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#Pete Bailey
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Nerdy Prudes is so funny, it's like: Local prude Grace Chasity has one (1) sexual fantasy. Six dead, four injured, one driven insane.
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zestysharkwolf · 2 months
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I really like making these
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im-not-a-l0ser · 6 months
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Do they wear a watch? (NPMD)
Richie: Obviously we're starting with him, and yes, he does wear a watch. He used to have a sailor moon watch, a Pokémon watch, a few more anime, but now he just has a black and blue, waterproof digital watch, since those ones were too fragile (ie, people kept breaking them)
Ruth: She has a watch but it's broken. She wears it every day and constantly forgets it's broken.
Pete: Absolutely he does. He has a waterproof analog watch that he has to stare at for at least 30 seconds to read, but he does have it.
Steph: She doesn't have a watch, but she will yank Pete's wrist to read his.
Grace: She generally doesn't wear a watch, but she does wear one to church so that she doesn't have to pull her phone to check the time.
Max: No, but he for some reason keeps looking at his wrist as if he does. Like, he'll pull up his sleeve and everything, and then realise he doesn't wear a watch and has to pull his phone.
Shapiro: She absolutely wears a watch. No explanation needed.
Bailey: He used to wear a watch, but the strap broke after a rough kerfuffle.
Jason: He wants one but forgets to buy one
Kyle: He thinks watches are stupid
Brenda: She has a smart watch
Stacy: She thinks watches are ugly
Solomon: He wears a watch, and so does Miss Tesburger. They make sure they're synced up every week.
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waitingforthet · 7 months
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This comic is, as is usual for Wednesday’s comics, chosen by my Patrons. Speaking of…
Check my Patreon out if you’d like to support the comic, even a little bit helps. Or just to check out the reward tiers, there’s some neat bonus stuff and I tried to make them fun: https://www.patreon.com/waitingforthet
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acmeoop · 7 months
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Animation Art “Runaway Brain” (1995)
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blueautumngrave · 2 months
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In honor of the new music video, here are some country songs I absolutely NEED Patrick to cover:
A Rock And A Hard Place - Bailey Zimmerman
Cowboys And Angels - Dustin Lynch
It Just Come Natural - George Straight
Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves
She’ll Leave You With A Smile - George Straight
Where It Ends - Bailey Zimmerman
I Hope You’re Happy Now - Carly Pearce, Lee Brice (Patrick and Maren Morris duet PLEASE)
Next Girl - Carly Pierce
I Could Use A Love Song - Maren Morris
The House That Built Me - Miranda Lambert
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nade2308 · 5 months
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The kind of rep that I love
@thethistlegirl
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petition to make a live-action scooby-doo with glen powell as fred, halle bailey as daphne, zoe deutch as velma, and pete davidson as shaggy
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beatrack92 · 11 months
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Bailey Golden (Oklahoma State)
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His range need to be study.
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nerds-yearbook · 1 year
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After an academic discussion about the ramifications of trying to benefit from time travel, Peter Corrigan has suddenly found himself transported from 1961 back to April 14th, 1865. Corrigan desperately tries to prevent the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. While his efforts are in vain, thanks in part to the intervention of John Wilkes Booth, when Corrigan does return to the present he finds that he has altered the course of time after all. ("Back There" Twilight Zone, TV)
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demigoddessqueens · 2 years
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I’m in my angsty Imogen/Imodna era with the SNL cast news and ToH tomorrow
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epicadventuresofyuu · 2 years
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Enjoy some slightly out of context memes of my ocs
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jem-jam · 5 months
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will no longer be reblogging stuff for 'two vamps walk into a' here as i have a blog for it now - if you like the vtm/vampiric aesthetic stuff then i'd head to @twovampswalkintoa.
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longlistshort · 1 year
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Xenobia Bailey’s mosaic tile work Morning Stars, 2018, in downtown St. Petersburg, Florida. The work was commissioned by the St. Petersburg Arts Commission.
From the information plaque-
Bailey primarily works in fiber arts, creating crocheted mandalas which consist of colorful concentric circles and repeating patterns. For Morning Stars, Bailey crocheted several mandalas of brightly-colored fiber medium and worked with her fabricators to create the design digitally to be applied as a mosaic design.
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ohtobeleah · 1 year
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I feel so bad for Iris but I want to see her kind of like? admit to Hangman she’s down bad.
I.R.I.S Masterlist
Warnings: Smut!! But a whole lot of tension! Jake Seresin x F!reader. Also: read this little concept from yesterday too.
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Oh. I like this. I like this a lot because maybe, just maybe we start to see Iris show some vulnerability. And maybe, just MAYBE, she shows Jake that she isn’t just in this for the sex after all. Perhaps there’s something a little deeper? 
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“Iris, get him off me!” P:E shouted through the comms as you steadied back. You weren’t showing much interest and Coyote could very much tell. He’d been briefed on the situation at hand, the one where you weren’t to be given points based on performance alone anymore. It had pretty much taken you out of the running, but no one beside Jake knew that you knew. 
“You look fine to me Lieutenant Baileys, I’m gonna swing around—“ 
“Are you fucking kidding me! He’s right on my tail!” It was true, Coyote was—you just didn’t give enough of a shit to help as you left P:E to be gunned down. “Fuck!” 
“That’s a kill—“ Coyote confirmed as the tone signal rang out through P:E’s cockpit. “Better luck next time kid.” Coyote smirked, he knew P:E was lacking in certain skills, his dogfighting skills were just one of the long long list—but Coyote also knew if you’d been there, perhaps P:E could’ve lived a little longer through the exercise. 
“Well if you hadn’t paired me with Iris I’d still be alive!” P:E groaned as he made his way back around to land. “You’d think you’d wanna be a little more of a team player there Iris.” 
“You’d be dead anyway dickhead, you suck ass.” You added, not in the mood to just take the slander Gregg Baileys threw at you. 
“Damn, does that attitude of yours come in mens?” P:E chuckled as you came up beside him, flipping him off. “I could use me some—“ 
“I think you cum in men enough for all of us P:E.” You ended the conversation there as you flew off to the left, coming in to land shortly after. Jake was waiting for you as you taxied down and eventually came to a halt. You tried your best to pretend he wasn’t there, but as you went to walk off he just followed. 
“That was idiotic behaviour Iris—“ Jake mumbled as he followed every step you took. “A blatant disregard for your fellow teammate doesn’t bode well in your favor.” 
“Thankyou for your feedback Lieutenant Commander Seresin I’ll be sure to log it away with everyone else’s opinions I didn’t ask for—“ Things were tense ever since the fight you’d had. You knew where you stood with Jake now. He didn’t want to fuck around with you, he didn’t want anything to do with you, he didn’t wanna get involved at the risk of his own career, he didn’t wanna get involved with Pete Mitchell’s daughter. You got it, you understood—but just because you understood didn’t mean it didn’t sting, especially knowing that every second you spend in the TopGun program was a waste of your time. You didn’t come here to be a part of the herd. You wanted the glory of being the best. “Get off my dick, you’re the one who didn’t want fuck all to do with me, so stop pretending you care and let me handle this the way I feel like I should.” 
“Lieutenant Mitchell!” Jake hissed and you halted your steps. “I don’t appreciate your attitude and I’m sure none of your colleagues do either.” Jake spat as you turned to face him, completely and utterly seething as you held your helmet under your arm and against your hip. “Coyote is yet to grade you, but I’m sure it will only reflect the performance you just gave.”
“Oh good then, at least I know I’d get the same shit grading regardless if I’d tried any harder or even better, not flown at all.” You replied. “Am I dismissed, Sir? I’ve got better things to be doing than standing here wasting my time defending my actions.” When Jake didn’t immediately answer, you turned on your heels, you’d decided his silence was as good as being dismissed. 
“No! No you’re not—“ Jake was pissed, he was pissed because although he said he didn’t want to continue whatever the fuck you guys were doing, he still cared enough about you to want to remain friends. You weren’t interested in that concept by the looks of things and fuck did that piss Jake right off. “See me in Admiral Simpson's office.” 
“Jake!” Your eyes grew wide with shock as you turned back around, closing a little of the gap you’d made as you took strides towards him. “Are you serious!?” 
“I'm serious, you don’t get to act this way, there’s a difference between being a brat in bed and being completely insubordinate to a superior officer.” Jake held his ground as you looked at him completely stunned. There was hurt evident in your eyes as you just remained silent and quiet and all things Jake knew you not to be. “Admiral's office, now.”
“How could you do this?” You asked softly, completely gutted that Jake would do this. Especially after everything that went down in your dads office. Was treating you like a career killer not enough for him? He just had to make sure you knew he had the power to end yours too? An eye for an eye? Was that it? 
“Easily.” Jake lied. He hated the way you looked at him with such anger, such hate. But he had to put you down a peg before you flew too close to the sun. “It’s my job, Lieutenant Mitchell.” 
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It’s later that night when all has been said and all has been done that Jake hears a knock on his door. He’s sure everyones at the Hard Deck, he’d been invited but after having dragged you into Admiral Simpson's office for disciplinary actions, he wasn’t feeling all that up to it. 
But when Jake opened his door to see you standing there? Looking all kinds of beautiful and angry? He was speechless. 
“Iris?” 
“Permission to speak freely sir?” You asked permission through gritted teeth as Jake crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, why the fuck were you on his doorstep. 
“Yeah, I guess?” It didn’t take you more than three seconds to smash your fist against Jake's cheek. Rattling his brain as he stumbled back into his own home groaning from the sudden connection. “Oh my god! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!” Jake shouted as he doubled over, pain radiated through his jaw as you stepped inside, shaking your fist. 
“YOU!” You replied harshly. “You got me a goddamn write up!” You couldn’t help but to hiss venom Jake's way, shoving at his shoulders as he stood up. “You couldn’t let it go? You couldn’t let me be angry and upset that nothing I ever do is good enough or will be good enough because of who my damn dad is!” You shouted, clearly distraught, Jake just stood there and took the brunt of your anger. “I’m not good enough for the Navy, I’m not good enough for TopGun, I’m not good enough at anything and most importantly—“ You paused, took a deep breath as you tried to swing another hook Jakes way. He caught your fist though, mid swing and just held it in the air. Eyeing you off with gritted teeth and angry eyes. “I’m not good enough for you!” 
“What are you talking about?” Jake asked as he frowned with confusion laced in his tone. “Iris? The fuck are you even talking about right now?” 
“I’m the one who can’t look at myself in the mirror because I’m obsessed with someone I’ll never have.” Your voice dropped from something of anger to something of sadness as Jake lowered your fist. “I caught feelings and it’s my own fault and we should never have started this Jake because I can’t stop thinking about you—“ Jake smiled for a brief moment, damn. He’d fallen for the one person that was so unattainable it wasn’t funny. Pete Mitchell’s daughter. And you’d fallen for Jake Seresin, your stupid TopGun instructor. “I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s driving me crazy because I said this wasn’t personal, it was just something sexy and secretive and a fucking fling but I—“ Jake cut you off when he stepped closer and pressed his lips against yours, ducking down to scoop you up and wrap your legs around his waist. You moved in tandem with him, allowing him to pick you up with ease as you complied. 
“You drive me insane you know that?” Jake growled as he pressed you up against the nearest wall he could find. “You’re reckless and irresponsible and naive and have an attitude problem that is far beyond anything I’ve ever seen.” Jake listed off all the things he hated to love about you as he ducked his head to suck at the pulse point on your supple neck. “But If I ever see you flunk out in a training session on purpose again I’ll discipline you myself because you need to show these guys just who they’re fucking with.” 
“How would you discipline me?” You challenged Jake, you didn’t wanna talk about what was going on. You wanted a distraction. “Jake? How would you discipline me?” Jake pushed off the wall he’d had you pressed against as he kissed you again, his time more passionately and with more tongue. 
“I’d keep you on the edge, I’d fuck you dumb just how I know you like it but I’ve never let you cum, I’d keep you begging and whining and babbling my name and by the time I’d be finished with you? it’ll be the only thing you’d remember, my name.” Jake teased as he padded down the hall to his room, he was hard as rock by the time he got you in his bed, splayed out and naked just for him. 
The stupid H_ngm_n white graphic T he’d been wearing now long forgotten, same with your plain white one. Nearly identical if not for the black stitching. 
Watching on with lustful eyes as you played with yourself, dancing your delicate fingers across your sensitive bundle of nerves as Jake pumped his fist up and down his cock, spreading the pre cum his tip had oozed. “Fuck—you look so fucking hot.” 
“When Cyclone was screaming at me for being insubordinate all I could think about was fucking you on his desk.” You admitted as Jake came down slowly to kneel on his bed, his eyes never leaving the way you played with yourself. “Or fucking myself on his desk while you watch, either way I got fucked in my fantasy.” 
“Your about to get fucked in reality too.” Jake smirked as he came down to suck harshly at your nipples, swirling his tongue over your hardened buds as you arched your back into his chest. 
“Fuck—“ Your moans echoed off the walls of Jakes bedroom. “Jake!” 
“Ready for me?” 
“Shut up and fuck me already—“ So with that, Jake did. He fucked you hard into his mattress, moaning and groaning in your ear as he did so. 
“Augh—fuck Iris yes!” It felt amazing, Jake set a pace that mimicked that of perfection as he drove himself inside you, flicking his hip back with force every time just to hit the right stop that sent stars flying over your head. “Fuck I love fucking your perfect pussy baby.” 
“Harder!” You begged and Jake obliged. He wrapped your legs around his waist as he pulled back, grabbed your hips and fucked deep into you. Watching with lustful eyes as your tits bounced and your screams echoed. “Yes! Oohhhh fuck yes!! Yes Jake! Feels so fucking good.” 
Nothing felt better than when Jake had flipped you over though. There was just something about the angel he could get, how deep he could drive himself from behind as he gripped your ass in his hands to move you up and down his length. Watching as you curve your spine to rest your cheek down on the mattress and keep your ass high. All for him.
“Oh god oh god oh god oh god—“ It was like a mantra of whimpers escaping from Jake’s mouth as he used your cunt to get himself off. “Ohhh fucking christ send me to hell.” The devil truly had a hand on his shoulder. “Fuck you’re perfect Y/n, so fucking perfect.” Jake's compliment made you forget how to breathe, it was like nothing you’d felt before. 
“So close!” You cried out, reaching up to pay attention to your aching bundle of nerves that needed to feel its release, it’s high. “I need to come Jake please make me cum baby—feels so fucking good!” 
It was at that moment Jake paused his pace, pulled out of you which left you aching for more, only to lay down on his back and led you up to straddle his waist. Sinking you down, slowly and ever so carefully. 
“You wanna cum? Make yourself cum Iris, use me.” Which you did. You used Jake Seresin to get yourself off as you rode him senseless.
“Oh my god yes yes yes, feels so fucking good!” You moaned as your hands pressed into Jake's chest as you slicked his cock up and down with your velvet walls. “Fuck Jake I’m gonna cum!” 
“Look at me when you cum Iris.” Jake begged as he dug his nails into your hips, holding on for dear life as he felt his own high approaching. “I’m gonna cum in the pretty and tight pussy of yours—“ Your reply sent Jake into the stratosphere, it had him coming in milliseconds as you followed him seconds after. 
“Flood me daddy—“ 
“Oh fuck, yes Iris, fuck fuck FUCK--!” 
“Ohhh I’m cumming I’m cumming I’m cumming I’m cumming ahhhh—!” It was euphoric as you came down from your highs together, lying in a sweaty mess in the middle of Jake's bed. Lying in the aftermath of bad decisions and false hope. 
“Stay with me? Just for a little while?” Jake asked softly as he kissed your temple and pulled you close. “We can pretend that whatever this is could actually be normal for a little while, that you’re just some girl I met at some bar and I’m just some guy who gets to love you without consequence.” You didn’t immediately respond, but eventually? You agreed. 
“I’ll stay for a little while.” You replied, your eyelids grew heavier with every second Jake laid drawing unidentifiable objects into your naked back with his fingers. Loving that you fell asleep on his chest, listening to the way you made his heart beat faster. “I’d stay with you forever if it were possible—“ 
You left later that same night, slipped into your jeans and threw your shirt back on all the while Jake slept. You left your bra as a gift, sent Jake a text to say you were all good, just needed your own bed—and slipped out the same way you came in. 
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Pete Mitchell had been expecting you for the better half of half an hour by the time he decided enough was enough and marched into your room. Scared of what he might find when he crossed the threshold—he closed his eyes and announced his presence as he knocked.
“It’s me.” Mav was met with silence, he looked around expecting you to be half decent getting ready for work, except you were still very much sleeping in the middle of your warm fluffy bed covers. “Iris you're gonna be late, what are you still doing in bed? It's seven forty five!” 
“I’m not going—“ Was all you mumbled into your pillow as Pete pulled the blanket from off of you. Thank god you were at least wearing underwear. 
“What do you mean you aren’t going in?” Pete asked with frowned eyebrows. “Of course you’re going in—“ He followed up as he looked at your alarm. Seven forty six. 
“It means, I quit the program dad—I’m not going back.” You hadn’t bothered to mention it to Jake last night but after he’d been excused from Cyclones office you’d pretty much told Beau Simpson he could fuck himself. 
“What? Why would you do that?” Again, your dad pressed you further for information. You hated that he never did tell you what had happened with some of your classmates. The entire system was rigged against you and he wasn’t gonna say a damn thing about it. 
“You know why—“ Before you could even start your counter attack, Mav dropped his gaze. Watching as you rolled over with a groan. 
“Hang on a minute—“ Pete paused his interrogation as you rolled over on your back, exposing the clear as day Hangman graphic strewn across the white T-short. H_ngm_n. With a little stick guy next to it. It had been a gift from Phoenix at a Christmas party a year or two ago. Pete remembers the night fondly until he comes back to the moment and the conclusion that his daughter shouldn’t be wearing Jake Seresins Hangman T-shirt. “Is that? Is that Hangman's shirt?” 
“Huh?” You looked down at your chest.
Holy Crap. You picked up Jake's shirt by mistake in the darkness of his room. 
“Oh, uh—“ 
“Iris? What are you doing sleeping in Hangman's shirt.” Oh god that picture he saw, no it couldn’t be. But that mirror looked awfully similar now that he thought back to it. Similar to the one in your room. “IRIS!” 
“Dad, it’s not what it looks like.”
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