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xzaddyzanakinx · 2 months

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part One: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker x femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin loves you so much it hurts, he just really wants to make sure your silly little girl brain doesn’t get in the way of your safety, you have a cat, Anakin is a bartender [diary entries from Ani’s perspective] MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: May 2nd

The Cerulean was filled with loud music, flashing lights, and the stench of sweaty guys and spilt beer. Over-kill perfume on the girls who so desperately wanted my attention, writing their numbers on their drink coasters after finishing their stupid little cocktail. The occasional ‘break it up guys, c’mon’ yelled out at a pair of ‘roided up college boys. Peanut shells stuck to my sneakers at the end of the night, going home and washing off the stickiness from working behind the bar.

All things I was used to.

But you… not you. Every time I caught a glimpse of you tonight it was like the first time all over again.

Pink, skirt, sneakers, crop top. Such a cute little outfit; it made you easy to spot, easy to track, easy to watch over.

I have your drink order memorized. I so hoped you’d come back for another so I could hear your voice, to see your pretty little lips move just for me again. But you didn’t. Because you’re a smart girl. You knew that without a man around to look out for you, you’d be pretty hopeless if you got too tipsy. It only made me want to protect you more. You’re too soft, too sweet, too innocent to worry about the big nasty world around you.

That’s my job now.

I’ll always keep you safe, but I also want to keep you happy. You deserve the world and more, and I’ll give it to you.

I’d destroy the earth to build it up again in your design. I’d live for you, serve you, die for you, at any moment you might ask. Just say the word and I will. I promise I will.

Note: Motion sensors

Date:

May 23rd

Anakin walked a safe distance behind you, his hands in his hoodie pocket, his hood up and head down. It was dark out, the only light was from the street lamps.

Sometimes when he walked you home he just wanted to run up and grab you by the shoulders and shake you; ask you to please for once just pay attention to your surroundings.

You walked around with your headphones in, ignoring everything and everyone. Yeah it was a straight shot to your apartment from the bar. Only having to cross the road once during the mile long journey down the sidewalk. But a mile was a good stretch of space and there were plenty of people who passed you. A handful of creepy, unlit alleyways you could be dragged into.

You were practically asking for it.

He just had to remind himself that this was just another reason you were so lucky to have him. He’d watch over you, so you didn’t have to worry your pretty little head about nothin’.

Anakin stood by the corner store dumpster and watched as you trotted up the steps and tapped the door code into the keypad of your apartment building. After the door shut behind you and he saw the keypad flash red, he knew you were safely locked inside.

It took approximately one minute and 14 seconds for you to jog up the steps to your door, depending on how tired you were he could add a few seconds and not worry. But anything over 20 seconds had him sweating in a panic.

Tonight though you were right on time, his phone pinged with an alert that your door had been opened, and successfully shut behind you. Now he could breathe a sigh of relief and make his way back to work.

His boss was kind enough to never question why he skipped out for about 20 minutes a night or two a week. Anakin smoked, it wasn’t unlikely to assume he just got a little distracted scrolling on his phone during his smoke break or maybe just needed a few minutes of peace.

Now all he had to do was suffer through three more hours of monotonous work and try not get a head start on his hearing loss from the shitty music.

Then he could go home to you.

The cloak of stress he wore when you were out of sight vanished quickly when he perched on the fire escape and peered into your living room. Poor thing. You’d fallen asleep on the couch again.

Not that he minded. It made his night that much better when he could sit closer to you. It was a pain to climb the ladder of the building next door and sit on the rooftop so he could see into your bedroom window. Very inconvenient, but worth it everytime.

He sat quietly, observing you and the way your lips twitched while you slept, as though you were having a conversation with someone in your dreams. Probably him, he thought.

“Oh, your blanket… you’re gonna be cold if you keep squirming around like that, your blanket is gonna end up in the floor.”

His fingers itched to pry open the window and tuck you back in, but he didn’t. He promised himself he wouldn’t do that. No breaking and entering.

He decided it was time to head back to his own home after that, he couldn’t stay much longer without: a) falling asleep b) forcing his way into your apartment for the sake of keeping you warm.

So he trekked to the sidewalk, wiping off the rust stains on his palms from the old metal fire escape. Shoving his hands back into his hoodie pocket after blowing you a goodnight kiss.

Diary Entry: June 6th

You owe me big time young lady.

You left your door unlocked and your window cracked open. It is 3:00am, what if someone snuck in? Then what would I do?

Die probably. I’d probably die if something happened to you.

Therefore, I bit the bullet and helped you out. I’m lucky you’re a heavy sleeper and I’m not easy to startle or else we both would’ve had a big scare tonight.

I cracked open your window, slipped in quietly, lowered it behind me, locked it. Double checked it and then triple checked it just in case.

When I turned around- christ that fucking cat. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. Guard dog? Who needs a guard dog when you’ve got that monster running around?

A quick blur of orange and a loud *reeeareow* was the only warning before it- sorry, Boogie, climbed up my leg with her little pitchfork claws. I handled it well, you’d be proud. I picked her up by the scruff and gave her a light bop on the noggin’ just like you do when she’s in trouble; except I didn’t kiss it better afterwards, I think she would’ve eaten me if I tried that.

Any-who, I carried her with me to the kitchen and got her a little treat from the cutesy kitten jar on the countertop. Then she decided we could be friends or well… maybe or maybe not I don’t really know, I guess we’ll see.

I plucked your spare key from the top of the fridge and quietly left your apartment. I locked the door and checked it several times, just in case.

As I walked down the steps I saw that the super was kind enough to leave a reminder that the keypad code had been changed, how nice of him! You are awfully forgetful sometimes. No worries princess I took a picture for safe keeping.

I need to change the batteries on or door sensors soon anyway, those little button batteries don’t last very long you know.

It was only when I got home that I realized I still had your spare key… tsk tsk Anakin. Ah well, that just means it won’t fall into the hands of someone it shouldn’t. I’ll keep it safe.

I love you 🖤

Diary Entry: June 7th

You know, come to think of it. Now that I have a key I should get a few new items for your apartment, that way I can keep an eye on things for you while you’re away.

Note: Hd1080p microcam x4

There will be a bot to go along with this series! This is really short compared to my usual posts: I just wanted to give all my little lovelies a snippet of what’s to come.

Part Two

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @styleslytherin @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141

Let me know if you wanna be added/removed

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maledistributionsystem · 1 month

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C'mon now, sit down. Talk to me, what is you so scared for?

Fuck you mean "of what"? Im asking you why you so damn scared of transitioning. Who is you scared of?

Yknow what, fuck them. Fuck that noise and fuck them for tryna put that shit on you. Ain't nothin wrong with you, some men are born butterflies and others are born caterpillars. There isnt some grand betrayal caterpillars commit against caterpillarkind when they transform, theys just doin whats natural, so why cant you?

Nah, nah man you focused on the wrong shit here, who the fuck cares if you're ugly? Moths don't hide in the night cause they're "ugly", they just sleep all damn day. Sure, maybe you somehow aint cute in a few years, but you'd be happy, wouldnt you? You'd see the man you are in the mirror, you'd see a mans hands when you're just randomly doing shit, you'd smell and sweat like a man, you'll sound like a man, you'll look like a man, which is exactly what you want.

You listenin to all the wrong people bro, transitioning to be a man wont make you no angry roid monster or magically turn you into a sexist. You'll be beautiful and secure. Look at you now, hunched over and wearing clothes 2 sizes too big 'cause you dont want no one to notice you. What if you liked your clothes? What if you was proud of your body? Dont you wanna look down one day and finally see a cock?

I know you still scared, that's alright, I dont think caterpillars really know what they're doing when they decide to go sleep in a little pod for a few weeks either. That's what i'm here for, you dont got nothin to be scared of, you just gotta trust me, okay?

Cool, now get up and c'mon, I'll do you a favor and give you your first shot. Don't you give me that, it dont even hurt lmao, c'mon.

#force masc #forced masculinization #autoandrophilia #autoandrophile #black masculinity #black ftm #MDS Originals #i had to do this to myself. which hurts #you know?#I hope some freshly broken egg out there sees this and understands that there is endless beauty in manhood #I hope he knows he aint alone.#every emotion has already been felt a thousand times over. take solace in the fact that you aint unique

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octuscle · 2 months

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I'm a dad of 2 boys. My eldest is 22 and my youngest is 18. My younger son has some problems with a bully in his school and I want to help him but I don't know how. A friend of mine told me about your support and I hope you've an idea. Looking for to hear from you soon

One possibility is for me to do a bit of biographical work on your younger son… He is 18 years old. When his older brother turned 18 four years ago and went to college, he started bodybuilding. And your younger son was incredibly fascinated by your older son's successes. He soaked up all the information on nutrition, supplements and training like a sponge. First he secretly trained with your older son's dumbbells and then soon started pumping iron like a beast in his high school gym. As a junior without an older brother at the same school, he still had to deal with bullies at first. But that was soon history…

His puberty set in quickly afterwards, stimulated by the training. With power! Shit, your older son was so jealous when his younger brother grew a beard before him. He had to get used to the fact that his "little brother" quickly had a more massive upper arm, that he lifted more weight when doing squats. Your younger son then started shaving his skater boy curls. The buzzcut made him look even older, even more masculine. Your older son then got his first tattoos to assert himself. Your younger son was so jealous. But you and your wife agreed: no tattoos before his 18th birthday. Well, that was a few weeks ago now, the tattoos have healed. And your younger son already has his next appointments at the tattoo parlor.

In order to keep up with his younger brother to some extent, your older son swallowed and injected everything that could give him a massive body. He had no chance against his younger brother's genes. Today, your older brother is a real steroid pumper. With roid gut, acne on his shoulders, he only eats pure protein. He's a senior in college and about to graduate with a degree in mechanical engineering. A good kid. Your younger son, on the other hand, is a natural. And what a natural!

Does that sound like a solution? Then I'll tinker with a preset and send it to you. Just import it, click on Activate and then see if anyone else dares to bully your junior.

It's 06:00 in the morning when you come into the kitchen. Your son is preparing his 20 scrambled eggs for breakfast. This is his second breakfast. He's already had his first dose of protein before his first training session. He playfully punches your chest. Shit, even when he backs off, it hurts. In his melodious baritone, he asks you if you slept well, what your plans are for today and whether you'd like to do a round of chest training with him tonight. The thing he just boxed against felt a little weak. You grin. Of course you're the father. Of course you're the older one. But anyone watching you might think that your junior is the man of the house. And no one would think he's 18.

You enjoy training with your son. Most people in the gym think that you can afford the most promising young bodybuilder in the whole state as a personal trainer. You both like to play this game. And in fact, your son already earns more than you as a personal trainer, fitness influencer and fitness model. In the back corner, one of your son's classmates is training his biceps. He doesn't take his eyes off your son for a minute. And he has a visible hard-on. "Hehehe," says your son. "Do you see that prick back there?" You nod, of course you've noticed the guy, the way he's checking out your son. Your son grins. "Four years ago, he stole my milk money. Today he pays me his daily takings as a bully to suck my cock." Shit, your son isn't just a personal trainer, fitness influencer and fitness model. He's also a whore. But you can understand that. You know your son's horse sized dick. You'd pay to suck it too.

Pic found @truevikingblood-blog

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #inked man #tank top

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malegains · 6 months

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Anthony from Corporate came by our store about six weeks ago. Couldn’t believe the size of him, he was just a normal guy when he visited last year, now he looks like some sort of freaky huge roided out bodybuilder. We were all on shift when he was here, and I guess seeing him look so huge inspired us, because we all started getting serious about the gym right away. And well, the results have been kinda crazy, don’t you think! Can’t wait for him to come back next year, we’re gonna be MASSIVE by then.

#ai muscle #ai muscle growth #male muscle growth #muscle growth story #muscle #starbucks muscle #musclegrowth #mus

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lorestars · 1 year

Video

flickr

Sin título : Film - Fuji Instax Mini 90

#film #analógica #instax #instantánea #Roid Week 2023 #Day 2 #analog #dog #perro #flowers #flores #double exposure #doble exposición #lorestars #Fuji Instax Mini 90 #fujifilm #flickr

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slocumjoe · 1 year

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What about NSFW facts? About every companion?

He's being very popular lately so I'm eager to know something about Gage.

Actually, I posted a while ago that I wanted to do more risqué stuff. I got, like, 6 different people screaming DO IT DO IT DO IT, and now I have you, and a handful of other people going 👀 where is it👀 wheres the nsfw👀 you said you would 👀

Lol. Enjoy your Gage content.

Warning; you can probably pinpoint which companion i...think about more...

Cait; Mostly a top, will power bottom however. Her partner is in danger while going down on her. Those legs are weapons. You're very brave. Will find lingerie for her partner regardless of gender. Tits are tits and she found a cute bra for yours. Give her a strap on and she'll put a baby in you through sheer will. Has a kink for, oddly enough, knight/princess shit. She likes the idea of a chivalrous knight (her) saving a beautiful, dainty princess (Sole, regardless of gender) from a dragon (deathclaw) and taking them to a marriage bed (fucking on a bench out of nerves and triumph).

Curie; Curves for days. Girl is stacked. You need a snorkel to faceplant in her tits. Finds medical roleplay deplorable, but...she likes a uniform...and there is something sexy about handcuffs...Most likely to wear lingerie behind [REDACTED]. She's great with her hands but doesn't understand that a prostate is a delicate organ and needs to be used sparingly. Forget stars, you're gonna see alien civilizations. If she learns what a titjob is, RIP. Down for anal.

Danse; Submissive, service top, pillow princess bottom. Moans like a pornstar. Extremely sensitive chest. If you boss him around as soon as you'll praise him, he's not going to last long. Really into being tied up. Most likely to cry during sex. He's touchstarved, he's lonely, and he's eager to please. Blushes at the slightest mention of sex or kink. Still nods and goes along with whatever you want. Overstimulation and edging kink. Not into roleplay, but especially can't get into roleplay that involves inappropriate workplace relationships or otherwise dubious consent. If a cop/doctor/knight ever did that, they should have been fired. That's completely unacceptable, there's no way that could be– [muffled sounds of Sole kissing him to shut him up]

Deacon; Most likely to wear lingerie. Does it as a joke until he realizes Sole is actually into it, unironically. Does some crazy things with his tongue, could tie together a whole ass fishing net. Really sensitive thighs. Fav position is anything partially standing. Not quite wall-sex, like...kind of half-over a desk, or leaning against a counter. Not into spontaneous sex, likes to plan ahead. I've said before, big on roleplay, and he needs to have a script ready. Open to all kinks except 69ing, not even for the bit. Gets nervous about the idea of both of them being in anyway gagged, or otherwise silenced. Also...he's a biter....so maybe not the safest...

Gage; Moan in his ear and you can forget walking for a week. Very...auditorially motivated. Is that a word? It is now. Has a thing for chubbier people. Raiders are lanky, walking skeletons or roided up meatloafs. There's no softness to them. So some flab, anywhere on the body? You can bet he's gonna sneak some feels whenever he can. Gage is a thigh guy. Usually pretty dominant, prefers having control, but like...if you push, he's folding. What, he's gonna argue, say no, you can't ride me into the sunset? Will never admit, but if, for whatever reason, his partner laughs during sex, he's fucking smitten. It just...does something to him.

Hancock; Give him oral and he'll melt. Eats ass/pussy like a man starved. The skin feels really weird. Knifeplay kink, blood kink, really into 'dangerous' roleplaying. Public sex is also a yes. Swears up and down he used to have an ass. He did not. Swears up and down the ghoulification made his dick bigger. It did not, was already that size. Has a thing for deep voices. Carries so many condoms on his person because he doesn't want to irradiate any partners. Has a soft spot for sitting positions. Has a hard spot for BDSM. Said it before, but way too into dirty talk. It...gets weird...

MacCready; Ultimate jack-off material is a fantasy of riding the Silver Shroud, back to chest, while the Mistress of Mystery rides him. But he did have a pretty intense crush on KL-E-O for a while...mostly because it had been a while, and she's outwardly flirty...had nothing to do with the build of Assaultatrons. Totally. Nope. Not even a little. Gravitates towards shorter women and taller men. Also has a thing for dark hair and eyes, less attracted to other blondes and other blue-eyed people. Noisy as shit, will bite his lip bloody to keep from cussing. Doggy style is his favorite position but good luck getting him to admit that.

Nick; Again, needs gloves. Dickless, his only option is hands. Lacks a tongue. At least, a...pleasurable one. Begins viewing nice gloves as a kind of lingerie, since they're more visually appealing to his rubber glove and oven mitt. Sex with Nick is a challenge. Also auditorially motivated. He doesn't have anything else. Used to like oral and—bizarrely—pet play. Used to have a sensitive belly and neck. Now, Nick has some wires that give him an interesting jolt when tugged on. Recommended only for the robotically inclined...then again, you wouldn't be here if you weren't, huh?

Piper; Is a loud and proud tit woman and isn't afraid to say it. Will snap necks getting too into face-sitting. Really enjoys having the reigns, actually. Her hips move on their own accord, you may as well sit back and let her body do as it pleases. Ultimate sexy fantasy is...something she's really embarrassed about. The idea of hooking up with a best friend who's already taken, but by a shitty partner, really appeals to her. Will never admit this, God forbid act on it. Semi-public, we-could-get-caught sex is also thrilling. Also a biter and scratcher.

Preston; Weak for shoulders and collarbone. Also, prominent veins. Had a hoe phase when he first joined the Minutemen. Everyone who would know is dead now. Isnt sure he prefers it that way. Likes his partners face-down. A lot more bossy than you'd expect. Pretty vanilla, but shower sex is such a turn on, you'd think it was some deep, dark fetish. Can keep you up for hours without losing stamina. He takes his time with his partners, really explores them and what they like. People who go to bed with always want a second encounter, then a third, a fourth, so on. Shame most of them are dead. Could probably take over Goodneighbor with one 'night on the town.'

X6-88; Throwing my Ace headcanon aside for now. A sexually interested X6-88 is a wildcard. Considers the act a test of physical capabilities. He's a courser. He loves his physical capabilities being tested. Every single time is...more than the last. He wants to get a better grade, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve. First time is standard, the 50th, God knows where you'll be. You might be fulfilling the fetish fantasy of a pre-war basement dweller whose computer X6 read through one time. The activity he most enjoyed took 6 hours of edging and every comic book Sole had collected up to that point. Fun fact; Sole can't read with something inside them. X6 finds this strange—he's had knives and bullets inside him, and he could read just fine. Maybe it's a courser thing.

He's curious, not kinky. That might be worse than kinky.

#fo4 #fallout 4 #paladin danse #preston garvey #piper wright #nick valentine #x6-88 #robert joseph maccready #companions react #hancock #porter gage #for the one codsy fan in the back; the flamethrower is shaped like a dick. maybe could be used like one

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emilio-the-dumb-wrestler · 5 months

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I really loved the All Sean and No Brains story and was hoping you could transform me into someone like that

You do realize what you’re asking right ? The last time someone asked me do make them part of the farmhouse they regretted it shortly after. But I see how much you long to join the ranks of freakdom. So that’s exactly what you’re going to be. You’re going to go through every change Shawn did. Only yours will be much quicker.

Being a smaller man, when you found the genie lamp it was obvious you were going to wish for one thing. Muscle. you wanted to impress the dudes at the gym with your frame and your muscles but never seemed to be able to grow any. While you were sleeping your body changed. Making you into the exact version of yourself you always wanted to be Standing in front of the mirror you’re shocked to see a heavily muscled man. Tight abs and a hairy chest. Arms bulging with muscle and veins beginning to stick out. Your hair neatly cut. Your waist has not an ounce of fat on it. Your legs are bulging with muscle while your balls are already churning a he at load that is beginning to leak. All flowing down to some large size 15s. Much larger than the size 11 they were the night before.

You’re not even sure what to think of your new body. You’re finally everything you ever wanted to be. You flex in the mirror and you see everything bulge. Your smirk knowing that you’re a stud now. You quickly get dressed and go to the gym. Finally you are going to be able to show off in front of everyone. You’ll be able to make a scene there just like the other guys you envied. Only got some reason when you pushing the limits you notice that they are just standing back. Judging everything you do. Sure your form might not be perfect but it seems like they were making fun of you ! You quickly call them out. They must not realize what type of god like body you have now and rip your shirt off for them to see every bulging muscle. The men just sigh and make a comment about how week you are still. Only a true man would be massive. They walk away broing it out with each other leaving you to seeth in the hateful comments. You go to your gym bag put of anger and pull out the lamp. Being hasty you made another wish. This time s team “genie make me an over bloated muscle freak!”

Instantly you fell to your hands and feet moaning in agony as you felt like a balloon was under skin and in your stomach. You yell out fuck and your muscle begin to balloon in size and when you manage to stand up you stomach had taken its own free will and lurched forward in a hard muscle ball. You get shorter by a couple of inches but your feet get even larger now at 17 wide. Your hair reversed completely and hour back begins to show spots of acne from serious roid abuse while you balls shrinks. You don’t even have time to register that you skin is changing color and your begin to change race from white to Hispanic. Veins begin to pop out across your body as the roids begin to permanently pump through your veins and you begin to sweat. Now being the large roided muscle freak you wishes to be you try to bend over to pick up the lamp but your new size prevents you. You stumble forward and large size 17 crushes the lamp beneath hairy sweaty flesh. You had one wish left but it all gone now.

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aihoshiino · 5 months

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chapter 134 thoughts!

My immediate first thought going into this chapter and seeing how it picks up from last week's cliffhanger is that while I thought last week that this conflict served as an excellent character beat for both Ruby and Kana, I feel less positively about it as the catalyst for long term RubyKana conflict. Maybe that's hypocritical because I like the similar AquKana conflict back during the LoveNow aftermath and this is basically just a roided up version of that but… IDK, I guess it helped that the AquKana conflict is very clearly a romcom style miscommunication and it ends up leading to one of my all time favourite and funniest character moments for Aqua, this… isn't that. In general I really hate the old tried conflict trope of "Character A betrays or is otherwise cruel to Character B For Their Own Good and refuses to communicate about it" so this was kind of irritating to see…

It also really doesn't help that Kana is going SO above and beyond in being cruel to Ruby here in comparison to the AquKana conflict where her short-sighted lashing out was being mostly played for laughs but still came back to bite her. There's just something a bit excessive in how deliberately and pointedly cold and mean to Ruby Kana is shown being here and I guess it just feels a bit icky to me though I obviously can't make a proper call on all this til we see its conclusion.

I also have to question like… why is everyone around them just letting this happen lol. Memcho not intervening I can at least make sense of because she's been shown to be feeling off her game and a bit out of her element so I could see all that combining to make her uncertain of what to do but… uh, is Miyako not paying any attention? Admittedly the timeframe here is a little vague so we don't know exactly how long this has been going on but it's been happening at least long enough for Ruby to be going to school and fretting about it to her friends. So the idea of Miyako either being unaware of this or not intervening in this is really baffling to me??? Especially off the back of chapters 124 and 126 making a point of how badly Miyako wants to reach out to Aqua and Ruby and support them as their mother - the only way I can justify this to myself is if Miyako somehow doesn't know this was going on but how would she not know??? Like, we see Gotanda and his assistants fretting over Ruby crying after her scenes! If they're well aware something is wrong, why not Miyako? She's Aqua and Ruby's manager! This is a Strawberry Productions produced movie! We've seen her on set before! Is she just… not here now that it would be inconvenient for the plot?

(The answer to that is 'yes')

Uh all that up there does make it sound like I disliked either this or last chapter but I actually really loved them both for reasons we'll get into soon! I think they're both strong individual chapters and as points in RubyKana's shared arc I actually do really like this conflict, what it says about them both and where it seems to be taking them. There are just a lot of small, piled up contrivances pushing this conflict along and I think they annoyed me so much BECAUSE I otherwise think this is some really tasty character work for both girls and I'm otherwise enjoying it.

My bitching aside, I do really like the talk that follows this. I've been revisiting a lot of the earlier material recently via friends re-reading or giving the series a try for the first time so I've been back in that space of Ruby being particularly starstruck with Frill. It's sweet to see their present day dynamic where Ruby is fully comfortable with Frill just as her friend and trusts her enough to share her worries with her.

aw hey minami we thought you were dead

This entire scene really got my brain gears whirring and I can't help but speculate a little about its placement. At first I was just nodding along, thinking this was just Industry Exposition as usual but… isn't this odd? We don't see how Ruby phrases this question so maybe she was vague but from an authorial standpoint, why is Akasaka having Frill talk about love instead of dislike or hostility, which is what is actually going on between Ruby and Kana? Reading over that scene again and again, I can't help but wonder… is this supposed to be taken as some commentary on what's going on between Ruby and Aqua? Is Ruby developing confusedly romantic feelings for him purely because of their 'playing the roles', so to speak, of Sarina and Gorou? After all, the only other similar 'showmances', so to speak, that this could be referring to are AquKana and AquAka, neither of which quite fit the bill, especially when Frill talks about immediately snapping out of those feelings once the show is over — which didn't happen in the least for either pairing. Is this a hint of something to do with Ruby's feelings? Am I reading too much into this??? I mean, I almost definitely am, but I do that every week so…

Hopping over to Kana, the scene between her and Memcho itches my brain less mostly just because it's reiterating things communicated last week. I've said all I'll say about it feeling weird to me that Mem isn't making a move to intervene here but I do like the talk she and Kana have about their human jealousy towards Ruby. Honestly, I have a lot of respect for their being able to push it aside for so long because… honestly, none of what Kana said is wrong!

The second generation of B-Komachi exists for Ruby. Strawberry Productions got back into the idol business entirely so Ruby would have a group to be part of. Kana and Mem were recruited so Ruby would have unitmates to perform with. It doesn't revolve around her to the extent the previous generation did Ai, but in a very real sense Kana is correct when she identifies herself and Memcho as 'extras' for B-Komachi, who exist for Ruby's sake. Not only that but Ruby honestly treated them really badly while she was in black hoshigan mode! Yes, we as readers know what was going on in her head and why but think about how all that probably seemed to Kana and Mem who had no idea: From their POV, what happened was that they broke into mainstream success at last and Ruby immediately left them in the dust, prioritizing her own growth and success in a way that had a very real impact on the fan response the two of them got while they were busting their asses and trying their best to keep B-Komachi going in her absence. I don't think they would be wrong to feel honestly kind of used and hurt!

Obviously this isn't me saying that Ruby is a bad person or that she deserves to have Kana snap at her like that or whatever but… I dunno! It just feels good to have Mem and Kana finally address those feelings and admit to them without it compromising their genuine love and care for Ruby, which is one one of the main ways that the current gen of B-Komachi has surpassed the previous one. Kana especially touches on something I discussed last week in that I think her half of this shared RubyKana arc is going to be about confronting and besting her 'inner Nino', so to speak. Like Nino, she has those same tangled up feelings of admiration and envy, but Kana is capable of confronting them and identifying them. Most importantly, she loves Ruby enough to not let them take her over completely.

ANYWAY FORGET ALL THE REST OF THIS STUFF BECAUSE THIS WAS SECRETLY AN AI POST THIS WHOLE TIME MFS!!!!!!!! oh god this chapter review is already so long and now it's about to get even longer.

Anyone who's read any of my OnK meta before will probably know that I have always stood by one thing that I won't compromise on: Hoshino Ai was just a normal girl. She was a normal girl who suffered abuse and neglect and hated herself as a result, who was exploited by the entertainment industry because she was pretty and vulnerable, who didn't understand people but spent every waking moment of her too-short life reaching out so she could try and love them. The idea of Ai being fundamentally mysterious or unknowable, that the so called 'real Ai' had some horrible dark secret or that the supposedly 'true' Ai really was as horrible as Ai thought herself to be have never resonated with me. The 'real me' that is so horrible that Ai can only speak of her with black stars is nothing more than the flawed, hurting, abused human behind Ai of B-Komachi. I've said this all along and yet there's always been a little part of me worried that Akasaka was going to pull a fast one and betray that idea and rupture the heart of this character I've come to love so much.

To that end — I cannot tell you how insanely fucking cathartic the ending of this chapter was. To have Ruby at last come face to face with her mother as a human being and recognize her for who she really is. That this key final puzzle piece of the real Ai is centered on her pain and her loneliness and her raw humanity, that Ruby describes her as just a normal girl who was always crying and in pain… I genuinely don't have words to say how incredible it felt to finally, FINALLY have someone recognize Ai's suffering. And not just anyone, but one of Ai's children, one of the people she loved more than anything else in the world.

The imagery and framing here is so insanely powerful. Ai taking the place of Ruby's reflection, the look of weary, resigned pain on her face. How small Ai is when Ruby sees her. The barrier of the glass between them; even now in this moment of understanding, the unbreechable barrier of Ai's death keeps Ruby from truly reaching her. It almost feels skeuomorphic in how literal the visualization of this moment of connection and empathy is. Ruby literally sees herself in Ai — she sees Ai in herself. It's pure empathy made as real and tangible as it gets. At long, long last, someone has squinted past the blinding light cast by Ai of B-Komachi and seen Hoshino Ai alone in the shadows where she's been this whole time.

Break next week…! That was to be expected — Jump Festa 2024 will be taking place next weekend and there will be a OnK panel with the seiyuu for Ai, Aqua, Kana and Akane in attendance. We're confirmed to be getting some season 2 news as well, so there's that to look forward to!

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino

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