Tumgik
#RIGHT... THATS WHY YOU PUT THE BREATHING MASK ON HIS FACE... BECAUSE YOU THINK HES DEAD
maddiehu7 · 2 months
Text
Dangerously in love | loki laufeyson |
Chapter 3
I go to help my dad up
"And now theres that guy" he says rising up
"What do you know about Thor violet" romanoff says looking back at me
"Um...um he's a Norse god and...he's the god of thunder control lighting he's pretty dangerous and strong" I say looking nervously at my dad and Steve
"Oh thats great, is he friendly at least?" Steve asks before I can respond my dad speaks
"Doesn't matter if he frees loki or kills him, the tesseracts lost" my dad says with finality turning to fly out of the ship
"Stark we need a plan of attack!" Steve shouts at him
"I have a plan. Attack" my dad says flying out
Steve sighs going to jump out after him but I grab his arm
"Take me" I say hoping he'll agree
"Are you crazy your dad will kill me" he says like looking at me incredulously
"Please Steve, plus I could be of use I know the most about loki and Thor maybe I could help" I say pleadingly Steve thinks for a minute sighing knowing I'm right
"Fine but please for the love of god stay out of the way and try to not let your dad or loki see you" he says
"Thank you!" I say smiling he rolls his eyes grabbing onto me tightly jumping out of the plane
When we get to the ground Steve drops me off onto of a rock and goes down to the fight I can see perfectly from where I am
"Now, I don't know what you plan to do here" Steve says but Thor interrupts
"I've come to put an end to loki schemes" Thor shouts angrily
"Then prove it, put that hammer down" Steve says cautiously and my dad just has to open his mouth
"Yeah...no bad idea he loves his hammer" my dad says Thor swinging his hammer and slamming my dad with it I want to feel bad but he just dosent know when to stop sometimes but I guess I'm a hypocrite because I begged captain America to come down here which some would argue is the wrong thing as I'm thinking all hell breaks lose and they start fighting again in so focused on the fight I don't even hear the footsteps behind me
"Ah Tony starks daughter what a pleasure" I turn around startled only to see the god of mischief himself standing over me I stand up slowly backing up
"Loki" I say sighing out breathlessly from fear
"The one and only" he says smiling put his hands up showing himself off
"What do you want" I say looking suspiciously at him
"And why dear would you presume I want something from a mortal such as yourself" he says cocking his head up curiously looking me up and down
"Well why else would you sneak up on me like a creep" I say crossing my arms cocking my brow
"So brave" he says laughing looking at me with something sinister in his eyes I back up uncomfortable but he starts walking towards me I keep backing up but I feel my back hit stone and suddenly I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place literally
"You seem like a fun thing to play with" he say smiling wickedly reaching his hands up to touch my face but I look away dodging his hand
"And feisty, I like"
"Leave me alone loki" i say looking back at him trying to look tuff
"Fine" he backs away putting his hands up smirking I look at him confused that he did what I told him suddenly missing his presence but that's crazy, right? But all of a sudden a bright flash flashes from below I go to look down brushing by loki which makes him smile and me shiver, I look down and see everyone on the floor getting up
"Are we done here?" cap says out of breath they all look up at loki and me
"Shit" I say looking my dad in the eye my dad flys up as soon as he sees me putting himself between me and loki
"What the hell are you doing here and with him no less!" My dad shouts his mask disappearing from his face god I don't think I've ever seen him this pissed
"Um...nothing...just watching" I say shrugging trying to diffuse the situation
"I swear your gonna give me a heart attack one day, and you...you" my dad says walking towards loki angrily loki just smiling
"Dad stop please he didn't do anything" I say running in between him and loki holding my dad back he looks down at me like I'm stupid
"Didn't do anything?" He says
"Well...to me he didn't do anything to me" I say looking back at loki who's smirking down at me with surprise on his face that I'm defending him
"I can't believe your defending him kid" my dad says looking slightly disappointed
"Did you not hear me? I'm not defending him I'm saying to just stop fighting, god!" I say running my hands through my hair annoyed
"Sorry" my dad mutters
"But I'm still pissed at you, now let's get reindeer games back to the ship" he says clasping handcuffs on loki he looks down admiring the them
"Hammer come fly your brother back to the ship I'll take vi and ice cube" my dad shouts down to Thor which makes him swing his hammer up flying up to our level taking Loki and flying up to the ship, my dad takes me and Steve and flys us up to the ship to
Once we get up to the ship we all go to the center of the ship to watch Loki in his cage furry talking to him
"In case it's unclear, if your try to escape if you so much as scratch that glass" furry says pressing a button the bottom of lokis cage opening up he goes down to look over the edge of his cage
"It's 30,000 feet straight down in a steel trap, you get how that works?" He asks loki pressing the button to close the trap loki chuckles
"It's an impressive cage, not built I think for me" he says easing his hands towards the cage
"Built for something a lot stronger than you" furry confirms
Oh, I've heard a mindless beast makes play he's still a man" loki says looking at the camera walking towards it I look over at Bruce sorrily he just smiles smally at me
"How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?" Loki ask furry smirking
"How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can't hope to control, you talk about peace and you kill because it's fun you have made me very desperate you might not be glad that you did" furry finishes strongly
"Ooh...it burns you to have come so close...to have the tesseract, to have power, unlimited power and for what? A warm light for all mankind to share and then to be reminded what real power is" loki says speaking to furry like he's nothing
"We'll let me know if "real power" wants a magazine or something" furry smiles fakely walking away loki just continues to stare at the camera
"He really dose grow on you doesn't he?" Bruce says sarcastically
"Lokis gonna drag this out so Thor, what's the play?" Cap asks
"He has an army called the chitauri there not Asgard nor any world known he means to lead them against your people they will win him the earth in return I suspect for the tesseract" Thor says turning towards us
"An army..from outer space...well that's just peachy" I say throwing my hands up
"Who are you?" Thor questions looking at me
"Oh sorry I'm Tony starks daughter the one in the red machine" I say putting my hand out smiling
"Oh yes...the annoying one no offense" he says shaking my hand
"None taken" I laugh he smiles at me
"Anyway so he's building another portal tahts what he needs Erik selvig for" Bruce says
"Selvig" Thor says confused
"He's an astrophysicist" Bruce continues
"He's a friend" Thor says looking solemn
"Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours" nat says looking uncomfortable, I've had enough of this conversation and sneak out thinking of what to do....see loki? That's a bad idea right
"Loki laufeyson" I say walking up the stairs to lokis cage He turns around looking confused that I'm here but then putting his shields in place smirking
"Little stark tell me what do I owe the pleasure" he says walking towards me
(To be continued )
6 notes · View notes
Note
How do the penguin, TF, BM, riddler, mad hatter, and scarecrow react if u flash ur bewbs after an arguement
Behold...the flash! Wait...no... not that flash...
Penguin: "Okay fine. You win. Out of respect for those." He pointed at your chest with a grin. You burst out laughing as he continued. "Out of respect for those, I can absolutely say you've won this." "That simple, huh?" You asked between giggles. "That simple, sweetheart. I don't make the rules." Oswald shrugged. "Not even angry or anything anymore!" You retorted. "Take them out and there's no being angry with you anymore. Again, I don't make the rules." He shrugged.
Two-Face: "That's a good counter argument. You make a good point." Harvey chuckled after a pause of surprise. You nodded feeling rather pleased with that. "Two good points." He continued and nodded to your chest and that's when you doubled over laughing. "Two arguments! One for each of you!" You laughed. He chuckled. "When you lose, you lose!" Harvey agreed. "I wanna touch them!" Harv' announced suddenly and Harvey immediately furrowed his brow. The things that came out of his mouth wasn't ideal most times. "Okay, whilst im not opposed to that idea that could have been put more delicately and less like a spoiled child." Harvey said to himself. "Piss off!" Harv' fired back. "They pissed us off, this is how they can make up for it! Get over here!" He practically lunged forward towards you making you laugh more at Harv's eagerness.
Black Mask: He stopped mid-angry rant. There was silence for a moment. Roman hung his head. "Fuck sake." He grumbled to himself. "That got you to breathe. Bet you arent pissed anymore." You smiled. Roman's shoulders shook with his chuckles. "I'm actually pissed off that actually worked." He chuckled to himself and you giggled. "Get over here." He said before he reached for you. "Why didn't you think of this before? This could have solved so many fights!"
The Riddler: "Y-You-that's cheating! You're just doing that because you know I'm right!" The Riddle man is stumbling and stuttering over his words. The Riddler could be flustered but only if caught on guard. He was so determined to take the win in the argument that he didnt see it coming when you lifted your shirt. Now he had to save face from his recovery. "This is you admitting defeat!" He cried out, jabbing a finger towards you. "You have no argument so you're trying to distract me!" "What, don't like them?" You tilted your head. "Thats not the point!" He argued. 'It's not?" You asked. "No! Because what if you were arguing with me and I just unbuckled my- oh of course you'd want that you gutterminded savage!" He cut himself off at your growing grin.
Mad Hatter: His mouth felling into an 'o'. He covered his eyes. Then snuck a peak between his fingers, covered them again. Snuck another peak before bursting into giggles. "How naughty! How scandalous!" "Stopped the fighting though." You pointed out. "Or you could just give in, my sweet!" He replied. "Where's the fun in that? Jervis, you're my boyfriend, why are you covering you eyes? My shirt is down now!" You laughed. The last you think you hear from him is a squeak as he hurries away to hide his beet red face.
Scarecrow: "Oh, excellent tactic." He broke out into a grin. "I can admire such a move, my dear." "I feel pretty good about it." You nodded. "Using my sexual desires against me..." He continued to chuckled to himself. "...well done. For that, just this once, I'll give in because I can admire the creativity to think of that." You took a bow. "I'm here all week!" You declared. Jonathan found it hilarious but clever. He could appreciate a good manipulation tactic and that was one he didn't see coming. He could applaud that.
69 notes · View notes
soir-rouges-esprit · 11 days
Text
xxvi.h: Son of Salem, No that’s NOT TRUE ... “YES … Yes it is true … and gods did I arrive at the perfect time! HeheHAAAAAA … Feeling Helpless are we??” Shut your FUCKING MOUTH!!!! “OH HO!!! THERE HE IS!!!! … The PASION!!!” He walks around me … menacingly. “THATS!! What I like to see … more of that and maybe you would have secured your spot wi … oh no … wait no, I guess that happened because you said a little too much now didn’t you?” I start to wheeze some more, breath heavy and quick. “You can’t fear ME!!! We are the same! We are one! … I’m not the by-product of those other two FUCKS! HA.” He leaned in close and grabbed my chin. “I’m the by-product of You!” I whip my head away and look at him with anger, although I know he only sees the fear in my eyes. “I wanna ask you a few questions” Go Fuck Yourself! “Gladly! … probably after my questions honestly.” he giggled. “Do you think there is even a lasting thought of you in their head? … think you’ve managed to carve something out in there? News flash! … that head was rotten.” He giggled again. “Think about how easy it must have been … to just … drop you … flick of a switch I imagine.” He giggled again all while walking back and forth in front of me. “maybe how much you put in, and how little you get out … some people would have, oh I don’t know … realized what was happening a bit sooner? You know … would have left and caught the next train ride out before shit hit the fan.” stop it … “We’ve always trusted our gut … It’s the only reason we’ve made it as far as we have … it’s all we got … “friend” … ” … “But you … you decided, for some reason, that the gut was untrustworthy … man has that backfired huh? Guess that’s what you get for going against yourself right? That’s what you say all the time Right!? If you’re not being you then what are you doing? and whom for? That masks are all just LIES … put on to shroud people's opinions of you … that it’s cowardice and self-destructive to mask … because the only person you’re fooling is who again?” shut the fuck … up “ooooh right … only fooling yourself.” I aggressively splash water in his direction, which … doesn't even make it to him. “Don’t act like this doesn't hurt me to … think I wanna see you of all people down here with me? Think I asked for this? DO YOU!” He jolts towards me, scrunching his face in anger, showing his teeth and eyes burning brighter than before. “No” he backs away … eyes dim slightly and he adjusts his collar. “No I don’t wish to see you hear of all places at all … I actually want to see you surrounded by white marble, gilded in gold … sitting on a throne with a Stupid Fucking! *sigh* … crown on your head.” He leans down to a Slavic-like couch and faces me. If you’re here to end me on behalf of Wrath and his Deformities … just do so already, Just … end it already … even you can see my pain now … what my decisions and trust has gotten me … please … please don’t make my suffering greater than it already is … If I’ve lost … so be it, congratulations you’ve won I give up, that what you wanna hear? “Wrath?” … He makes a puzzled face. “Oh … you think … ha … Haha … HAHAHA … You think I work for WRATH!!! You think I’m a lackey here to do his DAMN BITTING?” … I stare confused and in pain. “I’m not here on behalf of him … or anyone else for that matter.” what? Then … why? “Like I said … don’t wanna see you here … never again.” huh? “So … “friend” … I’ve come to offer you a deal” No … no not gonna happen. “Seeing as you’ve really no choice … I fail to see how you won’t accept … unless of course … you really have been that damaged in your slumber like all the talk I hear, just as Wrath preaches … in that case maybe it is best you die.” … “I wanna offer you” He grins devilishly and is enshrouded in darkness. “ …  my help … ” He giggles again. “My allegiance MY power, the one you’ve been missing this entire time … the one you crave the most … I will join you … and help you remove that Parasitic tick Wrath from The City and win this shitty little civil war” … why? ... [To Be Continued]
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
majikdog · 1 year
Note
Omg I come here because of the "2022 is the year of Ghost" post!!! (which thank you for putting together and omg... what a ride). I'm not sure if you got this asked before, but could you let usk now how it was meeting Papa? How was interacting with him, and how was the before and after?? I haven't been to a ritual yet, but i'm saving from when they start touring again, since I want to go to the meet and greet so bad! Would love to hear your experience though (if you're ok sharing!) <3
Hey, lovely!!
I’m glad you liked the post, it was fun putting together and I love the additions everyone made too!! It’s been such an eventful year. And I’d love to tell the story of meeting Papa, definitely one of the biggest highlights of my year! It’s something nice to look back on when I’m feeling down.
The interactions are brief due to time and the amount of people with the anointed packages (so many people, anon, I was pleasantly surprised!!) They also normally take place during the other opening bands (in this case it was Mastadon who performed right before Ghost). Basically, the Anointed VIPs are lined up, then taken in small groups of I think 10-20 at most, and led to a small, dark room. A corner of the room is boxed in with black curtains- where Papa is waiting. I was the fourth person in line. I’d been third but I chickened out and made @ghoulish-ghrace go before me, I was FREAKED!! Excited but terrified lol. They don’t make it any better for you, no, the room in dimly lit with smoke, incense, various ambient horror film soundtracks with the impending dread of actually meeting the character you’ve been obsessed with for however long it’s lasted up to that point. Eventually it was my go and I was directed to the little curtained corner. It looked something like this-
Tumblr media
(Not mine, this was a scene from the Swedish rock documentary, Hård rock på export)
The curtain was pulled aside revealing Papa, and he’s very much there. Like straight away, first thing I notice, BOOM in your face, jumpscare. From photos and videos, it’s a little easier to tell “yeah, this is a dude in a mask”, you can look at those things and nitpick the fine details to differentiate the fantasy from the reality. In real time, this dude looks fucking real. And Tobias doesn’t disappoint, he really does go into Papa mode and doesn’t slip in his performance from the mannerisms, the way he holds himself, the accent, everything. Onto the actual interaction, I was inside the mini room and he was literally face-to-face with me. I was still in frightened animal mode and I’m not gonna lie- he noticed and made it apparent but only out of kindness and comfort. It started off with him saying “hello” and “how are you doing tonight?” I answered with something about being okay but scared. He responded with “don’t be, it’s just me” (NO DUH YEAH ITS JUST YOU THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT, MATE). I told him he looked amazing and he replied “as do you, you look very nice tonight” (which I will carry with me to my grave) and he asked me if I was ready for the photo. I was kind of frantic and saying sorry a lot but as always, Papa was so sweet and patient, never got irritated, but at the same time attempted to comfort. Outside the character, I realize he’s totally been in this position before and probably gets it. The photo-taking placed him on the other side of the plexiglas bc of the COVID restrictions but he’s still very close! I still stayed farther away than I should have but hey, I was nervous, this was my first M&G ever AND with my favorite artist of all time. After the photo, I was getting ready to leave, Papa steps in my way to face me, no plexiglass in our way, and we were facing each other with him super close this time with fucking like breath on my face and that piercing stare you hear about so much that definitely lives up to what people tell. Trying not to cry (failed) and trying to keep eye contact (semi-success), I listened as he told me softly, “hey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Now, I want you to go out there, make some friends, have fun and have a good time tonight. Can you do that for me?” I promised I would. I thanked him for everything he’s done and for being patient with me. I almost went to the wrong side of the tent to leave but I was able to turn around and say “goodbye, Papa” and he gave me a little wave watching me leave. Also would like to note that he’s not very tall but does try to loom (I’m fairly short tho so he’s got some height over me, the intimidation was effective. Tobias-1, Adri-0).
Now after all of that and making absolutely sure I hadn’t pissed myself yay, I ran out to find my friend and tackled them nearly to the ground. Noticed a few other fans looking like they were about to bolt and I let them know Papa was so kind and so sweet, it was definitely going to be worth it. I think that’s another thing, be there for your ghesties. It’s as nerve wracking as it is fun but it’s a lot better when you’ve got others to support you through it. Trust me, like I said with “Papa” included, you’re not alone and everyone’s been in this position and it’s okay to apprehensive despite the hard work you did to get there. If there’s advice I have to give, it’s that and also play along with Papa! He’s not Tobias Forge, he’s Papa. The play element makes it a bit easier. If you’re a little like me, script oriented interactions are easier. If you treat this like acting and playing along with the fun, it makes it more enjoyable. And even if that’s too much, you’re not sure what to say or you forget what you were going to say- that’s okay! Papa will be sure to make the experience as personal to you as he can. Just being polite and appreciative of his time and work are enough. Normally, gifts exchanges were allowed but cut out due to COVID restrictions. However, there was a very kind person running everything that I gave my gift for Papa to. He promised me that he’d personally make sure that Papa would get it and gave me his word. If you have anything to give Papa, check the venue websites for restrictions on what is or isn’t allowed in and if you ask the show runners if Papa may have your gift, they will likely work with you on that too.
After all of that pt. 2, I texted my mum and let her know about everything that happened haha. The rest of the night was a blast, my friend and I both got to the barrier area! Papa and his ghouls were also interactive on stage with us. So even if you aren’t able to grab a M&G, chances are you can still get some interaction during the ritual. Somehow making eye contact with him onstage and him gesturing towards you a few times is still as scary as the M&G ehhehehe.
After I think around a week, the photos with Papa are sent to you via email. After scrolling through all of them (yes, you were sent to a website where you’d see everyone’s lol), you’ll find yours. Here is mine:
Tumblr media
(See? Told you I stood far away lol)
But yeah, that’s the gist of it, Anon! Despite the short interaction, it’s well worth it in the end. Like many, I worked hard to get there mentally and financially, and I’m sure you will to. This is your experience and you should own it! And if you ever get scared, I will be your personal hype man because you deserve it!! And I think Papa knows that too. When you do get to meet him, I would love to hear! My inbox and DMs are always open to you and anyone who would want to share. I love sharing my story and hearing others’.
20 notes · View notes
lunar-lair · 8 months
Text
idk exactly how to explain it but. just. 4 UR ENTERTAINMENT by chandler leighton is such a rise leo song. the thing in general is just so...im tired of who ive become. it feels like leo staring at the person hes become after the kraang and sighing softly, so, so tired. it feels like something hed sing at karaoke and reveal the him a couple layers deeper than he usually lets people see. every time i hear it i see him singing it with this wry smile, humming it under his breath in the kitchen, listening to it on loop after he first hears it and thinking too hard about it. its the name of one of my leo playlists that are more like 'leo would so make this', theres one called 'im so sick of my own shit'. here let me grab lyrics just to prove it to you (under the cut bc this got kind of long lmao)
Tumblr media
this is just so. like. ofc insomniac leo but as for the the last two lines in the first verse. like i feel insane every time i hear this song and think of leo bc ive completely changed its meaning but it still feels so right to me?? just leo wishing he could be more boring, that this performance hes putting on could lose its steam. thats how the pre chorus applies, too, this song to me in a leo context is just about leo being tired of the act hes put on. tired of being there for the kicks and giggles, tired of having to pretend he doesnt care so people dont worry about him for being worried about them, this 4D chess game hes playing with his family to be who hes always been. ok moving on though theres more
Tumblr media
this part is just so . ough. i hate the way everyone loves it. i can see leo stepping back with a rue smile as he sings it DO YOU SEE MY VISION. forget my own name can totally be metaphor'd into forgetting who he is too ok. and its like, when did i become this? when i did become someone so me yet not? YOU KNOW
Tumblr media
NOBODY KNOWS HOW BADLY I WANNA GO HOME . GIRL. the lair the trauma after the kraang the person hes become CMON!!! they say that im built different. and now im just an actress, trying to keep up with the habits, trying to keep up with the joking act hes put up. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. DO YOU SEE MY VIISON!!!! this is bad for him he just wants to stop being what hes become hes backed himself into this corner. TRUST ME IT MAKES SENSE. ill have to make another post on my 'leo is leo but hes definitely putting up an act and the person he is has been suffocated' beliefs. or like. multiple that coalesce into the same idea i have so many leo ideas .
Tumblr media
THIS LINE THIS FUCKGIHGLFANLDFJSGLKFJ LINE . god its the core of this. hes so so tired. but he cant change what hes become now because his family will worry. gotta give the people what they want. i cant turn it off, i cant calm down, i cant worry, i cant turn off the jokes and the humor, i have to be the levity. DO YOUS EE-
Tumblr media
this part makes me nearly explode every time i hear this fucking song. take my face off just to put it back on, masks over masks, a brief reprieve before he has to keep acting like him but not-quite-him. no one really knows me, there are parts of leo hes hidden, there are parts of leo he doesnt let his family see, there are parts of him that will worry them that will make them see him as different that theyll tease. no one knows him, he just has to keep this up, find comfort in the box hes backed himself up into. god, if this is the show, then wheres all the applause. i cant even explain why that and the last line fit leo i just. why arent you clapping, god, ive done so much to make this perfect. i know its wrong, the ways ive molded myself, but here i am. YOU KNOW.
anyways this was my psa that 4 ur entertainment is a peak leo song. its been haunting me for over a month and its always been very leo to me plus it honestly slaps pretty hard so im glad to finally share it properly!! with the leo analysis and all, lmao
5 notes · View notes
hamburgerslippers · 2 years
Text
The Nine Of Swords
Tumblr media
Tormenting him is my favorite past time :3c
Variants
Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Design Explanation Under The Cut]
I've read tarot for quite a long time and as an artist I've always wanted to design my own deck or at least a few cards. The idea of infusing myself on such a deep level into my readings is such an exciting idea!! I love to go crazy with symbolism in my art and tarot is all about symbolism! So I had lots of fun with this first card!
This is the first sketch I came up with. I clearly didn't change much at all with my final project, only adding more detail and such. I was just really happy with the composition!
Tumblr media
The nine of swords is a card is a card that I see frequently. It often pops up in positions of the past or currant obsticals for my clients. It more often than not it has symbolized self fulfilling prophecies or anxieties in the readings I've done. It's a card that I find increadibly insightful into someone's or my own life, I also just think the one in my deck is pretty!
You best believe my mind went right to Marcus when I started brainstorming for this card.
At his core, I believe Marcus is a very scared man. He puts on a front of strength and confidence, especially in act 1, but inside he is just another small man who fears what he doesn't know and can't control. His little rant in The Last Drop always sticks in my head and totally sparked the idea for this.
"You people down here are all the same, mistaking arrogance for bravery."
Shit. If that ain't hitting the nail on the head. Replace "you people" with himself and it says everything about his character.
This arrogance he has is just a farce. It's him trying to be brave because in the end, just like most other Pilties, the Undercity terrifies him. Not only that, the power that he wields terrifies him. Thats why he relinquishes power to Silco. Not because he cares about Zaun and not because he doesn't care about Piltover. Its because he is to scared to take responsibility for his actions, to suffer the consequences of them. So instead he puts on a brave face.
When he makes his deal with Silco it's all masks off. He tried, tried so hard to put it back on, but we see in the later acts it just no longer fits. Thats where the symbolism of the card comes in.
Tumblr media
We start obviously with your average nine of swords set up.
Someone in bed, awaking or awake from a nightmare. I chose to make it head on compared to the classic side view cuz I like looking at Marcus, also because I wanted to create a sense of abruptness like what you would see in a movie.
I wanted to show the panic on his face from what ever he was dreaming, symbolic of the immediate anxieties of his life.
The light emanating from his chest represents the future he is not aware of yet still fears (I.E- his death). The white leaking center representing ones soul, ones life, leaking from them as they still breathe. This anxiety fills him so much that it is bursting out of him. The colours represent pain (yellow), fear (orange), and death (red). It can also represent the spark that lights gun powder which goes boom. like he did.
The symbolism of the swords is something I didn't put a lot of thought into until I started looking for references for the hilts, which then got my brain REVVING.
Tumblr media
The central blade, which hangs directly over his head, is the most prominent fear in his life.
Silco.
Silco controls his life. He is his boss, his curse, and the person who is a physical manifestation of his lack of honor. Not only that, but Silco can kill Marcus with no real issue. Sure it would be a bit of a pain, but nothing more, Marcus must know that.
The second blades symbolize Piltover its self. It is his duty to protect it from the very people he collaborates with. He is in a perpetual state of protecting and destroying the place he is sworn to. By partnering with Silco he allows the eye to advance against Piltover, putting it in danger. But if he doesn't then he cannot keep tabs on Silco and his movements, also putting Piltover in danger. Can you see the stress of it?
And finally, the swords that rest behind his shoulders symbolize Grayson's legacy. He has betrayed his mentor. Even as he tries to keep the peace it is in a way which she would not have agreed with. Marcus is trying his best, but his best still dishonors Grayson's legacy.
This next one is like Glaringly obvious (ha).
Tumblr media
Silco's eye behind him. Very blatant. The man stresses him out above all else okay?
The choice of making Marcus embody the nine of swords was an easy one.
To me the nine of swords is a warning, to not dwell on anxieties and woes. By doing so you set yourself up for pain, more stress, and failure. Marcus' inability to act is the direct cause of his death.
If he had thrown away his gun, or ran from the bug bomb he could have survived (presumably). If he had submitted himself to the council and told them of everything he has done and how he's helped Silco then he would likely still be alive, even if it was in prison. IF HE JUST BLEW HIMSELF AND SILCO UP- (I'm not saying that Piltover is right in anyway. Team base violence here. Just speaking from a "Marcus could live if..." perspective)
Marcus is just a sad little gross man with stresses he can't bare to name. I think he'd shove my cards off the table if the nine of swords came up in a reading.
I have a bunch of other arcane tarot ideas and I might even make a whole deck if I ever get the time. Thanks for reading this far! Hope you like my brain thoughts.
41 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Green Arrow (2001) #5
203 notes · View notes
macnevercries · 3 years
Text
You're Mine
Warnings- stalker/yandere tendencies, somnophilia, fingering, male masturbation, penetration, dubcon/noncon, squirting, breeding kink, etc
WC- ~1.7k
This is for @ultimate-astridwriting ‘s  Watch It Creep collab!! (thank you for letting me participate ily)
Dabi had never been one for shopping, going out in public just to have people gawk and point at him was never very appealing. He didn’t need new clothes, there was no one he wanted to impress. Except you. When you went shopping, he couldn't help but love it.
Your constant late night trips became his favorite time of the week. Every time you get new clothes you would blast your music and try on all different outfits with the new pieces you had just bought. Dancing and singing in the mirror, feeling yourself up. Watching you strip and pull clothes snug over your curves over and over never failed to get his dick hard.
On goes a pink tank top and low rise skinny jeans. You take off your bra and brush your nipples over the shirt, looking in the mirror to see them peek through the thin fabric covering your chest. Off goes that outfit, your flawless tits on display, perked by the touch of your own hands. You bend over to pick up a dress to try on, the black thong you wear riding up your ass and giving Dabi an ideal view.
He has a chair pulled up right in front of his window, the perfect view down to your apartment, directly across and down one floor from his. The buildings in your area are packed tight, no more than 10 or 20 feet between the both of you. He takes a seat, spreading his legs and unbuttoning his jeans as he hears your music blast even louder through the thin walls and small expanse of grass that separates your buildings.
He wishes he had a teleportation quirk, that he could hold you in his arms instead of desperately attaching himself to your vulnerable moments. So innocent, you never pull your blinds closed. He often wonders how an angel like you could exist so close to him, in his neighborhood, in his world.
His cock slaps against his stomach, coming to life when he glances up, seeing you peeling off a tight dress. If only it were his hands, his everything pressed up against you, guiding you in your dance while you grind back onto him, hips rolling against his. His rough and scarred hands pump up and down his cock, spreading the minimal precum, the pain of the dry tug spurring him on.
When he glances up from his lap you're putting your pajamas back on, leaving your room to go get ready for bed. Not to worry, he has more material to get off to. His eyes search his room, looking over the various photographs of you hanging on his walls. He’s taken many over time, mostly just normal pictures of you in your apartment or around the neighborhood. But even the most average photos of you entranced him. How could they not, you were just so beautiful.
His eyes run over the photo taped to his wall on the right. He has it placed right next to his window so he can see it when you walk into a different room in the middle of your “session”. The photo depicts you licking dripping ice cream off of your glowing skin on a hot day. Your face is a mix of innocent and erotic, your arms squished together slightly, pushing your breasts up through your low cut shirt. To Dabi this photo is not only perfect because it was captured at the right moment, it’s perfect because it's you.
He tugs harder at his cock, spitting on it roughly and imagining you on your knees for him. How you would wrap your hand around it, cup his balls, swirl your tongue on the tip paying special attention to his piercings all while keeping your eyes glued on him. How he would grab a fistful of your hair and shove your nose to his hips, feeling the contractions of your gagging throat hugging him just right. He’s panting in seconds, making eye contact with the photo one more time before spilling into his hand. He gives a few more pumps, milking himself. He leans over to his desk, wiping his hand off on the matted washcloth that lies there just for this, the one that hasn't been washed in weeks.
When he stands, he sees you walk back into your room with only a small towel wrapped around your body and a face mask, relaxingly flopping onto your bed with your phone. The sight is almost enough to get him going again but he restrains himself, after all he would see you later tonight.
--
Your door creaks, swinging open into your dark apartment. Dabi gets his lock picker from the door handle and shoves it in the pocket of his pants. He slips silently into your living room, he never stumbles, he knows your apartment like the back of his hand. How could he not when you're so obviously begging for him to come over? He has to listen to his baby’s needs.
Your room is down the hallway to the left, right across the bathroom and 14.6ft from your couch. Your room’s door is open, like always. He sits on the edge of your bed, the dip of his weight on the mattress making you roll slightly towards him. He reaches for your face, your skin so soft against his burnt hand. You stir slightly when he tucks your hair behind your ear and wipes the drool from your lip, but he knows you won't wake up, you never do.
Your blankets only cover one of your legs, you must have been too hot. But this is better for both of you because it gives Dabi a nice view of your night attire. Your legs bare, all the way up to your hips. Your unblemished skin begging to be marked by him. You always wear an oversized t-shirt, probably stolen from one of your many ex boyfriends. And only some nights do you wear panties. Dabi counts his luck as he slowly moves your sheets off of you, his breath taken away when he realizes tonight you aren't wearing any.
Your pussy glistens in the moonlight that filters in through your open window, you could never be bothered to buy curtains. Dabi can't resist the need to touch it, to touch you, to claim you. You were his, you just didn't know it yet.
His slender fingers slide through your folds, slightly pinching your clit to watch your pretty little hole twitch and clench at his touch. He slips one finger inside of you, it goes in easily with all of the slick that's gathered and begun to drip down to your thighs. You let out a small mewl when his finger curves to your g-spot, and he adds another for good measure. You never wake up though, you've always been a heavy sleeper.
But he needs you now, he wants you awake. So he kisses you gently, his mouth molding against yours with a softness he didn't know he was capable of. But soon need and lust take over. His soft kisses turn rough, teeth clashing and blood being drawn from your lip. You begin to wake up, he's causing too much commotion for you to stay asleep.
Your eyes blink open to meet his bright blue ones, panic beginning to set in your mind. You take a deep breath, preparing to scream for help but his hand is covering your mouth in an instant before you can even open it. He leans down to whisper in your ear with a gravelly tone.
“If you scream or make any noise, I’ll make sure you can never talk again”
His hand heats up just enough for you to know he’s not bluffing. All throughout his threats, his fingers never stop thrusting into you. Your tired mind is conflicted between fear and lust, you don't know which one to give in to. Your eyes widen and you nod, choosing to comply with him.
You let out a small moan, bucking your hips back against his hand. This causes the nastiest grin to spread across his face, his evil intent sparkling in his eyes.
“You're gonna be a good girl for me, yeah?”
You nod feverishly, your brain not thinking straight. Dabi lets out a low groan at your eagerness, palming himself through his jeans. He begins to unzip them, undressing both himself and you until your bare skin presses against his. The piercings on his cock sting your skin, so cold against your sex.
He kisses your neck, down to your chest and across your torso. “I'm gonna make you feel so good”
He aligns his cock with you, shoving in his entire length in one go. The wind gets knocked out of you, you're breathless as he begins to fuck you at an ungodly pace, never waiting for you to adjust. He murmurs sweet nothings into your ears, kissing you sweetly as if you were in love. Tears begin to fall down your cheek but he licks them away, he knows you want him.
He fucks you harder, curling his hips into yours. The piercings lining his cock drag against your walls so nicely, the previously cold metal beginning to warm up from your shared heat.
“I bet you like that, don't you slut? Prancing around in front of your window every day for me to see. You know what you do to me. Thats why we are where we are right now; me fucking your tight hole and you taking it like the good little bitch you are.”
You moan at his words, his cock bruising your cervix so nicely. His hand reaches down to your clit, rubbing fast and hard circles against your sensitive nub. Your entire body shakes, clear liquid squirting out of you all over him. You grip him like a vice, milking him with your orgasm. He moans loudly, spilling thick white ropes and fucking them into your womb.
“Yeah, you fucking take it, youre mine”
He slows down after a minute, pulling out only to shove his fingers back into your abused hole, keeping his cum safe inside of you.
“You better hold that, I’ll be back”
2K notes · View notes
gnocchighoul · 4 years
Text
the demons brothers + a touch starved mc
Lucifer
If you’re going to Lucifer because you’re touch starved, then you’re definitely going to be close to him already -- he doesn’t let just anyone touch him.
.......He’s also touch starved but won’t admit it, so one of you is gonna just have to bite the bullet and make a move.
(It’s gonna have to be you)
You’re going to have to go about this carefully--make a really good plan and then execute it flawlessly.
Literally just throw yourself at him. 
He’ll catch you. 
Probably.
Nothing says ‘give me affection’ quite like yeeting yourself off the staircase at him, and he definitely understands what you want when you latch on tight to him like a weird little barnacle that he cant peel off no matter how hard he tries dfghjkkgf
He’s really warm and he smells Really nice and he hugs you so tight, like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get, so he’s honestly one of the best snuggle buddies. 
He’s gonna act all fussy about your love-attack at first--just play with his hair and smother him with lots of kisses and he won’t be able to resist snuggling u. Or banging u, but that’s your choice
Y’know, because “demons can’t resist temptation” and all that jazz. 
(tbh he just likes likes you alot)
Mammon
...Why are you staring at him like you wanna eat him?
Seriously, knock it off, you’re freaking him out!
Wait, why are you coming closer…? Get Back you Fiend don’t you DARE wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest like that what the FU--
...Oh.
Huh. This is kinda nice.
(Just hug him. If you want his affection, just wrestle him into a bear hug and don’t. let. go.)
At first, Mammon doesn’t really understand affection that isn’t along the lines of a friendly/loving punch. He’s not used to kindness. It’s a fucking tragedy. 
He doesn’t know how to ask for love because I don’t think he even realizes thats an option, tbh. 
He’s kind of like an unsocialized puppy--will definitely put up a fight until he realizes that, hey, being snuggled is nice.
Luckily for Mams, you are touch starved and determined to show his stupidass what affection is supposed to be like. 
He’s going to get so blushy. Sooo blushy. He totally pretends to not like it at first, but inside he’s over the fucking moon happy.
It takes him a while, but eventually, he realizes that he can ask you for snuggles too. At first he’s all “C’mere human, I bet you’re just itchin’ for me to hug ya, so let me make all your dreams come true!”
(It’s a defense mechanism.)
But over time, he eventually seeks you out and just flops on top of ya, and doesn’t feel the need to make a big show about it.
He feels safe with you, and that’s priceless.
Levi
Is incredibly confused about why you’re seeking out him for affection.
When you ask him if you can give him a hug, he expects you to just like... Wrap one arm around his shoulders for .2 seconds. 
Which doesn’t sound too bad, so he says “Um, sure, I guess? I dunno why you’d want to though” 
So when you climb into his lap and wrap your arms around him like a koala bear, his brain straight up blue-screens. 
Seriously, he forgets how to breathe. Don’t squeeze him too hard or he might never restart.
You smooch him on his cheek and his soul promptly leaves his body and is ejected into the atmosphere at mach 5.
This is literally better than Heaven. And he would know, he used to live there.
He totally freezes up and makes a wheezy sound that’s somewhere along the scale of “Dying Animal” and “Exploding Sink”
Needless to say, you create a snuggle monster.
I promise you that you’re never going to be touch starved again, because once you’ve given Levi a taste, he can’t get enough. 
He constantly needs to be touching you. Holding your hand or the fabric of your shirt, leaning against you, sitting with you in his lap while he plays video games--it literally doesn’t matter, he just needs that contact with you or he might literally die. 
He’s very enthusiastic about it dfghkfd
Satan
Look… Satan is very smart. 
But he’s also incredibly dense at times. 
You have to be blunt with him, or else he’s just not going to know what you want.
(Feelings that aren’t all consuming anger and hatred are still a bit new to him--he’s learning as he goes)
Just walk up to him and tell him that you need him to snuggle you right now, dammit. Lay your soul bare to him. 
He really does love that you trust him. It makes him feel all weird and fuzzy inside.
And how can he possibly say no when you set his heart alight?
That said, he is a bit of an over-thinker. 
Worries about crossing boundaries or making you uncomfortable and a million other things--give him lots of reassurance pls
He isn’t opposed at all to cuddle sessions, especially if he’s able to read at the same time. 
It definitely becomes a normal thing to cocoon yourselves up in a really fluffy blanket to read together.
Satan is honestly one of the best to snuggle with because he’s very chill about it. You want this and he wants this, so he doesn’t see a point in playing games.
So yeah, he’s chill! But he’ll also threaten the life of anybody who interrupts you guys 
Asmo
Please, he knows that you’re touch starved before you even do.
Until you’re upfront about it, he’s going to tease you by like, patting your head, playing footsie with you, giving you only the briefest of hugs--just slowly giving you a taste of his affection until you finally cave and demand that he snuggles you properly. 
(Is that a euphemism? It could be lol)
As soon as you ask he’s gonna push you down onto the nearest couch/bed/whatever and just flop on top of you. 
Honestly, Asmo wants You to be the one holding Him. He wants to use your chest as a pillow, and doesn’t he just look so cute all snuggled up to you like this? He totally does, you should take a pic of him!
Cuddle sessions are absolutely going to become a regular thing, and he makes them into a big event each time. My mans Asmo is gonna bust out the candles and the softest blankets and the fluffiest pillows.
If the opportunity strikes, he’s definitely gonna try to bang you.
If not, expect to do face-masks together. Maybe manicures. But definitely the face-masks, at least.
He’s gonna spin this into a fuckfest or a self care session--it really just depends on what you prefer sdghjk
Once you’re in his arms, he will tickle you. rip
Beel
He is the BEST hugger in the whole entire world.
When you approach him and ask for cuddles he will pull you into a hug without hesitation.
I do not care how tall you are, Beel is taller. He will engulf you in a hug and rest his chin on your head and sway you back and forth 
You want a piggyback ride? Hop on. 
Just wanna watch tv and snuggle? Great idea! :D but maybe don’t watch cooking shows or he’s gonna drool on you dfghj
(lowkey I think he would really enjoy watching human movies with you. He found Mamma Mia to be absolutely enchanting)
Want him to lay on top of you and crush you until all of your woes have been squeezed away? He will absolutely oblige you
Congratulations on your newly acquired teddy bear! Please don’t forget to feed him.
Literally just sit on his lap or wrap your arms around him whenever you want, he’s always down for a good snuggle. 
He’s by far the nicest about it too, he won’t tease you about it and he will never hold back from telling you exactly how much he loves holding you in his arms
Definitely loves to be the big spoon but has no problems with being the little spoon either. 
He’s just so fuckimg SWEET
Belphie
Oh, you're touch starved? Perfect. He's been in the market for a good snuggle buddy.
You silly human, why didn’t you come to him sooner?
Don’t listen to what Asmo says, snuggles are Belphie’s domain.
Once it’s established that you two are going to be snuggle buddies, he will literally just abduct you for snuggle time. 
He doesn’t care what you’re doing, he’s going to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of flour and haul you off to his blanket nest whenever he wants.
He just wants you all to himself. 
Will share your snuggle time with Beel tho.
After abducting you, he's just gonna toss you onto his bed and fall on top of you. He's really warm and he really just wants to lay on you. Partially so that you cant escape once he falls asleep lmaoo
He's happy to just talk to you about whatever you want while you guys get your snuggle on, but be warned: he's eventually going to fall asleep. 
Probably mid sentence. 
He won’t wake up when you poke at his cheeks or shake him, either. So uh. I hope you’re in the mood for a nap too!
Get matching sloth onesies with him. He’ll tell you it’s stupid but he’s actually thrilled with them. (Make sure you also get Beel a bear one though)
((part two with the undateables + Luke))
6K notes · View notes
deleteddewewted · 3 years
Note
Hey comadre! I saw you asked for a fluff request, and I came to deliver 💜 I think you might be intrigued by the idea!
Shinsou who has been bullied his whole life, with the bullying growing harsher his middle school years. When he begins his high school life in UA, he remains distant, not allowing himself for others to get close to him, and for them to hurt him, because he has developed that trauma. He then successfully transfers over to the Hero Course, and his seat partner is the chubby/curvy girl of the class. She is friendly and welcoming towards him, but he remains to give her the cold shoulder, although he saw her intentions genuine, but he still keeps his guard up. She then goes and sits with him during lunch, her explaining that she understands why he gives off the cold shoulder to his peers. She explains she has underwent being bullied herself, by her weight and such. She tells him that as time passed, she learned to love and accept herself for who she is, and offers to help Shinsou in a similar manner. To help him learn to trust people and she asks if he puked accept her as a friend. He accepts and their friendship grows, with him starting to develop feelings for her, and wants to spend more time with the person who saved him from his own troubles 💗
My heart and soul needed this, thank you comadre!💜
(I may or may not have used some of my personal experience being body shamed in here so....yeah, thats your heads up.)
Misery and Company
Emo/Himbo Shinsou x F! Reader (Reverse Comfort)
TW: Mentions of bullying, Mentions of Body Shaming, Leading on
Tumblr media
He remembered the constant laughter that was present in his life. Everyone would assumed it was a great childhood but to him, to someone like him, it was never the paradise that it was thought to be. The laughter was at him not with him. Kids pointed their fingers towards him and blamed him for all of the problems that would happen throughout the school day.
“I didn’t do it!” As a child, he didn’t know any better. He assumed that he could scream and yell like every other kid and be listened to. He found out quickly that he didn’t get that right. The teacher quickly told him off and called his parents. They came to pick him up from school and started to ask all kinds of questions. Did your quirk go off? Why did you do it? Is it that hard to listen? He didn’t bother to try to make connections after that. Friends were a waste of time. A liability. An opportunity to suffer unnecessarily.
When Shinsou reached middle school he suffered from the increase of villain comments. His quirk became the center of attention, it didn’t matter if he had good grades or was nice to people. His quirk was the focus, always was.
“You can get away with everything you want!” He’s heard that one about a million times already. It always managed to irritate him how much people cared about what he did with it. He hated the eyes. The voices. It only made his internal monologue become aggressive with himself. The constant reminder that he was less than the others for being born with a quirk that used people. It made him want to scream his head off.
“Yeah, I’m aware. Um, can we stop talking about it now?” He wasn’t a pushover but he knew that he could just say what he wanted. He purposefully asked a question to get the other student to stop talking without using his quirk. The last tithing he wanted was for someone to accuse him of using his quirk on them.
That night, Shinsou worked on his homework at his desk. His parents were away on a work trip so he had the entire house to himself. He looked at the time and groaned when he realized it was already one in the morning. He walked into his bathrooms and looked for his toothbrush. When he looked up at the mirror, ready to brush his teeth, he couldn’t help and stare at himself. His eyes held bags under them, dark and heavy as if he hadn’t slept in days. The faint smudging of the eyeliner he put on only making his eyes look even worse. He was tired and alone. His parents weren’t there to comfort him and with his quirk making it difficult to connect with others, he had no one to speak with other than himself. He dropped his hand down and just stared at his reflection. The image became hazy as he continued to stare back at it.
His face felt warm. He couldn’t stop the river that flowed down his face. He didn’t ask for his quirk, he also didn’t ask to be born. Shinsou couldn’t stop the rattling within his chest nor the stuttered gasps as he tried to breathe. He looked up at his reflection again, this time noticing the red and swollen eyes that belong to him. That night, Shinsou laid down to sleep on top of the covers and stared blindly at the uncovered window. He vowed to never become attached again. Not to classmates, not to family, and definitely not any possible friends.
Going to UA was a dream come true for him, the ability to be closer to your heroic dreams was closer than ever, but not for him. Shinsou had to watch as the heor course students acted like entitled brats, everyone in the school bowing to them like they were some great thing. He hated watching them boast, hated everything about them, to be honest. He wanted nothing to do with them, so why did they want something to do with him?
“Uh, sorry but I was wondering if you’d like to sign this petition?” Shinsou looked up from the book he was reading and stared straight towards the holder of the voice. It was a short chubby girl with a clipboard in her hands. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for his answer to her question.
“No thanks.”
“It’s for a local shelter, it’ll help abused and abandoned pets find a good home-” Shinsou wanted to be left alone. He sighed out loud and closed his book while rubbing his eyes, the eyeliner smudging.
“I said no. Now leave me alone.” Shinsou watched as the girl flinched at his annoyed voice.
“S-sorry, I’ll just leave you alone.” She quickly walked away from him, nearly entering a jog as she left him behind. Shinsou couldn’t help but become disappointed with himself. The girl was being nice to him and he snapped at her. She wasn’t even benign annoying, he just felt tired. He could hear how some people around him mumbled about the exchange he packed his things up and left towards his class.
He did see the girl again from time to time. He found out she was in the hero course and that she was in the A class as well. He would spot her on occasion but he did interact with her during his hero course admissions test. She wore her hero costume with pride and honestly, he had to look away for a moment, she looked like power itself. He couldn’t help feel intimidated in her presence. She didn’t come up to him yet so he had to come up to her. He intended on apologizing for his behavior a few months back, he didn’t mean to snap at her and he never found the opportunity to do so.
You watched as the indigo-haired boy awkwardly made his way towards your group. He wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes but instead focused on the floor below him.
“Hi, I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” He extended his hand out to you but you just stared at him like he grew a second head. He felt awkward again, he was expecting you to at least call him a dick but the silence made his stomach become tight.
“Nice to meet you Shinsou, I’m L/n Y/n.” You felt bad for being quiet for too long, you couldn’t help it. He was really pretty to look at especially since he wore eyeliner that sharpened the appearance of his eyes.
“Oh, uh yeah. I um, wanted to apologize for my attitude a while back. It was rude of me and uhh, I know that saying I was in a mood isn’t a good excuse but-”
“It’s fine, I get it. I can be annoying so it’s ok.” You gave him a bright smile and a clap on the back of his shoulder.
He tensed when he felt the heat of your hand on him, he couldn’t help but lean slightly into it. His ears reddened and not wanting to embarrass himself more than he did already, he quickly pulled his mask up to cover his ears and face.
“No- yeah- I mean no, you- you weren’t annoying, I was just in a mood and it accidentally let it out on you. Sorry about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at you briefly. You just smiled at him again and got closer to his person.
“Hey, do you mind if i-” You grabbed the bottom part of his mask and pulled it down slightly, your face closer than ever before to his own. He stopped breathing as you got closer, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about his breath. He smelled like coffee and for some reason, it made him feel embarrassed if you were to found out about his dependency of it.
You reached out with your pinky and brushed some of the black flakes of his eyeliner away from his upper cheek. You blended the smudged eyeliner on the bottom of his eye out and pulled his mask up again to cover his face.
“There! Just wanted to clean up your makeup. It’s really well done, by the way, wish I could do my own eyeliner as clean as your own. Do you wear eyeshadow on the bottom lid or is it just eyeliner with you?” You weren’t mocking him for his dressing and styling choices, many of his old classmates did.
He told you about what products he uses and yes, he did use eyeshadow for his bottom lid. You just smiled at him and occasionally added what you used. He enjoyed talking to you, you were nice to him and allowed him to speak his mind. He couldn’t help but want to know more about you. Unfortunately, your conversation had to come to an end since his group was the first one up, but you both agreed to talk after all matches were over.
His second year at UA was better but he still felt awkward around everyone. Everyone, discluding Bakugou, was nice to him. You especially made it your duty to be around him all the time. He enjoyed your company but he found himself still pushing away from him at times. The constant lingering feeling of possible betrayal being prominent in all of your interactions. It didn’t matter how many times you helped him do his makeup or how many times he did your own, didn’t matter if he showed you his favorite video games to play, nor if he introduced you to his parents and had you in his room playing those same games with him for hours. He was still nervous, paranoid that you’ll stab him in the back. Scared that you’ll turn around and show your true colors. That you’ll take everything you know about him and tell everyone so you could all mock him again.
Shinsou, due to his fears, started to pull away from you. No more hanging out with him, no more doing each other’s makeup, no more eating lunch together. Shinsou ignored you every time you tried to speak with him, always turning himself away from you or being rude in some manner. It did discourage you at times, made you feel like you were back in middle school with the cute guys in your grade only speaking with you to make fun of your interests afterward. You thought that maybe he was going to be different but you guessed not. You kept away from him as you processed the situation but that also gave you the chance to watch him. You noticed that instead of sitting with your guy’s other classmates he would op to sit on his own within the cafeteria at a faraway table or somewhere else. You noticed that he not only avoided you but the rest of your classmates. He was back to how he was in his first year.
You couldn’t keep watching him be alone again, you didn’t want to leave him alone. You made up your mind and made your way towards Shinsou. He was sitting outside of the cafeteria eating his lunch while reading a book that was placed on his lap. He looked tense as he continued to read and nervous at any sound that made itself known. You felt bad for him, from what he told you about his own school experience, more of the lack of, you assumed that he was bullied for his quirk. He never used it on you and he never spoke much about it. He never gave you any details and never told you how his quirk activities, he just avoided the conversation entirely but he was always excited to listen to your own though.
“Shinsou.” You watched as the male jumped in his spot on the floor and direct himself towards you.
“Shinsou, can we talk for a bit?” He averted his eyes and began to pick his things from the floor, shaking his head as he did.
“N-no, sorry. I have to go-” You got in his way and crouched down to meet him at eye level.
“I know you have nowhere to be at. Please, talk to me for a bit.” You placed your hand on his own and stared at him. Shinsou didn’t want to meet your eyes. He didn’t want to see the disgust in them or the hatred you felt for him.
What he didn’t expect was for you to place your hand on his cheek and gently guide his gaze to your own. His eyes were wide and watery, he didn’t understand why you were being so gentle, so kind with him. Didn’t you want to be angry with him? Your own eyes were soft, a small smile present on your face.
“Shinsou, what’s wrong?” Your voice was gentle and your touch never leaving him. He took in a breath and spilled everything and all of his troubles to you. Once he finished, he was welcomed by a hug.
You pulled him into your own body and shared your warmth with him. You gently brushed his wild hair as you allowed him to cry to his heart’s content. He needed someone to listen to him, someone who would just let him talk. You were that person for him. Once he felt better, he pulled away from your person and rubbed his eyes. His eyeliner was running and smudging severely on his face. He pouted slightly at his destroyed makeup but then looked at your uniform. You had black smears all over your jacket and shirt.
“I-i’m sorry L/n. I didn’t mean to ruin your uniform.” You just chuckled and shook your head at him.
“It’s fine Shinsou, you needed to let it all out.” He began to take deeper breaths and eventually sat next to you. His head gently laying on top of your own.
“It… it was frustrating you know? I thought that I was the problem and I still feel like I am at times.”
“I get what you mean, I also had to deal with bullies.” Shinsou lifted his head and looked at you confused. You had to deal with bullies? Why? You were nice to everyone, why would anyone want to hurt you?
“I think it’s obvious as to why Shinsou.” Shit, did he say that out loud?
“Yes, you did.” You gave him another smile and took his hand. You compared him to your own. Your hand was smaller than his own but it was rounder, chubbier, just like the rest of you. You found it adorable how different the both of you were.
“I’m overweight, man. People tend to hold a preconceived idea of what overweight people are like.” Shinsou still couldn’t understand.
“So?  Why would anyone bully you for something you don’t have all that much control over?”
“Because they’re mean. It’s a power trip for them.” You began to play with his fingers, taking note of the muscles that you weren’t aware existed within them.
“I used to have a crush on this guy and for the longest time, my classmates made fun of me because of it. They always said that I was too fat for him or that id hurt him if I leaned onto him. Typical mean comments about my appearance and how I was unloved.” Shinsou began to frown and got closer to you. His body heat becoming a welcoming presence to you as you recounted your own struggles.
“Then one day he asked me to hang out with him. We ate lunch together and we spent time together. I thought he was interested in me just like I was interested in him. He once got close to my face and made it look like he was about to kiss me before reaching for something behind me. We laughed it off as an accident but I noticed the small blush on his face. I was excited.” You pressed on each of his fingernails and wiggled his fingers in between your pointer and thumb.
“I thought that this was it, he liked me back. Our school dance came and everyone was asking out their dates for it. I thought he was going to ask me to go with him but that didn’t happen. He pulled me towards him in the middle of class with everyone watching us, a lot of the other girls were jealous of me because of it.” You noticed the chipped nails polished on his nails and began to scratch it off.
“He cupped my face and pulled me closer to him. We were going to kiss.” You stopped playing with Shinsous hand. Your hand falling onto the ground limply.
“He gripped my face and pushed me away saying “Did you really think id like you? You’re such a joke L/n.” ” You pulled away from Shinsou, your hand rested on your lap instead of anywhere near his.
“I felt so alone, so gross, so….fat. It hurt but it was made worse because it was in front of everyone. Everyone saw how he treated me and made fun of me. No one did anything, not even as I ran away crying. Instead, I got comments about my weight. I got called some really mean names that day and the following. I didn’t go to my school’s dance, I didn’t want to be made fun of again.” You didn’t hear a thing from Shinsou. He just sat there looking at you like you were crazy.
“Their assholes.”
“I know.” You looked at him and smiled. He came closer to you, grabbing your hand from your lap and interlacing them in one another.
“But I don’t feel like that anymore. I don’t care is a better way to phrase it. People can have their opinions, either nice or mean. I can’t dictate that.” Shinsou scooted closer to you as you continued talking.
“But I can dictate the way I think about myself and the people I want to be around me.” Shinsou couldn’t help himself anymore.
He leaned in towards you and placed his hand on your cheek. His lips gently pressing onto your own and unmoving. You felt your heart fluttered but it quickly turned to amusement. He just pressed his lips to yours and wasn’t moving, He wasn’t moving. He had his eyes closed and pressed into you, it was beginning to bruise your lips. You pulled back slightly and looked at his face. He had his lips still puckered and his eyes closed. You giggled and quickly kissed him again before he pulled away. You on the other hand did move and deepened the kiss.
Shinsous heart soured as you kissed him back, his lips no longer hurting but feeling gently caressed by your own. He couldn’t help the small gasps that escape him nor the way he pulled you closer to him. When the two of you parted, Shinsou looked at you with sleepy eyes. He wanted this and he wanted more.
“I like you L/n.”
“I like you too Shinsou.”
260 notes · View notes
venushasvixens · 2 years
Text
October 9th - Power Struggle (Kylo Ren x Reader) / Kinktober 2021
Tumblr media
[A/N] oh no not another angsty kylo fic again!
WARNING: rough, strong language, 18+
“We will have a talk when I get back.”
Every TIE pilot and control room staff heard those chilling words as you navigated your way back to the Finalizer. It was a warning to all clearly. Do not get in the way of the Supreme Leader or face the consequences. Being well aware of that, there was only one target that Kylo had his gaze set on.
You were seething with embarrassment, rage and hurt. You and Ren had gone over the strategy of the upcoming battle, with you at the helm and control. But in a show of having big balls and a puffed out chest, the Supreme Leader overruled your command, and took on the lead. It was a shitshow. Confusion as to what was the formation or who to attack was sounded off in the speakers as you and Ren fought on a different channel. Insults and roars of anger flew between you both, heated and ready to say fuck all to the Resistance and have a showdown of power.
You had calmed down some, your footsteps clanking on the hard metal floor. Averted gazes from First Order officials was given to you, only imagining the next events in order. You could see it now, Hux opening applicants for a second-in-command for Ren, someone who knew how to not get themselves killed. Apparently that was too much to ask for.
The blast doors closed behind you as you took a seat for the last time in your office/apartment.
“F-fucking Ren, what a fucking idiot..” you mumbled as you pushed your helmet into the cushion of your couch and kicked your shoes off. “Tells me how to do my job, take my job and stick it up your ass, you s-stupid-“
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Your head whipped around to see the masked creature storm in, his fists balled at his side. As the blast doors shut, Kylo lifted off his helmet, holding it in one hand.
“You better have a good explanation as to what the fuck happened out there.” He muttered lowly, trying carefully to control his emotions.
“You tell me, Ren. The plan was right there, it was in the palm of my hands and you took it away.” You looked at him, your mask of civility melting away. “You really dont get it, do you?”
“No, I really don’t.” He replied, voice clearer and louder.
I had the UPPER hand, thats why everyone was responding to me, Ren. Not you.” You seethed, breathing heavily.
“It’s well known that my title automatically puts me before you. Should’ve been aware of that.” He replied, lips pulled back like a hiss. “Gods, youre such a selfish brat.”
Your anger was now out of hand. “I’m selfish? Maybe if you weren’t there, WE COULD HAVE WON IT!”
You threw your helmet across the room, shattering a wall light fixture in the process.
“No wonder we keep on losing all the time, because you think you’re so much smarter than the rest of us, that you think that whatever works for you, works all the time. IT FUCKING DOESN’T!” Your body shook as you shouted at the top of your lungs at Ren, panting heavily as all your frustration vomited out. “The galaxy couldn't have picked a better leader. Just get out of here.”
You watched in anticipation as Kylo searched the room to look anywhere but you. You could only imagine the things he was going to do to you now that you had shown how you really felt about him.
All wrath accumulated in a burst of energy, Kylo firing his lightsaber to life. He tore through your desk and chair, hitting, stabbing all that the saber could destroy. The heat of the weapon brought a dark warmth to your face as you looked on in horror. As soon as it started, Kylo holstered his weapon, panting.
You stood still, trying to contemplate what just happened. You were so in shock you didnt see Kylo approaching you, his large frame overshadowing. Gloved hands grabbed your face, a hot searing kiss was planted on your lips. It was violent as Kylo’s tongue tried to dominate you, his mouth moving forcefully. You attempted to push him off, breaking the kiss.
“N-no, no.” You heard him whisper as he pulled you back in, his grip on you so tight you thought you couldn't breathe.
Give in. Please.
You wanted to pound on his chest and push him off, not giving him the satisfaction that he did not deserve. Instead, you were falling for him all over again. What an idiot, you thought. The fearless leader of the TIE pilots brought to her whim by a simple kiss.
-
Your clothes were in tatters all over the floor, evident of a struggle. On top of Kylo, you felt like you could do anything as you pleased. You controlled what he felt, how fast and how hard it could be. Both you and him had scratch marks raked up your bodies, on your back and stomach. You were pretty sure you were going to be left with a few nasty bruises on your thighs as well.
Kylo huffed as you went down on him, your mouth wrapping around his cock. Bobbing your head up and down at a steady pace, you let your tongue lick and flip up along his shaft. Growling and thighs shaking, you had him in the palm of your hand. He became undone in your mouth, a “great” leader surrendering to you.
Mouth wide open, drool and precum spilled down from your parted lips and onto his balls. Your hand massaged and squeezed so lightly, causing Kylo to moan aloud. You took this as a victory, something to make up for from earlier.
“A-ah, is that so?” You hear Kylo grumbled, a slight smile upturning the corners of his mouth. You wish you could’ve turned off your thoughts. In a quick fluid of motion, your ass was stuck in the air and your head shoved into the mattress.
“F-fuck you, Ren.” You snarled into the cushiony material underneath you, squirming underneath Kylo’s force grip. Your kicks and flailing were rendered useless as the Supreme Leader chuckled darkly at your sad attempts to fight and take authority back.
“You’re only making this worse, (y/n). It’s easier to confide than control.” He whispered lowly in your ear, that growl that was so recognizable in his vocoder still perceptible. “Submit to me.”
“Never.”
“Hmm. Then I will do what I must.”
You let out a gasp as you felt the head of his cock against your clit, almost in a slapping motion. Each slap on your cunt splashed droplets of your wetness onto your thighs and bed. Soaking and exposed, this was all so humiliating. As all you felt was the tip, you could only think of how the rest of him was. Both scared and excited, you lifted your ass up further in submission, your little white flag waving.
Sensing you giving up, Kylo sighed in relief. “It’s about time. Now how about I show you true power, yes?”
Before you could give an answer, Kylo squeezed himself into your tight cunt, groaning. You gasped at the length, now fully realizing what you were in for.
Your cries and whines were a blubbering mess as he fucked into you. Each thrust was hard as he pushed your ass against his cock, using you like a toy. From this angle, you could feel everything. Every ridge deliciously rubbed against your walls, with the tip grazing your g-spot.
Your moans and gasps turned into screams as Kylo’s stamina never faltered, instead getting more vigorous. His grip tightened on your hips, his fingertips digging in so hard you thought he was going to tear into flesh. You couldn't even call out his name. It was so rough. But you were not so ready to give up yet.
Being used in every position possible, you were shown who really did have the upper hand. One minute your ass was in the air, and the other you were on top, riding him like there was no tomorrow. It was pathetic as you tried to gain authority as you bounced on his cock, your weak arms giving out as you tried to pin him down. But was that going to stop you?
“S-see? L-look at you, not fighting back.” You tried to taunt, but to no avail. There was a look of amusement on Kylo’s face as your insults landed nowhere. It was kind of fun in a messed up sort of way to get your hopes up like that. As his balls pressed against the backside of your ass, he swooped you into his arms and planted you on back, much to your protest.
You whined and strained to escape his grasp, only to be held down by the force. Your cunt sputtered as Kylo stuffed you with his member, the sound almost drowned out by your sobs and moans.
“N-no matter how hard you try, I will always come on top, fuck!” Kylo growled as he plowed into you, trying to hold off his orgasm just to drink in the sight of your final surrender. He stared into your glazed over eyes, so full of anger and ecstasy. It was silent, but he knew that you were submitting to him fully.
“T-that's a good slut, aah.” He moaned, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and ragged. “Y-you're going to cum with me.”
You nodded, sobbing as you felt his command take over your cunt. Body convulsed and filled to the brim, it sounded like a howl as Kylo pumped his cum into you, each thrust promising more of his seed. Cum oozed out of your stretched hole, your pussy throbbing as Kylo cautiously pulled out of you. Breathing heavily, he laid next to you, pushing his hair out of his face. You looked at his cock, red and twitching.
Your wrists ached from being held down, but it wasn't compared to how your emotions felt. You turned on your side, wanting to avoid any more contact with him for at least the rest of the night. You did say some hurtful things, and it's in his character to retaliate ten fold.
Regret washed over Kylo as he glanced at your downtrodden back. He did have to admit, he did bring you down in the worst possible way. It wasn't right at all that he did that to you, and he felt so sorry for it. He knew that he would reach out to you now physically, you would reject him. Your pain radiated off of you, causing even more shame in Kylo.
Forgive me.
You opened your eyes, turning to see Kylo watching you with a remorseful gaze. A lump grew in your throat, taken aback at his apology. It frightened you as you tried to read Kylo. There was a sincerity in his face, genuinely pleading for you to accept his forgiveness. As his eyes were averted from you, you gently enclosed his face into your hands. Kissing his forehead, Kylo wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you in closer.
You couldn’t stop kissing him, each one acting as an apology more. Tears fell down your face. You could not stop saying you’re sorry, and neither could he. No words spoken, but you had understood the mutuality between you both. Kylo nor you could see the future after this moment, if you would continue as his right hand or as his lover, but for now all that mattered was comfort that you gave each other.
Exhaustion washed over you both as your bodies sunk into the mattress, consciousness slipping away as you felt the last loving affirmations from Kylo echo in your head.
I’ll always hold you higher to me, from now on. I promise you.
236 notes · View notes
gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years
Text
ML Ficlet: Nothing changed
It was unnaturally cold for this time of year. That is what the crimson heroine thought to herself as she dashed across the rooftops in the city of love.
She landed on the roof that was their usual meet up point.
"Just in time My Lady." Chat noir purred. "Looks like you are keeping your promise about not missing our patrols."
Ladybug wished she could be in a happier mood. She was questioning whether she should even tell him about what she did.
"Ladybug? You in there?" Chat noir inquired. "I called you my Lady again and you didn't correct me?"
His question snapped Ladybug back to the present.
"Huh? Oh, right sorry." She apologized.
"A lot on your mind?"
"You could say that."
"Do you want to talk about it? Or is it guardian stuff?"
Ladybug decided she would tell him after patrol tonight, she didn't want the mood to be soured over this.
She takes his hand.
"We can talk later. But first, Paris needs protecting." She smiled sweetly. The cat felt a faint blush on his cheeks. But the feeling faded when he realized she had taken off.
"Oh! So thats how you want to play." Chat noir smiled.
The two teens patrolled the city from above. They made sure to protect several food stands... in case an akuma was Hangry. Making time to take photos. They even comforted a girl after a bad date, preventing an akuma in the making.
It had been awhile since Chat noir was able to enjoy a patrol with Ladybug like this. She wasn't so high strung trying to force herself to have fun or so quick to get out. It was like nothing had changed. Perhaps Ladybug had finally found a good balance, he hoped that was the case.
Though as soon as it started, the patrol was at an end. Chat noir wishing it could have went on forever.
"Well sadly while the night is young, we must part." Chat noir acted out like a thespian. Using over dramatic hand gestures to exemplify his 'Heartbreak.'
"Silly kitty." Ladybug let out a sigh and light giggle. Oh how it was music to his ears.
"Well good night bugaboo. I will dream of you." He teased.
Ladybug's expression went grim.
"Wait a second."
Chat noir stopped himself from leaping.
"Yes My... yes Ladybug?"
Chat noir could tell that the mood had shifted. He had gotten better at reading her emotions and it was clear she was going to say something serious. He put away the mental clown nose.
"I... I need to tell you something important." Ladybug spoke. Her words holding much more weight with each passing second.
"Look Ladybug... if this is too much you don't have to tell me. I know that..."
"No, I need to tell you this. Even if it hurts." Ladybug interrupted. Her voice shook in that moment.
The air blew much colder to the cat.
"Okay, what is it?"
Chat noir prepared for some sort of verbal punch. Whatever it was, he was sure he could take it.
"I told someone my identity."
He was wrong. It was like he had the air knocked out of him. That couldn't be right. There was no way she would.... right?
"I'm sorry Ladybug. I think I must of misheard what you said. Cause it sounded like you said you told someone your secret identity." He tried to make light of it. His body shaking as he forced a Cheshire grin.
"You didn't. I told someone who I am under the mask."
His heart felt like it was dropped off the roof of the building they were standing on.
"You mean someone forced you to tell them? Cause we can track them down and fix it."
"I told someone, of my own free will, who I am. I know that comes as a shock. You are right to feel mad."
The cat hero looked at her, his expression became unreadable.
"Mad? You think I would be mad about this?" His voice trying to so hard to maintain calm when every part of his heart feels like he is being stabbed. "I am hurt, that you would think that."
"It wasn't something I did to hurt you. I just felt the pressure of everything... and I couldn't.... I couldn't bear it alone." Ladybug answered. She was not happy with this. She knew chat noir would feel hurt, but she never expected this.
Chat noir took a deep breath. He would ease himself. He needed to be rational. Ladybug was being honest with him. She could have just kept it from him. He needed to understand how hurt she must feel about all of this. Even if this felt like his heart was being dissected, he would not make Ladybug feel worse about this. He would try to be understanding.
"Okay... I understand. Fu had Marianne. Its okay that you would tell someone."
Ladybug eased a bit, the cat seemed to be coming around.
"It wasn't something I wanted to do. I know how much this must sting hearing this."
This felt so condescending to the black cat. And that was the last straw.
"No. Not at all. I mean sure I want nothing more in life then to know who my closest friend and crime fighting partner is. And sure, I completely hated the rule with a passion that could rival the desire shadow moth has for our miraculous. But I stuck to it because, hey, it was for the sake of Paris and it made sure we could stay safe from the crazy super villain. It made sense, and even though I wanted to tell one person who I love who I am, I couldn't risk it. Even though it ruined the relationships I had, I endured. I did it because, Ladybug was counting on me. I did it because even though it was killing me internally, Ladybug was bearing the same burden! It was us against the world! I could endure it with her! I guess that was a lie too!"
Chat noir took a breath.
"Chatton..."
"Im not done." He snapped. His smile had vanished, showing a nasty snarl.
Ladybug felt herself step back. The ferocity of that statement triggered a long suppressed fear. Something she wished she would never see again. The reason why she didn't want him to find out her identity. She saw the anger of Chat Blanc.
Chat noir noticed the fear on ladybug's face, and the tears forming in her eyes. He had gone too far. His anger replaced with horror at what he had done.
"Wait... Ladybug... That was too far."
"No... you're right to be mad. I broke your trust. I forced you to agree to things you hated and then I broke the rule I set. I just... I couldn't take it. So I know I am being selfish to expect you to take it in stride. You don't deserve this. I would understand if you hate me and want to quit..."
Chat noir hugged her. Catching the red heroine off guard.
"This isn't your fault. Yes I'm mad. I am also hurt and feel betrayed... but I don't hate you."
"You don't?"
"I couldn't hate you Ladybug. Its not like I've been the perfect partner. I've screwed up too. But you still want me around right?" Chat noir answered.
"I don't think I could be ladybug without you."
Chat noir felt his emotions ease.
"And I couldn't be Chat noir without you."
He releases the hug.
They stood in silence for a few minutes. Both taking calming breaths. They wanted to ensure they were both able to continue talking without a potential akuma risk.
"So, you told someone because you needed someone to talk to because being the guardian along with other stuff was too much for you to handle quietly. " Chat noir asked calmly.
"Yes, that is what happened."
"It was better you told someone then just suffered alone. I wanted to be your support... but I understand that its dangerous right now if I know who you are and vice versa." Chat noir continued.
"I know its hard to accept..."
"No no, lets not try and ease it. I will accept it over time. I just want you to know that its okay that you did that. I want you to know that despite how much it hurt, I am glad you told me now. Finding this out... that might have hurt so much worse. It would have felt like nothing changed from back then."
Ladybug knew he was referring to how master fu had kept her from tell him about things. How he was left in the dark? She hated that period of her life.
"When this is over, when Hawkmoth is done. I swear we can reveal our identities to each other. We can even go catch a movie."
Chat noir smiled a bit.
"I would like that."
In the end, Chat noir was still hurt by this, but he knew how to take a bit of pain. He would move past it, he and Ladybug would still be partners. He still love her dearly. Nothing changed.
296 notes · View notes
dasomlimie · 3 years
Note
Heyyy! I hope ur doing okay if ur requests r open can l request reader asking if she can see whats under sanzu’s mask like that one scene in naruto where he tried so hard to see kakashi’s mask something similar and funny like that take ur time l love ur work <333
%% BEHIND THAT MASK! #!/
characters : aged up!—Sanzu Haruchiyo
a/n : i cant believe im rewrtiting this sorry if this is half assed tumblr didn't save my draft earlier, enjoy ig
Tumblr media
Sanzu Haruchiyo..... your masked bf sometimes you were wondering what behind that mask but ofc you wanted to respect his boundaries and dont want to make him uncomfortable, but curiousity start to eat you alive so you have a little plan in your mind
sometimes there's a lot of idea in your mind on why Sanzu didn't remove his mask, maybe he have big lips that unmatched with his face future? or maybe he have crooked teeth? or even worse he doesn't have mouth! but you scratched the last idea since how did he speak if he doesn't have mouth? his nose? yeah that idea once stuck in your head but you decided to remove it because it doesn't make sense at all
Tumblr media
you called Sanzu to meet you up infront of a restaurant which he agreed since maybe you were hungry and he is too, you greet Sanzu before taking his hand and walk into the restaurant with him
"today is my treat" you said smiling he raise an eyebrow you were cheerful more than usual "did something good happen?" he ask you shook his head "nope i just wanted to spend time with my lovely boyfriend" you said he nodded start looking at the menu
"are you ready to order?" he ask after a few minutes you nodded letting him call the waiter, you both said your order as the writer write down your order, you noticed Sanzu's order was a heavy meal he probably going to remove his mask
you smile to yourself before mentally patting yourself for coming up with this idea as soon as your food arrived you stare at Sanzu causing him to raise an eyebrow "whats up my love?" he ask you shook your head "nothing eat up" he nod "you too" you nod
you stare as he was about to remove his mask until your phone start ringing you look at the caller ID noticing it was your boss you look at Sanzu "eat first i have to answer this call" you said he nod as he watch your figure walking out from the restaurant
you listen to your boss rant about how her husband keep cancelling their date and how she think he was cheating on her while you were wondering why the hell your boss telling you all of this as she finally hang up you walk into the restaurant only to be greeted by Sanzu scrolling through his phone you blink
"oh baby! what took you too long? oh and im sorry i finished my food first i haven't eat since yesterday" he said giving you closed eyes smile you nod sitting "did you forgot to eat again?" you ask he nod "im very busy yesterday and just go to sleep as soon as i got home" he said you nod
attempt 1 : failed
"want some?" you ask offering your food he shook his head "im full already" he said you nodded visibly deflated "whats up pretty girl? you were all cheerful a while ago" he said chuckling you shook your head from side to side finding a reason and decided to use your boss phone call as your reason "she did it again" you said he pat your head
"did she start ranting to you again? what was is about?" he ask you sigh "about her husband this and that you know the usual why don't they just divorce?" you said leaning to your chair
"maybe you should find a new job if you were that sick of your boss personal life rant" he said you nodded "yeah i should" you said
Tumblr media
the second attempt might make him mad but what is life without a little thrill and spice right? right.
you took a deep breath before apologizing gripping the tray in your hand you walk inside the room smiling at Sanzu you walk toward him then purposely trip yourself
you watch everything happen in slow motion how the juice flew and wetting his mask you cheer silently before your face kiss the floor you groan but being muffled by your carpet Sanzu gasp ignoring his wet clothes and mask
"y/n?! are you okay? oh my why are you suddenly become clumsy?" he ask as he help you to get up you have to swallow your image its not even 6 month into your relationship here you are doing stupid things just to what behind his mask
he hiss when he saw your red forehead with a little bloody lips "we should get that lips treated" he suggest you nodded "let me put this away your hoodie was in my closet along with extra mask" you said silently before walking out from the room leaving a little space for you to peak in
you feel your cheeks heat up as you watch his half naked body you silently cheer as he was about to remove his mask when your doorbell rang causing you to curse silent
you keep debating either to look and discover what behind your boyfriend mask or to answer the door you were deep in thought when Sanzu clear his throat his cheeks tinted with rosy pink just like his hair
"i didn't know you're that type of person" he said clearing his throat again you look up before cursing yourself "oh no you got the wrong idea let me go and answer the door ok?" you said walking a little bit too faster "be careful!" Sanzu called as he look you who almost tripped twice
attempt 2 : failed
Tumblr media
you look at Sanzu as you keep following—more like stalking—him you tried to make sure you didn't lost him maybe he would remove his mask at the most random time especially when he's alone? yeah thats what you think ,you were now dressed in all black outfit paired with black cap and black mask
yup much like a stalker
you watch him keep turning and leading you to a dark hallways wondering what he was doing here, little did you know he noticed you following him but didn't have any idea it was his girlfriend
"fuck" you curse silently as you lost him you were about to take another turn when someone pull you to opposite turn you yelped both in suprise and pain when your back make a harsh contact to the cold and dirty wall you hiss from how strong someone's grip on your hands is
"who are you and why are you following me?" he ask you stay silent too scared to answer him, Sanzu chuckle "why are you all silent? acting all scared are we?" he said you shiver under his sharp gaze
"i ask you questions" he said you shut your eyes he sigh annoyed and start to loose his patients then decided to remove both your mask and cap you felt his grip on your hands loosening
"y/n?" he said in softer voice than earlier you still shut your eyes tightly slightly trembling "darling look at me" he said as one of hand slither to your waist while the other cup your cheeks thumb caressing your cheeks "open your eyes my love im not going to hurt you" he said you open your eyes slowly meeting his soften gaze
"why are you following me like that? i thought you were one of those people who tried to get me again" he said chuckling you didn't answer instead hugging him burying your face into his chest
"did i scare you that much?" he ask you shook your head as a no, you were actually embarassed of yourself for doing dumb thing to get him to remove his mask
"then why?" he ask hugging you close to him "im sorry" you said he raise an eyebrow "why?" "im sorry for doing dumb thing lately and following you like earlier" you said he chuckled you look up to him
"i get it now" he said removing you from him gently then cup your cheeks with both of his hands "you know you can just ask right?" you pout "i just dont want to make you feel uncomfortable" he shook his head
"you will never im actually waiting for you to ask me by yourself" he said you nodded "then can i uh you know" he nod letting you remove his mask
heart beating loudly Sanzu was prepared from any insult from you yet nothing came our from your mouth, does he freak you out? he was about to apologize when you whispered out a very unexpected word he expects you to say
"beautiful" you said he froze not believing what he just heard "what?" he ask for confirmation "i said beautiful" you repeat before caressing his scars with both of your thumb he sigh in relief
"really? i thought you were going to freaked out" he said you shook your head with confused face while your attention was still on his face "why would i?" you ask
"people always told me its disgusting i thought you would too but apparently not im relieved" you heart broke a little from his words "who the hell said your scars is disgusting?! let me beat them up" you said with determination he shook his head "its okay you were an absolute angel i cant imagine you beating people up" he said pressing a kiss on your forehead
"you look hotter without mask" you whisper he smile "is that so?" he ask you nodded then cover his face with his mask "and only me can see you my beautiful and handsome and hot boyfriend without his mask no one can see your full face they would fall for you" you said he chuckled before ruffling your hair
"whatever you say angel" he said you smile as he lead you out from the hallway just so your know he would use your silly attempt to tease you in the future
attempt 3 : successfully failed
Tumblr media
!%! © HNEULWH— i did not allow my work to be used or adapted in any form without my permission !#//
Tumblr media
200 notes · View notes
squishneedsahero · 3 years
Text
The Comfort of A Mother
Awesomest of Them All 2.0
Part 11 of 13
Word Count: 1558
Batman x Batmom!Reader
You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.
This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.
As soon as you and your family arrived back home Bruce dove head first into this case, sometimes going for a few days without talking to you more than once or twice. This was usually how things went when there was something big going on, and normally you'd make him pay attention to you at least one every few days. But this case felt different, you felt like he needed this time to work on this one. On top of that you were in the middle of editing another book you'd written so you were able to do something to keep yourself from feeling completely ignored.
It was for weeks on end that life went on like this, and you let it go on for a while, until you had almost finished with editing and noticed that it had been more than a few nights in a row that you had fallen asleep and woken up in bed alone. So tonight after three nights of sleeping alone, it reaches midnight and you make your way down to the cave, knowing your husband had been coming back for Damian to be able to get a reasonable amount of sleep because he had school on the morning, and you wait for him. When they finally arrive back home you're waiting for them, in your pajamas, leaning against the desk of the computer. You had already sent Tim up to bed and volunteered to take over while he got some sleep.
When they get home you give Damian a soft smile as you say, "Sleep well."
He nods in reply and makes his way to change before heading upstairs.
After he's gone you turn to face Bruce, "So, are you going to come to bed dressed like that, or would you like to change?" You cross your arms and give him a look to let him know you're serious about this. "Because as your wife I demand at least 16 hours of your full undivided attention, because it's been weeks."
"Alright, dear," with that he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to your bedroom, still fully dressed as Batman. Once you both make it upstairs he goes and changes into sweatpants and no shirt before coming and lying next to you where he sat you on the bed.
You can tell that he's tired since after he lies down he pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms and legs around you protectively and doesn't even say anything to you. "I love you," you state and give him a kiss before snuggling fully into him.
--^--^--
You wake up to Bruce running his hand through your hair, and you open your eyes to see his face in front of yours. "Hi, handsome," you say tiredly.
He smiles softly and gives you a kiss, "good morning beautiful."
You smile and roll over so you're lying on top of him, and glance at the clock. "Well, it looks like I still get another four hours of your attention." With that you look back at him and kiss him deeply, and her slides his hands up your shirt against your back, holding you as close as possible, just wanting to feel your body.
--^--^--
A few hours later as you're lying against his side and tracing your fingers on his chest, he says, "Honey, there's something I need to tell you."
You tilt your head just enough to look at his face, "yeah?"
"The first night I didn't come to bed. It was because we were finally able to track down the Redhood. And, well, I'm not sure how to say this any better, The Redhood is Jason. Jason is alive."
You can hardly believe what it is he's telling you, you're just frozen there staring at him until finally you get yourself to ask, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, thats why I've waited this long to tell you. I needed to be sure for you."
Tears form in your eyes, as you look at your husband. He was serious very often but you had rarely ever seen him this serious, the last time you'd seen this look on his face was as he said 'I do'. He kisses you gently, and you can hardly believe it, your baby who you thought you had lost for these few long years was alive. "Why, do I feel like there is something to this you haven't told me? There has to be a reason he hasn't come here."
"There is... I don't know yet how he came back but he did. He's still recovering his memory. And, he's not the same as he was when we lost him, he's killing people... and I confronted him about it," he looks almost ashamed as he says the last part.
"So, now he's mad at you?" you guess, and his slight nod is enough of an answer for you. "Thats alright, we just need patience. You saw what it took for Damian to even come this far, for Dick to finally come back to us. We'll figure it out, him being alive just means we have that chance again," with that you kiss him to let him know you're serious.
--^--^--
You and Bruce had been invited to the policeman's ball for the GCPD and Bruce wasn't able to come so you had gone for the both of you, ugh. The ball was over so you were heading out to your car that was in the parking garage. As you're walking you keep thinking you hear another set of footsteps. They're subtle and anyone who wasn't married to the most paranoid man in the world wouldn't think it was anything, but you did. You kept walking confidently, trying to figure out where it was they were coming from, since there was no one else out here right now since you were leaving early.
As you get to your car the lights in that part of the garage go out. You freeze not moving to unlock your car, just waiting for whoever it was that had been following you to make the first move. You might be wearing a fancy dress and be in heels but that doesn't mean you can't kick ass if you need too. The first move you make is pulling your heels off, giving yourself a weapon, and making it easier in case you needed to run.
Theres a shuffle behind you and you spin around, only to be facing who you could only assume was Redhood, judging by his choice of headgear. You stay still, waiting for him to make the first move, praying that if it really was Jason he'd say something. Slowly he raises his hands, showing they're empty, and removes his helmet, and a mask from under that. Your breath hitches when you see him, he was older, he looked tired, but there was no mistaking him, "Jason," it comes out barely audible.
"Hi, Mama," thats it. That's all he says.
You pause for a split second before dropping your shoes, and taking a step towards him, holding your arms open, asking if it's alright for you to hug him. He closes the rest of the gap as soon as he sees that. And as soon as he's in your arms thats when you break, thats when you start to sob. You both stand there hugging each other tightly, and as you do you can feel him shaking slightly, but you don't say anything, knowing he just needs to let it out.
Eventually both of you pull away slightly, and you look up at him, he'd gotten so tall, but that doesn't stop you from giving him a motherly kiss on the forehead and holding his cheeks so you can look in his eyes. "Can I ask what happened, or not right now?" You ask this quietly as you look at his eyes, they aren't blue anymore they're an eerie shade of green, and they look hurt, he has this deep pain behind them that isn't just going to go away over night.
"Not right now, please, I just wanted to see you."
"Thats alright, my Jay-bear."
He seems a little startled by the nickname, it had been years since you'd called him that, since anyone had.
"What?" You say raising an eyebrow, "you know you'll always be my little Jay-bear even if you are taller than me now. Is it alright if I tell Bruce I saw you, or would you rather I didn't?" You ask this without explaining why you'd even wonder this.
A small smile comes to his face and he hugs you tightly once again. "You can, it'll be better than him figuring it out himself," a pause before letting go, "I should probably get going... I'll see you around though right ma?"
"Of course you will, my phone number hasn't changed it you need anything. And I can keep a secret at least for a while, so don't go sending me your address, but if you tell me when and where we can meet up." With that you hug him one last time and watch as he puts his mask and helmet back on and he makes sure you get into your car safely and as you head home he heads off into the night.
277 notes · View notes
kashimos-hajime · 3 years
Text
no regrets (8/8) | r.b.
Tumblr media
summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.
WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k
a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh 
masterlist
crossposted on ao3 x
Tumblr media
Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.
I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.
What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.
You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.
Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care. 
I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.
Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.
im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I
Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.
I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.
Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.
I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up. 
Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time. 
I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that. 
wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.
Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.
Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.
My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.
I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but 
With love,
Rienr
You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.
You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.
They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.
“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.
“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms. 
“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”
“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”
“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”
Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.
When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.
You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.
Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone. 
“For your services to the Survey Corps.”
There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.
“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile. 
The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.
.
Distantly, he remembers flashes. 
Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.
How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.
He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.
How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.
When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.
“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”
Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted. 
Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.
Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.
The ring. You’re wearing it. You…
For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.
“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.
“So are you.” 
And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing. 
Maybe they are.
He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.
Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.
You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”
Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”
Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”
Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows. 
“Okay.”
When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it? 
It has to be. 
You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.
But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality. 
The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him. 
He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing. 
Why him?
As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.
“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”
“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”
And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.
Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.
Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.
Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.
And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.
“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”
The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.
“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”
And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.
.
Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.
There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up. 
Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.
Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks. 
For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.
Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.
.
Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field. 
It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.
Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.
He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.
“Eren… where are we?”
“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”
A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.
“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”
His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.
And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”
Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.
 Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.
“Marco! Sasha!”
Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.
He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—
“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.
Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.
I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop. 
Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—
You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.
Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.
He’s gone.
A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.
“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.
Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.” 
His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.
Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you. 
“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”
Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything. 
You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.
He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.
It’s over.
The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.
Just like he promised.
You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.
[THREE YEARS LATER]
Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing. 
Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner. 
How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.
And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.
Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.
But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.
Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach. 
Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.
Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.
You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.
Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.
“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.�� He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years. 
“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.
A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”
“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.
“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.
“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”
“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.
“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.
Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.
Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.
“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise. 
“To protect the both of us,” you explain.
“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”
You nod. “Listen to Levi.” 
“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”
This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.
As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.
And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.
“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.
So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.
Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.
Hope for the future, and all that.
She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.
“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”
“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”
“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”
You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.
Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.
“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.” 
Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off. 
You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.
If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.
You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.
Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.
“You guys okay?”
“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you. 
“I think it’s charming.”
She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head. 
“Soon may the Wellerman come…”
A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.
Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.
Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.
She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.
You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.
258 notes · View notes
Text
Melted Mask
awitchbravestheverge prompt: I don't know if you're still taking prompts but you are a master of hurt/comfort and would sell you my soul for some of that for Janus. Maybe where he's feeling insecure or like he's worn out his welcome post acceptance, or maybe a little touch starved, or both. Preferably with Virgil or Patton as the comforter, but if not thats ok. I just have a never-ending need for fic where people are soft and gentle with the snake boy, and I love everything you write with my whole heart
Thanks for the request, babe!
Read on Ao3
Pairings: DLAMPR, focus on anxceit and moceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide I don’t mind
Warnings: uhhh sympathetic deceit and remus
Word Count: 4804
 “How many masks of your own face are you currently wearing?”
 “At least four.”
Between the gloves, the cape, and the hat, there’s not an awful lot of Janus that is seen most of the time. Not that he particularly minds. There is a certain benefit that layers upon layers of clothing provides. One, they’re perfect for concealing his cane—the others always look so surprised when he summons it from nowhere. Two, he is Dark Side, thanks to Roman’s fantastic naming system. There is an aesthetic standard that must be met. What was he going to do, show up in some ratted old hoodie?
 Three, well—there is an awful lot to look at. If the others are focused on the clasps at his throat, the shock of the yellow gloves, the logo hidden under the black fabric, they’re not looking at him.
 If they were, they’d see his scales.
 He is the only side with a visible animal trait, after all. The scales cover the left side of his face, down beneath his collar. He doesn’t mind the stares—come on, it’s so easy to catch them off guard, how could he?—but sometimes he does wonder if they’ll ever get used to it.
  To him.
 The scales are a reminder. That he’s different. That he’s not like them. He’s not like the others, he doesn’t look like Thomas, at least not to the extent that they do. Thomas doesn’t have golden scales along the side of his face. Thomas doesn’t have a mouth that curves up along his cheek. Thomas doesn’t have a slit-eye pupil. No, no, Thomas is normal.
 How dreadful.
 Then, of course, there are the lies.
 ‘Deceit.’ Such a funny word. And so…polarizing.
 ‘Deceitful,’ ‘dishonest,’ ‘dastardly’—lot of ‘d’s, here, hmm?—all of the words that just mean he’s a liar. And lying must be bad, right? So it follows logically then, because we simply adore logic in this house, that he must be bad.
 He’s not to be trusted, he’s a liar. He’s not honest, he’s a liar. They have to double and triple-check everything he says because he’s a liar.
 They always conveniently seem to forget that you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. It’s the truthful ones you have to watch out for.
 Janus knows he’s a liar. Frankly, he’s quite proud of it. He’s gotten very good at it too; twisting the words together just right in order to tug slightly at a heartstring there, block off just a little rationality there, get the job done. The others always get caught up in his words, too busy focusing on the minutia of it, the details, leaving him free to step around them and speak to Thomas.
 They see the gloves, they see the scales, they see the lies.
 They see the masks.
 Oh, sometimes he’ll put on a little bit more of a show if he needs to make a point, if the normal masks aren’t quite enough to get Thomas to listen. He’ll tie a hoodie around his shoulders, push a pair of glasses up his nose, knot a tie around his neck. Problem is…those ones are a little easier to see through. No matter how hard he tries, all of his disguises end up being a self-portrait.
 Which is how he ended up here.
 “You know the rules,” Patton says, his hands on his hips, “no impersonating others outside of filming!”
 Janus rolls his eyes and idly flicks a speck of dirt off one of his gloves. “Oh, please. You don’t want me to do it during filming either.”
 “No, I don’t, but we made a compromise, kiddo, now we both have to stick to it.”
 Janus raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I’m sure the others will be relieved to hear so.”
 “What have we said about impersonations?”
 He sighs. “The others may be idiots—“
 “Oi!”
 “—but idiots are also deserving of respect,” Janus finishes, glancing at Virgil draped over the back of the couch. “And I would never dream of being anything less than perfectly respectful.”
 Virgil snorts. “What do you even get out of it anyway?” He sits up a little straighter. “Wait, you haven’t been tricking Roman into telling you how to impersonate us better, have you?”
 “Now why would I do that?”
 “Janus!”
 “What? Like you don’t make a habit of going to the others for advice.”
 “There’s a difference between openly asking for it and tricking them into giving it to you.”
 Janus levels a stare at him. “I suppose there is, isn’t there?”
 “Hey!” Patton steps between them. “That’s enough.”
 “Oh, well—“ Janus makes a show of resettling his cape—“if you say so.”
 Patton sighs. “Janus, we are trying, okay? You heard Thomas, you’re…well, you’re more welcome now.”
 “And you’re doing a marvelous job of that.”
 Patton doesn’t quite deflate, but it’s close. “Well, maybe we could all try a little harder.” He gives Janus a pointed look.
 “Yes, I’m sure my efforts will be richly rewarded.”
 “Well, you could start by showing up as yourself more often.”
 “Myself?” Janus gasps theatrically, putting a gloved hand to his scales. “Who’s that?”
 “Dude,” Virgil sniggers—Virgil did always appreciate his sense of humor—“how many masks of your own face are you currently wearing”
 “At least four.”
 Patton lets him go with another verbal slap on the wrist and Virgil flips him off. Janus sinks out, striding down the hallway near his room. It’s quieter here. The walls hum a little less. He can think.
 He hadn’t gone to Roman to gets tips on his acting. He’d gone because Roman doesn’t want to talk to Janus.
 Janus, the liar. Janus, the manipulator. Janus, the Dark Side.
 Janus shuts the door of his room and instinctively slumps, the cape hanging off his shoulders. He knows Patton means well, and Virgil’s…Virgil, but sometimes it stings a little more than it should. Not that the others will ever see it.
 He’ll never forget the look on Thomas’s face when Logan said he was the side that acts with the one priority of self-preservation. Of how it instantly demonized the idea of protecting yourself. Of Thomas keeping himself safe.
 He looks at his hands, sees the gloves. They still don’t fit quite right, even after all these years. He can’t get the seams to run down the sides of the fingers, not curve around to the front or the back. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Especially considering how much use he’s gotten out of them.
 Lying kept Thomas alive. It kept him safe. He helped keep Thomas safe. When Virgil couldn’t breathe, when Logan faltered, when Patton froze, Janus would quietly make his way over to Roman and whisper a suggestion. Just a suggestion. To lie. To keep Thomas safe. To get them out of here. And it saved them. So many times.
 Janus walks over to the mirror. It’s a fairly modest thing; about the size of a small sink, oval, large enough so he can see himself completely if he takes a few steps back. He ignores his own face and reaches for the golden latch on the side. He turns it.
 The cabinet swings open to reveal a dark velvet interior with several small podiums. Each has a thin mask laid atop it. They gleam in the low light of the room. Janus reaches out and carefully makes sure each is perfectly centered. As he does so, his gloves linger on the fine print beneath the podiums.
 Everyone has masks. Versions of themselves to present to the world when they need to. A mask that keeps you safe, a mask that keeps you alive, a mask that has the courage to speak when you don’t. The mask they wear around their homophobic relatives, the mask they wear when they need to make a phone call, the mask they wear when they need to pretend they’re something they’re not.
 Janus is very, very good at making masks.
 He never wears these. These are for Thomas. When Thomas needs help, Janus slips one of these out of the cabinet and sets it on the desk in front of the mirror. He looks at it, then at the mirror, and works. These masks are what helps Thomas.
 He shuts the cabinet with a decisive click, suddenly confronted with his own face.
Janus is so good at making masks that he doesn’t even need a mask to wear one.
 A mask because you’re the bad guy. A mask because you can never be trusted. A mask because when you try to be vulnerable they won’t listen. A mask because they don’t want you, they want the character that you embody to survive.
 He pities the others sometimes. They don’t have these masks and they hurt. They can’t distance themselves, pull away just a little more, embody a role so that when it’s over, when they’re safe again, they can take it off and breathe. But they don’t. So they just get hurt. Over and over and over.
 Janus’s lips involuntarily curl up into a snarl. The hand on the mirror closes into a fist.
 They’re not supposed to get hurt. That’s not how this is supposed to work.
 He’s not supposed to hurt them.
 Part of him argues that he has to. If he keeps working the way he’s been working he can get right to Thomas, who is who needs the most protection. If he tries to do it their way they risk Thomas getting hurt and Janus won’t have that.
 Part of him whispers that this is good for them. If he can make them a little tougher, help them get thicker skin, they’ll be safer. And then it won’t matter if they hate him. They’ll be safe. That’s all he cares about.
 The rest of him—
 …well, the rest of him is currently the reason he’s having trouble looking in the mirror right now.
 The problem with wearing so many masks is that it becomes harder and harder to figure what’s the mask and what’s not. And he’s gotten so good at making them that now…now he doesn’t have to think about it.
 A mask for when Logan asks to debate about philosophy. A mask for when Remus wants him to help him and Roman make something new. A mask for when Patton wants to bake. A mask for when Virgil comes to him for help.
 A mask for all of them. A mask for none of them.
 Janus doesn’t want to wear the masks all the time. He wants them to be warm, to care, to smile when he comes into the room, or even ask where he is. He wants to laugh as Patton smears batter all over his nose accidentally. He wants to listen to Logan ramble about some new advancement in quantum gravity. He wants Virgil to come plop down next to him while everyone else is in the living room. He wants Remus to stay with him while they watch the others get into ridiculous fights over board games. He wants Roman to not be afraid to come talk to him.
 He wants.
 Janus is selfish.
 But he isn’t stupid.
 He knows they don’t want him. He knows they don’t want him, even without the masks. Deep down, he knows they don’t need him either.
 But Thomas does.
 So here Janus will stay, in the dark, in the cold, wearing too many masks of his own face to keep count.
—————————————————————
The Mindscape is cold. It never quite feels solid. Drafts blow in and out of the walls, through the little gaps in the floor, from places that Janus can’t find, no matter how many times he looks for them. He bundles himself up in his cloak and his hat and does his best to hold still, sink in as much warmth as he can. He sneaks up behind the others, pressing himself up near them, purring in their ears, just to snatch their body heat. They always shove him away with flustered protests and blushy little faces. They’re so adorable.
 Plus, he knows that’s all he’s ever really going to get from them.
 But he’s cold, goddamnit. Why do they keep the air conditioning so high in this house? Snakes are cold-blooded. They get slow. Lethargic. Hypothermic, if it gets very bad.
 Janus can’t afford to be slow.
 So he wears his gloves, his cape, his hat. He stands opposite the window so he can get the most sunlight. He finds the patches of warmth where none of the others will find him and he can curl up for the warmth he needs...
 …and fine, maybe it’s a little more than just being cold.
 The others are…touchy. Patton throws his arm around just about everyone. Bumps his hip against theirs. Pats their shoulders, squeezes their hands, kisses their cheeks. Roman sweeps people into his arms, pulls them in for hugs, keeps an arm around their waists for as long as he’s allowed. Remus can and will just tackle whoever he wants. Logan holds himself a little further away, but even he’ll lay a comforting hand on someone’s arm. Janus will admit he was shocked when Virgil started exhibiting spider characteristics. That Side is a cat and you will not convince him otherwise. And everyone knows if a cat falls asleep on you, you’re not allowed to move until it wakes up.
 Not that Virgil has fallen asleep on him recently.
 Janus is not too proud to admit that at first, he didn’t want their touches. He had a job to do, he didn’t need to be distracted. But now…now he does.
 He sees the way they move around each other and it stings. The accidental brushes he gets from standing too close or when they aren’t thinking about it sear through layers and layers of clothing to burn into his skin. When he stays close to them—close, but not too close—his whole side begins to tingle, reaching for them, their warmth, for them. But now it’s too late. His mask is already firmly in place and they know Deceit hates being touched.
 That’s another reason for the layers. For the gloves.
 Janus knows that if they ever touch him directly, skin to skin, his mask will shatter. And that is too dangerous to risk. With his gloves, his cape, his hat, his masks, the only way that would happen is if one of them tried to touch his face.
 And that is certainly very likely indeed.
 The clothes give him a barrier. A last line of defense. No touch is better than unexpected touch.
 But that doesn’t stop him from being cold.
 He can tell it’s going to happen when he can’t quite close his fingers around the end of his staff in the middle of their conversation. His gloves don’t catch on the wood quite right and he has to fumble to grab it properly. He glances up. No one’s looking at him.
  Are they ever?
 He tucks his hands smoothly out of sight, frantically burrowing them into his cloak to see if they’ll warm up. He locks his knees. No good. His fingers start to hurt as he flexes them. They’re still not moving faster. It’s cold.
 He glances at the clock. Two minutes. He can last two minutes. Or so he thinks, until his jaw starts to clench. He clenches it harder, ignoring the protest from his neck, his shoulders, trying to make it stop. He takes a deep slow breath and tries to relax, to stop his muscles from tensing. It works, barely.
 One minute.
 His hands aren’t responding properly. He can barely move his fingers. He just needs to get out of here. If he gets out of here he can get warm. He has his electric blanket, he has everything he needs. He just needs to leave.
 Thirty seconds.
 The conversation draws to a close and Janus nods deeply, tossing one last barb over his shoulder as he sinks out, only to collapse in the hallway as soon as he does. A draft flows out right next to his shoulder, freezing fingers dancing up his arm, along the back of his neck, diving into his collar to snatch more of his warmth. He curses, heaves himself to his feet, and makes it to his room. It’s so cold.
 Something tugs in his chest. No, no—!
 “I suppose there must be a good reason for summoning me back,” Janus drawls, snapping his gloves right back into place as he appears in the living room.
 Patton and Virgil stare back at him. Patton fidgets with his hands. “W-well, we, uh, I had a question for you.”
 Damn. “Well.” Janus spreads his arms, trying to play off how slow he’s moving for dramatic effect. “I’m here. Ask away.”
 “I, uh, a few days ago you mentioned that you didn’t feel as welcome here.” Patton looks at him with such an expression of sincerity that it makes Janus’s tongue itch. “And I wanted to know what I could do to help.”
 “Aren’t you sweet?”
 Patton won’t be deterred, it seems. He stares at Janus, resolute as ever. It’s so cold in here he’s going to start slurring in a moment.
 “Janus?”
 “That is my name, yes.”
 “Are you…are you feeling alright?”
 Janus gestures to himself, movements growing slower by the second. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”
 Slow. Too slow.
 Patton frowns. He gives him a look. “You don’t seem like you normally are, are you sure?”
 “I am entirely in one piece.”
 “That doesn’t answer my question.”
 “Honey, if you’re looking for a straight answer, I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong place.”
 Virgil moves. Right, Virgil was here too. Janus is slow. Too slow. He can’t move. He can’t get away. His mask forms a bored expression on his face, quirking an eyebrow. Virgil approaches him and holds out a hand. A cold part of Janus’s chest leaps.
 The lips of the mask part. “And what exactly do you intend to do with that?”
 “This,” Virgil mutters, and cups the side of Janus’s face.
 Everything stops.
 Distantly, he feels Virgil’s hand leave his face. Hears something about being too cold. Sees a blur of blue rush away. But all he can focus on is—
  Warm. Virgil touched you. Warm. Warm. So warm. Keep the mask on. Don’t let the mask slip. Warm. If the mask slips everything will be ruined. Warm. Don’t you remember how to take the mask off? Virgil. Patton. Warm.
 “Janus? Janus!”
 Janus blinks. Virgil is still standing in front of him. There’s a little wrinkle between his brows. The mask is frozen in place, iced into a neutral expression.
 “Hey,” Virgil says quietly, “you’re freezing, bud. You gotta get warm.”
 Janus can’t speak. The mask is so cold.
 “You remember what happens when you get too cold,” Virgil continues, taking a step closer. Janus can’t move. Virgil’s frown deepens and he tilts his head. “What’s going on, Janus, you don’t normally let it get this bad.”
  Yes, Virgil, we’re aware.
 “You could’ve asked, dude,” Virgil says, taking another step closer, a little exasperation mingling with the concern, “any of us.”
 The mask smirks. Barely. “Yes, because I’m sure everyone would be so willing to cuddle me so I could steal their body heat.”
 “You don’t know that.” The mask doesn’t move. Virgil glances over his shoulder. When he speaks next, his voice is lowered to a whisper.
 “You don’t have to keep that on right now, Jan,” he says quietly, “it’s okay. It’s just me. I know you. You can…you know. Emote and stuff.”
 Janus huffs a laugh. It’s weak. 
 “You ever wear a mask so long you forget how to take it off?”
 Vigil pauses. “Huh?”
 “Ever pretended to be something for so long you forget which is real and which isn’t?” Janus’s smile turns sad. “Made yourself believe it too?”
 Virgil’s eyes close for a second. When he opens them, the concern in his gaze takes the last of the warm breath from Janus’s lungs. “Does this have anything to do with…?” He waves in Janus’s direction.
 Janus nods, slowly, so slowly. “I can’t. Because I’ve been…I’ve been trained out of it. I built my masks to hide behind. And now I can’t take them off.”
 “And we haven’t been good about helping you do that, huh.” He sounds so tired. He’s been through so much…
 “I’m…”
 The mask won’t let him apologize.
  Like they would ever accept it.
 “No, no,” Virgil says, “don’t apologize. You aren’t to blame for what you’ve been put through.”
  Oh, Virgil…
 Virgil glances over his shoulder. Then he shakes his head. “Just…look, go.”
 “What?”
 “I know this isn’t the time to talk about stuff. You’re not in any sort of shape to do that and Patton will understand. Go get warm.” He gives Janus a pointed look. “You take care of yourself first, okay?”
 He tries. He goes back to his room and buries himself in blankets, in pillows, in more layers than he can stand. The pressure is good but it’s still so cold. The weight of the electric blanket is nothing compared to the warmth of Virgil’s hand. Everything in here smells sterile, clinical, detached. It’s all so cold.
  You take care of yourself.
 The last sentence rings through his head late at night. He wants. But everyone’s probably asleep by now, and god knows they need to sleep. Surely it’ll be alright if he just goes to the living room? That’s not too far, right?
 There’s a fire going in the fireplace—since when did they have a fireplace? And there’s someone sitting on the couch. Hmm. Maybe if…if he’s quiet, if he doesn’t make too much noise, he can slip in and soak up some of the warmth. 
 Virgil turns around.
 “Hey, Janus,” he murmurs, standing, and comes over to him. “Can’t sleep?”
 Janus shakes his head. It’s warm in here, but he’s still cold. Virgil can see that, apparently.
 “Here,” he says, handing him a cup of tea that appeared out of thin air, “drink. It’ll warm you up.”
 Janus takes it cautiously. Isn’t it Virgil’s? There’s no way Virgil would’ve know Janus was coming…right?
 “This is my third one, figure I should let you catch up first.”
 He gestures to the couch, an encouraging smile on his lips.
 “Sit. C’mon”
 Janus does, sinking into the plush couch and cradling the warm mug in his hands. The couch groans as Virgil sits next to him. He can feel Virgil just out of reach, just there…
 “I like watching the fire,” comes a low voice from next to him as he sips the tea. “Helps me think. Or stop thinking.”
 He keeps talking in that low voice and the warm tea flows through Janus, sapping the cold slowly away from his body.
 Distantly, he feels someone steering him down onto the couch, and heavy arms around him.
 “Or maybe you just need a cuddle. Go to sleep, Janus.”
—————————————————————
 “ — stop twitching, Remus! You’ll make a mistake!”
 “Stop tugging his arm all over the place and then you won’t.”
 “Will you two pipe the fuck down? You’re gonna wake him up.”
 “Says the loudmouth!”
 “Roman, stop it.”
 “Stop moving his arm!”
 What is…? He’s lying on something. It’s warm, really warm. It smells like…coffee, makeup, and…cinnamon? He shifts slightly, and oh he slept on his neck wrong. A low groan escapes his throat.
 His pillow stiffens. “Shit. He’s awake.”
 “Good going, Remus.”
 “You were the one yelling!”
 “Shut the fuck up, both of you.” The chest underneath him vibrates. “Shh, snake-face, go back to sleep. You’re alright. Go back to sleep.”
 Janus shifts again, trying to look around, but he’s held down by another strong arm. A hand cards itself through his hair—where’s his hat? “Shh, be still, buddy, you’re okay. Can’t we get you back to sleep?”
 “What…’s going on?” His tongue feels heavy, swelling up in his mouth.
 “I believe the chances of getting him back to sleep will increase if you tell him what you’re doing.”
 It’s…Logan? He appears, fuzzy but definitely there, over the back of the couch. Janus tries to turn to make it easier to see him but his right arm is pinned and he can’t move—
 “Easy, J, easy, shh, shh, you’re okay, you’re safe, just keep your arm nice and still, okay?” Virgil, it’s Virgil he’s lying on, runs his hand through his hair again. “I’m pretty sure Roman would pitch a fit.”
 “Hah.” Roman snorts from somewhere close to the ground. “If this got ruined, yours would be too.”
 “If you hadn’t insisted on going last,” Remus says, “this wouldn’t’ve been an issue.”
 And then he feels it. Something is drawn sharply across his right wrist.
 “Shh, shh, Janus, breathe, breathe, you’re okay, damnit, Princey, stop! You’re making him freak out!”
 It’s gone, the contact is gone. His arm is still hanging over the edge of the couch but it’s held there by Virgil’s arm and another hand.
 “Hey there, Snakey.” Remus appears over Virgil’s shoulder. “You’re okay. We’re just making sure you’re okay.”
 Roman snorts. “There’s something wrong with how you phrased that.”
 Then suddenly Patton appears out of nowhere and doesn’t surprise him at all. Luckily, or unluckily, Janus is far too exhausted and disoriented to react more than rucking up the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie a little. Patton looks at the couch.
 “There isn’t room, Pop-star,” Virgil says, lazily stretching so his bulk takes up all of it, moving slow enough so Janus isn’t jostled too much. Then Virgil yelps and their lower bodies are lifted and he can feel the couch sag under another body.
 “What the hell, Pat.”
 “Now there’s room.” Patton reaches up and ruffles Virgil’s hair.
 There are so many people and it’s warm but why are they all here? Did he miss something? Does he need to leave?
 “Looks good,” Patton says, interrupting his train of thought, “it’s coming along well.”
 Logan clears his throat. “Would someone like to inform Janus about what exactly ‘this’ is?”
 “Oh, right, sorry, Snakey,” Remus says, crouching back down, “let’s show you.”
 Virgil turns over slowly, lifting his arm and using the leverage to shift Janus onto his chest. “Jeez, Janus, you’re light. Patton, have we been feeding him enough?”
 “I suspect there’s been a lack of communication, kiddo.”
 “Now is not the time to yell at him, Patton,” Logan says quietly.
 “I’m not yelling! But yes, now is not the time.”
 Virgil coaxes his head to one side, and Roman lifts his arm by the back of his hand.
 Janus’s mouth drops open.
 There are little animals drawn on his right arm, from his wrist to his elbow. There’s a navy cat, simple and clean, near the vein. A light blue frog with little glasses. A purple and black spider. A green octopus with large black tentacles. And an unfinished red dragon right near his wrist.
 “If I could finish,” Roman asks softly.
 “Alright, calm down, here.” Remus lowers his arm and holds it steady. Roman puts the brush back to his arm and starts painting again. Virgil and Remus start arguing about something, probably, but he can’t focus on anything besides the soft bristles of the brush on his arm, the rumble of Virgil’s chest, and the warmth of the weight on his legs.
 Logan stands behind his head. “You don’t need to wear a mask here, Janus,” he says softly, “not unless you want to.”
 No one else hears him except for Patton. He gives Janus’s leg a squeeze.
 It’s warm. It’s so warm.
 He wants to watch as Roman paints the dragon but he’s tired but he doesn’t want to sleep yet…not just yet.
 Patton reaches towards his face. His finger lands on his forehead and drags gently down the bridge of his nose.
 What…?
 Oh.
 As he follows his touch, Janus’s eyes drift closed.
 It’s so warm.
 And a warm hand on his cheek wipes the last of the mask away.
General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thefingergunsgirl @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @such-a-dumbass
If you would like to be added/taken off the taglist please let me know ^_^
542 notes · View notes