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rayveewrites · 2 years

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Who is Alice and What is Zloy: An Essay* on the Lore of Zlobert Experience

Aka I did not watch hours of Zloy videos and dig through his Tumblr to keep this information to myself.

*This will not be written in essay format. I have a visceral hatred toward structured writing. Thank you for your understanding.

Zloy is a dimension-jumper/worldhopper, which means he spends most of his time doing whatever he wants wherever he wants. Of course, Zloy was actually alive at one point, and he had trouble surviving in servers he wasn’t native to.

The solution? An exosuit! What exactly this damn thing is is a little unclear, but it is, presumably, pretty good at keeping the man alive, and most likely has an awful lot of robotic functions, or at least can be easily fitted with robotic functions.

So Zloy was doing his thing in some world or another when he ran into the ghost of a witch. Said witch’s ghost then proceeded to steal Zloy’s original body for reasons that are unclear to me but might have come up somewhere maybe? (Zloy for the love of god please tag your lore consistently I’m begging you-)

Zloy, now disembodied and watching a witch run around in his former body, then proceeded to possess the nearest humanoid creature, as one does. Said creature was, of course, a zombie, which was allergic to sunlight, as most zombies are. Being possessed by the ghost of a Player didn’t exactly change that little fact.

Fortunately(?), Zloy knew how to cure zombie villagers! And, consequently, how to look after his new zombie body: golden apples and weakness potions. Of course, those can only manage an actual zombie so much, and also his body was kinda decomposing, and part of Zloy’s brain was being exposed to the open air and the guy was just kinda miserable in general, so he made himself a helmet out of his available materials. (Gold. He made a gold helmet. It got stuck to his head pretty much immediately. Now he’s even more miserable).

So Zloy’s wandering the land, consuming weakness potions and golden apples, a helmet glued to his head that he’s waiting to break but also really doesn’t want to have break on him, and eventually it does, in fact, break, because gold is not a very practical metal to make your helmets out of.

Unfortunately, the helmet breaking does not change the fact that it is still, in fact, very much attached to Zloy’s head. The golden apples, meanwhile, finally start doing something useful, so Zloy is now a ghost possessing a zombie with chunks of gold helmet embedded beneath his skull that conveniently work as sunscreen.

(either the apples or the helmet also turned his eyes yellow at some point)

And things are looking up! Not only has Zloy brute-forced his new body into being a fully functional Player, but his newfound zombie nature means he’s compatible with worlds by default, because zombs are a Minecraft constant. He’s free to travel the universe and cause problems for everyone, including himself!

Eventually Zloy finds his way to a little server called Truly Bedrock, where the moon is in pieces before they even start and the inhabitants are every flavour of unhinged imaginable. Zloy, who has seen weirder things than a broken moon and is also very unhinged, was right at home!

…Until said home got blown up by a chunk of moon.

And then the rest of the moon.

Fortunately, the TBers are frankly impossible to kill, even if they get bits of moon dropped on their heads every season finale. They’re like extremely weird cockroaches (affectionate).

So welcome to Season Two! This is where things get really interesting.

Zloy starts the season off with a shop in their new shopping district called the All Store. The All Store’s function is that people can both sell common resources to it, and buy from it, ideally creating a shop that restocks itself.

Originally it starts out as a fairly traditional chests-and-signs shop, but after a while Zloy gets bored waiting for the server to update to 1.16 I guess, so he revamps the All Store with an awful lot of well-explained redstone.

Realizing he’s kinda created something that could tangentially count as an artificial intelligence, he dubs it Allistore (Alice for short), mostly for the pun.

He then takes a break to reinvent the TNT duper because those don’t work on Bedrock. His solution is ghasts. He also builds a bunch of pirate ships and giant skulls because Zloy. He ignores the current ongoing serverwide problem that is beacons causing nether corruption in the overworld, but so does the rest of the server so.

Eventually going back to the All Store, Zloy gets to work and expands it once again and kinda rants in the general direction of whoever’s been messing with the circuits.

He finds a dark oak sign saying ‘hi’ in one of the dispensers, renames it to ‘henlo’, and chucks it into Alice’s water stream (which is set up to never let items despawn, meaning it'll in there forever) as a stupid joke.

Then he goes off to design a vault! It has elder guardians, cobblestone generators, obsidian, the works. His plan is to convince his servermate Dadcraft73 to pay Zloy for the right to put his diamonds in said vault. Dadcraft agrees, so long as a) the diamonds are insured and b) Zloy stores his diamonds in there as well.

…So the diamonds get stolen like a week later.

Zloy’s put on trial, and the court is a kangaroo court, and nothing makes sense and a definitely-not-Foxy-person shows up at one point while Judge Foxy steps out of the room, but he ends up owing Dadcraft hundreds of diamonds he doesn’t have.

Zloy finishes his expansion of the All Store, and checks his accounting chest to find not the results of his test run, but a face saying hi dad. Here’s the sign you lost.

So it turns out Alice is, in fact, sentient. Somehow. Neither they nor Zloy are quite sure why.

(It’s at this point Zloy switches from using she/her to they/them pronouns for Alice. Canonically they’re fine with both. )

Zloy installs a shulker box swapper so Alice can talk more easily than messing with the accounting chest, and then Alice tells him to get his act together and reopen so they can maybe earn Dadcraft’s diamonds before Zloy gets locked in his own vault (which is a very effective prison).

Alice mail-orders a mech from Mr Beardstone, who has a mech shop for some reason, and Zloy realizes Alice can look after themself and doesn’t really need him anymore. He gives them the diamonds he managed to accumulate and goes off to lock himself in his vault-turned-prison for the remainder of the season.

Alice is, quite frankly, having none of this, so they scan the inner workings of the mech and combine that information with a scan of a thing named Chuck that showed up like once and…. Look, I dunno what that thing is either tbh. There's no context as far as I can tell.

Anyway, these scans come in useful when Alice uses them to get Zloy’s old exosuit working and operational and they finally have a player-sized body to work with, so it’s time to bust Zloy out of jail!

Alice basically tells him to get his act together and get mining, because apparently he hasn’t told anyone other than Lyarrah that his shop is a person, and they don’t particularly want to get repossessed.

Zloy does a lot of mining and gives Dadcraft a stupid amount of diamond ore arranged in the most obnoxious tree he can manage and that’s the end of that.

The TBers finally decide to do something about the ongoing beacon corruption, and JessieB comes in with news of an extremely big, extremely ominous nether portal that will spell the end of the server.

Naturally, the TBers go to investigate, and learn that the extremely big, extremely ominous nether portal will not, in fact, turn off. And then a giant magma cube came out and started destroying stuff.

While most of the TBers ran to upgrade and fire FoxyNoTail’s giant laser, Zloy and Beardstone split off to make a giant mech out of shops for Alice to pilot, and Alice fought the giant magma cube… at least until the laser destroyed both the mech and the magma cube.

The problem, as you might imagine, is that giant magma cubes tend to split into many, many, many smaller (large-size) magma cubes that are now swarming the entire server. The things are everywhere. There’s no escape.

Foxy figures that hey, they haven’t had the moon fall on them yet, may as well get it over with. He shoots the moon with the aforementioned laser, and everyone hauls tail into the very secure, apparently moon-proof vault/prison. Zloy doesn’t want to leave Alice to die, but Alice just kinda yells at him to get in the vault, they’ll be fine, they literally can’t die as long as the All Store still stands.

Zloy grabs part of Alice and goes, and then another chunk of moon lands on the TB server because these people really can’t go a season without that happening. It’s a wonder they have any moon left.

Speaking of which, the moon is suspiciously fine for Season 3. Not only is it in one piece, something that has not been the case for the server’s entire history, and also Alice shows up and starts acting really weirdly about halfway through the season (the thing Zloy grabbed turned out to just be a monitor).

Turns out Season 3 is a simulation run by Alice so the TBer’s brains don’t die while they heal from being squashed by the moon again. Unfortunately, Alice had to strip a lot of Zloy’s permissions to make this work, so even if they do pull everyone out, Zloy will be left without a functional body, and- no, stop offering yourself up as sacrifice you stupid zombie.

They break the server via the medium of maps, because maps in bedrock servers take up obscene amounts of data and completely destroy the file size. That’s not a TB-exclusive thing, that’s just a known problem with bedrock edition.

They get out, but Zloy’s body is, in fact, no longer functional, so Silent chops off his head and they take it with them. Zloy is fine, if rather grumpy from being stuck in Silent’s hotbar and unable to do anything except loudly judge Silent’s actions.

Eventually Silent gives up and gives Zloy to a random zombie he finds in a cliff, and Zloy, once equipped, is once again able to possess the zombie’s body and is capable of making that everyone’s problem, including his own.

Alice shows up eventually, names his overcomplicated autobrewer, and starts chilling in his hotel.

In short: Zloy is a ghost possessing a decapitated zombie head possessing a zombie. Alice is his offspring, an immortal AI/building who is able to use player-sized proxies to interact with people in a more traditional way. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#zloyxp #alice xp #truly bedrock smp #zloy lore #mcyt #rayvee actually writes #YES THIS IS ZLOY PROPAGANDA WHAT OF IT #man does n o t get enough love #go watch him he's really good #he's very much a jack-of-all-trades player #building and redstone and grinding and mob-wrangling #and he explains stuff in a very accessible way!#like with redstone he goes over what components do and how they work and possible alternate designs #or with building he talks about textures and how they work together and block palettes and his thought process and so on #don't let his accent dissuade you because once you get your ear in you too will appreciate the man and what he can do #and because his current main series is Bedrock edition he has to take a different angle to most players you might watch #he is also extremely entertaining #if you like the Recap's jokes #you'll like his #(because let's be real he writes most of those jokes fjvhjh)#anyway WATCH ZLOY #HE'S REALLY GOOD I PROMISE #(he also does little lore recaps of recent goings-on sometimes for newer viewers)#(and they are very fun also)

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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“So how did this even happen?” the stranger asked as they pulled some sort of odd device from seemingly nowhere. They held it up, and Pix blinked as a weird beam scanned him up and down.

“I… sort of drank a magic potion? By accident?”

“What kind?”

“Awkward, I think he said it was?”

“Okay, that’s weird. Awkward potions aren’t supposed to do anything.”

“So I’ve been told,” Pix said dryly, “Zloy said they were a base for other potions or something.”

“Yeah. They don’t do jack on their own, they’re just a base for other potions to come from. I guess it’d make sense that a Human couldn’t handle much magic in general, let alone undirected magic…”

“That’s what Zloy said, too,” he squinted slightly at his captor, “almost word-for-word.”

“Ha! That’s new. I learned a lot from him, though, so I guess I might use some of the same language. Didn’t imagine that’d translate to English, though.”

“He taught you potion brewing?”

“He taught me a lot of things. Potion-brewing was one of them. He wanted me to be able to manage ʖᔑ∷ʖ∷ᒷ∴ᔑ if she needed maintenance,” their head angled. “At least, that’s what he said. It was probably because he wanted to make sure I could make a Weakness potion if necessary.”

“Weakness?” Pix echoed curiously.

“Does pretty much what you’d expect it to. It’s part of managing Zloy’s… the closest word would be zombification. Managing that if it gets too far out of hand.”

“It can get out of hand?!”

“His control’s pretty good. Can I take a sample of your breath?”

“Uh, sure?”

“Don’t stick anything in his mouth and you’ll be fine, I imagine,” the stranger continued. “Like I said, his control's pretty good, and if he hasn’t eaten anyone yet he’s probably not going to. Unless the body gets stripped of safeguards and fried again, but if that happens we’ll probably have bigger problems. Don’t stick anything in his mouth and we’ll be golden.”

“What happens if I stick something in his mouth?”

“He’ll probably bite it automatically. Blood sample?”

“Why do you need a blood sample?”

“I want to see how deeply embedded the magic is in your body.”

“Oh, okay. That’s fine.”

***

Ren hefted his sword, not liking how out-of-practice he felt. Training opportunities had unfortunately been few and far between since he’d Respawned, since Zloy didn’t really have easy access to a place large, private and soundproof enough to really go at it.

The hole- which had water at the bottom- led to a hall. It was fairly simplistic, just carved out of the stone in a two-by-three, but it confirmed what Ren had feared- this was Player-made, and pretty recently, too.

What would a Player want with Pix? He was just… Human. He was perfectly lovely, of course, but to an outsider…

Zloy splashed down behind him, the flimsy illusion completely gone. They were doing this as themselves, Players to Player, and may the gods be kind to whoever had taken their friend from his home, because Ren sure wouldn’t.

“Which way?” the zombie asked, his tone terse. Zloy had his own sword and shield equipped.

“I’m not sure, dude,” Ren admitted.

“We’ll split up then. Yell if you find him,” Zloy’s eyes were starting to develop the film that indicated a zombie on the hunt. He’d stop at nothing to find his perceived prey; Ren had seen Cleo do exactly the same thing, and it was always terrifying to be on the receiving end.

Ren nodded, and started down one direction. He heard Zloy’s light footsteps as he went down the other.

#see? he's fine!#he's having perfectly normal interactions with his kidnapper #this is how normal people act :)#they're chilln!#they're havin a chat!#last player au au #rayvee actually writes

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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Ren’s head shot up.

He smelled blood.

Sure, it was only a little blood, but it was still blood and it was Human and gods only knew how frail they were. Pix was only Human, he couldn’t take much damage.

He started to run.

Pix blinked when Ren appeared in the doorway, ears flattened back and with a strange-looking sword in one hand. Pix distantly registered it as the weird ancient-made metal that had been dubbed darksteel despite not actually containing steel, and then Ren lunged at the robot and Pix scrambled out of the way because he really did not want to get cut on that thing, even by accident.

Despite the powerful blow on his captor’s exposed back, they took the blow surprisingly well and turned, seemingly unbothered by the hit. A sword appeared in their own hand, and the two started to fight.

Pix backed up about as much as he could, because the fight looked nasty and he wasn’t about to get caught in that. And also because he was pretty sure those two could both take much more of a beating than he could.

Ren’s sword struck the stranger’s shoulder, nearly severing their arm in the process. The sound of metal on metal rang in the air, and Ren winced- probably the sensitive dog ears.

They took the opening, headbutting Ren under the chin. Red glitter floated down from their injured arm, and the werewolf was visibly stunned.

There were no neat movements or clever tactics- it was just one on one, limbs all over the place. The stranger’s cloak was ripped off, revealing bright pink hair and hard, metallic skin.

Zloy took that moment to appear in the doorway, his teeth bared. His eyes were blank, and there was something about it that made Pix’s entire body scream at him to run that’s a predator on the hunt it will kill you run run RUN.

And then Zloy took one look at the scene before him, and those eyes almost slammed back to normal.

“Alice?!”

#we've FINALLY made it #MAN i dragged this thing out far longer than necessary #like absurdly so #we'll finish up with one last bit of exposition and then we're moving on!#I don't know where as of yet but we are moving!#rayvee actually writes #last player au au

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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New Cogs update! I apologise if the zalgo text is annoying, I did go a bit overboard.

In addition, my significantly older FNaF fic, Buried Gold, has had a double update! I have no idea if the people who followed me for this thing are still here, but if you are, uh... hi. Have some food. I'm sorry for neglecting you so long.

#rayvee actually writes #hermitcraft fanfic #fnaf fanfic

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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for the ask thing: botem playing keep away with impulses com while hes on the phone with skizz?

<Skizzleman> Hey dude.

<Skizzleman> Impy.

<ImpulseSV> Hey?

<Skizzleman> I’ve got a fun idea for the next N&S

<ImpulseSV> Oh? Do tell.

<Skizzleman> Well, I was thinking, y’know.

<ImpulseSV> dangerous.

<Skizzleman> Hey! Anyway, with 1.18 coming up soon

<Skizzleman> Maybe the next one could be on a snapshot?

<ImplulseSV> asdfecazxz

<Skizzleman> Dude? You okay?

<Skizzleman> Was that a yes or a no?

<ImpulseSV> What’s N&S?

<Skizzleman> …Naked and Scared? Hardcore challenge? Are you alright?

<ImpulseSV> Oh, the thing Impulse keeps disappearing off to every now and hen?

<Skizzleman> Who is this?

<ImpulseSV> Oh, I’m Pearl! I’m one of the new hermits :D

<Skizzleman> Nice to meet you!

<Skizzleman> Did you steal my buddy’s comm?

<ImpulseSV> Well.

<ImpulseSV> He should’ve known better than to text during a meeting.

<Skizzleman> So what are you doing right now then?

<ImpulseSV> cvbhjnbvcbgbhnjnhj

<Skizzleman> Pearl?

<ImpulseSV> Oh, hey, Skizzleman!

<ImpulseSV> Can I interest you in some copper?

<Skizzleman> …Hi, Scar.

<Skizzleman> How are you gonna get it across servers?

<ImpulseSV> I have my ways.

<ImpulseSV> Just trust me.

<Skizzleman> …If 3rd Life taught me one thing.

<Skizzleman> It’s that you cannot be trusted.

<ImpulseSV> Rude! I’ll have you know that this is top-quality copper.

<Skizzleman> …Sure, dude. I’m pretty sure you aren’t whitelisted on my personal world?

<ImpulseSV> Well, there’s one warhgjkgvchdgh

<ImpulseSV> sdgfh;gvjh ygh

<Skizzleman> Again?

<ImpulseSV> What’s going on?

<ImpulseSV> Oh, you were talking about your hardcore thing.

<Skizzleman> Is this Grian or Mumbo?

<ImpulseSV> Grian.

<Skizzleman> Cool. How’re you doing, dude?

<ImpulseSV> Oh, y’know.

<ImpulseSV> Sitting on the mast of Pearl’s starter house.

<ImpulseSV> Watching Impulse trying and failing to land on a one-block wide platform to get his comm back.

<ImpulseSV> Oh he made it! Shame his balance was so wonky.

<Skizzleman> You pushed him off, didn’t you?

<ImpulseSV> I would never!

<ImpulseSV> ANYWAY, while I have you here.

<ImpulseSV> Do you think you’re up for a second season of 3rd Life?

<ImpulseSV> I’m still hashing out the details rn. Might rename it, we’ll have to see.

<Skizzleman> Sure dude, sounds fun!

<Skizzleman> Give me the deets once you’ve worked them out?

<ImpulseSV> Great! I’ll DM you later

<ImpulseSV> dfcghbnkjlmjkbhjvghfcvh nb

<ImpulseSV> 8765rtfthhukiopl;/’;lkjhg

<Skizzleman> Again?

<ImpulseSV> 67y8uikj bvdzxhvm ‘’[87tf

<ImpulseSV> OKAY I GOT MY COMM BACK.

<ImpulseSV> Mumbo managed to butterfingers it into the boatem hole so it respawned on me.

<ImpulseSV> Snapshot N&S sounds interesting.

<Skizzleman> Wanna chat later then?

<ImpulseSV> …Yes.

<ImpulseSV> when my friends aren't playing keep-away with my comm

<ImpulseSV> stdrfyhgvhkjchfx

<ImpulseSV> How does anyone manage to lose their comm all the way out here?

<Skizzleman> Who’s got it this time?

<ImpulseSV> TFC

<Skizzleman> Nice to meet you!

#they're idiots your honor #grian grabbed it again and just BOLTED #there are no timestamps but it took a while after that last keysmash to be found again #ask game #rayvee actually writes #arrow awsome #hermitcraft #boatem #skizzleman

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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Okay, so you know all those posts going around about nonhermits seeing Hermit builds for the first time and just being (righteously) in awe of how impressive and detailed and enormous they are?

That's fun and all, but like. Imagine if the big builds were all that people knew about them.

Sure, people know of the hermits, at the very least, or at most they've played with them- in MCC, in Last Life, in other SMPs. And the hermits are friendly enough, especially because it's the social ones who leave the server to interact with nonhermits; but nonetheless, they don't know much about the server itself.

Oh, they've seen the World Downloads; they've explored past Seasons after the hermits themselves move on. So from their perspective, Hermitcraft must be a place filled with dedicated builders and redstoners and sure, there might be a little prankage on the side, but clearly they spend most of their time building and redstoning and so on. Right?

Say someone gets onto Hermitcraft, someone who isn't supposed to be there- pick a content creator, or a hermit!<insert name/s nere> au you like. Their whole life, they've only known hermits as these friendly-but-distant people dedicated to their respective crafts and capable of creating magnificent builds.

They are not prepared for the cults. Or the pranks. Or the really stupid wars. Or the fact that the moon's growing bigger. Or the eldrich cat.

They're unprepared for the petty infighting or the fact doomsday devices show up like every other week or that these famous, incredible creators are actually complete idiots.

#look I love these people but they have like four braincells between them and one of them got dropped into the Boatem Hole #someone give me this fic please #i just think it would be funny #rayvee actually writes #hermitcraft #mcyt

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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What, you think I wouldn't let such a huge milestone pass without doing anything?

It’s rare that the Hermitcraft Server is open to outsiders. But today is not a normal day. Ten years. Ten years of pushing the boundaries, of doing the unthinkable, to creating beauty within function and function within beauty. Ten years of people, coming and going, returning and arriving, torches passed and generations bridged. Ten years old and still going strong. Here’s to ten more.

#don't let the blurb deceive you it's just pure chaos #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft #rayvee actually writes #hc 10 years

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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“...So what happened to your eye then?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“What is the point?”

“That I fought a god and won. Do keep up.”

“Well, I don’t see how…” Lisa looked up as Doc and Alice entered the room, still bickering good-naturedly.

“What’s going on?”

“Doc won’t tell me what happened to his face,” Alice whined, collapsing dramatically on Lisa’s lap.

“Oh, good luck with that,” Impulse responded, “he hasn’t told us, either.”

“That reminds me, what does the bundle look like?” Pearl asked.

“It’s empty at the moment. Cleared it after, well… y’know. Still got the records. Unless you want to reset?”

“Yeah, reset. How high did Bdubs and Etho drive Doc’s?”

“Into the shulkers. For blocks.”

“Could Etho even afford…”

“Yeah, probably not. He was banking on the fact that we’d never find out, I imagine.”

Doc got a gleam in his eye, “if I can bankrupt Etho…”

“You’re not allowed to bet on yourself, Doc, we established that in Season Two!”

“You guys are betting?” Alice interrupted.

“On Doc’s eye? Yeah.”

“Why?”

Several hermits shrugged.

“Banter can get weird,” Grian said from where he was lying on the back of a couch.”

“And because it’s funny,” Zedaph added.

“And because it’s funny,” the winged man conceded.

“Mostly because it’s funny.”

“So the bundle’s empty right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Just Doc’s or all of them?”

“All of them. Like I said, I’ve got the records if we want to go from there.”

“I almost want to say that’s not as fun.”

“Restart for now, reassess once everyone’s back?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“So standard options?” Doc asked, flipping open a book he’d seemingly produced from nowhere. He held a feather quill, poised to write.

“You can’t run this either,” the creeper hybrid pouted.

“So… ‘did something stupid’, ‘blew himself up’, ‘got stabbed in the face’..what else?” Cleo asked, looking around.

“Burn wounds?”

“Right, burn wounds.”

“Pissed off a second, unrelated god.”

“Born with it, too proud to say otherwise.”

“Just decided to remove his eye to see if he could.”

“I’m pretty sure that last one falls under ‘did something stupid’, Pearl.”

“How come Etho can add weirdly specific options, but not me?”

“You never asked.”

“And also it’s Etho.”

“What currency do you use?” Lisa asked mischievously.

“What, you want in?” Cleo responded, an amused glint in her eye.

“I want to put something in on ‘his own stupid fault’, if that’s an option.”

“Hey!”

“I mean, that one’s kind of a given, but…”

“Cleo I swear to the gods-”

“We typically use diamonds, but our society’s built on more of a barter system, so we could figure something out.”

“Oh hell yeah.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!”

Lisa just started laughing.

#yeah I have this whole hc where they jokingly bet on stuff #like what happened to doc's eye #or whether etho's actually human or not #how cleo died #stuff like that #its all in good fun ofc #the bets on what was beneath X's helmet got pretty high #nobody expected to learn the answer so they just went nuts #start of Season 6 got pretty interesting #rayvee actually writes #last player au

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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“Pix, I’ve been having trouble with the printer, it keeps mangling- Pix?”

His friend was nowhere to be seen. Sure, he could have gone out to get groceries or whatever, but he generally locked his door when he wasn’t home.

“Pix?” he called again, taking a better look at the apartment. At first, everything seemed normal, but when Zloy took a closer look, he knew something was wrong.

There was broken glass on the floor, for one thing- what looked to be the remains of a drinking glass. Pix normally would’ve cleaned that up pretty quickly, because broken glass and Human fragility weren’t a great combination and the guy did have standards.

Everything else looked mostly normal, although Zloy did catch a whiff of some kind of chemical he vaguely recognized as chloroform. That stuff was mostly used to knock Humans unconscious, wasn’t it?

Zloy followed the scent trail to Pix’s bedroom window, where he found a few hints- signs of the glass being removed and replaced, a few scratches on the sill, and, most concerningly, a bootprint on the outer ledge.

Zombie noses were good, but Zloy knew he’d quickly lose the trail in the constant bombardment of scents London had to offer.

“Hey dude! What’s up?”

“Pix has been kidnapped.”

“…What?!”

“Well it looks like it, anyway! Someone came through the window. I’d guess it was a few hours ago? Maybe at night, question mark?”

“Oh man, that’s not good. Do you need help, dude?”

“Please?”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, man. Just hang on, okay?”

“Thanks, Ren.”

#based on my own printer!#which managed to mangle six sheets #jammed itself in the process #and was just a general nusiance #i don't even know how it pulled off some of the things it did #it was kinda impressive #(we got it working eventually)#oh an pix got kidnapped that's a thing now #NEW ARC POG!#i have never said 'pog' in my life can you tell #last player au au #rayvee actually writes

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rayveewrites · 2 years

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We’ve lived and died and laughed and cried and made it to the end

And on that tree in victory I see you stand, my friend

And as you sit among those leaves and watch as heartbeats cease

Know that it’s all over; you can at last feel peace

Red and green and in between; we danced this gruelling dance

Stand and fight or flee in fright we had to take that chance

And though you cannot hear us I can tell you this:

We will look back on this and we will joke and we will reminisce

Remember among the moon and stars that you are not alone

Remember before this all began we knew we’d die flesh and bone

I swear to you I've no regrets from when I met my end

So let this guilt just leave your soul; you’ll soon be on the mend

We’ve laughed and cried and danced and died; it’s time that we go home

But please remember each and every member; we are not alone

For though we live in worlds apart we’re under the same sky

None of us do feel regret so spread your wings and fly

And for now we’ve one last dance so high among the stars

The wispy ghosts can sing and laugh and we can see so far

And even once we all go home know this is not goodbye

But for now please take my hand and join us in the sky

But though it seems it’s all over remember this my friend:

For though we call it such a thing will never be the end

And as the blood is washed away I swear to you that we

Will live and die and laugh and cry again in Season Three

#what is it about last life that gives me a primal urge to write poetry?#I have no idea who's pov this is from but it's not Scott in any case #i swear...#rayvee rhymes #rayvee actually writes #Last life SMP #llsmp #Last life spoilers #not really but just in case

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rayveewrites · 2 years

Note

Who took Pixl in lpau au??? Im so invested hgfhgvjhv

Pix blinked groggily, trying to figure out where the hell he was and what had just happened. He seemed to be in a cell of some sort, with stark white walls and floor, a bed he was sitting on, some sort of strange light-tube-things running across the ceiling, and a camera in one corner.

Well. This was… probably concerning, if Pix was being honest. Had he seriously been kidnapped from his own apartment? Who had kidnapped him? He’d never actually seen them, just felt their powerful grip before they shoved chloroform under his nose and knocked him out.

Aside from some mild bruising, Pix seemed mostly unscathed, so at least there was that. He wondered if he could manage to break the camera. He didn’t seem to have much to work with, but maybe if he pushed the bed over he could reach it…

The blinking light by the camera indicated his captor was probably watching him, but nobody showed up to stop him as he slowly hauled the bed across the small room, or as he grabbed the camera itself and pulled down on it, letting his weight do most of the actual removal.

He heard movement behind him, and twisted to see that part of the wall had opened up, and a person- presumably his captor- was standing in the newly-created doorway.

They were cloaked, their face concealed, and clothing covered every other inch of skin- they even wore gloves. Pix also got the feeling they were staring at him, even if he couldn’t see their eyes.

“I hope you appreciate what a pain it was to hook that thing up,” they observed. Their voice was robotic, although it was in a filter-over-a-normal-voice way and not text-to-speech. A voice changer, maybe?

“You kidnapped me,” Pix said pointedly. The wires chose that particular moment to snap, sending him falling back onto the bed and floor. He whimpered as his head hit the ground.

“You’re in danger,” the hooded figure told him flatly, “this is for your own good.”

“In danger of what, exactly?”

“What, he didn’t tell you? You’re exhaling pure magic, Mr Riffs. That’s never a good sign. Generally, it’s an indicator for a rather unpleasant death, in fact.”

Pix blinked, “that’s what this is about? Because Zl- a friend of mine knows about it, and we’re keeping an eye on it, and it seems to be fine right now, but he knows what to do if anything-”

“And you trust Zloy? He’s made a lot of mistakes, you know.”

“I-” Pix wondered what mistakes they were talking about. Did they know Zloy personally? “I know Zloy can do some pretty dumb things, but I don’t feel he’d risk my life over something like this.”

“And if he’s wrong? If he’s made a miscalculation?”

“Well… I trust him more than I trust you.”

The head angled, “that’s fair. I did kidnap you.”

“Well, at least you’re honest about it.”

“Hmmm. Tried lying a few times, never went well. Don’t see much point lying to you, honestly. You’ll be dead in sixty years.”

“That’s comforting.”

“If the overload doesn’t kill you first.”

“...do you not recognize sarcasm?”

“Hey, you interrupted my sentence.”

“I guess I did. You mentioned Zloy had made a lot of mistakes. Do you know him, then?”

“Yeah. I did. Do. Whichever.”

“Whichever?”

The hooded figure shrugged, “Tense gets wonky when you’re around long enough. Haven’t seen him since the early 1700s, though. Idiot had to run off after Silent,” they went quiet for a moment.

“Thought he’d gotten himself permakilled until a few years ago,” they added, softly.

Pix fidgeted, unsure how to respond to that. This person clearly cared somewhat about Zloy, even if he didn’t know the exact connection. And the 1700s… were they Ancient too, then?

“How did you meet him?” he asked curiously.

“It’s… a long story. Can I check you over as I tell it?”

“I…Yeah, okay.”

#*waves hands vaguely in lieu of a proper answer*#WE'RE GETTING THERE I SWEAR #EVENTUALLY #MAYBE #ask #anonymous #rayvee actually writes #last player au au

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rayveewrites · 2 years

Note

the thought of people just going OMG IS THAT KAKASHI?!?!? while etho goes "wut" is just hilarious to me for no reason. I can imagine the weebs goin' nuts over irl Kakashi. Twitter is probably gonna explode when Etho get caugh on the camera, have fun explaining that twitter tag person -Milo / ( ._.)

At first, people honestly kinda assume he’s a cosplayer. I mean, that’s the obvious conclusion, right?

Sure, it’s weird, and the guy’s obviously pretty eccentric, but this is a small town, with one general store and a population of like maybe 200 people who all know each other and maybe three sealed roads while the rest’s all gravel and dirt. So sure, some random cosplayer is weird, but like. To each their own. If he’s gonna wear a bulky vest at midday in the middle of summer, that’s his problem. He’s not causing trouble, even if he and his friend look pretty lost, and you don’t recognize their language but you figure they’ll switch to English when they actually want to talk to someone.

Except… they don’t, really. The cosplayer’s companion, a big bearded man with a weird eye and dark clothing (again, summer) speaks to you, in that same weird language, and you tell him that if he can’t speak English, he’s not gonna have much luck around here (you’re pretty sure old Henry from down the road knows some German, but you’re also pretty sure these guys aren’t speaking German, so it doesn’t matter, does it?).

He just looks confused, and you repeat yourself, a bit slower this time. Still no understanding from him, so you sigh and continue on your way to the general store to pick up some cereal and detergent.

They’re still there on the way back.

#'you' in this case is a cranky old woman named Martha #shes killed someone before #as one does #she takes no shit #no. shit.#ask #anonymous #rayvee actually writes #last player au #this is last in the queue btw

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rayveewrites · 2 years

Note

Kinda forgot about the ones not in the forest oops.

Maybe we could hear a bit about beef and etho?

-🪐

You’re a little surprised to see Beardy and the cosplayer still hanging around, but you figure they can sort themselves out. Beardy tries to talk to you again, and while you don’t understand anything he says, you do hear your name in it. Huh. That’s odd. Where’d he learn that?

You take a better look at him. He’s definitely strong- actually, they both are, but Cosplayer’s muscle is the subtler kind that’s more for athletics than straight strength. He could climb a tree pretty easily, while Beardy is the one who could bring it down, so to speak.

His left eye is odd- instead of a white sclera, it’s yellow, and the pupil seems to be more catlike than human. But it’s whatever. You’ve seen weirder. It’s probably just a glass eye or contact lens or something.

It's a shame they can't speak english, really, because they’d be pretty good workers if they wanted to be. They’re not your problem, though, so after a while you leave them be.

“Miss Martha?”

It’s one of the kids from out of town- you don't know his name. He's Old Henry’s grandson, come to visit. Kids talk to you sometimes, and you don’t encourage it but you don’t dissuade them, either.

“Who were those people?”

You just shrug, “dunno. Don’t speak english. Not our problem, in any case.”

“Oh,” the child says, then: “d'you think they’re the people who’ve been hangn’ in the woods out back of Mr Peter’s place?”

“Could be. Could be unrelated. S’long as they don’t cause trouble I’m not too worried about it.”

“Oh, okay,” he wanders off, back to his own family, and you continue on your way.

The duo are gone as quietly as they appeared by late afternoon, when you’re heading down to the pub to see what’s up.

#Martha doesn't know what's going on but she's gonna ignore it #poor martha doesn't know there's no ignoring a call to adventure!#she's gonna be dragged into this kicking and biting most likely #ask #rayvee actually writes #last player au #uuuuh what's your anon tag #saturn anon #maybe? We'll go with that

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rayveewrites · 2 years

Text

A series of events in one of LPAUAU’s many paths.

Pix opens Zloy’s fridge, out of habit. They start a discussion about the stains on the middle shelf. Pix isn’t sure he wants to know.

Pix notices a bottle of what is either mineral water or carbonated vodka in the fridge door. He asks Zloy about it, who has no idea what he’s talking about. Pix assumes the former, because Occam’s Razor and also Zloy doesn’t tend to drink alcohol.

(Zloy can’t be affected by alcohol as a zombie and finds the taste horrendous, so he doesn’t bother)

Zloy says he can have some if he wants, he doesn’t really care, so Pix shrugs and pours himself a glass.

He notices it’s reflecting light weirdly and looks kinda shimmery, but doesn’t think much of it.

It’s not mineral water

It’s definitely not mineral water.

Pixlriffs did not, in fact, drink mineral water.

So now he’s on the floor with a terribly high temperature, coughing up glittery vapour.

Which is. Probably Not Good.

Zloy heard him fall, so he goes to check on him, and he’s not a doctor nor particularly knowledgeable of Human anatomy but even he can tell that when you start spitting sparkles, you should probably get checked.

(Plus Zombies can sense temperature, which is usually used for hunting their primarily warm-blooded prey, but is also activating Zloy’s alarm bells because Pix’s temperature is much higher than usual)

So funnily enough, Pix did not drink mineral water. Or carbonated vodka, for that matter.

No, that was an awkward potion. You know, the one that you have to make before you can make any of the other potions?

The one that’s full of magic but has no way to direct it?

Yeah. That one.

To a Player, that much magic is essentially a drop in a pond. You might notice it, but it’s perfectly fine.

To a Human, however? It’s more like a drop in a puddle the size of an ant

Zloy recognizes the signs of magical overload, at least once he gets his act together long enough to stop panicking, and then he starts panicking again.

Because like. The only way to deal with magical overload is for the individual to use that magic, and Pix is very much not experienced in magic whatsoever. Zloy’s not even sure if Pix believes in magic.

But. Uh. He better start believing quick.

So the advantage of potions is that the magic, once expelled, doesn’t come back… uh, usually.

So Zloy figures that one Pix gets it out, with a very minor, very simple spell, he’ll be fine!

(The spell winds up being a very, very small, weak illusion, because that’s what Zloy’s had the most practice with. Pix is pretty out of it, so he figures he won’t even remember)

And it works! The magic’s gone! Pix wakes up with a killer headache a few hours later and not much idea as to what happened.

Zloy makes him promise to not drink any weird liquids out of his fridge ever again.

A week later, in the middle of recording, Pix starts exhaling small wisps of glittery vapour. He doesn’t notice it. Zloy does.

Well, Пиздец.

#>:D #alcohol references #it never actually gets involved though #I have no idea if vodka is actually carbonizational but i think it's funnier that way #(vodka's the clear one right?)#And don't worry #Pix is fine #He's Fine :)#there is nothing to worry about #rayvee actually writes #last player au au

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