#Ramble ramble

[teaboot]

Guys guys guys guys guys GUESS WHAT

I started a new medication that was supposed to help with my insomnia- Doc said side effects included difficulty waking up and drowsiness during the day, but I figured, fuck, I have major depression and chronic fatigue, I already live like that, what do I have to lose, right?

So I ran a couple days to test it out, and I still wake up in the night, still sometimes get up and can't sleep, BUT. BUT??

I'M NOT CONSTANTLY TIRED ANYMORE??

I wake up naturally after about 9 hours without an alarm! I consider staying in bed longer but I get restless and need to get up! I don't get foggy and detached and disoriented after a couple hours at work! I HAVE ENERGY TO DO THINGS AFTER WORK??

Yesterday I came home after bad sleep and a longest boring shift and I CLEANED MY KITCHEN, SWEPT THE FLOORS, AND INVITED MY SIBLINGS OVER FOR A MOVIE. I made GUACAMOLE. Then I had a BATH and TOOK MY MEDS.

A week ago, the past twenty-odd years of my life consisted of waking up, fighting myself not to go back to sleep, sometimes failing and sleeping for fifteen hours solid, going going school or work, then coming home and immediately after eating, going back to sleep. Cleaning was an effort, hobbies were an effort, waking up was an ordeal, staying awake was an ordeal, and every day consisted of waking up 30 minutes before work, shooting back a redbull, working, then eating a gas station sandwich and going back to bed. Sometimes engaging in a hobby on a good day, going to the gym when I could drag my carcass up out of guilt.

I'M AWAKE. I woke up ON MY OWN. BEFORE NOON??

I cannot explain how happy I am. This shit was supposed to stop me waking up every 30 minutes and then make me drowsy all day by accident. BUT INSTEAD I HAVE A LIFE NOW?? I'M DOING THINGS???

I bought groceries TWICE last week. I CLEANED MY BEDROOM. I DID LAUNDRY

Vghfrhfdydstgfhjydguyj this probably isn't the place to be rambling but I'm genuinely so happy. This is how people on TV live. I didn't think it was real

#Ramble ramble #Yall can reblob if ya wanna idc #Shit is wild #I feel like a person

[slavhew]

charmed, i'm sure

#homestuck #hom3stuck #jake english #dirk strider #dirkjake #jakedirk #admin draws #fanart #thats what you get for shrimping bro. i told you about the shrimping #to anyone whos been around for a while you can tell im quite obviously obsessed with that pose. that specific way of hugging urself #dirk was never escaping that #i need to draw some janeroxy too it bangs sm and i need to balance out this sausage party ive had going on in my head for the last xyz #how long has it been. how many weeks since ive seen natural light. #whatever. #id keep this to post in a batch with other drawings but it did well on its own on twt so i might as well post it here as is #feel like batchposting several basically finished drawings doesnt do me much good anyways. better serves smaller sketches on the same theme #ramble ramble

[frikatilhi]

I have to write some of this down so I don't forget

Joker out at Kulttuuritalo 2.3.24

The boys seemed to be a bit baffled at soundcheck at first - as were we in the audience 😂 How are we supposed to be and act? Except when Bojan came and was so easy-going and put everyone at ease and high-fived/shook everyone's hand and put the Finland's son-in-law sash on and gave hugs and then said "excuse me, son-in-law coming through" and talked to us a lot, he really knows how to command a space

This has been all over the place, but they were rehearsing until midnight the day before because of technical issues with the sound program that Bojan could not explain because he doesn't understand any of it (that's okay Bojan, you can just sing and look pretty). Nace had been up until 4 am fixing it

they sang Vse Kar Vem and Dopamin (which wasn't on the set so they probably will change it up in different gigs) and it was a lot of fun! People shouted "Peliä!" to them when they were leaving and Bojan shouted it back. He also told us to have fun and "scream as loud as you can" ☠️

Bojan said he is in a chatty mood and is going to talk a lot today (I'm not sure he actually did talk more than usual? but it was nice to hear from him ❤️)

Hojan was on my bingo card but not quite like THAT. I love it that they wanted to include him somehow but do something different ❤️

BOJAN'S PÖTSI. It was out a lot, bless him. He does have a belly button! And a stomach mole, apparently? (Need more hi-res prof plis)

I have to mention Kris' cake even though we were on the under-18 side so I did not get to look as much as I would have wanted to. But today I'll be on the other side heh

I love Nace's hair and he is adorable so there

NEW SONGS I AM DEAD. Bojan seemed a bit nervous, he didn't look at the audience much? But he skipped and bounced and it was adorable. He said it was nerve-wrecking. But they were really happy afterward! (I kinda want to learn some bits of the lyrics so if they do them again today we could sing along)

Everybody's waiting was so amazing live, Bojan said how that made him the most nervous of all because "now *I* have to play that thing". But it was so so good and they were elated after it, seemed super relieved, like punching the air happy 😭

METULJI 💕 Bojan was very touched with all the butterflies, that was pretty, it was an amazing version

The back drop and the drum design were so beautiful!!!

It was so cool meeting moots, please if you're there today I would love to say hi

Jere with a big entourage there showing support, uhuhuu

The crowd on the floor was nice and let people go to get water and go to the bathroom and then come back. It was a long night to stand around ☠️ Kultsa is so nice in that front row is like a mile long so that probably helped.

#joker out #see you soon tour #ramble ramble #concert recap

[physticuffs]

i am so worried about how the statisticians know what they know and whether they're making it all up. i don't need to worry about this for basically any other branch of science/math. like, the aerospace engineers are obviously not making it up, because my phone works, so somebody got a satellite up there. the civil engineers are obviously not making it up, because i crossed a bridge this morning and it went fine. the chemists are obviously not making it up, because there are roughly a kajillion types of steel that get used for different things. the particle physicists--okay, they might've been making up everything since the bomb, but it basically wouldn't matter, we know they were at minimum not making it up when the most destructive existing technology was invented. the biologists are allergic to making things up, they are pretty open about the fact that they're mostly poking around and telling us what they find and they refuse to extrapolate. i almost wish they would make more stuff up so i could be comforted by the belief that somebody somewhere understands the immune system but biologists are cruel realists like that. the economists *are* making stuff up bc they don't have vacuums in economics, but everyone knows that so it's fine and they just have to go ahead and try stuff anyway.

the statisticians??? what are they up to??? how would we know if the statisticians were making stuff up? if my study "really" needed 200 participants and the statisticians said 100, how would i ever figure that out? how do they decide these things?

the thing is, i'm worried about the practical application of statistics. the number theorists might be making stuff up, and i also would have no way of knowing, but even if they are, i think they're probably just having fun and we should let them.

#ramble ramble #math #science #i'm way overtired so just running on vibes today #sorry if i'm misrepresenting your field but no i'm not

[raspberriesandstrawberries]

Lady Ysabella Theer

Based on the portrait of Bianca Maria Sforza, by Giovanni Ambrogio de Predis

#the golden rose #ysabella #my art #fanart #I've wanted to do this one for a while #Ysabella's profile is really wel suited to early renaissance betrothal portraits that are always in profile #not that Ysabella is betrothed as far as I know #but I maintain that based on the technology the golden rose has to be early renaissance at the earliest #and i will continue to use the fashions of the 1400s as my inspo #please tell me tumblr fucked up the image quality as much as it currently appears #the whole point of this one was to try to enjoy doing lots of detail work #it mostly didn't work #i found doing all those pearls absolutely painful #but i like how it turned out so tumblr better not have ruined it #ramble ramble #complain complain #etc etc #also don't ask what the deal is with the ... artichoke? towers? on her dress? #idk what that's about its just what's on the dress in the original painting

[nyannyanmew]

Dress up with Little Airi!!!!

She deserves to be called a cutie;;; headcanon thingy thingy under cut!!!

So so when Airi is little, one of her fave things to do is dress up!!! Not just her, but also her friends/cgs!!!

She's a very fashionable baby and like to put together outfits and accessories.

Likes dressing herself more if it's a stress-caused regression and if it's a happy regression, she'll wanna dress others more.

Most of the time it's just asking cgs what would be most cute on her (anything is cute on her!!!) But she gets really really happy if they help her dress up and do her hair

Also gets really excited if a cg or friend shows her a cute item for her to try out!!

That's all I can think of rn but yes!!! Little pretty girl airi deserves to be spoiled!!!

#ramble ramble #doodle doodle #agere #sfw agere #pjsekai agere #project sekai agere

[littlestpetgoth]

do you happen to have a discord server, or know of any good HS discord servers? i think itd be fun to meet other HS fans but idk where to look lol

when i first started posting online again i joined the mspfa server and posted to the art channel every now and then. my interactions with people were sparse but at the time i thought it was fun to have some social interaction with other mspa fans for the first time in my life. id consider joining it again but i haven't been feeling very sociable after i deactivated my old twitter so i dunno when i would try. i gained some traction there by sharing my oc verita, she was very popular and is the reason i got peoples' attentions. i remember someone even made a theme song for her and i thought it was sooo cool lol..

i think i must have gotten really lucky, during the time i was hyperactive(?) and posted a loot of art of her and requests of other peoples' characters with her, people really liked my fantroll designs so i got further attention from that.

i think people also liked my animations? idk. i gained like, 6k followers in a really quick period, at a time in my life where i was really unstable and was trying to strip myself of someone who plagues my thoughts. i deactivated that account and have since been really anti social lol.

i used to have one server that was pretty active, it was dumped on me by the person mentioned prior so i really resented it. eventually i couldn't take it anymore and deactivated the server on impulse..

ive since made a new server, it's kinda private and basically dead since i stopped checking in on it every day. i dont really have the energy i had earlier this year ive been pretty worn out and brain dead, but i feel a lot more relaxed at least. i mightt consider inviting new peopple to it? i haven't decided if i want to or not, it's just me moderating (and also ko but he's really only a mod to approve of people who send intros when im not available)

i feel lucky that the group of people i have in it are really nice and well behaved : ) maybe ill offer to invite people again. if you want to join to can dm me and ill check you out, see if i want you in..

sorry for the ramble im not really the best person to ask about this!! i really only have any friends in the homestuck community because people approached me first, although some were really unsavory individuals im still grateful for the opportunities i was given because of it.

#ask #ramble ramble

[deedra-posting]

It's ace week shout out to the walking ace flag that is Piers Pokémon. He's so silly goofy look at him

#colour picked ace flag by yours truly #pokemon #pokemon swsh #piers #piers pokemon #team yell #pokemon gym leader #asexual #ace week #ramble ramble

[natolesims]

Hi! I disappeared again for a little bit. I can explain :'D

a) I just started a small restoration business, and I'm the only employee. I am scared because it's way out of my comfort zone, but somehow it's starting to feel fulfilling! Please help me manifest nice and constant costumers, so far I stole two paintings from my grandpa to pretend I have work hafajagak

b) I started going to the gym! I feel healthy, but tired. Guess that happens when you've been a couch potato for two years now. But I'm in my much needed glow up era because I said so and I'm not quitting!

And c)

This happened :') I'm officially engaged now!

#ramble ramble #life update #ok no I didn't steal the paintings he let me restore them in my 1x1 micro atelier #hehe

[devilanon]

simon crying for the first time in front of his therapist, just silent tears, his hands trembling, knuckles white with how tight he’s clenching his fists. and this therapist offering him her hand, not looking pitying, not judging, just understanding, and he crushes her smaller hand in his until it blows over, till he stops shaking. when he gets home he cant stop thinking about how he wouldve liked to bury his face in the crook of her neck and cry for real, her hand on his back, voice muttering reassurances, and the worst part is he knows she would, even if it’s inappropriate, should he just ask. but he cant bring himself to do that. to ask

#ramble ramble

[naariel]

Sometimes my sketches are so refined and graceful, and other times it's... this.

le artiste

#im also a bit burnt out which doesnt help #torn between pouncing on the moments where i feel inspired and just Letting It Rest For a While #letting it (the brain) rest is important and honestly the best cure #but i also dont want to miss out on an inspired moment #though that moment can turn into a draining project #which is baaaad #we'll see #i got the sketches now anyway #not every sketch needs to become something either #its okay to just get an idea out and never think of it again #ramble ramble

[teaboot]

In my line of work, I stop people from doing something bad, and trust them not to do it again. And then they do, and I stop them, and trust them not to do it again. I watch them, I monitor them, but I give them a chance not to do it again. To make a better choice. And when they don't, I stop them again.

My coworkers think I'm gullible and naive. They say I haven't been doing this long enough yet, and that eventually, a day will come when I learn to hate people.

I don't hate people. I don't want to hate people. People make me tired, and sad, and disappointed, but I don't ever want to hate them for it.

And I think the reason is, I remember... not even making bad choices, or hurting anyone, but being in a place where everyone believed I was bad on purpose, and nobody wanted to give me the chance to prove otherwise. Because why take a muzzle off a mad dog? Why give it the opportunity to bite you like you know it will?

And I remember one day, very clearly, thinking, "nobody believes that I'm trying to be good, so I'm not even gonna try."

It was freeing. Exhilarating. And incredibly sad.

I don't want to hate anyone. I don't want to stop giving opportunities to do better. Not to jump in first on blind faith, but to creep in slowly, watch from a distance, and see what happens.

People I work with tell me that the people we deal with are animals.

I think that if you treat a person like an animal long enough, they'll become one.

#I've been awake since like 9am yesterday ignore me #Ramble ramble #Morose cause I'm tired #Bleh

[yaoiboypussy]

Why do some cis ‘TIRF’ act like shitting on trans men somehow makes them safe for trans women…?

Every cis ‘TIRF’ I’ve met who constantly posts about trans men being the same as cis men, manhood/masculinity being inherently evil, womenhood/femininity being inherently pure, etc. have always ended up being super transmisogynistic, and then they act surprised when trans women don’t feel safe around them.

Just saying ‘trans women are women’ doesn’t make you an ally. You have to deconstruct your bio-elitist ideas about gender.

#.txt #ramble ramble #trans #transgender #trans man #transmasc #transfem #trans women

[mahou-furbies]

I took super effective damage from the newest Otona Precure episode, but it had some fun stuff too. Namely that it spent like a third of the run time on the Cures ordering alcohol and getting drunk. Who okayed this at Toei? I'd love to know what kind of conversations happened to make this a reality. Granted this anime is aimed at an older audience, but Precure is still a very much children’s IP, and a big one at that too. Like can you imagine an official Disney tv show where a grown up Snow White gets drunk? Or a Pokemon one with Ash? This is simply amazing.

#otona precure #precure #ramble ramble #otona precure spoilers

[dustbon]

I'm this 👌🏻 close to start posting a new legacy I want to play so bad, but I want to be consistent with the current ones 🥹

#ramble ramble

[physticuffs]

oh no, that's a common misconception, actually bisexual means you are attracted to two genders per year and semisexual means you're attracted to a gender every other year.

#this sentence just popped into my head fully formed when someone said the phrase 'biannual conference' earlier so #ramble ramble