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desert-fern · 7 months

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 21: I Won’t Let You Go

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*Pic is not mine, found on Pinterest.*

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: brief mention of blood, physical violence (someone gets punched), threats of violence, panic attack, BIG reveal, some sweet moments, Jake (the man’s a warning okay?), the author’s a dick again 🫣

Word Count: 7.2k

Masterlist >> Part 20 >> Part 22

===

Bear stilled. Her task of making sure that Bob was okay was put on pause to face the man before her. “Lieutenant Commander Richards,” she spoke in a voice edged in steel as she stared Hazard down. “Care to explain why he’s loose like this?” She had turned to the men escorting him in a heartbeat, staring them down.

All it took for the men escorting Hazard to respond was the hard edge of a CO’s voice, and they scrambled to ensure Hazard was tightly cuffed, that their uniforms were on straight, and making sure they saluted.

Safe to say, these midshipmen had no idea how important their jobs were.

Especially since they were under orders from Admiral Will Harris, passed down by Lieutenant Commander Priya ‘Bug’ Gill, both of which were names that echoed through ranks as being people not to mess with, and to make matters worse, Hazard was supposed to be kept away from Bear. That was the order.

These men had just failed. Because here was Bear, standing face to face with the man who had been responsible for so much.

“Ma’am… we uh, we didn’t think that uh. That people would be around at this time,” one of the midshipmen tried to explain.

“Is that right?” Bear was beyond furious at the lack of care that was being demonstrated by the men before her. “Because I don’t think that you’re aware of exactly why he can’t be anywhere near me.”

“Uh… why’s that? Ma’am.”

Turning the flat look to Hazard, Bear gave him a once over. “Because the last time I was in a room with him, I had a loaded gun held to his head, daring him to give me a reason why I shouldn’t drop him like the dead weight he is.”

“Oh.” The sheer obliviousness in his voice made Bear’s jaw twitch, drawing twin death glares from the men behind her.

“Not to mention,” she ground out. “The stitches on his face that have yet to come out? Those are from the last time he faced down Lieutenant Seresin. So you not only disobeyed direct orders by moving him in daylight, but also by failing to ensure that two of the people he is never to have contact with were not in the path you were taking.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

Jake’s hand had come up to press against her lower back, offering his silent support. He knew she could feel it shaking in anger, but he didn’t care. This was the man, no, the cowardly fuck that had nearly ripped them apart before they had even begun to build something real. “That’s not good enough.” Jake’s voice, like his hands, shook in fury, but Hazard saw it differently.

“Is the big bad pilot scared?” He taunted, the depraved smirk on his face growing larger by the second. Bear hadn’t said a word to him, choosing to stand in front of him looking thoroughly unimpressed. “I guess I’m just surprised that you need someone to fight your battles for you, Bear. But then again, you always did hide up on your perch while the rest of us did the grunt work.”

Bear didn’t say a word, her face impassive. She couldn’t let her anger win. She couldn’t let Hazard think that he had the upper hand. If he ran his mouth long enough, maybe, just maybe, he’d say something to incriminate himself and the others. So she adjusted her gaze, staring him dead in the eyes, daring him to keep going.

And he did. “It’s really just pathetic. This big bad Commander hiding behind a walking Ken doll. I guess you aren’t nearly as tough as you seem, especially if it took getting captured for you to realize that something was wrong. And now, Bear? Good luck ever getting promoted again. You all should be thanking me,” he announced, meeting the furious stares of the men around him, “I just showed you why women aren’t good enough to be in the military. They’re just distractions. Besides, you got captured. It’s not my fault you spent the whole prep time drooling over a man with less intelligence than the plane he flies.

“I fooled you all!” He crowed, sadistic joy growing in his wild eyes. “I fooled the ‘untrickable’ Bear! I am a legend. You believed that I wouldn’t do anything to harm you! That I wasn’t in complete control of this mission, and yet you failed! You had no idea what I did, not until you didn’t die like you were supposed to!” His face had split into a manic grin, everything about him was wild, unhinged like a wolverine in a cage.

It would have been enough to be terrified of had Bear not been worse, more unhinged and broken after her triumphant return to the Air Base. But all Jake could focus on was how still Bear was. She barely moved, even as Hazard continued to rant and rave, bragging about how he was the best by a mile, the most intelligent, the bravest, the most daring.

Jake could barely make out the words being spoken now, he was numb. The same overwhelming feeling he had when he had confronted Hazard in the manner that had led to the stitches that still sat in his cheeks and head. His heartbeat echoed in his ears, and his hands shook, every fiber of his being wanted to jump forwards, to prove that Hazard was none of what he had proclaimed himself to be. But he couldn’t. This was Bear’s fight now.

“And to your precious Flyboy,” Hazard spat venomously. “You were supposed to die.”

What? Bear’s eyes widened a fraction at the statement. Hazard had a problem with her, not Jake. Her mind was calm, but her heart hadn’t received the memo and it had sunk into her stomach at his words.

“Oh yeah. I really thought Shrike would have said something. After all, she did find the missing bolt in my pocket after she grabbed me. But I guess she didn’t tell you. Useless bitch.” Hazard was completely gone. Where he stood was not a man Bear knew, that creature was not the man that had fought alongside her for years. This was a monster. “And what makes it all so much better? The fact that I had help from someone you trusted. I’ll give you a hint: rhymes with ‘Glare’.”

Bear’s heart stopped still, but her mind spun with question upon question, each finding themself no answer in the torrent of emotion. Flare? Her Lieutenant? The woman running her intelligence team? The young woman who showed so much promise and had reminded Bear so much of herself? She had helped this… fuck up? That wasn’t right, it had to be a lie. Flare would never have done this, not to Bear, not to her team. At least not willingly.

A lump hardened in her throat and Bear stood stock still, her eyes betraying her hurt and shock, as she stared Hazard down. “What.” Her tone was short and clipped, the fury barely contained. It was like she was transported back to Riyadh, standing in that meeting room with a gun to Hazard’s head, only this time, he had the upper hand.

The look on Hazard’s face twisted and morphed into one of pure glee. “Oh yeah. She’s been in on this since the start. Since before pretty boy over there. I only had to suggest that she’d be blamed for everything. It was so easy even one of your stupid flying monkeys could have done it! That and well, since I had to improvise, Jake, her capture is your fault. You didn’t die, so she had to.”

Jake froze, heart thrumming like that of a rabbit being hunted. He would have died if it had meant Bear was safe, but she had done the same for him only hours later. What had Hazard done? “What?” The word slipped from his lips faster than he could catch them and Hazard’s face only grew more maniacal.

“Oh yeah. I pulled a bolt from your plane while you were distracted with little miss tits for brains over there. You were supposed to crash and burn up the minute you hit a certain altitude, but I guess Gallows fucked up on that part.” The Seal was ranting and raving like a lunatic, completely unaware that he had just given up another co-conspirator. “You didn’t die easily. So one little phone call, a truck mounted missile and BOOM! NO MORE FLYBOY! You still feel like a man?! You got her captured because YOU. WOULDN’T. DIE. EASILY.

“ALL IT TOOK WAS ONE PHONE CALL! I HAD JUST ABOUT SOLVED ALL OF MY PROBLEMS BUT NEITHER OF YOU DIED!! BUT I STILL WIN! I WILL ALWAYS WIN BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO PATHE-”

Bob had had enough. This man, standing before them, wouldn’t stop. Bear was stunned, Hazard couldn’t see it, but Bob did. He knew that under the dangerous calm she gave off that she was hurt, her sense of trust twisted and warped into something that she didn’t recognize. Jake was beyond furious and Bob? Bob had never been this angry in his life, and Hazard just wouldn’t stop. Before he could stop himself, he had stepped forwards, arm raised and let his fist fly.

Hazard hit the ground from the force of the punch, abruptly finding himself cut off from the mania that had fueled him seconds earlier. He stared up in shock at Bob, who had taken on the anger Jake had been feeling. He had run his mouth for too long, and it was about damn time someone shut it for him.

Bear sprung into action, backing Bob off towards Jake, who stood close by, his green eyes staring daggers into Hazard’s fallen form. “You!” She barked, pointing at the midshipmen who stood stock still in shock. “Get him out of my sight. If I ever see him again, neither he nor you will live to see the light of day again. Am I clear?”

“Yes Ma’am. Crystal clear, Ma’am.” The taller of the two men nodded frantically, and hauled Hazard to his feet and practically dragged him down the hallway towards the infirmary, blood dotting the floor from Hazard’s once again broken nose.

“Lieutenant Floyd.” Bear had rounded on Bob and the look on her face erased any remaining bit of anger flowing in his blood. “What the hell?”

“Commander, I-” He began but shut his mouth quickly.

Bear hated that she had to ream him out. Bob had done what both her and Jake couldn’t, but that didn’t make it right. “No. I appreciate the thought that went into that but you went about the wrong way. I will be speaking with Captain Mitchell about this.”

“I understand,” he replied dejectedly, staring at his boots.

Bear glanced around, before dropping her voice. “Bob. Look at me.” When he did, she continued. “I do have to inform Mav of what happened, but I will be giving him the full story, including that you were standing up for a superior. I don’t expect you’ll be blamed as I have the whole thing recorded.”

Jake made a strangled noise. “What?”

Bear just grinned at him, doing her best impression of the maniac look on Hazard’s face the second he had seen her. “Phone, back pocket. That man never knew when to shut up so I figured I’d catch him in the act. Now, you both need to cool down. Go do that. If I catch wind of either one of you informing the others of what just happened here, I will have both your asses.”

“What about you?” Jake asked, looking at her worriedly.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay…” he trailed off, not looking convinced. “I’ll find you later?”

“We’ll see.” Her words were short and clipped, desperately trying to stem the tears that wanted to slip from her eyes. “Have a good day boys.”

And with that, she left. Striding down the hall to find Flare, willing herself not to cry until she was somewhere safe after all of this.

===

The door to the meeting room flung open and the women inside jumped. Bug took one look at Bear’s face and knew immediately that something was wrong. “What happened?”

“Lieutenant Trace, you are excused.” Her voice was hollow. First Chip, and now Flare? This had been too much for her to handle on top of the trauma she was trying to fight off with a stick and she was oh so close to just snapping.

“Bear?” Flare’s voice was timid, so very unlike her usual demeanour that it only served to confirm what Bear knew. “What’s going on?”

Bear ignored the younger woman in favour of watching Phoenix leave the room before bolting the door behind her. “So Bug. I just found out some information.”

Bug’s gaze flicked back and forth between her CO and Flare. “What about?” She was cautious in her tone, treading carefully in order to ensure Bear didn’t blow up.

“Flare… anything you want to tell Bug?” Bear’s voice was sharp, abrasive; it was loud and calm and somehow that scared Flare far more than anything else. “That wasn’t a suggestion, Lieutenant Komori.”

“I…IwasmanipulatedintohelpingHazardaftermyinformationwasusedtokillsc-outsthatwewereusingintheregionandsabotagethedroneandpersonnelcounts. He said that he would kill me like he has you!” Flare confessed in a rush before burying her head in her hands and beginning to sob.

Bug looked bewildered. “What?”

“She said that Hazard manipulated her too, just like Chip. Told her that since he had used her information to kill our scouts, sabotage the drone imaging for the mission prep, and fuck up our enemy personnel counts, that her indirect involvement meant that he could take her down too. Like he did me, apparently.” Bear’s arms were folded, hands hidden so that she wouldn’t reach out to Flare and try to soothe her. Meanwhile, her heart was breaking as Flare sobbed into her uniform and she stood and watched, helpless to do anything as anger raced through her veins like jet fuel. She needed answers before she could offer comfort to the crying woman before her.

She was angry, both at herself for not seeing any of this, and at Flare for not coming forward. She had trained her team to be honest. To treat the team like family and this happened?! How could it not be her fault?

Bug’s soft tone broke through the storm raging in Bear’s head. “Mei, what happened exactly?”

Flare hiccuped, keeping her face buried in her arms. Of all the things she felt at this moment, guilt was the most prominent. She had let Bear down, her mentor and maternal figure. She had been threatened into submission by a man who failed in his every attempt to remove both Bear and Hangman and now she had to face the consequences that came with the decision that she had thought was the right one.

Bug’s hand on her shoulder had Mei lifting her head, her face contorted in a half-sob that escaped her when she caught the look of disappointment and betrayal on Bear’s face. “I-I… That project,” she began, her voice thick with unshed tears. “The intelligence gathering that I had to do from the beginning? Hazard had finished with his task, Bug had deemed it satisfactory so he went to ‘help’ me. He took my lists of friendlies in the area, claimed that he would make contact and get the information that I hadn’t yet put together. He said he was trying to be helpful.” She dissolved into another wave of tears as Bear looked on, her trust in the young woman before her shattered to bits.

Bear still felt numb. Ever since Hazard had told her about Flare, she had been numb to anything else, resorting to using her Commander personna to prevent people from asking if she was okay. It had only slightly worked, but now Bear wished that she didn’t have to feel this pain. Wished and hoped and prayed that Flare had just agreed that Hazard would be a better leader and that Bear was better off dead than have to sit and face the fact that she had had a fox in the henhouse. She knew it was cowardly, but she couldn’t help it. Anyone would do the same in her position.

“… the next thing I knew, he-he had me pressed against the wall and told me that if I ever breathed a word of what he did to you or Bear, that he would kill me slowly. Priya, he promised to do the same to my family, to you, to anyone on the team that I cared about! I just kept my mouth shut and hoped that no one would notice and that maybe I could go and tell one of you but he was always right fucking there!

“Then the drone went down. I did what you asked, Bear. I ordered it up again and the footage we got was the last from the team. They were found murdered days later in their HQ. I went to talk to you, but he saw me on my way, he hit me.” The words were flowing from her lips faster than Flare could speak, but this had all been bottled up for too long and now her conscience was making a play to clear itself, to dump all she knew at the feet of the women who could try and fix it. “So I didn’t find you after that. How could I?. And it was all fine until we deployed and you needed those figures. I gave you the right ones and when Ha- he found out, he hit me again. Somewhere no one would notice. He threatened me again, told me that he was running out of patience, that next time he would kill me.”

The room went silent. Bug had sat down in shock at the description of what Hazard had done to Mei in order to get her to keep her mouth shut. Bear had to turn away, her stomach churning. She had been so caught up in the sting of betrayal that she had forgotten that Flare, that Mei, had been a victim in this too.

“And? What happened next?” Bear’s hoarse voice broke through the silence as she came to sit down at the table. She would listen. Flare deserved to be heard, especially after what had been done to her. As Commander, Bear had to listen and she knew that the alternative for her would be storming to the brig and murdering Hazard herself. “It’s okay, Flare. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”

Flare drew a shaky breath. She had stopped crying some time ago but her hands and voice shook as she had spoken, glossing over what Hazard had threatened to do because she just couldn’t put it into words. “We hit the ground running in Riyadh, there wasn’t time to tell you. Bear, I swear on my life I would have said something if it was safe to do so. I was just so scared and he had threatened my life too many times not to kill me if I tried to come find you. So I just did my best to try and minimize his effects, but I didn’t know that he would try to kill you or… or Jake. The grenade thrown at you in the compound… Colton told me that it was supposed to kill you. If you hadn’t thrown it,” Mei paused, trying to steady her breathing. “We would have died from an American grenade. Not an Arabian one.

“I just… I’m so sorry Bear,” Flare said as another wave of tears crashed over her. “I’m so sorry. I understand if you can’t ever forgive me, I betrayed your trust. I hurt the team…”

“Mei…” Bear’s tone was gentle as tears pricked the corners of her eyes and her throat tightened. “Oh Mei. I don’t blame you. I blame Colton and his stupid fucking superiority complex. You…” she trailed off, trying to think of her next words. Her heart broke for what Flare had been put through, even if she herself had been the primary target, it didn’t change the fact that Mei had been a victim herself. Her mind however, raced through the millions of questions that had come up as Flare rambled out her story even as she knew that this was no time for them.

She swallowed thickly, stuffing her tears back and forcing herself to remain in her usual calm, collected state. Her team, despite taking orders from Bug, still looked to her for how to act during this time. Her calmness would trickle down through the ranks, spreading to even the most junior of her team, but that didn’t mean it didn’t ache to see how much this had shook everyone to their very cores. Bear wanted to scream, rant, rave, and just destroy it all if only to exact a fraction of the pain Colton had caused her team back on him.

But that wasn’t her job and it wasn’t her place.

She had to grin and bear it. Suck it up and move on like parts of her hadn’t been carved away.

“You shouldn’t have had to do this alone,” Bug replied, wrapping Flare in a tight hug and holding her close. And Bear had to turn away for fear of her mask cracking. She so desperately wanted to be angry, but Flare wasn’t the target of her anger. Hell, Colton, Hazard, wasn’t either. Bear was angry at everything that had ever convinced Hazard that he deserved something that wasn’t his. She was furious at the powers that had bound her hands the second she had freed them from her captors. In a way, the last time she was free was those two days driving across the desert, just her and Amir. No expectations, no rules, no bosses or legislation, and it had been a relief to just abandon the weight that she had always carried. So no, no she couldn’t just sit here and watch Bug hold Flare.

She needed to leave the room. “W- we’ll finish this discussion later,” Bear said, her voice cracking on the first syllable. “I just… I ne-I need to figure this all out.” Bear left the room, trying to ignore the ache that had settled in her chest at Flare’s cries and her own repressed ones.

===

Jake found her a few hours later, curled up on her bunk, phone in hand as she spoke to someone over the phone. He stood in the doorway, watching her, worry growing in his mind. Bear had disappeared almost immediately after Hazard had said what he had, and no one had seen her. Not Mav, not Shrike, no one. “He got the letter?” Her voice was quiet, but it still cut through the cloudiness of his senses, letting him breathe.

Colonel Richmond, the Riyadh Base Commander, replied “He did. I made sure of it myself.” He had been waiting for Bear to call him, and had actually called her first to ensure that she was aware that Amir was going home.

“And he’s safe?”

“He is. Amir went home to his family earlier today. Both parents came, and we made sure the money you left was given to them. It’s all taken care of, Commander.”

Bear bit her lip, nodding slowly. “Good. Thank you, Colonel.”

“It was my pleasure. Goodbye.”

“Bye.” Bear’s phone slipped from her hands and fell onto the bed. Tears raced down her cheeks, this time, ones of relief. Amir was okay. He and his family were reunited, and everything was going to be okay. Then she remembered Hazard’s words. “You got her captured because YOU. WOULDN’T. DIE. EASILY.” They pounded against her heart with every beat. He was just trying to strike a nerve, she reasoned.

The little voice in her head chimed in. “He got to you.” That was enough for her cries to turn into sobs, the words cutting deeper than anything. No one could know, she thought bitterly.

But to Jake, this hurt more. Yes, the barbs about his crash getting Bear captured stung, but seeing Bear break down like this hurt him far more deeply than a few nasty words. “Teddy…” he breathed, stepping closer to her bed, momentarily forgetting that she didn’t know he was there.

“What.” Her words were snarled out, a guttural sound that made his blood chill. Bear couldn’t handle being the strong one right now; she needed to cry, needed to break down and slowly put herself back together. She had to grieve the parts of her that Saif and the others took from her. The pieces that hid the nastiness and ugliness that her job inflicted upon her. The parts that Hazard had warped beyond all recognition. So she wiped at her face, blew out a breath and turned to give whoever had interrupted her a piece of her mind.

At least that was what she was going to do.

Until she saw that it was Jake, and she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Fat, ugly sobs wracked her body as she slid from her bed to crumple on the floor like a puppet cut free of the strings that had held it together for far too long. After years of taking on everyone’s pain, mourning others, grieving in silence for everything she’d ever lost, now the dam broke. Bear had spent so long trying to disappear into her pain, never letting it see the light of day, refusing to inconvenience those around her, but every time she pushed it aside, there was always a tiny voice crying out “Find me please! Lead me out of the darkness!” Until now, no one had ever caught her and held her during this vulnerable moment. Until Jake, no one sought her out after something traumatic. Until him. “Please…” she choked out. “Please.”

It was freeing somehow, being held as she sobbed. Jake’s touch helped to ground her, the little nothings being whispered that she couldn’t hear over her tears, the steady thump of his heart beating; it all guided her through the anguish. “I’ve got you.” Those answering words, a quiet acknowledgement of her suffering.

Jake could do nothing but sit beside her, arms cradling a woman who had spent too long in control. It broke his heart to hear her quiet pleading, her begging for someone else to guide her, to let her have a moment to process. So he held on, letting his hand move up and down her back, doing his best to ground her. “I’ve got you,” he murmured through his own tears. “No one is taking us from each other again.”

Slowly, but surely, Bear began to calm down. Her hiccuping sobs left, until she sat there, exhausted and warm from Jake’s arms around her. “There she is,” he whispered, his own voice too hoarse from his own silent tears. “There’s my girl.”

“I’m here.” Her voice barely made a sound, but he heard her. “I’m… I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No.” Jake grabbed her face gently, forcing her reddened eyes to look at him. “You do not get to apologize for something that you needed. You hear me?” He had used her name in those two sentences. No nickname, no pet name. Her name. “You needed to let it out. Carrying that around, that’s not healthy. And I will be here for you when you need to let go of your control. Just like you would do for me. Okay?”

Bear nodded, but that wasn’t enough for Jake. “I need words, pretty girl.” His voice caught briefly, a bit of emotion stuck in his throat as he sat there, watching a flurry of emotion pass through her eyes.

“Okay.” And she meant it. Letting go was so hard for her, a woman trapped in a man’s job, a man’s world where weakness wasn’t allowed. “Okay.” A feather-light kiss brushed her forehead and she felt Jake chuckle when her eyes fluttered shut at the gentle contact. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jake’s heart still hurt for her, but further past that, he felt so much love for her. Hell, he’d practically always loved her, but now, after watching her last wall crumble, he loved her far deeper than he could explain. It was like the last piece in a puzzle slotted together, like the catch of a tail hook when landing. Something so innate and natural that he could scarcely remember his life before Bear had slid into that missing place.

He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, tasting the saltiness of her tears and continued to press kisses all over her face, trying to make her smile. He was successful; a small breathy chuckle left her lips. All she could spare after the tide of emotion that had coursed out of her. “What is that for?” She asked him, having buried her face back into his neck.

“No reason. Other than I love you.” The way he said it was so innocent, so young. It didn’t meld with the strong man whose arms held her tight. He was warm, patient, strong, and comforting. Exactly what she needed him to be at this moment.

Bear sighed, her heart full. No longer did the angst and anguish plague her. Yes, she still felt the sorrow that she always would for the woman she had been before all of this, but she had spent time living with it, not avoiding it. It would hurt for awhile, stuff like this always did, but Bear knew that with Jake beside her, she could handle it. She could and would work through it. But not tonight. Tonight, all she wanted to do was be held by the man she knew would be her forever. She wanted to crawl into a bubble that was just the two of them and live there forever. “I love you too, Jake.”

“Good. Now, I’m going to help you up and get you something to drink. Then, I’m going to come back and if you were planning on sleeping alone tonight, you can forget about that,” Jake told her, as he slowly helped her to her feet. Bear knew that she wobbled a little but he caught her so easily. “You okay for a bit, Teddy?”

“Yeah. I will be. Just… hurry?” Bear felt a little silly wanting him to stay, but the rational part of her brain told her insecurities to fuck off. She deserved good things, after all she would tell Jake the same. So why shouldn’t she believe it?

He nodded, watching Bear slide off into another head space. All it took was the feel of his fingers gliding over her wrist to shake her out of it. “I’ll be so quick you won’t know I’m gone. How’s that sound, darlin’?”

A shy smile met his firm but kind gaze. “That sounds perfect.”

“Good.” Jake went to drop another gentle kiss to her cheek, but Bear turned her head, directing him to kiss her. And he did, but he wasn’t expecting her to deepen it so suddenly. To lick into his mouth and kiss him with such a ferocity that he was almost certain came from the darkest parts of her.

When she pulled back, it was his turn to chase her lips, kissing her back with what felt like a fraction of the passion she was giving him. It was at that moment Jake realized just how deep her love for him went. Beyond the depths of her heart, beyond the vastness of the sky, farther and deeper than he had even thought possible for her. She loved him like he loved her: with every cell, every molecule in his body.

Jake finally pulled back, needing air, but he didn’t go far. “Goddamn darlin’, keep kissin’ me like that an’ you’ll have a whole ‘nother problem.” He couldn’t help the husky drawl that slipped free of his throat, and it gave him great pleasure to see Bear shiver at his tone. “I’m gonna go grab that water, you get changed. Okay?”

Bear nodded, her pupils still blown from the passion of the kisses they shared. She chewed on her lip, suddenly shy under the intensity of his gaze. “Okay. Yeah, umm… you should go do that,” Bear told him, finally finding her voice. “I’ll just…”

Jake chuckled, shooting her a wink before slipping out the door and into the hall. He found himself having to lean against the wall, letting his head fall back to express against the cool metal. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, blowing out a deep breath. “What am I gonna do with you, Teddy?”

===

When he returned with a water bottle in hand some time later, Jake found Bear half asleep on top of her covers, dressed in shorts and a large t-shirt. It made him chuckle to himself as he stepped closer, trying to avoid the flailing arms that tended to happen when he had tried to wake her up before. “Hey darlin’.” His voice was low but the softness in his whisper made her stir just a little.

“Hey.” Bear cracked an eye open and glanced blearily up at Jake. She could just make out his floppy hair and his arm holding out a water bottle. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“All good, Teddy. Drink up, it should make the headache that you’re trying to hide go away.” Jake knelt over her on the bed, wiggling as close as he could while Bear sat up to sip at the water handed to her.

“Thank you.”

“C’mon, you don’t gotta thank me for somethin’ that simple. That’s just basic decency.” Jake waved off her gratitude in favor of clambering under the blankets and patting the spot next to him.

Bear swallowed thickly. “I meant earlier. A lot of guys would have left me alone if they walked in and saw that.” Her voice was small, almost like she was trying to hide.

She watched his jaw clench in anger at her words. Not at her, no, never at her, but at the assholes that had convinced her that she wasn’t worth being around. That she didn’t deserve to be soft. “That’s a load of bull shit and you know that, Teddy. I said that I’d be here for as long as you want me to be, till the bitter end and back again. I am going to keep that promise.” Jake’s tone had softened as he took in her awkward positioning. “Now come on. Let’s actually get to sleep, okay?”

“That sounds good.” Bear slid under the blankets next to him, pressing herself tight to his side and pillowing her head on his chest, pleased at the warmth his body gave off. “Love you,” she murmured into his shirt.

“Love you too.” Jake pulled her impossibly closer to him, rolling a little to envelop her in his arms. It brought him peace to do so, holding his girl tightly in such a way that she couldn’t be taken from him, nor he from her. He felt calm in this moment of closeness and it took nothing for him to drift off into dreamland, pulling Bear along with him.

===

Jake woke to the feeling of fingers trailing along his chest, gently tracing the ridges of his pecs. “Morning,” he grunted, catching the hand that had continued its ministrations. “Gotta say, that’s still one hell of a sight. Waking up next to you.”

Bear flushed at having been caught ogling, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed rather proud of himself at having caught her in the act if the thumb tracing her knuckles was any indication. “Morning Jake,” she whispered, chewing on her bottom lip as she took in the sleepiness of his face that slowly faded the longer she lay and watched him.

“Sleep well?” The gravelly rumble of his voice sent shivers down her spine and had Bear clenching her thighs together once, twice at the sound.

She nodded, a small smile beginning to show itself on her face. “I did. Did you?”

Jake blinked the last of sleep from his eyes, propping himself up on his elbow, watching Bear trace the lines in his face. “Mmmm. Slept great. I gotta be careful now. If I keep fallin’ asleep next to this pretty lil thing, I might not get outta bed in the morning.” He squeezed her hand, watching as Bear’s face erupted in a fierce blush.

“Stop it.” Bear knew her face and ears had turned a bright red and under Jake’s stare, the color only deepened. She turned away, hiding her face in the pillow that had slipped away from them during the night.

“Uh uh. Hold on now. Running away on me, Teddy?” Jake knew the effects his voice had on Bear, it was practically written on her face in capital letters. So sue him if he relished in his ability to fluster her beyond all shadow of a doubt. “Can’t have you doin’ that, now can we?”

She didn’t answer him, choosing to bury her face deeper into the pillow. Everything about the man behind her sent up a cloud of butterflies that went racing through her stomach and lungs whenever he so much as looked at her with mischief sparkling in those green eyes.

“Teddy…” his tone held a playful warning and if Bear had deigned to meet his eyes, she would have seen the teasing hiding within them. It took him nothing to roll her under him, grinning down at her after she let out the minute shriek she had. “I did warn you.”

Bear swatted at his chest, her face still bright red. “Get off me!”

“Hmmm. I don’t think I will.” Jake knew he was being a little shit, but he just couldn’t help himself. Everything about Bear in the morning had him ready to go. The second she gave the okay, she was his in every way he had desired since he had seen her in action. The mere thought had blood rushing from his head so quickly that it made him dizzy. “You gotta do something for me first.”

She rolled her eyes, swatting him again. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Deadly.”

“Fine.” Bear reached up and pulled Jake on top of her, kissing him deeply. “Better?”

Jake blinked. “Ummm… can I get back to you in three to seven business days?”

“You tease.”

“You love me.”

She grinned. “I do. And I have to get to work.”

“Noooo,” he whined, putting his whole weight on top of her. He was trying desperately to keep her close to him, knowing that she would bury herself in her work and leave him all alone all day. “You can’t go.”

“Jake, honey.” Bear would have laughed if she didn’t have the full weight of her man on top of her. “Please. I have things to do.”

“I’m a thing, do me,” Jake quipped back, grinning down at her. “Come on, just a little longer.”

Bear began to wiggle under him, trying to free herself. “If I stay here any longer, I won’t get up,” she tried to reason. “Please Jake. I’ll come by around lunch time like I did yesterday.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, rolling over and letting her get up, but not before grabbing her hips and pulling her back onto the bed with a screech. Jake had stuck his fingers in her sides under the shirt she wore and begun tickling her.

“Wh-whyyyyyyyy!” Bear tried to say over her giggles. “Jake - wwwwhyyyyyy - stoppppp!” She was batting at his hands, trying and failing to stop him, until a flailing elbow nearly took him out, and finally he relented.

“There we go. My mama always said that starting the day off laughing would always make it better,” Jake reasoned as he took in Bear who lay sprawled across his lap.

“Did she now?” Bear looked up at him, humming to herself as she watched humor dance on Jake’s face above her. The soft look in his eyes damn near stole her breath and she found herself wondering for a moment how she of all people managed to snare him. Jake was far better than she deserved, but hours earlier, she had told herself that she deserved happiness. Jake was that happiness and if he wanted her, which he did, Bear knew that everything would work itself out.

He hummed, watching himself in her eyes. The crinkles in the corners as she gave him a soft smile that he knew matched his own only had him falling impossibly deeper. Here Bear was vulnerable, open, trusting, and he was the only one who got to see this. “She did. She’d love you.”

The woman in question smiled up at him, leaning up to press her lips to his quickly before slipping from his grasp. “It sounds like I’d love her too.” Bear’s smile couldn’t help but grow as she watched Jake perch on her bunk, blankets pooling around his hips, his green eyes fixated on her every movement. “After all. She did raise you.”

Jake scoffed, rolling his eyes at her words. “I was a hellion.” His words were fond, just like the smile that had seemed to permanently adorn his face.

Bear merely grinned, stripping off her pajamas and dressing in her uniform. She could feel Jake’s gaze raking over the scars on her back before they finally dipped to the curve of her ass and thighs. He wasn’t even being subtle, the concept seeming to elude him the longer he watched Bear move about the tiny room. “Of that,” Bear paused to grab her hair elastic before she continued, “I am 100 percent certain.”

“Tease.”

“Menace.”

Jake stood up, coming to stand in behind her before ducking his head down to rest on her shoulder. He trailed feather-light kisses up the curve of her neck, reveling in the subtle shiver that raced through her body. He didn’t want her to leave and he said as much against her, punctuating his words with a playful nip.

Bear’s face was bright red and she was suddenly very thankful that Jake wasn’t looking her in the eyes. She knew that her desire for him danced in them and that wasn’t something that could be solved right now. Right now, she had a meeting to attend with the ship’s officers. “Jake…”

“Mmm…” he hummed against her skin, mesmerized by the softness and her scent. It took her turning around, hands coming up to hold his face to hers, for Jake to be dislodged from his thoughts. “I heard you, Teddy.”

Bear kissed him softly and stepped back. “Good news is, we should be docking tomorrow.” She had grabbed her watch and was fastening it as she spoke. “I’ll see you later.”

===

Up in the command center, Bear found herself standing before a video call with Admiral Harris. “Sir. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes Commander. You are to disembark a day early due to reasons that are already known to you. Reasons that transpired during the operation known as Hellfire.” The Admiral’s tone was firm, but Bear knew that there was some genuine concern for her lurking deep, deep down. “Your orders are the following: pack your belongings, meet the Lincoln’s Commander on deck to prep for disembarkment, and most importantly, you do not breathe a word of this to anyone until after our debrief has occurred. Am I clear, Commander?”

Bear’s heart sank. She couldn’t tell anyone. Not Bug. Not Mav. Not Jake. The things that this could do to their sprouting relationship. Would it kill it completely? Or could they work past this?

She had to believe that they could. It would only be for a day, right? So Bear nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Crystal clear, Sir.”

“Good. I will see you at the pier, Commander.” And just like that, the video feed cut out, leaving Bear standing and staring at her reflection in the black computer screen.

God. What had she agreed to?

She did as ordered. Except she broke the last rule. She had written a letter to Jake explaining her sudden absence and that he couldn’t say a word. It pained her to do so. Harris’s words had sunk into her, forcing her hand like a rudder guiding a ship, but she had to tell Jake. So in a letter penned and slipped into the pocket of his hoodie that she folded up and placed on her bed, Bear told him what she could.

Jake,

I know my absence is sudden and strange, but please know that I had very little say in the matter. Admiral Harris has requested that I leave early in order to discuss my outburst back in Riyadh. I don’t want to leave you, I really don’t, but I have to do this.

I will miss the bunk cuddles tonight, the comfort you bring from just standing beside me, and the way your touch makes me feel like I am safe in your arms. You are the first man who has ever understood me in such a way and I am so happy that we had our moments these last few days. Unfortunately I have no idea how long I will be gone or when I can contact you again. So until then, please know that I love you more than I can ever express.

I would run out of ink in all the world’s pens before I could ever adequately explain the depth of my feelings for you. But I will settle for this: I love you, Jake, to the bitter end and back again.

All my love,

Your Teddy

That was all she had time to do before the officer escorting her to the deck knocked on her door, stealing away her last moments aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln.

Hopefully it would be enough.

===

A/N: Okay. I’m sorry about all of that. Big thanks to @startrekfangirl2233 and @sarahsmi13s for proofreading this. And an even bigger thanks to @dakotakazansky for helping reformat everything from chapter 14 until now, because this reveal required a lot of extra planning.

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