#Red velvet traybake | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seychellse · 3 years

Text

First of all I cant believe I really wrote this and said, “yeah, I’m gonna post this” this is just one of many stupid things I should have left as a dumb 2am thought

There is some violence mentioned so I’m flagging it just in case ok ok

Thought: would you kill the love of your life for a lifetime supply of breadsticks? How about baguettes, freshly baked? Able to be ordered on demand, any time you felt a flight of fancy coming on. Chocolate traybakes? An unending supply of sweetmeats of your choice?

Eren for sure would, little hesitation on his part. But he’d gauge how good the lifetime supply is before merking you at least, and would demand samples, would make you try them too as a final olive branch before you die. I headcanon that he doesn’t like sweet stuff much and he’d be way more motivated by savoury offers, so cake is out for sure. It would probs be something shitty too - he would tempt you into acquiescing to his demand to die by plying you with challah and pita, but he’d switch up the SECOND you’re gone and opt for like soda bread or pumpernickel, something that would make you fully regret giving up your life lol

Surprisingly, Annie and Historia would too 🤔 The latter would maybe be more reluctant but for both of them, all they need is some convincing from the terrible influences in their lives - that’s always enough to spur them into making bad decisions lol. Annie would do it for carrot cake but would prefer red velvet or maybe the quintessential chocolate chip cookie (the crumbly, foil packet type, not the melt-in-your-mouth soft kind). She’d also murmur apologies over and over again as the light dims from your eyes and you exhale for the last time and she would ever so gently carry you to your grave, making sure nobody knew of her sin of greed and mariticide. She’d pick an easy way for you to go, so she can feel less guilt for her decision. Anyways, Historia is another one for preferring savoury over sweet, so she’d go for any kind of bread that would pair well with a good, soft cheese and, queen that she is, pulls the soft, warm baked dough from its crispy crust oh so gingerly. She’s delicate with it because she’d also be trying to push out the parallel image of her gazing down at you screaming out for help, for redemption or at least an end to your suffering while you, too, were torn apart.

Connie would do it but he’d regret it for sure - you can only fill the void with sweet Danish pastries and savoury bruschetta for so long I guess. Niccolo would help him make some ciabatta to help him get over it on Sasha’s request but she’d just sneak in and eventually he’d tell em to get lost with their lovey-dovey nonsense and break down, regretting his moment of greed for the life he had made forfeit. Connie it’s honestly OK; grilled cheese made with rustic-style slices of granary white bread and skinny Swiss cheese will take the pain away :’-( plus it’s free! Free forever! For his own sake and not to insult your memory and sacrifice he’d get over it eventually, but the taste of bloomer loaves will forever feel hollow to him.

Jean is 100% the opposite fr fr. He’s got you, boo! No way he’s giving you up for some fucking bread. It’s actually very sweet how heated he gets about it so you make sure nobody tries to bring it up again in case he actually blows a gasket. But you’ll clutch him at night, perplexed as to why he’s so rigid and stiff the closer you get. The reason? He’s tormented by the thought of hastily refusing the offer - like, sure, bread is whatever. Not good enough to end a life for sure. But: he deadass could have had an on-demand supply of madeleines... Viennese whirls... petit beurres... butter biscuits of the highest quality... the thought of what could have been will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Mikasa would kill anyone who even asked her that. How dare they?? She, who lost her original family, her adoptive family, her found family, AND the people she tried to find comfort and community with afterwards??? And now you’re asking if she’d give up the one person she clung to in her moments of weakness, the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with?????? Are you insane. No amount of crumbly loaves are worth your life. Pita’s a favourite of hers (she’ll insist with such passion that it’s not just bc Eren’s partial to them too), along with herby breads like garlic bread and focaccia, but even the promise of a lifetime’s amount of them will never sway her. She’d kill whoever had the nerve to ask before they could even finish the question tbh. #traumabonding #justgirlythingz

Armin is SUCH a sweetie - another for the ‘no’ pile. His tastes start off a little juvenile, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Everybody loves shortbread, after all - same with macaroons. But as he gets older, his tastes also shift from sweet to more savoury sweetmeats. It’s worth it to keep racking up a bill for the leagues of cheesy croissants and oatcakes he becomes partial to, if only because he gets to experience you waking him up every morning and feeding them to him with a smile and a fresh cup of espresso. Best boy 💯

The final babe that would never give you up for something as simple as a sweet, crumbly thing is Marco. Mmm, he’s a good man. Just like Jean, he would have recurring thoughts about his foodstuff of choice, which is 100% homemade garlic bread; the kind made with a proper butter instead of premade paste and nearly falls apart after being pulled from the oven because it’s so soft, golden brown and glazed with honey. The thought makes his mouth water and his mind drift, but it also reaffirms his belief that the ephemeral dose of dopamine it would give him wouldn’t be worth the lifetime of pain he’d have to slog through without you to mitigate it. BEST BOY HE’S THE BEST

Honestly, Reiner is obsessed with ginger, so he loves gingersnaps and gingerbread in equal measures. It’s not just a Christmas thing with him; he’d eat the spiced biscuits any day, any time. He’ll bring an entire tin into bed, dip them in tea, salivate over designing gingerbread houses just to absolutely devour them like it’s some kind of ritualistic practice. He’s a sugar fiend for sure, but what really gets him going is more out-there flavour combinations. So he’s sacrificing you, but it’s for the sake of bringing lesser-liked sweet treats into the limelight for maximum enjoyment for the masses. Don’t you want people to enjoy what he enjoys? Don’t you want him to be happy? If he did sacrifice you, it would only be during a fit of madness, but he wouldn’t even be able to enjoy his veritable feast of aniseed or Anzac biscuits afterwards, and he’d probably go down with you. Romantic

Bertholdt would. He just would I’m sorry. He’s so basic with his choices too like dang you set yourself up for real? For endless flatbreads? For dry-ass crackers? it’s absolutely shocking. How can he sit there & exchange you for a plain, dry tortilla with his soul intact? That’s why he’d try and be sneaky about it; you’d judge so hard if he murdered you and all he got in return was a lifetime issue of whole wheat. He would have slight texture issues so filled sweetmeats are a no-go, and things like seeded bread are his absolute nightmare. He enjoys sweet things! He would enjoy pan de leche and agege bread so much if he wasn’t so afraid of change. Bertie baby; please for your own good try and push the boat out a little - don’t let your lover die for no good reason

It’s a little difficult to pinpoint exactly what kind of treat Ymir would destroy you for. One thing that sticks out to her is macarons, the brightly-coloured treats are both tasteful and tasty and make her think good thoughts. She likes that - but can’t decide if that’s enough to justify the atrocity she would be committing against you. She’s not too bothered about her own death, but yours...? Hard to say. Despite all of that, whether or not she would actually go through with it in the end, you do know that she will bring the dilemma up endlessly just to taunt you about it. She probably wouldn’t... probably.

Sasha is a total write-off lol bless her this one’s too easy. This is not up for debate in any manner that would make sense. Sasha is bae and she knows you are also bae. This does not, however, change the fact that she would also kill you for a half-empty share box of stale profiteroles fished out of a back-alley trash can downtown that she had to fight off both hobos and dumpster-diving hippies for. So for a fresh stack? A chocolate-covered, berry-topped, sugar dusted, ice cream filled croquembouche? Whenever she feels the urge? Don’t. Even. Bother. Listen - you love her enough to know that food comes first in her life, always. In fact, not only would you would help her kill yourself for her to receive an eternal supply of choux pastry, you would be GRATEFUL for the opportunity. OKAY?!

#aaaand send post #this is nonsense why am I thinking about this #I meant to make headcanons about what kind of dough-based product the aot crew would like best #but it’s 2am here so of course it’s devolved into somethin stupid #why am i like this #also I just fuckin love bread #aot multi #tw: violence #unspiced

96 notes · View notes