like a always say- 'curiosity killed the cat'-"
"-But this time satisfaction did NOT bring it back."
•°•Zetsu°•°
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"No thank you (Y/n), Not interested in your stupid little experiment."
"Don't be rude- I don't want to do it."
This went on for too long, so you just walked away.
•°•Konan°•°
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You absolutely REFUSED to give this angel of a woman the chip. You would NEVER harm this absolute love of a dove.
"So, the others have told me about this 'One chip challenge' that you have been doing. I also heard from Pein-sama that you even offered him up for the challenge. But I was curious as to why you haven't offered me yet?" Her voice was soft, a twinge of sorrow tainted her tone. You imidiately hopped form your place on the couch, approaching the emotionally hurt purple-haired tiger-lilly-eyed woman that you adored.
"No no no! Konan, I would never exclude you from anything fun! It's that the chip is really hot and I don't want you getting sick and stuff! I like you too much!" You then explained the meaning behind why you hadn't offered the lady a chip to which she nodded in understanding.
"Awe, (Y/n), your so generous. And I appreciate you telling me because I am honestly not the type who enjoys spicy things like that. It would hurt my stomach. But thank you for saving me the agony, unlike the others."
You snickered nervously.
"No problem Konan!"
______
Unedited
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suvidrache · 1 year
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Are You Okay?
age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.
Word Count: 507 / Read it on AO3 / Wattpad | Event List
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You sat alone in the Hidden Leaf Village. Away from people and away from the city.
You sat on a tree stump, your head in hand as you looked at the grass.
The clouds cover the sun and make it colder and darker in the city.
You had a jacket on and weren't at all bothered by the cold.
It was your favorite spot to go to when you wanted to be away from everyone and everything.
Pain finished the meeting with the Akatsuki and stood outside the mouth of the cave. 
His favorite spot looked like it just might be occupied.
He looked back, seeing the Akatsuki members talking with one another.
He slipped away unnoticed.
The journey would be far. He didn't mind, though. It would be worth it. He didn't want anyone to feel alone in the world. He knew what it was like. He lost both his parents and with no one else; he was forced to care for himself.
He formed the Akatsuki with two fellow orphans, hoping to make the world a better place.
He hated the fighting, the loss, and the pain that it caused.
His footsteps hurried at times and slowly at others. He wanted to make sure you were okay, but doubt crossed his mind. You were just fine. What if you weren't?
His face was emotionless as he came closer to you. Seeing you sitting on the stump, he knelt to be at the same level you were.
"Are you okay?" He asked, as his eyebrows creased with worry.
"I'm fine." You responded. Sitting up, you looked down at him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just come here to be alone at times. People and life can be stressful."
He nodded as he rose and looked down at you. 
"Would you like to hang out?"
You raised an eyebrow as you looked up at him.
"What do you mean?"
He breathed in and looked away before looking at you once again.
"Like spend time together. Go to the movies, hang out with my friends, something so you aren't alone?"
"Oh- sure."
He reached a hand out to you and you took it as he helped you to stand. 
You thanked him and he led you to the Akatsuki cave.
"I'm…" He paused as he looked at you. "Nagato."
"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too."
The Akatsuki had left long ago, but Konan remained. 
He introduced you to her and she to you.
Konan welcomed you with a hug. 
It was through her that you learned more about the Akatsuki and its leader Nagato. He chose to go by the alias of 'Pain' something he knew a lot about, given his childhood.
She, too, had lost her family at a young age and had found Nagato. She saved him and brought him to a place she hid in.
She took the flower from her hair and offered it to you. You smiled and took it, thanking her as you did.
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© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!
Tag list: @phantomheiko / To join my tag list apply here!
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yowyowyaoi · 1 year
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*Kakuzu walks into living room to find Itachi, Tobi, Deidara and Hidan huddled under the giant couch quilt, looking nervous*
Kakuzu: What’s wrong with you guys?
Tobi: Mommy and Daddy are fighting again!
Kakuzu: Mommy and daddy —?
Deidara: Listen, hm. You can hear them!
Kakuzu: *cocks his ear; can very faintly hear what sounds like Konan and Pein arguing*
Kakuzu: So, first of all, and I can’t stress this enough … Konan is not your mother, and Pein is not your father. Second, what goes on between two adults is their own business, not every single person in the house. And —
*Konan comes out of the room, looking annoyed*
Konan: I’m sorry, boys, but Papa said ”No” to each of you getting a puppy for Christmas.
Hidan: That shitty old man! Never lets us have any fucking fun!
Itachi: Are you okay, Mother? We know that arguing with Father puts you in a bad mood …
Kakuzu: Konan. Please tell these boys that you are NOT their —
Konan: *sits down on couch between them all* My children are so sweet … don’t worry, mother will continue to work on father. Perhaps I can talk him into kittens instead.
All four: *hug Konan and cuddle against her*
Pein: *comes out of his room; all four give him death glares*
Kakuzu: Leader … please help correct this mass delusion and tell them that you are not their —
Pein, to the boys: So that’s how it is, eh? Giving the silent treatment to your old man?! You kids always side with your mother, it’s not fair!
Kakuzu:
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succikko-spicy · 11 months
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Compilation - Pein/Konan (alive paths AU)
Pairing: Nagato/Konan Content: Solo lingerie or sexy outfit pics / Domestic and passionate love / matching outfits / soft nsfw for most except the last which is explicit / The 6 paths are alive and are all Nagato AU
I love the 6 paths so I made a dumb AU to justify having them ALL alive + Nagato in his own body, Konan and Yahiko around. Basically one of Konan’s friend (an OC, you might have guessed) tried a ritual to bring back Yahiko but it screwed up with Nagato’s powers so it split his soul in all his body and they’re all alive. Drawback is he can’t reanimate them through his powers now, so he has to be careful. After that the friend tried the ritual again and it worked but so now there’s Tendo and all the other paths who are Nagato and Yahiko around.
Link to full pictures
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Links to individual images under the cut if you're struggling to access them on Squidge
Nagato in Tendo path riding Konan
soft kisses and hair brushing with pein tendo and animal path
Soft kisses and outfit match with animal path
Soft kisses and everyday affection with tendo pein
Soft horny moments with tendo pein
catboy tendo pein flaunting a cute seductive outfit
animal path getting the same treatment minus the cat ears
the girl on a sofa meme with konan and all the peins
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adrunkskeletonsduck · 2 years
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Nᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ
drabbles (d) - oneshots (os) - favorite to write (❤︎︎)
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Headcanons
Hᴏᴡ ⵊ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇ Aᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴋɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅʀᴇss ɪʀʟ
Itachi Uchiha ❤︎︎
Lᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʟᴇssᴏɴs (os)
9:11ᴘᴍ (d)
1:11ᴀᴍ (d)
Kakashi Hatake
“Woe” (os)
9:00ᴘᴍ (d)
5:20ᴘᴍ (d)
9:11ᴘᴍ (d)
12:54 (d)
Shikamaru Nara
9:00ᴘᴍ (d)
5:20ᴘᴍ (d)
12:54 (d
Sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ⵊɴ (os)
Sasuke Uchiha
6:04ᴘᴍ (d)
12:54 (d)
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