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lorelune · 8 months

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part iv

|| diluc ragnvindr x f! reader || E/18+ || hurt/comfort, fluff, post-trauma || wc: 13.3k || ao3 || masterlist || ← PREVIOUS + NEXT → ||

As much as you allow yourself to, you 'settle' in.

❁ my heart, your song - @firein-thesky ❁

minors & ageless blogs dni

a/n: a!!! chunk!!! AHHHH!!! i'm so excited to finally share more of this piece :'^) thank you endlessly to mao (@itoshisoup) and collab-partner cielo (@firein-thesky) for beta-reading and riffing throughout this piece. their input and edits have been vital to polishing this story and getting it all the way here!! to posting!!! thank you both!!!!! check out the masterlist above to read cielo's piece for this collab <3 leave them and kaeya some love 💓 please enjoy this next chapter, with all its sharp-teeth and softness (and some oral 😎😎!!!!) ENJOY loves!!! <333

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tags: smoking, vague descriptions of dissociation, references to reader's past, almost-wife (an unnamed oc), some smut (as a treat), soggy soggy soggggy!!!

PART iv: the thaw

Adelinde comes to your door the next day and takes your measurements. Circling you with a sewer’s tape here and there, she records numbers on a little notepad.

“The Wind’s Breath dance is in a few days.” She tells you. Days have been blurring together. “Master Diluc has requested that an outfit be fetched for you for it.”

You should be upset, it seems like an overstep. It is. But, for ‘staying for Windblume’, you haven’t been back to Mond proper since you’ve settled down in the Winery. The Wind’s Breath dance, or rather night of fucking debauchery does have somewhat of a dress code. There’s a traditional style of Mondstadan clothing that most wear, aside from perhaps knights and some merchants. The colors align with Windblume’s yellow, soft teal and creamy ivory.

Certainly clothing you don’t have now, and a night of drinking and dancing sounds absolutely lovely. You remember enjoying the ceremony of it, in your youth.

“... Did you hear Diluc and I last night?” You ask Adelinde when she has the tape around your bust.

Adelinde chooses her words carefully, more interested in the measurements than your question, “I heard shouting by the hearth, but nothing after. Should I have heard more after?”

You flush at her insinuation, “Adelinde—”

“Sorry, sorry,” She laughs without a bite, going to your inseam. “It’s a little too easy to tease you, dear. Forgive me.”

You narrow your eyes at her in jest, rolling them a moment later and let her prod you for the length of your wingspan.

“I did shout at him though.” You admit. “I could’ve chewed him out more. He deserved more, maybe. I don’t know. It feels confusing.”

“Why confusing?”

“Because—” You rub a hand over your face and your balance wobbles. “It’s Diluc. There’s just so much there, good and bad. I don’t know how or if I should broach it.”

Adelinde thinks for a moment, gives a thoughtful hum, and rises, “That’s entirely up to you, whether you choose to examine or confront your history with Diluc, and I’d say the winery, as well. I know that he has caused you a great deal of suffering and grief.”

You laugh, “It sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

“But,” She smiles. Smooths your collar down. “You also loved him, didn’t you?”

You stew for a moment.

Of course you loved him. Love, still. You’ve buried it so deep in you, but it won’t suffocate. You haven’t fed it in years, starved it from light and air, but it still knows yearning and want better than any other part of you.

You lie, “Once. Maybe.”

“And he loved you too, yes?”

(Oh, he did. He told you so, showed you so, over and over again. In the little gestures of childhood, to firsts that you shared, to the way his eyes shone so brightly for no one other than you. He had always been such a caring boy, and you were the subject of his greatest attentions.)

(Such knowledge has tormented you. To be loved in such a way, and have it ripped away in the way he did—)

“You know this already, Adelinde.” You side-step her question and go the vanity. Fidget with a bottle of perfume left by a previous guest. The glass bottle is small and amber, half-full. It smells floral with a hint of musk; you can tell even before you uncork it.

Adelinde watches you as you do. You can feel her gaze on you. When you dare to look— she keeps a soft expression. Wizened, and perhaps a bit sad. It aches to see her that way. She was there. She had taken care of Kaeya, Diluc and you in your youth. She’d been a fixture. Seen the lot of you through it all.

You wonder how she has beared it.

“Such care does not go away easily.” She says gently. “Even if we would like it to. Even if living would be easier if they did. I think both you and the master of the house know this well.”

You pop the cork on the perfume. It’s oily, and sticks to the tips of your fingers. You grimace. “It is... difficult to imagine Diluc caring about me, even residually, after his departure.”

“I imagine so.” Adelinde says so kindly. “But, I know the Master well enough to say he wouldn’t have invited you back to the manor so openly if he didn’t care for you. He’s not the type of man to do things he doesn’t want to do.”

(She’s right.)

(You remember Diluc dragging his feet and bemoaning having to wash up after days on the riverbank, covered in sand and dirt. How his hair would snarl and get so knotted— he hated brushing it, his scalp too tender and Crepus was, respectfully, a bit clueless on how to manage Diluc’s hair. You wonder—)

You rub your forehead, then your cheeks. “Even still. It’s hard—”

(Because you simply cannot fathom Diluc loving you still. Such a reality cannot exist. If it did— if that’s true—)

Adelinde must see your panic and redirects. “I think it would serve you well to try and remember where you are. Stay grounded in the good things you can find in the present, here, rather than a past that hasn’t been kind to you.”

“... I don’t have to forgive him, do I?”

“No. Not unless you want to.” Adelinde grabs your shoulders and squeezes. “Enjoy the fields. Visit your friends. Catch up with Elzer, if you can too. Maybe Kaeya—”

“Not Kaeya.” You don’t mean to snap, but you do.

“No Kaeya, then.” Adelinde seems unaffected. She smooths your collar and tucks your hair behind your ear. “Lisa, then. I’m sure there are folks who will continue to need your healing, too. Not to mention I do think Diluc will give you as much wine as you’d like.”

“Please, I’d rather he didn’t think of me as a drunk.” You paw at your cheeks as Adelinde pulls your ear with a cheeky smile.

“Does that mean we can’t share a bottle by the hearth? That’s a shame.”

“Oh, I never said that. We’ll just have to wait until Diluc goes to bed.”

“That’s not necessary.” Your statement gives Adelinde pause. You catch it, how Adelinde schools her expression and straightens herself. “I’ll be sure the master doesn’t give us any grief.”

You could pry. There’s something there. You know how to smell out a secret— half of being a physician traveling from citadels to isolated villages is picking out people’s hidden aches and pains. Ones they come accustomed to hiding or have become used to. It’s a learned skill, one you did not have in your naivete and youth, but you’ve honed it now. You see Adelinde falter.

Diluc has always been dawn— the insinuation of Diluc and the night causes her to stumble.

You do not pry. You school yourself. Because you are here for Windblume. And to find this damn healer. And if Diluc hadn’t invited you to his (not your) home, you’d be happily sleeping in your tent just outside of Mondstadt proper.

You do not need to entangle yourself more than necessary.

(You’ve already stepped too close to a chasm that you’ve avoided for far too long. You do not realize how steep its edges are or how fragile its cliffs.)

You laugh to yourself, “As if I’d let him.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t.” Adelinde softens once more. You can see the wrinkles around her eyes and in the center of her forehead. Thick patches of freckles on her nose. “ You, though. Take your time. Rest. Be good to yourself. I’m always here to talk, if you would need or like... and if I may?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve given the Master similar advice. He’s more affected than he lets on.” Adelinde reveals and presses her lips to your forehead. “You are both dear to me, and I don’t wish to watch either of you suffer in the ways you have. Though, I won’t mettle more than this.”

You sit with the knowledge she’s presented.

“Thank you, Adelinde.” And you hug her hard like you’re trying to suck the wisdom from her body into your own. “May I ask you one other thing?”

“Of course, dear.”

(You feel unsteady. You don’t want to think about this. But, perhaps, it’ll provide you some stability. Assuredness.)

“Did you ever end up telling Diluc about what happened while he was gone?” You can’t look at her. Even if you were, your gaze would be elsewhere. Even acknowledging ‘it’ (forget, forget, forget) has you feeling untethered.

Adelinde grabs your hands in hers and intertwines your fingers. They’re worn, calloused from washing and carrying burdens she shouldn’t have to.

“No, I didn’t,” Adelinde says, softly. “Both Elzer and I have kept true to what we promised you when you left for Snezhnaya. Though Diluc has... asked, we’ve been vague about it over the years.”

You’re grateful. Endlessly.

(It means that something is still sealed, well-bottled and shoved away, and hidden. It was the only request you made of them upon your departure.)

“Thank you.” You hug her, but Adelinde is already moving to pull you close. She strokes the back of your head like a mother would.

“Always, dear.” Adelinde assures you. You scrunch the fabric of her dress in your fists and bite your tongue.

(Lest you reveal too much, or break something that should stay fractured but whole.)

...

The Winery gets pleasantly warm during the spring afternoons. The sun slants just right, and the light that spills in heats the manor better than any of its many hearths could. You leave your window open, soaking in the bird songs and petrichor from the morning drizzles. You’re half-tempted to wander in the vining fields, but abstain.

You’ve spent the afternoon mulling over Adelinde’s advice. You trust her and her sagely wisdom. Without her guidance, you surely would’ve crumbled during your tenure as the winery’s unofficial master. You had no reason to doubt her, or think that she was leading you astray with her words—

And yet.

(How could Diluc care about you? How, how, how—)

You fist into your own skull, as if you could quiet your thoughts with nothing more than brute force.

The day lazily slinks by, and you meander to the kitchens for a meal as the sun goes gold with the evening.

You’re surprised to find Diluc there.

The kitchen is an organized mess, notably. Bowls and latched boxes of dry ingredients lay out on the countertops, and the center prep station is dusted in flour with several round balls of dough at the ready. You see a bottle of milk and bright yellow dust in a jar.

Diluc’s jacket has been discarded, hung on a hook near the back door entry to shield it from any potential mess. He’s left in his trousers and waistcoat, any of the more ornamental gold bits have had their sheen dulled by baking dust. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He kneads a ball of dough with a motion that looks far too practiced for someone who was once a knight, and now a businessman. Strong, worn hands, ducking into the dough, then out, smearing it on the butcherblock. His forearms bulge. It’s obscene.

He must notice you, but he doesn’t stop. You side-step him to the icebox, fish out a handful of berries and a wedge of cheese. You perch on one of the counters and fold your legs under you, stretching to grab a knife from a block.

“... Are you going to spectate?” Diluc asks, pausing, only to look at you for a brief moment before continuing his kneading.

You hum, combining a bite of berry and cheese and speaking through it, “I suppose. What are you making?”

“Sweetbread.”

“When did you learn to make bread?” You ask, a bit baffled. He’d always been a rather poor cook, and an even worse baker.

“Sometime back. I was forced to, while I was away.”

“... Oh?”

Diluc doesn’t look at you, “A comrade’s wife taught me how to. She said it was an important life skill.”

“That sounds about right.” You’d never mastered sweetbreads, but you feel quite adept at making flatbreads on round stones.

“These were supposed to be a bit of a surprise,” He grumbles under his breath. Almost pouting. “A gift... And perhaps, an apology— for you. For yesterday.”

“... Oh?”

“... ‘Oh’?”

You trip over your words, shoving a berry into your mouth to try and disguise your stumbling, “I didn’t expect you to apologize.”

“I’m not yet, the bread isn’t done.” Diluc sets the finished ball into another bowl, greased with oil and butter.

“I see.” You raise an eyebrow and take another bite. The berries stain your fingertips wine red. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I overstepped,” Diluc says simply, adjusting his sleeves and going to work the next dough ball.

“No— I. That’s not—” You groan, and throw your face in your hands. It feels warm. “It’s fine, Diluc.”

“Denying it won’t stop me from apologizing.” He shoots back. “You have every reason to be angry with me. Besides, this bread will go to waste otherwise.”

You shoot him a half-baked smile. A distraction, for both you and him. Hopefully, it’s enough to disguise the way your shoulders go rigid and the way you white-knuckle the lip of the corner of the counter. His words bounce around in your skull, like a mocking echo that just won’t shut up—

(How long had you waited for that admission from Diluc? How many star-filled nights have you toiled, once, craving that validation from him? You wanted him to balm the wound that he left, even if you knew it was impossible.)

(At some point you asphyxiated the want. Crushed it down into something that could be swallowed but never digested. Hope can’t be killed, but archons, did you try.)

Diluc’s words unearth the dormant thing. You don't think Diluc understands the gravity of what he’s said to you, and you hope he doesn’t put it together.

(It feels raw. He’s cut you and bared your insides without regard.)

“… Fine.” You concede to him (hopefully he doesn’t prod you further. Bear your neck to him and perhaps the action will be enough to keep him interested and tempted but not to bite down.)

You refuse to look at him. You smash the last bits of a raspberry between your forefinger and thumb and watch the juices drip down your skin. It’s a pretty red that you suck off when it reaches the knuckle.

Diluc sighs, and perhaps scoffs, before the sound and motion of dough kneading resumes in your periphery.

“I’m sorry too,” you say, breaking the fragile reverie.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Diluc speaks quickly. He’s not wrong, but you feel inclined to anyway.

(Your rage is more than justified. The thing bubbling under your skin— guilt, regret, topped with dread— is as well.)

You hop off the counter and teeter to bear your weight on your good foot. A hiss of pain gets caught behind your teeth and you chew the inside of your teeth. Diluc regards you, expectantly, hair spilling over his shoulders, half-hunched over his last ball of dough.

“I should give you the benefit of the doubt, at least a little.” You sigh. “I jumped for your throat, and that perhaps, wasn’t fair. You had a point, it was a long time ago—“

“Stop diminishing yourself. It’s painful.” Diluc interrupts you for once. “I deserve your ire. My reaction to your anger wasn’t justified or appropriate.”

“You stop being self-deprecating.” Guilt-ridden bastard. “Regardless of what you deserve, which I won’t be debating with you, I still care about you.”

(Love, probably. Most certainly.)

It’s an admission you don’t mean to give him. You instantly feel too vulnerable with the feelings; you wish you had kept it close to your chest and hidden. You watch your words cut him, and Diluc freezes. He’s so plain with his reaction that it’s almost comical. His eyes go wide and he goes stiff as a board. You don’t fare any better. You feel as though you’ve revealed a card in your hand that you shouldn’t have.

(You trade blows. One for one, flayed flesh for a split spine.)

You chew the inside of your cheek. You taste blood. Diluc clears his throat and collects himself. You leer away, laughing under your breath.

(A younger Diluc would’ve jumped at your words. Shown so brightly he could rival any hearth, become a human sun, if only for a moment. He would’ve gleamed. It’s difficult to admit that he’s darkened.)

He doesn’t return the sentiment— not directly. Not the same way.

Diluc finishes his dough and leaves it to rest before exiting the room without a word. You don’t get a chance to protest, he’s back so quickly, with a —staff— cane in his hand. A metal-caste owl sits at the top while the wood is stained a rich burgundy.

Diluc hands it to you.

“I don’t know if it’s sized correctly. I based it on the measurements Adelinde provided me.”

“… Thank you.”

You swallow and accept the gift. It is sized correctly, perfectly even, and it takes some adjusting to re-remember how to bear your weight on it. The ache in your foot lessens almost instantly, quelled.

“It surprised me, when you didn’t have a cane with a limp that severe,” Diluc says, watching you take a few test steps.

“I did have one— several. Previously.” You examine the metal owl with a frown. “Where did you get this?”

“My father’s study.”

“Diluc.” You freeze. “I can’t possibly accept a Ragnvindr family heirloom.”

“Nonsense.” He rolls his eyes. “It’s been collecting dust for decades. Make good use of it.”

“Diluc—”

“Take it. Don’t be so stubborn. You can hardly walk.” Diluc huffs, though the blush on his cheeks hasn’t waned. “What happened to your previous canes?

“Uhhh—” You drawl, clicking your tongue and examining the floor. “One was surely stolen. At least two broke? I definitely lost one at a pub— in Fontaine? I never got a chance to go back for it.” There was a village victim to a particularly bad flood that needed tending to. Canes can be replaced.

It takes you a moment to place the look on his face. His brows pinch. Mouth set in a line. Creases under his eyes—

Disapproving?

It snaps to something more neutral, a moment later. Unreadable and guarded, entirely expected and perhaps welcome. He returns to his baking, tidying up the kitchen with his back to you. You open your mouth, then close it a moment later.

(Later, there’s a knock on your door accompanied by a tray of steaming sweetbread, the rounds decorated with edible flowers and dusted with sweet flower pollen. Diluc apologizes, barely able to meet your eye. It should be insulting, but it’s cute, in a boyish way. You let it be cute. It doesn’t silence the pangs and pains in your chest, but it makes them easier to bear.)

(The sweetbread is delicious, and you half-wonder about the star map that led him to learn a skill so foreign to a lord like him.)

…

You aren’t sleeping well. Maybe it’s penance, for how well you slept your first days at the winery. Your body is, overall, less fatigued than before. The sleep debt you’d run up was somewhat satiated, which apparently meant not fucking sleeping—

(You could fall asleep, mind you. You just couldn’t stay that way. Dreams woke you each night, of memories and flashes, rib-breaking sensations, and the crunching of bone. Rain-soaked silk clinging to your arms and legs. A bloody nose. A hangover so bad you vomit red and black. A garnet red stone, set in black leather, round as low-set sun.)

(Fragments, really. Twisted and mangled together.)

You shoot up in bed, again, sweat dripping down your sternum, sticky on your forehead. The throb in your chest hardly wanes as you struggle to catch your breath. You clutch at the fabric over your collarbones, breathing through your mouth in light pants.

Your thoughts spin and tumble. It takes you a moment to distinguish moment from moment. Where you are. What you are. When you are.

Shifting for a sip of water, a shot of pain tangles around your foot and ankle. The muscle is drawn too tight with your fear, panic tugging the tendons wrong. You muffle your own pained wince, keeping it just a wince, and bite down on your lip.

You try to settle, after a while, praying that a few deep breaths release enough tension for a proper sleep. The electric zing that eats at your ankle keeps you awake, uncomfortable to the point of being unbearable. Your heart won’t stop racing with it.

You give up trying to sleep, instead wandering from your room with your new cane, and situate yourself in front of the great room’s dim hearth. You fuss with it, tossing another log and a bit of Pyro starter on the spitting embers. It catches, lights the room soft amber and you collapse on the lounge closest to it. You face your right foot toward the heat of the fire, hoping the heat loosens some of the bound-up muscle.

You splay out. Veg. Keep your eyes half-lidded and watch the fire lazily. Fixate on the licking flames and let the heat burn away your dream and hope it chases the physical pains too.

There’s a slam, when you’re beginning to nod off. Wood on wood— a door near the back of the manor. There are a few more bumps and thuds, ones you can’t place or recognize. You straighten up and listen to the heavy steps that follow. No one would be stupid enough to just break into Dawn Winery, not when Diluc’s fighting prowess is somewhat legendary in Mondstadt.

You don’t see Diluc enter, only hear him. His stride is wrong.

“You smell like blood.” You say with the tempo of the crackling flame. “Is it yours?”

Diluc freezes, just behind the lounge. Caught.

“Why are you awake?” He asks, unmoving.

You crane your neck and assess his condition as quickly as you can, “Couldn’t sleep. Are you injured?”

He sighs, “Not severely, it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Oh no, nuh-uh, let me see.” You reach for him around the lounge. “You can’t board a physician and then expect them to ignore you when you come back in the early hours of the morning blood-soaked. Besides, I’d be breaking oath.”

Diluc grumbles something under his breath but regardless comes around to you.

He’s not really bloodsoaked. Not entirely. He’s missing a glove and there’s a slice through the sleeve of his jacket, burnt at the edges. Dried blood coats his palm. You ask him to move his jacket, and you see a red stain blooming over his abdomen.

“Can you take off your jacket?”

“That’s not necessary.” He straightens his lapels and takes a step back. “My injuries are minor. Don’t strain yourself.”

“Diluc.” You narrow your eyes. “Let. Me. Help. This is literally my job.”

“You’re sleep-deprived.”

“Healing a flesh wound takes as much effort for me as it would take you to lift your sword.” You scoot forward on the couch, resisting tugging him closer. “It’s really no trouble. Please, Diluc.”

It must be your begging, maybe. You’re too engrossed in Diluc’s condition to notice how his cheeks pink. He shrugs off his overcoat, and you cajole him into peeling off his waistcoat as well. It sticks to his undershirt and you wince.

It’s easy to slip into your role as a healer. It’s a clinical way of thought, you’re presented with a problem and the way to fix it is apparent and well within your abilities. Seeing Diluc as a patient rather than… Diluc is a cheap trick, and perhaps if you were well-rested and less dissociative, you’d feel guilty.

“Were you burned?”

“Only singed.”

You hum thoughtfully, “I need to touch you to heal you. Is that alright?”

He nods, slowly, deliberately, “That’s fine.”

He’s not fully bare, so you need to do some exploratory touching. You’re not sure which is more vulnerable— for Diluc to be shirtless in front of you in the firelight or the way you lay your hands gently over his sides (ticklish, you recall. You watch him suppress a jump.) Your fingertips skim over his ribs, flares of Dendro wiggling into his skin. It bounces around, then back to you.

Three bruised ribs on his left side. Four-inch laceration on his right side.

“This will only take a moment.” You send a strong thread of Dendro through him. Liquid and lengthy, and carefully stitch the wound closed. The skin knits back together easily, clean and free of infection.

You move on to his next wound and Diluc moves a step closer.

“Your hand, please?” You ask, soft. The heat of the room has lulled you.

(The contact is weakening you.)

Diluc offers it to you, and you take it, as gently as you can. This wound has more burning, but nothing too severe.

Second-degree burns affecting seven inches of cumulative skin.

“Who the hell were you fighting?” You ask, brows furrowing as you cleansed and balmed the wound. You wince as your Dendro eats away the burn. “ What were you fighting?”

“Unimportant.”

“I hardly think so.”

“Drop it.”

“ Diluc—”

“Something that deserved it.”

You huff. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

We all have them.

The wound has healed, but you find it... hard let go of Diluc’s hand. It hits you how close he is. You sit with your legs spread and splayed, and he stands between them. He’s inches away, and you’re level to his navel.

You look up at him, swallowing the heat in your cheeks.

Diluc has always been pretty. Since he was little, just a cherubian boy running about the prairie grasses. He grew into it well, though he has gotten a bit more rugged over the time you were apart. You recognized scars littering his forearms, and felt scar tissue buried in new flesh. His hair has grown obscenely long, tied back with a ribbon into a bow. It's only half-up, now, spilling over his shoulder as he looks down at you.

Your breath catches in your throat. He swallows and you fixate on the bob of his throat.

(You haven’t been close to him like this in so long. Since you were young, having so many firsts together in his too-big bed. His hands look bigger, warmer. How many times did you crave him, the comfort and heat of him? How many times did you wish the stars were twisted and angled just a little differently, so that you never lost him in such a way?)

(To be so close— it’s an unavoidable thought.)

You squeeze his hand, “Do you want to be farther away?”

“No.” He squeezes yours back— harder. Longer. Like he’s afraid. It makes a fragile thing buried in your shake and fracture. “Do you?”

“No.” You swallow, but it’s late. And you’re weak. All crushed bones and scar tissue. “This might even be nice.”

‘This’ is loaded. Bigger than the word, bigger than the distance your traveled while crisscrossing Teyvat. Maybe bigger than the distance between the stars you scorn.

Diluc rubs a thumb over the back of your hand. It shakes. The heat of the fire and Diluc are making something warm and tender rise up from the base of your spine to the back of your skull. You shake with it.

“It is,” Diluc admits, voice thick and sticky. “Thank you.”

“Of course. It’s my job.”

“Not just that.” Diluc squeezes your hand again. Harder. Searing. “For allowing me this. You shouldn’t.”

“Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.” You frown. “You’re being silly. And self-loathing. Lord Ragnvindr, I wouldn’t ever expect such a thing from you.”

Diluc sputters a half-laugh, and for a moment, he sounds like the knight you first held hands with when you were young.

“I only mean to say that you have every reason to be upset and keep me at arm's length. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you did.”

“It’s not like I’m not upset with you.” You worry the fraying skin around his cuticle. “I’m indulging myself too, you know.”

(You dance around what this means so well. When did you both learn the steps, as aptly as you twirl now?)

“That’s comforting.” Diluc pulls his hand from yours and it flexes into a fist. He surprises you then— kneels, lowering onto his knees between your legs. You’re at eye level. You feel pleasantly faint. “You must tell me if I misstep.”

“Oh, you know I will.” You give a warbling laugh and your stomach flips.

So much of Diluc is unfamiliar, but proximity with him isn’t. The heat he radiates is the same as you remember, even if he’s a bit rougher and far more wilted. He hovers close, tentative, but not in the boyish, inexperienced way you once knew. He’s not expectant, he’s not taking and tugging and searching— he lingers but only comes so close, giving you the ability to make the first move.

He sets up the pieces but doesn’t force your hand to play. It’s wretched. It’s thoughtful, or it’s cowardice— either way, it's to your benefit.

Diluc licks his lips, throat bobbing. You can’t meet his eyes for too long— there, you see searching. He’s lost his way with words, and you can see the way he grapples for the right ones now.

“I missed you.”

(‘Right ones’. Subjective. The ones he gives you are objectively the wrong ones. Only because they force another fissure into you.)

(You’ve spent so long swallowing your own desires and convincing yourself that there was no possible way for Diluc to feel that way about you. You created any number of mental theses as to why Diluc discarded you. Anything to make it bearable.)

(Anything to make the past palatable and controllable.)

(Forget, forget, forget—)

You tense with the thought. Your wound pulls wrong and you yip. Shooting away from Diluc, you double over to your right side. You wrap your hand around your foot (wishing praying cursing that your Vision doesn’t allow you to touch your own wounds) and slap a hand over your mouth. The pain brings nausea and the last thing you want to do is vomit on Diluc.

Diluc immediately fusses, hands hovering over your shoulders and neck, but never touching. His Vision must be alight— you swear you can feel the lick of imaginary flames off his skin.

“You’re unwell.” Diluc kneels lower, hands apparently alright to touch, and he tries to shoo yours away from your ankle.

You hold fast, “It’s just a temperamental wound.” Your voice wavers and you rest your forehead on your knee. “I’m sorry for ruining the moment.”

“Hush, nothing’s ruined.” He idles his hand over your own. Your vision blurs and you really think you might throw up. “Let me see.”

“No.”

He says your name, like a cut.

“It’s already healed, Diluc. Just wrong. This happens. There’s no use poking at it.”

“Satiate my curiosity, then.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m asking honestly.”

You hesitate. Think if this is going to unearth something that you’d rather have stayed buried. Perhaps it was the distance, the heat from the hearth and Diluc in tandem making you melt into the couch—

“Fine. Only because of those sweetbreads the other day.”

You attempt to peel off your stocking, trembling, but Diluc stops you. His palm (so, so warm. Like the kindest flame) wrap around your wrist and places it back on your lap.

“Let me.”

Your mouth dries, tongue going heavy and useless. Tentatively, you scoot back on the couch and adjust so your right leg is fully extended. Your belly feels exposed, the softest parts of you bared in a way that feels foreign and uncomfortable.

Diluc waits until you situate yourself, resting patiently on folded knees. Palms on his thighs.

(He looks like he’s praying, like you’re the altar. This is both an indulgence and a rite.)

One of his wide hands hooks under your knees and lifts your injured foot from the ground. Diluc pushes your night clothes aside, finding the top edge of your stocking and slips his fingertips just below its edge. You jolt with the contact (what’s beyond touch starvation?) and hiss under your breath.

He pauses, flame licking in the reflection of his eyes, “Is this alright?”

You nod, his touch sears you.

He peels your stocking away. His touch drifts to the arch of your foot, wrapping his fingers around with enough force to be comfortable, secure. It almost burns— but in the good way. Open flame on nearly-frost-bitten fingers. The hot springs in Inazuma or the hot stone massages they favor in Natlan. It seeps into you.

The heat goes cold when Diluc stills, eyes widening and shoulders drawing up. You watch his jaw lock and you nearly rip your foot from his grip. Gruesome—

“How did this happen?” There are visible ridges of shattered bone, prominent enough to catch the shadows the fire throws. Two toes with mutilated nails, still. A scar or two.

“I fell.”

“Don’t lie.” snaps Diluc. “This is not the kind of injury you obtain from a ‘fall’.”

You start to sigh his name, but he cuts you off—

“How.”

“I. Fell.” You grit out. Your chest hurts again.

Diluc traces the worst of it— a diagonal scar on the bottom of your foot, from the ball of it to your big toe. (You don’t remember the moment, only the sensations. The feeling of the knife slicing, hitting things it shouldn’t—)

You jolt, squirm, protest under your breath but Diluc tightens his grip, firm and unyielding.

“P-Please—” Your voice breaks and you lurch and grab his shoulders without thinking. Steadying yourself, grounding yourself on the bulk of him. “Please, don’t pry on this one, Diluc. Not tonight.”

(Perhaps you’ll muddle through the memory of it to give to Diluc. One day. Not now, when you feel like the gooey center of you shifts a little too close to seeping out of the spaces between your ribs. If you fall apart, will you ever collect yourself back up again?)

Diluc stills and stares at you. Into you. A little wrinkle appears between his brows, a half-scowl formed in the curve of his pretty lips. It makes your heart pound. You nearly backpedal, tell him the whole truth, the one you’ve shoved down your throat like chrysanthemum petals. The garden you’d throw up—

He relents. Allows you respite. You take it greedily.

Diluc coaxes you to lie back down on the couch, touch hovering most of the time. His contact ginger, “You don’t have to give me anything you don’t want to.”

The assurance hits you in the chest. Like a crack that bludgeons your sternum in three.

“‘Kay. Thanks.” You say. Two words is all you can get out around the threads that bind you upright and together.

Diluc sits back on his haunches, going back to your foot. The pads of his thumbs massage at your ankle, slow and light at first as he gauges your reaction. You swallow thick, watching him with darkening pupils. His touch moves higher, up your calf, shifting your bed clothes aside.

He’s more worn. Calluses make the skin of his thumbs just a bit rougher than you expect. The vision on his waist thrums and throws light as he touches you. Pressing his heat into you. His touch makes you goopy. You slouch into the couch.

He never ventures higher than your knee, but it’s enough. Maybe it’s too much. The lack of sleep and the fucking heat put you in a state just above sleep. He’s horribly gentle with you, pausing and noting every twitch and jolt you shake out. Asks low and quiet if a certain touch is too much. It’s all overwhelming— decadent. You glut yourself on it, just a bit. The pain of the injury dissolves and all that you’re left with is Diluc. Dutifully petting you and soaking you in something rich and spiced.

You only feel warm. It spreads up your body— cows the shaking little thing between your ribs. Diluc relaxes you into a slump that has you sleepily blinking, perhaps keening once or twice— you can’t recall. Perhaps Diluc slides back on your stocking and helps you up. Perhaps he guides you up the stairs and back to your guest room.

(You think about inviting him in. You think about dragging him down and in to bring him closer to that thing in your chest that festers, balm it.)

(You think better of it.)

(You’re too tired to notice the way he lingers on you. His hands, holding you a moment too long. The squeezes to your sides and arms as he walks with you up the stairs. Even when your own breath stutters, you’re unaware. Blissfully ignorant to the effect you have on Diluc.)

You dream of it, maybe. Warmth and heat and familiarity that isn’t wretched. You dream of favorable stars and a warm bed.

...

Something shifts between the two of you after that. Even if the moment of vulnerability was brief, it's like a rift has opened up in your chest. Split. Cleaved. Archons.

You feel the inexplicable urge to be near Diluc, despite all of the unsettled anger that burns in your belly. The memory of the heat of him is an intoxicant in and of itself. The way Diluc touched you like you were something fragile— cherished.

(Archons, you’re fucked, aren’t you?)

You avoid Diluc, somewhat. You take to watching him instead. Perching in your bay window, you watch him work in the fields during the mornings and evenings, and listen to him thump around in his office during the midday when the sun is high. He receives a guest or two, maybe, there’s always activity in the main foyer of the winery. You suppose, given that the manor functions as both a home and a business, and it’s the busiest season for Dawn Winery, it makes sense.

Elzer, actually, is the one who gives you a bit of grief for it.

“He doesn’t bite, you know,” Elzer tells you when you perch on his desk, early one morning while Diluc is out. “You may even enjoy talking to him.”

“We have talked.” You clear your throat, pounding your chest. “Just. It’s complicated.”

“I’m aware.”

Elzer was around, during your tenure as ‘master’ of Dawn Winery. Though Adelinde grew closer to you, Elzer was still a reliable and kind confidant. More-versed in the business end of things than either of you were, and from him you learned a great deal. He, in turn, learned a great deal about you. Adelinde too. Gods, how many nights did you sit at this same desk, organizing mislabeled paperwork over goblets of wine and teacakes?

“Does your wrist still bother you?” you ask.

“You’re deflecting,” deadpans Elzer.

“You’re not answering my question, either.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes. It does. I take a tincture for it sometimes.”

“... Can I see it— your wrist? Let me have a look.”

He holds out his arm and you shift around the desk to prop yourself up on the same side he sits on. Your cane lays idle against the matching mahogany. There’s a reluctant pull at his brow, but he still scoots forward on his seat, rolling up his sleeve.

Taking his arm in a gentle, practiced grip, you send sparks of Dendro through him. Elzer’s brow scrunches with the feeling— you’ve been told it can be jarring if you’ve never experienced Vision healing before. You tighten your grip.

You smooth a finger over the meat of his thumb. “Tendonitis, still?”

“You always said that’s what it was, but never gave me anything conclusive back then.”

“Well, it certainly is,” you huff. Inflammation crawls around the tendons of his hand and wrist, stretching into his shoulder.

You sink a balm of Dendro into him, rather than sparks, more like a sheet. Elzer visibly relaxes, hand going a bit more slack and loose in your grip. Sagging forward, like a ragdoll with half-cut string. Your other hand rises to steady him, firm and solid against his shoulder.

“Does Diluc work you too hard?” You send another wave of it through. “I’ll chew him out, if you want. I have nothing to lose.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Oh, so it’s just the bad posture?”

Elzer snorts and you can’t help but laugh with him. It’s easy to rib him, like a little brother. He was practically your same age, but he always kept the aura of someone your junior. As adept as he was at everything he did, there’s a boyish charm to him that hasn’t faded with time.

You barely see him out of the corner of your eye— Diluc. Rounding a corner with an armful of papers. His grip goes tight and his steps stutter as he enters the little atrium. Elzer tenses behind you. The Dendro lingering in him bounces back to you.

Diluc clears his throat, fist over his mouth. He looks at Elzer, then you, and clears his throat again—

“Ah, I suppose I’m interrupting working hours. Apologies.” You shrug and hop off the desk. Wobbling past Diluc, you disappear into the shadows of the house.

It’s intentional, really. You don’t want to give Diluc any more of an opening than he already had and fuck— you saw him, didn’t you? The way he drew up, the fire that ignited in his eyes at the closeness—

Archons, Diluc, jealous?

The thought is too sticky to cope with. You retire for a nap early in the afternoon.

...

Nightmares come for you again, and you busy yourself wandering the halls of Dawn Winery. It’s a moonless night, and far too dark to be wandering without a lantern or candle, but you do so anyway. Adelinde and Elzer are surely asleep, as with the rest of the staff. You assume that Diluc is out, as he tends to be late at night. The tap of your cane against the wooden floors echoes against the silence of the rest of the winery.

Your latest nightmare felt repetitive. The same images, the same feeling of being untethered against an unstoppable swell. Drowning but without water. Asphyxiating on something that crawls up from your lungs.

(Red, rotten memories. Rotten.)

(Forget, Forget, Forget.)

You pause in front of a particular door in the south wing. Ambient light from the manor bounces off its brass handle, polished by clearly tarnished with time. Its design is different from the crystal doorknobs Diluc has replaced around the rest of Dawn Winery. Its original, untouched— a relic.

You pause in front of a particular door in the south wing. You know this door. The wood, unlike most of the rest of the manor, hasn’t been re-stained or replaced. It’s the same dark tone you remember from your youth, and the knob shines the same brassy gold. It appears unchanged.

You wonder if you’re still dreaming.

Clearly, you aren’t, as you enter the room. Your nose burns as you do. A layer of dust covers everything— the table that cuts the room in two, the stacks of discarded books, and old, dry quill. An untouched pile of blankets and pillows in the corner appears to be lightened, sun-bleached.

You kick the pile and laugh, something low and a little defeated.

The Small Study hasn’t been touched. Never redone, not even cleaned. It’s entirely preserved and more painful to see because of it.

(So much tied up in a simple room. You had avoided it at first, didn’t you? You knew everything that happened here. A love that bloomed, a betrayal, your own decay.)

All that’s left is the skeleton of the room. Flesh eaten by time and memory, consumed to this point where there’s nothing further to rot. Just a vague shape to mourn.

Based on the absolute state of neglect and disuse, you assume that Diluc hasn’t poked around this room much, or at all, in the time since he returned. You’re grateful that— you hid a secret or two here that now feel too dangerous to have in the open.

(Despite the fact that it’s clear this place is too painful for Diluc to touch, too. He’d never find the bits of you that you buried here.)

You tug down a leather-bound book from a shelf, eye-level (still), and rub dust off the spine. Over the cover is embossed some type of Fontainisian design, swirls of gold concentric circles and feathering blots of blue and purple over the leather. It was a gift, back then. Something artisanal that a craftsperson brought to Mond’s market— One of the many gifts Crepus gave to you in the months before his passing.

You curse under your breath, pressing your fingertips in the cover. There’s a ring of teeth marks on one corner— your teeth. Had you really bitten the cover in a fit of frustration?

(Probably. Your memory feels fuzzy and fragmented. Broken glass— you can’t pick them up without risking slicing your hand wide and bloody.)

A door shuts, a heavy one, somewhere else in the manor. Diluc has returned. Part of you itches to seek him out, survey him for injuries and help where you can. It takes you nothing to stitch and sew him up. Healing a wound for Diluc feels like a twisted debt paid, maybe. He isn’t aware of it.

Being in the Small Study makes you horribly aware of it.

The pages of your old journal feel brittle and dry against your fingers. Some stick together, even now, with dried ink that you spilled over the pages. Some of the script is illegible, your pen having muddled into something beyond understanding. What you are able to read, you try not to absorb. It’s only morbid curiosity that has you peeking at it, at all.

(You should probably burn the thing. It has far too many secrets written in it.)

Diluc calls your name from the door, and you freeze. The journal is easily tucked back in place.

“Yes?” You don’t look at him, but twirl on your heel to the middle of the room. As if you should be there.

(Maybe you should be, for him. All you are is a relic to him, maybe. Something from the past that should stay that way. Aren’t you just a skeletal remain?)

(The thought persists.)

“What are you doing in here?” Diluc asks, lacking any edge. He rests his hip on the long table.

You consider the question, mull over it and roll your answer around on your tongue.

“Reminiscing, I guess,” you say, it’s too late to be dishonest. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“That seems to be a pattern.”

“Reminiscing?”

“I meant your inability to sleep through the night.” Diluc sees through your diversion. You let him, cow your barely there instinct to fight him.

You sigh and laugh, weak, “I suppose.”

Diluc’s gaze is on you— you can feel it. You kick at the floorboards, counting the swirls and irregular notches. It’s easy to imagine the look he must be wearing. Pity, maybe. You feel like a stray cat, cornered and hungry, but ever-wary.

“May I ask why?”

You click your tongue, “Guess, and if you’re right, I’ll tell you.”

“Isn’t it a bit late for a game like this?”

“Call me a night owl.” You clamor on top of the table and sit semi-cross-legged, with your injured ankle extended.

“... Your injury?” Diluc asks.

You shake your head.

“... You always ran cooler. Are you cold?”

“Maybe a bit, but not really.”

Diluc stalls, and you can see him sort out the correct answer. He’s known it since the beginning of this conversation, but you’re both so fluent in denial, you might as well dance together in it for a while.

“Dreams?”

You nod.

Diluc opens his pretty, petal lips to speak, then thinks better of it. Instead, he removes his jacket and lays it over his arm. You expect him to prod you.

“Would you like some tea?” Diluc asks. “It may settle you, allow you a proper rest.”

Tea sounds nice, you think. Something warm and someone warm. You know better than to walk so close to him when you’re so shredded at the ribs and tummy. Vulnerable. You know better.

(Then why is the idea of closeness with him so intoxicating? You don’t care about the potential consequences, not really. Your tangle of emotions feels superseded by desire, and you’re barely holding onto self-control.)

(Archons, you want to let go, just a little.)

The threads loosen, just a fraction.

“I’ll take tea,” you admit. “I think there’s some of the sweet bread rounds left too.”

When you look up, Diluc has a simple smile painting the edges of his lips. It’s small, nearly uncatchable, but you recognize it immediately. You resist the urge to go to him and press into the dimple that carves his right cheek.

It’s awful, the way your heart seizes in your chest, nearly breaking you down your center. You twin him with your own smile, a small one— lest you burst in the middle of the Small Study.

(Where everything began to fall apart.)

(Forget, forget, forget.)

...

You both sip cups of tea and pass a packed, cherrywood pipe back and forth on Diluc’s balcony. It’s sizable, enough room for you to curl up against the railing, far enough from Diluc to not feel crowded, but still accept the pipe each time he passes it to you. The tobacco smoke feels thick and rich in your mouth, and you resist the urge to draw it too far back into your throat. You instead distract yourself with the smoke that lazily curls from your lips with each exhale.

(You catch Diluc entranced by it as well, the way your lips fall open.)

The sky feels starless; heavy clouds cover the cosmos low. You imagine it’ll rain again in the next few days, especially with the ache in your injury. The air bears down on you, just like the clouds do. You crave a moon or single star to fixate on, rather than proximity or the inevitability of an interaction.

You’ve become truly versed in avoidance.

Diluc looks... perplexed. Perhaps lighter than he did in the study. His shoulders sag more than they did before, and he almost looks to be melting into the chair he sits in. His heavy coat had been left behind in his room as you passed through, leaving him more bare. You can see blood seep up from flesh wounds, staining the white of his shirt, but he’d already brushed off your concern that evening. You didn’t have it in you to fight him on it— you vow to patch him up in the morning if you can catch him before he starts his daily business.

You must, really.

The quirk between his brows bothers you. The draw of his lips and the way he’s purely staring at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You frown. Prodding seems like a bad idea, given your exhaustion and the maw that’s cracked open between your ribs.

Diluc seems to stare harder. If that is possible. He sits before, elbows on his knees, and folds his hands. Covers his mouth with them. They’re thick and worn, unfamiliar to you. You can’t stop looking at them. You recall him having beautiful pianist’s hands, slender and sure-fingered. It’s easier to fixate on some trivial, physical difference rather than his expression. It’s verging on vulnerable. He withdraws to take a drag.

“I don’t know how to put you together,” Diluc admits. He snaps his teeth around the smoke.

You tilt your head quizzically.

Diluc chews on his words, looks at you, and then away. He takes another draw from the pipe and sighs. “You confuse me. You never used to confuse me.”

There’s a pressure behind your eyes that wasn’t there before. “How do I confuse you now?”

Diluc exhales. He smells like fresh smoke, ash, and the heat from a flame. And he looks at you and his gaze is soft. The pull of his lip and brow, the shine to his eyes— he looks hopelessly fond and sad. Heartbroken, even. There’s a smear of soot under his eye and you resist the buried impulse to wipe it away as something in your cracks. Threads snap.

“I’m not sure I know you anymore.”

(It hurts, it hurts, it hurts to hear— no one knew you better than Diluc. You’ve made yourself a stranger, and you must now reap what you’ve sewn. You’re just a vagrant in his home, fit for healing and burden and nothing more—)

Your eyes burn and you tear your gaze to the fields, “What a surprise. It’s not as if I’ve been around for your to be familiar with.”

“I understand why you left Mondstadt,” Diluc tells you, hushed like he is speaking to a frightened cat. Maybe that’s what you are. “I know it must’ve been very lonely.”

You almost snap at him. You almost scream—

(“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you for knowing me and knowing how I felt and being gone and leaving me here to ache all alone. I hate that you know me so well and forgot.”)

You don’t.

“I had Elzer and Adelinde,” you say. “Dawn Winery was hardly empty. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity.” Diluc doesn’t sound offended. “Never pity.”

“Sure.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Not entirely.” You wish the stars were out. You’d have something tangible to direct your ire toward. “What else would it be?”

Diluc sighs, not resigned, but you can hear the exhaustion in it. He’s wounded, he needs rest. You both do.

(You both need so much rest.)

Your nose burns and you sniffle.

“I still care for you, even if you are unfamiliar to me.” He says quietly, low, sweet, and gentle because it's only meant for the two of you to hear.

You meet his gaze violently. Your neck nearly snaps turning to him, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. You feel fragile, so close to crumbling.

“Don’t toy with me.” Your voice wobbles, your conviction does not.

“I’m not.” He assures you. “I wouldn’t.”

“You’re a wretched man.” You tell him. There’s no bite to your words.

“For you, I’d be better.”

“No— that’s—” You rub your eyes. “ Stop it.”

“Stop what? I’m not sure I can.”

(You don’t say: “Please stop being so kind. If you keep being kind to me, I’ll never leave. I’ll take every scrap you feed me and pretend it makes me a king. I’ll open myself up for heartbreak to be by your side. If you keep being kind to me—”)

(You don’t say: “I’ll think that you love me still.”)

Diluc cups your jaw and says your name, soft and slow and easy.

You’re sedated, because Diluc looks just as frightened as you feel, and speaks as earnestly as he did when he was young. When you used to lay over his chest and count the summer freckles he was blessed with. When he used to hold your cheeks, pressing your lips together, overzealous and honest, like how young lovers do. Like the young lovers you were.

Would this be easier, if you really were two strangers, sharing a pipe and tea? If there really was an ocean and deep sea more than changes of appearance or the way you hold yourself. You know it’s you— that you’ve changed since Diluc saw you. Last saw you— the day of his eighteenth birthday—

The feeling in your chest is violent. Shreds you. Tears you open. You ball the fabric of your sleep clothes in your fist, over your heart, and almost wince.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you think to say. You don’t know what you’re apologizing for.

“Don’t apologize, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He rubs a thumb over your cheek, and his touch and voice tremble.

“What if I have?” you half-admit, flashing him a withered smile.

(Forget, forget, forget.)

(A red stone like the garnet they tug out of the Chasm’s walls. Rounded. Pulsing. In the left palm of a man who could’ve been your father.)

“Then, I’ll help you fix it if you like.” He can’t. Diluc lets go of you, only to stand and fix a hold on your wrist.

“It’s not that simple.” You’re already saying too much. Forget, forget, forget. Shove it down into your chest, to the back of your mind.

You remain sitting on the cold ground of the balcony. Your leg remains splayed on the cobblestones, splinted and aching. You can’t bear to look up at him. You want to cry. Maybe, in the daylight, past dawn— you’d be better at facing this. You want tea. You want to sleep. You want to weep—

(into Diluc’s lap. To beg him for things that feel unfair to ask.)

“Why did you ask me to have tea with you?” you ask. “If it was to share smoke and try to have this conversation or two when we’re both clearly”— you gesture to yourself, balled up, and Diluc, bloodied— “not our best, I will retire to my room. I don’t want to... I can’t broach this.”

(“Yet.”)

(It’s inevitable, isn’t it? One you feel in the stars, rushing toward you.)

“It was never my intention to push you.” Diluc rushes to assure you. You look out the pitch-black vineyard, and Diluc kneels in front of you. “I didn’t—”

You snap, voice wobbling, “What do you want—?”

“I want to know you again,” Diluc tells you, confesses, breathlessly. He sounds like a (your) lover again. “I want nothing more. Just let me, please.”

(You haven’t heard Diluc beg in so long. You remember how he’d beg you for the extra candies that Teacher would give you after lessons. Diluc would beg you to trace shapes on his arm and the nape of his neck when you’d stay up whispering to each other during Mond’s cruelest winter nights. He’d plead for you to ride on his horse, with him, rather than your own.)

You squirm under your skin and refuse to look at him. If you do, you’ll shatter. You have to hold it together, just a little longer— until the end of Windblume, then you’ll leave, you’ll fucking run—

And Diluc says your name, begs you, “Look at me, please.”

“If I do, I’ll cry.” Your voice wobbles far more than you thought it would.

“That’s okay.”

“It’s not—” You laugh, and barely look at him out of the corner of your eyes. “I can’t start crying, Diluc. I’ll never stop.”

“That’s alright.” Diluc sounds like he might cry. “I’ll take you, however you are.”

He sounds romantic.

You look at him.

He looks soggy— wilted, like the way two-day-old cut flowers do. Still beautiful, because Diluc Ragnvindr is nothing if not attractive. Hair spilling down his shoulders, a fresh scrape over his cheek, eyes that crinkle in between because he looks as gutted as you feel.

And you laugh, something weak and small and feeble. A barely there noise you only let out to distract from the tears that wet your bottom lashes.

“... What do you want to know?” you ask him. Forcing yourself to settle, bear it, and look at him.

Diluc’s eyes go wide. The barest hints of joy squeeze the skin around his eyes and you see a boyish smile on his lips you’d forgotten he knew how to wear. You want to kiss it, him, because the feeling in your chest is bursting. The craving, need— to kiss him stupid and share it with him is overwhelming.

“Everything.”

You’re damned, surely.

“I don’t think I can give you that yet,” you tell him, honestly. “I’m still mad at you.”

“That’s alright,” he placates you. “I want to know about that, too. Anything you’ll give me.”

It’s an awful admission, really. That he cares to know you.

(Some part of you, festered for so long. Convinced yourself of untrue things because it was easier than facing an uncertain reality. The mere idea of Diluc caring for you breaks a small delusion that you wouldn’t be welcomed. That the boy you’d love and linked pinkies with was dead and gone far from you.)

(He’s here, right in front of you.)

You shift forward without thinking. Onto your knees, with your injured side limp, and you press your forehead into Diluc’s shoulder. It’s stiff, with your arms still tucked to your center, protecting your most soft and vulnerable bits. It’s all you can give him.

Diluc turns tense, then slack, so slack, like he’s been doused in warm water and left to dry in midday sun. You feel the muscle against your cheek go limp and you press your eyes into the smokey fabric. It dampens beneath you and you’re too tired to care.

(You’re being chipped down— It was inevitable, wasn’t it? Returning to Mond meant this. Part of you always knew that.)

His hand cups the back of your skull and you shiver with it. Warm and big, just like he has become with the years. He presses his thumb and ring finger into your scalp, scratching, and something between a sob and a wince gets caught in your throat.

“Is this alright?” Diluc asks.

“More than.” You keep yourself from weeping on him, barely. Instead, you grip the loose fabric against his chest and smother yourself in him.

...

There’s a part of you that you can’t quiet— the fragment that whispers and thrashes “this is an awful idea” and “stop it, before you get sucked so deep into him that you can’t climb out.” It’s the part of you that keeps your arms wrapped around your middle and only lets you drag your lips over Diluc’s throat without rhyme or reason. It’s mindless, never a kiss, because that would cross an invisible gulf you dare not to breach.

Diluc leads you inside, hand in hand. You wonder if he can feel how you’re shaking, beginning to fracture from the inside out. You already have been. You’re pouring out from your seams.

“I’m going to fetch more tea, I’ll be back in a moment.” Diluc steps toward the door and a bolt of panic shoots through you. It hurts, physical, dread-filled pain that has you stumble up, toward him, reaching out desperately for him.

(“Please don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t go. Not again.”)

You grab his sleeve and ball your fist in the fabric.

Diluc attempts to placate you. “Rest, it’s alright. I’m just going to the kitchens.”

You say nothing and tug him tighter. Closer.

(Part of you wants to kick Diluc away and lock the door behind him. There’s another that wants you to fall to your knees, and beg him to stay close. He’s given you a morsel and you should know better than to roll over for scraps but—)

(You’re so scared. So scared you’ll lose his heat all over again.

You listen to the latter part as you drop to your knees in front of Diluc, just steps into his bedroom.

You’re not sure what possesses you—

(You do. You’re distracting Diluc from whatever sticky, honeyed thoughts he is having by replacing them with something more carnal. Physicality is just that— physical. Tangible and touchable and far easier to fixate on the immaterial.)

(... Right?)

Diluc breathes your name, wide-eyed as you brace your palms on his thighs. You can feel how tense he is. The thick rug against the floor cushions your knees.

“What are you doing?” His voice is small.

“I want to make you feel good.” You ask, running your hands up to his waistband and begin to untuck his dirtied shirt, “May I?”

Diluc gives you a look. It’s all apprehension and worry, creasing the lines of his pretty face. He works his jaw as you toy with the leather of his belt.

(You understand it, really.)

(You don’t like the look he gives you, but you don’t know which one you’d rather see him wear. Hatred would perhaps be better. Desire would be the worst.)

(Diluc had always been the sure-footed one. Confident, but never cocky or boisterous. Even in the ways you’ve seen him now, he’s been firm and familiarly stubborn. But, at the sight of you below him, offering, he’s creased over in apprehension.)

Diluc gives you an almost imperceptible nod and tucks his bottom lip between his teeth. You smother your smile into the fabric of his trousers before palming him. He’s soft, though hardening under the layers of fabric. Your hands tremble as you undo his belt— maybe they’re going numb at your fingertips. It’s hard to tell.

It’s easier to pull Diluc’s cock free and stroke idly. You flash him a smile, you don’t know how real it looks.

(You love him.)

He is pretty. It’s not the first time you’ve seen his cock— hardly, but it’s been so long and his body is in so many ways unrecognizable. Even from the sliver of skin visible at his waistline, he has scars. Thick and thin, burns— he’s decorated in them.

(You wonder how many you could’ve prevented.)

The thought rots something in you and your hands tremble.

His cock though— his dick, that’s what you’re focused on. You fixate on the head of him, half-hard, pitching forward to press a kiss to him. Diluc makes an unholy, high noise, and you latch on to the sound of it. You lap at his slit and savor any pearls of precum that you taste.

Pulling away, you spit into your hand, and stroke the length of him. Your ears are ringing.

You look up at him, neck aching, and push the bottom of his shirt up. “You should hold this between your teeth, hm?”

Diluc’s almost trembling, shaking as he nods and puts the hem of the shirt between his teeth. It’s compromising, surely. He’s suddenly so bare, and you’re on his floor, clothed. Mostly. Your robe is slipping, revealing bare shoulders and an unblemished collar. You’re sure it’s doing something to him. It has to, you hope it does.

You stall as he bares his chest to you.

(So many wounds, healed and sealed. Most of these are new. Even with his battle prowess— what has he been doing to himself? To be so battered must mean that he put himself in harm’s way, above his abilities. Or face a foe he hadn’t expected.)

You tremble.

You purse your lips and flatten your tongue. The taste of him is distracting, pleasantly. It’s more musk than smoke, all him in a way that makes you swallow him down more. One of his hands hesitantly rests against the side of your head. He doesn’t push or shove you. The contact is so light, it almost feels like he’s hovering rather than making contact.

(Is he in pain? Does he have old wounds, like yours, that he’s just better at hiding? He was always the type to suffer in silence. Diluc wouldn’t tell you if he was hurting, would he? You’d only been able to goad him into letting you heal him when he was clearly returning home from a brawl, blood-stained, or both.)

You hum around his length and dig your fingertips into his thighs. Corded muscle covered by a layer of fat. Your mouth waters at the thought of taking a bite of him.

(You know he bruises easily.)

It’s hard to breathe— you hadn’t realized Diluc’s size when you endeavored to suck his cock, but you’re feeling it now. You bully him further down, forcing yourself to relax until the head of his cock nudges the back of your throat.

Diluc says your name so breathlessly, pinched around the edges. Your eyes stay shut and you anchor yourself on sensation. The heat of Diluc, radiating into you from the inside, the desperate way he breathes through his teeth and the shirt tucked between them. You hum around him and relish the choked sound that he can’t hold back.

(Like this, whatever is simmering under your skin and behind your eyes feels duller. You can chase sensation, grip it so hard it hurts, and bring pleasure at the same time. Isn’t this—)

You begin to bob your head, shallow, once, twice, and then a third time— And with a broken-sounding groan, Diluc comes down your throat.

It’s fast. It’s unexpected. The only warning you had was the way Diluc’s hand tightened around your skull, not pushing, but firm. Your eyes stretch wide as you try to swallow his release. It’s— a lot, more than you expect, and it spills from the corners of your mouth. Diluc jerks his hips, clearly involuntary, and you properly choke on him.

And then he pulls out of your mouth, dripping and sticky and softening, and you hang your head, swallowing thickly and coughing. The ringing in your ears is worse, and the world feels far away. Even Diluc’s heat feels lukewarm. It’s not peace, nor unsettling, something in the middle that is more unpleasant than pleasant. It’s hard to focus.

It’s easier, when Diluc goes to his knees next to you. He’s hastily tucked his cock away, belt still unbuckled. There’s dirt and singed fabric on his knees— you still haven’t checked his injuries. Foolish.

You reach out a hand (are you really shaking that hard?), Dendro curling around your fingers. Diluc catches your wrist and holds it steady.

The ringing in your ears clears enough to hear him say your name. It’s hard to register. You send the Dendro through his wrist instead— how many fractures has he had on that bone? The scar tissue—

Diluc says your name once more, more sharply, more worried— and he cups your jaw and tilts your face up to his.

“Oh,” you reply softly. Your voice is wrecked. “Hi.”

“Hello.” Diluc’s brow is creased, relief bleeding in his voice. “Are you—”

“I’m fine.” You pat his hand that’s on your jaw. “Peachy. You taste good.”

It’s fun to watch Diluc flush even more— he always has always blushed easily. It spreads down his neck and up to his ears. You mindlessly lay the back of your free hand over the cheek to feel how warm he is. Burning. You swear he’ll scorch you alive.

“I don’t—” Diluc shakes his head, rubbing at your cheeks. It’s intimate. If your ears weren’t ringing, you’d be on the other side of the room by now. Maybe Mond. Maybe Teyvat.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him. You feel breakable beneath your haze. “Is something wrong?”

Diluc looks at you. Really looks at you. Though you look back at him, the world is too fuzzy to take account of details.

(If you could, you’d see concern. Wretched, awful concern and care that he has kept tucked so far away from you since you’ve returned. You closed the distance so swiftly between the two of you, violently, and Diluc is split wide with it.)

“You’re—” Diluc presses a finger down to your pulse point. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

“Uh-huh.” You nod. “I couldn’t breathe for a moment there.”

“That’s not it.” Diluc counters you, but doesn’t argue. Instead, he strokes over your cheeks, conflicted.

You reach out without thinking and tug the black ribbon from his hair. It spills over his shoulders— the waves are a mess. You see snarls and soot. Maybe even chunks burned together.

“Can I brush your hair?” You ask, running a hand through it and grimacing as your fingers get caught. “No, I should wash it first.”

“No,” Diluc says sharply. It startles you enough that you jump. It makes him wilt even more. “You won’t.”

“But I can—?”

“That doesn’t mean you should,” Diluc says softly, squeezing your shoulder.

Diluc has been so incredibly tentative, almost unsure, about any sort of physical contact with you prior. But, in this moment, he’s so sure.

He presses his lips to your forehead, firm and unyielding. It’s so warm— like a hearth that’s always been lit and rolling. High enough to cook a pot over but not enough to burn you down. You’d forgotten this part of his heat.

(How could you?)

“Indulge me?” he asks, lips soft against your skin.

“... In what way?”

“Sleep in my bed,” he says softly. “With me.”

You frown. “You don’t need to return the gesture.”

“That’s not why I’m asking.” Diluc pulls away and presses his lips to your wrist instead. He must be able to feel your pulse.

You consider.

(You’re not within yourself. You’re floating; it’s not his fault. Circumstance and sleeplessness and the horror of intimacy do such things, you know. It’s a tempting offer when Diluc’s heat is so comforting.)

(When he is so comforting.)

“Are you sure?” you ask.

Diluc nods. “More than.”

(Is it really greed, if he invites you?)

“Okay.”

Diluc makes you tea. Scenes seem to skip before your eyes. One moment, Diluc is gone, then in the en suite bathroom, then beside you with a warm cup. The order of these events changes the longer you think about it.

The tea grows colder in your hands and Diluc coaxes you to drink it.

He’s thrown on some soft linen sleep clothes. You get distracted by the obscenely deep-v of the cut, and it takes Diluc repeating your name a few more times to bring you back, closer to the present moment.

Exhaustion catches you quickly once you’re horizontal. It’s easier to fall into and accept when you’re surrounded by the smell of Diluc and his heat. Him. It’s too daunting to touch him fully like this, but you face him when you lie down. You both grab the other’s hand, and squeeze in tandem.

“Is this alright?” he asks.

You nod, burying your nose in the sheets. “Yeah. Was earlier bad?”

“No,” Diluc says quickly. It’s too dark with the candles blown out, but you imagine him blushing. “Strange, maybe, but not bad. I didn’t expect it. I would prefer some notice, if you’re going to proposition me again.”

There’s something left unsaid after, but you can’t make yourself pry.

You’re so whittled down, really. You’re just bones and cracking flesh and tears burgeoning before falling. The idea of sharing a big, warm bed with Diluc, despite everything unresolved and open and festering, breaks something in you.

(You’ve been so hungry. Starved. Emaciated and just fucking dealing with it. And now you’re offered a feast on a platter and you’re horribly loyal, at your core.)

“I don’t share beds often.” A memory bubbles up to the surface.

Diluc plays with your hair, scratching at your scalp, motions nearly scalding and circular. “It doesn’t seem like you’ve kept much company on your travels.”

“Only a few times.” A melancholy smile twists your lips. A memory drags you down from floating. “I was engaged, once, you know.”

Maybe it’s cruel to say, and part of you revels in the way Diluc squeezes your hand so tightly it almost hurts. “... You were?”

“Yes.”

“Betrothed?”

“Yeah.” You smother a laugh into the buttery sheets. “She was a healer in Fontaine. We met when I stayed in her village to tend to victims of a fungal plague. She asked me to marry her after I’d stayed with her for a while.”

“But, you didn’t go through with it?” Diluc's voice sounds tight. Or, you’re imagining it.

“No.” You bring your legs up, curling around yourself. “I couldn’t. I called things off a few weeks before the wedding.”

“Why?”

You think, think— because it’s been a long time, and the memory has become scattered. The face of the woman who was almost your wife is nearly gone in your memory. You remember the sound of her laugh, the color of her hair, and the way her home smelled when she burned her favorite candles. But— but—

“I couldn’t do it.” You feel withered. “She treated me so well. I could have lived well. The village cared for me and it would’ve been a kind life.”

You choke on the sound of your own laughter. Morose. You wrap your arms around Diluc’s one, burying your face in his bicep like it’ll take the burning away from your chest.

“... Why couldn’t you?” he asks.

(Because it wasn’t here. It wasn’t him.)

“You know, at the Akademiya, there’s a whole Darshan dedicated to studying stars and the alignment of the cosmos.” You tangle a leg with Diluc’s. You’ll give him this much, another admission. “They say that fate’s written up there— for all of us.”

Diluc pulls you closer, under your thighs, slotting you together. It’s like you were made to be that way.

“I guess Celestia didn’t deign for me to stay in that village forever and get married.” You ache, all over.

(But the stars did bring you back here. To Mond. To him.)

Diluc’s breath catches. He holds you tighter.

“They took you away too, though.” You curl the fabric of his shirt in your chest, over his heart. Like you could rip it out— (just like how he ripped out yours.) “ You left. Chasing something, right?”

And you throw your head back and laugh. You turn away from Diluc, something rotten bringing you back into yourself. Not memories, but dread and panic (forget, forget, forget.) You hate the feeling. You shove your face into the sheets and savor the feeling of it. The smell and the heat that you’re sure will be ripped away from you. It’s Diluc’s scent. Cecilia and oat soap and stale cologne. You indulge.

“You said you hate me.” Diluc’s voice is close. You lay on your stomach, twisted at the hips, and Diluc looms over you. His hands bunch in the sheets on either side of your shoulders.

“I do, at least a little,” you admit, awful, wretched— “Maybe a lot.”

(As much as you love him.)

“You have every reason to.”

“So you keep reminding me.”

“I don’t regret it.”

It burns to hear. “I wouldn’t expect you to. A chance to play knight— hero?”

“Did you expect me to not do anything?”

“I expected you to at least say goodbye—!” You turn, sharp, and spit the words in his face even as your voice breaks. He’s closer than you thought, hovering so that you’re nose to nose.

A few tears slip, dripping down to your hairline. It takes every last shred and thread holding you together to keep from shattering. Diluc looks like he’s been slapped, shiny ruby eyes polished. Candlelight flickers in them, flame on flame.

You bite your tongue until you taste blood. Because, Archons, if you say anything else, you’ll regret it.

“I’m sor—”

“Tell me in the morning,” you cut him off with a smile, one that makes him frown. “Please?”

And Diluc is nothing, if not weak for you.

It’s an easy shift, for him to drag you to the center of the bed, close to his chest, and pull the duvet over the two of you.

When Diluc presses you, front to front, with your head wedged under his chin, he says soft and breaking, “You worry me.”

You nearly laugh again. “Don’t.”

He just squeezes you, hard enough that you might break.

(You feel like you’re going to shatter. You don’t know if you’re ready.)

#lore writes #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x you #diluc reader insert #genshin impact x reader #enjoy enjoy ENJOY!!!!!#AH it's so exciting to get to post more!! and a lil nerve-wracking but asdflkj #please enjoy <3 and feel free to leave predictions or feedback if you'd like too!!

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llannasvsp · 1 month

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"a place to stay" preview

I don't want to wait 24 hours for the poll to end so here is the preview of my current WIP "A Place to Stay". This is about a month after Seabound ends when Lloyd makes the decision to leave the monastery and his old life behind.

...

Lloyd shuddered as he walked down the mountain. A million thoughts taunted him. You have nothing. You are nothing. You did this. You let her down. She’s gone because of you. Nothing he did could shut them out. Everyone leaving made them worse.

It wasn’t fair. Not for Nya. She had given up so much. Everything. She had given up herself for them. There had to have been another way. If only she had given him a few more moments to think. He had let her down. Now she was gone. She made the choice, but it was because he had failed as a leader. He had let Kalmaar get that far. It would have all been different if he had checked the amulet, or attacked Kalmaar at the island.

Maybe he should have gone for blood.

He reeled back at the thought. His hand gripped the side of the mountain, stabilizing himself from the horrible thought. It wasn’t the first time Lloyd had thought about taking a life, but this time he actually wished he had done it. Even after regaining his balance, he let the thought linger. Before, he would have blocked it out, reminded himself that he was good. He was always good. He had to be good.

No, he wanted Kalmaar to burn. If he wasn’t already dead he’d find him right now and beat him into nothingness. That’s what Kalmaar had done to Nya. His actions lead to her sacrifice. It wasn’t fair.

It was only a few steps more down the mountain. He could’ve taken a mech, but what was the point when all it would do is attract attention? Nya had given herself to the sea only a month ago. Possession? Fine. Let the people swarm him. Getting his heart mutilated and shattered by the one he cared so much about? He could handle that. Being relentlessly beaten and thrown through a wall by the man he once called his father? Sure.

Losing his sister? He would break. He had broken.

His whole life was falling apart faster than he could repair it. He looked back up the mountain; the monastery couldn’t be seen from here. So he really had left it all behind. The one constant in his life was now nothing more than an echo of the past.

Lloyd had hoped that the last step of the mountain would give him clarity. That he would know where to go once he reached the bottom. No. There was still nothing. He had nothing.

You are nothing.

The voices that taunted him weren’t wrong. Being a ninja was all he had. The only life he’d had outside of it was petty crimes. He had nothing. He was nothing. No life. No family. No friends. Not now. Not after everything.

Something about this was different. When Zane had died, why hadn’t he quit? Why hadn’t he given up? Guilt struck his body; his neck burned with shame. Had he not cared enough? No. He was distraught. He overworked himself. It was all to get that loss out of his mind. Why couldn’t he do that now? Where was the desire to keep going? He wasn’t supposed to quit. He never quit.

Oh, but he had.

He wasn’t going back, either.

#llanna writes #not sure when this will be done #i also don't know if im going to post here or if i'm going to make an ao3 account #any suggestions on that would be nice #leave feedback in the tags please!!#ninjago #ninjago fanfic #ninjago fanfiction #fanfiction #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #lloyd #ninjago seabound #ninjago crystalized #ninjago lloyd

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introspectivememories · 11 months

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excerpts from my months old wip "think i'll miss you forever (like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky)"

#yes yes the title is unbearably long #but hear me out #also feedback? thoughts? are greatly appreciated #please tell me what you think #is it a break up fic? yes.#do they want to break up? no.#will they break up? yes.#it's mostly just me thinking about how far a civilian x hero relationship can go #bc there is love there. there will always be love. but it's not enough.#can you raise a family like this? can you have a sustainable relationship when one person is always leaving?#bear's a good guy yknow? and he loves tim. honestly truly deeply he loves tim #but i don't think he can stand to lose another person he loves to the violence of the city #and tim is sooo gone over this boy but the city needs him. and yeah he could quit. but will he? can he?#also just the nature if tim dipping all the time is bound to cause some issues in their day to day life #lord knows bear's friends think tim is a shitty bf cause he's always leaving. like there are real issues that come up #anyway #bernard dowd #tim drake #timber #timbern #dc

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saevoile · 2 years

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#land of the lustrous #hnk phos #houseki no kuni #phosphophyllite #lotr fanart #illustration #my art #digital art #please leave feedback

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bisexualbuck · 1 year

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excess of it

word count: 5k | tedtrent, mutual pining, Roy pov

[READ ON AO3]

Everywhere Roy goes, he comes across Ted and Trent just stupidly pining, staring adoringly at one another with unconcealed loveful eyes.

And he can't fucking escape it.

OR, Roy needs a break and he can't catch it.

The first time it happens, Roy thinks he’s imagining things.

It’s early one rainy Tuesday morning and he’s woken up two hours before his alarm rang. Suffice to say, he isn’t in a great mood as he walks through the still empty corridors of AFC Richmond. He doesn’t expect anyone to be there but the cleaning staff.

However, there are hushed voices coming from the coaches’ office. Something makes Roy stops in his tracks, though he could not say what. Perhaps it is the soft quality of the voices, the gentle rolling of words spoken in trust and quiet.

As discreet as he can, Roy walks closer, still hidden.

It’s Ted and Trent in the office, both their chairs brought close together and their bodies angled toward one another, yet untouching.

From his viewpoint, Roy can’t see Trent’s face but he can see Ted’s and, well. That’s quite a sight to behold. For all that he wears his heart on his sleeve, Ted has never worn such an open expression of openness in front of Roy.

Ted’s smile, though small, is as bright as the noonday sun in July.

Strangely, Roy feels like he is intruding on something precious and so, instead of barging in the office like he meant to, he turns back, footfalls still quiet, and makes his way out to the pitch, undeterred by the rain.

Roy doesn’t think too hard on it.

It was weird but he caught enough of the conversation to understand they were speaking of their kids, reasons enough for the soft look caught on Ted’s face, Roy figures.

Right.

He gives them ten minutes before he ventures back inside, and, this time, they each sit at their own desk, a respectable distance between them and no indication that they were having an intimate conversation just minutes earlier.

It’s not a one time thing however.

It starts slow at first.

Mostly, it’s looks. Just lingering looks when the other isn’t paying attention. Sometimes they’re just brief glances, stolen snapshots of the other that Roy just happens to notice.

Roy will turn to ask Ted something and find him staring at Trent’s profile as he writes in his notebook. Other times, Roy will want to commiserate with Trent, only to find Trent’s eyes being preoccupied by the sight of Ted telling one of his colourful nonsensical stories.

He can excuse the looks.

Though soon enough, Roy starts witnessing little strange moments between Ted and Trent that have him pause before he shakes himself with a reminder that this is none of his business.

Whatever this is.

Weeks go by.

The looks turn into touches, the touches into long conversations filled with private jokes and references that fly over Roy’s head, every word English and yet still a language uniquely their own.

One time, he finds Ted massaging Trent’s palm for some reason, but he turns back on his tracks and doesn’t ask about it.

Clearly, there is something brewing between Ted Lasso and Trent Crimm, but Roy cares nothing for it. He would have before he got to know Trent, but now that the both of them have made their amends and have become friendly if not yet friends, Roy will just ignore the whole thing until they make it official.

This tentative pining is painful to witness as it is.

This is where it should have stopped.

In an ideal world, Roy would have been able to continue on with days without being inconvenienced by a pining of such epic proportions – but that’s not what happens.

By some sadistic turn of events, it seems that everywhere Roy goes, he comes across Ted and Trent just stupidly pining, staring adoringly at one another with unconcealed loveful eyes. And he can’t fucking escape it.

He tries minimising the amount of time spent in the office but even this proves useless. The Fates are out for Roy Kent and they will make sure that he suffers. Perhaps it is revenge against his breaking up for Keeley that he should bear witness to brewing love when he himself ran away from it, so fearful of how it might end that he ended it before its time.

Fuck, he’s being so dramatic.

Still. He thinks he’s allowed it, as they are definitively making his life hell.

“You know I love our chats.”

Trent’s voice is so open it makes Roy want to punch the wall.

“Your hair is softer than I thought it’d be.”

The pen Roy is holding breaks in half. He doesn’t turn how Ted would know about the softness of Trent’s hair.

“Your neck giving you troubles?”

“It’s nothing, I just fell asleep on the couch last night.”

Before Ted offers, Roy already knows what he is going to say.

“I could massage the knot out for you, I took a class in college and boy, let me tell you, my A was well-deserved. These fingers are quite nimble, I’ll have you all melted like ice cream on a sunny day in no time.”

Trent Crimm flushing bright red isn’t something Roy thought he’d see in his lifetime, and yet here it is is – and it’s his cue to bolt it out of there.

They are laughing, once again standing closer than any just-friends would be. Ted reaches for Trent’s knee, squeezes it before he seems to recall himself and snatches the hand away.

Roy has seen teenagers flirt less awkwardly.

It’s driving him insane.

Roy is tired. His knee has been acting up all day, and the only thing he wants is to go home, get an icepack, and watch a stupid film he will never admit to actually liking.

It’s a struggle not to limp back down to the locker room though, by some miracle, he manages it. He only needs to pick up his phone that he forgot at his desk and then he can lick his wounds in private where no one will offer him sympathetic comments.

If only Roy had it that easy.

When he walks into the coaches’ office, Roy finds Trent fucking Crimm sitting on Ted’s desk, his legs sprawled and chest angled down to Ted. Ted himself is on his chair, gazing up at Trent with adoration and – oh, God – lust in his hooded eyes.

They aren’t doing anything but talking, and yet the air is charged with a tension so thick it threatens to choke him out.

“For fuck’s sake,” Roy barks.

He walks right out, phone be damned.

The three coaches are discussing what new strategy to implement after the West Ham fiasco. Trent is nowhere to be seen just yet, it’s unlike him as he has never once been late, but Roy is too focused on his conversation with Beard and Ted to wonder why that is.

Not that he’d worry about it.

He gets the answer minutes later anyway when Trent speed-walks into the office, glasses askew on his face and his hair tied up in a bun so messy it’s not even attempting to keep the hair away from his face.

Trent drops his messenger bag, yanks his notebook out of his breast pocket, and then he is rushing to join them, trying and failing to appear composed.

“Well, hello there, Sport,” Ted welcomes him with a bright smile. “Everything alright? It’s not like you to be so late.”

“Quite,” Trent replies, slightly out of breath. “There was a bit of a glitter incident this morning, that’s all.”

That’s when Roy notices it. Trent’s cheeks are covered with specks of glitter that catch the light as he talks. It reminds him of Keeley and how she would put golden glitter sometimes, it makes me sparkle, she’d say. Roy regrets never telling her she didn’t need it to be shine brighter than anything he’d ever seen.

“You’ll be finding it everywhere for months,” Ted quips. “One time Henry and I, we were making these Christmas cards to all our friends and family, and we decided to have this glitter fight because Henry didn’t much agree with my choice of color coordination. Now let me tell you, Michelle was right mad at the mess we made, I’m sure she’s still finding glitter all these years after.”

“I’m sure,” Trent replies easily.

Ted’s gaze narrows. Ah, so he’s noticed the glitter as well. Roy feels like swearing all of the sudden.

“You’ve still got some there,” Ted says softly.

And then. Then he brings his thumb to his mouth where his tongue comes out to meet it in a slow, almost sensual gesture, his lips all but kissing it, his eyes never leaving Trent’s.

Trent stands rooted in place, mesmerized, his own eyes wide and unblinking as he stares up at Ted. Ted who brings his thumb to the spot of glitter on Trent’s cheek and starts wiping, conscious and gentle.

Roy is also stunned, though not for the same reasons.

Slowly, he turns to Beard. Are you seeing this shit? he asks without a word. Beard gives a slight nod to confirm that he is, indeed, seeing this shit.

Why is Roy still in the room? He should have left as soon as Trent walked in, honestly he should just walk away any time he sees Ted and Trent in the same vicinity, but for some unfathomable reasons, Roy is still standing there. His attention is returned to the two men who are making his life hell with their longing and rampant sexual tension.

Ted’s hand drops away from Trent’s face.

“Thank you,” Trent whispers, his voice so low Roy barely catches it.

For fuck’s sake. Have they forgotten they aren’t alone in the room? They are lost in their own little world of two, nothing existing around them but each other’s eyes and smiles.

“Sure thing, darling,” Ted tells him, his accent undermining the rhyme.

Trent giggles.

Trent Crimm, the man who’s made many a professional footballer cry with his scathing exposés and sardonic questions, the man who Roy used to think was always so composed and assured, that Trent Crimm giggles.

Roy snaps.

He spins around, grabs Beard by the arm and drags him away from this insanity that they’ve been witnessing.

Of course, neither Ted nor Trent notice their leaving.

“We need to do something about this,” Roy declares.

“Do something about what?” Higgins asks, confused about the brusque intrusion but ready to roll with whatever dilemma his dear Diamond Dogs bring about, and fuck, Roy will never admit that he thinks of himself as a Diamond Dog or he’ll never hear the end of it.

“Ted and Trent,” Beard quips.

“Oh, alright.”

Higgins doesn’t appear to be surprised at this, but of course he wouldn’t be. Roy is sure that half of the club has noticed the tension between the gaffer and the ex-journo, and the other half is sure to follow soon.

“So you agree we need to do something,” Roy says, a tad desperate.

“Well.” Higgins pauses. “No?”

On a good day, Roy Kent has a set amount of patience which is not much admittedly, but still, he has some of it. Today has only just begun and already it hasn’t been a good one. It’s been weeks of this dancing around, these yearning looks and hopeful smiles and broken smiles that only come with assured unrequited feelings.

Roy is sick of it.

He’s sick of this hopeful tentative thing forming before him, this something of magnitude that only reminds him of how alone and stupid he feels. Because he had a something, and he threw it away, and now he stands before Jamie’s door at 4AM everyday and there’s an inkling there, a possibility he won’t let himself acknowledge.

Feelings isn’t something he knows to deal with all that well.

“It’s better not to meddle,” Beard agrees. “They’ll come to their senses at some point.”

“When though?” Roy grunts. “They keep making moon eyes at each other, and I am this close to throw them into a closet and throw away the key.”

Beard’s left eyebrow rises as he thinks it over.

“No,” Higgins says. “We shall do nothing of the sort, I’m sure they’ll act on their feelings soon.”

His expression turns from certitude to doubt.

“I hope so, at least.”

Roy swears.

So they have decided not to intervene. Great, Roy can do that.

Except that he really can’t. He’s tried it, and he can’t.

And this is what breaks him.

It’s late after a match. Richmond has lost because that’s what they’ve been doing since West Ham, even with fucking Zava on their team.

The mood is down, even Roy is too tired to be angry about the loss. He wants to go to bed and forget everything for a few blessed hours before his alarm wakes him up at 3:30, before he has to ignore his own maybe-perhaps-but-surely-not pining and the strange little thrills he gets when Jamie directs a bright smile at him.

The team trickles out, the locker room quiet and subdued, until there is no one left but Roy, as well as Ted and Trent who are sitting side by side, each on the opposite end of their bench in the little corner Trent has all but called his own.

“This is just a bad pass,” he is saying. “This is a great team you have, they will find their footing again, and you will help them get there.”

Trent’s reassurances fall on deaf ears. Ted forces a smile on his lip that’s more of a grimace than anything.

“Just gotta believe, right?”

There’s none of his usual pep in it.

After a short goodbye that’s very telling of his true state of mind, Ted is fast out of the door. Roy turns to Trent to bid him good night as well, but the words die on his lip at the wretched sight he makes.

Standing, hand frozen mid-air in an aborted motion, Trent stares, lost, in the direction Ted went in. carved onto his expressive face is a look of absolute heartbreak, of helplessness too.

This is the face of a man in love who can’t do anything about it. Roy knows this face very well, he sees it every day in the mirror.

“Why don’t you tell him?”

Trent startles out of his staring.

“Beg your pardon?”

Roy doesn’t deign answer that with a sentence, a pointed look will suffice. Trent’s face does something very complicated, several expressions flashing across it at the same time before being replaced by another myriad of unspoken feelings.

It settles on resignation. It looks oddly out of place there.

“I don’t plan on telling him.”

There’s finality in it. Trent goes to their shared office to retrieve his messenger bag as if there is nothing more to say. Really, there shouldn’t be. Roy doesn’t have to say anything to that, what he already said is more than he was planning on. It’s also very clear that Trent doesn’t want to continue this particular conversation.

They should go their separate ways and pretend this conversation never happened.

So why can’t Roy let it go?

“Let’s go for a pint,” he says.

Trent turns to look at him, his eyebrow rising in question.

“Not the Crown and Anchor,” he replies.

“Of course not, who the fuck do you take me for.”

There is a moment’s hesitation in which Roy thinks Trent will say no, and the decision whether to keep on drilling him about Ted will be made for him. But Trent surprises him once again.

“Let me call my father, tell him I’ll be late to pick up my daughter.”

They sit across each other in the booth of a small pub Roy has been going to since he was a teenager. No one cares that he’s Roy Kent here and the beer is good.

“Why are you being a knob about it?” Roy jumps straight at it. “Just tell him and put us out of our misery.”

He’s not used to see Trent look like this – defeated. For as long as he’s known him, Trent Crimm has been assured, always looking for weaknesses in others so that he could write about it. Then Roy got to know the man and not the journalist

To see him with his shoulders down and his eyes tired, it’s wrong.

“I don’t pretend that you can understand,” he says tiredly, “the unique kind of agony that is falling for a straight man.”

Roy’s mind flashes to Jamie Tartt for some bloody reason, and he hastens to bury the thought hard and deep.

“Why are you so sure he is,” Roy replies, so flat it isn’t even pretending to be a question.

He isn’t certain of it, but to him, it does look quite obvious that Ted isn’t straight. No one talks that much about rugby men’s tights without being interested in more than the sport.

“Even if he weren’t, I’d be the last person he would ever be interested in, or have you forgotten the article I wrote disclosing his panic attacks?”

Breathe, babe, you can’t forget to breathe, yeah? That’s what Keeley used to tell him, and he really is trying to breathe but Trent, with his sad, resigned eyes, isn’t making it easy. Once more, Roy wonders why he decided to step in.

Then he thinks about witnessing another bout of pathetic pining and shivers.

“Trent, I’ve never pegged you for a complete imbecile.”

“Why, thank you.”

Roy swears he can feel the white hairs growing upon his head.

“I can’t risk losing everything,” Trent continues. “I was aimless as a journalist, quitting was the best decision I’ve ever made, and being here? This is what I’ve been missing. I’m– well, I’m happy here. I’m writing about something I care about and believe in.”

“So you’re really not going to say anything?” he asks despite already knowing the answer.

“I’m not planning on confessing my misguided feelings to Ted only to be let down no. Though I suspect he would be unbearably kind about it.”

He would be so fucking nice about it. Roy can picture Ted’s big brown eyes shining with regret and apologies as he gently explains that sorry, he isn’t feeling the same way, but Trent is for sure a catch.

Not that Roy thinks that would be Ted’s reaction to a Trent Crimm confession of love.

Love. Because yes, of course Trent is in love with Ted. It’s not about fancying him for a quick shag or two. He’s thought it before but there really is no denying it now.

“Fucking hell,” Roy mutters.

“Cheers,” Trent replies and raises his glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

Talking to Trent solved nothing.

Roy could stop there, he tried, it didn’t work, and it’s not his fault if Trent is a pining no-brain two who refuses to see what’s right in front of him.

Still. He can’t exactly blame Trent for it.

He hadn’t thought about it before Trent mentioned falling for a straight man, but it’s true that, if those feelings weren’t reciprocated, Trent had more to lose than Ted did. It mustn’t have been easy being an out journalist, especially reporting on football.

Roy has caught glimpses of some of it, the unkind jokes, the sneering, the hateful looks.

Even then, Roy tried harder than he should have. In fact, he shouldn’t have tried at all and, hell, maybe Keeley is right and he’s got something of a soft heart beneath all his brooding and swearing.

Said heart pangs when he thinks of her still. Idly, he wonders how long it will take to stop missing her.

There is only himself to blame though, so he shoves the longing down, down with the thoughts of Jamie’s earnest smile and floppy hair, down where he can ignore it.

There is nothing to do about all that, but he can help the two pining idiots get over themselves.

It’s for his own peace of mind, nothing else.

Roy doesn’t like Ted’s flat much. It doesn’t feel like Ted at all, it’s empty and subdued and nowhere near as messy as it ought to be.

He knows Ted didn’t have a choice in the colour of the walls or the furniture, but it’s lacking in personal touches.

No matter what Roy’s feelings on it are, this is where he and Ted meet once a month to discuss club matters. At least, that’s what called Ted first called it. In reality, it’s just an excuse for Ted to have some one-on-one time with Roy and make sure that everything is going well with him at AFC Richmond.

Roy allows it because he knows that Ted blames himself for not seeing Nate’s growing resentment.

Also, Ted’s biscuits are very fucking good.

In truth, too, it’s nice. Ever since his break-up with Keeley, Roy has had more time on his time that he knows what to do with it. The early work-out sessions with Jamie have helped. They also make sure Roy is knocked out in bed by 8PM which is an added bonus.

Roy is drinking the tea he’s brought because he doesn’t trust Ted nowhere near a kettle, and Ted is enjoying a cup with so much sugar and milk it has no rights to be called coffee.

Ted’s rambling lulls, and a comfortable silence settles between the two coaches. Some would not think him capable of it, but Ted knows when to stop chattering and appreciate the quiet of a moment.

“I haven’t asked yet,” Ted says to break the silence, his tone gentle, “I think maybe because I’ve been dealing with stuff of my own – which, by the way, I’m finally addressing. But if you want to talk about Keeley with me, I’d listen.”

The urge to tell Ted to shut up, and to change the topic – maybe even straight-up leave. He doesn’t though.

Ted is his friend. Roy is never going to be one of those people who say often what they feel about the people in his life, but he isn’t emotionally stunted. He knows what they mean to him, even if it’s hard to admit it sometimes.

“There’s nothing to say. I broke up with her because I got scared.”

Ted’s eyes widen imperceptibly. It’s clear he wasn’t expecting Roy to open up quite so easily, but he’s quick to smooth his face into an open expression.

“Why were you scared then?” he asks. “It was obvious to anyone looking that you had a good thing going on with her.”

He really did. He loved her, still loves her, and yet he left her because it’s better than being left behind, and Roy has never known to enjoy something without thinking of how it’d end.

“I think because it was too good,” Roy confesses.

“It might not to be too late, you know. You really were a strong couple, and she’d listen to you if you explained the real reasons you broke things off with her. Maybe getting back together won’t be exactly like how you left things, but maybe that’s for the better, too.”

There’s something in the way that Ted says it.

Oh. He knows then, about this Jamie-and-Keeley thing.

“Huh.”

“You may have noticed,” Ted continues, “I haven’t been quite myself lately, or rather I have but not the myself I wanna be. I’ve just been lost in the parts of Ted Lasso that I don’t really like, you know? The parts I don’t like to think about. I think I got lost in it a bit, so much that I thought that was just who I was – but it ain’t. The dark parts are still there but they aren’t all of me, and I know it’s going to get better. I’m already getting better. All those dark thoughts I have, they don’t have the same power over me.”

Roy nods, pensive. He’s glad to hear Ted is doing better after these past few weeks in which he’d dragged this added shadow to his step.

They are men in sports and there’s this prevalent idea of not getting involved, not saying anything even if you see someone struggling. Let them pull themselves up, wait to see if they reach out. Roy thinks it’s all wrong.

Perhaps getting involved, offering insight even when it’s not asked for, is the way to go.

He wasn’t there to offer help when Ted was in the mist of a mental health crisis despite the warning signs. It’s possible he wouldn’t have known how to help then, but he can help him now, with this less tremendous thing.

“So what are you going to do?” Roy asks.

Ted’s eyebrows crease in slight confusion, “What about? The team or life in general?”

“About Trent.”

An expression of absolute bafflement falls upon Ted’s face. It battles with a mix of awe and worry also, a strange combination that should only work for a man as full of contradictions as Ted Lasso.

“What about Trent?” Ted aims for composed and fails miserably.

“You like him.”

“I mean, yes of course I like Trent Crimm, Independent! Who doesn’t? You like him, too, Waterloo, I’ve seen the two of you have several civil conversations. You’re not fooling me.”

Roy’s skin crawls. Having heart to heart isn’t his forte, but he’s started this and he will see it finished.

“Look, perhaps you’ve played for the same team your entire life and you never thought about playing for another team. Hell, I know I haven’t, but now I’m wondering and there’s no shame in that. Perhaps for you this isn’t the first time you’ve wondered, maybe you’ve even played that game before, I don’t fucking know.”

“No, I haven’t,” Ted confesses. “I’ve had moments where I thought– but no, I’ve never done anything about it.”

“Right, well. Maybe you weren’t ready or they weren’t the right team for you.” He pauses then swears. “Fuck, I can’t tell you what to do or feel, I’m just saying you should think about it.”

Ted’s eyes falls to his latte.

Silence stretches again between them, not as easy-going as it was earlier but not suffocating, not pressing. The both of them have some introspection to do.

Roy eats another biscuit, chewing with a bit more force than necessary.

“Sport,” Ted drawls. “What a metaphor.”

The week that follows their conversation, Roy finds Ted quieter than usual though lighter also.

Often now, Roy bears witness to Ted’s silent musing, gaze targeted on Trent who appears wary about this new development.

Trent in return shoots Roy suspicious glances that Roy simply ignores.

The ball is in their court.

It comes to no surprise that Roy, unwilling witness as he is, should be faced with its resolution.

It happens during lunch break. Most of the team is at the cafeteria, including Beard. Roy has finished his meal quickly because to review a few tactics before they are set off to start working again.

Of fucking course, Ted and Trent are in the office, standing close and talking softly.

Roy is ready to turn around and make his exit, yet he’s stopped in his tracks.

Something is happening there.

He could go and leave them to it, but there’s also a part of him that wants to make sure they aren’t being idiots again. So, silent and unnoticed, he walks closer to listen in.

“So there you have it,” Ted is saying. “I think I’ve liked you for a long time but I was too blind to see it. You know what they say about having it right in front of you. But I want to make clear that I don’t expect anything from you, alright? I’m just telling you because I believe in honesty, honesty with yourself and with the people that matter to you. I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t ever keep to myself how I value others.”

“Ted,” Trent sighs and he sounds oh so very besotted. “I’m afraid you’re still blind. I’ve destroyed my decade-long journalism career because it forced me into a position to hurt you. I’m here at Richmond not to write about the club, but to write about you. Ted. Of course I have feelings for you. Don’t be daft.”

Roy can see enough into the room to see the beaming smile of one Ted Lasso and the adoring shine of one Trent Crimm’s eyes.

He’s seen enough, more than enough in fact.

But now, at least, his nightmare has ended, and he won’t have to suffer their pining and flirting any more.

Still quiet, Roy goes away before they can spot him.

As he makes his way back to the cafeteria, Roy ponders about the merits of being brave and facing one’s fears. It may be time to follow his own advice.

There’s this new recipe he wanted to try and make – if he had some guests, it could be the excuse he needed to make it.

Roy arrives at Richmond AFC feeling lighter than he had in weeks. The team is still losing, but his training with Jamie is going great and he has no doubt the prick will outclass Zava soon enough.

More than that, Roy has reached out to Keeley and together and with Jamie too, they are heading somewhere with this something between them. It’s tentative, uncertain, but it’s hopeful.

There’s something to be said about trying, about staying and enjoying it while it lasts because perhaps, if they’re lucky, this thing will last for a long time.

Roy walks into the coaches’ office lost in thoughts.

His musing is soon crushed though as he finds himself staring in horror at Ted tucking Trent’s hair behind his ear, the both of them gazing openly and lovingly at each other.

No.

This was supposed to get better. They were supposed to stop with the lovey-dovey shit.

Oh, fuck.

By helping them get together, Roy has made it worse – out with the pining, and in with the blatant adoration.

“Fucking hell you two,” Roy swears, already turning around. “Get a room.”

“We are in a room,” Trent points you, “you walked in there.”

Roy doesn’t answer, but he does give them the middle finger.

Good thing that he has his back turned to them, he couldn’t let them know that he’s fighting a smile.

#tedtrent #tedependent #tedtrent fic #ted lasso #roy kent #trent crimm #my writing #this is so messy but also i enjoyed writing it so there you have it #please if you read it and you like it do consider leaving a comment and/or reblogging this post #literally i need feedback to live lol #also i haven't posted in a while and i'm like?? so nervous about this for some reason???

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gingerbloof · 5 months

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i’m actually so nervous about this fic i really hope you guys like it 😭

#never been this nervous before #HDVEHWJ #please leave my feedback i desperately need of #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #bg3 fanfiction #astarion x tav #bg3 tav

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bigfemboyenergy · 2 months

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CHAPTER 1 - NEW FACES IN AMITY FALLS

Summer is upon the town of Amity Falls, Oregon. Innocent residents of Amity Falls, unaware of what will soon plague their summer, begin to ready themselves for vacation. Students go to school for the last day before it officially lets out, setting them up for the season.

It is mid-afternoon, and school has just let out. Danny, Tucker, and Sam find themselves walking home, excitement hanging in the air due to their break.

Danny smiles absentmindedly as Tucker strikes up conversation. “So, Danny, what do you plan on doing during summer break? I know me and Sam have plans, but you haven’t told us about what you’re going to do yet,” Tucker says, with a grin. Danny snaps out of his “trance” and looks over at Tucker, keeping the walking pace. “I wasn’t planning on doing much. Maybe a bit of stargazing? I think exploring the area would be nice. I don’t have anything definitive, if that’s what you mean, Tuck,” Danny responds. Sam chimes in, “You know, Danny, wouldn’t it be nice to get away? Maybe a week of traveling? We should make our plans concrete. Though, if we don’t go anywhere, I bet there would be enough local stuff for us to do.” With a chuckle, Danny shrugs at his two best friends. “Whatever works best for you guys. I seem to have completely forgotten everything I like.” The trio laughs softly as they continue on their way home, each stopping when it’s their turn to split and head to their respective houses.

Soon enough, Danny arrives at his over-advertised home. The large sign on the top of his house is lit up and flashing, as if trying to celebrate the end of a school year with the now-free students. He enters slowly, turning the doorknob with caution. Breathing out a sigh of relief at the lack of his parents’ presence, he steps inside. It doesn’t seem like anyone is home. Danny, in a bit of an impulsive manner, decides to head to the basement, just for a quick look at his parents’ Ghost Portal. It isn’t functional, not yet, but he finds himself intrigued by it. He wishes he could take a quick look inside it..but chooses to play it safe and go back upstairs. While Danny begins to head upstairs from the main floor, he hears the front door open, signaling Jazz’s arrival. Turning to face her, he smiles and waves, greeting his sister as he walks up the stairs and over to his room. Without a thought, he enters his room and plops down onto his bed. He allows his thoughts to flood his brain, thinking to himself about how the school year is finally over, like it had gone in a flash of months that felt like minutes. I wonder what I should do this summer, he thought. Don’t wanna get too bored. Danny stretches out on his bed, losing himself in his ideas and fantasies. Oh right, I have to go to work tomorrow.

A bus comes to a halt in front of its stop. Two short, similar-looking children, clearly twins, get off of said bus, and look around. Dipper, the slightly uninterested one of the two, looks around boredly; Mabel, the excited one, gazes around at all of the people. With a sigh, Dipper looks at Mabel. “Do you think there could be anything abnormal here? It’s all I can think about. This place looks almost..too normal,” Dipper says, with a small frown. Mabel grins excitedly, showing her braces, and shrugs in response. “I know it’s going to be fun, Dipstick, just look on the bright side! I can’t wait to look around!” As she giggles to herself, Dipper notices a sign in the distance. It reads, “The Mystery Shack”, and has an arrow pointing towards where it might be. With an eyebrow raised, Dipper grabs ahold of Mabel’s wrist and brings her to the sign, to get a closer look. Quietly, he says, “Look. Isn’t this where we’re supposed to go?” Mabel nods, her grin growing wider. She looks in the direction of the arrow, turning her head. “Oh, wow! It’s so..fun looking!” She runs off towards the building in the distance, noticing more “fun” details as she gets closer. Dipper sighs to himself and runs after her. When they both reach the building, they see what looks like a regular house..if not for the intense advertisement of it. There are several signs nearby pointing to it that say “The Mystery Shack!”, and it even says so on the roof, though the “S” has fallen off, confirming that this is their destination. Mabel reaches for the front door, in a hurry to look around. She rushes inside, leaving an unnerved Dipper following after her.

Inside of the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel see many odd things. There are jars of shrunken heads, vials with eyes, and taxidermy creatures that don’t seem quite real. At first, the two are a bit fearful of the sinister objects. But this is just the giftshop, and there is much more for them to see. As they continue to look around, Mabel finds things that appear much more lighthearted and fun. There are pins, t-shirts, and tons of interesting people. She can’t help but feel very excited.. Dipper, however, is looking for, not merch or people, but exhibits. He hurries off behind a curtain and finds that he’s found the place he and Mabel will be staying; the part of the house that hasn’t been turned into a tourist trap. Beginning to wander off on his own, straying from Mabel, he walks through to a living room. Seconds later, he hears someone come up behind him… “Boo!”

Dipper jumps up and turns around, with a high-pitched shriek. He looks up at the person, noting that they’re probably an employee. They hold out their hand for him to shake as they say, “Sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m Wendy Corduroy, by the way. You can just call me Wendy.” Dipper looks up at her, with a small smile. He clears his throat, hoping she “didn’t notice” his girly scream. Taking her hand and shaking it, he says, “Nice to meet you, I’m Dipper Pines.” He immediately notices her chill attitude and cool appearance, and that she’s awfully tall. She is wearing a brown hat, a green plaid jacket with the sleeves rolled up, deep blue jeans, and boots. Dipper truly thinks she looks cool. She grins down at him. “Well, I better get back to work. See ya, Dipper,” she says, as she heads through the curtain and to the gift shop. Silently, Dipper stares at her as she walks away. Mabel pops up suddenly beside him and whispers, “Ooh, you talked to someone? How unexpected! And it was a girl!” with a joking smile on her face. He lightly socks her in the shoulder, with a small grin. “Hey, it’s not like I’m that socially awkward!” They laugh together for a few seconds, before a big, middle-aged man walks up to them.

The man, in an oddly professional outfit coupled with a fez, stands before them. It takes a second, but they remember him. “Welcome to the Mystery Shack! I’m sure you kids are just bubbling with interest!” He chuckles to himself. “Anyway, let me show you to your rooms.” As Stan leads them up the stairs and to the attic, Dipper and Mabel whisper to each other. “So that’s Grunkle Stan. It’s been so long since we last saw him,” Dipper murmurs. Mabel nods, with a fun-loving grin. It’s clear that she’s been looking forward to spending her summer here, in such a different environment. “You’re right, it’s been forever!! Too long. I can’t wait to explore the town and get to know our Grunkle better!” She speeds up, reaching the top of the stairs before Dipper can say anything. He huffs in annoyance at her sudden energy and hurries up to follow her and Stan. When he steps onto the floor, Stan looks back at them, and opens the door to Dipper and Mabel’s new, shared room. Stan grins as he speaks: “Heh, it’s not much yet, but you can decorate it and fill it with whatever you want!” Mabel’s eyes light up with creativity as she bounds into the room and claims the bed on the right. Dipper walks over to the bed on the left. Stan waves goodbye as he closes the door, quickly saying, “Ask me if you need anything!” and leaving them to themselves. Bouncing on the bed, Mabel giggles, “I need glue, I need yarn! Homemade decor, here I come!” She quickly starts unpacking her stuff, aiming to make the room comfortable and covered in decorative crafts. Dipper cautiously unpacks his own bag, with much less enthusiasm. He isn’t the type to care nearly as much about mere decorations, but he does want to add personality to the almost empty room.

After unpacking, Dipper looks out the triangular window. It’s only then that he notices how weird it is to have this type of window..but he doesn’t mind. Surely it has little to no significance, right? He looks back and sees Mabel taping posters to the walls and throwing stuffed animals on her bed. This place doesn’t seem half bad, Dipper thinks to himself. A change of scenery can be a great breath of fresh air. With a tiny grin and a new enthusiasm for tomorrow, he plops onto his bed and decides to think about what he’ll do first.

Danny gets up with a start. He knows his parents are working on something new, since he can hear their yells from his room, though they’ve already started to die down. Too bad he didn’t get to rest much longer. It’s..only 5:30 pm. Ahh, well, I still have the night to sleep through. The nap was nice, though, he thinks. He smiles softly to himself as he leaves his room, heading down the stairs and to the kitchen. With more energy than earlier, Danny greets Jazz when he sees her, and rustles up a quick meal. It isn’t much, but it’ll do; just a sandwich, a bag of chips, and some juice. Nothing wrong with a light meal, is there? Suddenly, his mom, also known as Maddie, walks in the room, giving him a loving hug and wishing him good luck at his job tomorrow, since she won’t be home the next morning, or for the rest of the evening. “I bet tourists will be flooding in, come tomorrow. Better get ready for real business at that old shack!” Danny just nods, agreeing, with a pleasant expression. He hopes it’ll go well, and not be too packed. But, alas, that is a thing for tomorrow Danny to worry about.

As his parents finish up their tinkering and leave their house once more, Danny calls up Tucker and Sam. Jazz is up in her room, which means that Danny and his two best friends have the house mostly to themselves. He hears a knock on the door, walks over, and opens it, inviting his friends in. Tucker steps in first. “So, Danny, anything in particular that you invited us for?” Tucker asks, as he removes his shoes and leaves them next to the door. Danny shrugs: “I mean, I know we’re not really supposed to mess with it, but d’ya wanna go check out the GZ portal? I lowkey can’t stop thinking about how interesting it’d be.” Sam enters, and with a snicker, she proclaims, “Hell yeah, I definitely wanna see. Bet it doesn’t even work, though.” Danny leads Sam and Tucker to the basement, a bit determined to look around in and mess with the portal, hoping it works, just to prove Sam wrong. Soon enough, they all stand in front of the portal, Danny now wearing a Fenton jumpsuit for safety reasons. Sam snatches the Jack Fenton picture off of the suit, with the argument that it looks lame.

Danny steps into the Ghost Zone portal, intrigue and wonder filling every bone in his body, as if anything could happen. He searches for the on button, as he turns around and gives his friends a thumbs up. He finds the button and presses it. An intense flash of green comes from the portal, as Danny screams in complete agony, blasted back by the force. Seconds later, he lays in a heap on the floor, hair white, and eyes green. Even his outfit has swapped colors. Sam and Tucker have no idea how to deal with this shocking, and quite frankly, horrifying situation. Especially since he’s floating in the air.

Back in the Mystery Shack, Dipper is snapped out of his thoughts by an excited, yet tired, Mabel. “Dipstick, look what I did!” she yells, as she waves her arms around her and twirls, as if to show off some sort of transformation. Clearly, she’s talking about what she’s done to make their room feel homier. Now there are arts and crafts decorating every corner of the room, and fun posters covering the walls on her side. She has a knack for art, and Dipper knows this. With a smile, Dipper shoots her a thumbs up. “Looks great, Mabel. Can’t wait for when I find things to decorate my side with.” Now, a shout from Stan interrupts any further conversation: “Dipper, Mabel, dinner’s ready!” Mabel races down the stairs, leaving Dipper to rush down after her. “Hey, wait up!” he shouts, a bit startled by her sudden energy and speed. When they reach the kitchen, Stan offers them some food, and they eat together calmly. Casual conversation overtakes the room.

When the initial conversation ends, Dipper pipes up, “Could we explore the area around the Shack today?” Stan shrugs and laughs, “Do whatever ya want, kid.” Dipper can’t help but feel excited to learn more about the area. He hurriedly finishes eating and dashes out the door, questioning what awaits him.

Outside, in the forest around the Mystery Shack, Dipper drags Mabel along with him, as she still tries to finish her dinner. She’s mildly upset that he forced her to come before she was ready. But she doesn’t seem to mind too much, since she wants to look around too. Dipper eagerly observes the nature he sees, every animal and plant inspiring him. After a long while, he finds something out of the ordinary. A tree, but it seems to be a bit different? He taps on the tree, in a spot where it looks oddly like there is no bark. A metal clanging sound comes from it. He screams to Mabel, “Did you hear that?! Wow, this is so cool-,” before hearing soft snoring coming from Mabel. Seems like she got bored. With a slight frown of discontentment and a shrug, he goes back to looking at the tree. Dipper’s excitement comes back quickly, as he dusts off the tiny metal “door” on the tree. It’s..strange, he thinks to himself. I wonder who did this. Maybe there really are things to research here. He grabs at the hinges of the door, not knowing which side it opens from, at first. With a loud slam, it opens, and inside it, lay a book. Mabel shoots up, startled awake by the noise. The book seems to be some sort of journal, one that has already been written in. With a curious look, Mabel turns to Dipper, in silence. He grabs the book and pockets it. Now this sounds like an adventure.

#help i actually have to leave rn #read it and give feedback #new writer #dp x gf #gf x dp #opinions please #dipper pines #dipper #mabel #mabel pines #danny phantom #danny fenton #new writers on tumblr #random #fun little thing #phantom falls

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cal-puddies · 2 years

Text

Kiss Full of Color Makes me Wonder Where You've Always Been // Luke Hemmings

notes: So this was supposed to be another collab but as @kindahoping4forever mentioned, I was feeling it and Crystal didn't want to interrupt the flow. She did the graphic and is amazing so show her some love too! :) Anyway, we're here to continue our confirmed mind loss in the Luke Lane.

Warnings: Boyfriend!Luke coming in hot with first sex in an established relationship (like it's the first time they are sleeping together not like first time first time.) there is some dirty talk but it's not filthy, just sweet.

Word Count: 4290

Cass Masterlist // Ko-Fis linked in our bios

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

You grumble as you turn over once again, exhausted but unable to sleep. You open your eyes to peek at the clock and grumble again when you see how little time has passed since you last looked. This night feels endless.

Your eyes flicker over to the nightstand and you run through your mental catalog of toys in the drawer, wonder if there’s something in there that could maybe lull you to sleep with an orgasm. You sigh, knowing that’s been a dead end recently. It’s not what you really want.

Your mind naturally lands on the subject of your new boyfriend, Luke. You’ve been dating for a few months now but he’s been gone for most of it, writing a new album with his band. You’ve gotten to know each other quite well via texting and phone calls and you know enough to know you really like him but there’s still a sweet sense of hesitation when it comes to being physical. You’ve fooled around a bit, gotten each other off both in person and on the phone, but you haven’t had sex, haven’t even been naked together yet, which is why it feels a bit weird to be considering calling him at 2AM. In any other context, this would definitely be seen as a booty call.

You shrug, hoping he’ll understand your intentions are pure. You grab your phone and send off a “Hey.” Before you can even set it back down, your screen is lighting up in the dark: he’s calling.

“I was literally just thinking about you,” he says warmly. “Didn’t think you’d still be awake.”

You grin because hearing his voice is actually quite nice. “Eh… having trouble sleeping. What are you up to?”

“Actually, I just got home… you wanna come over? I’m sure we could find something to wear you out.”

You swear you can hear the dirty grin in his voice and you smile, letting your mind wander to the last encounter you had with him before he left town. His broad, shirtless frame hovering over you in a hot and heavy make out session, you sinking your teeth into his shoulder while the two of you ground your hips together, leading up to him going down on you and you reciprocating. It fueled your personal fantasies and your phone sex sessions for weeks afterward.

“It’s late,” you chuckle. Your words are protesting but your body is moving around your room, changing into denim shorts, putting on a bra and looking for a cute top. You weren’t necessarily trying to impress him but you also didn’t want him to think you were a slob.

“But you’re not sleeping and neither am I… plenty of room in this bed if you do get tired…” He lets his point hang there, almost like he knows you’re actually thinking it over. “It’s also late enough that traffic won’t be an issue and if you come here, we don’t have to worry about waking up your roommate.”

“Seems like you’ve got an answer for everything… are you trying to take advantage of me?” You joke, already packing a bag to take with you.

“I don't think I’d call it taking advantage… seem to remember you inviting yourself into my lap last time I saw you,” he jokes. “But if you truly just wanna come sleep in my bed, I’m fine with that too. I'd just like to see ya.”

“Are you asking me to sleep over?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess I am. You coming?”

“I’m already out the door, Hemmings.”

“I guess I’ll see you soon. Drive safe.”

Luke leans against the door frame, wearing a well worn shirt, holes displaying his skin, and loose basketball shorts. When you’re within arms reach, he grins and reaches for you, cupping your face to pull you in for a kiss. “Hi,” he murmurs, pulling you inside.

“Hey,” you smile at him. He grabs your bag and takes it to his room while you kneel to pet Petunia.

He pads back out to where you are. “Want wine or anything?” He asks.

“Uh… sure, a glass could be nice,” you agree. He grabs your hand to lead you to the kitchen and you notice the house is mostly dark, save for a couple lamps emitting a soft glow.

You watch him effortlessly reach for a couple glasses and he picks a bottle from the wine rack. He hands it to you: it’s red and definitely more expensive than anything you’d buy, but you nod. He pours the glasses and hands you one, making eye contact.

His blue eyes were absolutely the first thing you’d noticed about him, followed by how broad he was. But you couldn’t say what you liked more now that you’d gotten your hands on him.

You stand and sip for a moment before he wraps his arm around you and walks you to his room. It’s brighter in the room and his suitcase is on the floor and open, clearly rummaged through.

“I missed you, you know,” he murmurs, pulling you in by the waist.

“I missed you,” you admit, hugging him. He kisses the top of your head as his arm tightens around you.

He holds you for a little longer before sitting on his bed. He watches as you look around his room. “Oh… you’ve never been in here before, have you?”

“Nope,” you shake your head. “I think this is only the third time I’ve been to your house at all.”

He pulls you over and sets the wine glasses on the bedside table. His hands rest on the back of your thighs while your arms immediately go around his neck.

His head tilts back and he looks up at you, you push his curls off his face and lean in for a kiss, letting your fingers gently scratch at his scruff. He lets out a quiet moan and pulls back just enough to say “Yeah.” Before you realize what’s happening, he’s sliding his hands down and smoothly pulling from behind your knees so you’ll straddle him.

“Oh!” You yelp with surprise.

He smiles wide as you settle onto his lap. His hands caress your waist and you lean in for another kiss. He quickly deepens it and you tangle your fingers in his curls, enjoying the contact and the kissing and his hot little moans when you bite his lip.

His hands move down to your ass, giving a squeeze, you drop your hands to his waist and gently push under the hem of his shirt, grazing your fingertips along his sides, gently stroking his skin with your thumbs. He lets out a soft sigh and you decide that you want to hear all his noises. You’re sure you’ve heard a lot of them, probably even most of them, but you want more to power those nights when he’s away.

He interrupts your thought process, pulling out of the kiss to reach behind his head and pull his shirt off. He leans in to kiss you but you pull back, trying to get a good look at his shirtless frame.

“Oh, I’m sorry, should I not…” he starts.

You grin at him and shake your head, “I just wanna look at you. Trying to familiarize myself with the expanse of your shoulders.” You drag your fingers from his neck across his shoulders. “Your freckles…”

He takes a deep breath, smiling softly at you. “Take your time.” You lean in to kiss him, relaxing your body against him. You gently scratch through his chest hair and his fingers work at the buttons on your shirt. “You’re gorgeous, y’know,” he murmurs.

“And you're incredibly handsome.” You rest your forehead against his as he pushes your shirt off your shoulders; you shrug it the rest of the way off and he starts kissing on the newly exposed skin.

It’s when he grabs you by your hips and tosses you onto your back that you decide that if he’s ready for sex tonight, then you definitely are too. He lays next to you and you kiss his nose before slotting your lips together.

Luke drags his hand up your body, tucking his fingertips under the hem of your bralette as his lips work down your neck. His hand engulfs your breast, fingers tugging your nipple. It’s the first time you realize he’s got his rings on because they feel so cool against your skin.

“Lu,” you moan, taking a couple shallow breaths.

He pushes up and sits back on his heels. He freezes with his hand on your breast, his other hand midway through pushing up your thigh. “Sorry,” he pants. “Do you wanna stop?”

“Quite the opposite, handsome.” You snap the waist of his shorts with one hand and your other encourages him to continue massaging you. You tease, “Is it usually your instinct to stop when a girl moans for you?”

He smiles. “Just don’t want to push too far,” he replies, letting his fingers graze over the front of your panties through the leg of your shorts. “It’s been a while since we've done anything together… in person, anyway. Just wanna make sure we want the same things.”

“I was gonna tease you for being shy but asking for consent is actually so fucking hot,” you groan, pushing your hips against his hand. “I promise you’ll know if I want to stop… but right now I’m ready to hear all your sounds and dirty words in person,” you admit, reaching your hand out to gently run your fingertips over his stomach.

He shudders at your touch, but stays where he’s at, his fingers still slowly and lightly brushing over the front of your panties. He eyes you closely as he pushes the fabric out of the way in favor of sliding his fingers through your folds. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean, grinning as you watch him curiously, “You taste better than I remember,” he comments as a cocky smirk crosses his features.

“You just gonna stare or are you gonna come down here and take care of me?”

“Oh, I’ll take care of you.” He grins and leans back in, pressing his lips to yours. He tugs at the button on your shorts and you lift your hips so he can pull them down and toss them across the room. You grab his face and pull him into another kiss, but it doesn’t last long.

His lips move down your neck, marking your collarbone. “Thought about you a lot while I was gone,” he mumbles. “Thought about that night before I left… how wet you got for me. Came just thinking about getting you to make those noises for me again.”

“Thought about you like that too, Lu… so noisy while I sucked your cock… such a turn on.” You tangle your fingers in his hair, arching your body into his kisses and touch, the dirty words comfortably spilling from your lips after weeks of phone sex.

He looks up at you, wide smile spreading across his face briefly before his lips press between your ribs. Both hands work on pushing your bra up so he can take it off of you. He looks you over quickly before leaning back into you to mouth over your breasts, finally sucking a nipple into his mouth.

Luke adjusts, putting a thigh between yours and you can feel how hard he is through the thin fabric of his shorts. You push his curls off his forehead and he looks up at you, eyes intense and full of lust. He pulls his mouth off, switches sides and uses his tongue to tease your nipple, circling it, flicking over it, never dropping eye contact.

You arch into him again, moaning at the fresh friction from the new placement of his thigh, he moans out too, squeezing his eyes closed.

You drag your fingertips over the back of his neck and down his shoulder. “Fuck Lu… missed the weight of you.”

“Missed your dirty little whines… been thinking about the way you’d take my cock, how tight and wet your pussy would feel around me,” he rasps, kissing down your body. He makes it to your belly button before you pull him back up by his hair. “How you’d look riding me…”

You moan out against his mouth. “Been thinking about that too.” Your words come out breathy as you grind against him and work your lips against his jaw, up to his ear, pulling his head back for better access. “Your hands on me, everywhere… grabbing my ass, you watching your cock disappear into me while I bounce on it, nails digging into your chest…” His hips hit extra hard at that and he strangles out a moan.

“Oh… fuck,” he groans as your teeth graze down his neck. His breath is shaky. “Wanna know how you’d sound, look, while I drive my hips up into you,” he moans. “Watch bruises form on your skin from how tight I hold you.”

You can feel the wet spot from his precum on your thigh and you reach down to cup his cock through his shorts. “Jesus, Lu, you’re gonna have us both cumming before either of us gets naked,” you groan, rolling your hips against his.

His breath is ragged as he presses your lips together. The kiss is slow and his body stills, allowing him to clear his head. “Mmm… you’re right babe, we gotta slow this down. Wanna enjoy you.” He kisses down your body, this time taking your underwear off. He kisses on both of your thighs, marking one and making sure to give you beard burn on the other, knowing you like that. He finally licks up the juices pooling at your entrance. Your body shudders at the feeling and his grip tightens at your hip and around your thigh. “I’ve got you, sweet thing,” he soothes. “You taste so damn good… so wet… bet I could just…” His voice trails off as he slowly presses two fingers into you. “Yeah… thought so,” he murmurs, easily working them in and out.

You look down at him, watching him both concentrated and amazed at how easily he’s able to work his fingers in and out of you. You wipe both hands over your face because you feel so damn good… and then his lips wrap around your clit and your hips buck and you claw at any skin of his you can reach. “Oh, oh… Lu… baby… please.”

He hums against you, amused, happy to have a moment to calm his body so he can thoroughly enjoy wrecking you. He keeps his fingers working at a moderate pace, curling into the spot that makes you pull at his curls, buck your hips and try desperately to push his face closer to you. His fingers continue but he pulls his lips away. You whine desperately and his eyes light up with joy. You watch him devilishly lick his lips, knowing your eyes are concentrated on him - he’s driving you wild and he knows it. “That’s good, babe,” he praises. “Gonna cum for me?”

The teasing lilt in his voice is even hotter in person than it was on the phone and then there’s the smirk that accompanies it that you didn’t get to see before. Your teeth are sunk so deep in your lip you’re sure you should be bleeding. “Yeah,” you breathe. “Yes… please, Lu.”

His lips wrap back around your clit, fingers still working. He doesn’t bother trying to hold your hips down because he’s particularly fond of your sounds and the way you tug his hair. He hears the whine he knows well and it’s even better in person than it is over the phone. Your chest heaves and you clench around his fingers. He moans at the feeling but quickly withdraws. He slows his tongue down, working you through the orgasm until you're pushing him away.

You tug his hair to pull him up, grabbing his jaw to pull him into a kiss. “Missed your mouth,” you moan.

“You taste so so good.”

“You got condoms?” You ask, blinking innocently up at him. You watch his face soften briefly and he rests above you on his elbows.

“We don’t have to go there…”

You squeeze his hips. “Lu, we’ve got like four options here: We call it a night, I blow you, you go jerk off or we could finally have sex since you’re finally going to be home for more than three days.” Your fingers pull up his sides and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in. “And I’d prefer the last option… if you want to, of course.”

“Of course I want to,” he replies, slotting your lips together. He sits back on his heels, smiling widely at you, and you run your hands up his thighs under his shorts. He reaches into the nightstand and tosses a bottle of lube and a condom onto the bed.

You lick your lips as you move your hands up, over the tent in his shorts, to his hips. You slip your hands into the waistband and he quickly gets the point; he hops up off the bed, shimmying the shorts off. You hear the dull thud of his cock hitting his stomach and then he’s standing stark naked in front of you.

You sit up on your knees to take in the sight of him: he looks deliciously contradictory, somehow both angelic and sinful. His large, intimidating frame looms over you while his soft curls fall perfectly in his face, despite your hands tugging at them every which way. His blue eyes shine with both affection and lust, his tongue that just made you see stars peeks out from between his perfectly pink lips. The mark you’ve left on his neck, the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows thickly, his expansive shoulders, broad chest, the thick tufts of hair on his chest… there’s so much you want to get your hands on immediately but you want to stop and appreciate him more. “You look like you could eat me up right now,” he hums with a grin.

You smile up at him, reaching out to trace the puzzle piece tattoo on his ribs before pulling him in by his hips to look for more tattoos you hadn’t gotten to see before. You nip at his belly button appreciatively, run your fingers over his inked skin, stopping specifically to trace over his thigh tattoo.

His hand smooths over your hair. “Honey,” he murmurs, waiting for you to make eye contact. “First time naked together and I feel like you’re just here for the tattoos,” he quips, smiling.

“There’s just so much to see… appreciate… and I definitely do appreciate what I’m seeing,” you flirt, dragging your fingertips up his thigh, grazing the underside of his cock.

“Well… I like the way you're looking at me,” he rasps. Both hands tuck into your hair as he cradles your face and pulls you in for a kiss. Your hand wraps around his cock and he shudders. “I’m not gonna be able to take much more,” he admits, looking at you, still holding your face.

You pull him onto the bed with you. “Then let’s stop stalling.”

He pulls you in for another kiss and then the two of you are moving, trying to figure out positioning. It takes a few minutes before you're both laying back, heads on the same pillow, soft open mouth kisses while your hands explore a little more. He squeezes your ass and pulls you tighter against his body and that’s what ultimately gets you to roll him onto his back so you can straddle him.

“This OK for you?” You ask, reaching for the condom and lube.

“If it’s what you want,” he breathes. “I’ve got no problem with this. Gorgeous girl, great view…” You hand him the lube and unwrap the condom; you lean in to kiss him and roll the condom on while he pushes two lube covered fingers into you to spread it around.

You moan as he twists his fingers around and when he pulls out, you push yourself up and steady yourself against his firm chest with one hand, using the other to swipe the head of his cock through your folds, positioning at your entrance. You slowly start to take his cock, having to do a few shallow bounces before taking more of him, again and again until he’s bottomed out.

His head is already thrown back, eyes screwed shut, a slight pant leaving his lips. One hand grips tightly around your hip while the other cups your face, thumb tugging your bottom lip.

He whimpers as you roll your hips, a quiet moan leaves your mouth too. His eyes open and he finds you quickly, watching your body as you find a rhythm that causes both of you to moan. He doesn’t let go of your hip - in fact, you can feel the bruise forming - but his free hand explores your body.

You watch him watch you, his eyes are all over your body, fascinated as his cock disappears inside you, the way your body moves, working to bring pleasure to you both. He groans, “You feel so good.”

“Luke,” you gasp, slowing down a bit.

He bites his lip and asks, “Babe, can I?” You nod, lids half closed. He grips your hips and pushes you up a bit, planting his feet on the bed so he can thrust up into you. He quickly speeds up and you drop your hands to his chest, bracing yourself for the way his hips pound into yours, the slapping of skin just barely louder than the whimpers falling from your lips, the moaning and groaning from his.

You somehow pick up on his familiar whine, between all the other noises in the room, your own included.

“Holy fuck.” He cries out and you watch him strain for a couple more thrusts before making a deliciously dirty sound as he cums into the condom. He drops his hips back to the bed and gives you an extra tight squeeze at your hips.

You collapse forward on his chest. “Feel good, baby? Sound so fuckin’ good when you cum,” you pant, kissing on his neck, scratching your fingers through his chest hair.

“Yeah… yeah.” He nods, finally letting go of your hips. You push up and lay next to him, kissing him passionately. “Noticed you weren’t making your typical noises,” he points out quietly.

“Nah… but it always takes me a while to finish with new partners… plus you gave me a killer orgasm before, so…” you shrug, pecking his lips. You notice the concern in his eyes and reassure him, “Don’t think it wasn’t pleasurable for me just because I didn’t, Lu. You felt amazing and I can’t wait for us to do this more. But I’m happy to finish myself for now.”

“I’d be happy to help,” he offers, face going a little red.

You cup his face and offer him another soft kiss. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and then we’ll see about me.”

You’re still catching your breath when Luke comes back and he very quickly climbs on the bed, pulling you over and onto your side, hooking your leg over his hip. He kisses you as his fingers sneak between your thighs. “Mmm…” he hums. “Still wet for me.”

Luke’s lips kiss along your jaw until he’s nipping your earlobe and his two fingers push back into you as his thumb toys with your clit, quickly working you up again. You almost expect him to pick up into dirty talk again but instead he meets your moans into his ear with moans of his own, quickly hurtling you toward orgasm. You pull him closer, suddenly needing to feel his body against yours. His chest hair rubbing against your nipples is unlike any sensation you’ve ever felt before and it pushes you over the edge.

“Oh fuck… Luke,” you moan. Your fingers dig into his shoulders, teeth sinking into his chest as you try to muffle the desperate whine you let out as you cum. His fingers slow, thumb rubbing light circles over your clit as you come down.

You look up and the two of you share several slow kisses. He pulls his fingers away and cradles you closer to his body, letting you catch your breath. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead before showing you into the bathroom to clean up.

“Wanna shower or anything?”

You stretch your arms above your head, standing on your tiptoes, letting out a big yawn. “Nope, as promised, I’m worn out.”

When you wander back into his room, Luke is sitting against the headboard under the blankets. He smiles big at you and holds his arms out, “C’mere, honey.”

You’re instantly across the room, fitting yourself against him. He takes the moment to nuzzle his nose with yours. “I really enjoyed this, Lu,” you murmur into his neck.

“I’m glad you came over.” He squeezes you, kissing your forehead. He feels you yawn against him and announces, “Alright, time for bed.” He pulls the blanket down next to him and you crawl inside. He tucks you in, turns off the lights and presses himself against your back.

“So… round two in a few hours?” There’s a teasing in your voice but when you look back at him, he presses a kiss to your lips in eager agreement. “Good night, handsome,” you yawn, finally drifting off to sleep as Luke gently rubs your back.

#5sos smut #5 seconds of summer smut #Luke hemmings smut #cal-puddies writes #kiss full of color makes me wonder where you’ve always been #yes the title is from a Kasey musgraves song #yes I love this couple too #yes please leave feedback #as always #thank you

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