Inspired by this post
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Tim and Damian trying to stick it through one of Bruce’s gala events. You can best believe that Tim tells Jason about this immediately afterwards while Damian screeches denial in the background
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Tim: With all due respect, Bruce, Damian has no feelings.
Jason: He once said the best comedy of all time was "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."
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it’s a four person game so they’re playing on teams
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Young Justice #46 (06/05/02) “Rock The Vote!”
Red Robin #20 (02/09/11)
Some things never change.
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*After tripping over the curb and spilling all his coffee*
Tim: Nothing good will ever happen again.
*Twelve seconds later*
Tim: So far my theory has been confirmed.
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I love Tim’s tactic of ‘convince the elder hero you will do exactly as they say and then do the exact opposite’
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Patrol snacks are a very serious matter.
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Reporter: superboy, fans are dying to know what is your type in women? Maybe a certain heroine?
Conner: hmm i don’t know, would they consider Red Robin as a heroine? Because he’s really my type
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He did say okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Any Batkid ever: Don’t tell Bruce about this?
Any batkid ever: You want me to lie to Bruce?
Any Batkid ever: Is that a problem?
Any batkid ever: No.
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batfam as things my friends have said ~ pt. 2
villain of the week, to dick: you have nice skin
votw: where did you get it? walmart?
dick, offended: i’m not that cheap!
steph, whacking them over the head: ITS GUCCI BITCH!
cass: sorry i had to start again my balloon popped
dick: are you cereal?
cass, deadpan: no i’m milk
steph, in the middle of a conversation: is that a cat??
tim: no it’s a chicken. anyway—
jason: dude your arms are really long look at that shit
dick: yeah i’m like an orangutan
talking about tumblr:
damian: that’s where all the cringey people are
tim: THE GAYS??!?
cass: my bread... my bread...
babs: what happened to your bread?
cass: it fell on the ground...
steph: ben barnes — what a man, but i’d bitch slap the darkling in a heartbeat
cass: i don’t even like men and i can tell he’s hot
steph: exactly you can appreciate the art without wanting to fuck the painting
cass: that is a truly unique expression
steph: thank you :)
tim: i’m getting paid $5 for this
jason: ok but will $5 be enough to pay for your medical bills after i’m done with you?
tim, stopping talking halfway through a sentence: jesus christ what am i even on?
steph: i’m not sure what you’re on but can i have some?
tim: sure i think it’s called perfectionism and sleep deprivation
tim: it’s very addictive so be careful
duke: you are a menace to your own health and safety
tim: yeah i know :(
(credits to @piratejedi8175 quote book)
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I hc that Tim is the kind of person who is smart in an unintentionally obnoxious way and Jason is smart in a pretending-to-be-not-smart-but-it-ultimately-backfires-because-everyone-else-is-too-stupid
So Jason ends up being his "dictionary-to-dummies" translater
Tim: *explaining a bad situation with a lot of big words*
Not-Tims: ok, so, whats that mean???
Not-Tim Jason: It means we're fucked
Dick is the Titans leader, Damian could've gotten a PhD at 7, Duke is a writer, Steph put herself through college, Cass picks things up swiftly, Babs is Oracle, Alfred is Alfred, Kate is ex-military, and Bruce is the World's Greatest Detective...
And if we're including the other three that I normally include, Harper is a self-taught engineer, Cullen worked with Midnighter, and Carrie saved Batman.
Not sure what you mean by "Not-Tims" here.
(Also Tim’s the CEO of a major company, he knows how to use plain English)
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Tim: We haven't considered another culprit in the Dyatlov Pass incident: Batman.
Kon: Was your Dad alive in 1959 or are we just assuming he can time travel?
Tim: No, he wasn't alive yet, but I don't think that would stop him.
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Tim: i think we're missing something
Jason: a general sense of what we're doing?
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Kon: Tim, my beautiful angel, I would cross oceans and move mountains for you. I would fly into darkness if I knew it would make you happy.
Tim: Can I have some of your fries?
Kon: I'm sorry but these are, unfortunately, my fries.
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this is. very specific. but of Batman’s family members as I understand them, the leverage team are as follows:
- Sophie is Dick Grayson
- Eliot is Jason Todd
- Hardison is Tim Drake
- Parker is Cassandra Cain
- Nate is I dunno the riddler probably (ok he’s Batman but I feel like knowing that would go to his head)
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Hello, you answer super fast !
Could you do a headcanon where Gender Neutral reader met the bat family accidentally for the first time while going out with Jason (not romantically), please ?
Thank you and have a nice week !
Sorry this one took longer, I hope it was worth the wait!
Meeting The Family
You and Jason liked spending time together
You’d go to the movies or the mall or art fairs, stuff like that
Anything where you could just hang out when Jason wasn’t doing his vigilante stuff
Today you’d gone to a small local bookstore where you loaded up on books from their used section
After you walked down the street to a burger place
You two were happily talking while eating your food, when you heard the bell above the door ring to signal someone had walked in
“Oh no,” Jason said, sinking down in his seat
“What is it?” You asked, turning around in your seat to see who came in
A large group of people walked in, and before you could try to figure out who they were, the tallest one waved in your direction
“Jason!” He said, and you turned back to your friend, giving him a questioning look as the guy came over and slid into the booth beside Jason
Several others came over, three boys and a girl
“Well, aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” The boy in the booth asked with an almost teasing smile
Jason rolled his eyes, but he pointed to each person and pointed them out
“This is my brother Dick,” Jason said, “These are my brothers Damian, Tim, and Duke, and my sister Cas.”
Damian climbed into the booth beside Dick and began stealing Jason’s fries. “Your friends with Jason? Tt. You could do better.”
Jason reached over and shoved Damian, who just ducked away from his hand and grabbed another handful of fries
“He’s just teasing,” Tim said, grabbing Jason’s drink to steal a sip before seeing if was Sprite, to which he scrunched up his nose and set the drink back down
“Sorry about them,” Duke said to you, giving an awkward smile
“What are you all even doing here?” Jason asked
Cas slid into the booth next to you, and you scooted over without thinking about it before saying “Bruce said we could go out to eat today. He’s out parking the car now.”
“We’re going to need another table if we’re going to fit everyone here,” Dick said, already looking around to see if there was one to drag over
“No, you’re not staying,” Jason said, exasperated
“Come on, Jason,” you said, “Let them stay. It’s nice to finally get to know your family.”
“Yeah Jason, let us stay,” Dick said, poking Jason in the arm
Jason swatted his hand away, but you could tell that he wasn’t actually annoyed
“Alright,” he said, “You can stay.”
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Jason is not amused.
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Batfam as my friends
Steph: hey, do you want to go to the mall?
Damian: demonic screeching
Steph: that’s fair
Duke: hey man, are you okay?
Tim, on his 7th cup of coffee, laying on the floor: ........no
Duke: do you....need anything?
Duke: i think you’ve had enough
Tim, turns and stares at Duke in silence
Duke: yeah, I’m gonna go now
Damian: hello Richard, how are you
Dick: I don’t know, nevermind, how are you Damian
Damian: no. I asked first. How. Are. You. *pointing sword at *
Dick, his hands up between him and the sword: ok, ok, I’m great, how was your test?
Damian: It went acceptably well
Tim, to Bruce: See, I drew a picture of swiss cheese because it has holes in it and sometimes your perspective does too.
Bernard: Remember when I had a crush on Robin?
Tim, panicking: you had a crush on Robin???
Bernard: yeah, that was crazy, not like I’d ever get the chance to date him, I...think it was the third Robin...
Tim, internally: what the fuck what the fuckwhatthefuck.
Roy, drunk with the outlaws: Bro...if you wanted, I would have gay sex with you
Jason, less drunk but thinks it’s funny: you would have gay sex with me? bro, I would have gay sex with you
Roy: bro, I mean I would, but I’m aco bro
Jason: bro!!!! i’m ace too!
Roy: do you wanna marry me without the gay sex part?
Jason: tax benefits?
Roy: tax benefits
Teacher: Hi class, today we’re talking about religion. Would anyone like to share? Tim
Tim: I’m pagan
Teacher: ...thank you Tim, anyone else, no? how about we go around in a circle
Stephanie: Athena and Hecate and Hades
Jason: I worship Zendaya
Bernard: I have an altar to Misha in my room
Teacher: ...On to our next subject
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