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muggycuphead · 2 years

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weird flex but ok i guess pt.12

War… Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – Old comic thingy project pages

Ah yes, this old fellow

So this was supposed to be a comic version of BF’sH, subdivided in ARCs (initially 2, now being 3), this one specifically revolving around the first one, which I called ‘Past Present’ –haha funny wordplay go brr- which explained BF’s background story, how he moved to NewGrounds City (which was basically supposed to be like the animation world’s New York City and stuff, it’s been quite a long time since I made these pages so don’t expect me to give all the details with that much accuracy, thank u) and all that. Sadly, it didn’t go farther from 16 pages comic-wise and three GF-BF interaction events script-wise –character development pls-, but it doesn’t hurt posting these

…the pages, not the script, that might come off…later, somehow

Some pages were recently edited though, mostly for accuracy reasons…and because one of the dialogue lines were just…wut incarnate

Anyway, here’s the junk:

Page 1

Bro look at that landscape

Look at the sun

He lookin like he wanna smash the earth out of spite

Also, not gonna lie, that truck right there lookin good for my standards back then

And you might notice I was quite into experiencing with scenarios and stuff when I was making this, and tell you what, it was quite fun

Still though, that excited Lil B right there gives me life

Like- look at him

He’s a certified cinnamon roll in the making

…well, not really, but we’ll talk about that later

Still, he was the character version I enjoyed to draw most in there –and still do in sketchdumps BTW (GF was alright to draw but her hair was just- sdfghj ugh, but I’m getting a little out of hand with myself here so Imma cut the roll already woop-)

Page 2

Oml here comes the feeling of regret hhhh-

Like, the reason why I wrote Miss G as a ‘whimp’ here –physically speaking- was over the fact she’s a defective demon (you know, like in that superhero movie where one of the character was powerless due to their parents being both superheros and all that, although on this case it might have just been broken genetics, chromo mutation, etc. -you get the point aight?) but like my goodness, I just feel bad for putting her in such a ridiculous scenario like this

…but guess it’s not that bad considering they’re ‘average’ demon kids and they don’t know any better sooo…eh, let it be

And yeah, the fluffly shadowy kid there was slightly inspired on one of Adam Phillips’ characters (Bitey(?) of Brackenwood, that fawn-satyr guy that was basically an asshole, mostly knew about him during my research about Adam Phillips while I was writing the 2nd version of VB), just to keep in the NG theme

He’s not actually Bitey tho; more of a fan possibly, I dunno

Won’t tell what he called, though his name –alongside the other demon kid’s- is revealed further on, don’t worry

They’re both asses tho

Page 3

Hell ye got ur just dessert served right at your step boy, now gtfo and leave my demon homegirl alone thank u

And OH BOY they finally met, let’s see how it gets down for these two

BF’s been quite quiet during the first pages by the way, that’ll change on the next pages tho don’t worry

Also, remember when I took back my ‘BF is a cinnamon roll in the making’ statement from before?

Yeah, here’s the reason why

He a little rascal

Also also, this isn’t brought up anywhere in the story (I dunno about the script, didn’t do a full checkup lately whoops) but those water balloons were meant for something he and Broddy planned together secretly –can’t remember what it was exactly, but If anything, it was for the sake of the funny haha-

As for the slingshot, that’s just one of his favorite toys

And yeah he did break some windows back at the hood while playing with it

Page 4

Aaaa- This page is a personal favorite, not gonna lie

Like, the tender moment is real in this one, folks

And yes I did forget drawing background in the first panel, but I guess it was for the sake of focusing the viewer attention’s on the characters and midground rather than the aforesaid, y’know

Sorry for the confusing dialogue boxes in panel 2, I was basically going with my own comic writing rules back then (I was even doing the script while illustrating it, though I did write the lines aside before putting them in the panels for the sake of good placing…not for this one page however, but my memory’s kinda fuzzy about it sooo…guess it’s a meh on this case)

Not really into the ‘BF’s beeps are actually a language’ sort of thing anymore though (yes that last line means something, it’s in the next page), but I’ll let it fly for now as it’s not too eeh on this context (besides, he’s a kid here, so it’s double whatever from me)

Page 5

Real talk, GF in the first panel is basically everyone’s first reaction over BF just beeping while singing

Good thing I gave him self-consciousness about it in here, woo

Again, sorry for the floppy comic illustration –panel 1 to 4’s order specifically, was just trying to make a ‘crossed’ like panel organization, but guess it isn’t that functional when it comes to reading it –at least for someone that isn’t me, of course-

Also, fun fact about the name thing: Even though GirlFriend and BoyFriend are canonically called like that –which remains the same in BF’sH’s storyline, in my AT/AU’s case, they were given those names by mistake: Two illiterate nurse men in BF’s case (just downright dumbasses) and a half deaf demon-nurse woman in GF’s case (she had an starbuck’s employee level of name comprehension, nice)

Why didn’t their parents change their names afterwards then? Well, because 1) finding register offices in BF’s Hood is like looking for a pin in a straw-loft +where the cash at bro, and 2) The Dearests didn’t really care about it, and just…went with the flow I guess

I’ll keep the real names that were planned for them a secret for now(??, but just as a funny hint, they do share the same acronym letters from their actual names (BF, GF)

Page 6

Sissy truly got those maternal instincts flip-flopping on her

Can’t blame her though, Lil B used to be quite a piece of work to deal with back then (not like he wasn’t any better back in the hood, but you get what I’m saying alright), plus it’s New Grounds City during his bronze yeas (I think), shit’s was wild back then (I think x2) so yeah, careful around there, young man

…And here we go with the bapish thing again (yes I even gave it a name, don’t ask why I even bothered to-)

However, during those days when I wrote BF’s beepy lines, I did try to make them sound like the words he was actually saying in English so they would make some sort of “sense” and not sound like it was mere gibberish

Broddy do be looking kinda handsome there with the casual clothing and shit tho

Page 7

Ayooo we got into the edited pages now, let’s get it boysss-

I agree with GF, just shut yo bitch ass up, Stephano

Fun fact by the way, this was the first time I drew McBleep –essentially his debut- and not gonna lie, that accent I put on his dialogue is kind of funny,

Also, Stephano is GF’s half-brother/stepbrother in BF’sH, being from an ex-marriage of Daddy Dearest, and as you could tell, he clearly isn’t very loving towards GF…nor her mother even, he sometimes even blames her for being the reason Daddy D divorced his mother, though he did outgrow from that idea on the long run…the hate does remain just as fresh as the first day though, nothing can be done about that so…F in the chat for GF on that one

Also also, remember what I said about me originally using MizanPloz‘s concept for BF’s mom for BF’sH AND the wut incarnate dialogue line I mentioned all the way up in this post? Well, here’s the original panels that showcase that stuff, scanned just for the sake of having an archive of them (even if I was no longer okay with using BF mom’s design on my stuff, I wasn’t just gonna straight up erase the work, like c’mon; as for Daddy Dearest’s line...dunno, guess I didn’t want to just write it down here, but eh). And if you can make the maths down straight, I don’t think I’d need to explain why those drastic changes were made

And yes, I did accidentally tell the eyeglow on BF mom’s original design to go die (heck I didn’t even know she actually had those to begin with), guess it was mostly cuz I wanted her to look human and shit; you can bonk me over it I honestly don’t mind

Page 8

Another edited page woo

The second panel looked like this originally, heck I didn’t even get the icon right I’m internally laughing and crying what-

And yeah I’ll admit, this page is a little weird –the setting is kinda huh??? but whateva

Still, it was fun to mess around with the dialogue like that and try to mash it up in a ping-pong type of dynamic + the third panel is kinda funny to me for some reason now, maybe because of the perspective giving the impression of BF and GF looking at each other through their rooms and stuff, but that might be just me

Page 9

The angy sun is back, and he’s out for blood…I guess

Also, BF looks weird on the fourth panel strip what the heck-

By the way, moar cameooos broooo

Page 10

BF got quite the work enthusiasm there, folks

God bless that child heart of his, go catch the bag honey you got thissss

Also yeah I forgot to add shit to the last two panels, but in my defense, creativity machine broke on that behalf, if anyone wanna do a funny comment over it then be my guest I don’t mind

Page 11

…

Inhale

Exhale

Now I remember one of the other reasons I cut it with this comic

NG characters used as cameos got me off the wagon

Like, I thought it was a cool idea when I was doing the pages –since again, it’s for the sake of keeping it NG-related- but now…

…man

The mixed feelings are real by looking at this one

I do gotta give my past art some credit though, it doesn’t look too bad, and it came with a good intention so it gets a pass…a little, but it does

That biker character is from a drawing made by Sanoan on NewGrounds, here’s a link to it

And like I said on one of my earlier posts, no we don’t stand child exploitation on this house, y’all

If anything, BF just did little tasks here and there on the workshop, and when he went to do the big boy tasks, he was always under supervision, either his siblings’ or his dad’s –Broddy’s one in this case with the drill

Also, we got the name reveals!

Assel –the demon kid- and Brick –the satyr kid Bitey-lookin ass-

Though Brick’s only appearances remain on page 2 and 3 –poor guy, he’s just a bg character :(- Assel does have some plot-wise interaction in the long run, but that’s chatter for later, aight-

Page 12

newgrounds memes go bzzzz

Again, me and my NG cameoing trash, and we even got dialogue-wise interaction with it, Jesus Christ

I did try to keep it as neutral as possible, cuz –again- I barely knew about the character I put in there –besides the fact they were a demon- and I was just doing shit on the spot

…So yeah, more complicated feelings woo-

Still, here’s that demon darling’s original version, she was made by Cavitees on –also- Newgrounds, link to the drawing I took reference from

Also, another funny skit about balls breaking windows

But this time, we have a twist: SCHOOL PROPERTY WINDOWSsss

…though it’s a demon school so I doubt they’d care

Or maybe they would? I dunno, each to their own I guess

P.S. Sissy be looking thick right there tho

Page 13

GF pulled a Lionel Messi on those folks, lol

Too bad BF couldn’t do the Jordan throw tho, can we hit 10 reblogs for this poor fellow

Still though…

“Baskie”

Pft-

I dunno why but it sounds funny now that I think of it

Page 14

That demon chauffeur looks crinkly as hell, man

He looks like he could have been the dancing demons’ dad or something (or maybe he is, but I dunno)

Also, gotta love that dedication on McBleep, man

And yeah, BF does get his side of the money made during the day

Might not be a fat stack of cash, but hey, at least he won it with his effort

Also, another Lil Miss BG moment, just to please the canon wowowo-

Page 15

Vroom vroom nyoom

Also- oh damn I forgot to erase that…water thing whatever its name is out of the street

Like, initially my idea was to have the workshop next to the school so BF and GF could chat together nice and comfily, but THEN I ALSO remembered about that little funny event I implicitly mentioned a few posts ago

…the fire incident

But now that I make the maths it could be whatever either way, since y’know, again, it’s a demon school; it’d possibly go off as like a water leak or something, but it wouldn’t do much to it so yeah

Still, what the heckle

Page 16

For a demon child, Stephano really got some salt towards BF

And yes that Bruce guy is another halfsibling/stepsibling in GF’s family

Yes the name was added last minute because I was clueless at the time I wrote this page

Yes I took some inspiration from Beach Brother for him in the time I wrote this page, though he has his differences besides not being 100% biologically related to GF

No I don’t have an exact concept for his design

And no he doesn’t have bad blood towards GF, neither past or present (heck, he even accepts his mother was the actual bitch in the situation by leaving them with their dad and go wander off to heck-knows-where –which is, in fact, what actually happened)

So yeah, that’s pretty much it on that behalf

[T.B.C.]

#fnfau #friday night funkin'#au #alternate universe #alternative timeline #at #bfsh #stephano stfu no one cares about ur shit lol

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ganen-cheese · 3 years

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#19 Days #TianShan #Mo Guan Shan #He Tian #Long Post #My Art #I was planning a future with the two of us as if it would continue on just like this #Every time a dream of mine would come true I would think of you #I cried out saying I wanted to get stronger #--For some reason Homura by LiSA fits even though HT is just going away w #MGS will miss you HT #Pls shower him with love #MGS pls also shower HT with love #and pls be happy in the future #Pls let me draw two more comics as I need to let it out first lol #I just want Mo to be worried for HT #Or notice HT difference even if HT tries to hide it #THE UPDATE yesterday was so cute #because like every time HT shows some sort of insecurity or dissatisfaction #Mo notices it and tries his way to comfort him??#Like that time when HT kept asking about the girl they borrowed the chair from #And now Mo saying embarrassing things to HT like clinging to him www #So cute #They're such a stupid couple #cries in a corner

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levworship · 3 years

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Okay but I just read what the other anon requested and that was so good?? I didn’t think I had a thing for receiving oral but wtf 😭🤚could I maybe request smth if you got time?? Could it be a reunion between volleyball teams from miyagi and tokyo? So nekoma, fukorodani, seijoh, Johzenji (terushima’s tongue piercing PLS), karasuno, itachiyama You were the old manager of nekoma and was friends with literally everyone, during the talk kuroo somehow mentioned that in the nekoma reunion like 2 years ago it somehow ended with the main guys all taking turns eating you out and that pisses off the rest of the guys because that was their fantasy?? This ends up with you (with consent ofc) being sat down on kuroo’s lap as the guys also take turns eating you out (inspired by the other anon because 😩) I understand if you obviously can’t mention everyone, but pls mention terurshima, sakusa (who would only let you make a mess on his face) and bokuto if you could <3 ALSO the idea of two people eating you out at the same time, maybe bokuto and terushima?? IM NASTY OKAY BUT PLS DO THAT

Ty in advanceeee

i’m usually pretty fast but this took me a whole two days to write smh i’m sorry anon. hope you enjoy tho <3 i wanted it to be a lil longer but i’m so tired and i rlly wanted to get this out for you.

cw: group sex (like.. big group), hella sub reader, also fem reader, anal lol, oral (fem reviving), kuroo is the ringleader, humiliation ig, reader kinda into it doe, dirty talk, degrading + praise, squirting, overstimulation

summary: basically everyone wants to eat out/fuck y/n. explicitly written in here is kuroo, oikawa, sakusa, bokuto, and terushima. the rest is implied.

word count: about 1.9k

your face was buried into kenma’s stiff shoulder, your whole body feeling hot as your group of friends continued to talk about you as if you weren’t even there. but clearly they hadn’t forgotten about you too much considering the way their eyes burned holes into you from all around so indiscreetly that you couldn’t even sit your ass still.

you weren’t quite sure how the previous conversation had shifted so suddenly, but kuroo seemed more than happy with the subject change as his signature asshole smirk never left his features. “- yeah, ‘bout two years ago i’d say. she was a good fuck too. poor thing was so eager to make us feel good that she passed out.” kuroo continued to drag his story as if to intentionally provoke the others, and the staring at you only got worse. your nerves were shot.

you looked and felt like a precious bunny being stared down by a bunch of wolves. and honestly? it was hot as fuck.

which is why you didn’t bother to argue when you were practically dragged into the locker room of the old gym, daichi hurriedly locking the door behind all of you. you couldn’t help but feel bad for just a second. ‘didnt some of these guys have girlfriends? couldve sworn i saw terushima enter with some girl.’ but how could you possibly focus on that when your clothes were being literally ripped off of you and disregarded to who knows where?

your legs felt weak, both out of shock and nervousness from being handled so roughly. “bring her here, bo. sit her down on my lap.” bokuto (for perhaps the first time in his life) was silent as he dragged you over to the other ex-captain, setting you down in his lap on his spot on the bench just as he’d requested. kuroo snickered and raised a hand to cup your cheeks, squeezing them together like you were a little baby before releasing.

“ease up, will ya? so damn tense i can feel it from here. you know we’ll take good care of you.” he spoke so lowly and reassuringly that you couldn’t help but to nod like a fool as he turned you around in his lap to fit the others. he tapped your thigh once, twice, and you quickly picked up on the hint and opened your legs for their viewing pleasure. you tried to put your face down as you were smothered in shame from just how quickly you got wet from their rough handling, but kuroo gripped onto your face once again and forced you to look up.

“look up, baby. so many big strong men dying to make you cum so fucking hard. be a little more thankful, yeah? say it.” “thank you.” he shook his head with a small laugh before releasing your face, but not before lightly tapping your face twice with soft slaps. still, you remained out of it even as oikawa settled himself between your legs, looking up at you with the same lazy smile you frequently saw him wearing around you.

“smells so damn good. finally gonna let me get a taste, cutie?” he spoke lowly as if he were to himself before diving in and holy shit. you figured he’d be pretty experienced. the guy was a literal chick magnet. but damn, this exceeded your expectations by far. your body threatened to curl over itself if it hadn’t been for kuroo’s sturdy grip on your twitching thighs. the way he sucked vigorously at your clit while swiping his tongue along your folds to capture more of your essence had you drawing nothing but blanks up there.

“haven’t even cum yet for us and already going dumb?” kuroo teased, planting a kiss just behind your ear, a shocking contrast to the way oikawa’s tongue worked against you just right.

the air around you was so thick you felt as if it could be cut with a knife. some of the guys surrounding you couldn’t figure out what to do with themselves, nervously shuffling their feet without taking your eyes off of you. others had clearly overcome any former shame, already slowly pumping their cocks in their hands as they hoped and prayed that they would get a turn soon. the whole scene made you feel so dirty— so wanted. the desire that leaked from their looks on you had your orgasm approaching faster than ever.

oikawa seemed to have noticed this, using his thumbs to spread your folds apart to make sure you felt him deep, muttering a quick “cum on my fucking mouth, princess.” the simple phrase alone made your orgasm crash down on you finally. your fingers tangled in his soft hair, which was now messy and tossed thanks to you.

you nearly passed out right there when he continued to lick you clean even as you violently shook in kuroo’s grasp, the black haired boy having to shove the other away forcefully just to separate his mouth from you. “that’s enough of that. did he make you feel good baby?” your eyes are still shut as you cling onto the leftover bliss, only offering a quiet “mhm.” “good girl. think you can give us another?” the question was clearly rhetorical, which should’ve been clear by the was he was already gesturing someone else forward. but still, you shook your little fucked out head ‘no’ and prayed upon some god that he’d have mercy on your poor quivering cunt.

but you knew better than to expect mercy from kuroo of all people. especially when it came to your body, when he kept whispering to you about how you were such a “perfect little toy,” and his “favorite doll to use.” before you knew it sakusa was diving into your pussy quickly without giving you time to do so much as muster up the energy to open your eyes again. his mouth was quick and desperate to get you off, moving with a sense of urgency as his hands busied themselves palming at his covered dick. he wasn’t nearly as precise or experienced as oikawa was, but his eagerness made up for it as he ate you out like a starved man.

your hips threatened to buck against his face wildly, cries of “please, please, please” falling from your mouth even though you didn’t even know what you were begging for. all you knew was that you needed more than what he was giving you right now. the man above you seemed to have read you like an open book once again as he released one of your thoughts to reach a hand around to your sensitive bud, pressing down on it softly. “see this?” he murmured, only receiving a small “hm.” in acknowledgement as omi continued his assault on your little hole. greedy fuck. “try touching her here. she loves that shit.” you cried out for more again, clenching tightly at the way he spoke of your body as if you weren’t even there.

the second sakusa tore himself away from your folds to wrap his lips around your clit, you were a goner for sure. there was a distant scream that you didn’t even recognize as your own until kuroo muffled them with his hand, body twitching and jerking more than it had the previous time. the room fell to a sudden silence even as you came down from your high, causing you to let out a confused hum.

kuroo’s chuckle broke the quietness, his large hand slapping your wet overstimulated mound and making you yelp. “didn’t know you were a squirter, baby. how come you didn’t do this for us the first time hm?” another rhetorical question. his hand trailed down lower, collecting some of your juices before he began to prod a finger at your other hole. “fuck- gonna let me bury myself in here again? want both of your holes fucked out?” and you couldn’t help but cry out because fuck yes! you couldn’t think of anything you’d want more. you nodded your head and panted like a sex craved mutt, and perhaps you would’ve been as humiliated as you were before if you weren’t so damn thirsty for it. every inch of you was begging to be ravished and destroyed, and you couldn’t help but grow more and more impatient as the time passed.

kuroo didn’t take his eyes off of you as he nodded towards the crowd once again, sakusa taking the hint and reluctantly scurrying off to palm at himself through his sweatpants just as he previously had. kuroo’s command must’ve been unclear though, as both of you were pulled away from your eye contact at the sound of a comical bonk followed by two grunts of “ow.” perhaps you would’ve laughed if the two aforementioned fools weren’t kneeling in front of your drenched pussy, ready to service you eagerly just as the other two had.

a chill ran up your spine as you surveyed each of their features. while both of them shared the same underlying expressions of lust and desperation, you couldn’t help but note how bokuto’s face resembled one of an excited puppy dog that perhaps would’ve been adorable in another circumstance while terushima’s was much more primal. “look at that” kuroo’s voice in your ear dragged you back out of your own head as he slowly sunk another finger into your tight ass. just because he was going to treat you like a whore didn’t mean you didn’t deserve prep. “making a fool out of themselves, all because they’re so desperate to get a taste of that perfect pussy. doesn’t that make you feel filthy?”

kuroo couldn’t do anything but shake his head at your lack of response, finally releasing your thighs for a moment to grab at both of their napes, silently demanding for you to hold them open yourself. “well? since you’re both so impatient, think you two can work together as a team? if i hear her complain even one time, i’m not letting either of you touch again.”

the two of them nodded obediently, and your eyes nearly rolled back at how demanding kuroo was being right now. it was clear that everyone knew who was truly holding the ropes here, and yet no one was complaining about the arrangement. seemingly satisfied with their responses, kuroo released their necks and his hands smacked yours away so he could replace them and hold up your thighs himself once again. “think you’re ready to take my cock now in here, y/n?” he smirked as he lined himself up. “gonna let me fuck this ass while you let both of them eat that slutty pussy? such a dirty girl. so fuckin’ good for us” he continued to spew filth at you as he lined himself up at your entrance, allowing you to sink down slowly.

you hissed at the stretch, but of course didn’t have much time to focus on the sensation because bokuto and terushima had finally decided that they’d been waiting for long enough. they worked diligently, the cool metal of teru’s tongue piercing flicking against your bud while bokuto slurped on your juices so loudly that the sound filled the room in the most embarrassing way possible.

yeah. you were in for it tonight.

sorry for mistakes or inconsistencie. requests for bnha and haikyuu are open.

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #bokuto smut #sakusa smut #kuroo smut #oikawa smut #terushima smut #haikyu!! smut #haikyuu x reader dirty imagine #.chiyo’s works #.chiyo’s works hq

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

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Stop Running (Cordelia x Wilhemina x fem!reader x Ally)

idk what we got here, but its reeeeeeally long and made with google translate..so excuse me

summary: you have to meet the son of your girlfriends and he reminds you of ur dead brother and all the memories of ur childhood come back

warnings: suicide, depression, scars, child abuse..

Being in a relationship with 3 women at the same time was probably something like the jackpot. Before, you didn't even think you'd get one and now you had 3.

You still remembered the night these three women came into the club where you worked as a waitress. In the beginning it was just little things like saying 'please' and 'thank you' when you brought them something. Most of the people who came to this club got drunk too quickly to be polite.

Then they started asking you questions.

“What's your name?”

“How is it possible that a pretty girl like you works in a club like this?” (a question that made you blush)

“How can we get your attention?”

And at one point you gave a shit about your work and sat with them for the rest of the night. And at dawn they took you to their bed with them. You were the only sober person that evening, but the next morning none of the 3 were surprised or angry about your presence.

It had developed into a frequency, every Friday night they'd come to the club only to leave with you at the end of the night. And at some point it became more.

The trio had piqued your interest since the first night, which was probably because there were three of them and later you wanted to know everything about them. You found out that Ally was widowed with a son, that Wilhemina had her cane with scoliosis and that she had a secret fetish for the Victorian era, and that Cordelia was the headmistress of a witch's school, they all lived in.

And at some point you had to find out that you were in love with all three at once.

You loved Mina's severity and how proud she walked despite her scoliosis. No one had ever walked so gracefully with a cane, you were sure of that.

You loved seeing how gentle and balanced Delia was with everyone.

And you loved Ally when she explained the world to you and was the smartest person in the room.

The problem was that you were too scared. These women had known each other for a number of years and you had only known them for a few weeks. How many times have you wondered if you were just a distraction for her bedroom?

You were ashamed of this question and started avoiding contact with them. But when they confronted you, you finally revealed your feelings to them.

They weren't angry, on the contrary, they started laughing.

———————————

"We thought you knew that we love you too and were now afraid that you would avoid us because of that .." said Delia.

"Oh .." you mumbled confused.

"We're sorry we never made it official .." Ally said, putting a hand on your knee. "We thought it was obvious .."

-----------------------

And now you've finally been living with them for a week. You almost lived with them anyway. You knew the big building of the academy almost by heart, Delia's girls knew and liked you, and most of the time you spent in the trio's rooms instead of your own little apartment.

There was a little problem though: Oz, Ally's son.

Ally had decided it would be better if you didn't meet him until you officially lived with them. It wasn't up to you, but the circumstances were very complicated. If one mother died and you had two new ones, you didn't need a third.

The night you found out about Oz's existence, Ally had also told you the story of the Cult and how she killed Ivy.

—

"I want there to be no secrets between us. And I'm not proud of what I did, but it's part of me now .." she had said.

"We have all done things that we are not proud of .." was your reply.

—

The three of them tried to prepare Oz for you as best they could, which wasn't difficult because Oz wasn't a complicated kid. And you had been confident, because actually you got on well with children.

"Oz is in his room .." Ally said as she walked into your living room. She grabbed your hands to pull you up from the sofa before kissing you on the cheek.

Both of you were at home alone at the moment, as Delia and Mina were working afterwards.

You gave her a warm smile and together you went to the boy's room. Ally knocked on the door briefly before opening it. Her hand never left yours. A blond boy was sitting on the bed reading a comic. "Oz, this is Y / N .. I told you about her .." Ally said. The boy, Oz, raised his head and looked straight at you. Your breath caught at the sight of him.

He looks like Leo, was your first thought.

This little boy looked just like your little brother had looked that age. You got dizzy. All that you repressed in the last few years suddenly all shot back into your memory. Your abusive father, who hobbled on a stick because of his broken leg and didn't fail to punish Leo or you for anything senseless. Your alcoholic mother who drowned her frustration in alcohol and was never there when you needed her. And Leo, your Leo that you loved so much. How many times did you want to run away and stay because of him? Then this picture shot in your head, you were 17 at the time and he was 15. One day you came home and his dead body had tumbled from the ceiling by his belt. He couldn't take it anymore and you hated yourself so much that you didn't notice.

"Honey?" Ally's voice brought you back to the present. You looked away from Oz, who was now looking at you in confusion, and fixed your gaze on Ally. "I thought it would be better if I gave you some time alone .." she whispered.

"Sure ..", you nodded slowly.

She smiled and squeezed your hand. "Good .." was the last thing she said before leaving the room.

You stood lost in the boy's room, who by now was fixated on his comic again, and didn't know what to do. You wanted to run after Ally, bury you in her arms and start crying. But you knew that it probably wouldn't go down too well with Oz, so you just paused.

"She's happy again .." Oz suddenly said without looking up from his comic.

"Excuse me, what?"

"I mean mom .. she laughs a lot more .."

"Didn't she do that before?", You were confused.

"Yea .. but it always seemed so forced .. When Delia and Mina started to meet her, she felt like shit and she had to get back to normal, she was somehow sick or something like that .. I think she is happy to have someone who didn't see her as this wreck and that's why she's happy .. "

You didn't answer what he said because you couldn't judge it.

So it takes three women to replace one .. you thought and immediately hated yourself for it.

"What are you reading?" You walked slowly to the bed and sat down next to Oz.

"Avengers .." he muttered.

Inside you were relieved, at least something you knew.

"And do you like it?", You looked into the book and began to read along. "It's cool .." he said curtly and read on.

"That's Civil War .." you stated after two minutes. Confused, he looked at you sideways. "You know it?" "Of course.." He nodded shortly before looking back into the book. "Are you Team Cap or Team Iron Man?" You asked. "Although I like Iron Man more, Team Cap .. The way Shield is fighting him here sucks," Oz said and you nodded. You noticed the Iron Man movie poster hanging on his closet. "Have you seen the films?" "Nope .." he shook his head. "Mom won't let me .." "How old are you?" "11 .." "Okay well .. maybe I can talk your mom and we can watch her together .." you said.

"Are you serious? ..", he looked at you skeptically. "Yes .." you nodded. "I mean it's her choice, but I don't think the films are that dangerous you can't watch them .." "That would be cool .." he muttered, staring at the Iron Man poster.

--------------------------

"How about Oz, Y / N?" Asked Mina, who was sitting across from you. You looked up from your meal.

"Good .." you mumbled briefly

"Good ..?" She repeated before taking another sip of her red wine. Her eyes were still attached to yours.

"Yes ... I think I'll be able to make friends with him .." you added when you noticed that your answer was a bit short.

It was 10 p.m. and the four of you hadn't eaten with the other girls and Oz as usual, but only did it now because Mina had come home so late. And you had been noticeably quiet, still thinking about your Leo.

Ally put a hand on your knee under the table as she always did to calm you down. "You seemed very ..", she searched for words. "impressed? I don't know .."

"Uhm yes .. I was a little bit overstrained ..", you tried to smile at her, but you could still feel Mina's penetrating look. Like she's trying to look inside your head.

Cordelia, realizing the tense mood, let out a laugh.

"Overstrained would also fit our attitude when we met him for the first time ..", she said and threw a loving look at Mina.

"yeah?" You asked confused, because Cordelia always got on well with everyone.

"Oh yes .." she continued. "Ally had also left us alone with him and we didn't even know what to do .. I think it is already difficult for a child to accept one new person in the mother's life and then two ... it was all a little bit complicated.."

"And what did you do then?"

"We ended up playing Monopoly .." she said with a grin. You started to laugh. "Monopoly?" "Yes and in the end Mina was angry because she had lost .." You looked at Mina, who blushed. "Those were the wrong rules we were playing with .." she muttered. "You're just a bad loser, honey .." Cordelia said, still grinning.

Smiling you looked back and forth between the women. "So are you all right?" Ally asked again, drawing your attention back to herself. You nodded quickly. "yes, it's all good. Oz is great .. so he told me that you wouldn't let him watch the Marvel films .. they really aren't that bad, I think it's okay .."

"You think so?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Jesus Ally, don't feel criticized right away..I just mean that I could imagine watching them with him..you know, then this thing with befriending him might work better ..", you said and started playing with your fingers

Her eyes relaxed at your words. "I think that's no problem .."

------------------------------------

The next day you lay on the sofa, tired, trying to get some sleep. At night it was impossible: every time you closed your eyes, you saw the picture of the dead Leo in front of your eyes.

Ally was sitting at the end of the sofa with your legs in her lap, her fingers running over them, while she was reading an article on her cell phone.

An approaching knock made you flinch and your body stiffened, which Ally didn't go unnoticed. This is your father, you startled for a moment.

"Don't worry, Princess .. outside of the bedroom, Mina's walking stick is no danger for you .." Ally said to you and laughed.

She might found it funny, but her words made you scared, not that you wouldn't be interested in this type of sex ... But the thought of Mina hitting you with her stick made you feel uncomfortable.

"Oz is looking for you Y / N ..", Mina said as she entered the room and saw Ally and you on the sofa. You nodded briefly and jumped up to go to the boy. "Thanks Mina .." was the last thing you muttered before you left the room.

Oz was in his room, as expected. You knocked just before you entered. He was sitting at his desk doing homework.

"Mina said you'd look for me .." you said and stepped up to him. "Are we watching Iron Man today?" He asked without looking up from his duties. "Today?", You were surprised. Ally had given Oz permission to watch the movies with you at breakfast, but you didn't expect to start today. "Yup.." "uhm...Sure" "Cool ..", he raised his head and grinned crookedly. Leo shot through your head. "See you later Y / N .." "See you then," you mumbled and left his room.

A few hours later you were sitting next to Ally's son on the sofa and tried to concentrate on the film. Oz sat next to you, focused on the film and just made a few comments.

The whole evening was relatively relaxed until Oz put his head on your shoulder and immediately you were a 13 year old girl again and next to you was not your lover's son, but your 10 year old brother Leo. You weren't in the living room either. You sat crouched at the end of your bed, Leo next to you, his head on your shoulder. The TV had turned into a door that you and Leo are now staring at, concentrating on the voices behind it. It was your father fighting with your mother. Your heartbeat quickened immediately. You could hear his footsteps as he hobbled his stick down the hall. It became harder to breathe when you saw the doorknob move down and-

"It works better than I expected.." Ally's voice whispered and you were immediately back in the living room.

"Is everything okay?" She asked confused when she saw your distraught look. You nodded slowly. "Yes-", you stuttered. "I'm just a little surprised, I thought it would be more complicated to make friends with Leo .." "Leo?", Ally sat down on the sofa and pulled her sleeping son into her lap. "Oz ..." you corrected yourself quickly. "I have no idea how I come up with Leo .. in the film someone was called that .." "You're shaking Y / N .." Ally remarked and saw you concerned at. "I'm sorry," you looked down at your trembling hands. "I'm just very nervous about Oz I think .."

Ally smiled. "You don't have to .. you're doing great .."

------------------- -----------

The next morning the 4 of you, Oz and the other girls were having breakfast together.

"That was cool last night, Y / N .." Oz said suddenly and your attention was on him.

"I think so too ..", you smiled gently at him.

"What I can think of .." Ally remarked. "I have a meeting tonight and Mina has to work late ... so you'll be alone with Oz ..." She looked back and forth between you and Cordelia. "I'm out .." Delia said and sipped her coffee. "Misty and I are going to the greenhouse tonight .." "Oz and I can come with you..I am sure that Oz-" "Misty and I want to be there alone, Y / N .." Cordelia shot you an apologetic look.

"Oh okay ..", you looked carefully at Oz, who was too busy with his food to catch anything in your conversation. "That's not a problem for you, is it?" Ally asked. You shook your head quickly. "No.."

So the subject was off the table and Mina's eyes stabbed your skin again. Although she hadn't said anything, she was probably the one who felt your discomfort the most.

In the evening you and Oz had dinner alone and at first everything went well, you talked about the movie from the previous evening over dinner and you didn't have to think about Leo at all.

"okay .." you started and stood up. "I'll tidy up the kitchen and that's when you finish your homework .." Oz grinned. "Whoever finishes first .." he said and ran out of the room. You had to smile when you started washing the dishes. 10 minutes later Oz walked slowly into the room and you immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"What's up?" You frowned. Oz without a word took out his soccer ball and a few broken pieces from behind his back. "What's that?" You asked calmly.

"I finished my homework and was playing with the ball in the living room. The ball hit Delia's vase and it fell from the cupboard .." he whispered and looked at the broken pieces in his hand.

You stared at him and saw Leo again and wondered what your dad would have done to him now. Tears stung your eyes. "I can't do this anymore .." you sobbed and buried your face in your hands.

Oz looked up at you with wide eyes. "I'm really sorry, Y / N! It wasn't on purpose ... I-"

"Oz no-" you said quickly and crouched down to look at him directly. "I'm not mad at you .. You know, I'm even glad that the thing is broken .. To be honest, I found the vase totally hideous .." "Really?" He asked skeptically. You nodded and tried to smile. "Are you hurt?" "No .." he shook his head.

"Well ... let's clean up the mess now and please don't play with the ball in the house anymore."

---------------------------

"Something is wrong with Y / N .." you heard Ally say to Cordelia the next evening.

You actually wanted to go to them in the living room, but when you heard your name, you couldn't help but stop to hear what they said about you.

"What do you mean?" You heard Delia ask. Ally seemed to think twice about what to say. "Oz told me last night that she started crying when he told her, the vase was broken .." she finally said.

Fuck. You closed your eyes

"I would probably have cried too, I liked the vase .." joked Cordelia. Ally groaned. "That's not funny Delia .. When I walked into the living room the day before, when Oz and Y / N were watching this movie, she also looked totally scared. She was shaking and looked like she was going to cry any moment .." she said.

Delia hummed thoughtfully. "Did you ask her about it?" "She said she was so nervous about Oz, but I don't believe her .. I guess-"

"What are you doing here in the dark, princess?" Mina's lips to your ear made you jump.

"Jesus, Mina .." you cursed and turned to your girlfriend. You could see her grinning in the moonlight that shone in through the hall window. "I didn't hear you coming .."

"If you can't even hear me coming, then you must have been really distracted .." she said, sounding somehow sad. "Let's go in. Unless you want to keep staring at the door here ..", she reached past you to open the door. You gave way and pointed into the room. "Age before beauty .." you just said and made her laugh before she entered the room in front of you.

The previous conversation between Ally and Delia never seemed to have taken place because they both just sat there, Delia read a book and Ally scrolled through her cell phone.

--------------------------

"Happy Birthday, Princess ..", Cordelia whispered in your ear in the morning and let you wake up. "How do you know that?", You grumbled tired and slowly opened your eyes. Delia sat next to you in the Scross-legged in bed. "I am the supreme, i know everything ..", she said smugly and let you snort in annoyance. "Of course you do .." you mumbled and sat up. "Where are Mina and Ally?"

"At work? Honey, it's 11 am .." Cordelia laughed. "And what are you still doing here?" You asked confused. "Can't I spend time with my girlfriend when it's her birthday?" She smiled sweetly at you.

"Do the others know ..?"

"Nope ..", she bit her lip. "I kind of felt like you wouldn't like it if we knew ..." "I don't either," you confirmed. "Still, you'll be sad when you find out .." she muttered.

For a moment it was quiet between the two of you and you just stared at each other. And just as you were wondering how Cordelia could look so good, even though she had just woken up too, she leaned over and kissed you.

"mh delia-" you protested against her lips.

"What?", She withdrew disappointed. "I actually wanted to give you your present now ..", she grinned and enjoyed how you blushed at her statement.

"At least let me brush my teeth beforehand .." you mumbled embarrassed and jumped off the bed.

"Hurry up, princess .."

---------------

In the late afternoon you sat across from Mina at the table. Ally was still working and Cordelia had arranged to meet Misty in the greenhouse. Mina was reading the paper in thought, a habit that you found incredibly cute. You yourself were playing some random game on your cell phone when the message tone on your cell phone beeped.

Message from Joanne: "Hello Y / N, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm going to your city next week because I have to go to the doctor and wanted to ask if you would like to meet me?

~ Joanne. "

Your heart quickened on the last sentence. Joanne was your mother and wrote you every year for your birthday, you had never even answered one of her messages and now she wanted to see you again after so many years. She would come here and there was nothing you could do against it.

"Y / N ..?"

You raised your eyes to Mina, who was frowning at you.

"You're hyperventilating .." she remarked emotionless.

"I'm just dizzy ...", you gasped and stood up to run into the bathroom, or rather to stumble into the bathroom. You could feel your stomach turn as you leaned over the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl.

The world around you seemed to be spinning. The closed bathroom door became the door of your nursery, you could even hear the knock on your father's stick. And how he got closer and closer. You tried to scream, but your mouth was only a soft gasp. Tears stung your eyes. "Please .." you tried silently to get air. A hand put on your back and you instantly jumped away from the toilet. "Please don't hurt me ..", you whimpered and looked fearfully into the face of the person in front of you.

Mina stood in front of you in shock, she had never seen you like this before. And the look you gave her broke her heart. "Honey you need to calm down .." She sat carefully on the floor and grimaced as pain ran through her back. Slowly she reached out her hand to touch yours, which was a mistake. Your hand jerked back, you reached out and let your hand fall against her left cheek. "Don't touch me .." you growled. "What the hell Y / N .." Mina hissed, grabbing your cheeks and forcing you to look at her. "It's me, princess, Mina ..", she whispered and felt her own eyes fill with tears. Your eyes widened when you recognized your girlfriend. And with that you finally broke, but Mina was there to pull you into her lap while you cried into her blouse. She held you as tightly as she could while trying to process the things that had just happened. The cheek your hand had marked on it burned like fire and yet it was impossible for her to realize that you had just hit her. It had never been you, she thought. And yet it was you who was lying in her arms right now.

"I'm so sorry .." you sniffed into her blouse when you had slowly calmed down. Mina gently put her hands around your cheeks and searched your face as if it contained any answers for what had just happened. She swallowed just before speaking. "Are you scared of me, Y / N?"

When her words reached your ear, you wrapped your arms around her torso and did your best not to hurt her. You felt so damn guilty.

"I would never hurt you .." she said softly against your ear, her voice thick with tears.

"I know Mina .." you whispered. "And I could never be afraid of you .."

You drew her back before your fingers slided down her right cheek where your hand marked it. "I'm so sorry .." you repeated your words from a few seconds ago.

"I'm fine Y / N", Mina assured us and took your hand. "I'm just worried about you .. I've been watching you for the last few days, you're acting totally strange .."

"I'm okay .." you mumbled and stood up with shaky legs.

"Don't damn me lie to Y / N! ...", she hissed and there she was again, the strict Mina you loved so much.

"Mina .. I'm really fine, you just shouldn't worry .. That's why I would prefer if Ally and Delia didn't find out about what just happened ... "you said as you leaned towards the mirror to fix your hair.

Mina shook her head blankly and propped herself up. "You are unbelievably Y / N .. two minutes ago you were lying here on the floor and now you're pretending nothing happened ... You won't be able to run away forever .. "she said, took her walking stick and walked past you to leave the bathroom.

You had never spoken to anyone about it, nobody knew about what had happened in your family and actually you had sworn to yourself that you would never tell anyone about it. Simply because you felt terrible about it, somewhere Leo's suicide was also your fault because you weren't strong enough to defend him.

You ran into the hallway and saw Mina sitting at the table again. Lost in thought, she looked out the window. "I think I'll go to sleep, I'm relatively tired ..." you said. Mina didn't move an inch. "You probably won't see me again today .." you muttered and went into your bedroom to actually get some sleep.

---------------

A few hours later you woke up from a bad dream.

It was dark and the first thing you noticed was Minas lavender perfume that surrounded you. Then you realized that, despite the events of the previous day, you 4 had taken your usual sleeping position: You and Ally were in the middle. Cordelia on the right edge, next to Ally and Mina on the left edge, next to you. Mina had her arms wrapped tightly around you and your head was on her chest. Like a few hours ago in the bathroom, you noticed.

Are you scared of me, Y/N?

Mina's words echoed in your head. The sad look she gave you made you feel infinite guilt.

"Mina?" You whispered softly against her neck.

"mhm ..". Mina hummed in her sleep.

"Are you awake..?" You knew how stupid and unnecessary that question was, but you couldn't help it.

She didn't answer at first, before moving after a few seconds.

"Now yeah .." she muttered as she pressed her nose against your hair.

"I just wanted to say, I love you .." you whispered and played with the purple fabric of Mina's pajamas.

"I love you too, princess ..". Was her answer and she kissed you on the forehead. Then it became quiet again and after a few minutes you could tell from her breath that she had fallen asleep again. Unfortunately, in contrast to her, you were wide awake and therefore decided to get up. Carefully you free yourself from her arms and sat up in bed. Confused, you noticed that the place next to Ally, who was sleeping sweetly, was empty. Where was Cordelia? You carefully climbed out of bed and went to look for the blonde, only to find her in the bathroom. You crept and stopped suddenly when you saw Cordelia lying in the bathtub.

Cordelia gave you a warm smile when she saw you and you couldn't help but laugh out loud. "What's so funny?" Cordelia grinned. "You .." you uttered, still laughing. "I?"

"Yes. You .. It's two o'clock in the morning and you sit here in the dark and bathe ...". You trotted to the sink. "It's not completely dark, I lit candles ..", Cordelia defended herself. You shook your head in amusement and washed your face.

"You're sweating .." Cordelia remarked, referring to the sweat stains on your shirt. "Didn't sleep so well .." you replied curtly. "I guess you don't want to sleep again either ..?" "Nope .." You turned back to her.

"Well ... then I would love it if you kept me company here," Delia said and smiled again. You shook your head again, just grinning, before you pulled your shirt over your head and went to the tub to get into the water. Cordelia sat down so that you were sitting in front of her and your body was leaning against her bare torso. She carefully put her arms around your torso and rested her chin on your head. You lay down for a few minutes Just there and you would probably have fallen asleep had she not spoken.

"Mina told us about your dropout this afternoon .."

Of course she did..

You closed your eyes "Why don't you just tell us what's going on Y / N?" She began softly. "We're really really worried." "I can't Delia .. I've never talked about it .." you whispered. "So do you admit something is wrong?" You snorted. "Of course something is wrong .. I hit Mina."

"You know that she's not angry with you, she's just worried as I said .. You know, no matter what is on your mind, we all suffer with you, no matter whether you tell us what's going on or not .. ", Delia said and ran her wet fingers through your hair. You just nodded at her words. "You could only tell one of us if that helps you.", She offered, although she knew that this would also bring new problems. "No, I trust you all .. It's just that, as I said, I've never told anyone about it. I am just afraid of your reaction .. "you said.

"Oh y / n ..", she sighed and turned your head so that she could look you in the eye. "No matter what happened, we love you so much and nothing could change that ..". Again you nodded.

Then suddenly she got up and grabbed a towel. "What are you doing?" You asked confused when you watched her get out of the tub and dry off. "You pull the plug and get dressed ... Meanwhile, I'll wake Ally and Mina, we'll finally talk to each other .." she said and put her nightgown back on before she ran out of the bathroom.

"You won't do that, it's the middle of the night .." you shouted after her.

"I know."

You climbed out of the bathtub, trembling, and drained the water. You dried yourself off quickly and got dressed. Before you left the room, you took a quick look in the mirror. You looked like you were going to cry any minute.

"We're in the living room, Y / N .." Cordelia suddenly called. For a moment you closed your eyes, then you slowly walked into your common living room. Your 3 friends sat on the sofa and stared at you expectantly. Cordelia sat with her legs crossed, her hair wet and her short nightgown on the right end. Ally was sitting cross-legged to her left. Clad in a T-shirt and shorts, she narrowed her eyes against the light. And at the other end sat Mina, in her purple pajamas, her long red hair curling on the fabric. Her left hand held her walking stick and, as always, her gaze seemed to shine through you.

You sat in the chair in front of them when Ally held out her hand to you. "This is not a fucking interrogation Y / N ..". You carefully took her hand and she pulled you between Delia and herself. You stared nervously into your lap and played with your fingers. You could still feel their expectant looks.

"Oz looks like my little brother ..." you suddenly let out. "Is that all?" Ally asked confused. "No .." you shook your head and waited a few seconds. "..my childhood wasn't that great ... my mom had a big drinking problem I guess..". "And your father?" Cordelia asked. "Uhm, well ... he hit us when we didn't do things the way he wanted ..."

Briefly there was silence in the room. "That's awful Y / N, but what does this have to do with my son ..?" Ally finally asked.

"My brother committed suicide when he was 15 because of my parents .." you said and heard Ally take a shaky breath. "And actually I had repressed all of that over the years and when I saw Oz ... I only saw Leo ...".

You got up and walked to an unpacked box with your things. You came back with a picture, which you put into Delia's hand. It was a family photo. Delia stared hard at the photo. "Your father had a walking stick .." she said suddenly and you instinctively looked at Mina, who was staring lost at the floor. Her grip on her own walking stick had tightened so much that you could be afraid it would be squeezed by her fingers. "His left leg wasn't healthy ... that's why he hobbled ...". Delia passed the photo on to Ally, who only had eyes for the blond boy next to you. "Well .. he actually looks a bit like Oz ..", Ally only mumbled and wanted to pass the picture on to Mina, but she just shook her head. "I do not want to see this..".

Again there was brief silence and again Ally was the one breaking it. "When I told you about Ivy and said I don't want any secrets between us, I actually assumed you'd think that way too..That's why I'm kind of angry Y / N..I mean, Do you don't trust us?"

You just wanted to speak, when Cordelia came before you. "She wasn't ready yet, Ally..She-" "Cordelia, I asked Y / N and not you .." Ally hissed.

"I've never told anyone about it ..." was all you said. "But we're not just anyone .." Ally sounded disappointed. "I didn't want you guys to think wrong of me .." you said softly. Cordelia leaned forward and grabbed your hand. "What happened is not your fault .. it was your brother's decision and your parents' fault .." "But maybe I could have done more .." you whispered, tears gathering in your eyes. Cordelia just sighed and pulled you into her lap. You leaned your back against her chest and listened for her heartbeat.

"And what was yesterday?" Asked Ally. "Something must have triggered your strange behavior .." "My mother texted me .. she does that every year on my birthday .." you said.

"It was your birthday?" Ally looked at you with raised eyebrows.

You nodded briefly and made Ally moan in frustration. "If you don't even tell us that anymore, then-" "She said she would come here next week because she has to see a doctor .. She wants to meet with me .." you interrupted her. "But I don't want to see her ..", you felt tears running down your face.

Ally just shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You should have talked to us much earlier Y / N ..", Mina finally said. "Even if this is all new now, we are a family and it is our job to make sure that you are okay. We would never have left you alone with Oz, had we known about your brother .. Not just about you to protect, but also because of Oz's safety. It's important that we trust each other, we've all been through complicated things .. " You nodded guiltily again.

Cordelia cleared her throat. "The scars on your back, you told us they were from a car accident, is that true?" "No .." you said. Suddenly you felt Delia's cool fingers pulling up your shirt and exposing your scars. "Delia what-" "Shut up, Y / N .." They'd all seen your scars before, but knowing that those scars were someone's craft, made them look a lot more brutal when Delia gently ran her fingers over them. "Did he? ..- asked Mina. You nodded and tears fell into your lap as you let out a sob. "I'm sorry," you said, holding a hand over your mouth to stifle your sobs.

"Damn Y / N, stop apologizing ..". Ally jumped up, stood in front of Delia and you, pressed your head against her flat stomach and rubbed your upper back with her hand. Delia's fingers continued to slide to the scars on your side. "Was that him too?" She asked softly. "No .." you answered. "Then who was it? Your moth-" "It was her, Delia .." Mina interrupted her with closed eyes. How could they have been so blind? Such scars did not appear in car accidents.

"Is that true Y / N?", Cordelia's voice trembled when she asked. "I'm so sorry .." you sniffed at Ally's shirt. "Back then I didn't know how to deal with everything .." "Shhh princess .." Ally cooed. "Please finally stop apologizing for something you can't do anything about .."

"Honey, do you still hurt yourself sometimes?" Asked Mina, who had slipped up to you and put her hand on yours.

"I've stopped doing that since Leo's death .. I think he saw me with a knife sometimes ..". The thought of it brought new tears to your eyes and made you sob one more time.

Cordelia pulled the fabric of your shirt back down before leaning her head on your back and wrapping your arms around your waist. Mina, who was sitting next to Delia, was the only one who could see her tears as she reached out her hand to gently run through Delia's hair. "Some things are going to change now, Y / N .." she said firmly. "We'll be more careful about some things and we'll also have to see how we deal with Oz without it being uncomfortable for him or you. I'll contact your mother and make it clear to her that you don't want any more contact. We can't stop Oz looking the way he looks, but we'll help you deal with it because that's what we're here for .. ". Her thumb brushed the back of your hand, which was in her lap. That was the last thing that was said that night, but you stayed in that position for a long time. You in the midst of your worried lover

#cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #ally mayfair richards x reader #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ally mayfair richards #american horror story #cordelia goode x reader x wilhemina venable #cordelia goode x wilhemina venable x reader x ally mayfair richards

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tartagilicious · 3 years

Text

snezhnaya does not believe in broken hearts > childe

→ pov: there is no pov i’m in love with another fictional man. I’m a little rusty writing wise because of school, but someone said childe enemies to lovers and who i am i to say no to that 🥴 so, here’s his boss battle with a ✨twist✨

→ ib: this comic on twt, pls go support it i love it and cry whenever someone mentions it. also, like the comic, childe’s delusion form won’t have a mask just so it’s easier to write his expressions!

→ *there are a good amount of lines that are taken directly from his battle in the game, so beware of detailed spoilers!

You can trust him. But, don’t get too involved. The battle he pursues is dangerous; it’s not something a normal person can withstand.

Whether you realised it or not, every moment you had spent with him began to carve out a hole in your chest, bittersweetly wearing away every layer of protection you had unconsciously built up. It wasn’t a well-done job by any means; the edges it left were particularly jagged, but the softness Childe still managed to pull from them left you stunned every time it chose to peek its head out.

“Don’t be so on edge, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

It suddenly became a daily routine to expect him at some point, whether it entailed him coming upon you doing a commission in the middle of the mountains, or you crossing paths in Liyue while some type of street food balanced precariously in his grip.

Yet, what you failed to notice was that most times, he would take care to place another of the same delicacy into your hand, as if expecting to see you. Childe would meet you in the middle of the mountains not by chance, but rather by a sense of curious boredom, wherein your company was the only suitable way to pass the time.

Subsequently, the only question remaining in a scenario such as this, was what the other meant to each of them — were you truly able to push your obligations aside, or were you only getting close enough to have enough leverage to strike?

On any occasion a disarming laugh left his mouth, or he lent you his support without question, you failed to remember that you were pitched as enemies in the first place. You inevitably no longer felt the same wariness towards the harbinger over time, but it only made you that much more guilty to know just how easily you had begun to trust him.

Yet no matter the hopeful sentiments your sputtering heart provided you, you knew one thing to be true that would always remain so: you would never be on the same side.

“You’ve already fulfilled your task as guide, so why do you still linger here? Haven’t you already seen enough trouble for today?”

You had entered the Golden House apprehensively, perhaps hoping even over the Exuvia’s safety that you wouldn’t meet him there. But coming upon it and hearing the one voice you had been dreading, you begrudgingly came to terms with the fact that you would have to face reality eventually.

“Huh?” Paimon is startled by the sudden disembodied voice. “Who’s there?!”

Childe reveals himself by coming up the stairs you had just now ascended, his saunter maddeningly casual. “If you were Fatui, I imagine that you would be entitled to a generous reward from the Tsaritsa yourself.”

The way he tilts his head with such fake amiability grates across you like nails on a chalkboard. “But now you’re nothing but dross -- and you’re in my way.”

“It looks like I was just in time, then.”

Childe laughs. “Although I’m deeply grateful to you for helping me so effortlessly find this secret location… don’t you think that trying to stop me now would only be a wasted effort?”

“Stopping the mora mints, hiding away the Exuvia,” He laughs again, and your hand instinctively makes a small stretch for your weapon. “And sending you. The Qixing are really pulling out all the stops this time.”

“So you were planning to take the gnosis all along?” You ask flatly, your words swallowed by your own hesitation just after you’d barely gotten out the last word. Even though this mishap wasn’t very detectable, shame burns the back of your throat at the honesty of the reflex.

“As one of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers, it’s my duty to see the will of the Tsaritsa fulfilled. And she will get which she desires.”

You shake your head, fully grounding your hand and preparing to draw your sword. “Not if I don’t allow you to get near the Exuvia.”

“I’m not looking for your blessing, ___.” Childe narrows his eyes and takes note of this action, the implications of it drawing up a wanton sense of disappointment he had long been expecting. This varies little from your own dismay, unbeknownst to him. “There’s nothing you could do to stop me anyways.”

“The time for discussion and diplomacy has already long passed. I mean, if it were up to me, I would have skipped that stage to begin with… but, I’m willing to do as the Tsaritsa deems fit.”

“Either way,” An eyebrow arches as an equally intrigued smile pulls at the corner of his lips. “It seems we’re now coming upon my favourite part -- a simple pleasure, and one that I am oh-so delighted to be sharing with you.”

it’s as if a pin drops, and he grins. “The battle.”

You now stand at a fork. Two paths stare at you with expectant eyes, both equally enticing; but the drawbacks of the indulgent solution unfortunately long outweigh those of their obvious counterpart. It’s a decision that must be made on behalf of Liyue, not the hurt of a single heart.

Paimon scoffs, drawing you from your thoughts. “So you’re the type that goes looking for trouble, huh?”

Childe’s laughter rings out, and he throws his head back as if he had heard something particularly funny. “I guess you could say that!”

“When Signora offended the deities outside of the cathedral in Mondstadt, she swiftly left the scene once her mission was accomplished. Instead of confronting you directly, she chose to rely on the snow and ice to make an escape.”

“I would take that as far more than its face value. When she faces a worthy opponent, she will prioritise her mission, weigh the outcomes, and consider the consequences of her actions…” He explains, trailing off with an inexplicable smile. “But as for me, the greatest pleasure of being a harbinger lies in the opportunities I have to cross blades with such opponents.”

“That doesn’t mean we’ll let what happened in Mondstadt ever happen again.”

“Oh? So you do intend to fight me? Good.” Childe’s excitement baffles you and pumps adrenaline into your veins simultaneously. “I won’t kill you, ___, I’ll just play along. To feel the thrill of battle!”

“Besides,” He puts his hands out in an aimless gesture. “You could never defeat me, not even in your wildest dreams. But hey, try to relish in the fight anyways, because if you ask me… without that, what else is there?”

“I could never defeat you?!” His words get the better of you and you laugh in disbelief. “You’re completely delusional.”

He returns the laugh delightedly, igniting a fire of mixed emotions in your chest. “Fighting talk, I love it! Now, let’s see you live up to it.”

You draw your sword at the drop of his last word, taking a step back in preparation for what was to come. Childe, meanwhile, stands watching you with a brewing sensation of glee.

“This chance isn’t easy to come by, so show me all you’ve got.” Arrows infused with water begin to fly in your direction, though you avoid them in haste. “So very few ever get the chance to square off with a Fatui Harbinger, so come now, amuse me. And don’t you dare disappoint.”

You find yourself gritting your teeth at the arrogant words, taken aback at his challenging tone. “You say your colleague has found me praiseworthy, but tell me to only amuse you? That’s a disappointing downgrade.”

A lapse in the time Childe has to shoot gives you enough time to approach him, throwing out a strike of your sword that he catches with his own weapon moulded by water.

“It’s by no means an insult, ___, I’m merely proposing a challenge.” He looks at the way your blades grit against each other and grins. “And it seems you’ve accepted it.” You jump back with the force of his attack to propel yourself. A barrage of geo-aligned magic is summoned beneath your opponent with a stomp to the marble floor.

However, he sidesteps it in a similar fashion, and through a quick exchange of harsh blows, both of you stand back to scope things out. Still, the one aspect that continues to overshadow the rest of your thoughts is the way that Childe’s personality has changed under the scrutiny of battle.

The playful tone he normally sports is long gone, now replaced with a deeper and more realistic one; perhaps even slightly more menacing. It’s as if he’s been flipped into a completely different person.

He laughs maniacally as he uses his hydro vision to drive waves of water out towards you, fully intent on at least knocking you off your feet. The burst of elemental energy ends when Childe leaps back onto the ground. This gives you the leverage you need to go in with another geo attack, this time catching him off guard and launching him to the side.

Childe coughs at the force of the action, his lips curving up into a smile. “Good! No wonder signora was so wary of you.”

His body is encased in an impenetrable bubble of water in an instant, a flash of deep light lashing out from the centre before revealing Childe once again. His swords of water have since been infused by electro energy, and his clothes are darker -- the most noticeable difference, however, is the Fatui mask that had previously been slung over his hair now laid properly over his face.

“Well, that just means I can go all out! Brace yourself, this is about to get tough…” He takes a few preliminary steps. “Show me what you can do against the might of a Harbinger!”

The strikes do indeed get faster. Childe toughens up against seemingly every one of your attacks, dodging most if not all of with even more ease than before. you grit your teeth as you rush to keep up with the frequent blows thrown at you. But, in a panic and reflexive drawback, you retract your sword and desperately block with your arm instead.

Silence entraps the incredibly large room as your sword clatters noisily to the floor. Both the cloth running up the expanse of your arm and wrist piece are slashed considerably, all to reveal a shallow but long gash.

The sensation of electro wastes little time in taking effect, burning up your arm and inducing an inevitable cry of pain as both of you take a step back. Malleable emotion hangs in the heavy atmosphere, waiting to be addressed or otherwise plucked down from their higher place.

Though, his reaction in that split second shows that he might not be just as lost as you’d thought.

Childe has little courage to speak up on any of these topics, but in whatever way he chooses to ignore the berating voice in his head, he can’t push away the sensation of regret swimming in his chest. Watching your face briefly contort in pain you try so hard to hide, yet standing close and being unable to do anything about it -- it’s more real than any understating word his brain could ever feed him.

“What are you doing just standing there?” You suddenly taunt, your voice slightly hoarse as you turn to hide the blood that seeps into your clothing. “I thought you said that you were going to go all out.”

Childe knows that you're right. He had said that, but what would it mean for him to continue? Brawling with you brought the same drunkening high of adrenaline he’s been chasing since he escaped from the abyss all those years ago-- although hurting you wasn’t any sort of intention he’d ever had.

“...I’m only offering a moment to buffer, but I must say -- you’re not bad. Your swordsmanship is quite impressive.” Childe desperately swallows back anything extra that pops into his head and twirls his electrified staff. Personal desires are the last thing he can afford to pay attention to. “But, that’s about as far as you’ll get.”

You sloppily intercept a rough attack that threatens to send you flying backwards, gritting your teeth as you push back with the force of your Anemo power. It goes well for all but the way your arm begins to falter under the stress. Your head naturally follows your body’s trajectory, yet in your panic, the stroke your toed boot makes across the floor leaves a trail of blistering geo behind.

The elements present react immediately, resulting in a blinding explosion. You’re thrown off too quickly and land unsteadily, pain shooting up your arm as you exhale shakily -- you’d never had the misfortune of experiencing a hydro and electro vision working together before now.

“___, are you okay?” Paimon asks frantically, your tiny hands trying their best to locate the heart of the wound on your injured arm. “That cut looks deep, do you really think it’s a good idea to keep pushing yourself?”

You shake your head in dismissal as your eyes move with the clearing dust. “It’s fine, but my sword--?”

Once the haze disperses, you spot your sword almost instantly -- however, you also find Childe’s staff sticking haphazardly into the marble floor right next to it, its owner nowhere to be found.

A laugh sounds from behind you. “I really didn’t think you had that card hidden up your sleeve!”

Your heart drops into your stomach when you whip around to see Childe standing beside Rex Lapis’ corpse, his grin wide like he’d already won the match between you.

“You were just playing us to get close to the Exuvia!”

“Oh, quiet down. Don’t be so quick to judge. You’ve seen this world, you of all people should know...” Childe steadily gathers a ball of electro energy in his palm, the lightning fusing around his gloved hand before materialising. “That this should have been expected!”

The sound is deafening as Childe forces his hand into the Exuvia, opposing elements colliding and responding in turn. “I’ll be taking Morax’s gnosis now!”

Shockwaves come out like tides as the entire room shakes under the pressure of the single action. You’re quick to shield your injured arm from the battering wind, while Paimon latches onto the ornament covering your elbow.

Yet, much to everyone’s surprise, the hand that emerges and unfolds under the glaring light is very much empty.

Childe is taken aback by the particles of light that float from his gloved hand, laughing in frustration as well as bewilderment. “I see. Well, this is most unexpected.”

He turns to look at you through his mask, taking in the equally as surprised expression that moulds your features. But the detail that begins to surface ignites a different, and entirely real type of irritation in him, is the way that your eyes begin to change.

“Morax’s gnosis is far from another old antique,” Ningguang had prefaced this when you had visited her in the Jade Chamber, her words stable and forward. “It is a sign of Liyue’s reigning power, and also a symbol for the people to look towards; as not only a god, but also the keeper of peace. This is not something that would be hidden carelessly.”

“Many people throughout my years as a Qixing have tried to outsmart the layers close to the gnosis, however, none have succeeded. Its protector is someone of utmost secrecy whose identity I must not reveal, not even to you.”

She had sighed, placing a warm yet distant smile on her face. “But, I believe this method will continue to deter unwanted hands, along with you in their capable stead.”

Your eyes widen as you take an instinctual step back. You’d found it nearly impossible when tasked with feeding the Harbinger outdated details, though your heart feels heavy in realising that it had gone to show how much Childe truly did learn to trust you.

But, it had worked, hadn’t it? Because of this, the exuvia was somewhere far away -- in capable hands, as Ningguang had phrased it. Yet you feel little want to celebrate this small victory, immediately reminded of the situation it’s caused as Childe’s vision flares up around him, warping his figure in your eyes.

“You… You beat me to it, didn’t you?” Childe doesn’t miss your sense of victory being quickly replaced by fear, but in a fit of irritation, he takes no time in disregarding it.

He leaps haphazardly into the centre of the room, forcing you to careen out of the way as his electro vision fries the air around you. It becomes stuffy and unbearably hot in the enclosed space entirely too quickly. But, throughout the sudden drastic change in their atmosphere, you can’t help but notice the second transformation that Childe has gone through; yet rather this time, it’s much more drastic.

Once the air dissipates, Childe leaps back to the floor once again, his heavy military boots marking his step indefinitely. The attire he wears is fittingly close to armour -- presenting a deep blue and purple suit that fits like a second skin.

“Not a bad trick,” His spear of water that had since been lodged in the marble floor flies into his hand, twirling to rest on his shoulder as his voice stabilises. “But, this is going to cost you!”

The same weapon is pushed into the ground with overflowing destructive power. It quickly runs veins out like web beneath your feet, electro charge roughly and abruptly breaking the floor to reveal another space below.

You're dragged down indiscriminately amongst the falling debris, roughly colliding with the sharp edges before hitting the ground once again. Your arm, still slightly bleeding and swollen, screams at the harsh impact. Though having landed on your stomach meant that other parts of your body had absorbed most of the shock, natural reflexes had forced you to receive some of the heavier damage in your arm regardless.

There wasn’t a lot that you could do about this, however, other than pick yourself up again and hope that Childe was still too high up to see your pain clearly. Thankfully, lo and behold, a purple light just then begins to descend almost hauntingly through the smoke. It blinks out briefly before revealing Childe again as every messy part of the room is blown away by an incredible elemental power.

You hold up your uninjured arm to combat against the strong wind, wincing as your body is forced back.

“You got to the gnosis ahead of me, didn’t you?” Childe’s staff finally rests in his hand, however, the aura he gives off alone is enough to make you antsy. “Did you simply move faster? Or… did you leak the information regarding the Golden House to me on purpose?”

“...You’ve outsmarted me, ___. But that doesn’t mean the information won’t be in my hands by the time we’re done.” Another electric current fills the room as he moves to make an attack. “So, fight hard knowing there's something of such value on the line.”

Your eyes flicker around the room for your sword as you say, “How do you know that I have any of the information you need? That’s betting a lot on nothing.”

He laughs, the familiar sound chilling.

“You don’t have to be omnipotent to take a best guess. Besides, I’m confident enough in knowing that you’re smart enough to play me, so a battle between friends to determine that isn’t too much of a stretch, is it?”

You spot the sword and take a hesitant step towards it, attempting to return his words as a distraction. “It’s strange to call me a friend and threaten to put a knife in my chest in the same sentence. I thought you said that you weren’t going to kill me?”

Childe pauses, debating his next words carefully. “...Conditions are ever-changing.”

“If they were going to change so drastically, you should have told me earlier. Maybe then I could’ve figured out how to explain something I don’t know the answer to.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, ___.” His delusion’s deeper tone makes even the most playful of his words sound threatening. You stand your ground, though, knowing that no matter what your apprehension presents, nothing will change the fact that your weapon is only a mere step away.

“I know that you can tell me.”

You know I can? The supposedly comforting statement bounces around in your head, creating a ringing in your ears and a painful drumming against your temples. It’s not that simple, you think. There's little he wouldn’t be able to get from you if gone about the right way, however, as long as the information remained important, it would stay unattainable to even him.

You grit your teeth, feet twisting boldly into a position that’ll make it easier to leap in the direction you need. “I won’t tell you anything,” The leap is short and filled with almost too much strength, but you make up for any shortcomings by turning to block the incredibly close blow Childe had thrust out to stop you.

You push your sword against his with the force of all of your irritation, jaw clenched as your words come out in a single breath. “Because I know that I don’t have anything to say to the person that betrayed me.”

Unsurprisingly, words like those are some of the last that Childe wants to hear at that moment. No amount of guilt tripping or humiliation was typically enough to get to him, however, your simple declaration hits him in a spot that he’s long tried to bury.

Childe scoffs, pretending that he hadn’t blatantly hesitated. “You’re not fit to be here if you’re shaken by the betrayal of someone like me. Take it from me and give up while you’re ahead.”

You’re stunned by Childe’s brutal words for a brief moment, leaving him an important window to more easily knock your weapon away, out of your weakened hands. His blade meets your throat with little hesitation, the cool water stinging against your overheated skin.

Childe’s eyes wander to the way your body turns slightly to protect your injured arm, and disregarding the way his stomach twists, he shakes his head. “What’s wrong, ___? The way you are now won’t be able to defeat me.”

He looks at the way you hesitate and the already putrid feeling in his gut turns rotting. You make no more effort to fight back despite your strength, nor move the weapon lying firmly right over one of your weakest points.

“I might end up killing you if you don’t tell me where the gnosis is.” Childe tries to push you further, but is taken aback when your brows knit as if frustrated. You know very well that he’s someone with bad intentions, yet why do you continue to yearn to see the good in him? To see the carefree person you’d known before today?

You don’t respond, unmoving beneath his heavy gaze for all but the way your hands begin to slowly hover up towards the sword pressuring your neck.

Why can’t you stop?

Your shaking hands take the blade lightly in your grip, the vision-adjacent water searing your battered skin. A droplet of sweat slides down your cheek yet all you can focus on is the way Childe’s eyes instantly delve into panic.

“If you’re going to kill me, you should hurry up and save us both the suffering.”

The sudden powerful statement sounds unreal coming from such a weakened person, blood running down your fingers as you force his sword away.

“What makes you think that your death would cause me any harm?” Childe’s heart thumps wildly beneath his clothes as he lets his weapon be redirectioned, but his brows furrow. “I used you. Do you have yet to realise that?”

“You think I’m so inept that I would believe in someone so fast?” Your fingers go to nestle in the fabric of your skirt, the clothing acting as a temporary shield from the pain. “It was no secret that you weren’t someone to be trusted.”

“Then why lead me here if you’re so confident in yourself? Surely you don’t think that picking a fight with me was a sound idea?”

“You came here yourself. I was never looking to fight.” You mumble truthfully, taking your hand away from your skirt to reveal your palms stained with blood. “...I only said what I did because I don't like hurting those I care about.”

Childe stands paralysed in shock upon hearing such honest words, his mouth opening and closing as he rushes to process their meaning. What could he possibly say to that?

You hadn’t left a single mark on him despite believing that you were fighting for your life, whereas he had prioritised outside matters over listening to his internal backlash -- he had hurt you in a simple twisted warning.

“___, you--”

He’s barely able to get a sentence out before you sigh, going up to him with little hope before wrapping your arms around him.

Childe exhales unsteadily, his weapons then evaporating as his torso and arms instinctively straighten up. Moments of complete stillness go by unhindered. But, you wait patiently for any type of response from the man in your arms.

“...___.” He finally mumbles this from above your head, voice incredibly soft. “What do you think you’re doing?”

You’re at a loss as for how to respond, because truthfully -- the answer is mostly lost even to you. All you can do is drown in the silence that you’ve created, heart picking out the worst parts of the way his posture stays tense.

Childe groans abruptly, his delusion slowly beginning to break down to reveal his normal clothes. “Come on,”

As if something restricting him had suddenly been removed, he staggers and sinks to his knees, body going limp at the sudden lapse in support of his vision. Though fortunately, you follow him even while he goes down.

Your arms struggle to support the sudden weight as his chin lulls forward, colliding with your shoulder just as your knees hit the floor. He’s not entirely weak, you think, noticing the way he purposely tries to shift a lot of pressure off of you. Though you don’t know much about his delusion, it seems viable to assume that the form had just exhausted a decent amount of energy.

You feel the heat of his hands hesitantly coming upon your sides, but much to your disappointment, they quickly retract before he mumbles, “You’re a fool.”

“I know.” You whisper. “But, it’s too late. I can’t give up on you now.”

Childe scoffs, the sound muffled by your shoulder as he brings his arms up around you. He embraces you so tightly that it’s as if you’ve struck something inside him.

Those words are so unfair, they almost give me hope.

#hey I’m only like 75% satisfied with this but content is content baby #genshin impact #genshin impact childe #genshin impact tartaglia #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #chilumi #yall thought you got rid of me huh #I’m here to spam writings within the next week to the best of my ability and there’s nothing you can do to stop me >:D

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kuiinncedes · 3 years

Text

just the keys to paradise

jatp au - prologue - part 1/15? - 1834 words

relationships: blaine & sam & tina & artie

okkkk we're doing it 🤪 idk how regularly i will update this (omg ongoing fic??? who is she) but i do have like technically a ~few~ chapters i guess done,,, and i am working on the next so . we're gonna try this lol

anyway if it wasn't clear this is an au based on the most amazing tv show ever with only 9 episodes pls watch or rewatch it on netflix the emmy-award winning julie and the phantoms !!! 🤪

that being said if you haven't watched it what are you doing jk i think you can still read this and hopefully it makes sense 😂 feel free to ask me if there's anything that doesn't make sense lol :)

also fyi in case it influences your decision to read: this will be more focused on platonic relationships for a while but will almost certainly have main endgames klaine, quinntina, and samcedes 😋

prologue title and lyrics in this part from "now or never" from the jatp soundtrack

plot and some dialogue from julie and the phantoms so like credit to all those creators and writers 🤪

warnings for this part: car accident, major character deaths (both of these are not actually in writing/"on screen" just implied at the end (especially within the context of this being a jatp au) and nothing really described -- if you want/need more details feel free to ask me)

read on ao3 or under the cut :D

1995

“Dudes, we fucking killed that !” Sam cheers when the smoke has cleared, going around and giving each of them something that could be called a high-five, just not to their hands. Tina laughs and cheers too as Sam excitedly taps her feet after she gets out from behind her kit, still elevated on the drum stage. Some of the workers applaud them from the audience space.

“Too bad we wasted that on the soundcheck,” Artie jokes, putting his guitar down and grabbing his water bottle. “That was the tightest we’ve ever played, yo!”

Tina grins and hops down from the drum platform. Sam slings an arm around her shoulders and she grabs his wrist. They’re both sweaty and too warm but she doesn’t mind having Sam’s heat pressed against her right side.

God, she thinks… that really was something else, even though it was just the soundcheck. She looks around at her bandmates’ faces -- shiny with sweat, red with exhilaration and exertion, bright with elation, eyes wide with excitement and --

Wow. They’re playing the Orpheum.

Blaine pats Artie on the back, jostling him enough to spill the water he’s trying to drink down the front of his shirt, but Artie just laughs -- he’s soaked with sweat anyway. They have spare clothes backstage just for this reason.

“Just wait until tonight, guys, when this place is packed with record execs,” Blaine says, looking out wonderingly into the empty (for now) audience. His grin widens almost imperceptibly, which is impressive considering how huge it already is.

“We’re gonna be legends!” the other three of them chorus, before Blaine can, and they laugh when he turns to them, affronted. “That’s my line!”

“It’s what you get for saying it ten times a day for the last month!” Tina teases. Blaine pushes her shoulder playfully, putting his hand within reach for Sam to grab. It’s a strange position considering Sam’s arm is still around Tina’s shoulders, but Tina adds her hand to their hold as Sam beckons Artie over from his side of the stage, barking out his name with joking anger.

Artie puts his water down and walks over to complete the group, placing his hand on top of Tina’s. “Tina, you were smokin’,” he says.

She rolls her eyes a little and grins back. “Pretty sure you’re just talking about the pyro. You guys were the ones on fire,” she says, pointing her drumsticks around at them.

“T, can you just own your awesomeness for once?” Blaine exclaims.

“Queen T!” Sam calls, pulling her closer into his side. She stumbles into him, laughing as the guys all start cheering it after Sam.

“Okay, okay! Thanks, guys, I got it!” she squeals, trying to get them to quiet down although -- they are in the Orpheum, where they’re playing later, it’s not like they have to be quiet -- while Sam leans his weight on her, causing them to stagger into the drum riser. Tina catches herself on it and Sam finally detaches from her and they’re still being loud and raucous and probably somewhat annoying to the staff, but she’s just laughing too hard to care.

“We’ve got an hour ‘til the show; I say we go celebrate before we become legends!” Blaine proclaims, jumping off the stage. The other three follow.

Tina starts, “Celebrate our last night of being -- ”

“Losers?” Artie interjects.

They’ve caught the attention of one of the Orpheum workers -- a woman with brown hair who’s wiping down the tables, smiling at them as Tina catches her eye. “There’s some nice restaurants around here,” she says with a wink. “You guys really killed it, by the way. But it seems like you know that.”

Blaine laughs, a little sheepishly. “Thanks. Uh, I’m Blaine,” he says. “This is -- ”

“Sam, hi!”

“Tina, how’s it going -- ”

“Artie, hey.”

Tina raises her eyebrows and stifles a laugh at Artie as he leans his sweaty arms onto the table that the woman just cleaned.

“We’re Sunset Curve!” Blaine says to complete their introduction.

“Tell your friends!” Sam calls, raising his voice and drawing the other workers’ attention to them. Tina elbows him lightly in the side.

“Nice to meet you,” the stranger says. “I’m Elle. So… what were you guys thinking for this -- what was it -- ‘celebration of your last night as losers’?”

“Well, we really can’t afford any nice places -- ” Sam starts.

“Oh, you know what? We should just go to Tip Top!” Blaine says, clapping his hands together. The others are quick to agree -- it’s the small, cheap diner where they spent the evening after their first “real” gig, and they’ve spent countless hours there since, annoying the staff and depleting their supply of plastic silverware. The employees there have learned to let them take what they legally can (and sometimes what they couldn’t), and the band is friendly with most of them. They haven’t been there in too long, having been working hard to get the Orpheum gig, and then writing and rehearsing like crazy once they got it.

Elle smiles as they excitedly and loudly recount stories of Tip Top to each other -- sentimental memories and the ridiculousness they got up to -- talking over each other and having multiple conversations at once.

“I guess you don’t need my recommendations?” she says lightly.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry, we’re good, thanks so much for offering,” Blaine answers, polite as ever.

“Have fun! Looking forward to seeing you guys perform again tonight.”

“Thank you!” the four of them exclaim as they make their way back to the exit. Tina yanks on the back of Artie’s shirt as he lingers at the table, a dumb look on his face that tells her he’s trying to flirt, or at least, his version of it.

“Tina!” Artie yelps and she laughs at the annoyed look on his face.

“You are not exempt from this last night of loser-dom celebration. You’re telling me you’d rather flirt with a girl than this?”

“Yes,” Artie grumbles. There’s no heat behind it, and Tina playfully pushes him sideways.

“Plus, we need you to drive.”

“You can drive!”

“Technically we all can drive!” Tina laughs at Artie’s horrified expression, probably at the prospect -- and memory -- of the one time Blaine drove them to a gig. “Just not your car!” she calls, jogging to catch up with Blaine and Sam, Artie running after her. “Your car is the fucking worst.”

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

“Blaine and Sam agree!”

That gets their attention and the two guys turn, Blaine asking, “What are we agreeing with?”

“I agree with Tina,” Sam says immediately. Tina nods gratefully at him.

“You don’t even know what we’re talking about!” Artie complains.

They’re at his beat-up car now and they pile in, Tina in the passenger seat laughing as Sam all but tackles Blaine into the backseat when he starts for the driver’s side, jostling her and Artie in the front. They continue shuffling around while Artie attempts to start the car, to many concerning -- but normal for his car -- noises.

“This thing is gonna go down and take us with it, Artie,” Tina mumbles teasingly, absentmindedly twirling a drumstick in her right hand. (She realizes too late that she probably should’ve left them at the Orpheum, but it’s not a big deal -- they’re not her favorite pair which are safe in their studio and she has extras backstage in case something happens to this pair while they’re out.)

The car finally starts with a rumble and Artie lets out a cheer. “We’re fine, T. Let’s go, y’all!”

“Floor it, Artie!” Sam calls from the back. The car accelerates comically slowly even as Artie presumably “floors it,” but they’re going somewhere.

After a few minutes, Tina finds herself unconsciously humming her solo in the bridge of “Now or Never,” only noticing when Sam interjects suddenly with his “Tomorrow!” leaning between the front seats and slightly startling her. She laughs and continues with the words, “‘Cause we got all we need today! ”

“Today!” Artie echoes, miming his guitar playing with one hand on the steering wheel.

“Living on a feeling that’s been running through our veins!” Blaine sings loudly, joining Sam in crowding into the front of the car.

“We’re the revolution that’s been singing in the rain!” It’s Sam’s line, but they all belt it at the top of their lungs together.

“That’s my line!” Sam exclaims at the same time that Blaine cheers, “My favorite line!” Tina continues to clap the beat for the next part of the song, Artie hitting the steering wheel in rhythm with her. Her face hurts from smiling.

“Artie, dude, where’d you go?” Blaine asks suddenly. Tina looks around at their slowly darkening surroundings that are completely unfamiliar. Slight panic rises in her stomach but she swallows it down; she’s with her boys, they’re safe, just a little lost.

Sam bursts out in uproarious laughter as Artie complains, “You guys distracted me!”

“Told you I should’ve driven!” Blaine says. He leans forward again and Sam follows. Tina stays quiet, pressing herself against the door a little to make room; her boys aren’t that much better but she’s always been completely hopeless with navigation and directions.

“You would’ve gotten even more distracted from singing and veered us right into a fucking building,” Artie grumbles, but he obeys as Blaine directs him to turn left and chooses to ignore his comment.

“Safe driving, am I right, dudes?” Sam cackles as he returns to the backseat, and Tina can’t help but laugh with him. “We’re gonna miss our gig, that’s how we’ll be legends!”

“‘Sunset Curve Skips Orpheum Showcase For No Reason’?” Tina suggests, turning around in her seat to face Sam.

He points at her. “Exactly. Or, 'Sunset Curve Skips Orpheum Showcase Because They Don't Know How To Drive.' The end of a promising career,” he jokes somberly. “No one would ever book them again.”

They fall silent and only the mutters of Blaine and Artie fill the car, along with the loud engine.

“Still haven’t figured it out yet?” Sam groans loudly, laying on his back across the backseats as Blaine is leaning awkwardly out of his seat to help Artie navigate.

“Not like you’re helping!” Artie says.

“That’s the street!” Blaine exclaims, pointing ahead. “The next intersection.”

“Give it up for Mr. Blaine Anderson, everyone,” Artie drawls, speeding up the car a little bit. “Perhaps not able to drive, but navigator extraordinaire.”

“You chose the wrong career path, dude,” Sam says, propping himself up on one elbow to clap Blaine’s shoulder. “Like, songwriting?”

Blaine looks down at him, raising an eyebrow. “Songwriting?” He gestures for Sam to continue.

Sam shrugs, sitting up finally. “Just, you know, songwriting, bro…" His gaze suddenly shifts and fixes at a point beyond Tina. "What th-- that car Artie!”

Tina snaps her gaze away from Sam just in time to see him yank Blaine down into his seat and the set of blinding headlights through the car windows in her periphery.

---

as a final note, i'm not sure if it can be seen this way but i'm not trying to erase artie's disability or anything and i believe i'm not doing that; as you might be able to guess, the car accident at the end of this is what paralyzes him, like in glee canon but just several years later (in his life not in actual time). please let me know if any aspect of this is disrespectful or anything <3

#i guess the warnings do kinda spoil it but it is the main point of the show lol #bye i'm stressed alksdhfgkajdhkkdsjf #kurt and the phantoms #i'm making a fucking tag for this yeahhh #will probably go back and tag some things where i shared lines or whatever lol bc i couldn't shut up about this 😂#this will be following the songs on the soundtrack... all of them not just the ones that are episode titles 👀#i'm really excited i love my ideas aksdghdfjkghlsdfjghkasdjf #so i hope i can do them well haha and i hope posting will help me keep motivated #but also i'm just really excited about it and want to share #and kinda reminding myself how i'm fine with wips being not updated for a long time or abandoned like it's not too big of a deal #so if that happens with this the person i'll be disappointing most is myself 😂#omg now or never came on shuffle while i'm putting it on ao3 a sure sign i should post lmao #what the fuck is ao3 doing putting spaces after italicized words excuse me???? kldhgklsdjfgh #AHHHH ok shit here we go????#dude editing this took way too long and it was just removing fucking spaces before and after italicized words after copying and pasting #from docs to ao3 and then from ao3 to tumblr???? why ??????#so i have forgotten anything else i wanted to say lol i will also put other tags in a second #ahhhjkdgfhkjlsdfgkahd;lkjadfghsdljighaksfd #glee #glee fic #jatp #julie and the phantoms #blaine anderson #tina cohen chang #sam evans #artie abrams #glee fanfiction #my ficsssss #ALSO this is why i've been on some blamtina bullshit lately lol 🤪 we got some blamtina comingggggg #and kurt of course ahhhh :DDD

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thatsjustrwde · 3 years

Note

For the RWBY character prompt thing: you gotta tell me about Ironwood for sure! And if somebody already asked, how's about Qrow? :)

OH BABEY A DOUBLE (I’m gunna put Qrow in a separate post to avoid making this too long) thank you so much!

Warning: This is a PRO IRONWOOD POST. I also go into team RWBY taking responsibility for their abuse towards Ozpin. Don’t read this if you don’t like it. You’ve been warned

My top three two ships for Ironwood

1) Ironqrow (Ironwood x Qrow) {Volumes 3-7}

I have loved the idea of these two since the fall of beacon. When they first interacted, I wasn’t too sure about them because it seemed like they didn’t really like each other.. but that scene where all the robots were turning on beacon and Qrow spotted ironwood, ran at him with his scythe, only to jump over him and save him from a Grimm, sold the ship to me. It was clear that they didn’t actually despise each other. Qrow wasn’t quick to point fingers; he knew that what was going on wasn’t James’ fault, and he even tried to add a little bit of comic relief to the scene. (When ironwood’s ship fell, and Qrow smirked “well, it won’t be much of a walk”)

My love for the ship was reinforced in v6 (yeah I know it was the fan service volume but I’m rolling with it anyway). Qrow knew that they HAD to get to ironwood in order to complete their goal. He trusted James, and he knew that he was a smart and capable leader who would know what to do (ah,, the good old days ;;)

And then in the early episodes of v7, their bickering that we once saw in v3 was non existent. They were happy to see each other, and James even initiated a hug. He was just so relieved to see him ;; it made my heart melt, I remember posting about this moment so much, all over instagram and tumblr. I loved them so dearly.

2) Ironwood x Glynda (idk if they have a ship name)

God,, I always loved them. that scene in v2 with Ironwood and Glynda standing together in the dead of night looking over the city of vale was so special to me. I love Glynda and her character, she is so dynamic. that scene with her and ironwood showed to us that she truly respected and cared for him and his well-being. She was worried for him as well. I just wish they had more interactions before his death. they would have been very sweet and POWERFUL together.

My three least favourite ships for Ironwood

1) Ironqrow {Volumes 7-8}

Oh boy. RT really knows how to take something good and just, ruin it huh.

I feel as though I don’t need to dive too deep into this (as I’ll be covering Ironwood’s fall from grace later) but yeah... The fight with Qrow and Clover was.. unfortunate. Everyone seemed to lose their braincells in that scene, and the moment it was over, Qrow was dead set on killing Ironwood for some reason even though he was the one who decided to side with a literal murderer, but go off MKEK you really did something there...

Yepp this absolutely killed the ship for me in canon (though I stilln love thinking about them out of the canon setting), I was an absolute wreck after this scene. they deserved better.

2) Ironwood x Winter

don’t worry I’m not about to pull the “IRONWOOD WAS AN ABUSIVE FATHER FIGURE AND GROOMED HER CAREERRHYUGGHR” no.

I always saw Ironwood as a POSITIVE father figure to winter, even before v7. We knew that winter was one of his best soldiers, and was most likely one of his students before then. I believe that Ironwood gave winter a chance at something great, to leave her actual abusive father and hone her skills as a soldier instead of becoming the heiress to a company that she did not want to be tied to. I believe Ironwood was a stellar father figure and role model to her, and that is the reason why I do not ship them. their relationship was so much deeper than that. it was found family.

3) Ironwood x Salem

What the fuck. Like actually what? This was a thing? What is it with this fandom and glorifying abusive relationships... I remember seeing a lot of people trying to justify it like “awh salem was so sweet with him she just wanted him to stop fighting. She would leave him alone after!!” Thats manipulation honey, we don’t fuck with that here. no. Absolutely not

My biggest criticism for Ironwood

See: the reason I made this side blog

It’s no secret to us in the RWDE community that his fall into the role of the villain was POORLY WRITTEN AND WE ALL HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. where the hell did this even come from? oh I know! TEAM RWBY LYING TO HIS FACE AFTER HE WAS NOTHING BUT KIND AND GENEROUS TO THEM. god I’m heated already.

I’ve talked about his stupid semblance before but it doesn’t even matter because his semblance wasn’t the cause of his descent anyway. We were all HOPING that it was but nope! it was him “losing his humanity” because he lost his other arm. How fucked up is that.

Shitty writing aside, I know James had flaws even before the shitshow that was v7-8, but honestly there was nothing he did that I can criticize harshly. He was a good and honest man with good intentions and a pure, big heart made of gold. Of course he made mistakes and of course he wasn’t perfect, but he was always trying to do the right thing to protect the people. He was a good man until MKEK decided they needed a reason to kill off another headmaster.

My favourite thing about Ironwood

his MUSCLES

His willingness to sacrifice himself to save others. During the fall of beacon he told the students that they didn’t have to stay, even though he could have used the help greatly. But he KNEW that they weren’t ready to handle a crisis like this, and he didn’t want to force them into a responsibility that could have left them emotionally/physically damaged, or worse.

During the Ironwood and Watts fight, IRONWOOD MANGLED HIS OWN ARM TO CAPTURE WATTS. He was so headstrong and brave and he wanted to do everything he could to prevent Salem, even if that meant hurting himself and losing another part of himself. God I miss him so much ;; I’m tearing up a little writing all of this...

A head canon I have for Ironwood

I love creating head canons for characters, it always makes them feel more real to me. one of my biggest head canons is that, in a peaceful world setting, he would enjoy sleeping in on the weekends. ;;. He is a headmaster AND a general which means he has to follow a strict schedule all the time. Maybe this is coming from my desire to take care of him and make sure he is happy and healthy and not stressed out.. But yeah, lazy Sundays, sleeping in late. pls let him sleep he needs so much sleep. What I would change about Ironwood if I were making a rewrite

Strap in kiddos I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time. I’m sure that someone has come up with a similar concept, but I will share my ideas anyway (: I am going to preface this by saying that for this rewrite to work, we need to have Winter receive the Winter maiden powers from Freya in V7. To start, we will have to go back all the way to v2 when Ironwood was first introduced. I would have Ozpin and Glynda share their concerns to each other about Ironwood bringing all of his ships to look over the festival, but I would take that time to thoroughly explain his semblance. His semblance is stupid, so I would make some changes. To start off, I wouldn’t make it passive. The way it is now is just,, a weird way to give him a mental illness without actually giving him a mental illness. Activating it would have to be a decision that he made if he knew that he had to make decisions that would be hard for him. This way if his semblance caused him to do something actually horrible, he would be directly accountable for it, instead of blaming him for something that he couldn’t control. Semblances are a representation of the user, so with time and with more stress put onto Ironwood, I could see him falling victim to his own semblance if he were to abuse it too much. This will help as we lead into a better way to write his fall from grace.

From there, I would keep pretty much everything the same until we get to v7. Team RWBY arrives in Atlas and gets arrested and brought to Ironwood just as they do in canon. This time, however, we have Oscar explain EVERYTHING. No lying. Salem cannot be killed. Oscar explains that Ozpin shut himself off after team RWBY forced the truth out of him, and while the truth is a lot for Ironwood to handle, he understands why Ozpin kept it a secret. He shuns team RWBY for their methods and explains why their actions were unnecessary and abusive, but agrees to help them anyway since he knows that they all need to come together if this is going to work. Hence, his arc kind of goes backwards. Instead of team RWBY having his trust from the beginning, they will need to work to gain it back.

He takes Oscar under his wing to try and draw Ozpin back out. He greets Qrow, they fall in love, he also formally introduces the team to the Ace Ops. The Ace Ops take an IMMEDIATE backseat in the story. We don’t need more characters. For the sake of this rewrite specifically, they are barely around. We are focusing on Ironwood and his growth/relationships. I would explore more times to show the deep connection between him and Winter. As I said earlier, I see him as a healthy father figure for her, so I would definitely focus on that for a bit. At this point, Winter would not have received the maidens power yet, so we could have a scene of him assuring her that she is a perfect fit for the role, and encouraging her and just,, you know, solidifying that he wasn’t pressuring her into doing it.

Carrying on with the main plot, instead of being left in the dark for the whole season, Ironwood is already aware that Salem cannot be killed. This gives him and the rest of the team a lot of time to work on a new plan to defeat her. They spend lots of time training, Ironwood takes care of them, offering his resources to them. Overtime the team do start to gain his trust little by little again, but this will all kinda fall apart when Salem arrives.

With stress levels higher than ever, he activates his semblance. Team RWBY and friends KNOW about his semblance and they understand why he is acting irrationally. Maybe they have different ideas than him, but they would not directly oppose him. This completely fixes him from becoming a cartoon villain. Team RWBY and friends would work WITH Ironwood at a distance to fix amity and get global communications back up safely. From there, Ironwood could deliver a message to the world about Salem. Since people know who he is, it will make the message more impactful. Just like he did with his message to Mantle.

Qrow and Winter are positives in his life. They keep trying to ground him and bring him back to reality, but he will not deactivate his semblance. He is too scared of what’s to come with Salem. They support him in this, and do not turn their back on him.

Winter receives the maiden’s power, and is told to open the vault to obtain the staff and raise atlas further into the sky to save his people. Winter agrees, why wouldn’t she? They have already evacuated most of mantle to atlas anyway. In situations like this it’s impossible to save everyone. RWBY could whine and bitch if they wanted to, but there is nothing they could do in this situation because, for the sake of this rewrite, they wouldn’t be as stupid as they are in the canon proper.

The vault is open and the staff is vulnerable. It is in this moment that the ACTUAL VILLIAN comes into play. Watts took advantage of the security from behind the scenes, giving Salem the exact time that the vault was open. And thanks to him overhearing everything, he knows that all she needs to do is use the staff, and Atlas will fall. Salem appears in the room, and the big finale battle would occur. They weren’t ready yet. They hadn’t finalized the plan to stop her without killing her. Team RWBY Oscar and Qrow would do their best to keep Salem distracted while Winter and Ironwood speak to the staff. Meanwhile, Neo could breach Ironwood’s office and retrieve the relic of knowledge for Salem.

The battle plays out, she keeps coming back, the team gets tired, Salem loses her patience and just PLOWS through them to get to the staff. She enters the realm and the mystical world around them begins to shatter and break. With that much concentrated evil in this place coming up out of nowhere, it would be sure to shift the balance.

She goes head to head against Winter and Ironwood for the staff. She knows that using the staff will cause Atlas to come crashing down, so that is exactly what she does. Since he is already out, she just gives him a command. It doesn’t matter what it is. Atlas starts to fall. She strikes a lethal blow to Ironwood (Keeping the theme of her killing headmasters) and flees with the staff. Qrow runs to his side, he and winter are crying, Team RWBY is upset, OZPIN IS UPSET. With his aura broken and his semblance down, he smiles at them all, says that he is proud of them for their work and he knows that they will find a way to defeat her. He tells them to get out and save themselves, save as many people as they can. They do that, but for further angst, Qrow stays with him, holding him and crying against him as Atlas falls. Team RWBY use the gravity dust keeping Atlas falling slowly to their advantage. They get as many people as they can into airships and send them to mistral. They then make their own way to Vacuo... Since global communications are back up, the world would know about this. This would give Shade academy a good chance to prepare. (damn I could write a fic)

What I think of Ironwood’s allusion and what I would change.

It’s dumb the way that CRWBY has portrayed it. In the story of the Wizard of Oz, the tin man doesn’t have a heart, but learns to love overtime. I used THIS aspect for helping my rewrite of Ironwood. He was hardened at the beginning, but managed to trust again and eventually smiled and said that he was proud of team RWBY and friends in his dying moments. It’s just more impactful that way I think.

#long post #ironwood #pro ironwood #ironqrow #rwde #rwby crit

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asuraaa · 3 years

Note

Question: What inspired you to make this comic/these characters?

TL;DR: MY LOVE OF OCS, HISTORY, AND BL DRAMA.

LONG VERSION: okay it really is kinda hard to pin any specific inspiration other than i just really like OCs and historical fiction and this character dynamic, but i feel like i get this question and similar ones a lot SO I'M JUST GONNA REALLY DIG INTO IT THIS TIME, give as thorough of an answer as i can.

so in 2009, i played ragnarok online. A LOT. i played with my friend jenny (who is the comic co-writer) and we would make dumb characters and then get super attached to them. she made an airship pirate sniper named cicada, and i made a posh politician wizard named gladimir. they looked like this:

my goal in designing glad was to make him the prettiest OC i had. most of my OCs are like... lanky old men and quirky ugly dudes, but glad was going to be GORGEOUS. and thus i made him to my taste, the prettiest boy i could manage. i'm just really into twinky pretty boys with bobs, so i guess you could call them my inspiration. here's some OG 2009 gladios:

they're a dime a dozen in mainstream media now, see lio fotia, yuri plisetsky, shion kiba, that fairy prince from FGO... but glad predates them all, i was just following my heart LOL. characters like xellos from slayers or garma from gundam may have played a subconscious inspo role, but i only realized this in hindsight years later. tho weirdly enough they're both purple:

anyway, jenny and i RPed a lot; having a friend to RP and be invested in OCs with you is always hugely invaluable inspiration for anything, i think! eventually our ragnarok online story kinda hit a dead end and got dropped for a while, until we picked it up again in 2015, and started exploring... ALTERNATE UNIVERSES. and the AU of "what if glad was a prince" just fucking TOOK OFF. insert old 2015 first doodle here:

inspiration for THAT came from an alanis morissette song that i've linked before, which was this one LOL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGYCyQfbFHM

it gave me the idea for the golden trial in the comic, which served as the base for a whole new world of RP and plot building. IN FACT i would say that music in general became a huge point of inspiration, specifically french music due to the nature of glad's made up country being some french/english hybrid. so on that note, let me link you some more inspiration songs:

- french drama vibes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN4VLmo1QG4

- french emotional vibes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfW5FQ5iv2E

- english plot vibes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAI5mYVWotI

the inspo for the overall aesthetic of the characters just comes purely from history and historical fiction vibes that i like. royal european clothing and the age of sail are hot. i think there's some subconscious inspiration from utena and gundam as well:

and inspo for the overall story i cant attribute to anything specific other than my friend’s interest, love for BL comics, and glad and cicada's character tropes. i love a classic brain & brawn duo, i love a short king with top energy, i love a heart of gold rowdy boy, and i love when you think two characters are completely opposite and then they turn out to be actually pretty similar. i don't know of any media that specifically fed me these vibes within the time frame we were making this story, but i will say that when promare came out it was PRETTY DAMN GREAT. here's glad dressed as lio because image breaks:

lastly, what inspired me to actually make the comic: memento mori. like many people, i just sit on my flat ass making stories with my friends that will never be shared outside of that friend group, and for the most part i am 100% perfectly okay with this! but deep down i just knew i wanted to actually make a comic... i wanted to be able to look back on my life and say HEY, YOU DID IT, YOU MADE A THING. i'm a story lover, i'm a story teller, and i just needed to finally indulge in this in a more tangible way. dead men tell no tales.

i was in my 30s when i started drawing the comic. it's never too late to start. >:9 start yours today.

o and i guess the narrative itself is just a general mishmash of ideas and tropes i think are fun, there’s no specific inspo there either. i like 90s anime, old video games, historical movies and documentaries, etc. i do pull from age of sail and pirate history for sure, that’s def a general inspiration for me! here’s some of my books on the subject, feel free to ask me for more titles/reccs if you’re into this stuff huhu:

ALSO, the comic had no name until after i started drawing it, but the name came from a song as well, pls enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R-BR9bzdMM

anyway i guess that's the deep dive into the inspo! if i think of anything else i'll just add it in later but MAN IF YOU READ THIS FAR, YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. hope this answered everything and more, thanks for the question!!

#anonymous #tl;dr

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whumpywhumper · 3 years

Text

Home

Masterpost

Set sometime in the future

TW: graphic depiction of panic attack but mostly fluff

@misspelledwitch @insanitywishes @imagination1reality0 @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @voidwhump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @captivity-whump @liliability @muumimafia @fanastywhump @elisabethrosewrites @unsure-but-alive-752 @jeverest00 @texdoeshalo @fanmanga1357-blog

Special thanks to: @0idril0 @rosesareviolentlyread @walkingchemicalfire @quirkykayleetam

V***V

Markus was walking down the street slowly. Trying for all he was worth to make it look like a stroll rather than a limping lurch.

It was hard with the way his hip and thigh were aching, but he’d been an okay actor in high school. His Hamlet was to die for, or so he’d been told.

He huffed, hitching up his jeans as they tried to slide down his hips again. The thick denim was loose around his waist, the weight he’d lost while still with Lucien and in the hospital absent from his lean frame. He hadn’t had the time, or the inclination, to go shopping for more clothes, and Illyn had brought what she could fit into a duffle bag from his wardrobe in Salem.

It had been weeks since he’d been dressed in anything other than sweats and loose basketball shorts, and he wasn’t going to let the pain in his leg interfere with going out with Ben and Kincaid. They’d invited him along, pulling him away from the files they’d reluctantly allowed him to have so that the could help with the case. Claimed that a stupid rom-com was just what he needed to gain some perspective.

Markus wasn’t sure that was true, but he was happy to be out now.

Kincaid bumped into his shoulder, and Markus looked up at the slightly taller man, Kinciad’s eyebrow raising as he cocked his head, a silent question in his hazel eyes. You okay?

Of course, his answering smile said. Why wouldn’t I be? His shoulders asked.

Kincaid didn’t look completely convinced, but he held the door open for Markus and Ben, entertaining Ben’s enthusiastic rant about an upcoming release of a new Marvel movie. Markus liked the classics, wasn’t a huge movie fan in the first place, but he couldn’t help but watch how Ben lit up as he discussed what he hoped the film included from the comics. His eyes sparkled behind his glasses, the shifting green/blue of his eyes dancing under the muted lights as he made sure to engage Markus and Kincaid equally, pulling indulgent smiles from Kincaid even as he held the conversation one-sided. It was, in a word, adorable.

Markus followed Kincaid’s hand as he placed it on Ben’s back, guiding the distracted man through the crowd. They moved so well together, a decade of friendship and partnership that baffled Markus with its easy beauty. He shook his head, trying to keep abreast of them despite his hidden limp as they made their way toward the concessions. They’d purchased their tickets online, but a lively discussion about appropriate movie candy and fare had taken up the walk on the way over.

Markus liked twizzlers. Kincaid and Ben both liked popcorn. But that’s where the agreement ended.

Kincaid liked buttered popcorn, whereas Ben thought that was an abomination of fake chemicals that didn’t deserve the salt that was blessed upon it. He, instead, liked plain, salted popcorn mixed with M&M’s of all things. It was a bitter, contested, and well-loved argument that, apparently, Markus was going to be the deciding vote on.

He was going to have to disappoint them both.

He didn’t like popcorn at all. It got stuck in his teeth. Ruining that for them before they got to the theater, however, wasn’t even an option. Having both Ben and Kincaid eagerly explaining the merits of their preferred snack to him, including him, laughing and egging each other on. It let Markus feel like he was part of them, even if it was just a little part, and he couldn’t help but crave it.

The first hint of unease started bubbling in Markus’s gut as they stood in the back of the line. His eyes darted around, taking in the people, the families and little kids screaming and running around to the arcade. The bright posters heralding blockbusters that he hadn’t been around to see advertised. The screens overhead flashing with even more advertisements and commercials. It was a little. . . overwhelming.

Markus stiffened when a hand brushed against his back, snapping his head around from where he’d been scrutinizing a couple of girls getting drinks from the in theater bar, meeting Ben’s concerned, questioning gaze with an automatic smile. “Sorry, I think I missed that?”

Ben smiled back, but the worry didn’t completely go away. “I asked if you were alright?”

Markus made his smile even brighter and consciously unclenched his hands from around his biceps, uncertain of when he’d even crossed his arms. “Of course, yeah,” he laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it felt, “just wondering if my alcohol tolerance has gone down. I used to be able to drink Clint under the table, ya know?”

Ben and Kincaid both chuckled at that, shaking their heads. Kincaid slung an arm around Ben’s shoulders, gesturing for them both to move up in line. “I’m sure that he tells a different story.”

“Well yeah,” Markus answered, relieved that they seemed to be accepting his distraction, “he’s got to keep the big, bad werewolf reputation intact.”

“Thaaat’s the reason, sure,” Ben snorted, pointing at the different drink options.

Markus blinked as Ben’s attention wavered, eyes flitting to the people that sidled up in the line next to them, watching how they interacted, their laughter or phone calls washing over him in a wave of sound. He swallowed, throat feeling tight, not recognizing that his arms were crossing back over his chest again. He knew that there was anxiety building, but he couldn’t accept that that’s what was happening. Not over something so simple as a trip to the movie theater.

He shook himself, blinking hard, mind scrambling to make sense of what was going on in his own head, and he forcibly settled his shoulders as he realized it was the first time he’d been around so many people since he’d gotten away from Lucien. It was supposed to help, recognizing the trigger, right?

“Hey, Markus?”

Jumping a little at Kincaid’s voice, Markus forced an automatic, quizzical expression, like he hadn’t been a million miles away, and met the other man’s gaze. “Hmmm?”

Kincaid’s mouth tilted in a knowing smile. “Can you go grab some straws?” he asked, eyebrows lifting meaningfully at the darker section of the atrium where the napkins, straws, and fake, powdered cheese lived.

Markus nodded, smiling back, concealing his gratefulness and moved away from the crowded concession lines.

But the further he got from Ben and Kincaid, the more his fear seemed to build. He stumbled as a little girl with two huge pig tails tripped in front of him, catching himself hard on his bad leg, barely hearing her high pitched apology as his heartbeat roared in his ears—the memory of being thrown, of being held down and stabbed—flashing in front of his eyes. He gasped raggedly, stumbling into the corner, eyes lowered to avoid the gaze of the other people there. Fuck, he thought, gasping tightly in the back of his throat, fuck.

Markus’s heart was a rustling bird in his chest, thumping away at his breastbone in an effort to escape. The roar of air in his ears was deafening, the farther he plummeted downward, the harder the desperate flapping of the trapped bird became, his lungs expanding like fluttering wings, unable to collect enough air to keep him from crashing. Fuck, fuck, I can’t breathe. He grabbed ahold of the counter. Trying to keep from going to his knees in the middle of a goddamn movie theater.

He was in a movie theater, right? His blinked, eyelids fluttering, gaze roving across the room, not quite seeing the garish posters, the advertisements for next year’s blockbusters. The milling crowd and arcade games turned into a bright blur, arching across his vision with a kaleidoscope of color. Like he was high, his pupils unfocused and dilated with the overhead lights.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Markus jerked, sucking in a short gasp as his muscles clamped down, not letting him move. Freezing him in place. He ducked his head, his shoulders drawing up around his ears, protecting the sides of his neck.

A strong hand encircling his bicep made him choke down a whimper, and his gaze jerked to the person touching him, his breath completely stopping in his chest. Blond hair. Tall. Pale.

No. Nononofuck.

He tried to back away, shaking legs threatening to buckle as he tried to put more weight on his aching leg. Markus stumbled again, thudding into the counter, and his hand left its white knuckled grip on the counter to grab at the hot fury in his hip.

“No need to be so jumpy there,” the other man laughed, his hand tightening as he steadied Markus. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost? Did you see that new Annabelle movie or something?”

Markus shook his head, numb to what his expression was, eyes wide as he tried to pull himself from the panic. “N-no,” his mouth wouldn’t cooperate, lungs starving for oxygen even as he prepared himself to beg, “pl-ease.”

Suddenly, Ben was there, shoving the other man’s hand away, pushing the blond back. “Back off.” The words were hollow, pounding drum notes, the echo wrong in Markus’s ears as his brain tried to keep up with the wild thud of his heartbeat.

Ben, Ben don’t— He tried to reach for him, his hand leaving his hip with a flutter as he tried to get it to move past the electric, flashing pain in the joint. The fear Markus felt at the other human facing the Elder was instinctive, terrifying. He wouldn’t have a chance. Ben would die. Ben, please, not Ben.

But then Kincaid was there too, his broad shoulders crowding in front of him, blocking his view, enveloping Markus in his warmth. “Easy, Markus, shhhh,” he ducked his head, honey hazel eyes meeting Markus’s, weaving to keep in Markus’s eye line as he tried to see Ben. “No, sweet guy, c’mon, look at me.” That tell-tale tingle of magic travelled down his spine when Kincaid’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck, his thumb brushing through the short hairs at his nape.

Markus shuddered, gasping, ribs starting to ache with weight of his shaking breaths. There were angry murmurs, and Ben’s raised voice. Ben shouldn’t be confronting Lucien, no. “I-I c-can’t—Ben, can’t—“ he still couldn’t breathe, “Lucien—“

“No, Markus, shhhh,” Kincaid’s other hand cupped his cheek, forcing his gaze to stay on him, “Lucien isn’t here, okay? Ben’s fine. Look at me, breathe with me, c’mon.” He started taking a slow breath through his nose, letting it out through his pursed lips, demonstrating for Markus, trying to calm him down.

He heaved in a heavy breath, not hearing the unsteady, short moan humming through his throat. “Kin—“ he panted, “Kin’, please, I—“

“Alright, no, I know,” Kincaid released the hold he had on his cheek, pulling Markus’s hand from the counter and to his chest. “You’re alright, grab hold, just like we practiced.” Markus felt the dangling charms of his grahm brushing against his fingers, and latched onto it, his fumbling grasp tightening as much as he could. “Breathe in,” Kincaid murmured softly, “One, two, three, four, hold—“

Kincaid took him all the way through the breathing exercise, murmuring softly to him the whole time, keeping their eyes locked together. His thumb didn’t stop its slow caress, brushing back and forth, back and forth, through his hair. “Good job,” he whispered, once Markus’s breath started to actually match his own, “good job, sweet guy, shhhh.” He brought their foreheads together, and Markus swayed into him, releasing the death grip on his hip to clutch at Kincaid’s t-shirt, clinging to him as the panic left him empty and aching. They were breathing the same air, and Markus could smell the popcorn and Coke on the other man’s breath.

Markus’s eyelashes fluttered closed, and he let out another shaking breath. “—Kin’,” he whispered, not sure what he was wanting to say.

“I’m right here, baby, shhhh,” Kincaid wound his free hand around Markus’s back, trapping Markus’s grahm and his hand between them, pulling him as tightly into his embrace as he could. Surrounding him, protecting him. His frantic heartbeat slowed, settling in his chest, letting Markus take a full, deep breath.

When they pulled apart, Markus felt punch drunk. He staggered slightly, still in the circle of Kincaid’s arms, eyelids heavy and half-lidded. Kincaid took some of his weight, palm bracing his lower back, face still so very close to Markus’s.

He jumped when someone else touched him, head sluggishly snapping toward toward the newcomer. It was Ben, and Markus’s breath left him again with both a sense of relief that the other man was okay and with fear, realizing just how close he was to Ben’s partner, the way that they were curled into each other. “Ben . . . “ he breathed, voice faint.

The answering smile he received didn’t hold any of the anger that he’d expected, none of the territorial hostility that should have been there with Markus ensconced in an intimate embrace with the love of Ben’s life. Ben’s hand pressed against his shoulder blades, fingers spread wide and possessive, encouraging Markus to stay right were he was in Kincaid’s arms. “It’s okay, Bambi,” he said softly, warmly, “It’s okay.” Ben had foregone his glasses, and his dusky, blue eyes were were sparkling, lines evident as his lips stretched into a welcoming smile. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

Markus swallowed, still feeling dazed as he turned toward Ben, not capable of leaving the warmth that surrounded Kincaid. “But. . . the movie?” he asked, words slightly slurred with the oncoming fatigue. Nothing sounded better than going ho—going to Ben and Kincaid’s—and falling into an early sleep, but he didn’t want to ruin their night out. He could make it through a movie.

Kincaid shook a head, his nose brushing Markus’s temple. “It doesn’t matter, Markus,” the hand still on the back of Markus’s neck swept up to cradle the back of his head, Kincaid’s thick, calloused fingers woven through his hair, “do you want to go home?”

He let the weight of Kincaid’s hand pull him forward, so that he was pressed into the crook of the bigger man’s neck, hiding his face from the curious gazes he could see in the periphery of his vision. He nodded, curling his shoulders in, making himself smaller.

“Okay, then let’s go home,” Kincaid whispered, pressing a kiss to his hair.

Ben sidled up to his other side, free hand under Markus’s elbow, and between them, they took some of Markus’s weight so that he could follow their lead through the crowd, not letting himself acknowledge the people they passed. If his limp was more prominent now, it didn’t matter.

He was going home.

#Markus/Lucien Series #Panic Attack: TW #Aftermath of Captivity #polyamory #mostly fluff #Markus Protection Squad

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nouru-vi · 3 years

Text

Headcanons for my AFK Arena gang buckle the f up

Disclaimer: I take canon lore/relationships and throw out what I don’t like thank you have a nice day

Starter pack: Estrilda, Mirael and Nemora

Nemora is sent by the Wilders to help out Ranhorn City and these three stick together going forward

Estrilda and Mirael are in idiot lesbians with each other. They constantly try to impress the other and Nemora is in the bg facepalming but she also ships them hard secretly

The gang is sent to hunt down Lucretia who is rampaging indiscriminately through the countryside and they manage to subdue and capture her. As they’re bringing her back to Ranhorn, Nemora keeps drawing info out of her through treating her kindly, and learns her story. Then they’re attacked by a large group of Maulers or sg, and Lucy demands that they unchain her if they want to live (lbr she has to be chained and not tied), adding that she also refuses to die tied up. Nemora chooses to trust her and she helps them make it out alive. Then they’re like “okay this Zaphrael dude sounds like a complete dick and we’ll help you confront him when we find him and also you can stay with us, we won’t bring you to Ranhorn to be imprisoned/executed. No more rampaging tho” and that’s how Lucy becomes the local goth mom

Silvina is sent to assassinate Estrilda, to finish off the job of destroying the Raynes, but when she sees her, memories come back to her from before her death, when she saw the young Estrilda as the girl she never got to be. She is like “fuck this I’m not doing this” and realises it’s time to stand up to Vedan’s exploitation of her and Isabella, if not for her own sake but her sister’s. She confronts Estrilda and pleads her to help remove Isabella from Vedan’s clutches. Her and the team go to do that and Isabella doesn’t really understand at first but when Vedan hurts Silvina she’s like “Back off. I made you what you are, don’t think I can’t unmake you just the same.” Now outclassed, Vedan is forced to let them go, and the sisters join the gang. Lucretia is immediately like “I’m your mom now”

Bonus: months later Vedan shows up to be like “Please forgive me. I never knew what I had until I lost it, I treated you two like crap even though you were the closest thing to family I had! Pls come back to me T_T” and although they don’t do that they agree to let him visit sometimes, so he becomes their weird weekend dad. Lucy watches him like a hawk every single time but he tries his best (I added this HC as an afterthought because the official comics with Vedan and the girls are just too fucking funny to be non-canon)

Wu Kong helps out the team on and off and Lucy hates him because he’s a FILTHY CELESTIAL while he’s just like, lady im am just leetl monky. I’m new to being a Celestial actually and don’t even know this Zaphirel or whatshisface. I’m just here to punch bad guys and have a good time. But he also annoys her for fun because he’s just like that

Lyca joins the team as a somewhat more competent co-leader to Mirael. To Nemora’s relief, because she’s the only other person so far who is not a mess or dumb or both. Silvina develops a mega gay crush on her because she’s the bouncy nerd prep to her emo jock goth. It probably takes a very long time for this to come to the surface because she is a Disgusting Graveborn and Lyca is a Beautiful and Ethereal Wilder, according to Silvina, that is. Her concerns turn out to be baseless, of course, and then they’re cute and gay, The End

Solise joins to swell the ranks of people who are both dumb and a mess. She’s powerful though and a great alchemist, and adorable and everyone else is sapphic so go figure

Flora also shows up often to help the group and Lucy is like HISS GRRR CELESTIAL HRRR GRRR at her too, while she’s just like, lady. It’s gonna be alright. You will find justice one day. Calm down. Here’s a flower bigger than your head. Have a nice day :) ~flies off on her gay little flower broom into the sunset gayly~

Certain groups catch wind of Lucretia travelling with the group and as a result, Cecilia is sent after them. Since Lucy is family by this point, they’re forced to fight and subdue Cecilia. She gets injured and they’re unwilling to leave her to her fate, so they bring her along as she recovers. For a long time, she keeps going on about heretics cavorting with Hypogean filth and whatnot, but what’s this? Lucy is around, and although Cecilia can’t see her, her voice is inexplicably pleasant to hear, and she’s just so nice to those two girls! But surely that is the insidious deception of a treacherous Hypogean, seeking to corrupt every innocent soul, right? Surely she is not a loving mother, nor a valiant woman who will do anything for the sake of justice? Right??? (yeah spoiler they end up in gays and the sisters now have two mothers and a dad. They deserve all the parents)

One day the gang stumbles upon Torne and they collectively adopt them immediately. They’re big and smad and in need of hugs and therapy so the group is happy to provide.

Nara joins from time to time, apparently because she just enjoys carnage, regardless of the target. She’s a gross and unhinged gremlin who’s somehow still hot, and her idea of humour is “bet I can kick a dead baby further than any of you”, but she’s pretty upbeat and more or less tolerated by the others. Things become awkward when the group finds out she used to be a crime boss and would-be slaver in life. She says something like “well, am I not allowed to make a new start?”, but she does have the decency to look embarrassed at least. Someone says “maybe she just wanted friends for once” and Nara throws them the most maybe so look of the century

There are some other heroes that I have yet to figure out how to work into the group dynamics and story, like Grezhul for example, as he’s one of my most used heroes now, or Oden, who has also become one of my faves. I do know Oden absolutely makes dad jokes, for a start.

That’s it so far, notice how all of these are wholesome and mostly gay? Yea that is how I roll. The AFK heroes have suffered enough in canon, only positive vibes around here and also I’m queer as shit bye

#afk arena #afk arena headcanons

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lustresky · 4 years

Text

all i ask [peter parker x f!reader]

summary: You question your true feelings for Peter after missing out on five years of your life.

wc: 2400ish.

themes: angst(ish), fluff, happy endings, best friends to lovers trope, mention of dermatillomania, existential questionings...

a/n: this is the first x reader that i have ever written, so sorry in advance if it’s awkward:’’’) english also isn’t my first language, so please do hit me up if i make any mistakes/some things sound wrong! still, i hope that some of you out there will still like this lil thing. i just want to keep peter in my pocket gawd what a bby:’’’’’’’( p.s. title is a song by adele! just had to name this that cuz it unexpectedly came into my playlist while i was writing this and the song just fit so well that it shocked me haha

requests are open! & pls don’t forget to like and reblog, thank you! c:

THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER ENDGAME, RIGHT BEFORE FFH. IT EXCLUDES THE LOVE STORY BETWEEN LIZ & PETER IN HOMECOMING.

available on ao3.

The rom-com flickered on the screen in front of your and Peter’s eyes, the only light illuminating the small living room.

Your legs were sprawled on top of Peter’s own, your arms becoming a bit numb from the fact that you haven’t moved them from their cramp inducing position for the past fifteen minutes. It wasn’t your fault— the small sofa could only leave you and Peter enough space to lounge about.

He had invited you over for some much needed “hang out” time. Considering the fact that both of you had missed out on five years of your life, you had suggested you both catch up on all of the movies the two of you had missed; but one thing led to another and now you were both watching late 90’s and early 2000’s films.

You were surprised, and maybe even mildly offended, when Peter had said that he had never watched Mean Girls nor Clueless. The boy who spew out pop comic references every other second had never watched the classics for every teenage girl? The blasphemy!

You fiddled with the fluffy throw covering your legs and partially, Peter’s. Your attention wasn’t really on the movie anymore, you’d seen it multiple times. Could probably recite it by heart, you thought, if you concentrated hard enough.

Speaking of concentration, your eyes inadvertently found their spot upon Peter’s face. It was quite funny, and maybe even adorable if you wanted to go that way, how concentrated the geeky boy was over such a cliché film. You had never once thought, with all of the years that you had known him, that he would listen and take Cher Horowitz’s words to heart.

Peter didn’t notice your gaze, and so you took that as an unspoken permission to roam your eyes over his features: the small lines already appearing beside his eyes, a tell-tale sign of how much he smiled— or at least, tried to, these days. There were those chiseled cheeks and the sharp jawline that he somehow managed to maintain despite eating delivery food every other day. (You can’t blame May, she tries her best, really; but sometimes Thai or Chinese is just way more palatable.) His nose, a bit crooked, from an ”accident.“ (You still don’t really know the exact details about that one, and frankly, you think it would hurt just hearing about it.) Soft curls of his brown hair fell over his forehead, messy and barely brushed.

Truly, you could probably spend a whole hour just staring at him. It’s weird, you know, who the hell stares at their own best friend for long periods of time? Well, MJ probably does, but then again she draws people most of the time so that’s socially allowed... and well— she’s MJ. She just… does that. You suppose.

Maybe she does have a point, you mused. People-watching seemed fun, seeing the way that people processed information was interesting, but you couldn’t really imagine doing that to anyone— anyone else but Peter, at least.

You loved Peter. It wasn’t even a question. Truly, you did— he was family. However, after the Snap, you started to question how you truly felt about him.

Did you ‘love’ him? You had asked yourself that question multiple times already. Then again, he was cute, goal-oriented, stubborn, loyal, smart, geeky, strong... (not just physically, between his difficult childhood and what you both had just gone through, you think that he may just be the strongest person that you know, mentally.) He knew how to make you laugh, how to make you feel safe… God, he was your exact type.

However, you had always put your feelings aside ever since you came back from the dead. What if it was just your mind craving for affection, afraid that you would never be able to experience the love that you had always wanted? Were you just terrified of the thought of not living your life to the fullest, that you started to ’love’ the first person to have ever given you warmth, just because the choice to do so was taken away from you?

Did you actually love him in that way? Would you still have loved him in that way, even if that purple fucking raisin didn’t come out of the fucking sky and take you both away from reality without even asking? Were you just blindsided? Were you wearing rose-coloured glasses?

What type of love for him did you feel, exactly?

It didn’t really help that Peter was way more clingy and touchy now. Sure, you were best friends even before then, but you never really touched each other so often before. His actions only further spiraled your pondering.

His hands seemed to linger more on your shoulders, nowadays. Now, he would, absentmindedly, lay his hands on your thighs while you were talking. Now, his hugs were tighter, warmer, and always included both of his arms— unlike those casual, one armed hugs that you would give each other while saying goodbye after school, right before you both ceased existing.

While talking, his eyes seemed to stare straight into yours, which always made you falter with your words before you shook his gaze off. Once, you saw him fixating his eyes on your lips while you vented to him about a mathematical formula that gave you a hard time.

He never really did that before— whenever you didn’t understand something, he would always just give you a small grin before shaking his head and finding a way to better explain the topic to you. At first, you thought that maybe he just had a lot on his mind, that he was just staring into space…

Or maybe, just maybe, he loved you. In that way.

Though, now that you thought more about it, maybe he just craved affection like you did. He went through a lot. His life was never devoid of danger, and it wasn’t questionable to want comfort after all of the things that he had gone through. Did he truly feel that way about you, or did he only see you as a comfort tool? You wouldn’t be angry if he did, out of all the people that you knew that deserved more reassurance and love, he was definitely on top of the list.

You didn’t mind. You understood.

Was he in the same boat as you?

You startled yourself away from your thoughts when Peter suddenly retracted his body further back into the couch, as if he wanted to bury himself in it. His brows were furrowed, nose scrunched, lips curled up in disgust; though to your relief his eyes were still glued to the screen and he hadn’t just seen you checking him out. You chuckled at the unexpected reaction, “What’s gotten you so worked up?”

Peter shook his head from side to side, as if that would help him from his current situation. “I get that they aren’t really related, but it’s just— weird.” He replied.

Intrigued, you shifted your eyes over to the screen, and was welcomed by Cher and Josh kissing. You laughed at Peter’s disgust.

“How is it weird? They’ve had— like, very evident tension for half of the movie, Pete.” You replied, eyes watching the way Josh held Cher’s face in his hands. As much as you would never admit it, your stomach fluttered at the scene. “Don’t tell me you didn’t expect it to happen.”

Peter groaned. “It’s not that I didn’t expect it to happen, it’s just— Josh is what, almost twenty or something? And Cher is our age!” He rattled off. “I’m having flashbacks to when I learned that Luke and Leia were actually related.”

You shook your head and let out a snort. Typical Peter, always finding a way to reference Star Wars.

“It’s just a lil’ kiss scene Pete, don’t get so worked up about it.” You chuckled. You let out a dreamy sigh, your lip unknowingly curling into a small smile. Truth be told, you've always wanted something so passionate yet so soft like that to happen to you.

You couldn’t help but let the next words tumble out of your mouth. “Isn’t it romantic though? The fact that the person that Cher has been searching and looking for so hard was actually just right there.”

“Always there…” Your voice slowly found itself becoming quieter, until it was only a ghost of a whisper. “Right by your side.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot. What the fuck was all that sudden sentimental bullshit, Y/N? You thought to yourself.

You hoped that Peter just didn’t pick up on what you had just said. The movie was loud enough to cover it, right?

With a reassuring breath, mostly to yourself, you turned your gaze back to Peter’s face.

Only to find him staring back at you.

Fuck, what were you thinking? With his enhanced senses, of course he would’ve heard what you had said.

Your breath got caught in your throat as your brain almost short circuited from the unexpected eye contact. His stare was unrelenting; from the dim light of the television, you can see his dilated irises, swimming with what you can only assume was longing… and hope.

The air suddenly seemed thick with tension. What kind it was? You weren’t really sure, but the movie and its noises were now just background noise and lighting. From the corner of your eyes, you see Peter’s Adam apple bob up and down as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Y/N…” He started, slowly, seemingly unsure of how to word his sentence. You mustered up a small bit of courage and sent him a small smile, patiently waiting for his brain to catch up with his mouth. It was one of his quirks that you adored so much, how much he struggled with the right words to say, because he knew the gravity of them; even if he did end up just spewing them out in the end.

“I— I don’t really know how to say this exactly, but,” Peter chewed on his bottom lip. “God I just— I just need to man up and say it because it’s been on my mind ever since I came back and I don’t think I can put it off any longer because I’m scared that you’ll disappear again and that I’ll never have the chance to say the truth and I—“ He stopped in his tracks, seemingly running out of words to say. His head dropped to look at his lap, as he started fidgeting with his hands and picking at his cuticles. A nervous tick that you recognized.

You straightened up from your lounging position, and slowly reached out your arms to lay your own hands on top of his, effectively gaining his attention and stopping his quite destructive habit. Bit by bit, he faced you once more; albeit now his eyes seemed to be more glassy.

“Y/N,” He took a shaky breath. “You— you mean so much to me.“ His eyes stared straight through you, and by now you felt your eyes start getting teary too.

“When it was happening I— all I could think about was how I felt about you. I— I felt so fucking selfish. I didn’t even think about Aunt May— or Ned, or MJ. All I thought about was how much I regretted not telling you how I actually felt about you sooner— that I’ll never be able to tell you how much I actually fucking loved you—“

Instinctively, you cut him off with your index placed on his lips. Now it was your turn to let out a shaky breath as your hand descended and found itself laying once more on Peter’s own.

Peter loved you. Even before the snap. Even before you disappeared.

The sight of Peter in front of you: vulnerable, hair ruffled, cheeks and nose and the tips of his ears red, his eyes watering as he poured his heart out to you was the moment that answered all of your doubts from before.

That was when you realized that you loved him, too. Truly. Without a doubt.

You loved him before everything went to hell, you still love him now, and fuck, you would still love him even if you hadn’t died. You weren’t wearing rose-coloured glasses, hell, far from it. You were seeing everything clearly. You were seeing everything just the way that they are.

You opened your lips, and a strangled but genuine giggle came out. “Pete, I love you too. I’ve loved you since— fuck, I can’t even remember when I actually started fucking loving you. You’ve been such a constant in my life that I questioned myself whether I truly loved you romantically, because I’m also a fucking idiot that thought that the type of love that I had for you was only platonic. Turns out they’re both one and the same.” You were laughing now, with a few hiccups here and there from the hot tears streaming down your cheeks.

“And shut up— you aren’t selfish,” With a new wave of courage, you lifted up one of your hands again and cradled his face. He leaned into it, impulsively, sniffling. “You’re one of the most selfless people that I know, hell, you put yourself in danger for people that you don’t even fucking know. I… I honestly think you could use more selfishness sometimes.” You laughed, softly, trying to regain a bit more composure with the tidal wave of emotions washing through you.

Peter, thankfully, found your quip funny. He snorted, shaking his head, as he lifted the sleeve of his Midtown Tech hoodie up to wipe at his tears. He wiped yours too, and you thanked him with a genuine smile.

All hearts now bared, you both just stared at each other, not really knowing what else to say nor do. From what you could tell, the movie was over now, the ending scene just slowly rolling in as it always does.

You opened your mouth, about to break the silence, when Peter beat you to it.

“Can I kiss you?”

A chuckle escaped your mouth before you could reply properly, and a huge grin overtook your face as your cheeks heated up once more. You squeezed his hands, and nodded.

Peter leaned in, and you had never felt more at peace.

#lily’s lil’ stories #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #fanfic #ff #x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #spiderman #spiderman x reader #one shot #angst #best friends to lovers #fluff #subtle (not really) movie references #existential musings #pete n reader's been thru a lot ok:(

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