#Rebuke undead

[cinastre]

hmmm do i treachery or oathbreaker paladin for arke....

#ardyx.txt #i want that hellish rebuke but idk about the control undead channel divinity #🤔 #arkes so fun shes been in hell and is really mad about it

[thydungeongal]

Gonna demonstrate just how hilariously broken the Diplomacy skill is in D&D 3.5 by making a game legal level 6 character who is ready to go solve The Red Hand of Doom (a classic module from D&D 3.5 that in my opinion still largely holds up!)

Half-Elf for a +2 racial bonus on Diplomacy checks. The typing of that bonus is important, because you can't stack multiple bonuses of the same type. Untyped bonuses stack. (Dodge bonuses are a special exception.)

We'll start with Bard. Technically we could also use Factotum from Dungeonscape, but there's a Half-Elf Bard substitution level that allows us to switch out countersong for an ability that effectively allows us to cast calm emotions with a DC equal to our Diplomacy check, which is a fun trick to have.

Bard has all the skills that grant synergy bonuses to Diplomacy on their class list. At 1st level we will need at least the following skill ranks:

Bluff 4

Diplomacy 4

Knowledge (nobility and royalty) 4

Sense Motive 4

We will be multiclassing but since we have a level in Bard our maximum ranks will be as if we had all of those as our class skills. Synergy bonuses hit at 5 ranks, so while we want Diplomacy to be at maximum possible ranks, those three other skills don't need more than 5 ranks each.

For our feat we'll grab Negotiator for another untyped +2 bonus.

At level 1 our Diplomacy bonus is +8 (4 from ranks, +2 from half-elf, +2 from Negotiator) without taking into account our Charisma modifier. Pretty good, but we can do better. At this point it's good to mention that our character has to be Chaotic Good.

Our character then multiclasses into Warlock for two levels. Warlock has Bluff and Sense Motive as class skills, but sadly only 2+Int modifier skill ranks per level. Assuming a +0 Int mod we can at the very least get our Bluff and Sense Motive to 5 and our Diplomacy (we'll have to pay double for a single rank of Diplomacy while taking Warlock because it's not a Warlock class skill). That means that two of our Diplomacy synergies come into play for two untyped +2 bonuses. While our first least invocation choice is moot, the second one is important: at level 2 we'll be able to pick up beguiling influence.

You can invoke this ability to beguile and bewitch your foes. You gain a +6 bonus on Bluff, Diplomacy, and Intimidate checks for a period of 24 hours.

Just have that on forever from now on.

Also at level 3 we might as well pick up Skill Focus (Diplomacy) for one more untyped +3 bonus.

So, at level 3:

5 ranks, +2 from half-elf, +2 from Negotiator, +2 from Bluff synergy, +2 from Sense Motive synergy, +6 from beguiling influence, +3 from Skill Focus. +22 at level 3.

But we're not done yet: it's time our character found religion. Take a level of Cleric. Specifically the Cloistered Cleric variant from Unearthed Arcana (lower hit points, limited armor proficiencies, automatic access to Knowledge domain, higher skill points) as well as the No Turning variant from Dragon #353. The skill point boost allows us to get the missing rank of Knowledge (nobility and royalty) which is now a class skill for us, as well as maxing out Diplomacy to 7 ranks. The No Turning variant means we don't have the ability to turn undead, but in exchange we can pick up this thing:

EVANGELIST You travel far and wide, making showy public sermons and seeking converts to your religion. Level: 1st. Replaces: Turn or rebuke undead. Benefit: You gain a +2 bonus on diplomacy checks. An innate talent for magic grants you the following spell-like ability as a 1st-level caster: 2/day - comprehend languages. At 7th level, you gain the following spell-like ability as a 7th-level caster: 1/day - tongues.

As for our domains? Technically as a Cleric we can just be a non-denominational Cleric who gets their domains from belief. In addition to the Knowledge domain we gain automatically from being a Cloistered Cleric, let's pick up Joy and Mind.

JOY DOMAIN Granted Power: You gain a +4 sacred bonus on Diplomacy checks.

MIND DOMAIN Granted Powers: Gain a +2 bonus on Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive checks.

We're at level 4 now. Our Diplomacy is at 7 ranks. We have three +2 synergy bonuses, as well as a bunch of other bonuses from other sources. let's tally those up:

7 + 2 (half-elf) + 2 (Negotiator) + 6 (synergies) + 3 (Skill Focus) + 6 (beguiling influence) + 2 (evangelist) + 6 (domains). +34 at level 4.

For our final two dips we're going to pick up a level of Incarnate from the Magic of Incarnum (weird magic system that is all about making temporary magic items out of soul stuff?) and Binder from Tome of Magic. Both classes have Diplomacy as class skill so we get our ranks to 9, and this is the stuff we pick up:

Silvertongue Mask

The soulmeld draws on the souls of quick-witted and slick-tongued heroes, helping to guide the meldshaper in beguilement or negotiation. You shape incarnum into a silver-blue mask that you wear over your face. Your silvertongue mask grants you a +2 insight bonus on Bluff and Diplomacy checks. Essentia: Every point of essentia you invest in your silvertongue mask increases the insight bonus by 2.

At level 1 we're limited to binding only one essential into our mask, oh no. Well, that's still a +4 bonus for a single dip.

And finally we'll be making a deal with Naberius. I'll skip the text and show exactly what we'll pick up:

Silver Tongue: You can take 10 on Diplomacy and Bluff checks even if distracted or threatened. In addition, you can make a rushed Diplomacy check as a standard action and take no penalty. (Normally, a rushed Diplomacy check requires a full-round action and imposes a -10 penalty on the check.)

Tallying up all those final bonuses, at level 6 we have +40 to Diplomacy with no penalty for rushing the check. We can always elect to take 10 on a Diplomacy check. Let's look at the ol' Diplomacy chart.

Taking 10 and with a +40 bonus we simply can't not hit that DC of 50 to turn someone from Hostile to Helpful. (Remember, the DCs are flat.) We're set for Red Hand of Doom, Pacifist run.

#long post

[bara-izu]

I'm curious about Halion's lil flame between his horns. Is it something he can control or just an indicator of his mood? Or something completely else?

Halion's little flame consists of clensing radiant fire and is basically a mini 'holy rebuke', similar to how some teiflings have a 'hellish rebuke'. The flame is safe to the touch, except for if you're undead or a fiend (sorry Astarion / Mizora...)

It does respond to his feelings like a mood ring, usually just becoming bigger or more erratic if he experiences heightened emotions, kind of like Karlach :) it goes out when he sleeps/ knocked unconscious.

#bg3 tav #halion sunblaze #ask izu #astarion #gale of waterdeep #baldurs gate fanart

[teabreakpancakes]

omg okay so could you maybe write headcanons/a scenario for victor, naib, eli, and norton where the reader takes on a motherly role to the little girl? where she like adopts the reader as her mom! maybe a lil bit of robbie in there too if you want ^w^

The Traits Of A Mother Victor, Naib, Eli and Norton with a Motherly GN S/O

Genre: Fluff

𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐙

you handle kids so well, he thinks it's so charming

you're the entire package, you can even cook well !

it's funny because you, weirdly enough, fuss over the hunters as well

"Mr. Hastur! please stay for a while, you must be tired after your match, please have some of this stew that I made, I hope it's to your taste" you offered, pulling him by his sleeve towards the large couch made for hunters. The Eldritch god didn't dare oppose, knowing you only wished to aid him in feeling well. Though, he couldn't say the same for the survivors gawking at you, their faces said it all, 'You idiot! he can kill you with one swipe and you still decide to go near him?!?!'—admittedly, he found it odd as well, but it's not like you allowed any of them—yes, them to refuse.

everyone either sees you as wifey material, a parent figure, or an older sibling: he just thought you were a parent figure to most people

𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐁 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐑

he finds it endearing, yet amusing at the same time

you remind him of his mother when you fret over him and everyone else, except you're a version that came from heaven itself

he loves it when you cook for him

you cook a LOT for him, knowing his appetite

imagine seeing a survivor telling off a hunter because they didn't finish their food, rather bizarre don't you think? he won't say that out loud though

Naib stifled his laughter behind his closed fist, eyes fixated on the scene of you forcefully spoon-feeding Mary carrots. "I don't care if you were a high ranking noble previously or if you're older than me! that does not mean you are dismissed from eating vegetables just because you dislike them" you berated the hunter, handing her a cup of water. Mary hesitantly chewed the carrot, imaginary tears in the corners of her eyes as she fought the urge to throw up. "Don't worry, I'll give you your favourite dessert if you manage to finish your vegetables" you comforted, smiling at her.

everyone either sees you as wifey material, a parent figure, or an older sibling: mf just didn't care much abt you until you began to dote on him as well

𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊

he thinks it's lovely !

he rlly wants a family with you :((

his brainrot is finally having one with you

eli often assists you in caring for the kids, especially robbie; the hunter is a bit cheeky and hard to handle, similar to other kids his age

"Eli! hand me a towel, Robbie is dripping water all over the carpet!" you hollered, running around frantically in search for "Memory", the other child that so graciously decided to join the little undead boy in playing in rain. Eli could only smile fondly as he wrapped the towel around the hunter, "They're losing their head again" he joked, drawing out amused giggles from the hunter. Eli guided towel-clad Robbie towards the bathroom, looking back once more to see you carrying a towel-covered "Memory".

everyone either sees you as wifey material, a parent figure, or an older sibling—he "saw" you as his one and only

𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋

you're so sweet to kids and yet you nag him like his own mother

"¿Mi madre resucitó de entre los muertos?" (Did my mother rise from the dead?) Norton deadpanned, nearly regretting his decision of baiting the hunter away so his team would be able to open the exit gate. "You really need to be more careful, what if the dungeon hadn't been in the area—the hunter had detention for 50 more seconds!" you rebuked incessantly, Norton wished to tell you that he'd prefer to kite a hunter with detention just to hear you worry about him but he wished to be able to eat your cooking so he didn't proceed ^^;

he can't help but smile when he sees you take care of little girl or robbie

everyone either sees you as wifey material, a parent figure, or an older sibling—he thought his mother sent you to him as her replacement

#lawless.writes #idv.writing #idv x gn reader #idv x reader #identity v x reader #idv victor grantz x reader #idv victor x reader #idv naib x reader #idv mercenary x reader #idv eli clark x reader #idv postman x reader #idv seer x reader #idv norton x reader #idv prospector x reader #idv scenarios #idv fluff

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hi can you write a HC with Astarion and Blood Hunter Tav/Durge? I love your HC and look forward to it every time I read a new one

Blood Hunters are the monster to fight monsters. They use the profane blood magic to fight the most unspeakable creatures of the dark. Basically, the chance to play the edgiest character possible to freak out other D&D players.

Far from the judging eyes of society, blood hunters have mastered the secretive techniques of hemocraft, finding blood magic’s esoteric nature effective against evils that resist divine rebuke or arcane bindings. Through careful study and practice, blood hunters hone the rites of hemocraft into unique combat techniques, forfeiting a portion of their own health to call blood curses down upon their enemies or summon the elements to aid their strikes. Willing to suffer whatever it takes to achieve victory, these adept warriors have forged themselves into a potent force dedicated to protecting the innocent.

MORE INFO

Blood Hunter isn't an official D&D class and was created by Matt Mercer for Critical Role

TW: very angsty

Astarion x Blood Hunter!Tav

Masterlist

Headcanons

It's not like you aren't fond of the undead.

You hate them.

Ghosts, monsters, demons, name it yourself.

You are edgy as fuck and people usually assume you need psychological intervention because you cut your wrists to perform the rites.

You love being in pain and inflicting pain on others.

Many years ago you were sold to your Brothers and put through the Hunter's Bane.

Few survive the ritual, but you were one of them.

It changed you forever - your facial features, your eyes, your hair color, your body.

You don't admit it but you still mourn the life you could have lived if only your own parents hadn't given you to the brotherhood.

You draw your own blood to create curses. You cut your hands to create a Blood Dagger and kill your enemies with it.

To be able to use your cursed magic, you have to drink the most disgusting potions that ever existed.

And you hate monsters.

Period.

And let's say you aren't really fond of someone drinking your blood.

Besides, vampires are monsters, and everyone knows what to do with them.

But you are a practical person. You better have a vampire of your own.

Together you form a deadly couple. Your blood gives Astarion unique abilities.

But with time your alliance becomes something else.

You see him as a victim. A monster against his will.

There is a thought in your mind but you don't give it too much attention.

You ask Astarion to kill the spawns and let the siblings live.

You are the Blood Hunter. You know too well what it means to release 7000 deranged souls into the wild.

And you warn the siblings to keep a low profile. Or you will come after them.

Cruel? Yes. But who said Blood Hunters are good people?

You definitely aren't good.

Post-game, you know you have to return home. There are too many monsters to fight.

But there is one more thing you need to take care of.

Blood is always the answer. Blood is what makes this world exist.

You can ressurect Astarion. You can make him mortal.

You find the way but there is a price.

If Astarion becomes mortal, he has to join the brotherhood.

It means getting through the Hunter's Bane, which can kill him.

And which will change his appearance - not anything awful but he will look a bit different.

It's not a price you would like him to pay but it's up for Astarion to decide.

He refuses.

"I don't want to become anything else" He says.

You try to persuade him. You beg him. You use all the arguments.

Including the most painful one - if he refuses, you won't stay together.

But you know he won't change his mind.

Astarion cherishes his freedom. He won't lose it again. And he doesn't want to be in debt.

Maybe it's you who should forsake the hemocrafting? And abandon the Brotherhood?

And change your views on the world.

No, it won't work. You are too different.

Astarion leaves once the sun sets.

Now you have one more thing to mourn.

The love you could have got.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion bg3 #astarion headcanon #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #astarion x f!tav #tav x astarion #spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion x reader #dnd #baldurs gate astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion baldurs gate #astarion brainrot #astarion fanfic #astarion fanfiction #astarion fluff #astarion imagine #astarion x female reader #baldur's gate tav #dnd bloodhunter #critical role #blood hunter tav

[raeynbowboi]

Creating a Thematic Bard

Through Bardic Magical Secrets, any Bard can pick up any 6-8 spells of their choosing depending on their subclass. I thought I’d go through some thematic options for a Bard to choose from to cater to different themes and archetypes the Bard aspires to do. For each, I will offer the 8 spells I would recommend if you were to play as a Lore Bard, and if you pick a different subclass, just elimate two of the options.

HEAVENLY CHOIR 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Flame Strike, Destructive Wave 14th Holy Weapon, Summon Celestial 18th Divine Word, Holy Aura

THAT INFERNAL BARD 6th Hellish Rebuke, Summon Lesser Demons 10th Summon Greater Demon, Planar Binding 14th Summon Fiend, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise 18th Planar Ally, Shapechange

WOODLAND WOODWINDS 6th Spike Growth, Plant Growth 10th Grasping Vine, Wrath of Nature 14th Transport Via Plants, Wall of Thorns 18th Tree Stride, Guardian of Nature

NECRODANCER 6th Animate Dead, Summon Undead 10th Spirit of Death, Danse Macabre 14th Create Undead, Finger of Death 18th Negative Energy Flood, Antilife Shell

PYRODANCER 6th Scorching Ray, Fireball 10th Ashardalon’s Stride, Flame Strike 14th Immolation, Investiture of Flame 18th Fire Storm, Meteor Swarm

CRYODANCER 6th Ice Knife, Rime’s Binding Ice 10th Ice Storm, Cone of Cold 14th Investiture of Ice, Otiluke’s Freezing Sphere 18th Wall of Ice, Control Weather

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST 6th Tidal Wave, Wall of Water 10th Control Water, Maelstrom 14th Watery Sphere, Summon Elemental 18th Tsunami, Water Breathing

TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM 6th Thunder Step, Lightning Bolt 10th Control Winds, Storm Sphere 14th Chain Lightning, Investiture of Wind 18th Whirlwind, Storm of Vengeance

DOWN TO EARTH 6th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Erupting Earth 10th Stone Shape, Wall of Stone 14th Bones of the Earth, Move Earth 18th Investiture of Stone, Earthquake

A DANCE OF DRAGONS 6th Chromatic Orb, Dragon’s Breath 10th Elemental Bane, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Shapechange

BARDS GONE FEYWILD VOL VII 6th Summon Fey, Spirit Guardians 10th Conjure Woodland Beings, Healing Spirit 14th Heal, Conjure Fey 18th Mass Heal, Wish

FIND ME SUMMON TO LOVE 6th Conjure Animals, Summon Undead 10th Summon Aberration, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Summon Fiend, Summon Celestial 18th Summon Construct, Summon Elemental

ROCKY HORROR NIGHTMARE SHOW 6th Dissonant Whispers, Fear 10th Phantasmal Killer, Dream 14th Mental Prison, Feeblemind 18th Maddening Darkness, Weird

CLOAK AND DAGGER 6th  Counterspell, Pass Without Trace 10th Death Ward, Steel Wind Strike 14th Contingency, Simulacrum 18th Feeblemind, Foresight

NECROSIS 6th Inflict Wounds, Wither and Bloom 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Harm, Finger of Death 18th Abi’s Horrid Wilting, Destructive Wave

STEP THREE: PROPHET 6th Augury, Clairvoyance 10th Divination, Commune  14th True Seeing, Detect Thoughts 18th Astral Projection, Foresight

GLOWING REVIEWS 6th Blinding Smite, Spirit Guardians 10th Destructive Wave, Wall of Light 14th Sunbeam, Crown of Stars 18th Guiding Bolt, Sunburst

SIMPLY PSIONIC 6th Mind Spike, Tasha’s Mind Whip 10th Raulothim’s Psychic Lance, Telekinesis 14th Rary’s Telepathic Bond, Synaptic Static 18th Telepathy, Psychic Scream

SONG OF WAR 6th Hunter’s Mark, Spiritual Weapon  10th Staggering Smite, Steel Wind Strike (or) Swift Quiver 14th Holy Weapon, Blade Barrier 18th Conjure Volley, Blade of Disaster

SHIELD MASTER 6th Armor of Agathys, Shield 10th Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere, Wall of Force 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Globe of Invulnerability 18th Forecage, Invulnerability

MAGIC MIKE 6th Magic Missile, Glyph of Warding 10th Arcane Eye, Bigby’s Hand 14th Arcane Gate, Symbol 18th Demiplane, True Polymorph

SPELLBREAKER 6th Absorb Elements, Counterspell 10th Circle of Power, Synaptic static 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Forecage 18th Feeblemind, Antimagic Field

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Guardian of Faith, Bigby’s Hand 14th Mordenkainen’s Sword, Blade Barrier 18th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Blade of Disaster

TWO-FACED 6th Alter Self, Water Breathing 10th Guardian of Nature, Stoneskin 14th Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, Draconic Transformation 18th Animal Shapes, Shapechange MASTER OF ILLUSIONS 6th Blur, Pass Without Trace 10th Phantom Steed, Creation 14th Mental Prison, Nystul’s Magic Aura 18th Illusory Dragon, Weird

A DANCE WITH DEATH 6th Wither and Bloom, Vampiric Touch 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Contingency, Soul Cage 18th Clone, Invulnerability

MERCY MAIN 6th Aura of Vitality, Beacon of Hope 10th Aura of Purity, Aura of Life 14th Heal, Regenerate 18th Mass Heal, True Resurrection

PLAGUED BY GUILT 6th Hex, Bestow Curse 10th Vitriolic Sphere, Contagion 14th Eyebite, Harm 18th Feeblemind, Weird

BLUE EXORCIST 6th Counterspell, Remove Curse 10th Dispel Evil and Good, Banishing Smite 14th Forbiddance, Plane Shift 18th Forecage, Imprisonment

BARD EX MACHINA 6th Elemental Weapon, Tiny Servant 10th Fabricate, Creation 14th Animate Objects, Summon Construct 18th Mighty Fortress, Blade of Disaster

CONCLAVE OF THE HOUND DOG 6th Hunter’s Mark, Conjure Animals 10th Swift Quiver, Conjure Volley 14th Guardian of Nature, Dominate Beast 18th Animal Shapes, Insect Plague

OATH OF MERRIMENT 6th Blinding Smite, Crusader’s Mantle 10th Find Greater Steed, Destructive Wave 14th Staggering Smite, Banishing Smite 18th Circle of Power, Holy Weapon

 And of course, you can always mix and match. Going for a Fire Dragon theme? Mix the Pyrodancer and A Dance of Dragons spell lists. As an example:

LOVE AMONG THE DRAGONS 6th Dragon’s Breath, Fireball 10th Flame Strike, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Investiture of Flame, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Meteor Swarm

These are all the bard themes I could think of, but if you can think of some more that I missed, or have better suggestions for some of my choices, let me know your own thematic magical secrets builds. Obviously, these were made with the Lore Bard in mind, since it gets the most magical secrets, but I’m sure some synergize better with other bard types, such as Song of War with the College of Valor. I just used Lore as the default. How well do these magical secrets builds work for you?

#dungeons & dragons #Dungeons and Dragons #bard #bardic magical secrets #magical secrets #dnd bard #dnd 5e #fifth edition #5th edition #dnd #d&d #d&d 5e

[knaveofheartsad]

Queer Horror Fiction Podcast Recs

Today, I want, as always, to remind everyone that we're crowdfunding for the first season of Before The Tone.

But I would also like to recommend some other queer horror podcasts I enjoy!

I am defining queer horror as horror fiction with at least one queer character in the main cast.

- Jar Of Rebuke - Midwestern horror with a protagonist I adore, Dr. Jared Hel, who can regenerate after dying,

- Hello From The Hallowoods - Comforting apocalyptic horror coming to you via broadcast in dreams from your loyal host, Nikignik.

- The Sheridan Tapes - Mystery with supernatural elements. What would you do to save yourself? What would you give to save yourself? Who would you give to save yourself?

- Duggan Hill - An attempt to find her missing ex-girlfriend leads to more horror than could have been imagined.

- Modes Of Thought In Anterran Literature - This is a college lecture on Anterra, the oldest human civilization to have maybe never existed.

- Haunted House Flippers - Comedy horror! Tom and Janet move into an incredibly haunted house and Tom podcasts about it! Every character is a delight, from Janet and her mattress machete to the ever-suspicious Lee to Cilantro the undead cat!

(But do listen through "The Tour Guide" because Janet IS wonderful given time.)

- The Antique Shop - More supernatural fiction than horror with an aroace protag. Maya has just begun work at the increasingly strange and fate-tied Madam's Antique Shop.

- WOE.BEGONE - A gruesome game with a wonderfully unreliable narrator and increasing numbers of Mikes.

Go listen to all of them if you're at all a fan of queer horror.

And if you are, you may also enjoy Before The Tone, so help us out by supporting the Indiegogo for campaign-exclusive stickers, writing, artwork, & more.

Less than 3 weeks remain to raise $5,700!

#podcast recommendation #before the tone #woe.begone #hello from the hallowoods #jar of rebuke #the sheridan tapes #duggan hill #modes of thought in anterran literature #haunted house flippers #the antique shop

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Context: I'm running the Sunless Citadel. There's a door in that dungeon that's magically locked, and inscribed with "Rebuke the dead, open the way." You're supposed to unlock it by targeting it with Turn Undead or similar abilities, but unfortunately there are no clerics or paladins in the party. I am at an utter loss for how to proceed, until . . .

Me: "Uh, you all see a human man in chain mail walking up to you. He's carrying a staff."

Bard: "Where did he come from?"

Man: "Hello, my name is Danny Ferngust. I'm a nature cleric, just passing through --"

Bard: "In a dungeon??"

Danny, pointedly ignoring her: "Hmm, yes. Rebuke the dead, open the way. I will just use Turn Undead on this door and then I'll be off to do my clericy stuff."

Bard: "We can't keep him?"

Me: "No, you can't keep him."

Barbarian: "This has got to be a dream. I am asleep right now. I am dreaming."

Me: "Anyway, so the door glows a soft blue and opens."

#shit my players say #dnd #rpg #submission #shareable #official module

[utilitycaster]

not to turn this into an ask game, but I'm also curious about your sexiest/least sexy paladin subclasses (admittedly I know next to nothing outside what we've seen on cr/exu)

Oath of Devotion (the purest expression of paladin vibes) (CR examples: Kerrek; initial build for Kima but later moved to Vengeance)

Oath of Redemption (it's about patience in the face of everything but it's also about having stupid high bonuses to charisma checks and Rebuking The Violent) (CR example: Zerxus)

Oath of the Watchers and Oath of the Ancients are tied (personally I slightly prefer Watchers but that's because *Chetney werewolf voice* you guys ever do it on the different planes, but both are impeccable, it's really just planar vigilance vs. being a source of nature and light) (no CR examples but I believe you would know ancients from Beverly Toegold V)

Oath of Vengeance (bit edgy for my taste and I do not personally have a wing kink but like, it is pretty cool, ngl) (CR example: Vax, NADDPod example: Beverly for a bit)

Oathbreaker (frustrating that the DMG automatically goes to 'evil paladin obviously broke their oaths and now is super into zombies' when Teven Klask is out here kissing hands and does not seem to be weird about the undead. but also...I could fix them.) (CR example: Arkhan, which, again, seems weird, seems like he's actually keeping all oaths to Tiamat)

Oath of the Crown (ngl I am not searching through my files for my Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide digital copy of questionable legality right now, but iirc it was a decent support-heavy build; I don't particularly care for the monarchy but it did make you super good at healing and that's sexy)

Oath of Glory (I fucking hate this subclass but it would probably be a good lay it must be said)

Oath of Conquest (Douse the Flame of Hope douses a whole lot of other things...mechanics actually go hard but the flavor is really a turn off, like, politically)

oath of the open sea (CR example: Fjord) is not published by the WoTC and so is not officially ranked here but unofficially it's #3.

#answered #playerkingsley

[m3rricat]

You Do Not Have To Be Good - Ch. 1

Story summary: Four months after the defeat of the Netherbrain, Astarion finds himself stuck in the mire of his past and all the anger and despair that comes with it. While wrestling with her traveling-companion-turned-lover’s misery, Cat makes an impulsive decision that sets off their first falling-out. This post-game short story is told alongside the full in-game story of the evolving relationship between Cat (the not-a-bard) and Astarion (needs no introduction) which varies from canon. Told from both POVs.

Chapter Masterlist

Pairing: Astarion x female Tav

Chapter Content Warnings: mild gore, canon-typical violence

Word Count: 4974

Read on AO3

The cobbles under Astarion’s boots are slick with rain from the day. It makes the night pungent: the stench of rotting garbage in the streets and sewage from a thousand chamber pots flowing toward the harbor is so overwhelming he is practically swimming in it. But it doesn’t matter, because the anger pulsing through his veins is a hot relief. Even as it galls him, it cuts through the haze of creeping misery, and for the first time in weeks he feels sharp. Feels as alive as one undead can.

He had smelled it on her skirts. Faded and stale, but there all the same. The mildew in Cazador’s dungeon must have been its own strain, for he had smelled it nowhere else until he had on Cat, minutes ago.

Astarion had woken that evening and found it was to be a night where his mind was fitful, see-sawing back and forth from the present to the past which inevitably overlaid every street and every alley here in his old stalking grounds. It was a poor time for his broken brain to betray him. He had a hunt tonight. More properly, a bounty hunt, or state-sanctioned feeding as he had called it in the hearing of the newly-minted Grand Duke Ravengard. Astarion had gone to him weeks back for leave to get a license. His delightful joke had earned a grimace but no outright rebuke from darling Wyll. Cat had also rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked in amusement he knew she could not help. Not with him. That had been a good day. One of the few this past month.

On his way out that night, his path had crossed with Cat’s in the airy, earth-smelling main hall of Jaheira’s house, who had graciously agreed to put them up for a while when they returned to the city. Thinking back, Cat had been distracted. Her smile hadn’t quite reached her eyes. Though maybe that was because he had been… trying to deal with lately. But either way, he had dutifully stepped into her embrace, accepted her loving admonishment to be careful, will you? Most times he thought it awfully adorable given that he was back up to his full vampiric strength and speed that the tadpole had taken from him. But this night, just as she said it, that smell reached his nose. And all hell broke loose.

The stench jolts him out of his body. Even as he watches himself round on Cat, he is back there writhing on the stone in the dark, his throat raw from screaming as Godey goes in for another nail with his pliers. He sees her trying not to cry, trying to calmly answer his demands of why in the hells did she go there, go there without telling him? That wretched place where she has no business, where she must be prying or plotting or hiding something from him. Betraying him. Picking at his wounds. Her apology is choked but painfully sincere. She should have told him, should have told him right off. She squeezes her eyes shut as she tries to explain. She barely knows herself. Him struggling with the past, and his memories that are in her own mind. She wanted to—she doesn’t know. Put them down there, nail them to where they were made. Wanted to loosen their grip on her mind—and, and—

Nevermind her insane prattling. Her strangeness that he cannot stand, gods damn it. It is the most untrue thing he says to her. He sweeps out the door with his burning anger before Cat’s tears can smother it.

How did it go so wrong?

That little charmed interlude after their victory over the Netherbrain was gone like a dream. Those first three months he and Cat had caroused along the Sword Coast: by night, searching for leads to let him walk in the sun, and by day, holing up in whatever cozy crypt or cave or cellar and searching each other’s bodies for other sorts of leads. They were wildly, disgustingly in love and it so completely consumed him he thought the feeling would never end. But then, of course, the day he felt most deep in contentment was the day he realized what he had tried to run from had already slithered back into its old well-worn burrows. Had molded over his bright new happiness.

Because how could Astarion be happy? Him, the corpse that had been little more than a puppet for 200 years, had been beaten and flayed and burned and penetrated every which way by a thousand strangers, taken from himself so thoroughly. How could so degraded a vessel contain happiness? Around that three-month mark, while still out on the road, these thoughts start to skirt through his mind like shadows, there and gone in a blink. But then the shadows start to gather. Start to linger. Some days they shade everything he sees. Everything Cat says.

He begins to see her with double vision. Part of him still sees naked, unabashed love in her eyes. But the sharp and cold part of his mind that has kept him in one piece these past centuries begins to know the truth. It begins to whisper. Now and then, it will suddenly reveal the disgust in her glances, the disgust any reasonable person would have for one like him. He sees the weight he is on her, the dead body drowning in itself that she must carry, must cajole and comfort and leave alone when he snaps at her for solitude, when she has done nothing in particular to deserve it. Because he is hateful, pathetic. A burden, a tangled mass of them, who can’t do such a simple thing as be here and now.

They had always planned to return to the Gate after some months to rest, to raise up funds again for the search. But when Cat mentions turning around, all Astarion hears is her defeat in the face of him. He cannot blame her. He does his best to swallow his venom, but he is tight-lipped and sullen, trailing after her unfailingly patient back all the way to the city. He manages, from time to time, to break the surface of his self-loathing, reaches out with all the affection he can muster, mutters apologies, and she holds him, and for a moment he believes again. But then she must let go, and he sinks back down, trying to keep the memory of her love in his dead lungs.

She does not say a cutting word against him through all his moods. Cat has always been a master at keeping her own counsel. It was one of the first things he learned about her in those early days of their acquaintance, and he did not much care for it then.

~

It is six months ago, and Astarion is standing over her while their merry worm-brained band make camp on a cliff overlooking the fleshy wreck of the Nautiloid. She is the oddest one out, he thinks: an armored cleric, a subpar wizard, a delightfully terrifying alien warrior—and then there is Cat. A human-elf mutt of some mixture, pretty in a plain way, with her crooked nose and brown freckled face. So common that it’s oddly familiar.  She looks like a serving wench that has been flung down from the sky and rolled in some dirt because that is exactly what she is. It is one of the few things anyone is able to pry out of her early on. The most she has said to him was at their introduction the day before, where she had promised to shove the knife he pointed at her down his throat. He somehow still wound up included in her little group, but had gotten little more than unreadable looks from her since.

“Rather dour for a bar maid, aren’t you?” he ventures as she arranges the firewood. She replies with the new longest string of words she has ever said to him, blandly suggesting that he slosh some beer on her and grab her ass and maybe that would get her in the right mindset. And then she turns back to tending the firewood.

Despite Cat’s few words, she seizes the reins of their little troop early on. Astarion pinpoints her ascension to the night when the glum cleric brought back a rabbit she had caught for dinner, but neither she nor the wizard knew how to prepare it. The Gith was useless as she would have just eaten it raw. They stared down pathetically at the tiny carcass until Cat sighed, picked it up, and took it away to drain and dress.

Cat being vaulted to the leadership position is also due to the quiet firmness about her that Astarion cannot square. She can squeeze out only some basic spells. She is barely competent with a crossbow. Shouldn’t she be utterly out of her element, with a worm gnawing on her brain and other monstrosities trying to kill them daily? It makes Astarion suspicious. There is only room for one con artist in this group, and he has already claimed that spot.

In those first few days, countless times he decides to abandon these ingrates and strike out on his own. But doubt stops him, even after they get leads for possible solutions. That Gith crèche is one. But he would need their resident Gith for that. Perhaps she could be persuaded to go off with him… but he doubted it. She had deferred to Cat like a kicked dog when Cat intervened in her interrogation of that blubbering tiefling. The only other apparent option was the head druid, but hundreds of goblins swarmed between him and Astarion.

And then there was his particular predicament—this thing writhing in his skull had granted him a species of freedom. How could Astarion possibly thread the needle and keep it, control the worm and not destroy it like everyone else intended should happen? So he goes in maddening circles, each time finding himself back in camp.

If he is a tad honest with himself, Astarion’s crippling indecision is also due to the fact that he is afraid. Incredibly, mind-numbingly afraid, and he has no idea what he should do. He has been forcibly taken from his master, but that will not save him when he is found again. His dream of Cazador that first night only reinforces the rationality of his all-encompassing terror, and his ire toward his lickspittle companions who seem content to casually stroll toward the general direction of a solution, taking in the sights along the way.

Astarion’s anger peaks in the dank chambers of the Emerald Grove when Cat betrays how weak she is. She tells the dwarf healer everything, blabbering on about the worms and the ship and the mind-merging—everything, to a perfect stranger. And Cat gets exactly what she deserves: no cure, and a threat of bodily harm if she does not promise to kill herself at the first sign of a cold sweat. Instead of chucking the bottle of wyvern poison back in the dwarf’s face as she should have done, she accepts he theoretical suicide graciously and pockets it. Astarion tries to wrestle the scowl off his face until they are out of the warrens full of wary druids.

He must do something. Leave, or stage a coup, or somehow convince the half-elf wench to grow a spine since she has everyone’s ear already.

As they set up camp on a ridge overlooking the Sacred Grove, Astarion makes up his mind to try the least drastic option first. He goes in search of Cat, but finds her occupied with yet another distraction. A crying tiefling—what is with all these crying tieflings?—is sat on a rock just down the ridge clutching a lute, and Cat is crouched beside her, talking low, her hands far more expressive than Astarion has ever seen them.

The tiefling sniffles and plays a phrase; Cat stops her, talks and gestures, and then the tiefling tries again. Over and over this repeats. Several minutes later the girl manages to eke out something passable, her voice cracking as she tries to sing along. Cat stands and after a brief word turns to leave, but the girl grabs her arm, and Astarion can hear her thanking Cat profusely, telling her she has a gift in return. She totters over to her packs, pulls out a long-ish wooden case, and hands it to Cat.

Astarion can see the stiffness in Cat’s arms as she holds the box. She’s staring down at the thing like it might bite. The tiefling is expounding again. Cat mutters something without look up and marches off up the path toward the camp, tucking the case under her arm.

From his vantage point in the shadow of a tent, Astarion watches Cat veer away from the camp at the last second, stop at a stump just off the path, and put the case down on it. She stares at it as the sun goes down, hands on her hips. It feels like an age before she sighs, unlatches it, and with a smooth movement removes a glossy violin and bow and brings it to her shoulder.

Shit.

She deftly begins to tune it, face furrowed in concentration. Her arms seem suddenly graceful, holding it all in a frame that is both solid and easy. Practiced. Because she is practiced, as Astarion knows. Because now he realizes he has seen her before.

Two times it was. Seven—no, eight years ago now. The first time, she is practically swaggering into Cazador’s upper city offices after hours in her gown straight from a private performance at patriar so-and-so’s. Her eyes slide over Astarion who is posted outside the door, her mind clearly preoccupied. Cazador had pulled him from the hunt that night, needing someone to play the manservant at this meeting.

Cat—she did not just go by 'Cat' back then, surely?—is Cazador’s fixation of the month. Cazador always considered himself a poet, and relatedly, a patron of the fine arts. He usually had some musician or painter or other under his thumb to fulfill his demented artistic whims, and when they tried to wiggle out from under, he sucked them dry more literally.

Cat has caught Cazador’s eye for the same reasons why she has become the general darling of the upper city arts circles. She is a violin prodigy with both incredible technical expertise and astonishingly inventive composition. But more than that, she can play the Weave as easily as her instrument. Most sinisterly, she can also twist the emotions of her audience with terrifying precision. A typical bard might sow a general fear with their songs, but Cat can coax out your specific worst childhood memory, or the delicious pangs of your first love. It is like catnip to the rich and powerful, this beauty with the potential for pain.

Cazador must have her. First he muses about turning her, claiming her talents forever, but he quickly discards the notion as Cat would be unlikely to retain her skills. The dead, even animated, have duller senses of touch than the warm-blooded and are far less dexterous without effort: it took Astarion a good decade to become even middling with a sewing needle. No, patronage it would be.

Except, apparently, it would not. Astarion can barely make out the words through the solid oak door, but the progression of tone makes it clear that things are going south between his master and this woman. She is saying no, rather bluntly. This would be a first. A tendril of pleasure curls in his stomach. Oh, she is doomed. But she has rankled Cazador, and that is what Astarion lives for.

The second time comes several days later. Cazador has pulled him for servant duty again, this time to escort him at a concert. The concert of the season, in fact, which features Cat as a soloist. Cazador has not said a word about any plans. But Astarion knows he has one. Knows that this will be the woman’s last happy evening, one way or another.

He is sat behind his master. As ever, his eyes are drawn to Cazador, the fire of his hatred always burning in his belly, even when it is banked low. He tries to make his eyes wander the audience, the orchestra, the lavish hall, to steal something beautiful to tuck away in his mind, but inevitably they snap back to the arbiter of his world.

At the end of the evening, Cat strides onto the stage with that same swagger as when he first saw her, beaming at the audience’s roar of approval. Astarion does not feel bad for her, per se. She is just another unlucky wretch in his master’s way. He watches events unfold with detached interest, like watching a carriage crash.

She looks radiant as the orchestra strikes up the triumphant third movement of the concerto. She comes in on her cue, gets several notes in, and falters. With a game face, she tries to dive back in, but her bow squawks against the strings instead. Astarion cannot hear Cazador, but he can very nearly feel the vibrations as his master incants whatever curse or hex is settling over her, strangling her well-tread neural pathways. Cat’s face is pinched with fear now. She stares out at the audience wildly, unseeing—and then Astarion sees the moment her eyes lock on Cazador. She knows it is him. But she is caught, and she cannot stop it. The din of the orchestra garbles and then crumbles as Cat runs off stage.

Astarion expects his master to order him to track down the woman in a few months’ time to drag her back to the palace for her final comeuppance when she is well out of the spotlight, but the order never comes. Cazador seems to have forgotten her, as has the rest of the Gate’s high society.

But here she has come crawling out again, probably from inside of a bottle drowning her sorrows since. Astarion had known Cat was hiding something. Perhaps she speaks little because does not want to exhume her past. Maybe she does not want her fall from grace revealed.

Astarion then wonders if she has recognized him—if she thinks he had anything to do with what happened that night. Astarion grits his teeth as he continues to watch her tune the fiddle. This made things more complicated—except, no, he decides forcibly. It is straightforward. Cat is a broken person, and he has proof now. He had intended to approach with flattery, but now he knows he must probe the wound, find out how deep it is. If he cannot convince her to be more ruthless, then she must go, or he.

Just as he is about to corner Cat, Shadowheart calls the group to supper. Cat stops her tuning abruptly and shoves the instrument back in its case. She carries it over to the tents and dumps it unceremoniously inside her own before joining.

Astarion almost misses Cat the next morning. He is perched on a rock outcropping to watch the sun come up, the one thing he has found that makes him happy in this mess, when Cat darts out of her tent. He did not expect her to rise this early as she had never done so before. It is not until she has already set off on a path to the far side of the ridge with her violin case under her arm that he spots her and begins following her at a distance through the scrubby underbrush.

The Chionthar flows on the other side, looking molten in the early morning light. Cat sets down her case on a flat rock wedged into the sandy bank. Just as she snaps it open, Astarion steps out of the shadows.

“We’ve met before. Haven’t we?”

Cat spins around, startled. The bow is clutched in her right hand. She looks slightly wild. Her mousy hair, normally braided and bound up, is drooping in a messy bun and she doesn’t have a jacket on over her stays. Her stare is severe for a second, but to Astarion’s surprise, it eases slightly. She regards him carefully.

“’Seen,’ maybe. I know I never said a word to you,” she says in her slight drawl that Astarion hasn’t yet been able to place.

“So you do remember. But you never said a thing.” Astarion strolls toward her. "I didn’t even recognize you until you picked up that fiddle yesterday. How the mighty have fallen.”

Cat casually leans back on the rock, folding her arms. Her tone is cool as she says, “You want to take a dig at me? Go on. I didn’t think you cared much for what your patriar boss did, though.”

“Oh?” Astarion frowns. “And what would you know about that?”

Cat smiles slightly. “I saw how you looked at him. You were staring at the back of his head the whole night like you wished it would explode.” She picks at the top of the bow with her finger. “I wanted to shake your damn hand then. Everyone told me he was eccentric but—eugh,” she shudders. “I felt like—like a pretty bug he wanted to put a pin in when he was talking at me in his office. And I know it was him that scrambled my brain.” She looks back up at him, serious. “What did he do to me?”

Astarion is honest. “I haven’t the faintest.”

Cat sighs. Shrugs. “Figured. You still working for him?”

“Uh—” Astarion stutters. He is thoroughly thrown off his plan now. She seems far from broken, or even ruffled. “No. I—that is, no. Ancient history.”

“Good for you,” says Cat feelingly. “He must be hell to work for.”

Visions of Cazador’s eyes glowing with command burn through Astarion’s brain. “Yes,” he says, distantly. “He left…much to be desired.”

The silence stretches as Astarion fights through the sudden wave of intrusive thoughts. Cat peers at him, her face tinged with concern. “What did he do to you?”

“My past is not your business,” Astarion snaps as echoes of what Cazador did to him rattle through his body. The anger wakes him back up to his purpose. “But what is of everyone’s concern—you leading us to our deaths.”

Cat blinks, straightening up. “What in the hells are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about all the entanglements you’ve led us into in this blasted grove—but mainly I’m talking about that suicide pact you made. What were you thinking?”

Cat frowns. “Suicide? Oh, you mean taking that poison from Nettie? Well…” Her eyes scan his face. Measuring. “…I lied. Not like she’s going to follow me around to make sure I do.”

Astarion sags slightly at the sudden lack of resistance. It’s not like the thought hadn’t occurred to him. But he had no reason to think she hadn’t been earnest with all her other do-gooder deeds so far. “Then why haven’t you said a thing to anyone? You rather like not saying anything about anything, don’t you?”

“And if I did come right out and say that I’m not killing myself at the first sign, what do you think the others would do? Lae’zel would just chop me down right there,” Cat retorts. “They don’t need to know. Won’t hurt them.”

Astarion has to concede she had a point. But these revelations still put him on edge. When would he be the one she strategically declined to tell her true intentions? His view of her had gotten both better and worse.

For now, he should just try to make her feel aligned with him, he decides. “Glad I’m not the only sane one here.” He plasters on a smile. “Ceremorphosis has already been delayed unnaturally long. I say we can stand to dance on the edge a bit.”

“A bit. Sure. Figure until our teeth start getting loose.”

Astarion suddenly shrinks his smile, to make sure his own teeth aren’t too apparent. “Very well. If your teeth start rattling around in your skull, I’ll be happy to provide the coup de grâce. Any preferences?”

“Preferences?” she smiles, perplexed. “For how you’ll kill me?”

Astarion opens his arms generously. “Of course. It’s the least I can do for our fearless leader.”

Cat rolls her eyes. “Leader, my foot.” But to his surprise, she ponders the question. “You’re good with a knife. Bet you could get it between my ribs easy, straight to the heart.”

He bows. “As you wish, darling. A good stabbing it is.”

“So kind. But really, whatever you can manage,” Cat replies in mock-graciousness. Then absently she rubs her neck. “Just not strangulation. Please.” Before Astarion can probe into that little aside, Cat continues— “And how about you?”

“What?”

“How do you want me to kill you?” Her face is disarmingly earnest.

“Oh, my dear,” he laughs. “I’d like to see y—”

And that’s when he hears it. Suddenly the most beautiful, heartrending music Astarion has ever heard floats in on the breeze from the river. It is singing, but wordless. It didn’t need words. He could live on it, sustained by it forever—

“Cover your ears!” Cat yells suddenly, rudely cutting through the heavenly sound. But the jolt makes Astarion realize something is wrong. He has unconsciously taken a few steps toward the river bank. Trembling, he raises his hands to his ears.

Beside him, Cat is gritting her teeth and putting the violin to her shoulder. She looks out on the river. Astarion follows her gaze, still feeling hazy. A woman crouches on a sandbar several yards out into the current. At least—he thinks it is a woman. But as it shifts, he sees the wings, the stunted body crouching on claws. A harpy. She is singing full-throated.

Beside him, Cat stares at her strings grimly and slowly begins to pick out the harpy’s melody. His attention is caught by a drop of blood at the corner of her mouth—her tongue. She bit it to keep her head, he thinks absently, against the flow of the harpy’s luring call in his brain.

Louder and louder Cat plays, with each pass drowning out the harpy’s voice more and more, until Astarion feels the hold of its song dissipate completely.

But Cat isn’t done. Without warning, a guttural groan suddenly sounds from the fiddle, eliciting a screech from the harpy. Cat is staring at the thing murderously. Again she saws at the strings, this time bringing out a high whine that trembles, and then falls to a scraping moan again. And the harpy lurches. It moves toward them not on its feet, but tumbling forward, as if the horrid sounds coming from Cat’s instrument have lodged like a hook in its throat.

The thing claws for purchase at the sand, at the stones under the water, but it is no use. Cat begins to play in some sort of disjointed rhythm, a bloodcurdling march that reels in the beast until, at last, it lies twitching in a heap at their feet. In no hurry, Cat sets down the violin, unsheathes a dagger from the belt on her dress, yanks the harpy’s head back, and slits its neck from ear to ear, sending spurts of blood into the wet sand as it gurgles its life away.

Coolly, Cat hauls it up by its hair, looking into its twitching face. Then she suddenly grimaces, turning her head to spit a gob of delicious-smelling blood into the pool forming under the harpy. Astarion feels delirious—the blood (oh, the blood), the lingering sounds of the harpy’s song in his brain. But more than that, the curdling screams Cat pulled out of the violin cradled against her throat.

Cat lets the harpy’s corpse drop in a heap and stands up, stretching her back. “I can still do it,” she mutters. “I just can’t do it pretty anymore.”

“You—you undid Szarr’s curse?”

Cat shakes her head. “No. It’s still there, whatever he did. Took me a long time to play at all again. But I’ll never be able to play the Weave like I did. I didn’t want to anyone to see, but—” Cat sighs. “I have to try to be at least halfway useful, seeing as how this found me all the way out here.” She hefts the violin in her hand. “Before, playing the weave was like a math problem. Plain and elegant. But now… it’s like I’m digging around in the dirt for it.”

Astarion has no clue what she means. “Yes, but—you can still do it.” he huffs a laugh. “Kill me any way but that, darling.”

“Oh, no worries there,” Cat says, moving back toward the case perched on the rock. “I grew up with harpies lurking around. I know them inside and out. Most things I’ll never be able manipulate physically like that. And I certainly don’t know enough about you yet to snag you.”

Her gaze then snags on his for a moment before she turns back around. Astarion watches her unassuming figure warily. A thirty-something woman in a tattered dress and tattered stays and grubby stockings she needs to burn at this point. She gently lays the violin in the case. Then she goes to rinse off the bloody knife. Sheaths it. Her tawny eyes, usually brown but gleaming elven-gold in this light, snag on his again.

“Come on. Her sisters will smell this soon enough, and I don’t fancy taking all of them.”

#bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x female tav #astarion x female oc #baldur's gate 3

[terra-tortoise]

flight rising tumblr do you have any general lore for wind clans or nature clans youre proud of? theyre the 2 elements ive had the most trouble pinning down a vibe for. posting what i have (and some brief bit of my lore for the other elements to put them into perspective) below the cut, but id love to hear what you all have in terms of lore for them

Nature: genuinely not much. 2 pearl cerdae that help guard the behemoth. the mother of snakes, a dragon who volunteered to enter the pox consulate after the armistace was broken to atttempt to seal it up and prevent it from spreading who was infected (not outright killed by luck of being born to plague) and changed into a strange beast with 3 snake heads, keeping mutated creatures in and healthy dragons out. aiming for a more brutal vibe i think?

Wind: again. basically nothing. i keep just making farmers--lotta sheep come from the windswept plateu. a few bards too but nothing Interesting, no anchoring point of conflict or creativity.

Arcane: nothing -_- magic experimentation i guess? i had some dragons who were once turned to stone as a punishment for suspicion of spreading arcane secrets, but my other dragons are very mundane which is not as fun to me. i also have a weird monster from space? i could go space ways...

Earth: focus primarily on archeologists and grave robbers, as well as long-dead creatures brought to life by a shifting in ley lines

Fire: definitely leaning into the magmablood rebuke, forgemasters and rebels, bigotry and classism, pollution and unionizing

Water: ive made a breakthrough leaning into the darker sides of their lore (prisoners and the like) but leaning into sea witches and pirate crews. the core story is an undead former pirate who died in a storm and her wife who searches for her, most of my water dragons are either related to the search or former crew members

Lightning: scrappers and engineers, industrialization and innovation. trying to survive in a climate that hates you.

Ice: outward expansion of gaoler outposts and increasing shade incursions. guides across the ice field.

Light: so much. investigation into ruins of past civilization, secrets and lies, shade bubbling up beneath.

Shadow: behemoth ghostly warriors in the brambles, dragons that mislead for fun, a faction of fanatics determined to blot out the sun.

Plague: a wasteland empty, capitalized on by strange magic-users and crime rings. the illegal gladiatorial pits originated here (<-borrowed lore). the undercroft is a honeycombed metropolis stretching deep underground, and within it a dragon creates flesh constructs, seeking revenge on those who scorned her.

#flight rising #scribes #lore

[thesoulspulse]

Danny Phantom Randomness (Vlad Vs Dracula)

(Note: This is concept art from an cancelled Don Bluth animated film about Dracula we were robbed of which makes me sad. Just wanted to put that out there even though it’s slightly unrelated to the topic at hand.)

Ok, so I’m sure that collectively as a fandom we all know that Vlad was loosely based off Dracula, aka Vlad The Impaler. And according to the wiki page, “Plasmius is more vampiric than Masters, as this was the producer's original intention, although it was rebuked by Nickelodeon, who considered it too "occult." But again, no matter how much they tried to deny it Danny Phantom IS a show about ghosts, supernatural creatures, and various different popular characters from well-known urban myths and legends. Honestly, I wish there had been more of them besides Pandora and Wulf the werewolf...

Anyways, there’s plenty of fanfics out there that do go the extra mile to make Vlad a vampire who drinks ectoplasm and stuff like that but what if he was actually RELATED to the original vampire by the same name as him and that’s why his ghost form looks the way it does? What if vampires were real too just like ghosts since they technically fit into a similar category as half-ghosts because they’re the undead...?

I just think it would be funny to see Vlad meet Dracula, aka the source of his name-sake, only to be treated like a child by an immortal being that can’t be overshadowed and can pretty much do everything he can but better. Dracula has superhuman strength, teleportation, the power of flight, can possess people (even hypnotize which Vlad can’t do in the show at least since that would make it way too easy to take over Maddie and Danny’s minds), and regeneration to name a few that’s the same as a lot of ghosts. That said, Dracula has the usual weaknesses of any vampire like his powers are weaker during the day, holy water and silver burns him (think of these as Blood Blossom equivalents), and his “obsession” is an unquenchable thirst for blood.

I’d love for this Dracula to specifically be like the Dracula Untold version who was ruthless to ultimately save his family and his people. He loved his wife and son more than anything which would be nice to see as a tie in to Vlad’s feelings for Maddie and Danny. Of course, Dracula would have none of his poor-pitiful-me act and call Vlad a disgrace to their bloodline.

Dracula would encourage Vlad to find his one true love who will only have eyes for him from the bottom of her heart, not pine over someone who has chosen another since he has known a love that transcends death because every century or so Dracula searches for the reincarnation of his beloved. And if she has married another he’ll protect her from afar knowing that she does not always remember him when they meet  again and he basically has to prove his devotion all over again like a 50-First Dates sort of deal otherwise whenever she’s single.

As for Danny, it’d be a similar scolding. Dracula would point out how fighting a child is unbecoming of him, especially if he views this boy as a son. Therefore, Vlad should be helping him, not making his life harder because Danny has already faced more horrific battles than any 14 year old boy should.

"It's not a child's place to defend his country." ~ Dracula Untold

Hopefully something Dracula said will resonate with Vlad because if not, its hard to say if they share the power of immortality too and the old vampire has better things to do with his free time. I dunno, I’m probably rambling but it was a fun idea in my head so I had to share it. Especially since I have drawn Vlad in a costume inspired by the classic vampire along with the Phantom of the Opera which I couldn’t stop thinking about when I discovered that little piece of Don Bluth history above about Dracula getting a redemption arc. And I’m a big fan of redemption arcs for our favorite fruitloop too!

#danny phantom #danny phantom randomness #vlad masters #vlad plasmius #dracula #dracula untold #count dracula #vampire #don bluth #vlad the impaler #thesoulspulse #thesoul'spulse #the souls pulse #the soul's pulse

[thydungeongal]

hey I'm actually genuinely curious as to why the most powerful Blackguards in D&D 3.5 are Paladins first, I don't know much about 3.5 and that sounds kind of interesting

So! Blackguard in D&D 3.5 was a Prestige Class! Unlike normal character classes you actually had to fulfill certain criteria to become a Blackguard. For most characters this meant that admission into the Blackguard class didn't become available until level 6.

The Blackguard was very much an adaptation of the anti-Paladin of previous editions into 3e, so it was very much meant to evoke the idea of an evil Paladin (remember, Paladins still were the always Lawful Good class at this point in time), and they thus had lots of abilities that were the diametric opposite of Paladin abilities: smite good instead of smite evil, rebuke undead instead of turn undead, they gained a fiendish servant instead of a Paladin's mount, etc. Some of their abilities were just perversions of the Paladin's code: gaining sneak attack (like the Rogue ability) because Paladins had to fight honorably, and poison use because Paladins couldn't utilize poison.

But there were special rules for Blackguards who had started their careers as Paladins and Fallen before becoming Blackguards: depending on how many levels of (ex-)Paladin they had, they gained a bunch of additional abilities. Extra use of smite evil, extra sneak attack dice, undead companion, and so on.

That's basically the long and short of it. Thanks for asking, I love talking about 3.5 despite it not being my favorite edition, it still holds a special place in my heart :)

#thydungeongal answers

[beevean]

Mactor + Escape :)

call me the spanish inquisition the way I pop up when you least expect it forgive me i have to physically brawl with my brain to get shit done

Happy birthday bestie <3

~

"Hector, come with me."

Mathias extended his hand towards his knight, frozen in surprise by his sudden request. Only the rustling of the dead leaves could be heard in the courtyard, but Mathias waited with all the patience that was necessary.

"Lord Cronqvist... You can't mean..."

"But I do. When the Count finds a way to send me back home... I ask you to join me."

A soft gasp escaped Hector's lips.

Perhaps he had expected him to propose to run away from the castle, like an eloping couple. Mathias had considered it, in the past days. But he was no fool: of the many, displeasurable things he had learned ever since he had been brought into the far future, the worst and most important one was that Count Dracula made fire and brimstone rain from the sky when something took his possessions away from him.

Only seeking refuge in another world would protect both of them from the monster's ire.

Hector, poor eyewitness and victim of said ire, still hesitated to respond, his gaze darting back and forth. Mathias held onto the thought that the knight was not rejecting him in full, ignoring what his racing heart was screaming at him.

"I understand your apprehension. To be flung in a different century, so far in time as to almost be a different world... It's disorienting. Nothing will be the same." He shook his head. "But surely it would be better than this life you're living."

Hector's fingers flew to hide the ugly purple bruise on his neck, hardly concealed by his uniform. His Lord was growing more shameless by the day - and it did not escape Mathias' notice how the vampire's nostrils flared like a hound's every time Hector approached him, and how he'd shoot a deadly glare at the younger Lord that nearly soured the sweet taste of Hector's lips on his.

Mathias had a tendency to keep his loved ones close to him, that was for certain, but it disheartened him to learn how petty he'd become in the future.

He no longer had the words to express the sickness that took his stomach when Hector returned to his quarters, pale as the undead creatures that roamed in the castle and with eyes just as devoid of life. There was only so much his embrace could do to soothe the shivering man.

They were both prisoners in that cursed castle, at the mercy of the Devil. But Mathias did not have the heart to seek freedom for himself, leaving the man that had captivated his soul behind.

A good Lord would do anything to protect his most important knights, and it was high time Hector learned it.

"I... It would be betrayal," the man finally whispered, in that tone typical of children terrified that their parents might overhear.

"Betrayal of what?" Mathias snapped. "Of a mindless slaughter of your own kind? Of a monster who only sees you as a meal to satiate his filthy appetite with? Do you truly want to place your loyalty in the claws of a creature who doesn't even deserve to gaze upon you?"

The Count's icy, cruel voice resounded in his head, cackling and wicked, that Mathias was not the one who saved the boy's life and thus had no right to claim him as his. What could he hope to achieve, after only a handful of months, while the vampire had years of time to shape Hector to his leisure and fill his mind with despicable lies, such as that he loved him?

But he could hope that he had done a good job as showing Hector what love truly was. The way the knight was balling his fists, instead of rebuking more, comforted him.

"Hector, please. You're too precious to waste yourself in a place like this. And you know it." Mathias refused to hold back: he approached Hector and put a hand on his shoulder, on the armor that marked him as one of Count Dracula's Generals. "You're one of the bravest, most noble men I've had the honor of meeting."

"Even if I'm a sinner rejected by your own God?" Hector asked with a wry smile, that Mathias reciprocated in full.

"Especially because you're a sinner, dear."

Count Dracula may have done his best to ensnare Hector's body and soul, but Mathias highly doubted that he had ever seen him with such warmth in his icy eyes, a deep sentiment that surpassed the mere loyalty of a knight. That sight was for Mathias and Mathias alone, and he nearly swelled with pride.

Hector's fingers brushed against Mathias' hand on his side. But still, he did not grasp it.

"Lord Cronqvist," he sighed, "you're asking me to live with humans. I can't do that. I do not belong with them, no matter in what time and place. I'm not a mere sinner: I'm a cursed being."

Mathias suffocated the wave of fury inside his chest. He wished he had crosses and holy water with him, to reduce the vile Count to ashes for what he had done to such a pure man, for the shackles he had put on his mind.

"I'm not. I'm asking you to live with me, my Hector."

The most he was able to do was to offer Hector the key to escape his prison.

The rustling of dead leaves was deafening, now. Hector looked at him, through him, eyes no longer warm but whet with sharp determination. Then, he took Mathias' hand with his ungloved, callused one, and placed his lips on its back, and took the key.

"Very well... my Lord."

#mactor #beev's writing #sometimes i miss the them

[toads-treasures]

For Leda and Cori (but feel free not to do both or to skip questions or anything)!

What is your Tav’s origin story? 

What is your character’s moral alignment?

How does your Tav get along with each party member?

Does your Tav consider themselves a hero, villain, victim or something else?

-wayhavenots :)

Ahhh thank you for the ask!!! I tried so hard not to let this get too long and uhhhhhh I failed 😂 I was way too excited to talk about my DIY blorbos

What is your tav’s origin story?

Staring off with my first ever Tav Leda!!

She’s actually had a lot of different origin stories 😂 before I ever had the game, and I was just obsessively theorizing I thought it would be funny to have a little pink murder muffin. So I set out to make the cutest, sparkliest, most pastel candy colored character and have that be my Dark Urge character! I did not consider the fact that I cannot be mean to pixels, and I restarted after one (1) uncontrolled murder lol.

So Leda’s backstory took a hard left and she’s been through many iterations, but the tldr version is she was born into a noble house, but was banished from it at a young age because of her uncontrolled magic and a tragic incident involving hellish rebuke She ran as far from home as she could and took any odd job offered to her, and when she inevitably had a surge of wild magic that would cause her to lose said job, she’d move on. I picked the urchin background for her in game, but this is what is in the Deep Lore of my brain lol. Someday I do want to do a dark urge run with her, but, we shall see if I am strong enough 😂

Now for my new Tav, Corisandre!

Cori was raised on the road with her family (parents and older sister Lyra, and younger sister Melody). Her mother is a cleric of Kelemvor (god of death) and travels around the sword coast preforming last rites, taking care of the undead and general Cleric of Death business. Her father is a bard and handyman. He’d often preform (sing and play the lyre) or do repair work around a tavern in exchange for lodgings on the road. Most people preferred his handiwork over his singing lol. Her family often came in contact with a traveling group of performers that seemed to follow similar routes as her and her family. Cori loved watching them. They were much more polished and professional than what she and her dad would do, as they were both self taught. She befriended several members of the troop, particularly a talented lute player, a boy named Lark. They were happy to teach her more about music and preforming, and the magic they used to enhance their talents with both. Then, when she was eighteen there was a long period of time where she didn’t see the troop at all. When her family finally ran into them again, she discovered that they’d been attacked on the road and several members, including her friend Lark, had died. Cori was devastated, and decided to join the troop, hoping to protect them on the road. She was with them up until she got kidnapped by the mindflayer ship.

What is your character’s moral alignment? Does your Tav consider themselves to be more of a hero, a villain, a victim or something else?

I’m going to combine these two questions a bit!!

Leda is chaotic neutral, but that changes to chaotic good as she gets a little bit of guidance from a certain Blade of Frontiers. She’s always admired people who would be considered “good aligned” but often felt too cowardly to become so herself. Her magic has hurt people more often than it’s helped, and so she’s spent most of her life trying to repress it, never really learned how to control it or use it for “good”. But she’s working on it now! And now that she has an actual support system (Wyll cough cough, Honeylark) being a “hero” comes much easier.

Cori is neutral good!

She’s always willing to lend someone a hand if it’s within her means to do so, and is quick to stand up for anyone vulnerable, part of the reason she joined the preforming troop was to protect them. I don’t think she’d really consider herself a hero though. In her mind she’s just a silly little bard who happens to be pretty good with stabbing things that need stabbing lol. She can’t be considered lawful good, though she was kind of raised with a similar set of principles, but she’s not quite as erratic as Leda 😂

How does your Tav get along with each party member?

Cori is so new that I’m not really sure yet!! So far, she has the highest approval with Gale, then shadowheart and Karlach. She initially was a little ruffled by Lae’zel but only because she was mean to the very scared Tiefling, Zorru, in the grove and Cori is very protective of other tieflings lol. But she’s got crazy high insight stats, so I think she’s quick to realize that pretty much all of these people are terrified. She knows Lae’zel is so far from anything even remotely familiar and she doesn’t take her brusk attitude to heart really. Overall she’s quite fond of all of them, particularly a very verbose wizard, and a fiery, kind hearted tiefling.

Led gets along very well with pretty much everyone! But she’s also a pathological people pleaser at the beginning lol, so it might have been hard to tell what was genuine connection and what was her doing whatever it took to make herself seem useful so they wouldn’t leave her behind.

I think initially Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae’zel found her naive and silly. Astarion in particular thought she’d be an easy mark for his plan of “seduction for protection” but she was also oblivious to him attempting to come on to her and he gave up pretty quick 😂 I think she feels the closest, friend wise, with shadowheart and Karlach. Lae’zel was and is slightly terrifying to her but she likes her a lot, one of her favorite things is telling Lae’zel the summary of novels (usually romance novels) she’s read while they walk, but changing them up to be much more violent and battle heavy to keep Lae’zel interested. At first she avoids Gale, she’s intimidated by his knowledge of magic and feels very insecure about her own abilities (or lack there of) but he grows to be a very good teacher! He’s very patient with her and she likes listening to him but she is my adhd queen so if there’s not something to keep her hands busy while she’s talking her eyes will glaze over.

With the later companions, Halsin Jaheira and Minsc, Leda adores them all and sees them as role models/parental figures, especially Jaheira. Though Minsc is definitely more of a fun uncle type 😂

And then last but not least, the pride of the gate Wyll Ravengard himself. Leda was smitten with him from literally the first moment she saw him. His introduction at the grove, the way he was so kind to the Tiefling children, girl was practically swooning. She’s always loved romance/adventure stories and Wyll seems like he basically stepped out of one. She’s met people before who may play the part of hero, who pretend to be a knight in shining armor. But she’s never met anyone who actually embodies those ideals like Wyll does. And the more she gets to know him, the more she admires him, and the more she worries about his selflessness turning to self destruction.

#thank you sm for the ask!!!!!! #I love talking about my gorls #oc: Leda #oc: Cori

[raeynbowboi]

How to Play the Ultimate Dark Mage in DnD 5e

With Halloween right around the corner, I thought I'd delve into an idea I don't see talked about very much: building the ultimate black mage in DnD. For this build, we're not trying to be the best necromancer, or the best damage dealer. What we want is to find the build that grants us the widest arsenal of as many dark magical powers as possible. In order to give the Sorcerer a fair chance, we're going to homebrew to grant the Sorcerer 25 spells known instead of 15, otherwise there's no chance the Sorcerer is going to win.

DARK MAGIC SPELL LIST

NECROMANCY False Life (Artificer, Sorcerer, Warlock*, Wizard, Death Cleric, Grave Cleric) Animate Dead (Cleric, Warlock*, Wizard, Oathbreaker Paladin) Speak with Dead (Bard, Cleric, Wizard, Undead Warlock, Undying Warlock) Spirit Shroud (Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard) Summon Undead (Warlock, Wizard) Summon Warrior Spirit (sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Death Ward (Cleric, Paladin, Undead Warlock, Undying Warlock, Alchemist Artificer) Spirit of Death (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Antilife Shield (Druid, Death Cleric, Grave Cleric, Undead Warlock) Danse Macabre (Warlock, Wizard) Create Undead (Cleric, Warlock, Wizard) Soul Cage (Warlock, Wizard) Clone (Wizard)

NECROTIC DAMAGE Chill Touch (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Toll the Dead (Cleric, Warlock, Wizard) Inflict Wounds (Cleric, Oathbreaker Paladin) Wither and Bloom (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard) Vampiric Touch (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Death Cleric, Grave Cleric) Blight (Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Death Cleric, Grave Cleric, Oathbreaker Paladin, Alchemist Artificer) Destructive Wave (Paladin, Tempest Cleric) Enervation (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Negative Energy Flood (Warlock, Wizard) Circle of Death (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Finger of Death (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Symbol (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard) Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting (Sorcerer, Wizard) Power Word: Kill (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

SHADOW MAGIC Darkness (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Land (Swamp) Druid, Oathbreaker Paladin) Shadow Blade (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Summon Shadowspawn (Warlock, Wizard) Shadow of Moil (Warlock) Maddening Darkness (Warlock, Wizard)

PESTILENCE Acid Splash (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard) Poison Spray (Artificer, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Ray of Sickness (Sorcerer, Wizard, Death Cleric, Alchemist Artificer) Tasha's Caustic Brew (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard) Blindness/Deafness (Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard, Spores Druid, Fiend Warlock, Undead Warlock, Undying Warlock) Melf's Acid Arrow (Wizard, Land (Swamp) Druid, Alchemist Artificer) Ray of Enfeeblement (Warlock, Wizard, Death Cleric, Grave Cleric) Stinking Cloud (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard, Land (Swamp, Underdark) Druid, Fiend Warlock) Sickening Radiance (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Vitriolic Sphere (Sorcerer, Wizard) Cloudkill (Sorcerer, Wizard, Alchemist Artificer, Death Cleric, Land (Underdark) Druid, Spores Druid, Conquest Paladin, Undead Warlock) Contagion (Cleric, Druid, Oathbreaker Paladin, Undying Warlock) Disintegrate (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Harm (Cleric, Druid)

FIENDISH MAGIC Hellish Rebuke (Warlock, Oathbreaker Paladin) Spirit Guardians (Cleric, Crown Paladin) Summon Lesser Demons (Warlock, Wizard) Summon Greater Demon (Warlock, Wizard) Infernal Calling (Warlock, Wizard) Planar Binding (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard) Summon Fiend (Warlock, Wizard) Planar Ally (Cleric) Tasha's Otherworldly Guise (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

ELDRITCH MAGIC Eldritch Blast (Warlock) Arms of Hadar (Warlock) Hunger of Hadar (Warlock) Edvard's Black Tentacles (Wizard, Great Old One Warlock)

CURSES & EVIL Infestation (Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Bane (Bard, Cleric, Warlock*, Vengeance Paladin) Hex (Warlock) Tasha's Hideous Laughter (Bard, Wizard, Great Old One Warlock) Bestow Curse (Bard, Cleric, Wizard, Conquest Paladin, Oathbreaker Paladin) Dispel Evil & Good (Cleric, Paladin) Hallow (Cleric, Fiend Warlock) Insect Plague (Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer) Eyebite (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Flesh to Stone (Warlock, Wizard) Power Word: Pain (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

MIND GAMES & NIGHTMARES Mind Sliver (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Cause Fear (Warlock, Wizard) Dissonant Whispers (Bard, Great Old One Warlock) Silvery Barbs (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Crown of Madness (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Oathbreaker Paladin) Tasha's Mind Whip (Sorcerer, Wizard) Antagonize (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Enemies Abound (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Fear (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Conquest Paladin) Phantasmal Killer (Wizard, Hexblade Warlock, Genie Warlock) Dream (Bard, Warlock, Wizard, Land (Grassland) Druid) Dominate Person (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard, Order Cleric, Trickery Cleric, Conquest Paladin, Oathbreaker Paladin, Archfey Warlock, Great Old One Warlock) Modify Memory (Bard, Wizard, Trickery Cleric) Synaptic Static (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mental Prison (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Dominate Monster (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Feeblemind (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Weird (Warlock, Wizard)

BEST CLASS FOR DARK MAGIC

BARD Necromancy: 1 Necrotic Damage: 1 Shadow Magic: 0 Pestilence: 2 Fiendish Magic: 1 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 5 Mind Games & Nightmares: 10 Total: 20 + Magical Secrets (4-6)

CLERIC Necromancy: 5, 7 (Death & Grave) Necrotic Damage: 3, 5 (Death & Grave), 4 (Tempest) Shadow Magic: 0 Pestilence: 3, 6 (Death), 4 (Grave) Fiendish Magic: 3 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 5 Mind Games & Nightmares: 0, 2 (Trickery), 1 (Order) Total: 19 Death: 26 Grave: 24 Trickery: 21

DRUID Necromancy: 1, 2 (Spores) Necrotic Damage: 3 Shadow Magic: 0 Pestilence: 3, 5 (Spores), 5 Land (Swamp), 5 Land (Underdark) Fiendish Magic: 0 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 1 Mind Games & Nightmares: 1, 2 Land (Grassland) Total: 9 Spores: 12 Land (Swamp): 11 Land (Underdark: 11

SORCERER Necromancy: 3 Necrotic Damage: 9 Shadow Magic: 2 Pestilence: 10 Fiendish Magic: 1 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 4 Mind Games & Nightmares: 11 Total: 40

DIVINE SOUL SORCERER Necromancy: 8 Necrotic Damage: 12 Shadow Magic: 2 Pestilence: 12 Fiendish Magic: 4 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 8 Mind Games & Nightmares: 11 Total: 57

WARLOCK Necromancy: 9, 12 (Undead) Necrotic Damage: 9 Shadow Magic: 5/5 Pestilence: 4, 6 (Fiend), 6 (Undead) Fiendish Magic: 6 Eldritch Magic: 3, 4/4 (Great Old One) Curses & Evil: 6, 7 (Fiend), 7 (Great Old One) Mind Games & Nightmares: 12, 14 (Great Old One) Total: 54 Fiend: 57 Great Old One: 58 Undead: 59

WIZARD Necromancy: 11 Necrotic Damage: 12 Shadow Magic: 4 Pestilence: 11 Fiendish Magic: 6 Eldritch Magic: 0 Curses & Evil: 6 Mind Games & Nightmares: 17 Total: 67

Not only does Wizard come out on top with an impressive 67 dark magic spells, it is the only class that can learn all 67 spells. The Warlock learns 15 spells and 4 Mystic Arcanum, plus a few more through Eldritch Invocations, Clerics prepare level + WIS so they'll never prepare more than 25, and we had to cheat to give the Divine Soul Sorcerer 25 spells, or else it only gets a measly 15 spells plus one spell based on the alignment of your divine bloodline. We're also cheating a little with the mind games and nightmares category as while mental manipulation is scary and evil, it isn't necessarily the stereotypical evil one invokes with a dark mage. Although Wizard is the clear winner, it's worth pointing out certain interesting data. The Undead Warlock is the master of Necromancy, with the Wizard close behind at 11, separated only by access to Death Ward. Warlock is also the master of Shadow Magic and Eldritch Magic, but that's kind of the Warlock's whole shtick. The Divine Soul Sorcerer is the master of Pestilence magic, making it a great fit for a Plague Doctor type character, as well as Curses & Evil magic, narrowly beating out the Fiend Warlock. The Wizard is the clear master of Mind Games & Nightmares, and the Wizard and Divine Soul Sorcerer are tied at using Necrotic Damage spells. Wizard and Warlock are evenly matched at wielding Fiendish Magic. While the Bard is pretty much restricted to curses and mind games, it is possible to build a bard that uses exclusively dark magic. They just won't be the greatest dark mage of all time. In terms of who wins the most categories, the Divine Soul Sorcerer wins Pestilence, Curses & Evil, and ties for Necrotic Damage. Without considering subclasses, however, Wizard wins Necromancy, Mind Games & Nightmares, and ties for both Fiendish Magic and Necrotic Damage.

THE BUILD

There are a few good choices for race when building the ultimate dark mage. The Fallen Aasimar's Necrotic Shroud feature adds proficiency bonus Necrotic damage to every attack while the necrotic shroud is active. They also get darkvision and resistance to both necrotic and radiant damage. The Dhampir not only gets dark vision, it lets you stop breathing and make vampiric bite attacks to regain hit points. Reborn are even harder to kill, with advantage against poison, and disease, resistance to poison damage, and advantage on death saves, on top of not needing to eat, drink, sleep, or breathe. But they don't get dark vision. And of course, the Custom Lineage can give your dark mage 60 ft of darkvision, and any feat, letting them take feats like Magic Initiate, Resilient (CON), Shadow-Touched, Eldritch Adept, and more. Ultimately, I feel that the Fallen Aasimar and Reborn are the strongest candidates as they are innately dark and creepy, whereas the Custom Lineage can be made dark and creepy. We'll treat this build as a Fallen Aasimar mostly because Reborns don't get darkvision and that is a pretty huge hindrance. Otherwise, we'd go with Reborn.

Haunted One is the darkest background possible and is also the default background of The Dark Urge in Baldur's Gate 3. We're going to ignore the background's options in order to take Intimidation to bully our way through the campaign and religion to study burials and undead. Since we know we're going Wizard, we'll also pick up arcana to study magic and medicine to study the body, blood, bones, organs, and everything else. However, if you want a sneakier dark mage, you could also go with Deception and Persuasion from our background to maintain a personable façade.

WIZARD SCHOOL OF NECROMANCY

Of course, necromancy is our subclass of choice. The power to raise a stronger horde of undead and it not being tied to specifically Animate Dead does make the Necromancy Wizard pretty useful. And the Command Undead feature really makes the mastery of dark magic vibe feel earned. There is a case to be made for Evocation. The Overchannel feature that sacrifices HP for damage is very dark mage. However, one feature stacked against an entire subclass of dark magic is no real contest. So, we'll go with the School of Necromancy.

The School of Necromancy also has a feature called Grim Harvest, which heals the Necromancer any time they kill an enemy with a spell, and more-so if it was a Necromancy spell. The spells Wither and Bloom, Vampiric Touch, and Enervation each damage the target with Necrotic damage, then heal the caster by half the damage dealt. These two healing factors can stack, making these very useful spells, and Wither and Bloom and Vampiric Touch can be chosen as Signature Spell and Spell Mastery, giving your necromancer an unlimited use of a way to regain hit points, even if it's rather low. It's more effective as a means to patch oneself up between fights, killing a few squirrels or birds to regain hit points for no cost. A 1 level dip into Life Domain can not only give the Wizard Heavy Armor proficiency and access to the Inflict Wounds spell, it can also further boost the self-healing gained from these three vampiric necromancy spells. Although False Life is on the Wizard spell list, the Eldritch Invocation Fiendish Vigor can give your Wizard a way to spam False Life between every encounter, making them just a little less squishy.

SPELL LIST

C Chill Touch, Infestation, Mind Sliver, Poison Spray, Toll the Dead 1 Cause Fear, False Life, Ray of Sickness, Shield, Silvery Barbs, Tasha's Caustic Brew, Tasha's Hideous Laughter, 2 Blindness/Deafness, Crown of Madness, Darkness, Melf's Acid Arrow, Shadow Blade, Tasha's Mind Whip, Web, Wither & Bloom 3 Animate Dead, Antagonize, Bestow Curse, Enemies Abound, Fear, Speak with Dead, Spirit Shroud, Summon Lesser Demons, Summon Shadowspawn, Summon Undead, Summon Warrior Spirit, Vampiric Touch 4 Blight, Edvard's Black Tentacles, Phantasmal Killer, Sickening Radiance, Spirit of Death, Summon Greater Demon, Vitriolic Sphere 5 Cloudkill, Danse Macabre, Dominate Person, Dream, Enervation, Infernal Calling, Modify Memory, Negative Energy Flood, Planar Binding, Synaptic Static 6 Circle of Death, Create Undead, Disintegrate, Eyebite, Flesh to Stone, Mental Prison, Soul Cage, Summon Fiend, Tasha's Otherworldly Guise 7 Finger of Death, Power Word: Pain, Symbol, Tether Essence* 8 Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting, Clone, Dominate Monster, Feeblemind, Maddening Darkness 9 Imprisonment, Power Word: Kill, Weird

INFERNAL SOUL SORCERER

The Divine Soul Sorcerer did pretty well for itself, so I figured I'd give a 25 spell list known for the DSS as a little Halloween Treat.

C Acid Splash, Chill Touch, Infestation, Mind Sliver, Poison Spray, Toll the Dead 1 Bane, Inflict Wounds, False Life 2 Shadow Blade, Tasha's Mind Whip, Wither and Bloom 3 Animate Dead, Antagonize, Bestow Curse, Spirit Guardians, Vampiric Touch 4 Blight, Spirit of Death, Vitriolic Sphere 5 Cloudkill, Contagion, Enervation 6 Circle of Death, Create Undead, Disintegrate, Harm 7 Finger of Death, Symbol 8 Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting 9 Power Word: Kill

#halloween #happy halloween #dnd #dungeons & dragons #dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #dark magic #witchcraft #necromancer #necromancy #lich #demon #black magic #all hallows eve #villain #villain pc #villain character #evil campaign