Watched Riders of Justice the other day & I genuinely think it might be Mads Mikkelsen’s best performance. It’s been 48 hours & I’m still thinking about it
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I'm Lost Too (Markus/Grigg) - Shortfic
Explicit // M/M // Grigg (Jane Austen Book Club)/Markus (Riders of Justice) // Tagged: Post canon Martin, AU Grigg, trans male characters, trans Grigg, canon death (Markus' wife), prequel, Personal reflection, self discovery, TW for slurs, self hate, Internalised homophobia, self acceptance, confessions, kissing, hand job (on a trans man), squirting, Happy ending. Prompt fill.
Prequel to Couldn't Wait
Markus and Grigg's individual journeys of discovery lead them to each other.
I'm Lost Too (3.6k):
Markus flicked through the app, not really paying attention to any of the profiles and not swiping for any of them.
It had been three years since his wife was killed and whilst he wasn’t particularly looking for anything or anyone, his daughter kept encouraging him to meet new people. Even if just as friends, even if for a date or two. Maybe nothing more, maybe something.
Just Mathilde insisting on that had made Markus realise how much she must mean it. She'd loved her mother deeply and missed her in ways Markus hadn’t always been equipped to deal with. So for her to suggest that he needed to find someone outside of the weird little circle of friends they had grown since the accident, he had taken those words to heart.
He had made an effort. Partly.
He had set up the app, looking for 'friends, dates, maybe more', but he never really looked at any of the pretty faces that rolled by. It just became a habit for when he was bored. He’d been lucky enough to get set up in a desk job at the local barracks rather than being deployed again, now that he was a single dad and needed to take care of his daughter. So life was very different to how it had been, in so many ways.
It did mean early starts and sometimes he was home before she returned from school, and those were the times that felt incredibly empty. He hadn’t known much outside of the army, it had been his life since before he even met his wife. He didn’t know who he was without it in some form or another. But being stationed at home gave him downtime in a way he never had when deployed. Being on tour was never 9 to 5. He was never lonely, always with fellow soldiers. He didn’t know how to cope with the time he could now spend in his own head.
The time where he could explore why he joined the army, and maybe more importantly, why he’d volunteered for deployment after deployment instead of spending that time with his wife and child.
The thought made Markus’ face flush, his neck burn. Maybe things would have been different if he’d thought for one minute that he could accept who he was back when he’d been younger, instead of fighting against it. He’d done the right thing, though. That much he knew.
There was no way he was a fucking faggot.
The thought made his throat tight and he aggressively scrolled past a few more profiles and then stopped. His thumb hovering over the phone screen. He thought it was an ad or something at first, but then realised it was a profile.
The photo was blank - no image provided. And where most had profile names like “Stacey, 29, looking for fun”, this one simply said, “I’m so lost.”
Continue reading on AO3
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families come in all shapes and sizes. sometimes a family is a teenage girl, her stoic chain-smoking military dad, wanky but well-meaning boyfriend, three mathematicians, and a Ukranian hostage-turned au pair who sews the buttons on your cardigan and packs your school lunches ❤️
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grrrs not brrrs or rita
yesterday, fallie and i went for a five mile walk by the river followed by hot chocolate. i gave him my lucite scorpion and a box of skull ring pops as a late halloween treat. we had a really nice time
i hadn't switched my thermostat over to heat yet this fall. it was fifty-nine fahrenheit in my apartment when i got up this morning
my kids are not with me this thanksgiving, and my parents have conspicuously not mentioned having dinner with me on thursday. i have some open invitations from friends, but i do not currently have actual plans for the holiday. nachos and a zatoichi marathon is my backup
riders of justice has replaced die hard as the reigning christmas action movie. freshly widowed post traumatic stress disorder chain smoking dad, mads mikkelsen, for the win. i watched it last week and i will probably watch it again before christmas
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Me, talking to my friend: "So it's this beautiful story about a bald man with a beard who must reconcile with his child after the tragic and meaningless death of his wife-"
My friend: "What's the guy's name?"
Me: Uh...
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