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canmom · 6 years

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gonna liveblog the COGIATI

i was talking about Unicorn Jelly etc. recently (you know, that super weird and fascinating webcomic I liveblogged?) and that reminded me of the other thing JDR is infamous for.

The COGIATI claims to be...

some sort of test which could be of assistance to the pre-operative, questioning person who is attempting to decide what they want to do about their gender issues. Most transsexuals are not early onset, sure-from-birth cases such as myself. The vast majority of the gender-dysphoric struggle for a long time trying to determine exactly what they really want.

Sounds vaguely noble, if misguided, right? Yeah, not so much. There have been many takedowns of the COGIATI and the whole ‘true transsexual’ thing that it represents, but my favourite for illustrating its impact is a quote from Torrey Peters’ brilliant (albeit extremely distressing) book Glamour Boutique:

Amy had read about transsexuals online. She’d even taken a test—the COGIATI (Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory), developed by some transsexual woman and based on DSM psychological models to determine if the test takers were true transsexuals who needed to transition, or merely transgenderists—that is, male fetishists, for whom transition would be a tragic mistake. She’d read whatever psychology about trans people that she could find at her college library and on the internet. Most if it was ten or twenty years old. According to what she’d found online, there were two types of male-to-female transsexuals. Those people who had always been girls, who had played with dolls, were attracted to men, and hated their penises. The second kind—the autogynephiles—were men who got turned on by the idea of themselves as women. These were the fetishistic crossdressers, who conformed to all sorts of male stereotypes, and loved their penises and got turned on wearing women’s clothing. They ought not transition, the psychologists said—they weren’t really women, they were fetishists who took their indulgence too far. Amy caught the whiff of moralism in this assessment and understood what it meant. There was something bad and immoral about autogynephilia. In the comments below the psychology articles, a number of trans women irate at this psychology always posted rebuttals. They called the idea of autogynephilia transphobic. They called the psychologists who came up with it chasers.

Amy remembered how one of them patiently explained that the term autogynephilia only works if you don’t think trans women are women. If you do, then you immediately see that a majority of women, cis or trans, are all autogynephiles, and that most men are autoandrophiles—it’s not something special about trans women. Of course women are turned on by being women! Watch any porn and the sexuality of everyone in it is actually about their own auto-andro/gyne-philia. Listen to them talk. It’s all about validating their own gender. Oh yeah, I’m your little slut…yeah baby, you like this big cock? And alone on their laptops somewhere: the viewers, turned on by identifying with people identifying with their gender.

Other trans women claimed that these psychologists had begun to be discredited, that their research methods were revealed to be the suspect practice of hanging around in bars without IRB approval in order to pick up trans women, sleep with them, and later write clinical papers both based upon and obscuring those experiences. But Amy doubted those trans women. No one with expertise cared what the trans women had to say. Who were they to tell psychologists with doctorates—scientists!—that they were wrong? And hadn’t it been a transsexual woman herself who’d written the COGIATI test? Of course a bunch of deranged creeps whose paraphilia revolved around womanhood would claim they’re women—crazy people never think they are crazy! Check and mate, sickos!

Amy didn’t have to take the test to know her own result: a fetishist, a pervert. But she took it anyhow, a series of bizarre questions about imagining shapes, and quantifying empathy. You are talking with a friend. Outside, far away, somebody is honking their horn regularly and endlessly. It is not very loud, you can just barely hear it in the quiet room. What is your reaction? You meet somebody and they are polite to you, but they are actually secretly disliking you. How likely are you to know this? You will never, ever be a woman. You must live the rest of your days entirely as a man, and you will only get more masculine with each passing year. There is no way out. What is your reaction? You’re in a desert walking along when all of the sudden you look down and you see a tortoise. It’s crawling towards you. You reach down to flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lies on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

(that last bit made me laugh out loud)

Despite hearing so much about it, I never actually tried taking the COGIATI. But I'm gonna give it a shot now because it might be funny. It might instead be incredibly depressing. I don’t know.

first question is about maths... i love maths, pretty sure that makes me less of a Tru Transsexual.

second question is about recognising people by voice on the phone. mm, i guess this is the Wimmins do Feelings, Fake Transtrenders Don’t thing, but it feels like more of a test for autism

third question... face recognition. women are never faceblind, just the facts

“You are at a meeting. Everyone at the meeting is the same sex as you. The leader of the meeting announces that it's time for hugs all around! How do you feel about this?” ...Is this testing whether I'm a replicant, or a lesbian, Mr. Deckard?

‘what kind of toys did you play with’ except it’s like, imaginative play vs. active play or something? I can barely distinguish these options

“You meet somebody and they are polite to you, but seem a little distant. They are actually very attracted to you. How likely are you to know this?” ...I swear half this site is talking about Useless Lesbian Syndrome right now. Guess Wittig is right, we really aren’t women!

someone starts crying while talking about something in their past, do you comfort them or feel uncomfortable? This is definitely a gender thing and not a cultural thing.

“do you like written porn or porn images” this from the woman who wrote a story which went to incredibly elaborate lengths to justify slime girls

this question is literally, straight-up, “do you get off on dressing as a woman”. If you’re going to be that direct with the whole “are you an autogynephile” thing JDR, why even bother with the rest of the test?

“were you good at writing at school?” ...Is this testing whether I'm a replicant, or a neerrrrd, Mr. Deckard?

“are you any good at parking a car” ...I can’t drive lol, I guess I should just take the most neutral option

You acquire an incredible power. You can change your sex whenever you wish, and the change is absolutely perfect in either form, male or female. What would you most likely do with such a power? - lol this is just the plot of El Goonish Shive isn’t it? none of these questions have been subtle about their ‘right answers’

“You have been visiting a new town for several days. Someone asks you which direction south is. Do you know?” ...Is this testing whether I'm a replicant, or a pigeon, Mr. Deckard?

“how uncomfortable do you feel sitting next to someone of the SAME SEX” ...are women supposed to be more homophobic? less? first question I’m actually not sure what you’re “supposed” to answer

“how comfortable do you feel speaking up in a group” basically. Women are supposed to be demure and timid creatures, apparently. Feminism? What’s that?

A paragraph long question about rotating 3D objects in your head! Finally! Essentially, we’re rotating a vector initially aligned with z around the x axis (assuming the viewing plane is the xy plane). Unfortunately, the question is - despite its length - ambiguous. JDR states that the rotation takes place “end over end, three times exactly”, but it’s unclear whether a “time” is an inversion of the vector (180 degrees), or a full rotation (360 degrees). The answers are opposite depending on this detail. (A ‘time’ might also be a quarter turn, since the question describes the situation as beginning with a quarter turn, but that would not leave the vector aligned with the z axis... unless the initial turn counts, in which case it’s equivalent to the 180 degree case...) I’m going to assume 180 degrees, in which case the answer is

Anyway the answer if you’re a ladyfolk is of course “I cannot rotate 3D objects in my head, the reason 3D graphics is dominated by men is not because of 1. institutional bias, 2. cultural construction of computer skills as masculine and prestigious and an 3. exclusionary culture, but because we are inherently inferior!”

Do you get annoyed by a quietly honking horn? Quoted in the above. Again, this is more of an autism test innit?

Can you remember faces of people you just met? (No.) I don’t know what led JDR to conclude that women aren’t ever faceblind.

Were you good at spelling? The fuck’s this got to do with gender lol?

“Can you remember tunes or songs easily? Can you hum, sing or whistle them with ease?” ...we might note that being able to remember something, and reproduce it, are different skills...

How well can you detect where a sound comes from? I guess d/Deaf people just need not bother with this test.

How well do you remember clothing when relating a story? Is this honestly... how does she come up with these questions

You have to take a test at age 14 and you can choose which subject. Obviously, I’ll get marked down for picking maths and science. For some reason they have like, ‘science or math’ and ‘geometry or science’ as separate choices. ...I don’t get it, in Unicorn Jelly one of the main characters was a girl whose brain turned her into a crystalline intelligence who saved humanity, where does JDR get this “girls can’t do maths” stuff?

Would you be more upset to be called AGGRESSIVE or UNDERSTANDING? Lol, as if anyone taking this test would not have internalised what this answer’s supposed to be...

Can you navigate without a map? Yeah... this question’s different now everyone has a smartphone huh. (Truth be told, I’d trust most of the trans women I know to navigate a city far more than anyone because they’re all massive public transport nerds).

“what if your dick and balls were TOTALLY DESTROYED would you be happy” ...subtle lol.

childhood games. girls never go outside! it’s facts! girls are in fact vampires!

“do you notice minor flaws in peoples’ clothing” basically. Because all women are obsessed with clothes, it’s just chromosomes.

“How much actual discomfort or suffering has any conflict between your physical sex and internal gender caused you?” disgregarding the archaic language, you’re just literally coming out and asking “are you trans” huh

do you catch a ball if it’s thrown at you suddenly? womens’ sports are not a thing.

can you recognise muzak in a noisy restaurant? lol even the actual musicians i know might find that hard

“suddenly physical sex stops existing and culture is degendered but you still have all your memories, do you still want to be ‘feminine’” these questions are so all over the place! like to even explore a fraction of the consequences of that would take a fucking PhD thesis lol

do you want people to get along in a group or get the job done? it’s impossible to tell like which shades of answer correspond to which point on the scale here

can you point at a bell that rings once? uh... maybe? god i’m only halfway through this

you’re offered a ‘be a man with no dysphoria’ pill, do you take it or run away screaming? yeah, that’s uh... a question. i’m actually not sure which way she’s going to put it.

“do you want to be seen as understanding, (irrelevant), (irrelevant), or assertive” ...is she just padding out the list

“do you cry at movies” lol yeah phoning it in here JDR

“Deep down, what gender do you really see yourself as?” another straight up “are you trans” type question

another like “is it more important to be POWERFUL or compassionate” type thing... yawn

“when did you first start worrying about gender” ...the options range from age 5 to age 15. Fucking hell, not even bothering to tell people who figured it out later that we’re fakey fake fakes.

“do you get migraines” ...what does that have to do with anything

“how long have you dysphoria’d”... again this fantasy that tw ‘always knew’ or we’re fake. god it’s depressing to see how far we’ve had to come... and when I say ‘we’ I mean basically white tw like JDR, it’s not like STAR was doing this kind of gatekeeping

“how much do you get off on crossdressing” i.e. “are you an autogynephile”... some of these questions are so roundabout and some of them just straight up ask

“do you want people to accept you as a woman” lol

“do your gender issues make you suicidal” hey JDR don’t you think there’s something at least a little bit fucked up in putting a “you must be this suicidal to be really trans” bar on transitioning

“do you try to hide your ‘gender related behaviour’“ basically. not sure if a Real True Trans hides it or does it proudly in the open.

“can you read emotions on peoples’ faces” another Isn’t This An Autism Test question huh

“do erections make you feel bad or good” because a Real True Trans hates getting off... literally suggesting sexual desire is un-female

“can you describe a 3D object to someone” again with the whole obsession with 3D in your head. i get the impression that JDR had difficultues with that and decided it was the mark of a True Transsexual?

“It is grade school. The teacher gives you a gold star on your work for excellence. What is it for?” ...it could be for any of these. I was a fucking nerd. But funny thing is, most of the tw I know were STEM nerds.

“Do you get upset if you learn you said something that hurt someone” ...OK I was joking before but this really is the Voight-Kampff test huh

Do you try to make your hair more feminine? OK I’ve known some eggs with long hair but plenty of us didn’t.

Can you recognise someone by voice on the phone? Are you secretly a neural network running on a server in a hidden NSA facility?

A stranger asks you for a hug, do you? (Specifically, a male stranger). The hugging thing is a bit of a recurring theme too huh. ‘It rather depends on the stranger’ is not an option.

Can you tell if someone secretly hates you? There’s no option to note that false positives are more common than false negatives here.

Deja vu... yes, this is literally a barely rephrased version of question 7. Did she just not proofread this?

Do you get off to pictures or words, again. This is question 8. So is the next one going to be...

“You will never, ever be a woman. You must live the rest of your days entirely as a man, and you will only get more masculine with each passing year. There is no way out. What is your reaction?” ...perform your pain for me, you disgusting wretch! But this is at least not question 9.

Could you identify peoples’ emotions in film? I’m pretty sure I’ve done that in psychological studies at some point.

Can you tell if married friends are having an affair? ...now hold on a minute. Previously the person filling out this questionnaire was assumed to be young. Like, known they were trans since they were 5-15 years old young. Now, they’re old enough to have married friends?

“Are you on hormones/about to start?” ...lol, if you’re already on HRT the point where you’d be taking an “are you trans” test is probably past?

“Have you lived as a woman for a week?” at least it’s not the fucking year of “real life experience” the NHS wants you to have to get a vagina.

“How do you feel about living as a man?” Again with the whole straight-up asking “are you trans” thing. “It is a pretty unpleasant thing to be” accurate lol

Do you want to remembered as a woman or a man when you die? ...I want to be remembered as an AI goddess thanks

Straight up asks you if you’re a crossdresser, a “transgenderist” or a “transsexual”.

And the result...

Your COGIATI result value is: 230 Which means that you fall within the following category: COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL

Huh. I actually thought I’d get marked down harder for the whole ‘knowing how to do maths’ thing. And there were fewer questions about rotating 3D objects than I thought.

As it happens, although Javascript probably didn’t exist when JDR wrote this, the ‘scores’ associated with each question (yes, it’s a single linear scale) are embedded in the page. They’re all multiples of 5. Moreover, every single question is marked on a range between -10 and +10, because how annoyed you are by quiet sounds is just as important as whether you’re already on hormones. This is unbelievable.

Most of the questions are predictable, but to answer the bits I wasn’t sure about...

Using a magic power to switch genders often is penalised hard because nb people just plain don’t exist and complexity is made up.

Discomfort over strangers being close and hugging you is penalised hard as well, because all women just love affection from strangers.

The vector rotation question... apparently the 180 degree interpretation was the correct one, i.e. the one that’s penalised with a -10. (I’m pretty sure looking at the source code to find out is like a -50 though lol).

Being annoyed by quiet sounds is More Transsexual than not noticing them. Also, being good at spelling.

It turns out the answer in Genderless World is that True Transsexuals would be happy, and dirty autogynephiles would be sad because they want to dress femme. That really could have gone either way honestly.

On the other hand, a True Transsexual would never take the ‘be a man without dysphoria’ pill. I’m not sure I can fully understand the logic.

Apparently real trans women get migraines. I have no clue how she came up with that one.

Hiding your crossdressing/‘gender related behaviour’ is a bad sign for the True Transsexual. Closet? What’s that?

Apparently getting addition right is the least trans thing, and knowing how to multiply is slightly less bad.

Anyway the COGIATI has done an unknowable amount of psychological damage to young trans women and it’s a good thing that it’s now seen as ridiculous obviously. I don’t know when we’ll move far enough from that period that our laughter doesn’t have the feel of gallows humour. It has about as much to do with trans womens’ actual childhoods as Ray Blanchard’s wet dreams, which is to say, shit fuck all. Hopefully this was entertaining though.

#genitals cw #transmisogyny cw #suicide cw

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